Archive of Our Own

She mentioned it later to Ava and Antonia while the three of them were having coffee in the complex’s kitchen. But to her surprise, neither of them seemed to notice anything strange about Kate’s behavior.

Ava even raised an eyebrow with obvious skepticism. Antonia shrugged, saying that maybe she was just tired, but that in any case she had seen her just as talkative as always. And that was the worst part… she was right. Kate had acted completely normal with everyone. She had talked, joked, and smiled exactly the same as always. Even with her.

It had been just that small change. That tiny detail that, apparently, only Yelena had noticed.

That night, as she tried to fall asleep, Yelena couldn’t help but mull it over again, searching for some explanation. But every theory she came up with was more far-fetched than the last. So in the end, she dismissed them all. Maybe Ava and Antonia were right; maybe Kate had simply been distracted that day.

She forced herself to stop thinking about it. After all, that was exactly what she’d wanted from the start, wasn’t it? Fewer hugs, less talk of feelings, less of that constant attention Kate seemed determined to give her ever since they’d become close.

Or at least that’s what she tried to tell herself until she fell asleep.

However, as the days went by, Kate continued to behave in a way that was strange compared to what she was used to seeing. The hugs were still there, but they weren’t the same anymore. Now they were brief and nowhere near as effusive as before; there was none of that enthusiasm that had once seemed to characterize her when she hugged her.

Yelena didn’t know exactly what had changed, and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

What finally made Yelena frown in genuine confusion, and convinced her that something was truly going on, happened one Thursday.

Thursdays were part of a very specific routine that the two of them had established almost without realizing it. Kate always stopped by the complex before heading to Bishop Security. She’d arrive early, carrying two coffees and a bag of croissants so they could have breakfast together in the kitchen. Always the same routine, always at the same time.

But that Thursday, Yelena got up as usual and went straight to the kitchen, expecting to find Kate there with their shared breakfast. But when she walked in, the only person there was Antonia.

That made her stop.

Ever since she’d met Kate, ever since they’d become close and best friends, as Kate insisted on calling it. The brunette had never missed a Thursday. Not once. More than a year of the same routine, and suddenly, just like that… it had been broken.

She was someone who valued routines too much in most aspects of her life, so she didn’t like this change at all, especially without warning.

That’s why that sudden change gave her a strange feeling that settled in her chest as she stood still in the middle of the empty kitchen.

“Everything okay?” Antonia asked, snapping her out of her daze. It took Yelena a couple of seconds to process the question.

“Yeah… Have you seen Kate?”

“Kate?” Antonia looked up from what she was reading and studied her closely. “Oh, it’s Thursday, isn’t it? No, I haven’t seen her, and I’ve been here for quite a while. Maybe she got stuck in traffic or ran late. You know how it is.” Why don’t you text her?

“Yeah… I will.” But she didn’t. Yelena wasn’t a big fan of technology and didn’t like using phones, but Kate insisted so much that she get one so they could communicate more easily that she eventually gave in. From that moment until now, she’s regretted giving in quite a bit because Kate seems to have no self-control when it comes to texting her.

Although now that she thought about it… she hadn’t received any in days. The thought sent another uncomfortable twinge through his chest.

What was going on with Kate?

Had she had another argument with her mother? Sometimes she acted strangely after fighting with Eleanor. More distracted. More quiet. Should she ask her?

She didn’t have much time to keep thinking about it. Just a few minutes later, they were all called to the conference room to be briefed on a new team mission.

…

Over the next few days, Yelena began to notice other small changes that, taken individually, seemed insignificant. But taken together… they were impossible to ignore, and it was already becoming quite annoying.

Kate was still friendly toward her. She still smiled when she saw her, still asked how training had gone or if the previous week’s mission had been as boring as it seemed in the reports.

However, something about her had changed, and Yelena knew it.

Kate always found some excuse to stay a little longer. It didn’t matter if she had meetings, backlogged work at Bishop Security, or any other commitments; somehow, she always ended up staying late because she’d rather stick around and chat with her for a few more minutes. Now, on the other hand, she seemed to have become strangely more punctual.

