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"There were behemoths approaching from every side - when the war of the beasts brings about the world's end! - and it seemed certain that those poor Thirds would perish, but then I… Sephiroth, are you even listening?"
Sephiroth jerked his head up. "Hm?"
Genesis was standing in front of his desk, arms folded, looking rather exasperated. Behind him, at his own desk, Angeal was fighting a smile.
It was early morning, and the three First Class SOLDIERS were, ostensibly, getting a bit of paperwork done before missions and meetings began in earnest - although as was common it had quickly devolved from "working quietly" to "being Genesis' audience".
Sephiroth didn't mind. He even enjoyed it most of the time, his packmate's melodic voice a welcome break from the drone of the air conditioning unit in the otherwise silent office.
'Packmate' - it still took Sephiroth by surprise sometimes, that his two best friends had welcomed him into their arms, their beds, their lives. Their presence made Sephiroth feel at ease in a way he never had before, not just accepted but loved. He treasured them more than anything else in the world…
"Hello?" Genesis snapped his fingers in front of Sephiroth's face. "Gaia to Sephiroth? I was unaware you were the new head of the Space Exploration Department."
He valued them more than anything else in the world… most of the time. Sephiroth resisted the urge to bite Genesis' hand.
They were an odd little pack by conventional standards - Angeal, the calm, kind, level headed alpha everyone assumed was a beta; Genesis, the flirtatious, flashy, emotional beta everyone assumed was an omega; and Sephiroth, the stern, strong, distant omega everyone assumed was an alpha.
But the assumptions born from reductive stereotypes meant nothing to them. Over the years they had learned to navigate each other's eccentricities, and they all felt more at ease knowing none of them were expected to fit a certain mold. Sephiroth couldn't imagine being bonded to anyone else.
"Maybe he's just tired of hearing your tall tales," Angeal said dryly, getting up and stretching his back.
"I'll have you know everything I say is completely factual," Genesis sniffed. Angeal and Sephiroth shared a look over his shoulder.
"Anyway, it's about time I head out," Genesis continued. "Those new Thirds won't train themselves."
"I'd better get back to paperwork," said Angeal. "There's a board meeting this afternoon and Lazard wants me present - something about my 'hands-on experience in the field'."
Genesis humphed. "He's hoping you'll intimidate Heidegger into making some budget concessions, most likely."
"We'll see," said Angeal, though he sounded far from optimistic. "How about you, Sephiroth?"
Sephiroth saved his document and made sure his physical files were neatly stacked. "I'm being sent on a solo mission to exterminate a malboro nest."
Angeal and Genesis winced.
"My friend, the fates are cruel," Genesis recited mournfully. "Seems you drew the short straw today."
"I can handle it," said Sephiroth, perhaps a touch defensively.
"We know," Angeal said gently, "but we still worry."
"…Mm." Sephiroth dipped his head, letting his hair conceal his eyes. That anyone would worry about him - not his performance or his upkeep or his image, just him - still felt novel at times.
"You're drifting off again," Genesis huffed. "What ever is the matter?"
"Nothing," Sephiroth said automatically. He stood in a single fluid movement and - swayed. He had to grab the edge of his desk, unsteady on his feet.
Genesis reached for him, but restrained himself just in time to not actually touch, hand hovering by Sephiroth's elbow. "My Goddess, Sephiroth, are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Sephiroth took a deep breath and straightened up. "I just felt a little lightheaded."
Angeal took half a step closer, subtly scenting the air.
"Are you having one of those false heats?" he murmured.
"…possibly," Sephiroth admitted.
The fact that heat suppressants weren't 100% effective on his unique biology wasn't a secret in their group, but it wasn't something Sephiroth liked to talk about either - or needed to. His suppressants functioned perfectly as birth control, and if he could operate normally while sporting burns and bullet wounds then the slightly elevated body temperature and mild cramps that came with false heats weren't going to hinder him.
Nonetheless Angeal and Genesis immediately moved closer, almost crowding him, a deeply ingrained instinct demanding they 'support' the 'vulnerable' member of their pack. If this was what they were like with a false heat Sephiroth would hate to see what happened during a real one.
His distaste must have shown in his expression because Angeal looked a little sheepish. Genesis however had no such grace.
