Work Text:
Lan Zhan stares at his phone. This is… not quite where he had expected this text exchange to go.
Wei Ying: srry this is super lats minte but its like. urgent. are you free today??
Lan Zhan: Yes, I am. What is wrong?
Wei Ying: jie and i are working a party this afternoon, would you maybe be willing to be apirate for us??
“What?” Lan Zhan says out loud. He repeats himself over text.
Lan Zhan: What?
He definitely does not flinch when, seconds later, his phone screen is filled with the photo of Wei Ying’s beaming face that Lan Zhan set as his contact.
“Hello,” he says as he answers the phone, but, like always, Wei Ying barrels right over him.
“Oh my god, Lan Zhan, I just realized I, like, never told you what I do for work? Well, you know I work at the theater, but that’s honestly more like my side gig, haha. Anyway. So. Jiejie, Jiang Cheng, and I are mermaids!”
Silence, for a moment.
“You’re… mermaids?”
“Well, Jiejie is a mermaid. Jiang Cheng and I are technically mermen. But, y’know. Semantics.”
Lan Zhan frowns. He knows it’s unlikely, but he still has to check. “Are you… really mermaids?”
Another beat of silence. And then Wei Ying bursts into laughter. “No, no! It’s all just pretend. Mostly we’ve done kids’ birthday parties so far, but we’re looking at doing more… I don’t wanna say 'professional' cause that implies the parties aren’t professional, but like. Shows in aquariums or something.”
Lan Zhan hums. He’s known for a long time that Wei Ying has some sort of performance art group with his siblings, though the exact specifications of it were a mystery. Mermaiding does make perfect sense, though. All three of the Jiang siblings are incredibly skilled swimmers, and all three of them are naturally, ethereally beautiful. That still doesn’t explain the most absurd part of this, though. “I see. And you want me to perform with you? As… a pirate?”
“I mean, kinda? But, like. Not really. You’d basically be our assistant. Help us get into our tails, make sure no kids see us before we’re ready, stuff like that. You don’t even have to dress like a pirate if you don’t want to; that’s just the nickname for it.”
Well, that’s not. Too bad. Plus, it gets him out of his uncle’s house for the afternoon, and he’ll be able to spend time with Wei Ying for a few hours, even if it is around children.
“Okay,” he says.
“Please?” Wei Ying says. The words that follow are all said almost in the same breath. “It’s supposed to be Jiang Cheng’s turn to be our pirate, but he has a big project for his business classes and has to spend the weekend working on it, and when he can’t make it, Jin Zixuan would help, but he woke up with a bad cold this morning, and so he can’t make it, so we just need someone we trust to help out, and you were the first person to come to mind. You don’t even need to talk to the kids if you don’t want to, or—”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan cuts him off. “I said yes.”
He can hear the sound of Wei Ying’s jaw click shut. “Oh. Awesome!”
Lan Zhan hums, and he knows Wei Ying will hear the humor in it.
Lan Zhan finds himself staring at Wei Ying as he slides into the backseat of Jiang Yanli’s tiny silver car. He always finds Wei Ying attractive, but today, he’s… gorgeous. He’s wearing smoky brown eye makeup, and there are a few small red gemstones glued to one of his cheeks. His hair is tied up in a high ponytail and has been curled, and there are several small red ribbons braided into it.
“Hey, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying cried, grinning and waving at him, as if there’s not less than three feet of distance between them.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan finally says, nodding. He tears his gaze away from Wei Ying and turns to his sister, behind the wheel. “Jiang Yanli. Hello.”
Yanli has been styled very similarly, though her eyeshadow is a dusty pink, and her gems and ribbons are lavender. “Hi, Lan Zhan. Are you ready?”
Lan Zhan hums. Jiang Yanli hums in response, and turns the car on. As they pull away from the curb, ‘Jolly Sailor Bold’ starts playing from the car’s radio. Lan Zhan raises his eyebrow, this isn’t Wei Ying’s normal taste in music, and he’d be surprised if this is what the gentle Jiang Yanli typically enjoys. Laughing, Wei Ying holds up his phone, which is connected to the aux, and shows Lan Zhan a playlist of sea shanties.