Yelena couldn’t even remember the last time they’d had a really long conversation. Well… maybe she was exaggerating a little. They still talked. They still saw each other almost every day. But it wasn’t the same anymore.

Because now, when they said goodbye, Kate would just leave. She didn’t linger a moment longer, leaning against a wall and chatting about some trivial matter. She didn’t even drag out the goodbye unnecessarily, in that endearing way of hers.

Did no one else really seem to notice? It was absurd. To Yelena, it was all too obvious that something was going on with Kate.

Worst of all, that absence started happening again the following week as well. The first time Kate didn’t show up on Thursday, she’d said she had an early meeting at Bishop Security. Yelena could understand that.

The second time, she mentioned some last-minute unexpected issue. What was it? Yelena didn’t know. And although she’d wanted to ask, she ended up convincing herself that she should respect Kate’s privacy.

But the third time… The third time really started to irritate her. Especially because Kate didn’t even try to give her an explanation this time.

And really, it wasn’t just about Thursday coffee. It was everything else. All those little changes that were slowly piling up until they formed something impossible to ignore. And no one else seemed to notice. Or, if they did, they simply didn’t care.

So Yelena stopped bringing it up. And she did what she did best: she buried it all deep inside and pretended it didn’t exist.

She convinced herself that she didn’t care. That, in fact, it was better this way. Now she had more space. More time for herself. Maybe she could even start establishing new routines and stop relying so much on Kate’s constant presence in her daily life.

Besides, it wasn’t as if they had stopped seeing each other entirely. They still had their movie and TV nights once a week, and they continued to work together often enough to talk almost every day.

Kate just didn’t seem determined to give her all her attention anymore. She wasn’t constantly seeking her out, hugging her, or finding absurd excuses to stay by her side a few more minutes. All that over-the-top affection that had once seemed like a natural part of the brunette had diminished until it had become something much more… normal? Yelena didn’t know.

She should feel relieved; after all, she had complained quite a bit about how intense Kate could sometimes be with physical affection. And yet, she wasn’t.

…

The first time she decided to follow her, Yelena didn’t even allow herself to stop and think too much about what she was doing. It simply happened.

She had just finished a particularly boring training session when she spotted Kate crossing the compound parking lot in obvious hurry. And that alone already felt strange. Yelena hadn’t even known Kate was in the building.

Normally, Kate always found a way to let her know she had arrived. Usually through some ridiculous text message or by unexpectedly showing up wherever Yelena happened to be.

But this time she didn’t.

Yelena watched her more closely from a distance. Kate had her phone in hand and a distracted smile on her face, like she was thinking about something. The second she saw Kate get into her car, Yelena grabbed her jacket, her motorcycle keys, and headed out after her without thinking twice.

Following someone without being noticed wasn’t exactly difficult for a former Black Widow. In fact, following Kate turned out to be almost insultingly easy.

Yelena ended up frowning inside her helmet.

She would definitely need to have another conversation with Kate Bishop about that. Because honestly, how exactly was she supposed to survive as an Avenger if she couldn’t even tell when someone was following her?

Kate drove straight to Bishop Security’s offices, a sleek modern building downtown. After Eleanor’s arrest, Kate had officially taken over as CEO of the company while still actively working with the Young Avengers,or, as Yelena insisted on calling them in her head, the baby Avengers.

Yelena kept her distance until she saw Kate disappear inside the building.

She had been there before, though always with Kate. The receptionist probably would have let her through without any trouble. Maria seemed to know everyone and talked far too much for Yelena’s liking, but Yelena liked her anyway.

Still, she decided not to go through the front entrance, even if it would have been easiest. She didn’t want anyone knowing she had been there. Especially not Kate.

So she waited until a small group of employees stepped into the elevator and slipped in behind them unnoticed.

The most concerning part of the whole thing was how absurdly easy it was to infiltrate the building. It was a security company, for God’s sake. She was definitely going to have a serious talk with Kate about two things: paying more attention when traveling and Bishop Security’s security protocols.

From a distance, she watched Kate cross the lobby like she owned the place. Which, technically, she did.

Kate greeted several people on the way before suddenly stopping near one of the side hallways. Then she adjusted her hair slightly and smoothed down the sleeves of her suit.

Yelena narrowed her eyes.

