Chapter Text
After receiving the tongue-lashing of a lifetime from Blonde Blazer, (not involving anything sexual, unfortunately for the both of them), they thankfully don’t lose their jobs.
They do, however, get slapped with a mandated HR seminar on "Workplace Relationships" and "Proper Conduct in Public Spaces and the Workplace"…. so. On the bright side, the Z-Team also has to attend one on the importance of proper comms usage, which means Robert and Chad aren’t the only ones going down.
Together we stand, together we fall, bitches.
On the not so bright-side, there’s a large sign on multiple supply closets in the building that reads “NO FORNICATING ALLOWED -Management.” And, thanks to the comms incident, everyone knows the individuals responsible for said signs.
Robert tries not to blush every time he walks past them. It’s great practice for Poker games and learning how to withstand torture.
“Whatever you do, don’t tell them about what we got up to in the workshop. Or they might just ban you from flying the suit.” Chad whispers to him in response to the sign, to which Robert very politely finally gives him the smack upside the head he deserves.
That was Chad’s fault anyway. He was working on the Mecha suit and was being very wholesome, okay? He’s not the one who came down there and got all heated at the sight of a blow-torch and a welding mask.
(”My fault? You told me to get into the cockpit!”
“That was after you seduced me. If you weren’t groping me and flashing your boobs at me while I was trying to work, then none of that would have happened.”
“What, and you couldn’t not sit on my dick?”
“Exactly. Now you’re getting it.”)
So.
No more sex in the workplace.
Which is a sentence Robert never thought he would have to apply to himself. How is that even something that had to be imposed in their relationship? Him? Robert Robertson the Third? Well-known for being a goody-two-shoes narc with a stick up his ass?
And now he’s repeatedly having increasingly questionable sex in places he absolutely should not be having said sex?
Is that why they say religious girls are crazy in bed? Because of all the repression? Oh god, is Robert a repressed Christian girl?
“The hell are you thinking about so hard?” Chad says, interrupting the slippery slope of thoughts in Robert’s head. “What, you don’t like this place?”
Right. Apartment viewing.
That’s what they were doing.
Robert refocuses and takes another look around the space. There’s not much he can really say about the place, because objectively, anything is nicer than his current apartment. The bar is that low, even with his newly purchased memory-foam mattress.
“I’m not the picky one,” Robert says after a moment. “All the places we’ve looked at are fine with me.”
Chad immediately reaches over to pinch his cheek and puuuuull. Ow. “Idiot. This is a decision we both have to make. I’m not the only one living in it. You and me now, yeah?”
Robert pauses at that, feeling the words settle oddly within him. He’s gotten so used to not thinking about what he wants that he… forgot he could do that. So used to just bending, adjusting, and making do. Like an unused muscle, he struggles with the entire concept, to find his footing in this new world he’d walked into.
You and me now, yeah?
“…Are there any nearby parks?” Robert asks, turning to the real estate agent, voice a little more deliberate now. “Or places I can walk my dog?”
The agent brightens, nodding. “I remember Mr. Zahir mentioned you have a small dog. There’s a park just a block away, and a small garden on the first floor where residents usually walk their pets. This is one of the more pet-friendly buildings in LA.”
Robert’s gaze drifts around the apartment as the agent speaks, but something else starts to creep into his stomach, something uncomfortable and heavy.
There’s too much. Too much space, too many things. He doesn’t need all this. That couch looks too soft and inviting, and the throw pillows are unnecessary— The feeling spreads outward, wrapping around his lungs and his heart. Cold sweat beads along his back as he desperately tries to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth and latch onto the conversation happening right in front of him.
Fuck.
Chad and the agent are still talking, and he should join in, ask more questions, whatever.
His feet make the decision for him.
“I’ll go wait in the car,” He manages to murmur to Chad before he walks past them and heads straight for the door.
—
When Chad returns, Robert can tell immediately that he’s not in a particularly good mood. He’s quiet, for one. And less fiery.
“Everything alright?” Robert asks when he realizes Chad hasn’t even started the car.
“I should be asking you that.” Chad turns to him, and the lack of anger in his tone and in his brows is making Robert feel uneasy. “Look, if you don’t like the place, then fine. Just say so, bitch.”
Robert frowns. “But I do like the place.”
“Then do you not want to move in with me? Because I don’t fucking care if you don’t. Just tell me.”
What is happening? “I do want to move in with you. Why—?”
