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Regect laid in Ze's bed, curled into the mess of blanket and pillows.
He held the fabrics close to him, sniffling into cloth that still smelled like the aforementioned. It hurt to even consider this was what he had left of him. It stilled smelled like Ze, because he wasn't here to do the laundry anymore. Regect couldn't remember how long he's remained here.
It felt like a piece of him had been torn away. It felt so wrong, so incorrect. He sobbed as he curled furthermore into himself.
He was alone;
laying there in Ze's bed,
sobbing into the sheets.
he was careful to not claw at anything, lest he ruined what remained.
He felt incomplete. He murmured into the blanket what he wished he could confess to, the tears fresh and still falling. "I wish I had you to fill the gaps between my body. There's something- something so deeply, deeply wrong, I feel so useless without him. I don't know what to do. I wish, I can only imagine how it would feel to be guided in any form of way by him once again." He hiccupped between his words, speaking to nobody but himself. Not Ze. Not Moe, not anyone.
He missed the way Ze's face would scrunch up in distaste whenever Regect said something he hated,
how he'd sigh so deeply whenever given a break for a moment,
and how he'd yell back when Regect raised his voice.
He missed him.
He thought of all the things he wished he'd said,
how pretty Ze was when the sun made everything so gold,
it reminded Regect of the gold on himself, and it made him feel so strange.
He wished he'd told Ze how he made him look forward to the days ahead,
instead of making him want to lay all day and do nothing.
How special he felt when Ze would laugh at something he'd say only when it was just them.
How much he wished he could hold him close and never once think of letting him go,
because he made him feel real. Like something deserving of staying for.
And yet, nothing was said.
Because Regect knew he thought he'd have more time.
Because,
in the end, he'll still be waiting for Ze.