What was she doing?

That was when another woman stepped into view.

She came from one of the side hallways holding a file in her hand. She was tall—though not as tall as Kate, with blonde hair and a confident posture. Her suit was perfectly tailored, and the focused expression on her face shifted the second she saw Kate.

She smiled. And to Yelena’s complete dismay, Kate smiled back immediately. Something inside her twisted, and she hated the feeling instantly.

Part of her wanted to look away and leave. And another part couldn’t stop watching the way Kate smiled at that stranger.

She knew that smile. Just a few days ago, it had been directed at her.

Kate leaned one shoulder against the wall as she kept talking to the woman, standing entirely too close for Yelena’s taste.

And honestly, what exactly could they possibly have to talk about at nine in the morning? They were in an office. Weren’t they supposed to be working?

Yelena had never worked in a company before, but she was fairly certain standing around chatting outside your boss’s office was not something you were supposed to be doing.

Then Yelena had an idea. She pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket and quickly opened Kate’s contact. She hesitated for only a second before typing.

"Dinner and movies tonight."

She hit send and looked back up.

Kate was still there, leaning against the wall, talking to the blonde woman like no one else existed. Smiling as she listened to whatever the woman was saying, relaxed and comfortable.

That unpleasant feeling in Yelena’s chest flared again.

Then a second later, Kate pulled her phone out of her pocket. Yelena watched carefully.

Kate’s smile shifted the second she read the text and started typing. It was a different smile. A familiar one. And before she could stop herself, Yelena found herself smiling a little too.

Her phone vibrated almost immediately.

"Sure. Your turn to choose this time :)"

Yelena felt something inside her relax instantly. A small wave of satisfaction moved through her, warm and completely ridiculous.

She didn’t know who that woman was or what exactly was going on between them. But at the end of the day, Kate still preferred spending Friday nights with her.

Yelena had nothing to worry about.

Holding onto that thought, she left the building.

…

Yelena didn’t follow Kate again after that. Or, at least, not physically.

What she did do, because she clearly couldn’t just sit back and not figure out what was going on, was look into the girl. And it turned out to be pretty easy to find information about her. Apparently, Emma was one of those people who enjoyed laying every aspect of her life bare on the internet. Yelena would never understand that need.

The girl was twenty-four years old and had just graduated. She had worked as an intern at Bishop Security while she was in school, and a little over two months ago, Kate had officially hired her. She came from a family in the same social circle as Kate, played the piano, had two cats, and, according to her social media, seemed unable to go more than a day without posting something about her life.

Yelena would have stopped looking long before if she hadn’t come across one particular post. “Openly lesbian and single… for now”

That was enough research for the day. She closed Instagram immediately after reading it, as if continuing to look would only make that absurd feeling that had been haunting her for days even worse.

However, she couldn’t help but keep connecting the dots.

Emma had been working at the company only slightly longer than Kate had been acting differently toward her. Maybe it was a coincidence. But Yelena didn’t put much stock in coincidences.

She ended up finding a photo from Bishop Security’s anniversary celebration that had been posted a few weeks earlier. And, of course, there were Kate and Emma, sitting side by side. Too close. At least, too close by Yelena’s standards.

Kate was leaning slightly toward her as she smiled, and Emma seemed to be looking at her with too much attention. Yelena recognized that expression immediately. She’d seen enough people in love to know it.

The worst part was realizing the date on the photo. Three weeks ago. Yelena had started noticing that Kate was acting strangely three weeks ago, too. Without giving it much thought, she decided that this Emma was entirely to blame.

Even so, she didn’t understand why this was affecting her so much. And that was the most irritating part of it all. I mean, Kate could date whoever she wanted, that was her business. But why did she have to change her routines?

She couldn’t decide what to do with that information. Should she pretend nothing was happening? Ask Kate directly? Wait for that strange irritation she felt every time she saw Emma’s name pop into her head to go away on its own?

Could she get that Emma fired or make her disappear? It wouldn't be hard; Kate would never realize she had anything to do with it, and everything would go back to normal... no, Yelena couldn't do that. Kate would be disappointed in her if she did. Yelena had promised Kate she wouldn't solve her problems by making people disappear. Frustrated, she closed her laptop and went to bed.