“Then what, Robert! What the fuck is the problem?!” Chad snaps, frustration finally breaking through.
There’s a well-practiced, deeply ingrained instinct in Robert that wants to deflect. To pretend he doesn’t know what Chad’s talking about, to brush it off and make it seem smaller than it really is. He’s surprised the man even noticed something was wrong, because he’d tried so hard not to let it show.
When did Chad get so good at reading him?
The thought itself is unsettling, making him feel naked, unable to hide the things that usually shouldn’t be so visible to other people.
But…
But he can’t just keep pushing people away. Not if he wants this—them—to work.
Robert’s gaze drops down to his hands, turning them over slowly. His fingers are bony and slightly crooked from how many times they’ve been broken.
And they never quite healed right.
“I…” He starts, then falters.
God.
Why is this so hard?
“I have trouble wanting things.” Robert continues, but the words come slow and halting. “I know I keep bragging about my new mattress but… Even that was hard. I walked into the store, I knew which one I wanted, but I had to go back five more times because I couldn’t muster up the courage to buy it, even though I had the money.
“And then I did buy it, and there was this pit in my stomach. It felt impossible to buy another pillow, and it took everything in me to even get bed sheets. Now I just keep waiting for it to disappear, for something to go wrong, because I'm so used to things doing that. My dad’s inheritance, it all vanished so fast. One moment I had something, and then… nothing.
“But I… I don’t want you to think that I don’t want this, Chad. I want you, I want this. This is the first time I’ve ever wanted something that I didn't immediately try to talk myself out of.” He takes another deep breath, exhaling shakily. “It’s a nice place,” He adds, quieter now. “So nice it makes my skin crawl.”
The pregnant silence that follows stretches long enough for Robert’s brain to kick into overdrive and his emotions to spiral quickly and unforgivingly. He’d said too much, and things are ruined now because he was honest, and now that Chad knows there's something irreparably wrong with him , he’ll call this off and decide it isn’t worth it, and then Robert will go right back to his empty apartment with nothing——
Fingers grab his chin and the action cuts cleanly through Robert’s turbulent thoughts as he’s forced to look right into Chad’s eyes. The lack of judgment in them somehow makes it worse. He tries to look away, to turn his head, but Chad doesn’t let him.
“Then let’s put a pin on this first.” Chad says.
Dread slides down Robert’s spine like ice. “Wait. No, I—”
“Will you fucking listen first?” Chad cuts him off, exasperated but not unkind. “Place isn’t going anywhere, alright? And if it does, then we’ll just find one like it. We don’t have to rush into shit. I know that’s kind of what we’ve been doing this whole time, but I’m telling you we can fucking slow down.”
“But…” Robert’s voice wavers, almost pleading now. “But I do want to move in with you.”
“And we will. Just don’t gotta figure it out right now, yeah?” Chad lets go of his chin in favor of cupping his face with both hands, (something Robert noticed he really likes to do.) “Now, let’s go back to your place, so I can show you how crazy I still am about you.”
Robert tries to turn his head but Chad keeps him in place, so he averts his eyes instead, anything to calm the unease in his chest. “Why my place? My place sucks.” He mumbles a little sullenly.
“Obviously because I’m trying to prove something to you.” Chad huffs before planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “Stop thinking. It’s making you dumber.”
“What does that even…? Nevermind.” Robert sighs.
—
The drive back to Robert’s place is silent, filled only with whatever’s playing on Chad’s Spotify and an energy Robert can’t quite (or doesn't want to) name. When they get out of the car, Chad’s hand settles at the small of his back, guiding him forward with a gentle push.
(It tingles.)
Beef isn’t there to greet them. Chase, having been extremely disappointed in Robert’s life choices, had taken custody of his dog and stormed out of the office in a huff.
Eh, he’ll come around.
Probably.
When Robert steps inside after unlocking the door, he instinctively reaches for the light switch, the way he usually does at Chad’s place, only to pause mid-motion as he realizes he still doesn’t own light bulbs.
Any other day, it wouldn’t have bothered him at all. Today, it’s especially humiliating.
How much more does Chad have to notice before he realizes just how little Robert actually has it together? How much he’s just been getting by? (And what if he realizes and decides that Robert just isn’t enough, just like everyone else eventually does?)
Click.
His thoughts once more interrupted, this time by the sound of Chad turning on one of the many lamps in the place. He’d turned on the one that he’d bought for Robert actually, green with warm lighting, matching the color of Beef’s collar and the feeling his dog usually brings him.
