Chapter Text
The alarm rings out, disturbing him from his sleep. He’d slept more the last few nights, the exhaustion probably catching up with him. Although he was determined to be productive and work his way through his ‘fix it’ list, he was so tired. He just wanted sleep that was free of her. No matter how much he tried to focus on other things; thinking about Aaron when he’s trying to nod off, of Aaron holding him, it always goes back to her.
Trying not to dwell on it and make it worse, he pivots his mind to his upcoming visit to Aaron today. He’ll visit, Aaron will be drug free, and they’ll get back together.
He decides he needs to plan what he’ll say: that he doesn’t want to break up, that he doesn’t want to lose him, that he’s sorry for having a go at him, sorry for not realising Aaron was struggling, that he obviously hasn’t been a very good husband and kept to his vows, he promised to put Aaron first and be better for him, he’ll tell him he loves him.
That will work, won’t it? It has to.
He has a shower, extra hot, and cleans himself up, going back to his room to get dressed. For the past couple days, he’s been wearing Aaron’s clothes, because he both wanted to feel his presence and comfort, but also, he didn’t want to wear his own clothes. Except he doesn’t want Aaron to catch on that something’s wrong, so he pulls out his nice navy jumper – the one Aaron really likes – and some of his fitted jeans – Aaron’s favourite – and dons the persona of ‘everything’s fine’. Plus, he wanted to dress nice for Aaron, hoping he’ll appreciate his effort for him. Though he grabs Aaron’s hoodie before going downstairs, he can just take it off at the prison and leave it in the car, planning to put it back on as soon as the visit ended.
He’s confronted by Liv and Chas upon entering the back room. Chas is behind the kitchen counter making a brew, whilst Liv is finishing up the remnants of her breakfast at the table.
“Rob, you still going to see Aaron today?” the teenager asks, standing up.
“Yeah, I’ll be heading off in a bit.”
Chas had said she wanted to see him again, but said it was best that he goes alone, that way they can properly talk about things and make up. He simply agreed at the time, not really giving it much thought, but now he feels like he could do with some backup, maybe even a go-between between him and Aaron.
“Brew?” Chas tips her head out of the kitchen, holding up a mug.
“Yeah, ta.”
“Can you say hi from me?” Liv asks and he responds with a nod. “And tell him I’m sorry,” she adds quietly.
“Liv, you got nothing to be sorry for.”
“He asked me not to tell you, and if I hadn’t you wouldn’t have fought, and you wouldn't have–”
The start of her spiral is cut off by Chas, “–You did the right thing love.”
“Even though–”
Chas cuts her off again, clearly trying to divert from the event where she keeps leading to, “–Now we can get him help, all of us. Rob will go today, they’ll sort stuff out, then Aaron will be home safe and sound in a few weeks.” She nods at both of them, stating this as fact.
All he can do is nod along and hope she’s right.
“I’m off to Gabby’s.” Liv states walking out the front door.
He makes some toast to go with his brew, it tastes bland, and he can’t stomach more than a few bites, his insides twisting with nerves. He needs today to go well. It had been on his mind all yesterday, he had just gone through the motions trying to waste the day away; getting up, shower, brush teeth, getting dressed in Aaron’s clothes, breakfast, flicking through design magazines until dinner, a small sandwich, watching shit telly, faffing about until tea with Liv and Chas, pretending to eat more than he had, then made excuses about an early night, upstairs, brush teeth again, putting on Aaron’s pyjamas, getting under the covers on Aaron’s side of the bed and willing sleep to stop his racing mind.
He looks up to find he’s all alone, not even registering Chas leaving, probably to open up the pub he figures.
The time on the clock ticks on, he feels like he’s just watching it until it tells him it’s time to leave.
The drive is quiet. No music, no radio, no traffic so he can just plod along until he parks up in the prison’s car park.
He slips out of Aaron’s hoodie, bunching it up under his nose to take one last sniff, breathing it in deep before placing it on the passenger seat and getting out of the car.
Like the other times, him and the rest of the visitors are let into the room, taking seats at individual tables and chairs. Once they’re all sat down, a door at the back of the room is opened, inmates lining up, entering when the metal bar door is opened. They file in, finding their respective visitors. He watches them as he searches for Aaron.
He walks in fiddling with the sleeves of his burgundy jumper, eyes red, and takes a seat opposite him. “Hi,” he quietly greets him, pulling his sleeves over his fists even more.