"Look after yourself," he said sternly. "No skipping meals today."
"Yes, packmatron," Sephiroth said dryly, smirking at Genesis' offended gasp.
"He's right though," said Angeal, ignoring Sephiroth's withering stare. "We know you can look after yourself, just… please be careful? For us?"
"…I'll try," said Sephiroth. He truly didn't want to worry them.
And, well, the more efficiently he completed his mission, the more time they'd have together that night. False heats could still be fun, after all.
The extermination was a standard if somewhat drawn out affair - not because his prey was particularly challenging but because Sephiroth was strangely unfocused.
Heat cramps were building, a dull ache that spanned from his lower abdomen to his thighs, but far worse was the ceaseless urge to just give up and go home. Sephiroth found himself yearning for his pack and his nest in a way he never did outside his heats. It was embarrassing, frustrating and unforgivably distracting. His movements were slow and his attacks were sloppy, which only dragged out an already unpleasant task.
It put him in a foul mood. By the time Sephiroth was stalking through the halls of Shinra Tower people were leaping out of his way. Good. He was tired, dirty and his cramps were only getting worse, expanding to include his lower back. He went straight to his apartment, wishing a quick shower would wash away his emotions as it would wash away the dirt, blood and bits of monster gut.
Feeling slightly more at ease in the privacy of his own bathroom, Sephiroth stripped down, not surprised to see a few drops of watery blood against the grey of his underwear. Sometimes it felt like the only difference between a false heat and a real one was the inability to get pregnant.
He set his folded clothes on the counter beside the sink and lay his pauldrons on top, glancing in the mirror before stepping into the shower. He'd gained a bit of weight over the last year or so - abdomen rounding out a little, hips and thighs softening slightly. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Shinra's PR department, but Sephiroth didn't care what they thought. Angeal and Genesis took it as proof that they were sufficiently providing for him, and Sephiroth was just relieved he was finally filling out after his last growth spurt had left him mostly limb.
Besides, if it was actually a problem Hojo would have corrected it by now.
Cold water washed over Sephiroth for a few minutes before he gave into the urge to put it on hot. What was it Genesis said - he 'deserved a little treat'? The warmth soothed his frayed nerves, and the sound of the water made for calming background noise. Sephiroth leaned his forehead against the wall, simply enjoying the sensation for a moment before grabbing his shampoo and getting to work.
Washing his hair properly was a lengthy process, but there was comfort in the familiar routine. The soapy bubbles swirling down the drain seemed to take his stress with them, finally giving Sephiroth a moment to relax.
Except the cramps didn't stop. They got worse.
Sephiroth shifted, brow furrowing as he rolled his weight from foot to foot. He could cope with the pain, but this felt far worse than what he was used to from a false heat, and with the pain came an odd pressure in his lower abdomen that became stronger and stronger with each wave of cramping.
Something was wrong, clearly, but Sephiroth had no idea what. Had his suppressants failed, and now his body was taking revenge by giving him the worst heat cramps he'd ever felt? But this didn't feel like heat, not even a false one - the fever and urges that defined them were completely absent. There was only pain.
Logic told him to go to Medical, but instinct screamed at him not to. The thought of leaving his apartment sent prickles of fear down his spine, which in itself was alarming.
So Sephiroth stayed where he was, moving only to widen his stance, a position that eased the strain on his lower back somewhat. Maybe he could ride it out, he thought desperately. Maybe it would go away.
The next cramp made him double over, choking on a gasp. Eyes clenched shut, Sephiroth was completely at the mercy of his body, forced to stand and wait for the agony to fade. The pressure reached a terrible peak before releasing abruptly with what felt like a dull pop from inside him.
Sephiroth let out a breath and straightened up. He opened his eyes.
Pink fluid was swirling down the drain, pouring from between his legs.
Pain gripped him like a steel vice, even greater than before. Sephiroth sank to his knees, heart pounding, breath coming in staccato gasps as he finally realised what was happening to him.
He dragged the shower door open, heedless of the water pouring onto the tiles, and crawled just far enough to grab the corner of his coat. He pulled it towards him, knocking his pauldrons to the floor in the process. Half in and half out of the stall, Sephiroth fumbled for his PHS, wet fingers sliding over the screen.
