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A lot of people think that streaming is a cushy gig, and if I must be fair, I can see how they'd come to that conclusion. I mean, it's playing video games for a living, right? Or even just chatting with folks! Anyone could do that! And it's even easier if you're also a moderately attractive woman, right?
Whenever someone says that to me, I want to shake them like a maraca.
The fact is, streaming is rough when you want to do it for a living. The barrier to entry is super low and there's thousands of people making a stab at it that never break through. I considered myself lucky that I was managing to make ever so slightly more than minimum wage from it.
If you want to make it big as a streamer, and I mean REALLY big, you have to find some way to stand out from the crowd and make a name for yourself. Being cute isn't enough, though I'll admit, it certainly doesn't hurt. And once you have that something, then it's just a matter of being lucky enough to be noticed.
My name's Millie. I was a streamer, and I was extremely lucky. And it all started with a phone call from my brother.
~*~
I wasn't having a particularly good day. I hadn't had a good day in quite some time, in fact, but this day had been particularly not good. I'd needed to renew my drivers license and the DMV was packed, I missed the bus on the way home, and when I stopped for coffee, I spent fifteen minutes standing around like a doofus and waiting for my order because the barista had written "Billy" on my cup.
I was originally planning on streaming something new that night. Maybe I'd finally get around to trying out Space Apiary. I'd had my eyes on that one for a while and it had gotten good reviews. But when I finally plopped myself down in my chair, I was so frazzled that I craved the comfort of the familiar, so I just started up a new farm in Solarhill Village.
I went with a Swamp Farm this time. It's objectively the worst one but I didn't care. I wanted to share my suffering with the world.
Anyway, I was streaming pretty much on autopilot for most of this one, phoning it in even by my standards. I barely took any pleasure from banning the chuds telling me to whip out my boobs. That's how bad it was. When I cut to an ad break and went to get an energy drink, I didn't even notice that I wasn't alone in the kitchen until my roommate poked me.
"You alright, Millie?" she asked, and I recoiled and yelped. Which was kind of funny, I admit, because Florence was the least imposing person I'd ever met, five foot nothing with a petite build, coke bottle glasses, and a pale complexion. But she was very nice and also did tech support for my streams basically for free, just because she enjoyed the challenge.
"I'm fine," I murmured, as I cracked open the can and took a deep chug. "Just a hard day."
"Are you sure?" said Florence. "'Cause you named your new farm 'Assbutt Acres'."
"Someone gave me a twenty-dollar tip to do it," I said, a touch defensively. "I dunno, Flo. The day's just been getting to me. Maybe I'll just abandon society and run off to become a goat farmer in the mountains of Nepal. Wanna come with me?"
Florence smirked at me. "I do like goats."
As I was considering the merits of goat farming, my phone jingled. Normally I'd have ignored it, but I saw that it was my brother on the line, and he was on the short list of people who didn't get left on read.
"Hey, Martfart," I said as I picked up.
"Evening, Millipede," he replied. Martin and I shared a quick chuckle as we took a second to appreciate the deep and abiding love between siblings before he continued. "How'd you like to do your favorite brother a biiiiig favor?"
"You know, as my only brother, that makes you my least favorite too. But yeah, sure, what is it?"
"Nothing too big. Was wondering if you'd maybe consider having my baby."
That was when I sprayed energy drink across the room.
When I'd toweled off, I picked up the phone again and heard him laughing like a maniac.
"I'm gonna need just a liiiitle bit more context on that one, chucklefuck."
"Sorry, I couldn't resist." He cleared his throat, and he was much more serious this time. "So… don't tell mom yet, but Larry and I want to start a family."
"Aww, that's wonderful! But that still raises the question of where I come in."
"Well, since neither of us are properly equipped for the job, we had a friend of ours lined up who was going to act as a surrogate, and well… long story short, they're not going to be able to do it. It was kind of last minute and not their fault, but we've already got a donor egg ready to implant and we don't have the finances to hire a professional surrogate. So I know this is a big ask, and I'll completely understand if you—"
"I'll do it."
