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It had been two and three days since Feldspar was brought back home. So far, everything was going well. A bit too well.
Back inside the clutches of Dark Bramble, they had often wondered what might happen if they ever found their way home. What would’ve changed in the village? Have there been any new discoveries? New hatchlings? New adventures?
And, most importantly, would their friends even be glad to see them?
Feldspar had spent a lot of time pondering that last question. Maybe, they’d think, the reason nobody had found them yet was because they didn’t want to find them. Feldspar was always running off into dangerous situations. Always needing new supplies and equipment and fuel. Always getting hurt. Maybe they were better off missing, or dead, out there in space.
That was nonsense, obviously. Even Feldspar’s lonely mind knew their friends had never been like that. Hearthians in general weren’t like that. But when nobody had found you after years of that mindnumbing, foggy emptiness, you got some strange ideas.
To say the least, they were glad reality ended up being so far from what they’d imagined. Instead of being invisible and forgotten, they couldn’t get anyone to leave them alone for a second. Especially the other founders. Feldspar wasn’t sure if it was guilt or just plain worry that kept Hornfels, Slate, Gossan and Esker staying as long as they did.
At one point, it had crossed their mind that the only reason they ever left was because there was another Hearthian in a mental state possibly worse than how Feldspar’s isolation had left them. It was a wonder they were acting so normal.
Spending your first launch trapped in a twenty two minute timeloop at the end of the universe. Even a thrill seeker like Feldspar could see that was a bit much. The Hatchling was lucky to have their mind intact after all that. It was almost unbelievable that they’d lasted a week after the Eye before breaking and explaining what had actually happened.
Things were moving forward again. Seeing centipedes, or standing in fog still gave them a horrible sense of deja vu, but that was all it was. Two weeks was rather fresh, but Feldspar was nothing if not forward thinking. They could take it easy. Soon, the whole Dark Bramble experience would be nothing more than a bad dream.
If only they could say the same for the Hatchling. Feldspar wasn’t very observant, but they noticed some telltale quirks that seemed just a smidge off. The way they gagged at the smell of roasted marshmallows, or ignored the other Hearthian’s greetings if they focused on something of importance. Habits that would take a long time to fade, seeing as they’d built up over who knew how long.
“Hey, Feldspar!”
Speaking of the Hatchling…
“Oh, hey there! What brings you here?” Feldspar asked, a hint of curiosity in their voice as they turned from the window they’d been sitting by. The Hatchling stood in the doorframe, nervousness coming off them as they shifted from foot to foot. Their clothes were splashed wet from fishing. Their breath came quickly, like they had run all the way. They were smiling, awkwardly.
“Just wanted to talk. I saw all the other adults setting things up in the forest, and…” They trailed off. Feldspar hummed in understanding. “...Thought it would be nice to have a conversation without anyone concerned listening in?”
They blinked in surprise. “Yeah, pretty much.”
Feldspar beckoned them to come sit down, and they did, pulling up a chair across from them. It was quiet for a bit, as the Hatchling tried to figure out what to say.
“I’ve been having some nightmares lately. Of, uh, of being back in the loops.” They mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of their shirt. “I don’t want anybody to start panicking about me again, especially since everyone has started to act normal.”
A shrug. “I thought you might get it, at least a little.” The Hatchling looked down at the ground, embarrassed and anxious. “You also have a time and place that you don’t want to go back to, right?”
Nightmares… Feldspar knew about those. The fear of it all being fake, of waking up from a vivid dream or hallucination back in the empty depths. Stranded and forgotten and lost. Presumed dead, and never searched for. They had a time and place they didn’t want to go back to, certainly. And the memories and dreams from then were something Feldspar wouldn’t wish on anyone.
“I think I do get it, Hatchling. And Dark Bramble is certainly someplace I’d rather not visit for a little while. But it’s getting easier to believe that time has moved on from that point. With the seasons changing, and every new feeling.”
They let the Hatchling consider their words before continuing. “Y’know, I’m not great at talking about how I feel, or anything serious, really.” Feldspar laughed.
“Looking back on it, if I’d been open about the pressure on me, for new stories about all the cool, amazing things I did, I probably wouldn’t have risked going to Dark Bramble on a damaged ship in the first place!” It was annoying when they’d come to that conclusion, but it definitely motivated them to be a bit more open.
“But trust me on this, if you’re dreaming of horrible things, it means you might be moving forward. That it’ll start just being a bad dream. Nothing more.”
“Is that how it’s been going for you?” The Hatchling asked. Feldspar nodded. “I think so. Don’t take my word for it though, I might be completely in the wrong here.”
“Heh, if you say so. Oh!” They look out the window to see Hal waving frantically. “I completely forgot, me and Hal were going to set up something for tonight! They must’ve been waiting for ages…” The Hatchling spares a guilty glance at Feldspar, who waves them off dismissively. “Go have fun with your friend! We can continue talking another time, if you’d like.”
They nod, and scramble up. “Thanks, Feldspar!” They shout, before disappearing through the doorway yet again. Feldspar shakes their head fondly. It had been a long time since they’d been that distractible and energetic. And it was nice to see the Hatchling still acting like a hatchling. That they hadn’t completely grown up during their time loop.
Outside, Hal is leading them away as they talk in whispers. They were both smiling.
At the Eye, the Hatchling had smiled too. Their smile had been… calm. Accepting. Relieved, even. Ready to give up and accept the end. It was a smile that was painful to see on anyone so young. It was so understanding of the universe. At the time, Feldspar had accepted it, too. That the universe would end without them ever getting home.
Feldspar is looking forward to whatever the two of them have planned for the evening. The fact that there are new evenings pranks can be planned for is a blessing all in itself. But for now, a small rest might be nice. It would be ideal to be at full energy later. Feldspar closes their eyes, and drifts off.
There are no nightmares, this time.