Chapter Text
Gabby rubbed her eyes and checked the time as she woke up—two minutes before her alarm would go off—as she did most days.
Her mornings were a time of peace and productivity. They were precious to a woman who often worked late nights, and enjoyed even later nights out with her friends. Mornings were her time to center herself.
Before she was even fully awake, she was out of bed. Her bed was a sanctuary: only to be used for sleeping and other bed related activities. Which, it had been a while for Gabby, but that was fine. Nothing like kicking a person out of her bed so she could go workout before the sun even rose.
The trick for early morning workouts, she learned long ago, was to prep as much as she could the night before and not give herself the chance to change her mind. She got dressed, grabbed her water bottle, and was out the door before she could fully process the time.
Oh, and she could never, ever forget her headphones. That was a recipe for disaster.
Gabby walked into the gym, waving at the receptionist. She loved getting to be a regular at places. A small connection in this big world meant a lot to Gabby these days.
So did using her favorite stair stepper. She had to finish her audiobook—the one about the geopolitical climate and the impact of mining in the Congo—before it was due back at the library, so no workout class today. Instead, she saw how much time she had left on her book, set the timer on the machine, and climbed.
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It was just past 7 by the time she walked back into her apartment. Grabbing a protein shake, she paused at her window. It was a gorgeous view: the bay, the bridge, the way the morning light was reflecting off of both. She shook her head. Gabby needed to get moving or she was going to be late. She had never been late before and wasn't going to start now. She hopped in the shower, washing the gym away.
She took her time getting ready. Every morning was walking a tightrope. Her hair and make-up and clothes were her armor; if she wavered too far in one direction, people would talk.
That was the last thing Gabby wanted.
She looked at her calendar to get a sense of what it was going to look like. Meetings with clients, meetings with coworkers, meeting with her boss. She took a deep breath upon reading that last meeting on her schedule. The rumor on the floor was that Gabby was going to be assigned an important case—even working with someone from a different firm. She needed to feel as confident as she looked. The firm still felt like a boys club most days. Gabby had to work hard to prove to her boss that she was ready for something of this magnitude. She looked at herself in the mirror, straightened her shoulders, and knew it was true. I can do this.
She walked out the door.
Her commute was a 15 minute walk and even that time was used for productivity's sake. She looked at her phone to see several unanswered messages, all from the group chat with the girls.
Hannah: Have a good day everyone! Love you!
Stacy: You too, Hannah!
Bex: ugh stop y'all! i have a reputation to uphold
Bex: i love you too!
Hannah: Bex, your reputation is that you are our most lovey friend. Keep trying though, girl
Bex: no need to out me like this so early in the morning hannah
Stacy: Sorry Bex, she's right. You do need to be called out. Any plans tonight?
Gabby grinned while reading the messages.
Gabby: hey girls! love you lots. go kick ass today. and tbd on plans. bex? ideas?
Before she put her phone away, she opened instagram. Her commute was the time she had for her most steady communication, and, much like Bex, she also had a reputation to uphold.
She saw Ryan's story, the flyer for the new show he choreographed. She liked it, making a note to talk to him about it later. He had to be excited. She scrolled to see Taylor had posted photos from a trip she just took. When was the last time I had a vacation? she thought while swiping through the photos. It had been years. She liked the post, then went to the comments. so fun, tay! can't wait to hear about it! She quickly closed out of the app, trying to dissipate the feeling in her chest. Nothing like the distraction of a breakfast sandwich to do exactly that.
She walked into her favorite bakery, grabbed her usual, and headed into work.
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Sharing small glances with Bex was the only relief Gabby had all day. Back to back meetings weren't anything new for her, but that didn't make them easier to deal with. Thank god she and Bex worked on the same floor. She didn't want to think about how boring her days would be without their eye contact whenever somebody said something stupid.
Which, was constant, honestly.
Gabby walked out of Gerald's office—the last thing on her to do list for the day—floating. Or, at least, she felt she was floating. Bex clocked it immediately
"Your meeting with Gerald went well, I assume?" Bex said as soon as Gabby was within earshot. Clearly, Bex couldn't wait to hear about it. Gabby couldn't contain her smile, but she didn't say much about the meeting.
"You could say that," she said, refusing to elaborate further.
"Ugh, whatever girl." Bex waved her hand away from Gabby's bullshit, smiling. "We should celebrate later this week! I'll come up with something, okay?"
Gabby nodded. "That sounds fantastic, Bex. And, since that meeting went faster than expected, I might actually get out of here on time today!" It wasn't her fault that work took up so much of her time.
Bex looked at her, then the clock on the wall, then back to her.
"Gabs. It's already past 5."
Gabby whipped around to see that she was right. "Well. It's before 6 and for me, that feels early at this point."
Bex shook her head. "We have to get you out of here while we still have the chance. Quick! RUN!" she whisper yelled in Gabby's direction.
"Yeah, I can't run at this point. The stair master kicked my ass today, and I'm so ready to be out of these heels."
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As a treat for herself, Gabby grabbed her favorite curry from a place a little outside of her normal walk home. But, she absolutely deserved it! That work project was going to be a big deal for everyone at the firm. Gabby had to do herself, and the firm, justice while working on it.
She let out a sigh of relief as she made her way back to her apartment.
Home, finally.
Placing the to-go bag down on her coffee table, careful to avoid the stack of files she had yet to move, she lit a few candles and sank into her couch. She tried to avoid thinking about work—compartmentalizing, as her meditation app tried to get her to do—but she couldn't help it. She had so much to prep for.
To try and get her mind off of it, she turned on some comfort show she typically left on for background noise and dug into her food. It had been a good day, but a long one. She was excited to drift off to sleep, toes curling into her soft, white sheets.
Gabby cleaned up her dinner, making sure to take the trash out that night, so she didn't have to worry about it later. She got into her pajamas—dirty clothes obviously making their way to her hamper—and got into bed. She thought about doing a workout class tomorrow since she didn't have an audiobook to listen to. Pilates? Maybe barre? That could be fun. Finally, she made sure her alarm was set, not that she needed it.
It wasn't until she was in that in-between place of asleep and awake that a heavy feeling settled over her. Her life looked perfect. It was everything that she was taught success looked like. It was everything she had hoped for growing up. Everything felt fine enough. Why the weird feeling? Didn't she like her life?
She drifted off before coming up with any answers, and, upon waking up the next morning, forgot she thought the question at all.
Instead, she rolled out of bed and got ready for her barre class.