Now it was Martin's turn to go blank. I think he was expecting to need to convince me more.
"Seriously? Just like that?" he said, sounding positively baffled. "You'd have to go through an actual factual pregnancy. All nine months. All the aches and pains and everything and also, let's not forget, it has to come out of you at the end of it. All jokes aside, are you sure?"
I rolled my eyes. "Dude, you're my brother. And I know you're gonna be a great dad. Of course I'll do it for you. Assuming my medical expenses would be on you, of course."
Even through the phone, I could tell that he was trying his best not to start weeping with joy.
And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have been so flippant about the whole thing, but I love my brother and I'd always have his back. What was nine months of misery and discomfort compared to a lifetime of happiness for my favorite person in the world?
I'll spare you the graphic details of what happened next, but I assumed that my life would be more-or-less the same right up until I needed to go to the hospital, save for the fact that I had to cut back on the energy drinks.
In retrospect, I don't know what I was thinking.
~*~
Let me set the record straight once and for all: Being pregnant SUUUUUUUUCKS.
I'm sure that you've heard from a number of pregnant people about how they're “feeling the glow” and all that woo-woo nonsense, and I couldn't possibly be happier for them. But nothing could have been further from my experience.
I spent the first two months yakking my guts out every morning. After that I spent most days with my heating pad glued to me as my back started to ache. I had to pee two morbillion times a day. Parts of me were swollen and bloated in all sorts of unpleasant ways that I hadn't imagined were possible. Not to mention that I felt like I had a belly full of bricks as the little gremlin started to grow inside of me, and that only got worse when it started kicking me.
Plus, I couldn't have caffeine or sushi. This was torture. I had my due date circled on my calendar and every day I looked at it wistfully. The second this brat was out of me, I was going to chug a whole gallon of espresso.
You probably think I'm being hyperbolic, to which I say: I was cranky and hormonal, and I'm allowed to complain about it all I want.
And yet despite all of this, I still had to stream. Martin may have been picking up the tab for my visits to the doctor's office but I still had to make rent. And I'd certainly streamed through worse conditions. One of my most-viewed streams was the one I did while I was dealing with a nasty flu and hopped up on the good stuff. And since I kept all of my complaining off the stream, being knocked up didn't impact my professional life all that month.
Until one day, about six months in.
It had been a pretty big day for me. I was playing a new release that I'd been looking forward to, Interdimensional Tea House, and I was getting slightly more views than average. I was feeling good about it. And then, about half way through the stream, the Incident happened.
"Alright then, chat," I said, as I scrolled through my ingredients. "I need to make a hypermint latte with a shot of crystal essence for this dude, and he's a Zorblaxian, which means he's allergic to… crap, what was it?"
As I racked my brain, I reached over to take a sip from the cup of tea that Flo had made for me, only to find that the cup wasn't where I thought it was.
"Dangit, where did I put that," I murmured, looking around in annoyance. I rolled my chair around to get a better view of my setup, but I guess one of the wheels caught on a cord or something and I felt the chair start to tip and I'm sure I made all sorts of undignified noises as I tried to regain my balance. I stood up in a hurry, and as I did, my shirt got snagged on something, so of course I had to try and fix that as well and I ended up doing a little dance right in front of my webcam. And because of the way I was untangling my shirt, my big fat bump was exposed to the world, smack dab in the center of the frame.
All of this happened in the space of about three seconds, and by the time I realized what had happened, it was too late. I was frozen like a deer in the headlights.
I had been trying to keep my pregnancy offline. I didn't want my chat to be weird about it. And as I saw the chat pane flying by, the responses were equal parts confused, shocked, and yes, weird about it.
"holy shit when did she get so fat"
"Idiot, she doesn't look fat. It looks more like she's pregnant."
"when did that happen?????"
"get closer pls"
"Congratulations Mil!!"
I didn't know what to say or do. I was tongue tied. Part of me just wanted to cut the stream short. But it's a good thing I didn't, because then I saw what was happening next.
