Work Text:
Jack hated to bother his allies. Not for any kindly reason, but that they bored him, and he had more important things he could be doing. But all three of them got pissy if he didn’t keep them updated on matters, especially what he now had to tell them: Pride had sent out spies. Wrath was the one that had found the first of them, and it had taken the pair of them an hour to figure out anything about the spy, considering that Wrath had flayed them and then commissioned a mosaic with pieces of their skull before Jack had arrived.
Envy was wide awake when Jack had told him, which was disappointing, but not surprising. Envy was quite the insomniac, overthinking and underperforming during the day, and pretending things were perfect in the night. Wrath was of course awake, but her sleeping schedule varied between ‘practically dead’ and ‘would be woken by breathing too loud,’ so she wasn’t always much of a source of amusement. Greed, however, slept like he was hibernating for the winter.
Jack dropped down onto Greed’s balcony, not able to see through the thick blackout blinds that Greed employed to keep all potential light out of his bedroom. Jack jammed his claws into the window’s crack, ripping the lock apart. Jack lifted the window and peeked around the side of the blinds. He heard Greed before he saw him, snoring loudly. Jack hooked his fingers into the chord of the blinds, pulling them upwards until a sliver of light hit the bed, touching Greed’s arm. Greed’s eyes snapped open with a shriek, shuffling backwards away from the light and cradling his forearm. Jack leapt from the windowsill to the edge of Greed’s bed like something feline, further disorienting the vampire.
“UNHOLY SHIT! WHO- WHAT-“ Greed looked around frantically, eyes locking onto Jack. “WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!”
Jack put his hand over Greed’s mouth, pressing his head against the backboard of his bed and muffling his screaming. He ignored the wave of disgust that shot through him at the contact.
“Shut up.” He snapped. “Stop alerting people. Do you want me to open the blinds all the way?”
Greed shook his head, eyes narrowed in anger. Jack rather liked having his allies at his mercy, and having them know that they were in that position. He had Excalibur at his hip, too, but he doubted he needed to use it.
Jack felt something wet touch his hand, and he flinched away with a snarl, holding his hand in disgust. His ears twitched backwards, teeth bared. Greed licked his lips.
“Did you just lick my hand?” Jack demanded, furious.
“Did you just try to smother me?” Greed replied. “There’s your answer.”
Jack hissed, fangs sliding into place in his gums. Greed snarled in response, curling his upper lip. Greed did not wear his jewellery to bed, and Jack had half a mind to jam his claws through the holes in Greed’s ears where hoops would sit, and see how he liked it when he was covered in bodily fluids from whatever cuts resulted. Instead, he settled for slamming Greed’s head into the backboard again.
Greed yelped, holding his head in his hands. “Ow…”
“Don’t touch me again.” Jack narrowed his eyes, pupils thinly slitted.
“Hell’s sake, I wouldn’t be touching you if you hadn’t burnt my arm and landed on my bed.” Greed growled out through gritted teeth. “Do you know how long these injuries take to heal?”
“You think I don’t know how your kind reacts to light? I’ve pushed plenty of you into the sun.”
Greed looked at him like he’d grown a second head. Jack didn’t care for his allies’ reactions of horror and disgust. In fact, sometimes it was rather funny to watch them shift uncomfortably. It was a breath of fresh air talking to Wrath, who laughed and mocked his victims rather than sat there looking ill, but equally, it was a small pleasure to unsettle any vampires he was forced to work with.
“…What the Hell do you want, creep?” Greed questioned roughly.
“I have a warning for you.” Jack said, pulling his arms up from his cat-like stance to rest them on his knees and straighten his back. Greed winced as something in Jack’s spine popped when he moved.
The vampire ran his hand up his face and to the back of his head with a sigh, adrenaline clearly wearing off to make way for the exhaustion of being woken by pain.
“Fine, fine. What is it?”
“Wrath’s found a spy. Maybe she’s found more since telling me.”
Greed deadpanned at him. “And Wrath’s spy issue is my problem because…?”
“Because, you fool, if she has impostors, then you could have impostors. Be. Alert.” Jack snapped, claws digging into his knees.
Greed raised an eyebrow. “And whose spies are they?”
“Pride’s.”
Greed snapped to attention immediately, ears pricked up and eyes wide and alert. His nose crinkled in anger, and a quiet, rumbling growl rippled through his throat. Jack smirked slightly in the dark, having been sure he’d pique Greed’s interest as soon as his rival was mentioned. The only thing the pair of allies agreed on was their disdain for Pride and his troops.
“Details, Jack. Details! What kind of vain freak am I looking for?” Greed barked, teeth snapping.
Jack shrugged, feigning disappointment. “Wish I could tell you. You’ll have to ask Wrath for those. She and her guards are the only ones who saw the idiot before she got her tail into their eye sockets.”
Greed winced, but he had the beginnings of amusement on his face. “Serves the little bastard right.”
“Mm.” Jack nodded. “So keep an eye out.”
“Will do. Now, do me a favour, Jack.” Greed narrowed his eyes. “Get the Hell out of my house. It’s too early for this.”
“It is 4pm.”
“Exactly. Piss off, Jack.” Greed pulled his bedsheets back towards himself.
Jack shrugged, hopping down from Greed’s bed and pulling himself back up onto the windowsill. Jack’s ears pricked up as Greed rolled back over behind him in bed, shifting the sheets with a rustling sound. Jack smiled to himself. While he could have simply slipped beneath the blinds, there was an idea that he liked far better. Jack lifted the blinds up his head, stepping back outside to get back onto the roof. The Ripper dug his claws into the gutter and hauled himself up, listening to Greed’s shrieks of pain as the sunlight hit his back.
Jack snickered under his breath, wondering if the burns would still be visible the next time they spoke. Even better that Greed couldn’t do anything about him. Oh, he couldn’t wait for Wrath and Envy to see their counterpart. He was sure they’d laugh him right back into whatever pit he crawled out of.