“This is what we always listen to on our way to gigs, gets us in the right mood to be mermaids!” he explains. Ah, that makes sense. Lan Zhan gives a small smile and nods.
The mother of the birthday girl helps the three of them sneak into the pool shed in their backyard while the birthday girl and the guests are inside eating cake. Once the mother has left and the door is closed, Jiang Yanli and Wei Ying take off the loose exercise jackets they’d both been wearing on the drive over.
Lan Zhan forces himself to continue breathing normally.
He’s seen Wei Ying shirtless before, has attended several swim competitions he’s participated in, sure, but. Something about this is different. Wei Ying is wearing an intricate necklace of red ribbon, ruby crystals, and black seashells. There are a few of the same gems on his face littered across his chest and arms as well.
“Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying calls, and Lan Zhan snaps back into reality. He gets the sense this isn’t the first time Wei Ying has said his name. Oops.
He forces himself to make eye contact with Wei Ying and hums.
“I can get my tail on myself, but Jiejie’s tail has a zipper, do you think you can help her with that?” Wei Ying asks.
Ah, right. This is one of the main things they’d wanted him here for today. He nods, and turns to Jiang Yanli, who is sitting on the floor, smiling pleasantly. She’s wearing a pink sparkling seashell top, and there are vines with lavender flower petals wrapped around her arms. The fins on her tail also look like flower petals, and it fades from purple at the top to pink towards the bottom.
“Are you okay with me helping you?” he asks her. “May I touch you?”
She chuckles and nods. “Of course, Lan Zhan! That’s why we asked you, because we trust you. Thank you for asking, though.”
Lan Zhan nods again and kneels down to help her. She pulls her tail on and rolls onto her stomach, allowing Lan Zhan to access the zipper. Once that’s sorted and she’s comfortable, he stands up, and finds Wei Ying watching them and smiling, his tail already on. His tail is a more stereotypical mermaid shape, and is striped red and black.
“Time check, A-Ying?” Jiang Yanli asks as she sits up.
Wei Ying grabs his phone and checks the time. “We have seven minutes until cake and presents are over. Is that enough time for you to carry both of us to the pool, Lan Zhan? Or do you wanna go with Plan B?”
The initial plan was for Jiang Yanli and Wei Ying to be sitting at the edge of the pool for the birthday girl to find when her parents ask her to open the curtains in the kitchen, which face out towards the backyard. Lan Zhan will need to carry them out so they can get into position, since neither of them can walk anymore.
“Seven minutes should be enough,” he affirms. He’s already right next to Jiang Yanli, so he turns to her first. “May I pick you up?”
Again, Jiang Yanli smiles and agrees easily. It doesn’t take much for him to carry her to the spot she directs him towards, though the tail is much heavier than he expected. Once she’s settled, he leaves her and goes back to the shed for Wei Ying. His request for permission to pick him up is met with a loud laugh and a “Duh, Lan Zhan!” He brings Wei Ying out to the pool, and situates him next to his sister.
“Oh! Your hat!” Wei Ying cries after they’re ready. “I totally forgot but I brought a hat for you to wear, it should be clipped to my tail bag! Also, do you mind carrying my phone in one of your pockets, just in case?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan intones, and returns to the pool shed one last time. He finds the hat quickly, and puts it on. He did make an attempt to dress like a pirate, but the hat really sells it. He also grabs Wei Ying’s phone and slips it into his pocket, returning to the merfolk just as a loud screech erupts from the house.
“She definitely saw us!” Jiang Yanli giggles.
“Show time!” Wei Ying says, jokingly wiggling his eyebrows.
After that first birthday party, Lan Zhan is added to their permanent roster of backup pirates. He ends up helping with several more parties over the following months, and once they do start performing in places like aquariums, he often tags along to help out when need be.