My viewer count was going up. Way up. And that wasn't the only thing. Tips were starting to pour in, too. Within a matter of minutes, my total tips for the stream had doubled.
I took a breath to settle myself and sat back down. Then I cleared my throat.
"Uh, yeah," she said. "Didn't want y'all to find out this way, but yeah. I'm pregnant. Would you believe it's not mine?"
That resulted in a wall of amused emojis. Good start.
"I'm actually surrogating for… a friend of mine," I explained rapidly. "Who I will be respecting the privacy of so do not ask! I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so—"
Then I got another ping. This one was from someone who had sent me a hundred-dollar tip, along with the message "SHOW BELLY PLS".
I didn't have to listen. It was my body, after all, and I wasn't here to show it off. But on the other hand, a hundred bucks was a hundred bucks.
I adjusted my webcam a little bit and scooted back, so that my whole torso was in the frame, and then I rolled my shirt back up over my belly. The chat went nuts once again, and more tips came in.
"Yes, well, ogle me all you want, but I've still got a game to play," I said, giving the camera a big smile. Then I had a thought, and I added, "Anyone who tips… let's say fifty bucks or more by the end of the stream, I'll answer a question for them. Anything you want, just keep it PG-13."
Honestly, I wasn't sure that would work. Fifty bucks was no small change. But a couple minutes later, I got one.
"Yeah, it just recently started kicking. It feels really weird. Like being tickled from the inside. If you look real close you might see it happen again, but no promises. Aw, dangit! Sorbitol. That's what Zorblaxians are allergic to. Let's try this again…"
I streamed for an extra hour that day, and by the end of it, I'd made a whole week's worth of income in a single day. When I shared this with Flo, she almost choked on her drink.
"Seriously? Just because you flashed your bump?"
"I guess so!" I said with a shrug. "What can I say? The internet's full of weirdos. I'm not complaining, though, 'cause I made bank. Dinner on me tonight? I'm craving hot wings."
It had been a nice boost and the hot wings were delicious, but I wasn't counting on that lightning to strike twice. I started streaming the next day and I didn't expect anything to come of it.
It took about five minutes for the first tip with a "show belly" comment to come up, and, well. Never let it be said that I don't give the audience what they want.
By the end of that week, I was positively rolling in it, and I can certainly connect the dots. If people really wanted to see my bump, who was I to deny them? So I went on a shopping spree. I upgraded my streaming setup, including getting a second webcam, and did some quick clothes shopping. That following Monday, I showed up to stream in a crop top with my bump on full display and set a tip goal to unlock a "belly cam" for the remainder of the stream.
I knew I wouldn't have this thing for much longer, so I wanted to milk it for all that it was worth.
~*~
But of course, there was a very definite time limit on it. Not much to tell about that part, really. I won’t share a lot of details here out of respect for my brother's privacy, but I will say that the birth went as smoothly as a birth could go. Honestly, I spent most of it orbiting Planet Epidural and don't remember most of the blessed event. But of course, Martin and Larry were over the moon, and honestly, I was almost as happy to be an auntie.
I will also say that I put my streaming proceeds to good use at the baby shower. What can I say? I'm a big sap.
Anyway, about a week later, I was out with Florence getting celebratory sushi, and it was there that I had a thought.
"Kind of a shame, really," I said, as Flo finished putting away a large maki roll.
"Mmph?"
"For all that I groused about being pregnant, it was one heck of a meal ticket. But that gravy train's pulling out of the station, unfortunately."
"I mean, it might not be as bad as you think," said Florence. "I'm sure you'll retain at least some of them."
I sighed. I didn't want some. It was nice being successful! The waitress had asked me if I wanted to upgrade to the jumbo sushi platter and I didn't hesitate before saying yes!
"Anyway, there's nothing for it," she said with a shrug. "Not unless you want to get pregnant again."
She laughed as she popped another roll into her mouth, but I was thinking. I must have made some kind of face while I was doing, because Florence suddenly looked horrified.
"…Millie. Whatever you're thinking, I guarantee you it's a bad idea."
But the gears were already turning. Because the answer was simple, really. I knew what the secret to my success was. The only question was, what was I willing to do in order to achieve it?
