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„Ilya, you’ve not been seen out with a woman in more than two years. Anything you’d like to say about that?“ The journalist held the microphone up to Ilya’s face. They had agreed to have journalists at the first day of hockey summer camp again. This question, however, had not been agreed to.
„Ah, yes, I have been very sneaky. Too quick for you to take pictures. Like Lightning McQueen.“ Cars was one of his favourite comfort movies. Ilya winked and ended the interview.
He knew there would probably be more and more questions and speculations like this coming up, but he was always good at fielding those. In fact, he enjoyed it.
„But what if they ask you again?“ Shane was worried when Ilya had told him about the interview later. He was always worried they might be found out. Ilya hugged him around the middle and pressed a kiss to his neck.
„If they ask me again, I will give silly answer again. Is not a problem.“
„Yeah, but ... what if they ask me a question like that?“
„Then we must practice.“ Ilya grabbed the spatula Shane was holding to flip the burgers in the pan and held it in front of Shane’s face.
„Shane, you gave up perfect woman Rose Landry. Why? What do you have to say about that?“
Ilya grinned and Shane snatched the spatula back from him with a snort.
„Shut up.“
„Nononononono, you must answer correctly. Otherwise we will lose the game.“
„Ilya ...,“ Shane shuffled the burgers around in the pan.
„Try it.“
„Okay.“ Shane held up the spatula. „Uh, Rose and I were just not compatible.“
„Meeeeeeeeeeeeeep. No.“ Ilya made a sound like a quiz show buzzer. „Not compatible means you’re gay. Try something else.“
„I don’t know, Ilya ...,“ Shane hated these situations. Normally, he would just tell the press to keep the questions about the game.
„I will not comment on my private life.“
„Eeeeeeeeep. No. Boooring.“ Ilya moved up the spatula closer to Shane’s face, even though Shane’s hand was still on it. Shane tried to get away from it.
„I ...,“ Shane tried again. „She lives in LA and our schedules just didn’t work.“
„Ugh, okay, whatever.“ Ilya gave up and allowed Shane to return the spatula to its rightful purpose.
***
„Ilya, can we do a Q&A for Pride Week?“ Harris bounced up to him in full puppy mode.
„Another one?“ Ilya tried to sound affronted. „I already answered all of your boring questions in Q&A last year.“
„That was way too long ago. You know people’s attention span is short. Come on!“ Harris put on his best please-please-face.
„Harris, that look may work on Troy but not on me.“
„I will buy Anya a special toy.“
„I will not succumb to bribery.“
„I will gift you with ten bottles of cider.“
„Damnit.“ Ilya rolled his eyes. Harris‘ sisters made reeeeeeaaaally good cider. And Shane loved it. For him it was somewhere between ginger ale and beer and therefore drinkable in the off-season and he liked it better than beer.
„Okay.“ Ilya caved.
„Great. I’m just gonna set things up and you can sit yourself down comfortably.“
Ilya purposefully flung himself down on the couch in Harris‘ office and spread his legs obscenely wide.
„Ilya.“ Harris‘ voice was gently scolding. The same voice he used on puppies that misbehaved.
„Sit up properly.“
„Fine, whatever.“ Ilya tried looking disinterested but failed. He got up from the couch and moved over to the bar stool Harris had set up especially for these social media videos. It was tall, so even the hockey players could sit comfortably and not look squashed on camera and he had put a nice background behind it with the team logo on.
„Don’t be a baby.“ Harris pointed a finger at him. Ilya stuck out his tongue.
„Okay, we are here today with Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Ottawa Centaurs. First question for you Ilya.“ Harris consulted his questionnaire. „What are your thoughts on Pride Week in Ottawa?“
„Is good example for everyone, no? We always have huge blast, fun games against shitty teams and BBQ until late at night.“
„Yes, but what does it really mean in terms of visibility and progress for LGBTQ+ players in the league and in the country?“
„I think is still difficult, no matter how many Pride Weeks we have. Pride tape on our sticks does not fix the issue.“
„Okay, yeah. I think you‘re right.“ Harris nodded. „What would fix the issue in your opinion?“
„It has to come from everyone. Players, audience, managers. More tolerance, more inclusion, more diversity, more acceptance and more bravery.“
„You are part-taking in very inclusive hockey camps in the off-season with Shane Hollander. Is that a step towards it do you think?“ Harris was now leaving his questionnaire and that was always dangerous territory. Like quicksand off the beaten path.
