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Rhodes Islands gets Supernatural visitors

Summary:

In order to get them off his back, Crowley opens a portal to Terra and drops the Winchesters brothers in there. Rhodes Island tries to welcome them with open arms, but the two hunters have way too much experience to be fooled by these gentle faces. (aka cultural clash leads to disaster)

Notes:

This was supposed to be just a crack fic, but both franchises have too much trauma and I ended up hurting my own feelings several times. So enjoy the feels, enjoy the fun, and enjoy the sexy. Muah~

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Since becoming the King of Sarkaz, Amiya came and went from Rhodes Island to Kazdel, busier than ever, but happy to build safe places for those most unfortunate. She happened to be in her office in the pharmaceutical company, when a portal opened next to her. She stood up, ready for combat, when two men were thrown across the dimensional rift. Above them, through the ring of energy, came the upper body of a man with a smug smile on his face. Despite his receding hairline, he wore a neatly trimmed beard and an impeccable suit. He pointed at her desk. “Be sure to note down the taller one as ‘Elafia’.” He said, before disappearing along with the portal.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Amiya was back at her desk, this time with the Doctor and Kal’tsit beside her. In front of her, the two who came through the portal. “Dean Winchester… Human… Sam Winchester… Elafia… Date of birth?” She ignored the questioning face from the blond, and continued taking their info to register them as operators.

Behind her, the Doctor leaned in to whisper to Kal’tsit. “Isn’t Winchester a model of a rifle from Blacksteel?”

“Yes.”

The feline, unusually quiet, was easier to read for the Doctor. She was annoyed. If it was at his continued probing, that wouldn't stop him. “You sure it’s a good idea to let them into Rhodes Island?”

Kal’tsit sighed. She turned towards a corner, taking the Doctor with her. “You know I’ve lived a long existence. At some point, I led an army against the Sarkaz. This man called Crowley was their General. We made a deal. I’d give him enough originum to power a certain witchcraft ritual, and he’d disappear. The other term of our pact was at some point, he’d send two people my way to take in under my wing. Several millennia later, it seems he’s claiming that part of the pact.”

A brief silence. “No, there’s something else annoying you.” The Doctor said. A killer glare from Kal’tsit told him to let it be. After all, she’d never admit that pact, for some reason, had to be sealed with a kiss.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Moose? They let you choose your own codename and you go with MOOSE?”

“Ah, Crowley calls me that so much I actually respond to the name so… I thought it was a good option, why not. Plus, it’s not like we’re staying around for long, IMPALA.”

“Shut up. My name is cool and you know it.” Impala glanced at the signs near the ceiling that served as guides around the place. “We gotta find a way back. First step: getting armed. At least they made part of the work for us. Can’t believe they actually sent us to their armory to get whatever we want. Who do we have to talk to again?”

“Someone called Closure.”
“That would be me!” A black cube with bat wings and a tail that ended in an arrow seemed to talk to them. Then a cheerful girl popped up from behind the counter. The brothers glanced at each other. The animal ears and fantasy colors were one thing, but the pointy ears and red eyes on this chick were… Unnerving.

“Why… Is this… So heavy!” Impala went for the biggest, meanest sword he saw, and he couldn’t even lift it. Then he started going for progressively smaller weapons, but even a hunting knife proved to be heavier than he anticipated.

“So… This is ‘powered by originium’, and because I don’t know a thing about ‘arts’, I can’t shoot.” Moose asked, getting a positive answer. The girl’s wide grin showed a pair of long, pointy fangs. His heart skipped a beat. She didn’t look like the vampires he had encountered back home, but she did look like the vampires from legends… What time was it? Was it day? Was it night? There were no windows. A quick glance at Dean told him they were thinking the same. Before he could finish processing his thoughts, he had grabbed an axe and swung it at the girl’s neck.

Decapitation wasn’t easy, but at least she couldn’t scream. A few more swings finished the job. Her blood was black and smelled weird, almost like motor oil, but they couldn’t stay to observe their work. Quickly scanning their surroundings, they saw there were no operators nearby. This Closure girl seemed to also monitor the security cameras, going by what they could see on her computer. They grabbed some RI uniforms, and made a run for it. They had to escape from the island, from the plane, and they had to do it fast.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Closure gasped as her flesh joined back together, and she saw Lancet-2 healing her, telling her everything would be alright. She tried to thank the robot, but her vocal cords weren’t quite there yet. Tapping at her terminal, she sent out a message to Warfarin.

