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Our first experiment revealed that, despite Leo’s concerns, there were many things agreeable between us. Without fail, the impulses he thought of as unforgivable and uncontrollable would melt into tenderness and affection.
This remained consistent in subsequent experiments.
More often than not, I had to console and encourage him to continue, and there were a few times I had to reject his insistence on using Dame Natalie’s poison. Unless he'd been able to say he hated what we were doing—and he never could—I'd press forward, using every advantage I had in my arsenal to gently bully him into submission. I’ve never lost an argument against him, and I intended to keep my winning streak.
Leo was, in many ways, like an overeager yet obedient dog, restlessly waiting for my command and all too happy to follow it. Why would I ever need to use poison to subdue him? But it seemed to be for him like a safety blanket to a child, an impregnable shield against imaginary monsters. In that way, Leo radiated a strange innocence when suggesting something as deranged as poisoning himself. The quirks of the field army can’t be overstated.
We couldn’t fully indulge too often, considering the toll it took on my body, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t indulge in many other ways. While there was no rest from the endless work of reconstructing a kingdom alongside establishing viable plans and contingencies for the next decade or so, every night we found some opportunity to further our experiments.
I had thought over time Leo would calm down, but there hasn’t been much change. No, maybe there has—with my direction, there were ways his hands and mouth have steadied; at this point, not an inch of my body had been left untouched by him. He’d reached places I myself had never given any attention to. It was mortifying. But, I couldn’t bring myself to draw a line, because it wasn’t… disagreeable…
Anyway, despite the thorough and intimate way he’d familiarized himself with my body, rather than finding satisfaction and satiating his interest, he grew even more eager, more direct in his quest to consume every part of me.
Knowing all this, it shouldn’t have surprised me when he bought something new to try that involved yet another way to further this quest of his. But I, ah, did choke when, as we laid in bed, in each other’s arms, he said, “I want to know what it’s like to hold you inside of me.”
…Which he had brought up in passing, that first time, but I'd clearly heard him say that either role was fine with him? Not that he was after both!?
Something about this seemed against the natural order of things, as if I suddenly found myself in front of a dangerous and forbidden door, the key to it heavy in my hand. These feelings must have been strong enough to leak through <Secret Lovers>, because Leo immediately assured, 「Don’t worry too much about it.」 He sealed his own dismissal with a kiss to my forehead. 「I won’t bring it up again—」
“Wait!” I interrupted sharply, covering his mouth (even though he hadn’t been speaking out loud). It'd taken so much work to get Leo to accept his desires, I wasn’t going to tolerate any step backwards. “J-just, let me think,” I managed to say, slightly tripping over my words. Damn, if I was more prepared I could at least pretend to be more confident.
To feel as though this were against the natural order of things didn’t make sense. After all, wasn’t I the one who said that the standards of other people weren’t important?
…It was only now that I realized, despite being a modern man from a supposedly more advanced society, I was more close-minded than I’d thought. After all, I had already accepted being in a relationship with another man, which was already objectionable to the type of people who tried to divide the world into what they considered ‘the natural order’ and ‘against the natural order’.
There was no natural order; this was still just between me and him. So, was this feeling coming from my own preference? Was I, myself, against this experiment?
…
…
…
Not really.
But, when this was first proposed, my initial misgivings were rooted in the differences in our stamina, and how this might feel for Leo. What if I injured him? What if something tore? Leo may have a strong body, an impressive musculature honed by years of intense training, but no degree of training could fully protect the delicate and vulnerable insides of a person. Even though I now had the advantage of firsthand experience, I wasn’t quite sure how to translate it in ways that would be safe for him.
Suddenly, I was hit by a powerful longing for my old world. For the most part, I had adjusted to—even preferred—the one I lived in now. But having the internet at my disposal would have probably sped along my thoughts and eased my anxieties about preparation. I could’ve even ordered all the necessary tools with complete anonymity. If only I had more initiative researching these types of things when I had the chance! Then, maybe I wouldn’t have this unshakable fear of hurting Leo. (But back then, I would have never thought it’d be personally relevant to me).
「If that’s the only issue, I could take care of it myself.」
I was too shocked to scold Leo for his (likely involuntary) eavesdropping. Leo, preparing himself? Right in front of me? Leo’s thick, calloused fingers, the ones I knew so well, working their way into himself, pushing through his entrance? Would he gasp through the initial discomfort? Would he bite back any moans? What would happen when he reached that electrifying spot buried deep within him? My brain was short-circuiting, overloaded by a relentless perversion I didn’t know I was capable of. Have I always been this depraved? Surely not.
I whispered my agreement through <Secret Lovers>, prompting him to retrieve oil suitable for our purposes. Despite the lack of internet, I had been able to discretely look into more specific and appropriate necessities for our experiments. The scented massage oil was serviceable, but there were better options; I’m glad I’d been able to stock up beforehand.