„I do my bit.“ Ilya smirked. „Even though is very annoying, yes?“
„Annoying in what way?“
„Ugh, we have to be nice to journalists who ask stupid questions and Hayden Pike.“
„Are you an ally?“
„An ally?“ Ilya asked back. He knew what it meant, but he couldn’t seem too knowledgable right now. This was still dangerous territory.
„A supporter of queer rights?“
„Oh yes. I support that very much. Everyone’s rights. Yes. Everyone should have the right to kiss. Kissing is good. Sex, too. What does it matter if queer or not?“
„You have a team member on your team who is in the queer community. Does that make it easier to be an ally?“
„Oh, our team is very ... allied. We all support each other in life. And maybe there is more than just one team member who is queer, no? We force no one to come out, we also force no one to stay in closet if they don’t want to.“
„What is your take on Russian laws against homosexual propaganda?“
„I think it is never right to tell people who they can love and who they can’t. It is private matter, yes?“
„There is still a lot of homophobia surrounding professional sports, especially hockey. What do you think needs to change there?“
„Hockey is sport for tough guys. Only real men can play hockey. If I look at my team mates pecs in the shower I will automatically lose my ability to shoot goals. Is true.“
Harris chuckled. This guy was the worst.
„One last question. If there were rumours flying around on the internet about one of your team mates being gay, what would you say to that?“
„I would be very happy for that team mate. He can look at all of us hot men in the showers for free. No charge.“
Harris snorted into the microphone. Oh man.
„Yeah, okay. Thanks, Ilya. That was ... um ... great.“ He giggled and Ilya stuck out his tongue again.
„Okay.“
„And by great I meant, that I can probably use none of it for our official Pride Week Video.“
„Why? Was I not good?“
„No, you were great. I just ... I don’t want you getting in trouble for being ... cheeky.“
„Cheeky? Is like Cocky? Cause I am cocky. I have been told.“ By Shane. Lots of times. Ilya liked being called cocky. He has a very good cock.
„No, I just don’t want people asking you uncomfortable questions, like in the summer in that interview.“
„Oh no, is not uncomfortable. I know I don’t go out anymore. Other people noticed. They asked. Is okay. I like to stay in now.“
„Yeah, okay, I feel like that’s also gonna be a bad wording choice for Pride Week.“ Harris shook his head grinning.
„Hm, not if I stay in with hot guy, no?“
Harris‘ head shot up. What the ...?
„What?“ He managed, feeling a flush color his cheeks.
„Oh Harris, don’t stress yourself, I like to make jokes, okay?“ Ilya got up from the chair and grabbed his coat with one hand.
„Oh, okay.“ Harris tried not to let himself be rattled by this guy.
„And thank you for the cider. My boyfriend likes it very much.“ Ilya winked and then left. Harris stared after him. You never knew whether this guy was serious or not. Sheesh.
„Shane, Shane, this year’s Pride Game is against the Ottawa Centaurs. Is that a special game for you?“ The journalist held up his microphone to Shane’s face.
„I support Pride Week and every team that is willing to take part in it.“ Bland bland bland. Shane repeated his mantra.
„I mean, you will be playing against Ilya Rozanov, whom you are coaching hockey summer camps with and who you’ve become friends with.“
„I play against Ilya in regular season games, too. This is nothing special.“
„There are rumours flying around on the internet that Ilya Rozanov has not been seen with a woman in more than two years and has not been back to Russia for almost as long. His home country is notorious for being dangerous for members of the LGBTQ community.“
„I do not look at rumours on the internet. There are people who have nothing better to do with their lives than spread lies and pry into other people’s lives. As far as I am aware, Ilya has not been back to Russia because he has no more family there that he cares to visit.“
„Are you a supporter of gay rights?“
„I support everyone’s rights. As long as they don’t interfere or curb other people’s lives and their happiness.“
„Would you consider yourself a member of the LGBTQ community?“
„Do you have any more sports related questions? Otherwise, I think we’re done here.“
„Well done.“ Caivan, the Metros social media manager, nodded to Shane. Shane was still gritting his teeth and couldn’t answer. He drove home with gritted teeth. Gods, why was this so hard? He had to speak to Ilya. This instant. But Ilya had a game tonight and wouldn’t be home for another two hours at least.
He called his mom.
„Hey honey, how are you?“ Yuna sounded as if she was typing something at the same time. Hopefully not another brand deal. Shane felt as if he had enough of those to last him a lifetime.