-C:SOS NEED HEALING

-W:Where u at?

-C:MY STATION

-C:NEW GUYS AVOID ATTACKED ME SCREAMING VAMPIRE

-C:TELL MIDNIGHT ENTELECHIA

-W:Midnight isn’t a vampire…

-C:WHAT

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The Winchesters ran into a changing room. They needed to change from their bloodstained clothes into the stolen uniforms. But only after shutting the door, did they notice the lady pulling up her brown, partially torn tights.

“H-Huh excuse us, we’re sorry, we didn’t know this was the women’s changing room…” Sam held his hands up, trying not to come off as a threat. The short, pink haired woman looked them up and down, then smiled.

“Not at all… Here, changing rooms are unisex.” Gravel lied through her teeth.

The two brothers looked at each other, then Dean shrugged it off. That worked for him. As they got changed, Gravel leaned against a locker, not concealing at all how her eyes followed every movement of their hands as they took off their clothes. She observed their broad backs, their strong muscles, those scars that were begging to be traced by her fingers… She was taken out of her trance when they got dressed in Rhodes Island’s uniform. The one with the handsome face seemed to have noticed her invading gaze, but his suggestive smile showed he was flattered by the attention. The two mysterious men left, and Orchid stepped into view.

“I was going to tell them this was the women’s dressing room, but woah.” she said.

“I know, right?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Somehow Amiya tracked them down. She said since they weren’t from this dimension, and they weren’t making any progress into finding how to send them home yet, they would take classes to understand this so-called ‘Terra’s culture. Starting now. They were left in a classroom with a purple haired girl with horns, and equally purple eyes. She said she’d start with Terra’s races and how to identify them.

The two whispered amongst themselves when Hibiscus covered the Sankta. They concluded it was good they knew angels existed, and could work with them but they weren’t all powerful. As they went on, Moose let out a quiet ‘oooooh’ when he realized the ‘Elafia’, the word Crowley had used before, were people who looked like humans with moose traits. Jerk.

Eventually Hibiscus reached the topic of Sarkaz. The brothers tried to munch on the cookies she had brought for them. Moose recognized the taste of ‘healthy treats’, and he forced himself to eat them. Impala subtly spat his onto a paper towel and put it in his pocket. The cute girl seemed more excited about this particular race. “...and face great discrimination, being called Demons, as a direct counterpart to the Sankta.”

The Winchester brothers started getting tunnel vision.

“But there’s nothing wrong with being a Demon! Look at me, I heal people!” Hibiscus poked her own cheeks. “My twin sister is adorable too, but most people say she’s scar– AAAAHHH!!!”
The non-terran operators lunged at the medic brandishing their new weapons. They threw small knives at her, the blades cutting her flesh. She fell to the floor, tears welling up in her eyes. She grabbed her staff, but before she could cast her healing arts, the men loomed over her, Moose with an axe and Impala with a knife. Hibiscus closed her eyes bracing for the impact, but she heard the clash of metal against metal. Daring to take a peek, she saw Saria standing between her and the men, the weapons having bounced off her shield.

“I wasn’t quick enough. I apologize. Heal yourself.” The towering woman said.

“Y-Yes!” Hibiscus got on her feet and activated her arts. The brothers’ eyes widened as her wounds closed up in mere seconds.

“You were spying on us.” Moose growled at Saria.

“I heard from Closure what happened. After seeing what you did to her for being a vampire, I couldn’t leave you alone with Hibiscus. Your blind hate won’t let you spare anyone.”

‘The vampire survived?!’ Impala thought, alarmed. “Typical demon, following orders from a King without questioning it. When we break down your shield and exorcise you from that body, maybe you’ll realize your King doesn’t care about you.”

Saria’s arm didn’t falter, but her eye twitched a bit. “There’s nothing bad with being a Sarkaz, or a ‘demon’. But I am not. I am a Vouivre, which you would know if you had let her finish her lesson on horned races!”

“A Vo–what? Is that french?” Impala couldn’t ponder it much longer, because Saria drew a baton and quickly knocked them unconscious, their attacks doing nothing against her calcified shield.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“I feel so bad about doing this. We’ll be lying to them!” A very distressed Amiya looked back at a mischievous lupo.