A lump appears in his throat, stopping him from speaking, so he gives a nod instead, not sure how this is going to work if he can’t even open his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” Aaron starts. “Robert I’m so sorry.”
He still can’t talk, instead he shakes his head.
“You’re angry. Mum said you were sick, but…” he shakes off his train of thought. “You told her.”
“I had to,” he snaps, finding his voice. “I was so worried about you, and last time you were…”
“I haven’t taken anything since the last time I saw ya, I swear. Robert, I know I’ve messed everything up big time, but I didn’t mean what I said.” He can see tears pool in his eyes. “Robert, I’m sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am,” he chokes out.
“What for?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Has something happened?”
“You could say that,” he laughs out bitterly.
“What? What is it?” Aaron asks sounding desperate.
“I thought you hated me. I thought we were over.” He could feel his own eyes beginning to water.
“I know Robert, and I’m so sorry. It’s this place, it got to me. You don’t understand what it’s like, you’re always edgy, you’re constantly watching your back.”
Funny, the past few days, he knows exactly what that’s like.
“The drugs… It meant that I didn’t have to face reality. But I’ve stopped now, I promise, never again.” Tears fall from Aaron’s eyes, down his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I just want to be out of here, be with you again, it’s all I care about.”
“That’s all I want,” he says just above a whisper. “But I was angry, I was confused.” He needs to explain, “I did something stupid.”
“Stupid like what?”
He winces, Rebecca flashing through his head.
“Come on, just get it over with and tell me–”
“–The things you said,” he jumps in.
“Yeah I know, but that wasn’t me talking Robert, that was the drugs. Why do you think I’ve stopped? I’d do anything for you.”
“I’ve let you down, I’m sorry.” He knows he’s ruined everything, he should never have invited her ‘round.
“What have you done?”
He goes to speak but it chokes in his throat. He swallows and tries again. “I trashed the flat,” he blurts out as soon as it pops into his head.
“What?” He looks very puzzled.
“I got drunk and smashed it up.”
“And that’s it?”
“That’s it,” he nods, “I’m sorry.”
Aaron lets out a deep breath. “You have no idea how scared I’ve been.”
“Yeah, me too.” An understated truth.
“So are we okay?” Aaron tentatively asks.
“I don’t wanna lose you,” he sobs.
“Robert–”
“–I’m sorry, I’ve failed you. You’ve been struggling, and I- I didn’t notice. I should have been there for you, I shouldn’t have had a go at you when I found out, I should have been better, then we wouldn’t have fought and then…”
“Robert, It’s not your fault,” Aaron tries assuring him, a perplexed look covering his face.
“I promised to put you first and instead I got angry and smashed up our new house, I–”
“–I messed up,” he cuts off Robert, “I promised to not let you down again, and I have.”
“Yeah, but you’ve clearly been struggling and I haven’t helped you, I mean it’s my fault these lot know you’re gay.”
“I probably wouldn’t’ve been able to pull it off anyway.”
“Still–”
“–No Robert. Look I just want us back. Mum says I’ve got only a few weeks left ‘cause my appeal went through. Then it’ll be back to how it was, before, just us.” He sounds hopeful. “And Liv,” he adds with a huffy laugh.
“Yeah, just us,” he agrees. “We’ll be together, our family, and things will be better. I’ve got Liv a tutor whilst she’s on suspension and I’ll get to work on fixing the flat up.” He rushes out, trying to reassure himself more than Aaron. “We’ll be okay.”
An eeriness runs through him. As much as he wants to believe that, deep down he knows things aren’t going to work out for him, nevertheless he pushes that thought into the back of his mind, buries it, needing to focus on what he needs to do to get his family back on track.
-----
They’d found her the best solicitor, pricy and revered. Lawrence had been livid when Chrissie filled him in on Robert’s latest scheme, his disappointment in Rebecca for sleeping with him apparent but not voiced. Instead, he let out about Robert’s audacity, cockroach-ness and huffed a complaint about the number of defence lawyers he’s needed to hire for his family members over the past few years. She has a brief thought that there’s probably an alert set out across all defence lawyers for when a White is in trouble so they can all angle to get a big hiring cheque. They’ve already had offers from unknown solicitors. However, it wouldn’t work out for them, her dad would only choose the top, most competent, trustworthy team of lawyers. He made a point for it, muttering distaste for Chrissie’s previous choice of Rakesh as counsel.