„I don’t know.“ Shane sighed. „Not so good.“
„What’s up, honey? Is Ilya okay?“
„Yes, he’s okay.“ Shane rolled his eyes. Great. Now his mom always thought of Ilya first when Shane called in a bad mood. „I just had a stupid interview, I don’t know.“
„What happened?“ Now at least it sounded as if he had his mother’s full attention.
„The guy just kept asking stupid questions. I don’t know. I mean, not stupid, just ... intrusive. Kind of.“
„Intrusive?“ She prompted him.
„Yeah, I mean, about Pride Week and that was okay. But then he asked about Ilya ... you know ... about how he has stopped going out clubbing and stuff ... picking up and stuff. Ugh.“ Shane rubbed his forehead. He hated talking to his mom about Ilya’s past life as a playboy. It was still utterly embarassing.
„You don’t need to answer any questions about Ilya, honey. You know that. He is very good at fielding those himself.“
„Yeah, I know. I just ... he asked whether I was a member of the queer community.“ Shane sighed.
He wanted to support LGBTQ rights and that meant really, that he should come out. He should stand up for himself. And for everyone in the community. Hiding this was almost like ... like a betrayal of everything he really wanted to achieve. He wanted the league to be more inclusive. He wanted other players to feel safe to come out. He wanted to be a role model. But he also ... didn’t want to have to come out. It was just utter shit.
„Honey, you are not required to come out. No one is. You are perfectly entitled to privacy. Okay?“
„I know. It’s just like ... I feel that I should. Especially with Pride Week and everything. I mean, I wear the jersey and I put rainbow tape on and everything and then ... I lie to everyone. I hate that.“
„You’re not lying, honey. You are not required to ...“ She couldn’t finish her sentence.
„MOM, it is lying! If people ask me about being gay and I tell them some random bullshit, then it is exactly like lying.“ He had done it to his parents for years. He would know.
„Then don’t lie. Tell them you’re gay. We can make a written statement. You don’t have to say it in front of a camera.“
„I don’t know.“ Shane was so tired of this. Why couldn’t it just be easy? He should have become a figure skater. Then everyone would have assumed he was gay anyway. Ugh. Now he was being homosexualist. Was that even a word?
„I’ll think about it.“ Shane told his mom. And he probably would. He would probably overthink about it.
***
„Ilya, hey baby. How are you? Did the game go well?“ Shane had called Ilya as soon as the other team had hit their hotel rooms in Detroit.
„You didn’t watch it?“
„Of course I did. I just wanted to know how it was for you?“
„I scored three goals.“
„That was bloody impressive.“
„I fielded a question about you being voted hottest player in the league three years in a row.“
„Shut up.“ Shane huffed a laugh. „Really?“
„No.“
„A journalist asked me after the game why you didn’t go out with women anymore.“
„What did you tell him? Did you tell what we practised?“ They had indeed, after the first rather unsuccessful attempt, practised a few more rounds of deflecting journalist questions about their sexuality.
„I told him that I didn’t look at what people wrote on the internet and the reason for you not returning to Russia was that you had no family there anymore.“
„That was a good answer. Very Shane Hollander. Is okay baby.“
„I know ... it’s just ... I feel like I’m lying everytime I answer a question evasively like that, you know?“
„Well, that is the point, no? Or do you want to tell the truth?“
„I don’t know ... maybe.“ Shane heaved a sigh. „I don’t really feel like lying about you, you know? I love you.“
„Mh, I love you too moy varóbushik.“
„What is that?“
„My little sparrow.“
„I literally weigh a hundred and eighty pounds.“
„My little chubby sparrow.“
„Fuck off.“
„Do you want to tell everyone?“
„I don’t know, maybe.“
„Why don’t you try like I do? I tell them everything without telling them anything.“
„Okay, yeah, but I don’t know if I can actually do that.“
„Try it next time.“
„Okay. I wanna jerk off now. So, good night.“
„SHANE HOLLANDER!“ Ilya almost shouted down the phone.
„What? You wanna join in?“ He grinned cheekily down the phone. He had been getting better at this over the years.
***
„That‘s a ring.“ Hayes pointed at Ilya’s naked chest. Well, more precisely at his necklace.
„Oh my god!“ Ilya sounded disgusted. „How did that get there? Ugh.“
Hayes rolled his eyes.
„You really are a hoot.“ He deadpannned.
„I know. I am very funny guy.“ He winked at Hayes.