“Only by omission~ And remember, two of our operators would be dead if there didn’t happen to be medics nearby, or they weren’t medics themselves. Besides, this plan was devised by the Doctor! I’m only here as a lying coach!”

Amiya gave Lappland a worried look. Since her grin wasn’t getting any smaller, and the two new operators were waking up, she sighed and went to speak with them.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam and Dean woke up tied to chairs. Amiya, the Doctor and… The Other Doctor, the one with green cat ears, were looking at them.

“Let us go you black eyed freaks! We know this is a demons’ nest, and we’ll snuff it out and send you all back to Hell!”

“Please, stop fighting your bindings. You’ll get a rope burn.” Amiya spoke to Impala in a gentle voice. “I want to be…” She exhaled in resignation. “Completely transparent with both of you.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Your cue is about to come up. Remember your lines, and the word I told you to use. Those other operators from another dimension really seemed to fear it, heheh…” Lappland fluffed up the kid’s tails, and sent her on her way.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“There is a place where ‘demons’ gather, yes, but it’s not here. As you can see,” Amiya gestured at herself and Kal’tsit. “ not all of us are Sarkaz. Rhodes Island is a pharmaceutical company. And we take care of all sorts of cases. Such as…” She stepped aside, revealing the cute sight of a nine-tailed little Vulpo.

“Hi! My name is Suzuran! I’m a patient at Rhodes Island! Amiya and the Doctor and many other medics treat me for Oripathy!” She started talking as if she was giving an exam. “Oripathy is an infect– infectuous– infectious disease that we get from contact with Originium! Originium is a rock that has been here since the beginning of time, and people learnt to use it as a source of energy! Our whole society is based around Originium, so a lot of people get sick!”

When Suzuran said Originium was there since the beginning of time, the Doctor suddenly seemed to choke on something. Amiya on the other hand, was proud of how Suzuran was managing to explain such a complex concept and with so many long words so successfully.

“You could say it’s our world’s version of Cancer! Rock Cancer!”

Amiya, Kal’tsit and the Doctor stared at the vulpo with shocked, wide eyes. So did the Winchesters. Suzuran pointed at the crystals on her shoulder.

“When you get Rock Cancer, you get rocks like this all over your body! They’re painful and your body stops working! And when your time comes…” She crouched, then rose slowly, raising her hands in front of her. “...you turn into an Originium statue… AND YOU EXPLODE! THROWING ORIGINIUM DUST EVERYWHERE! INFECTING EVERYONE AROUND YOU!”

“I think they got the idea, Suzuran.” Amiya forced a smile as she grabbed the child’s hands, which were outstretched from when she mimicked an explosion. Those theatrics came from Lappland. She shouldn’t have allowed her to act as a lying coach. What kind of role was that?

The Winchesters had mixed feelings. The kid was cute. Her explanation was endearing but it had to be exaggerated… Right? And if not… How could they get as far away as those crystals, ASAP?
Suzuran clasped her hands together. “During my treatment here, I made a great friend, and I’d like you to meet her.” She turned towards the doorway, where a blonde kid stepped through.

“Yo! Wassup! Name’s Ifrit. I’m also a patient at RI. As you can see, plenty of rocks.” Ifrit gestured at her legs and forearm. When she noticed the sorry look those men gave her, she wished she had her flamethrower with her, but they had been told to go unarmed, and pretend they weren’t child soldiers.

“See these horns? No, I’m not a Vouivre, and I’m not a shiny Caprinae. I’m a Sarkaz. A demon.” She smiled as a glimmer of hate appeared in the men’s eyes. Too bad she had to make it disappear in a peaceful manner. “Suzuran told you how Originium is our source of energy. How do we get it? Mines. Do you know what mines are?” The two nodded. “And who works the mines? Poor people. And a lot of the time, that’s the Sarkaz.”

“Rich people believe the Sarkaz are only good for mining and fighting, and… I think there’s something in our blood that makes us have more Oripathy?” She turned for a moment to check, and both Amiya and the Doctor gave her their thumbs up.

“You’re more prone to having Oripathy.” Suzuran corrected her phrasing.

“That. And because a lot of Sarkaz are mercenaries or die early from Oripathy, there are a lot of orphans. That’s okay if you live among Sarkaz, but do you know what happens in other places?” Suddenly Ifrit wasn’t interested in convincing these men. She was venting, teeth gritted, hands clenched into fists. “Infected kids are often abandoned. And with Sarkaz, it happens more.”

