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It may have taken Genevieve thirty-six years to get her shit together, but she finally did it. She’s sober, she kicked her eating disorder, and she’s maintaining her friendships with her bandmates after the end of My Chemical Romance.
None of it was easy, except for keeping her friendship with Ray. If there’s anyone in the world that gets Gen thoroughly, it’s Ray. She never even had to try with that one; that friendship was secure through the end without even trying. She’s known Ray since high school, but they didn’t hit it off until they met again as lonely college kids. They didn’t go to the same college, but when they reconnected at a mutual friend’s party, they bonded over music and missing home. Hours passed just talking and catching up, and by the time people were staring to leave the party, Gee asked Ray to come check out some songs she was working on, and the rest was history.
Ever since that night, Ray has been her other half, so she knew that their friendship would survive the band breaking up. Sure enough, life went on and their friendship hasn’t changed at all. He was even happy for her when she announced that she’s releasing her first solo album and going on tour.
So, here’s the deal. Ever since Gen’s friends started getting pregnant, she’s started having some unexpected baby fever. It’s only gotten worse with each new child born, and after her cousin had a sweet baby girl, it made her think good and hard about what she wants in life. Like she said, she’s thirty-six years old, she’s still single, she has no children, and she’s taking on a new direction in her artistic career – but she wants a family of her own. She wants to be pregnant, she wants a baby, she wants to raise that baby and even deal with the shitty parts of parenting.
It’s a bit of a shocking realization and thought process for her. She’s never really put any extended thought into having a kid, up until the past year or two after splitting up the band and getting her head put back on straight. She was never sure she ever wanted to be a mom, or even could be a mom in that kind of environment, but for the first time life has calmed down and she’s had the stability to consider this route. However, she’s worried she may have waited too long and pissed away her only hopes at motherhood.
However, she’s done a lot of research, weighed some pros and cons, and figured out that she wants to ask someone to donate sperm. Getting it from an anonymous donor leaves the risk for her child to inherit medical problems she wouldn’t know about, and if her future child wants to meet their biological father, they’d never be able to. It was just too much to risk, so she decided on asking someone in her inner circle. There are a few men she’d be comfortable asking, but the person she wants to ask the most is Ray.
Ray is Genevieve’s best friend and has been for over twenty years, but she’s also had these underlying, unresolved feelings for so long. She’s wanted him since she was nineteen and saw how big his hands looked holding a beer bottle for the first time. Getting to know him over time and finding out how much they have in common only made that crush worse. Since then, his body has only gotten bigger and brawnier and he’s only gotten sexier – and nerdier - with age. Needless to say, as their relationship has grown, she’s only become increasingly, ridiculously attracted to him.
However, what made her decide to ask Ray rather than Frank was that she knows he’s healthy. Frank, who is one of her other closest friends, has struggled with a variety of chronic health issues from a young age, but Ray’s as healthy as a horse. Now, after months of going back and forth about it in her own head, Gen invites Ray to come to her place for dinner.
So here she stands, setting down the pizza box on the table. “Finally, took it long enough.”
Ray’s gorgeous smile lights up his face, so bright that it rivals the sun. “You got my favorite!”
“Of course I did, Toro,” Gen shrugs. “It’s what you like. I didn’t invite you here to give you pizza you won’t like.”
“Then why did you invite me here?” Ray asks bluntly.
Gen worries her teeth on her bottom lip. “I want to talk to you about something.”
Ray takes a slice out of the box, setting it on the paper plates Genevieve had already set up. “Yeah, I kinda figured that, Gee. C’mon, talk to me.” He looks her in the eyes and asks, “What’s on your mind?”
It’s like all the oxygen in the room has been sucked out by a vacuum. The long speech Gen had written and practiced flies out of her head and instead she blurts out, “I want to have a baby.”
Ray blinks. “Okay… What does that have to do with me?”
“I want your baby.”
Ray’s jaw drops open and mortification takes over Genevieve. “Wait! Oh my god, I didn’t mean it like that. Oh my god!”
“Then what did you mean it like?”
She takes a deep breath. “I want a kid, but I don’t have a partner obviously. I looked into sperm donation, but there’s lots of potential issues if you don’t know the father. Like, health issues and the kid wanting a relationship when they grow up, y’know? I know you, I trust you, I know you’d be a great uncle to my kid and have a relationship with them, I know you’re healthy. I… I know this is a lot to ask, but I really want to be a mom.”
Ray stares at her and his pizza slice in quiet contemplation for a long, long while and Gen’s heart drops into the empty pit in her stomach, thinking she’s truly blown it. Then, “I don’t want to be an uncle. If it’s gonna be my kid, I’m going to be the dad, right? We can co-parent.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Her heart soars and she jumps out of her chair, hugging him tight. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
Ray sweeps her into his strong arms, squeezing her to his chest. “Of course I’m serious! You know I’ve always wanted to be a dad. I’ve thought about it a lot lately, thinking maybe I’ll never get the chance. This is the perfect scenario, we can both have kids-or kid, whatever you want-“ Ray cuts himself off from his rambling and takes a deep breath. “I want to be there for you, Gee. I want to be there for our kid. What kinda dad would I be if I wasn’t?”
Genevieve is beyond grateful to have someone like Ray in her life, who sees her logic in things where no one else does - but there is a dark, shameful part of her that whispers; “I wish we were having his baby the natural way. Like I’m his girlfriend or wife and he knocked me up.” She shushes that voice in her head and listens to Ray’s laugh instead, letting it warm her soul like sunlight while she thanks him again and again. There is still a lot of discussion to be had about this arrangement, but Ray’s agreement makes her feel much less anxious about those future conversations.