Chad tosses his keys onto the nearby counter, then turns back to Robert, who still hasn’t moved from the doorway, insecurity and fear anchoring his feet in place.
The distance between them closes as warm hands return to their place on the sides of Robert’s face. Chad’s thumb brushes against the notch on Robert’s ear and he shivers.
“I said, stop thinking.” Chad says, then he presses his lips to Robert’s, effectively silencing the doubts in his head.
The combination of that and the way Chad’s fingers keep playing with the notch on his ear unravels Robert’s thoughts instantly. Pulled apart to be replaced by sensation and the solid presence of Chad against him.
When Chad parts his lips, Robert follows without hesitation, letting him in. The other swallows every sound Robert makes, swallows the tension still lingering in his chest with his tongue, with his hands, and with the firm press of his body against Robert’s.
Chad pulls away and Robert breathes shakily. His lips feel swollen and slick, and his head’s a little light.
The super pats down his pockets before pulling out a small packet of lube.
Robert raises a brow, “Do you always just have those on hand?”
“Uh, duh?” Chad replies, like Robert’s the one being ridiculous. “How else do you think we keep fucking in every single place on the planet? Just on spit? This isn’t Brokeback Mountain, Bob-Bob.”
“I don’t understand that reference.”
“The fuck? Do you live under a—” Chad cuts himself off with a scowl. “Shut up and take your pants off.”
“So bossy.” Robert complains, even as he’s already undoing his belt. “If your pockets always have lube packets, surely a condom or two can fit in there too.”
“Oh yeah?”
Robert’s hands pause around his belt. He doesn’t like that tone.
Chad digs into his pocket again and pulls out several packets of condoms, holding them up right in Robert’s face.
“Look at that. Guess I have to use them now, huh?” He tilts his head, smirking. “Unless you don’t want me to.”
It takes everything in Robert not to outwardly react to that and keep a straight bored face, but as his eyes land on the stupid condoms, he wishes he’d just kept his damn mouth shut, because even though he keeps complaining about it, he can’t deny that the feel of Chad’s cum inside him…
Robert’s never been one to care much about that kind of thing before. He’s barely got the experience to begin with. He'd only ever slept with other men thrice in his life and he’d only bottomed for one. He didn’t really notice it until it was over and there was something trailing down his thighs. Messy and inconvenient, he’d thought then.
But Chad…
Not only does he come more than what Robert assumes is normal, it’s also hot. Noticeably so as it spreads inside him, filling him up in a way that’s impossible to ignore. It’s a feeling like no other, and it makes him feel so thoroughly used.
But he’s also never been good at wanting things.
So.
“Use them then,” He says, like it doesn’t matter, like he doesn’t feel that small curl of disappointment tightening in his stomach.
“Hmm. Alright.” Chad says, with an annoying knowing smile. Fuck him. Robert isn’t the only one who prefers the condom off, but he’s not going to be the first to fold.
Without warning, Chad grabs him and hoists him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Robert yelps, scrambling for purchase, his fingers clutching at the back of Chad’s shirt. “What the fuck!?”
His perspective tilts a bit as Chad moves, and he thinks they’re headed toward his bed.
“Will you stop just randomly picking me up?” He gripes.
“Hah! You sure about that? Because the thing poking at my shoulder says otherwise.”
Damnit. Betrayed again by his dick.
Chad drops him onto the bed and they’re kissing again almost immediately. Robert’s hands move on instinct, already fumbling with the buttons of his own shirt, but Chad catches his wrists mid-motion.
“I’ll do it,” Chad says.
Robert blinks at him, thrown for half a second, but doesn’t argue and lets Chad take over. It’s… slower than he expects. As Chad works his way down the buttons of Robert’s shirt, he lingers, his mouth follows his hands, tracing along Robert’s skin, brushing over old scars and bruises as if cataloguing them. Then he’d leave his own marks, layering it over what’s already there.
It feels nice, but also. He’s taking way too long.
“Ugh, Chad.” He groans, “Hurry up.”
He can feel Chad’s lips curve into a smirk against his skin, and then he’s kissing Robert again as he finally pulls Robert’s shirt off and tosses it aside. Robert’s already undone his belt earlier, so it’s easy enough for Chad to push his pants and boxers down and off. Robert reaches for Chad in turn, tugging at the hem of that stupidly tight V-neck, helping pull it off, then hurriedly working at Chad’s pants too—because he needs Chad to shut him up, to turn his brain off, (to show him how much he wants Robert.)