„So, are you going to introduce us?“
„Okei.“ Ilya overemphasized his accent. „Ring, this is Wyatt Hayes, our goalie. Goalie, this is ring.“
„Asshole.“ Hayes turned away laughing.
„Come on, Ilya.“ Nick Chouinard called from across the locker room. „Everyone and their mother has seen you wearing that. Why don’t you tell us about her?“
„About who?“
„Roz. Come on.“ Bood chimed in. „We are not bad guys. Nothing to be afraid of.“ By now everyone in the locker room was listening in.
„I am not afraid of anything. Except maybe vet visits with sick dog.“
„Then tell us!“ Dykstra gestured his hand towards Ilya’s chest where the ring hung clearly visible.
„I am engaged.“
There were whoops and hollers and some banging of equipment against the walls of the locker room. But there were also some shouts of „Who is she?“ and „Tell us everything!“
„Congratulations, man!“ Hayes clapped a hand on his shoulder.
„Thank you. I am very lucky man.“
„You’ve never told us anything. We didn’t even know you were seeing someone?“ Bood nudged his shoulder.
Ilya flipped his shirt the right way round for putting it on. He looked up and met Troy’s eyes. Troy just nodded. Ilya took a deep breath.
„I am very lucky man, because wonderful person has agreed to marry me, even though I am asshole.“
„You’re not an asshole!“ Luca sounded totally affronted and then clapped a hand over his mouth.
„Thank you, Luca. If this doesn’t work out, I will marry you instead.“
Luca flushed bright red.
„Tell us then.“ Evan gestured for everyone to be quiet.
„Okay. I will tell you. But you must promise not to put it on the internet or tell other people. We are close to making official statement, but we want to do it ourselves. Not with other people sneaking on us.“
„We promise!“ Hayes led the vows and everyone on the team joined in.
„I am marrying Shane Hollander.“
„Fuck off.“ Chouinard waved a hand and turned away slightly. „Stop joking. Tell us for real, man!“ He pleaded with Roz.
„Is for real.“ Roz touched a hand to the ring on his chest. His voice was now very serious. And everyone seemed to notice the change. The whole room went very quiet. Roz looked around and there were quite a few very stupid looking faces. He almost cracked up. It was so funny. Everyone staring at him like cows staring at a pole dancer.
„You ... are marrying Shane Hollander?“ Bood finally managed.
„Yes. We are very in love, no? That is when you marry.“
„THE Shane Hollander?“
„How many Shane Hollander’s are there?“ Ilya stopped rubbing his ring and raised both arms in query.
„For real?“ Hayes looked around at the others and his eyes landed on Troy. There was a small smile on his lips and he didn’t look surprised at all.
„Did you know?“ He asked Troy.
„Kinda.“
„Kinda?“ Hayes repeated.
„Well, Ilya told me he was bisexual and from there it was just batting in the walk-off home run, right?“
„You gotta bring him to the next team BBQ.“ Hayes shook his head grinning.
„Yeah, man!“ Bood chimed in. „We gotta meet him. I mean, like, in real life.“
„Oh, hockey is not real life?“ Ilya grinned at his team mates who were now already making plans for when the next BBQ could take place.
***
„Ilya, Ilya, a question from the fans. There is a very clear outline of a ring that can be seen on your necklace underneath your under armour recently. Any comments on that?“
„Yes.“
„And?“
„Is a ring. Very good eyes.“
„Can we ask who the ring is from?“
„From my fiancé.“ Shane had explained to him that the word fiancé was pronounced identically no matter the gender. Very useful.
„Does that mean you will be getting married?“
„I think that is what a that means, but my english is not very good. Maybe you can help?“
There was a smattering of laughter around Ilya and he soaked it up gratefully. Shane had often complimented him on being able to make jokes in a language that wasn’t even his mother tongue. And Ilya had been very proud. Back when he was young, he had put a lot of effort into learning english. He knew it would be necessary, but after he had met Shane for the first time he had been extra motivated.
„Congratulations then, Ilya.“
„Thank you.“
That was a relatively easy one. He wondered how Shane was getting on after his game.
„Shane!“ The journalists were almost fighting for the best spot in front of him. This was almost never the case.
„Shane. Ilya Rozanov just gave an interview after his game in Detroit and confirmed that he was engaged to be married. What do you have to say about that?“
„Er, congratulations, I guess.“
„Did you know this was happening. You are firm friends now.“
„Yes.“ Oh, Ilya was right. This WAS fun.