Leo opened the bottle, pouring a generous amount of its contents over the tips of his fingers. The thick, viscous fluid dribbled slowly over whorls and creases. Anticipation gripped my heart—and, admittedly, my lower half—as his oil-coated hand lowered. Those large calloused hands, so gentle with me, shoved two fingers all the way down to the base of his knuckle into his own hole with military ruthlessness.
“Stop!” I grabbed at his hand, appalled at Leo’s show of force; my own backside twinged in phantom sympathy.
Leo stopped, obedient as ever. “…Was it unpleasant to watch?”
His face, so forlorn, was an unbearable sight. “No,” I denied, first and foremost to chase that expression off his face. 「 It just… it looked like you were being rough with yourself. 」
“I’m eager to have you in me as soon as possible,” Leo said without any shame or compromise. That isn’t to say he wouldn’t compromise for me, but there probably wasn’t a way to convince him to focus on any degree of pleasure that didn’t involve me. After all, I was the carrot dangling right before his eyes; nothing else would matter to him.
I mourned the sudden end of my emerging fantasies, then set them aside for later. That’d take more time than tonight would allow, and we had a very specific agenda.
For now, I slipped my fingers between his, then slid my hand upwards, lightly squeezing past each joint, collecting excess oil. It glistened in the low lamplight. Even though there was still oil in the jar… well, waste not want not.
“There’s no rush,” I murmured, low and soft; I could feel his shudder from where our hands connected, and his silver irises took on a haze I’ve become more and more familiar with.
“Can you…”
I didn’t need to use <Secret Lovers> to catch his meaning. Now that his hands no longer had to be involved, I brought over the steel shackles.
We haven’t been using them every time, only here and there. Mostly when trying something new so that Leo felt comfortable enough to try it. These operated as another security blanket for him, but also, he seemed to get this air of… satisfaction whenever I turned the key.
I’d originally intended to use the shackles strictly for practical purposes, to corner Leo and stop him from being so afraid to hurt me, but did I accidentally awaken something in him…? Considering I was his first, I had to take responsibility for the ways he'd been developing into a shameless pervert.
After considering the logistics, we laid out a towel, then opted to take off our clothes and bind his arms behind him. This did mean he’d be more greedy for my hands, and greedy with his mouth.
Thinking about his preferences… Leo appeared to be happiest when held against me, our skin-to-skin contact covering the greatest surface area possible. Bearing this in mind, I arranged him to be half-cradled with one arm. He melted into me, filling any minute gap that dared to exist between us as his head tucked into the crook of my neck. He could be quite cute. I felt the slight part of his lips against me, as though in preparation to sink his teeth into my clavicle. But he merely let out a breath, the ghost of his sigh skimming the surface of my skin.
I couldn’t see much from this angle, and I felt disappointed, and then I felt ridiculous for feeling disappointed. First of all, it still took me aback that I could be this interested in another man’s body. Second of all, there was always next time.
The arm I used to support Leo against me put my hand against his muscular chest, and it drifted up, allowing me to absently thumb over his areola. My other hand drifted down, traced the area right above his entrance before pressing with more force; this earned me the first bite of the night, and definitely not the last. I dragged my finger down to circle his hole, still slick from the oil he’d already shoved inside himself.
「 See? Doesn’t this feel much better?」
Leo gazed up at me through his fine silver lashes, his breath coming out shorter, heavier. Absurdly, he trembled much more violently than he did when working himself open. I hadn’t even begun to press in when he pleaded, “Isaac…”
“I’m here,” I replied, and then I slowly sank the blunt tip of my index finger into him.
The first time I’d experienced this, I remember feeling that strange, stomach-churning sensation of a foreign object sliding into me. Therefore, I took my time with Leo, slowly getting to the first joint of one finger, then sliding out until the entrance nearly closed once more. I repeated the motion carefully until it felt loose enough to push to my second joint without any resistance.
Leo didn’t make any sounds of discomfort, though it’s hard to tell whether his training as a field soldier lent to more self-control or a less sensitive body. While this was admittedly underhanded, I couldn’t resist nudging my way into his thoughts with <Secret Lovers>.
「 This is torture…」
Torture!? I yanked my hand back reflexively and it hovered in the air like an anxious bird without a perch to rest on. Was I really that bad at it!?
But before I could interrogate Leo, he pressed into me, nearly bowling me over. The longer it took for my hand to return, the more restless Leo seemed to get. His legs straddled my thigh as he rutted his now-hard length against me, just as slick as his hole had become (but without the assistance of oil).
“Don’t go, come back,” he said, echoed in stereo and repeated several times over <Secret Lovers>.
Ah.
That kind of torture.