Chad leans back to tear open a packet, warming the lube between his fingers, and Robert is already shifting under him, spreading his legs and pulling the other closer. His hands find Chad’s broad shoulders, while his lips find the skin on the other’s throat, on the man’s collar bones, and he leaves his own marks in return.
Then Chad is lifting one of his legs with a push at the back of his thigh and— A relieved noise is pushed past Robert’s lips as a finger finally enters him, the tension easing a bit.
He could go a little faster though.
“You don’t have to start with just one finger.” Robert mutters, impatient. “I’m still pretty loose.”
Chad stills, his grip on Robert’s leg tightening minutely.
“What a slutty thing to say, Bob-Bob.” He says, sounding way too ecstatic. But at least it gets Chad to slip a second finger in, and this time, Robert doesn’t even hide the sigh of relief as the steady, familiar stretch calms him.
…
Except, again, they’re not moving as fast as he’d like. It’s slow, and it’s not even angled right. What the fuck? Chad doesn’t suck at fingering people. And Robert should know, with how often the guy fucks him.
“What are you doing?” He asks, a little annoyed.
“What does it look like?” Chad asks back. There’s something in his expression, however. Something sly and deliberate about the smirk. Yes, a smirk is like, Chad’s default face, but what is he…?
“You’re— You’re doing it badly on purpose!” Robert realizes aloud. He tries to move his hips downward, to get the digits to actually press where he wants, but Chad quickly intercepts him, stilling his movement with a hand on his bony hip.
Motherfucker!
“If you want me to do something,” Chad says, voice sweet in a way that immediately pisses Robert off, “why don’t you ask me nicely?” Ohhhhhh this bitch.
“Put another finger in already!” Robert demands, struggling a bit under Chad’s hold, but he might as well have been trying to push against the wall.
“That doesn’t sound very nice.”
“Fuck you.”
“I will.” His grin turns mean, “Eventually.”
What the fuck?!
Now, it’s not like Robert has never begged, or asked Chad nicely to please fuck the everloving shit out of him before. But now he doesn’t want to. Because. Um.
Because of principles.
He’s not going to beg. He isn’t.
But Chad just keeps going so fucking slowly, fingers brushing slightly against his prostate, almost giving him what he wants before he pulls back again, fingers pumping in and out at a leisurely pace. And there’s only two inside, when he usually needs three or four before he’s ready to take Chad’s cock.
Chad leans down, mouth finding his chest, and Robert bites down on his lip hard to stop the whorish noise about to escape as Chad’s lips close around the sensitive nub, but it still comes out, a choked gasp, when fingers press just right against his prostate—
And then leave again.
Robert pants, staring up at him in disbelief. (Is he getting more turned on? What the fuck?)
Chad suddenly flicks the tip of Robert’s cock, and he jolts with a broken moan as he clenches around fucking nothing.
“Look at how red it is,” Chad coos in a mocking voice. His hand wraps around Robert’s cock, his grip deliciously tight and firm as he strokes downward once, spreading the pre-cum already beading at the tip.
“Ngh!” Robert’s hips jerk, trying to chase the sensation, but Chad is still holding him down. His grip doesn’t loosen, his hand stays wrapped around the base of Robert’s cock, keeping him exactly where he wants him while his fingers continue to move slowly in and out of Robert’s hole.
Chad leans down again, mouth and tongue dragging over Robert’s chest, licking along the lines of his skin until Chad finds his left nipple. He takes it into his mouth and slobbers all over it. Licking, sucking, taking it into his teeth and nibbling lightly and it feels so fucking good, but his cock is starting to hurt with how hard he is, and Chad still isn’t moving his fingers right and Robert just wants to— Wants to—
Robert cries out, hands tangling into Chad’s hair as the other man gives his right nipple the same slow thorough attention and… and…
“Please,” He finally chokes out, his voice shaking with overwhelming want. “Please, I can’t take it anymore. Please.”
Chad pulls off of his nipple with a soft pop, and Robert shudders as the fingers inside him pause.
Chad meets his eyes. “Tell me what you want, Robert. And I’ll give it to you.”
And Robert wants. He wants. He always wants. He wants so badly to— to—
(—be loved—)
He sobs, fingers tightening in Chad’s hair as tears spill down his cheeks and when he bucks his hips to try and get the fingers in the right angle, Chad finally lets him. “Please, fuck me already. I want to come. Please.” Robert gasps out.