„Do you know the lucky lady?“
„Not at all.“
„He never mentioned that he was getting engaged?“
„He never shuts up about it.“
„But you have never met his fiancée?“
„Sometimes I feel like I still don’t really know his fiancé at all.“
„Will you be invited to the wedding?“
„Oh, I really hope so.“
„Are you jealous?“
„Jealous? Of what?“
„There have been rumours on the internet that you are harboring a bit of a crush on your former rival.“
„Okay.“
„Do you want to adress these rumours?“ The journalist held the microphone closer to him and Shane hesitated for a moment. This was his chance.
„All I can say about these rumours is that people on the internet don’t know me. They don’t know my feelings. They only see a small portion of me through my job and these interviews. But I can confirm that Ilya Rozanov is very hot and definitely on my to-do list. If he wants to be.“
He stopped the interview there and went back to his stall. Phew. That was a little too forward. Especially for him.
„Here, this one. This is a good one.“ Ilya held up his phone to let Shane see the tweet he was referring to.
Shane Hollander putting Ilya Rozanov on his to-do list is making my panties vibrate.
Shane put a hand over his eyes. Oh my God. He wished he’d never said that. But it had been in the heat of the moment and he was bad at ad-libbing.
„And this one. I like this.“ Ilya showed him another.
Ilya should kiss his fiancée good bye because who can compete with Shane Hollander #totalbabe
Ilya kissed Shane on the jaw. "Mh, I really should write them back."
„NO!“ Shane put a hand over the phone. „Ilya, you cannot engage with these people. They’ll go feral.“
„Ugh, but I want to.“
„Then you’ll have to make a fake account for that.“
„But what is the point of a fake account? Then they will not know it is me.“
„Well, they shouldn’t know that it is you.“
„But I want to brag about you. You are the hottest guy EVER!“ Ilya was now kissing up Shane’s jaw and onto his cheek.
„Says you.“
„Mh.“ Ilya tried leaning over Shane and pushing aside the phone in favour of sex. But Shane put a hand on his chest.
„Promise me not to engage with these people.“
„They are nice people. They want us to be together. I want us to be together. Our goals are ... what did you say? Aligned.“
„You remember that?“ Shane was now putting his phone aside and wrapping his arms around Ilya who was now lying fully on top of him.
„Of course. I remember ... well okay, most things. Not everything.“
„What have you forgotten?“
„I don’t know what I’ve forgotten Shane. That is the point.“
„You are the worst.“
Ilya started kissing him for real and the Twitter feed was forgotten as well.
The next morning, Ilya grabbed the phone again and wrote a short message to the last person who had commented on Shane’s interview yesterday.
I have managed to cross off every item on my to-do list last night. Success.
There, that was vague enough.
It wasn’t.
The internet flipped the tables.
Trending #ShaneHollandergotdone
Trending #IlyadoesShane
Trending #FuckHollandercrossedofflist
Ilya tried to keep Shane off the phone for as long as possible that morning but in the end he had to tell him about it. Shane buried himself under the blankets and refused to come out for half an hour.
„Okay, so I made a mistake. Is not bad. They know nothing for sure.“ Ilya tried to pry the duvet away from Shane’s face.
„Ilya, they LITERALLY think you did me last night.“
„Well ... they’re not wrong, soooo ...,“ Ilya made a little thinky-face.
„Ugh, you are the worst.“ Shane shoved at him with one hand.
„Is not so bad. We wanted to tell everyone, anyway.“
„Ugh.“ Shane repeated.
„We could tell them now?“ Ilya smoothed a hand over Shane’s chest.
Shane looked at him.
„We could, couldn’t we?“
„They will not let this go anyway.“ Ilya shrugged.
„Okay.“ Shane nodded.
„Okay?“ Ilya smiled at him.
Shane nodded again. „Okay.“
Ilya smacked a kiss on his lips and then fumbled for the phone on the nightstand.
People on the internet (and everyone we know in real life)!
The rumours are true!
I, Ilya Rozanov, am making an official statement. I am the luckiest man alive! Snagged myself the hottest man in MLH. We are getting married in the summer and you can all fuck off. Okay, my fiancé says I cannot say that. So actually you are all invited. Okay, apparently that is also not the case. Whatever. I am happy and will become Canadian citizen soon, so I can enjoy poutine and doing crossword puzzles.
Here is picture of us, so you can all be jealous of how hot we are!
(picture attached of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov sitting on the grass next to each other with a wooden cottage in the background)