…

As the days went by, the whole Emma situation had become a headache for Yelena. Because even though she told herself she was going to stop thinking about it, she hadn’t really done so.

Worst of all, just a few days after learning of that woman’s existence, Kate showed up at the complex. Which in itself wasn’t strange at all, since their teams often worked together, and her presence was common.

However, Yelena knew it was a day off and wasn’t aware of any scheduled meetings. So there was no real reason for Kate to be at the complex. Except to see her, of course. Because that was exactly what Kate always did when they didn’t have work.

That’s why it seemed strange to her to see her enter the building… and not show up immediately afterward in the training room. Had she gotten confused, and the person she’d seen enter the complex wasn’t Kate? No, Yelena was sure she’d seen her. So why hadn’t she come to see her yet?

Yelena kept pounding the punching bag as she waited to hear the brunette’s hurried footsteps entering the room. But the minutes passed, and Kate never showed up. What did show up, though, was that uncomfortable feeling in her chest again.

Frowning, Yelena finally stopped her workout and left the gym, heading toward the kitchen to refill her water bottle. She definitely wasn’t going to look for Kate.

When she finally spotted her, Kate was leaning against one of the countertops, talking to Bob while holding a folder under her arm. She looked relaxed. At ease. The soft light streaming in through one of the windows outlined her jawline and highlighted the blue of her eyes and…

“Yelena!” Bob greeted her as soon as he saw her walk in. “How was that training session?”

Kate looked up when she heard her, and for a split second, Yelena could have sworn she saw her tense up. But she must have imagined it. Because there was no reason for Kate to be tense around her.

“Hey,” Kate said, with a slight smile.

Just a “hey” without a hug, not even a bigger smile? Yelena clenched her jaw instantly.

“What are you doing here?” It might have sounded a little harsher than she intended, but Yelena wasn’t thinking very clearly anymore.

Kate lifted the folder she was holding slightly.

“Sam asked me to bring some documents for Bucky. Nothing exciting.” Yelena nodded once before walking around the counter and filling her water bottle under the faucet.

Silence settled in for a few seconds. Which was the strangest thing, because whenever they were together, Kate couldn’t stop talking.

Bob looked back and forth between them with a distracted expression as he finished his coffee.

“Well… since today’s our day off,” he said as he set the cup in the sink, “I think I’m going to go back to my room and finish the show I was telling you about, Kate.”

Kate let out a little laugh.

“Don’t you dare spoil it for me. I just started it.” Bob raised his hands in surrender.

“I can’t promise anything.”

He gave them a quick smile before leaving the kitchen. What show were they talking about? And, more importantly… had Kate started a show without her? It was silly. She knew it, but it still annoyed her a little more.

Kate remained silent for a few seconds, running her thumb along the corner of the folder she was still holding.

“I…” she finally began. Yelena closed the bottle cap and looked up.

“Yes?” Kate hesitated for just a moment.

“I wanted to tell you something before I leave.” And there it was again. That uncomfortable feeling in her stomach that had become a constant presence over the past few weeks. Even before that, if she was being precise. But this time it was accompanied by something strange in her chest. A sudden flutter that made her frown slightly. Is she sick?

Kate clutched the folder to her chest.

“I won’t be able to make it this Friday.” It took Yelena a second to process that. Kate spoke again immediately when she didn’t get a response. “You know… our movie night. Something came up and…”

“Okay,” Yelena replied without letting her finish. Emma. The name popped into her head so quickly that it irritated her even more.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. It doesn’t matter.” Her voice came out much colder than she intended.

Kate looked down for a moment, but looked back up almost instantly with a half-smile. But it didn’t move Yelena the way it used to.

“I’ll make it up to you next Friday.” Yelena barely shrugged.

"Whatever you say." Kate didn’t move, but stayed where she was, staring at her in silence. Yelena felt the discomfort start to rise up her neck.

Why didn’t she just leave already?

Did she have something else to say?

Maybe she was going to tell her. Maybe she was going to mention Emma. To tell her that the “commitment” was actually a date. That someone else was taking up her time now. That was why she’d been distant for weeks. That was why she’d stopped showing up in the kitchen on Thursdays, staying longer, hugging her like he used to.