…Could it be, with Leo having a less sensitive body, he felt less discomfort and more desperation? A little more bold, I reached deep into Leo, prodding around for that ‘blunt part’ he so often tortured me with. As I did, he continued to lap at my neck, sometimes scraping his teeth, as though trying to savor something delicious.
The deeper and more forceful I was, the more sounds escaped him, and excitement leaked through our mental bond; maybe I'd been too hasty earlier, and he simply liked it rough… but no, back then there had only been tactical pragmatism on his part.
It took longer for me to find it than it had taken Leo that first time, but I refused any hit to my pride; Leo’s curiosity was different from mine, and it was natural that we’d have our different approaches. When I finally felt something, pressed down on it…
“…the inside twitches, and it feels good.”
Leo had been right. The way his inner walls tightened around my fingers felt as though he was trying keep me inside him, as deep as possible, like a starving man devouring the first meal he’d had in weeks. I’d never let Leo go hungry, so I pressed into it again and again, listening to the involuntary broken moans that escaped him. The pressure, the angle, the pacing, adjusting each variable led to different reactions. Tension, volume, pitch. As I continued my onslaught, I could feel heat pool within me.
I’d been getting used to the new sides he’d revealed to me up until this point, faces I’d never seen before, but to think there was still such an extensive collection I hadn’t been able to analyze and catalog… I took the opportunity to examine these new expressions until I intimately knew the once-unfamiliar angles of his eyebrows; my free hand traced the variations around his orbital cavity, carving every small detail of his features into my memory.
This was kind of fun.
If he’d been unbound, I knew Leo would’ve clung to me the same way I found myself clinging to him when our roles were reversed. His fingers would have dug into my back, deep enough to leave bruises, which he’d worry over, but I would’ve liked the feeling of him trying to merge into me, as if he could work his way under my skin just by pressing us together.
Perhaps because that wasn’t an option, he surged forward, licking into my mouth similar to how my fingers licked into him.
The tongue was an interesting muscle. One of the dishes I had missed, that I had tried to replicate here (with marginal but imperfect success) was steamed beef tongue. I couldn’t help but think of the tenderness of its texture when Leo’s pressed against my teeth, rubbed against the ridges of my palate. Of course, the richness of flavor wasn’t there, but it was delicious in a different way.
「 Isaac… I want more...」
My ears burned. It’s hard to say whether Leo whispered this on purpose, or if his desire was so strong that that it was telegraphed to me amidst his relentless kisses. In any case, I had to gently tug the hair at the base of his neck, then firmly pull until he did finally relent. After that, I could give him what he had been asking for.
From my own experience, it was easier on the body to do it from behind, but these objective logistics warred with my own greed. In this relatively short span of time, I’d added an unprecedented amount to my private library of Leo’s various expressions, but it wasn’t enough—I wanted to know everything he could possibly show me.
As if reading my mind—perhaps, as a result of reading my mind—Leo reclined backwards, spreading his legs so I could fit perfectly between them, his shaft standing tall.
…It definitely won’t be as difficult for him to take me as it had been for me to take him.
Strangely enough, that thought filled me with more confidence. I maneuvered a few pillows under him, the bare minimum of comfort I could offer (especially with his hands still cuffed behind him). I stroked Leo’s thigh as I lifted one of his legs over my shoulder for better leverage. It was heavier than I expected, a healthy abundance of muscle. If he were livestock, he’d surely be premium-grade.
I bit into the calf that rested invitingly next to my mouth. Very firm.
…Perhaps Leo has been rubbing off on me.
Leo let out a small, wounded sound, one I’d been hearing more often as of late. He bent his leg to urge me closer, eager for me to continue. So I obliged, lining myself up and slowly easing my tip in.
Then I stopped.
“Does this still feel like torture?” I asked, unfairly, just to see what would show on Leo’s face. It also came from a place of genuine curiosity; so far, all I’ve heard had been vague encouragements any partner would want to hear. This was as good a time as any for a check-in.
Leo’s half-lidded eyes widened with guilt, as though he’d been caught eavesdropping (when really I’d been the one in the wrong). He shook his head frantically.
“Leo, don’t we have an agreement?” I stroked my hand up and down the outside of his thigh again, feather-light. “You need to tell me what you want.”
「 I, I’ve told you…」
“Then, can you tell me again?”
I don’t know where this impulse to interrogate him came from. It was especially unfair, considering how words seemed to still be beyond him. Perhaps this was a test, bringing him out of the insanity of lust in case there were any adjustments to make.
Obediently, with some struggle but without shame, Leo finally caught his breath and said, “I want to, to feel you… deep inside me…”
Then, he hooked his other leg behind me and pulled me in all the way to the root.
What the hell!?
It took everything in me not to let everything out, stamina be damned, and I was immediately confronted with my inexperience, and therefore, my lack of immunity to these indescribable sensations.