~*~
It turned out the answer to that was "everything". Fun fact: If you've been pregnant before, it's not hard to find work for hire as a surrogate. And if you're offering that service at a substantial discount, it's even easier to find someone willing to hire you to do it. And once the ink was dry on the contract, it was time to make the plan.
Nine months. Just nine months. My fans are going to experience this pregnancy with me every step of the way, up close and personal. And I'm going to positively rake it in. Once that's done, I can rest on my laurels for a bit, maybe do some more normal streaming at a more relaxed pace, just for funsies, 'cause I'll have saved up a nest egg big enough for me to take it easy for years. It was an absolutely flawless plan.
Flo was a bit dubious at first, but she changed her tune pretty quickly when I decided to actually start paying her to do tech support full time.
It was going to be a hell of a year. And all the back pains, stretch marks, and mood swings would absolutely be worth it.
~*~
The first few months were pretty mundane. I announced my second pregnancy on stream the second I knew for sure, of course, but I didn't have much to show off yet. All the same, I was priming the pump. I had rebranded as 'Big Mama Millie', with a whole new set of bespoke graphics and emotes to match. For the most part, I kept up my usual streaming library. It didn't seem to be all that important what I streamed, after all, so I kept on streaming things I liked. But on top of that, I mixed things up every now and then.
The first time I noticed that I was showing, I went right to my computer and started a stream. No games or anything this time, just chatting. I wasn't usually the sort for that kind of stream, but people seemed to like it. Mostly I just talked about the experience.
"…Honestly it wasn't as weird as it was the first time," I said, munching on some spicy chips as I spoke. "Around this time I was having really bad morning sickness, but this time around it wasn't anything like as awful. Just a bit of queasiness, really— Oh, what's that?" I looked at the hefty tip I'd gotten. "Yeah, I honestly don't remember much of the birth. I was on the really good drugs. Wasn't anything like in the movies. Was feeling some cramps one day, then we went to the doctor to check things out and the next thing I knew I was in a hospital gown. Everything was kind of a blur after that."
Anyone who tipped over a certain amount got to ask a really personal question. Anything about the baby's parents was forbidden, but aside from that, I was an open book. Maybe it was a bit parasocial, but it sure kept the tips rolling in, so I was happy to feed those flames a little bit.
"…And I didn't have much milk come in either," I said, giving one of my modestly-sized boobs a poke. "Just a few drops, really. You gotta use it or lose it, it turns out, and I didn't have any interest in using it. And before you ask, no I'm not going to sell it. A girl's got to draw some lines somewhere."
Things held steady for those first few months, as I more or less expected they would. But once I started to get a serious bump? Oh, that's when the fun really started.
~*~
I'd always suspected that the back half of my pregnancy was when the money was really going to start coming in, and boy howdy was I right. I never bothered wearing anything that covered it up. Had to keep people tipping to keep the belly cam on, after all. In between my usual streams, I'd do something to specifically showcase the bump.
On this day, I had a pair of headphones on my bump while I played RadioCruise, and people could vote to see what the next song would be. For the first hour or so of the stream, the baby was fed a steady diet of europop, but then a high roller came in and changed things up to some death metal.
"You know what, I think the little gremlin likes it," I said, as I maneuvered the tunnel of flashing lights. "It's definitely moving around a lot more. No accounting for taste, I suppose. Anyway, keep it- hmm? What do you mean, I've got stretch marks?"
Pausing the game, I looked down at my bump, and sure enough, a cursory examination turned up some faint lines. I let out a heavy sigh.
"Aw, man," I said, grumbling. "I'm gonna have to start a skincare routine. Annoying. I guess I'll have to— hmm? 'How much to lotion up your belly on stream'? …Let's say, 500 in total tips before I finish this playlist and I'll give you weirdos what you want."
Honestly, I was lowballing if anything, but I was in a good mood, and it wasn't long before I hit the goal.
"I'm nothing if not a woman of my word," I said, looking around on my desk. Then I sighed. I really didn't want to get up yet. "Hey Flo, can you bring in the lotion?"