There’s a smile on Chad’s lips as he leans in to drag his tongue up Robert’s cheek, collecting the other man’s tears, and finally, finally, pressing another finger inside. He moves the digits just right, hard and fast, driving them straight into Robert’s prostate and yes— yes—!
Chad pulls his fingers out abruptly, and Robert’s breath stutters at the loss as Chad reaches for the foil packet of the condom—
“No!”
His hand shoots out to grab Chad’s wrist. “Don’t—… please.”
Chad’s grin turns wolfish instantly.
“Good boy,” He murmurs, his voice going straight to Robert’s dick and sending a rush of heat through his entire body. If Chad doesn’t get inside him this instant, Robert is going to die.
Chad tosses the condom at a random direction behind him, grabbing the lube packets instead. He uses two, spreading it over his cock generously, working it in with slow strokes of his hand.
Robert watches hungrily, propping himself up on his elbows. He knows how big Chad is, how he feels, but he still can’t help but look. To see how heavy it is, how it barely even stands on its own, and then the hefty balls under that guarantees Robert getting filled up until he’s dripping with cum.
Chad grabs him again with hands under his armpits, lifting him up, causing him to startle slightly out of the horny haze he’d settled into as the world shifts. Then Chad is beneath him, and Robert’s straddling him, the super’s large cock pressed snugly against his crack.
“Go on then,” Chad says, thumbs digging into his hips. “Sit.”
Robert nearly whimpers.
He lifts himself slightly, one arm reaching back to line himself up against Chad’s cock, pressing the tip against his winking hole—and then in one fell swoop, he sits.
His voice cracks as he keens into the air. It feels impossibly larger inside him this way, like there’s nothing else inside his guts but Chad, a space remade just to take him.
He plants his hands against Chad’s chest, his feet braced against the floor— And then he bounces.
“Oh god, oh f-fuck—! Ngh! Unh—!” Every time his ass smacks against thick muscled thighs and Chad’s fat cock hits even deeper than he thought possible, shockwaves of pleasure is sent through him.
His cock smacks wetly against Chad’s abs, drooling all over the hard planes of his stomach, leaving a trail of wetness as he moves, and each movement drives him deeper, and deeper, and closer to the edge——!
Hands clamp down on his waist and stop him.
“Wh— What are you…?” Robert pants, frustrated as the peak once more slowly ebbs away from him.
“Slowly.” Chad says.
“What?! But—Ah!” His words cut off with a loud gasp as Chad’s palm smacks hard against his ass cheek, the sharp impact echoing in the nearly empty space, almost tipping him right over the edge. Chad grabs the reddened flesh after, his palm warming it as fingers dig in roughly. Robert’s thighs start to tremble, his insides clenching as a response to the sudden spike in pleasure.
“I said,” Chad repeats. “Slowly.”
Robert whimpers, tears renewing and spilling down his cheeks. He listens this time, forcing himself to slow down, raising his hips gradually and dropping down just as slowly. It’s worse. So much worse.
He can feel his rim gripping Chad greedily, reluctant to let go. The slow drag of his cock against Robert’s insides, the feel of Chad’s hands on his ass, spreading him open, forcing him to take, controlling him, dictating his pace and every movement.
Chad’s hand comes down sharply on the other cheek, and Robert squeals in surprise as his balls draw tightly and he shoots cum all over Chad’s stomach, painting it in thin strips of white.
He’s still trembling, still coming in short, uneven bursts when Chad pushes him down onto his back, folds him in half, and fucks him.
Robert’s mouth falls open, and he’d have screamed if each breath wasn’t being knocked out of his lungs with every punishing thrust. His hands scramble blindly until they find the sheets above his head, fingers curling tight into the fabric as he holds on. It feels as if he’s been suspended in time, trapped in his orgasm as it stretches almost endlessly, until he can no longer tell up from down or left from right. All that’s left is the warmth building in his chest and belly, thawing the icy walls inside.
“L-Love you,” He slurs, breathless and drunk on pleasure. “I ungh, l—love— hah—mmph!” Chad’s lips are back on his, melding them together, responding to Robert without using words. And he doesn’t need to.
Chad pulls his mouth away with a strangled curse, his grip on the back of Robert’s thighs turning tight as he finally spills and fills Robert up with his warm warm seed.
There’s a lull afterward, the only sounds left are their harsh and uneven breaths as they both try to come back down. Chad moves first, pulling out slowly. Robert shivers at the loss, and when the tip pops out of the tight pucker of his hole, followed by a stream of cum, his next exhale trembles and turns into a moan.