Eventually he found Angeal's number. He lowered his head, hair falling in a sodden veil around him.
Angeal answered on the third ring.
"Sephiroth?" he said, concern and confusion clear in his voice.
Sephiroth breathed raggedly. He couldn't speak. He couldn't think.
"What's the matter?" Angeal asked, voice taking on a soothing rumble.
"I… I..." Sephiroth grit his teeth, steeled himself, managed to force the words out, "I am having a miscarriage."
Silence.
Then came a crash from the PHS as Angeal stood so fast he sent his chair flying. Distant voices echoed down in the line, loud with alarm.
"Where are you?" Angeal demanded.
"Apartment," Sephiroth managed. He hoped Angeal could hear the shower running in the background.
"I'm coming," Angeal said. "Stay right there, I'm - yes it's an emergency, Heidegger!"
The burst of anger had Sephiroth clamping a hand over his mouth as a sharp, frightened keen escaped his throat.
"I'm sorry," Angeal said immediately. Sephiroth could hear him running, footsteps pounding down the corridor. "I am so sorry, Sephiroth. Listen, I'm going to get Genesis, and we'll meet you there, ok?"
"Ok," Sephiroth whispered.
The call cut off. Sephiroth retreated back into the shower, curling up in the corner. The pain came in waves while he waited, unmoving, until the bathroom door flew open.
"Sephiroth!"
Genesis dropped to his knees and pulled Sephiroth effortlessly into his arms. Angeal reached over both of them and turned the shower off.
"We've got you," he said, squeezing Sephiroth's shoulder. "Gen, you dry him off while I prepare the nest. This could be rough."
Genesis' touch was so tender. His hands stroked Sephiroth's body, expert use of fire materia leaving him warm and dry in their wake. They started braiding his hair, faint steam rising as nimble fingers ran gently through the strands. Sephiroth closed his eyes.
"Hey," Genesis said softly, "can you stand?"
Slowly, with Genesis' help, Sephiroth got to his feet. He felt weak in a way he never had before, so shocked and distressed it was taking a physical toll. He didn't even know if he wanted a child, but now he was losing one, and he didn't have a choice.
Genesis helped him into the bedroom. Angeal had built up the nest, stacking pillows and rolling blankets so that Sephiroth could comfortably recline. He'd also taken every towel and laid them out, so hopefully the mattress wouldn't be ruined.
"Here-" Angeal reached out and helped Sephiroth lie down, nuzzling his jaw against Sephiroth's neck as he did so. Genesis stripped to the waist and Angeal copied him, adding their clothes to the nest before carefully tucking Sephiroth between them, Angeal at his front and Genesis curled against his back.
"Anything else we can do?" Angeal murmured.
"Can you… can you scruff me?" Sephiroth asked hesitantly.
"Of course, Seph."
Angeal's hand was warm and heavy as he gently, so gently, gripped the back of Sephiroth's neck. Immediately, the last of the tension bled away and Sephiroth went limp with a sigh of relief. After a moment he gave into the urge to bite Angeal's shoulder, not in a mating or claiming way but just to hold on, to be close.
He was vaguely aware of Angeal and Genesis sharing a worried look over his head, and no wonder - scruffing wasn't supposed to work on adults. It was supposed to be something cubs grew out of as they gained independence. But Sephiroth had never been treated like a cub, had never been scruffed and groomed and cuddled by his pack, and so his brain had never developed the neural pathways required to resist such things. It left him embarrassingly easy to subdue, but fortunately nobody had ever thought to counter First Class SOLDIER Sephiroth by hugging him.
Normally Sephiroth would hate this. He couldn't stand being restrained, not even by the loving arms of his pack. But now his instincts were begging for it, the warmth and weight of his companions the only thing that could keep him grounded.
"Thank you," Sephiroth whispered. It was about all he could manage.
Angeal and Genesis started to purr. After a few minutes Sephiroth felt the fog clearing from his mind.
"Back with us, Seph?" Angeal asked, voice coming out deep and rumbling.
He released Sephiroth's neck, slowly rubbing the scent gland instead. It felt sore and inflamed, but the massage helped. Sephiroth managed his first deep breath in what felt like days.