She poked her through the door. "The lavender or the strawberry?"
"Surprise me."
A minute later, Flo came in with the bottle. People immediately started to spam emojis. She wasn't a regular on the stream, but people knew her face and were generally happy to see her, and she knew that anyone who was a creep in her direction would get an instant ban.
"Thanks," I said, taking the bottle. "You're a—"
The little fanfare that indicated a particularly large tip rang out, and I looked at the message that popped up. They had donated two hundred bucks in one go, and the message said "ask Flo to put it on you".
Me and Flo shared a look. Under my breath, I said, "I'll give you half that tip if you do it."
She smirked and upended the bottle of lotion onto my bump. "I've been told by my girlfriend that I have magic hands," she said, as she began to rub it in, and I'm not gonna lie, it felt nice. I wasn't used to anyone's hands on my bump except for mine and my OB-GYN's, and it felt surprisingly good. She took her time with those magic hands of hers, going in slow and steady motions and making sure not to miss a single inch.
"Damn, girl," I said, leaning back in my seat. "How much more do I have to pay you for this to be part of your job description?"
"More than you can afford," she said, with a wink to the camera.
~*~
I was in this for the money. I was honest with myself about that. But I did have some measure of artistic integrity, which meant that I was never going to just phone it in. It would have been incredibly easy for me to just keep up my usual streaming routine, just while being pregnant, but I wanted to mix things up, keep it interesting for folks, even if a good half of my viewers tuned in just to ogle me. I'd like to think that I did a pretty good job of doing just that.
~*~
"Alright, chat, it's time to play… Will It Fit?"
I pushed a button and a generic fanfare played out. I was dressed rather plainly in a tank top and shorts with the bump on full display, and hanging nearby was a number of old outfits.
"We've just hit month seven as of today," I said, turning around from side to side, "and the gremlin just had a pretty serious growth spurt."
I wasn't exaggerating. I was almost as big as I had been when I popped my last one out and my doctor still thought it had a little bit of growing to do. I wasn't particularly happy to hear it, because it was enough of a pain in my ass at this size, but at least I was giving the people what they wanted."So now I'm going to try on some of my old clothes," I said, gesturing at the laden hangers. "Some of them are recent, some I probably should have thrown away years ago. You all are going to guess which ones I can still get into without ripping them. The winners get free subs! Alright, first up…"
The first entry on the list was an old band shirt and faded jeans. I think an ex of mine left it here once and I'd been using it as a sleep shirt for a while. I pulled a changing screen over me — I'd bought this one specifically because it let me cast a nice silhouette — and started to change, making a big show of grunting and groaning as I struggled into the clothes.
I wasn't playing it up as much as I thought I'd need to.
"Alright, chat," I said, stepping out in my new outfit. "Everyone get your final votes in while I see if I can get this one over my belly." And then I grasped the shirt and pulled. My face started to flush from the effort. For a second I thought it was going to get there, but soon my mic picked up the sound of shredding fabric as it came apart at the seams.
"And it looks like outfit number one Will Not Fit! Now for number two…"
I pulled out number two, which included a large flannel shirt.
"This one's for the sapphics in the audience," I said with a wink. "Now, remember, for this one to count as fitting, I have to be able to fasten all but the very bottom button. Ready?"
This one I had higher hopes for. It took a little bit of doing, but I managed to get it all buttoned up with only a little bit of swearing.
"I think this one's gonna hold," I said, showing off the straining shirt. "Looks like this is one point for—"
Then something went pop as a button came off of the shirt with the velocity of a speeding bullet, pinging off of several walls before coming to a stop.
"…Okay, maybe not. That's two points for Will Not Fit. What's next? Ooh, is that my old Radical Princess Miki-Niki cosplay?"
~*~
Surprising nobody more than me, that last one did fit. That particular stream went over well. I think it spawned a couple of memes that are still circulating to this day.
~*~
"What uuuuup, my Millieonaires? Guess where I am?"