Yelena squeezed the bottle tighter between her fingers. Kate took a barely perceptible step toward her.

“Okay. Then… see you later.” Yelena responded with a brief nod.

Kate held her gaze for another second. Then she turned and walked out of the kitchen.

The sound of her footsteps fading down the hallway was the only thing left in the air. And just a few seconds later, that horrible feeling settled back into Yelena’s chest.

Before she knew it, her body reacted on its own: she took a step toward the door. And then another. As if a part of her wanted to reach it before Kate got too far away.

But when she reached the threshold, Kate was gone; the hallway was empty.

Yelena stood motionless, one hand still clutching the water bottle and the other hanging at her side.

Staring at the door for who knows how long. Trying, without much success, to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions churning inside her.

…

It had been a week since Kate had canceled their movie night. Today was Friday again, and in theory, they were supposed to meet up that afternoon to make up for the date they’d missed the week before. Kate had said they’d work it out and catch up. Nothing had changed.

Yelena tried to tell herself that over and over again throughout the morning. But it wasn’t working.

She’d been restless ever since she woke up. Unable to focus on anything else for more than a few minutes. She checked her phone way too often, even though she knew perfectly well there were no new notifications.

The feeling in her chest wasn’t helping either. That uneasiness that had been with her for so long but had intensified when Kate started acting strangely was now with her almost all the time.

What if Kate canceled their movie night again? What would that mean for their friendship? Did Kate no longer want to be her friend? Did she no longer want to be her friend because she’d found someone else to hang out with who she liked better?

Yelena let out a sharp snort and flopped onto her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling of her room.

She hated feeling this way, and she hated dwelling on it so much. But most of all, she hated how much she wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, before Kate always seemed to have her attention divided.

There was a time when Yelena didn’t need to wonder where Kate was or who she was with, because the brunette was always texting her and updating her on her life. Or she’d show up at the complex and look for her just to chat. She never thought she’d miss that, when she’d previously convinced herself she wanted it to stop.

If Kate was really seeing someone… why hadn’t she told her? Friends were supposed to share that kind of thing. Kate always told her everything. Or at least Yelena had believed she did.

Her phone vibrated on the mattress, just a few inches from her arm. Yelena sat up immediately.

She opened the message as soon as it appeared on the screen.

Hey, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to ask if we could reschedule movie night for another day. Things got complicated again, and I don’t think I’ll make it. How about we do it tomorrow?

Yelena didn’t know how to react at first, but she quickly felt the urge to punch someone. Instead, she simply clenched the phone tightly between her fingers and let out a heavy sigh

For a moment, Yelena considered not responding. Or snapping back at her and demanding to know exactly what had happened that was so urgent it made her cancel their movie night. But in the end, she took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax her shoulders, and replied with a simple thumbs-up.

She was still pretty upset, and since she no longer had to worry about whether Kate would cancel on her or not, she headed straight to the complex’s gym.

…

The sharp sound of each punch filled the empty space as she vented all the frustration she hadn’t been able to release any other way. Lately she’d been spending too much time there—well, more than usual. The punching bag had become a constant presence during those weeks; a simple and effective way to silence the whirlwind of feelings Kate stirred up in her.

“Wow.” Ava’s voice from the entrance snapped her out of her thoughts. “Who are you trying to kill?”

Yelena barely gave her a quick glance before returning to the bag. Maybe, if she ignored her long enough, she’d leave. But knowing Ava, that wasn’t going to happen.

“Who made you so angry?” Ava pressed.

“No one,” she replied without looking at her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of another figure stopping by the door. Antonia. Unlike Ava, she didn’t say anything, but stood there in silence, watching her.

Ava stepped a little closer. Yelena hit the bag again.

“You’re going to break the gym equipment,” Ava remarked, this time more seriously. Yelena let out a short exhale.

“As if Valentina didn’t have enough money to buy a hundred more.” Ava crossed her arms, and before Yelena could land another blow, she grabbed the jacket to stop her.

“This has to do with Bishop, doesn’t it?” Yelena tensed.

“No.” Ava raised an eyebrow.