There wasn’t the opportunity to explore anything like this in my old life. Actually, there probably had been some I’d overlooked or ignored, but going from relative to relative, what kind of maniac would be in the mood to answer the call of puberty? So I put the phone on hold and forgot to return the call.
The inside of Leo was warm and soft, clinging tightly to my cock. It felt less like I was penetrating him, and more like he was engulfing me, holding me within his most vulnerable parts.
I’ve heard that cats and rabbits have the opposite way of establishing dominance. That is, if a cat were to groom a rabbit, both animals would feel in a position of power over the other. Between Leo and I, there were times it felt as though we did this dance in reverse, fitting together in mutual submission. The way he surrendered his body to me. The way I surrendered my body to him. And each time we did, we’d end up more and more captivated, rendered helpless against the other’s display of trust.
From the way Leo kept me in place with his heel, he seemed perfectly content to spend the rest of the night like this. Or knowing him, he was probably fantasizing about an eternity of holding me within him. Not that I could blame him. It was soothing, how it felt like he would never let me go, and I appreciated the chance to collect myself. But, having gotten this far, I was determined to run our experiment to completion.
I tapped his leg until it relaxed, then adjusted my position. Testing out both shallow and deep thrusts, I took my time getting used to that soft, inviting warmth around my length so I wouldn’t have to be worried about losing myself and reaching my own climax well before Leo. I did my best to ignore the wet sounds that accompanied my movements, and the sounds made by the impact of my swollen glands against his flesh.
I found myself with an additional goal—if I did well enough, hopefully everything would be drowned out by Leo.
Following his initial unexpected assistance, Leo subsequently restrained himself as best he could, keeping his movements to a minimum. But there were times, as I continued my slow exploration, that his hips would jerk downwards, or his legs would tense as if desperate to drag me deeper. While I tried to find that blunt spot without the advantage of dexterity, a groan or something almost like a whimper would escape, as if I really were torturing him. And when I finally reached it, pressing the full length of my cock against it, he threw his head back with an unabashed moan, eyelashes fluttering and mouth parted in rapture. Yet another face I hadn’t seen before. So, having memorized the path to that spot, I aimed for it again and again with unrelenting precision, watching the expressions he made as he arched his back as if to take as much of me as much as possible.
When I pulled back, the flesh of his inner walls would cling, desperate to keep me inside. When I thrust forward, he swallowed me eagerly.
There had been times he had sucked on my tongue as if sweetly indulging in a piece of candy; his opening below was just as greedy as his mouth.
Now that our positions were reversed, I had to applaud Leo’s self-control. Each time he begged me to go harder, deeper, my heart would pound in my chest loud enough to drown out my own thoughts. I was no longer a rational human, I felt like I was going mad with power, an unyielding tyrant incapable of sound judgement, my hips snapping forward as I started chasing my own pleasure.
In that fog of desire, I found myself transfixed by Leo’s neglected cock. I reached down and wrapped my fingers around the prominent veins of his hard length, stroking with a haphazard and incomprehensible rhythm. When he first had entered me, it had been intimidating, monstrous even. But here, seeing it aimlessly bobbing in the air, feeling it desperately quiver against the palm of my hand, it looked endearingly helpless.
I could see a bead of sweat roll down his neck, and without a thought, I lapped it up, then bit down as hard as I could bear just as I thrust into him.
Leo jolted up against me, hard enough that the shackles rattled against each other. He let out a sound as though he had been gutted, and his climax splattered against my chest, even onto my chin, but I couldn’t stop; as he constricted around me, I chased my own release.
A weak attempt at regaining control managed to break through my feverish irrationality, and it occurred to me that pulling out would be the polite thing to do. But Leo, despite the languor that came after climax, crossed his legs behind me to prevent anything from spilling out. It was difficult to tell whether he was driven by instinct or by clear-headed premeditation. Regardless, I helplessly released a thick stream of semen into him. I could feel it coating his insides as I collapsed against him. I gave myself a minute or two for my brain to regain its functioning, then wiped my chin and sluggishly groped around for the key to the shackles.
Once freed, I didn’t even get the chance to check his wrists for any injury or strain; Leo’s arms immediately wrapped around me, pressing me against his chest. The aftermath of our exertions echoed in my ear, his heart rate still rabbit-fast. The next time we’d do this, we’ll no doubt forgo his safety blanket. Idly, I wondered what he’d do with his hands.
I turned my head to press my lips just above his heart. “We should start cleaning up.”
“…Can’t we stay like this?”
Obviously not!
But before I could speak, Leo mouthed against me, biting and sucking until patches of deep red bloomed across my neck and shoulder like a field of poppies. He worked his way down to my sternum. I felt myself melt against him.
Alright, I’ll allow him to indulge his perversions for a few more minutes, but no longer than that.