I turned my phone around, and what it caught was the most picturesque view I had ever seen in my life. The sky was blue and dotted with puffy clouds, there was a nice breeze, and the ocean stretched out before me, sparkling and gorgeous.
"I've had a lot of requests to stream from outside of my gamer cave, and you know what, you all have been so good to me that I thought why not. So here I am, out for my obligatory beach episode!"
Honestly, this was the best idea ever. I got some fresh air and sunshine and I could write the whole trip off as a business expense.
"Flo's here too, of course. Say hi, Flo!"
I turned the camera to the chair at the side of me, and there was Flo. Since she was even paler than I was, she was sitting under a large beach umbrella and wearing a huge sunhat and a pair of shades that she thought made her look cool. I thought they made her look like a giant bug, but I was too nice to say it. She was drinking something out of a large coconut, and when I addressed her, she waved but didn't turn to look. Officially, she wasn't on the clock today, and she seemed intent on keeping it that way.
"She says hi. And as I promised last week, I bought the swimsuit that got the most votes, and here it is. Enjoy it while it lasts, ya pervs, 'cause I'm probably gonna burn it at the end of the day."
Then I turned the camera onto myself, and I made sure to give my adoring fans an eyeful. What they were seeing was a woman who was eight months and change pregnant, wearing a cow print bikini that went right up to the line of keeping me decent and not a centimeter further. It could not have been further from the sort of thing I'd normally wear — sue me, I'm a one piece girl — but the swimsuit poll had netted me a full day's income on its own, so that was that.
At least chat was enjoying the show, even if I felt like a beached whale.
"Anyway, I'm going to go turn myself into a human submarine and take a dip. I'll be back on tomorrow, continuing my attempt to get every achievement in Solarhill Village. See you all around~"
Then I turned off the phone and fell back, sighing heavily.
"This thing can't get out of me soon enough," I groaned, giving myself a poke. "You hear that, you little gremlin? You're being evicted in six and a half weeks. Start counting the days."
"Honestly, Millie," said Flo, gesturing with her drink. "For all that you've been grousing about it, one would almost think that you're overcompensating for something."
I glared at her and huffed. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
She lifted up her sunglasses and smirked with me. "Admit it, Millie. You don't hate everything about this."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "The hell are you talking about? This bites. Do I need to go down the whole laundry list again? The sooner I can jettison this little stowaway, the better."
Flo just chuckled and put her sunglasses back down. "Uh-huh. So after your stream the other day, when you were checking yourself out in the mirror and cradling your belly, that was just a complete and total fluke, right?"
My cheeks were suddenly flushing in a way that had nothing to do with heat. "You weren't supposed to see that! That was just… I was… I mean, I was just—"
"Complain all you want, Mil," said Florence. "But there's a part of you that likes this. And like it or not, you wear pregnancy well."
The follow-up tirade that had been brewing was abruptly cut off, and I sat there in silence like a slack-jawed yokel for a good minute or two.
"…You really think so?"
Flo didn't say anything in return. She just laid down and went back to enjoying her drink.
I decided that I didn't need to put up with this nonsense. The ocean was calling me.
~*~
Okay, okay. I am willing to admit, under considerable duress, that I wasn't miserable for every waking moment that I was pregnant. There were some times when I could almost admit that I was kind of rocking the bump. But they were few and far between, no matter what Flo tells you.
But I'm sure there's one moment in particular that you've been waiting for me to talk about. I know you have. You've been thinking about it since before I started. And you know what? Fine, that's what I'm here for. But I'm just going to say for the record that if I could have done things differently, I absolutely would have.
So let's talk about the Rainbow Collection charity stream.
~*~
It had been a rough week. My due date had come and gone and now I was just playing the waiting game. My doctor told me that everything looked good and there was no reason I shouldn't expect a safe and complication-free delivery, so there was no reason for me to camp out at the hospital until I was absolutely sure that it was time. I'd had a couple of early contractions but nothing to write home about.