She’s also had to run that night through over and over with them, then again with her defence team. It was beginning to get tiring, how many more times did she have to explain, and now what she thought was amazing, getting back with Robert, has now been turned sordid by his lies.
‘He must not be thinking straight,’ she thinks to herself, repeating as she has to go through the next steps in her case. He’s obviously just had a wobble about them, feeling guilty about Aaron, and has dug himself a hole. She’s hoping he hurries up and gets out of it, because talking about the details of her sex life is embarrassing.
So far, her team reckons they have a good case; her and Robert have had a previous sexual relationship, a past, Robert’s got form for cheating and lying, they’ve got the text of him inviting her round, and her voicemails for him the day after. Their only worry is the forensic evidence yet to be released. They presume that the results will confirm the intercourse between her and Robert yet will be inconclusive as to whether the sex was consensual or not. That will be harder to prove from both sides of the investigation.
Now they were all try to gain some normality by carrying on with work. There was a brief period between meetings where they were sat in silence, her, Chrissie and their dad. A tension was in the air that no-one wanted to address.
The only time they really discussed what happened was when her defence team was here, who they scheduled around Ronnie. She’d told her dad she didn’t want him to know, that it should just stay between the three of them, despite his protests that Ronnie was currently doing up Robert’s house. Rebecca begged him to leave it, that she didn’t want anyone else knowing or people asking questions if Ronnie stopped working on The Mill. He didn’t like it but reluctantly agreed.
Their meetings were done for the morning, and they had none in the afternoon, her dad wrapping up in the office whilst she and Chrissie broke into a bottle of wine in the living room. Her big sister assuring her Robert won’t get away with this ridiculous rouse. A knock on the door occurs when Lawrence exits the office, and he’s opening it to a group of officers and that Taylor detective, sporting an arrest warrant for her.
She’s dragged off in handcuffs, speechless at this absurdity, her dad and sister loudly claiming the same, him telling her not to say anything until her solicitors get there.
She ends up stuck in a cell till they’re ‘ready for her’, a blatant ploy to make her sweat, nevertheless it succeed in putting her on edge. What if they don’t believe her? They wouldn’t be doing this now if they didn’t believed Robert over her, would they?
Finally, she’s taken to a room with her solicitor in, and is given time to run through their strategy for the interview, which is ‘no comment’ to everything, so they know what they’re up against. In the interview room, sitting across from Taylor and the other detective from before, she does just that. Even when they state the preliminary forensic results show evidence of sexual intercourse between her and Robert. Even when they explain that physical injuries were found on Robert, nail markings and bruising on his wrists, hips, thighs and to his genitals, using the words ‘penile trauma’. Even when they showed the results of the toxicology report, with Robert’s blood alcohol concentration estimated to be almost 3 times the threshold for severe impairment, where ‘individuals may be unable to respond effectively or make coherent decisions’. She sat and said ‘no comment’ to every question, no matter how much she wanted to argue and defend herself. She sat and bit her tongue.
They informed her they were charging her. They were charging her with rape, with sexual assault.
All she could do is nod along to her conditions for bail, stare at her family as her solicitor updates them, let her sister pull her under her arm to their car, unable to speak on the long drive home.
-----
“We arrested Miss White. The preliminary forensic results contained clear evidence of sexual assault, and the CPS has agreed there is enough significant evidence and have charged. She has been released on bail, but her restraining order is still in place.
We’re continuing to build the case, making sure it’s strong enough to withstand the trial. We’ll keep you informed of next steps and anything important you would need to know. In the meantime, your ISVA should be in touch with you and support you throughout this time.”
That’s what DS Taylor had informed him over the phone. He’d shut himself in his room to answer the call and now 15 minutes after it had ended, he was fixed in the same position, perched on the end of his bed, his phone still in his hand, fingers trembling, tears streaming down his face.
He doesn’t know why he’s been crying. She’d been charged. They believed him. Either that or they believed the evidence they’d found on him. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is she’s being charged. She’ll be found guilty and be out of his life. He hopes it’ll happen with no one finding out and then it’ll be just him and his family, Aaron and Liv, he’ll be happy.
-----
Lawrence, Chrissie and the solicitor had been talking about her, over her, whilst she sat in silence between them. He told her not to worry, that his team’ll build her a strong case before he left. Her dad left soon after, mumbling something about work, sloping off to the office.
Chrissie on the other hand was still pent up about the situation, pacing back and forth in front of her.