"Yes." He shifted onto his back, carefully probing the tight muscles of his abdomen as another cramp tightened its grip. "Genesis, cast Sense. Check for internal bleeding."
Genesis did as he was told, frowning slightly in concentration. "I don't detect any hemorrhaging," he reported.
Sephiroth took another breath. Let it out slowly. "That's good."
"I don't suppose you want go to Medical?" Angeal asked cautiously.
Sephiroth flinched, violently shaking his head as he tried to tuck himself even further into the nest. Medical would mean Hojo, and Hojo would mean being strapped down to a cold table under bright lights to be prodded and probed and left to suffer silently all in the name of science. Sephiroth couldn't take it, not now, not with something like this.
"Alright, alright, no medics," Angeal soothed. "Not unless there are complications."
"I'll monitor him," said Genesis. "You'll be alright, Seph."
They held him between them as the cramps waxed and waned, growing more and more intense as the minutes ticked into hours.
Sephiroth could handle pain - but this wasn't pain caused by a stab or slash or a burn or a bullet, it didn't come from a wound. This was pain caused by his own body, unfamiliar and frightening, and there was nothing he could do except let it run its course. He panted for breath, shivering and sweating. He writhed, fruitlessly seeking escape. He clutched at the sheets, then at his companions' hands as they held his.
Even his packmates' comforting purrs could do little to help. They must be distressed, Sephiroth thought in a moment of clarity. This must be frightening for them. But they followed his wishes and didn't contact Medical. Sephiroth would find a way to thank them later.
The cramps weren't abating anymore. There was no relief, waves becoming a deluge and with it came the urge to bare down, to push.
Sephiroth didn't fight it. He'd do anything, just to make it stop. His abdomen strained and he whimpered, a sound that had his packmates frantic.
"That's it," Angeal said sharply, "he needs help. I'm calling Medical."
"Don't!" Genesis snapped. "Do you want him to hate us forever?!"
"I want him to still be alive tomorrow!"
"He isn't dying, Geal, cast Sense and see for yourself."
"Then what the hell is going on?!"
Sephiroth was barely listening, half deafened by the blood roaring in his ears. He turned onto his side, anchoring himself against the warm, steady body of the alpha in front of him. He was aware of magic tingling over his skin, of beta hands touching him, feeling his lower belly and prodding gently at the slit between his legs.
"Um, I don't think this is a miscarriage-"
Sephiroth didn't care what it was. He could feel something inside him, a mass creeping lower and lower with every spike of pain, and he wanted it out.
Gentle hands guided his leg up. Soft lips pressed kisses to his brow. He pushed.
A terrible stretch. Pain, burning hot, then shockingly cold. Sephiroth thought he might have screamed. Something heavy and solid was tearing him open from the inside.
It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt-
-and then it was over.
Sephiroth collapsed into Angeal's arms with a weak, cracked groan.
He was vaguely aware of his packmates talking, then of being eased onto his back and covered by a blanket, but all Sephiroth wanted in that moment was to sleep. He was so tired. His belly still hurt, but it was nothing compared to before. He could rest.
Then a small, mewling cry wrenched him awake.
Sephiroth dragged his eyes open. His vision swam for a moment before focusing on Angeal and Genesis, both bent over something in Genesis' hands. They turned to him, wide-eyed and pale faced, and Genesis tucked a small, bloodied bundle under the blanket on Sephiroth's chest.
A cub.
A living, breathing cub.
It looked at him with big blue eyes, seeming just as confused as Sephiroth felt. It gave another cry, and Sephiroth instinctively raised his hands, cupping it safely against his body.
It was so small.
"W… what?" Sephiroth managed.
"Yeah," Angeal said shakily, "I think we're all wondering that."
"Infinite in fucking mystery," Genesis muttered. Then he lay down at Sephiroth's side, looking at the newborn with a reverence usually reserved for his Goddess.
Angeal mirrored him a moment later, so very gently running a finger over the cub's dark hair.
"You had no idea, did you?" he murmured.
Sephiroth could only shake his head.
"How?" Genesis blurted. "I mean-" He laughed, slightly hysterical, "-this is quite a significant thing to miss!"