It was around that time I was approached by Rainbow Collection, a charity that raised money for queer kids in need. I was familiar with them and knew that I did good work. They had been sponsoring marathon streams in order to raise money and they wanted me to do one. It's easy to see why. I got a lot of attention. And I ordinarily would have been happy to do it, if I didn't think that I would have been busy having a baby at the time. But that was then, and with nothing to do but wait and labor nowhere in sight, I would just be sitting around on my butt anyway, so I told them I'd do the marathon. It wasn't a particularly stressful one, either. I'd be fine. Even if Flo was being a party pooper about it.
"Are you sure that doing a marathon stream is a good idea right now?" she said, as I got my station set up.
"I don't see why not," I said, adjusting the extra-comfy chair I brought in. "I've done marathons before. What's the issue?"
Flo grumbled and gestured at the issue in question. And… okay, she may have had a point. I was what the experts call "hella pregnant" and I looked like I was smuggling watermelons, especially since the little gremlin had dropped. And I'd been extra hormonal, too. People were already passing around clips of my little gamer rage moment from the prior week, when I realized I'd missed one of the requirements for building the Ultimate Hive in Space Apiary and would have to start from scratch. It was all kind of a blur looking back, but I had let out some truly creative combinations of profanities. I had needed to end the stream early and then go have a nice long bath in order to re-center myself.
I just shrugged. "It'll be fine this time. Besides, I'll be playing Solarhill. I can do that in my sleep."
I was definitely happy that they let me pick the game for the marathon. I was going to be starting from a fresh file and trying to finish the Harvest Festival quest in a single in-game year. I'd done it before, so doing it on stream wouldn't be much harder.
Flo sighed. "Fine. But if I have to drag your stubborn arse to the hospital, I'm never going to let you live it down."
"There will be no arse-dragging required. Scout's honor."
~*~
Unfortunately, that turned out to be entirely right, albeit not quite in the way I was hoping.
~*~
The stream was going better than I expected, honestly. I was eight hours into it, the donations were rolling in, and I was in the zone.
"Thank you so much for your very generous donation, CallipygianKitty! That brings the total for the marathon to over 20,000 dollars raised! Great work, y'all!"
This was met with an appreciative wall of emojis. It was going great. I had all of my regulars plus a lot of folk who'd tuned in just to see the marathon. I think I was setting some kind of new personal record.
"Anyway, I'm not gonna be reading individual donos for a bit," I said, looking back at the game. "'Cause I'm about to do the Cardamom Peninsula subquest, which means I've got a limited window of time to collect all the items I'm gonna need for a year-one perfect festival. That means I've got to go Gamer Mode. But because you've all been so generous, I'll be keeping the Belly Cam on the whole time!"
Even if what they were seeing on the cam wasn't as glamorous as usual — I was wearing a tank top and sweat pants, because I wanted comfort more than anything — they still loved to see it. I was bigger than ever and also a little sore and queasy from being in one place for this long, but it was for a good cause. I'd endured a little discomfort before and I could do it again for a good cause.
"Alright, I'm about to get off the boat… and we're off!"
I felt my focus intensify as my little digital avatar (complete with her own baby bump, thanks to a mod I'd downloaded) skittered about the island, collecting herbs and spices. I'd just had her chug four espresso shots, maxing out her movement speed.
And it was going great! I made good time on the outside of the island which meant that I could have a quick rest and then do the caves. I zoomed in even harder, blocking out everything but the game as I went about it. And I do mean everything.
Such as, to pick an example at random, the cramps in my back that I'd attributed to eight hours in a chair, getting up only to use the bathroom, or the persistent queasy feeling that I assumed was due to consuming nothing but takeout burritos and fruit smoothies for the duration of the stream.
That's the thing about me. For all that I mostly play quote-unquote "casual games", when I get into the zone, almost nothing could bring me back out of it.
The key word in that sentence being "almost".
The turning point of the day happened while I was deep in the Cardamom Caves, trying to catch ten crystal shrimp, widely considered the most annoying part of the whole quest. I had just gotten number nine, and ten was just within my grasp.
"Come on, you little bigger," I said, my brow sweating as I white white-knuckled my controller. "Hold still for just… one… SHIT!"