Fuck, why was her vision getting blurry? Ifrit stormed out of the room, and Suzuran went after her, handkerchief in hand to dry her tears.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The silence in the room was heavy. Each of them took a moment to process the load they were bearing. Dean was the first to speak. “I’m… Really sorry to hear about the illness that plagues your land. But forcing your souls into children…” His nostrils flared. “That crosses a line.”

“Forcing…?” Amiya tried to ask, then shook her head. She stepped closer to the Winchesters. “I think there’s been a grave misunderstanding. I don’t know what demons are where you come from, but here the Sarkaz don’t do anything with any souls that aren’t Sarkaz.”

The two glared at her, but Sam ventured a “What do you mean?”

“Our ‘demons’, the Sarkaz, are born this way. They are born Sarkaz. With their souls already in their bodies. After they die, well, that’s complicated…”

“What happens after they die?” Dean’s voice was commanding, despite being tied up.
“It’s… Complex. They used to go to this special place but the former King of Sarkaz freed them and–”

“Aha! And?!” Dean insisted.

“And I wish I knew!” Amiya screamed, and covered her mouth with her hands right away, gasping. She took a moment to regain her composure. If she knew what had happened to the Myriad Souls, then maybe she could reach Theresa… No. She couldn’t be stuck in the past. The people here and in Kazdel needed her. She looked at the Doctor and Kal’tsit. She was glad to see they didn’t doubt her determination.

Turning towards the Winchester, she spoke with absolute resolution. “I don’t understand your fears. But if it’s about souls, I can assure you every living Sarkaz has their own soul where it belongs, in their bodies. As for those who pass away, they no longer influence the Sarkaz nor any other person on Terra. I know this, for I am the King of Sarkaz.”

They held each other’s gazes, measuring how much trust they could put on each other. Dean spoke up again.

“But you’re a bunny?”

“A… what?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

6 MONTHS LATER

Operators Moose and Impala, this time knowing where the men’s showers and changing rooms were, happened to take a shower at the same time. As they dried themselves off, Moose said “I saw you drinking with that green haired Oni.”

“Hoshiguma, yes. Asian girls with big boobs, man.” Impala made the gesture of a chef’s kiss.

“So did you…?”

“I tried. She said she would if I out drank her.”

“And…?”

“She drank me under the table.” Impala laughed. “But she left her number in my pocket so I’ll be hitting her up soon. What about you? What you’ve been up to?”

“Hibiscus…” Moose was always sheepish when talking about her, still feeling guilty for attacking her. “Following her diet is hard but worth it. And that guy Mountain, first time I saw him I almost peed my pants, but we’ve been training together and he’s actually quite nice. Very well read. Impossible to keep up with.”

“Yeah… People here are built differently.” They faced opposite sides to let go of their towels and get dressed, but the towels were grabbed back in panic when a portal opened next to them.

“Heeey, Moose, Squirrel, ready to go on an adventure?” Crowley spoke from the other side of the portal, where they couldn’t put his hands on him.

“What do you want?” Sam asked. They had grown fond of this place, but he didn’t have to check to know both of them would jump at the first chance of going back to their own world. Crowley would request a payment though, for the service of interdimensional travel. Dean didn’t think there was a fee. Not when Castiel was standing behind the King of Hell with such a grave look.

“The usual. The world is ending, I don’t want to run out of humans to make pacts with, and I still have to meet a menace I can throw at you and you can’t defeat. So… Come over here, and do your Winchester stuff?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Amiya was doing paperwork, when a familiar portal opened next to her. She still prepared for battle, just in case, but the same man as all those months ago came through, only letting in his upper body.

“I’m afraid the Winchesters are needed, so I’ll borrow them for a while. Here, a token of appreciation, from King of Demons to King of Demons.” Crowley left a coin on Amiya’s desk, and promptly disappeared.

The Cautus stared at the coin, and scrunched up her nose. Her empathy let her feel something was off with that coin. Usually she’d consult with the Doctor, but an object that emanated such evil… She used her arts to destroy the small object, and continued her work.

Notes:

I wasn't sure about Closure's scene, but this was my logic: talking in meta terms, they decapitated her, but her HP didn't drop to zero, that's why she didn't die lol