Chapter Text
Yuri: Guys I’m pregnant!
Vladimir: Yay I’m so happy for you!
Neil: We gonna grow this baby together!
Yuri: NO. THE CHILD IS NOT YOURS!
Neil: NOOOOO THEN WHOSE IS THIS CHILD
Yuri: K-Komarov’s-kun!
Neil: HOW COULD YOU
Vladimir: Omg Yuri I love you
Yuri: Same!
Vladyura kisses*
Wedding!
Valentina: And now I pronounce you officially married!
Gherman Titov suddenly appearing in his car: WHY DIDNT YOU INVITE ME?!?!?!?
IM GONNA KILL EVERYONE OF YOU!
Ed White: Omg guys what we gonna do?
Ed Blue: idk
Roger Coffee: I just wanted to be an astronaut!
Neil Armstrong: Stop. Gherman take only me
Titov: okay
Titov knockout Neil*
All: NEIL NOOOO
Yuri rushing to Neil: Nooo Neil please don’t die!
Neil: As one small step for man, one giant leap for you Yuri. Have a good life with Volodya. Goodbye..
Put a sandwich in my coffin
Dies*
Everyone: NOOOOOO WE WILL HONOR YOU ARMSTRONG
Months later:
Yuri: Ya Grrrr
Volodya: Ti mne?
Yuri: Ya Grrrr
Volodya Ti mne?
Yuri: Ya tututamtututam
Volodya: Hahah nu okey
CHOIR START SINGING LABUBU PHONK
Evil Buzz Aldrin appear: GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
Allan Shepard: Nope
Evil Buzz Aldrin turns Allan Shepard into Sheep*
HAHAHAH NO ONE WILL STOP ME
Volodya grabbing Yuri*
Volodya: Yura! C’mon follow me!
Yuri: Okay!!!!
In Kennedy Space Center:
John Young: Guys I made you all ham sandwiches!
Gus Grissom: Not the sandwich again…
John Glenn: Haha definitely not me flying on an Epstein’s jet…)
Allan Sheep runs in*
Sheep: MEEEEEEE MEEEE
Dick Slayton: Is that a sheep?
John Young: ANOTHER SHEEP FOR ANOTHER PORTION OF MY SANDWICHES
Roger Chaffee: Young I think we already ate a lot. Stop pls.
Yuri Gagarin and Vladimir Komarov runs in*
Vlad: GUYS BUZZ ALDRIN TURNED TO EVIL AND TURNED ALLAN INTO SHEEP. WE NEED TO STOP BUZZ
Mike Collins: at first we need to stop John Young before HE COOKS AL
Yuri: What’ve already happened?
Ed White: Neil would’ve already done something… so sad he died
Jim Lovell: yes, YURA ITS YOUR FAULT. BECAUSE OF YOU HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF. HE LOVED YOU!!!
Volodya; Guys please we need to…
Frank Borman: Sorry to interrupt but where are Johns?
John Young: I MADE A SHEEP-GLENN SANDWICHES