"I don't know," Sephiroth whispered.
He mentally counted back over the last nine months. Had he really not noticed anything? He was so used to ignoring his body, so used to dismissing every passing ache and pain as something temporary and banal, and he realised with creeping horror that there had been signs. Mood swings, cravings, even intermittent bleeding that he'd simply passed off as symptoms of false heats or mere stress.
The cub didn't seem to notice his turmoil, nosing around until it found Sephiroth's left breast and starting to suckle.
"It's a girl, by the way," Genesis added. "Unless she tells us otherwise someday."
A girl…
A daughter…
Sephiroth's breathing hitched. His vision blurred. He blinked, and tears rolls down his cheeks.
"Seph, my darling, what's wrong?" Genesis asked anxiously.
"We have a c-cub," Sephiroth sobbed. "We have a cub, we have a cub…"
For a while it was them and their newborn in the comfort of their nest, nuzzling and purring until the tears ran their course.
"So." Genesis cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. "Not to ruin this delightful scene, but seriously, how did this happen? You've had medical checkups, Seph - which idiot do I need to set on fire?"
"For once I agree," said Angeal, a ferocity in his voice even as he kept it to a murmur. "This was blatant medical neglect."
Sephiroth hesitated, gazing it his cub as she started chirping with frustration even while continuing to suckle.
He hadn't told his companions the full extent of how Hojo had treated him growing up. Sephiroth was an adult now, no longer at Hojo's mercy, and he didn't want to burden them with the knowledge of something they had no control over. The past was in the past.
Only now, it wasn't.
Lazard may be director of SOLDIER, but Hojo still oversaw Sephiroth's physical health. There was no way something as significant as pregnancy had escaped his notice. He did scans, took blood tests - and prescribed Sephiroth's heat suppressants.
Old, bitter anger crept through Sephiroth's veins.
The last false heat he'd shared - which clearly hadn't been false at all - had been a little over eight months ago. Sephiroth had been deployed since then. He'd been on the field, barely eating, hardly sleeping, in active combat while pregnant.
And Hojo must have known.
Sephiroth looked at his daughter. He didn't know much about newborns, but it was clear she wasn't big enough, head smaller than his palm. Premature, underdeveloped, denied the care she needed before she was even born.
"It was a test," Sephiroth said hollowly, "to see if I could do it. If I was strong enough."
"What do you mean?" Angeal asked.
So Sephiroth told his packmates. Quietly. Falteringly. As much as he could bare. He felt so much shame about the way he'd been raised, even if he knew logically that he'd been only a cub himself when it had started. Fear, too, for what the consequences might be if he told the truth. He couldn't stand to look at his companions' faces, so he watched their daughter instead, stroking her back as she started to whimper, still fruitlessly trying to feed.
The silence when he finished speaking was suffocating.
Angeal opened and closed his mouth, searching for words that wouldn't come. It was Genesis who broke the silence.
"Sephiroth," he promised, "we will never let him touch you again."
And Sephiroth believed him.
As much as he wanted to stay in his nest forever, there were practical things to consider. Sephiroth hadn't delivered the afterbirth, and his body wasn't producing milk. Besides, even between the three of them it would be impossible to raise a cub in secret in Shinra Tower, and safely rehoming her would be both extremely difficult and absolutely heartbreaking. It was better to take the matter into their own hands and so, hopefully, retain some control.
Angeal called Lazard, finally acknowledging the hours' of missed calls, and quickly filled him in. Lazard ordered for every corridor between the apartment and Medical to be cleared of all personnel. Angeal carried Sephiroth and their newborn in his arms, bundled in towels and blankets, proceeded by Genesis and the glow of his fire. They reached Medical interrupted, where Sephiroth's companions stuck to him and their daughter like glue while the doctors worked.
More than twenty-four hours since the ordeal had begun, Sephiroth finally slept, feeling safe and content under his packmates' watchful eyes.
Not long later, Professor Hojo was reported dead from a truly impressive number of stab wounds. First Class SOLDIERS Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos were not held accountable for their actions given that Hojo had been attempting to kidnap their newborn child, and were consequently suspended with full pay for the duration of First Class SOLDIER Sephiroth's maternity leave with no further disciplinary action required.
THE END