Thick fingers push it back in. The glide is easy, what with the mixture of lube and the large volume of cum Chad had put in him. Two fingers become three… but… the third finger is a little thicker than usual, and… shorter…?
He lifts his head to look in between his legs, dazed, and sees Chad’s right hand. The third finger is his thumb, and Robert feels instantly dizzy with arousal. He throws his head back with a choked gasp when Chad inserts the stub of his ring finger.
Is… Is he going to…?
Robert’s hands move without another thought, sliding to the back of his knees, pulling himself open for Chad.
“Want me to put my entire hand in?” Chad leans down to whisper right against his ear, “Baby?”
The pet name goes straight to his cock, and it nearly does him in. “Please. Please.” He begs, squeezing his eyes shut, body trembling as anticipation coils tight in his loins. “Puh…. Put your hand i—MNGH!” His eyes snap open again at the sudden shift of Chad’s hand, pushing deeper into his hole, stretching him even more. “O-Oh! Oh!”
“Hmm? What was that?” Chad asks, his voice coy.
Robert sobs, “N-No… No, please. Ungh, Hah, Ah! Your hand—!” Chad’s other hand wraps around his weeping cock, the pressure just short of right and— “I can’t—!” He’s trying his best, but he can’t focus…!
“Fuck my hand and I’ll give you what you want, Robert.” Chad says, his lips closing around Robert’s cock as his tongue dips into the opening. Robert jerks like he’d been electrocuted, and he helplessly obeys with a cry, planting his hands behind him and bracing his feet back on the ground so he can fuck into the slick circle formed by Chad’s hand.
His brain is melting, leaking out of his ears, his entire being consumed by hedonism. All that’s left is the strong desire to keep thrusting his hips forward until he finally spills and empties himself completely.
The nub of Chad’s pinky enters and in one twist, his knuckles slip past Robert’s red, puffy, and wet rim, scraping against the sensitive gland inside Robert and he howls.
His body seizes with the force of his orgasm, tearing through him, his cock pathetically twitching as it tries to produce more cum. Chad’s hand continues to push, twist, and pull, and Robert unravels with his climax, voice breaking until there’s nothing left.
With one last twitch, Robert goes limp, dropping back against his sheets, limp like a boiled spaghetti noodle. His body is still loose and heavy with aftershocks, and even his eyelids feel too heavy to keep open.
Chad’s lips press softly against the inside of his thigh. “Got another one left in you?” He asks, looking up at him through thick lashes.
Robert probably doesn’t. The last round had without a doubt wrung him dry, but… but he wants to try. (He wants to be broken down until he can’t think.)
He nods, his hands returning to the back of his knees, holding himself open for Chad.
“Oh,” Chad sighs, reverent, “I’m going to be dreaming about this for days.”
When he resumes, the movements are less rough, but deliberate all the same. This time, he goes straight for the spot inside Robert that lights the back of his eyelids with fireworks. After cumming so much, it feels like a live wire inside him, and he quivers.
He feels himself shift away, then back toward it, unsure whether he wants more or less of the pleasure that’s slowly but surely driving him insane. “Ch-Chad….” Robert whimpers, his eyes spilling over once more, tears gathering at his jaw before dripping down.
“You’re doing so good. So fucking good, Robert.” Chad says, and Robert’s breath hitches at the praise, his overworked cock twitching in the other’s hold. His mind has gone white and fuzzy, and he desperately holds on to every single word.
“I’m yours. You can have me, Robert. You can have all of me if you want.” Chad presses his fist in even deeper, and Robert didn’t think there was any space left inside of him, but his body will always open for Chad, will always let him in.
“And I want you.” Chad whispers right against Robert’s lips. “I want all of you. Because you’re mine.”
Robert nods, sobbing. “M’yours.” The heat extends outward, enveloping him, all the way to his tingling fingertips. “Y-Yours—Mngh! I’m— C-Cumming! I’m—GH!”
Robert’s back arches sharply, his cock pulsing weakly between his legs as he comes dry. Chad kisses the rim stretched over his wrist, and that would have probably driven Robert into his fourth orgasm if it weren’t for the fact that there isn’t anything left in him to come.
Chad’s lips return to Robert’s, probably to distract him as he pulls his hand out slowly and carefully. Robert whines a bit when the knuckles slip past his rim, but Chad makes sure to be gentle, his hand warming up a bit to help. The super coaxes his mouth open and Robert follows without a second thought, the kiss meant more to soothe than overwhelm now.