“Robert’s done a lot of bad things, crazy things in his time, just to get what he wants. But this? Even I didn’t think he could sink this low. And how are the police buying it? It doesn’t make any sense.” She stops her pacing and moves to sit down directly in front of where Rebecca is sat in the armchair. “Look, if there’s something you’re not saying, say it.”
The command took her by surprise. “Like what?”
“Like between you and Robert.”
“Meaning?”
“I don’t know. But they said they charged you because the preliminary results showed evidence of sexual assault.”
“And you think I did it?” She exclaims, hurt that her own sister might think that.
“No. No. Of course not,” she protests waving a hand out. “But they must have something to go on. What did they exactly say in the interview?”
She takes a deep sigh, “They said he had a lot of alcohol in his system, but we’d both been drinking and he undoubtedly knew what he was doing. I mean he came on to me.”
“Sounds right,” Chrissie huffed.
“They also said he had some physical injuries.”
“Injuries? Like what?”
“A few bruises, and I might’ve dug my nails in a bit too much, but that happens during sex. We were excited and it was quite… passionate, and everything.” She hides the small smile that appears on her face when remembering their night together.
“And that’s it?”
“Yeah. That’s all they said.” She pauses, a frown growing on her face, “Why is he doing this to me?”
“Oh Bex,” she sighs. “Robert’s a user. Always has been, always will be. It’s what he does.” She places her hands on Rebecca’s knees, “He’s ruined my life, he’s ruined Lucky’s, now he’s trying to ruin yours. We won’t let him. I promise.”
Chrissies sounds so determined, Rebecca can only nod in response, then is quickly pulled into a crushing hug by her big sister, being wrapped up in her arms.
When they break apart, they begin brainstorming what to do.
“We can’t let him get away with this,” Chrissie reiterates as she gets up and starts pacing again.
-----
The portacabin was cold. Air steadily blowing through the windows that were on the latch. His fingers felt somewhat numb, but he didn’t budge to close them. He sort of liked the chill as he tries to distract himself from Rebecca’s arrest with work.
High heels click up the steal steps, and he looks up as the door is pushed open. Chrissie is stood there with a scowl firmly planted on her face. Dread seeps into his gut. He has a terrible feeling that she knows. She saunters further in, putting on an aura of superiority.
“Looks like you’ve done it again Robert.”
His eyes close for a moment as he shakes his head in confusion, “Wha- Sorry?”
“You should be. What kind of low-life makes something like that up? Well you obviously,” she instantly answers her own question.
“I- I didn’t–”
“–Save it,” she cuts him off, “If this is to cover up your cheating or simply another ruse to destroy us, another stupid revenge plot… Either way, you need to stop this.”
“Revenge?” he asks incredulously.
“For Andy. You trying to get back at my family, at me. I mean you’ve already put Lucky in pris–”
“–It’s not about you,” he interjects.
“So it’s to hide your dirty secret,” she concludes.
It sends a chill up his spine, his stomach twisting more, because he does feel dirty – it is his dirty secret.
“No. I- It- I- I’m not lying,” he struggles to get the sentence out, somewhat baffled by this situation, of having to explain himself to her.
She lets out a laugh, a proper laugh, loud and cruel on his ears.
‘How did he ever love that?’ the thought pops in.
“All you do is lie. It’s all you’ve ever done. You’re the greatest liar I’ve ever met. You’re probably the greatest liar anyone ‘round here has ever met.”
He flinches at her words, a mistake on his part as she catches it. She smirks and comes in closer, “You’re worse than the boy who cried wolf, as unlike you he told the truth in the end, but his lies ruined his life, and we all know what happened to him in the end.” She looks at him dead on, “So stop this, now, or you’ll be eaten alive.”
With that she turns and saunters out, heels clicking down the steps, across the gravel. He hears her car start and quieten as she drives away.
He sits there, still staring at where she had been standing. He didn’t think about this. He was normally good at thinking about these things, what people would do, he’s normally good at strategies and interpreting people’s actions. Yet he didn’t see this. He thought it was just him against Rebecca, didn’t even consider her family getting involved. He should’ve. No doubt Lawrence is getting her the best defence team. Chrissie scheming away. Now it’s him verses the Whites. With no back up this time. No Aaron.
He’s on his own. Again. He doesn’t want to be, but the thought of Aaron, of anyone finding out- he can’t. So he’s on his own again.