Then I felt a pain so heavy that I actually dropped my controller and recoiled in my seat. I felt like I was getting a bear hug from an actual bear.
"God.... darnit," I said, managing to catch myself. "Friggin' shrimp got away. Sorry about that, folks, don't know what that was— did I spill my drink?"
Something definitely felt wet, and I didn't realize what it was until I looked back at the belly cam. The crotch of my sweat pants had completely soaked through. I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Had I really just pissed myself in the middle of a charity marathon? I was never going to live that down…
And then I felt another squeezing pain, and I remembered that I'd just relieved myself a few minutes ago, before trying to catch the shrimp. Embarrassment gave way to panic as I had a sinking feeling as to what that could mean.
"Aw, balls," I murmured. "Think I might have to pause the stream for a moment. I've got to—"
I tried to reach for the button, but fell back again, groaning in pain as my muscles spasmed. It was so bad that I couldn't get up.
"Dammit. Flo, can you get the—"
And then I realized that Flo had stepped out for a moment to pick up some fresh batteries. My heart began to race.
I was about to get a king-sized "told you so" from her when she got back, but it wasn't long before I had even more pressing concerns. As the squeezing cramps got stronger and harder, there was no mistaking what was happening. I was in labor.
This didn't make any sense. It was a good ten hours before anything happened last time. Sure, the doctor had told me that things could happen faster the second time, but this fast? Really?
I tried to get up, but my body was too heavy and the pain was too much. There was only one thing it wanted to do right now, and I couldn't stop it.
"Oh, fuck," I said, not caring that Flo wasn't there to filter my language. "I think it's coming…!"
As I said before, I don't remember much of my last time giving birth, but one thing definitely lingered in my mind, and that was the feeling of the little sprog pushing down inside me, telling my body that it wanted out now. That's what I was feeling right now, and I was feeling it harder and faster than before, and without any sort of drugs.
I wanted to say something, do anything, but there was nothing for it. There was only one thing I could do, and so I did that. My body wanted to push, and so I pushed.
That was around the time I started to scream. I could feel the baby moving through my body, stretching me out, and the next thing I knew I could feel my pussy starting to burn as the head started to open me up. I couldn't see what was going on down there, but my webcam sure as hell could. Sure enough, a glance at the Belly Cam revealed my soaked pants, now with a bulge in the crotch.
The thought that entered my mind then and there was that I had chosen both the best and the worst possible day to go commando.
I couldn't think anything through beyond that as I started to push again, gripping the arms of my chair as I bore down, my face red as a beet and soaked with sweat. I was shouting and grunting and yelling all sorts of things as I worked as hard as I could to push the baby down and out. If my doctor or even Flo had been there, they probably would have told me to conserve my energy. But they weren't, and I didn't want to do that. I just wanted this to be over, and so I put everything I had into pushing.
I could feel my lower regions burn and sting as the gremlin started to barrel out of me, and the bulge in my pants got bigger and bigger as the head slipped out, and around that time, enough of my brain cells were functioning to do something. Gritting my teeth, I managed to wriggle out of my pants just enough for me to reach down, and with one last great big push, I could feel it making its way out of me, shooting out right into my waiting hands. I pulled it up to my chest and leaned back, gasping for breath.
I cannot even begin to describe the sheer relief that I felt when it was over. It was borderline orgasmic.
I don't know how long I sat there, basking in that feeling. But eventually, post-baby clarity started to set in, and that was when I realized that I had still been streaming the whole time.
When I looked back, chat was streaming by so fast that I couldn't read it, and the donation tracker had grown by another ten thou.
Looking into the camera, I said the only thing that came to my mind.
"Chat, I don't think I'm gonna get that perfect festival."
~*~
So yeah. That's the story of how I gave birth on stream in front of thousands of viewers. That video is everywhere now, but I wanted to put the story out there from my perspective. After that, I took a good year off before getting back to streaming. And after that…
Well. I'm sure you're wondering why, after all that nonsense, I decided to get pregnant again.
But that, dear chat, is a story for another time.