Then Chad is moving over him, swinging his leg over to the side so he can wrap a hand around himself, firm and slow strokes on his cock as it hovers right above Robert’s face.
Robert watches, as if mesmerized, and instinctively, he sticks his tongue out.
“Yeah? Want me to come in your mouth again?” Chad asks.
Robert nods, not even pulling his tongue back in and Chad makes a pleased groan. “My own—hah…. fucking slut. I’m the l-luckiest guy in the world.” Chad’s eyes don’t leave his face, and Robert’s limp cock makes a valiant twitch, trying its best to come back to life at the view.
Chad hisses, his hand moving faster, more noises escaping him as steam starts to pour off his shoulders. Then with a groan, he presses the tip of his cock right over Robert’s tongue.
Robert moans at the mildly salty taste of the other’s cum, and he only has a moment to brace himself before Chad is sheathing himself down Robert’s throat. He chokes on it, and his eyes roll back as he’s forced to take it. He thinks his body shudders through another dry orgasm, he’s not sure, all he knows is the feel of warm seed being shot straight down into his stomach.
“God, you’re so fucking perfect.” Chad breathes, voice strained. Robert whimpers around the cock in his mouth, his heart-swelling at the praise, and he feels….
(He feels…?)
Chad pulls out, and his lips slot right back against Robert’s again, tasting himself on his lover's tongue. Chad’s hand slides down his cheek, his thumb dragging along Robert’s jaw as their mouths move against each other. Slow and tender, like Robert could ever deserve any of this.
When they finally pull apart, their foreheads rest together, sharing heavy breaths and heavy gazes. Neither of them move right away, both reluctant to break the quiet aftermath.
Heated palms find Robert’s legs, guiding them down and straightening them into a more comfortable position. The temperature does wonders to Robert’s sore muscles, and he lets out a quiet sigh of relief. Fingers dig into tight spots with a steady, practiced pressure. When Chad reaches behind Robert toward the dispatcher’s lower back, heated hands right against his lumbar, it draws another moan out of him and he presses back into the touch.
Eventually, Chad pulls away and stands, but the absence is brief. When he returns, it’s with a damp cloth, and he sets to work cleaning Robert up. Gentle wipes on the sticky mess on his skin and between his legs. Robert feels himself slipping under, into the distant but floaty feeling, the sensation of the cloth on him repetitive in a way that lulls him. The world softens at the edges, and he doesn’t have to think, or hold himself together.
He can just… exist.
Chad lifts him easily from the mattress, and Robert goes without resistance, eyes drifting closed as his cheek rests against the larger man’s chest. The part of him that’s usually desperately fighting and wrestling for control has been fucked dormant.
He’s set down on a stool, and a second later the shower turns on. The first rush of the water is cold, and it starts to pull him back into awareness. It’s definitely uncomfortable, but he’s kind of used to it already. It’ll heat up a little bit in a few minutes. And just Chad being there sort of already raises the temperature anyway.
“Now you see why we need a bathtub and a heater that works properly?” Chad says.
“S’why I said your place.” Robert mumbles, tired but content to just lean back on the shower wall behind him.
“Oi,” Chad thunks his empty shampoo bottle against the wall, “You’re all out of your disgusting 10-in-1 shampoo.”
“S’not ten. It’s three ‘n one.”
“Ugh.”
“I bought… it’s under the sink.” Robert yawns. Actually, the cold water feels kind of nice after having sex with literal fire.
There’s a bit of grumbling, then the sound of the cabinet door opening, some rustling, and then…
“Wh—… This is the brand I use.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“There’s like, three bottles here and a bar of soap. What the fuck? Where’s your shit?”
Oh.
This is embarrassing.
“Uh… that’s…” Robert is suddenly very interested in the shower drain. “It’s ‘cause you’re always… going on and on about my toiletries so I…” His voice trails off, trying to fight human physiology and not turn red.
Chad laughs, but it isn’t his usual mocking laugh. It’s light and genuinely pleased, and damnit, Robert’s not going to win this fight with physiology, isn’t he?
Chad closes the distance in two strides and he kisses Robert again, until the warmth of it washes over him, chasing away the last of the chill from the water, leaving him soft and pliant in its wake. Chad sighs when he pulls away. “Tsk tsk. So in love with me that you want to smell like me?”