“Then why aren’t you getting ready to go to her place for your movie date?”

“It’s not a date.” Yelena shot her a sharp look, but Ava didn’t flinch.

“Come on, Yelena. What happened?” Yelena opened her mouth to answer and closed it again.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Nothing important.” Ava let out a short laugh.

“That was even worse.”

Yelena let her arms fall to her sides and stepped away from the coat with a weary sigh. She ended up sitting on the bench by the wall. Maybe talking wasn’t such a bad idea, and they could help her make sense of this whole situation.

“Kate’s… been busy lately.”

“Kate’s always busy,” Ava said, sitting down next to her.

“More than usual.”

Antonia finally crossed the distance between them and sat down on her other side. Yelena fixed her gaze on the floor.

“She canceled movie night again.” Yelena nodded.

“So if I cancel our date,” Ava said. Yelena wasn’t looking at her, but she could have sworn Ava said this with a smile, and Yelena regretted bringing it up.

“They’re not dates. It’s just…” Ava let out a quiet laugh.

“Come on, Yelena. You’re practically dating. Although, apparently, without the fun part.” Yelena frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know, the kissing and…”

“What Ava’s trying to say,” Antonia interjected calmly, “is that it’s normal for you to be upset. And besides, you were right, Kate has been a bit more absent around here.”

Yelena let out a soft sigh because, for the first time, someone was confirming what she’d been thinking for weeks. She hadn’t imagined it. Kate really was acting differently.

And suddenly, the explanation she’d been repeating to herself all week seemed like the only possible one again. Because it made perfect sense. Kate had met someone and wanted to spend time with that person instead of her.

“And you know why, right?” Antonia asked. Yelena clenched her jaw as she nodded.

“Kate met someone.” “Ava let out a strange snort. Yelena didn’t know how to interpret it, and she didn’t like it either.

“What?” she asked immediately. Ava exchanged a quick glance with Antonia.

“Nothing, just that this has just gotten interesting.”

“No. It hasn’t.”

“Oh, yes, it has. Very much so.”

Yelena stood up and went back to the punching bag, landing a sharp blow.

“I don’t care what Kate does with her love life. Or if she’s seeing someone. I just don’t understand why she had to change a whole routine we’d already established.”

This time, Ava let out a laugh.

“Of course you care.”

“No.”

“Yelena.” She turned toward her, irritated.

“What?”

“A few weeks ago, you said you noticed Kate was acting strange because she didn’t hug you like she always does.”

“Because she doesn’t.”

“Then you got upset that she didn’t come over to say hi to you as soon as he arrived at the complex.” Yelena crossed her arms. She really didn’t get her point.

“Yeah.”

“And now you’re upset because he canceled on you again on Fridays.”

“I don’t get your point.” Yelena was already getting exasperated; she literally already knew that and had told them so. Why was she repeating it again?

“That you clearly care about Kate’s love life.” Yelena opened her mouth and closed it again. Ava took a step closer. “You know what the problem is? Kate hasn’t changed with the rest of us.” Yelena frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“That she still treats us the same as always,” Ava continued. “But with you, it was different.” And now… well, now she treats you more like she treats the rest of us. Like friends. Although, to be fair, she still texts you a lot more than any of us.

Yelena stared at her, incredulous. Were they really saying that? Had everyone suddenly decided to gang up on her just to annoy her?

Antonia opened her mouth, trying to intervene. “What we’re trying to say is that...”

“No. Enough,” Yelena cut her off immediately, raising a hand. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve already done my own investigating, and it’s that girl from the company’s fault, Emma. I found out when I followed her. And it’s fine, Kate can do whatever she wants, but it bothers me that…”

“Did you follow Kate?” Antonia interrupts her.

“Yeah, how else was I supposed to know what was going on with her?” Ava lowered her head, visibly frustrated.

“Did it not occur to you, I don’t know, to ask her?” Of course she had thought about it, more than once. But she had no idea how to bring it up. Besides, every time she imagined starting that conversation, she felt a tightness in her chest and ended up dismissing the idea.

Ava touched her arm to get her attention.

“Yelena. Talk to Kate.” Yelena held her gaze for a few seconds.

“And what do I say?”

“The truth.”

“What truth?”

“How you feel.”

“How I feel?”

“Yes. You know… hurt. Jealous and…”

“I’m not jealous,” she interrupted immediately. Ava smiled to herself.

“Of course you are.”

“I’m telling you I’m not.”

“Yelena, you’re upset because Kate might be seeing someone else. You’re jealous because you like her.” Yelena let out an incredulous laugh.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not,” Antonia said. “I’ve never seen you as relaxed as you are when you’re with Kate.” Ava nodded immediately.

“And you can’t stop talking about her, and you let her hug you with zero consequences.”

“That… that doesn’t mean anything.”

“And your whole face changes when you see her.”

“Of course it doesn’t.”

“Yes,” Antonia said in a whisper barely loud enough to hear, but Yelena caught it. “Sometimes you even blush.”

“I don’t…” This was ridiculous. Yelena was not in love with Kate. She wasn’t someone who fell for people easily. And sure, things were different with Kate. She liked Kate. It was easy talking to her; even when she didn’t feel like talking to anyone, she never minded talking to Kate. Besides, she was funny and had an absurdly cute dog.

Of course she liked Kate, but she wasn’t in love with her. She didn’t even know what that was supposed to feel like, and because of that she definitely wasn’t jealous. If it bothered her that Kate might be seeing someone else, it was simply because her whole routine had changed. Because their Fridays weren’t the same anymore. Because Kate was busy. Because… because…

And then every memory she had with Kate came rushing into her mind.

The first time Kate smiled at her and how her heart skipped for no apparent reason. The first time she hugged her and the shiver that ran through her when she felt Kate’s arms around her; intense, sudden… but strangely pleasant. The way her stomach tightened every time she heard her laugh, or when she caught herself staring at her for too long without even realizing it.

How comfortable she always felt around her. Yelena never let her guard down, but with Kate… damn, she had lost count of how many times she had fallen asleep in her apartment, completely vulnerable, without thinking about leaving or paying attention to her surroundings, without worrying about anything. Because it was Kate. Because she trusted her in a way she trusted no one else.

Did she like Kate? Was that it? Was this what being in love felt like? Her heart started pounding too fast, and suddenly the answer felt so obvious it was almost insulting.

Oh no.

How could she have been so stupid? Of course she liked Kate. Probably from the beginning. Long before she had ever let herself think about it. And now… now maybe it was already too late.

“Oh. You figured it out,” Ava said, snapping her out of her thoughts. “So what are you going to do now?”

“I…” Yelena swallowed and took a small step back. “I don’t know. Kate… she already… she’s already seeing someone.”

Ava waved a hand dismissively.

“So what? They’re not officially together, are they?” Yelena didn’t answer. “Besides, it’s pretty obvious Kate likes you.”

Yelena turned toward her so fast her neck almost hurt.

“How do you know?” Ava let out a quiet laugh.

“Come on, Yelena. Kate is incredibly transparent with her feelings. Ever since I met her, I’ve known she’s in love with you.”

Yelena stared at her in confusion. Ava looked irritatingly amused.

“Every time she looks at you, it’s like she’s got hearts in her eyes.” Yelena turned to Antonia, searching for any sign that Ava was exaggerating. Antonia simply nodded calmly.

“I…” She didn’t know how to finish the sentence. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with that information. Ava stepped closer and gave her shoulder a gentle pat.

“Hopeless. Clearly this whole feelings thing is not your specialty.” Yelena shot her a look that normally would have been enough to silence anyone. Ava didn’t seem intimidated. “But don’t worry. We’ll help you win your girl back.”

Yelena opened her mouth and then closed it again. Your girl. Just the thought of it made her heart pound.

It was too much information all at once. She had just realized she was in love with Kate, and that maybe Kate had felt the same way. And now apparently she was supposed to do something about it. Just thinking about it made her stomach twist.

Part of her wanted to laugh. Because she had faced situations infinitely more dangerous without blinking. And yet the mere idea of having an honest conversation with Kate about her feelings made her want to hide in her room and never come out again.

It was ridiculous.

Yelena let out a long sigh and dragged a hand over her face, closing her eyes for a second.

Damn it.

Being in love sucked.