Robert rolls his eyes. “Ugh, shut up.”
There’s a soft pop, and when Robert blinks, Chad’s already opened one of the bottles, lathering shampoo into his hands.
“Close your eyes.” Chad says, and Robert does. Warm fingers work the fragrant substance into his hair, spreading the scent through it, massaging his scalp in slow, steady motions. The pressure is perfect, and Robert is going to turn into a puddle of goo soon and go down the drain.
“Can y’show me how to wash y’r hair next?” Robert mumbles, leaning further into the touch.
“Tch. Obviously.” Chad snarks, his tone a juxtaposition to the warmth and tenderness of his hands on Robert.
And Robert.
He wants.
From the moment he was born, even before his powers had ever manifested, Chad had always felt as if there was a raging fire inside of him. Because anger is like a second skin to him, and it’s easier to be angry than to feel the hollow weight of despair.
But with the fire comes violence, a natural tendency to destroy and consume everything else until all that’s left is ash and embers. And no one had ever taught him that the answer to violence isn’t more of it.
It’s all he’d ever known and learned. If his father yelled, Chad would yell louder, and if… no. When he’d seen his father beating his mother, all Chad had known was red. Blinding, overwhelming, suffocating red.
Crying didn’t solve his problems, being angry did. And if that’s what it meant to keep his mother and his sister safe, then he’d be angry for the rest of his life.
But with the fire comes volatility and destruction, and if there was nothing to be angry at, what then? They’d left the old man for a better life, and the absence of discord meant there was nowhere for the fire that had built inside him to go to.
(Who is he, if not fire?)
Then his mother grew sick, and his sister couldn’t get a stable job, and he tried to ignore the simmering rage under his skin, to be better than his piece of shit father, but it was all for naught, because the next day his mother had slipped on a ladder when Chad had accidentally startled her and that was all it took.
Weak weak normies.
It was freeing, in a way, to finally let go. To let blistering heat envelope his body and consume everything around him, including himself. To be what he was, because who is he, if not violence?
And he’d have let it burn through him, if it weren’t for Mecha Man.
Couldn’t even let him die in his own self-made hell, the motherfucker. Couldn’t even do him the courtesy of ending it, of driving the blade right into Chad’s chest and finally let his body return to the ashes.
No, he had to save him, capture him and throw him into a cell and make him live the life he never wanted.
(Then his sister had come to visit. In her hands an ultrasound, the edges slightly worn from her tight grip. “You’re going to be an uncle,” She’d said. “If there’s still any good in you, Chad-jan, and I know there is… I hope when you’re out of here, you can show her that.”
She’d left the image in his hands, and Chad had pressed it to his forehead as he sobbed.
If Mecha Man hadn’t been there to stop him from killing all those people, would his sister still have asked him be in his niece’s life?)
Hands that he’d thought were meant solely for tearing things apart, the very same hands he now uses to care. To touch the people he loves with something that isn’t rage, proof that fire can be used for warmth and life as well.
While the plans for moving in together had been postponed, their relationship has never been stronger, Chad would say. Aside from the fact that Robert is a lot more tactile with him now (and a very significant increase in banging), Chad doesn’t think he’s ever felt so…
So… Not… pissed off…? Like, fuck. The world is colorful after all and shit. See, Robert? Those romcoms Chad had forced him to watch had some truth in them after all.
Naturally, the next step would be…
“You want me to meet your family?” Robert asks, eyes wide.
“Don’t look so scared. You’re like… the most decent person I’ve ever dated. My sister will be so fucking relieved you’re not addicted to viagra.”
“…That’s oddly specific.”
Chad pointedly ignores that and continues. “Plus, my niece is a fucking Mecha Man fan. Fuck, do you know how pissed off I was when I found out you were her favorite superhero? My own goddamn niece.”
Normally, that would’ve pulled Robert right out of his shitty thoughts and into teasing Chad about that. But instead he looks down with a slight furrow to his brows, fingers starting to drum lightly against the table.
Chad’s brows furrow, and for the first time in a long time, he doubts. “… Do you not want to meet my—?”
“No, it’s not…” Robert cuts in quickly. “I… I’m just. Worried. That I might not… meet expectations…?”
“What fucking expectations? The last guy I dated overdosed on viagra! The bar is on the fucking ground! And the guy before that turned out to be a strangler!”
“But I’m not… I dropped out of highschool to go be Mecha Man and I couldn’t even do that properly. And I don’t even own lightbulbs, because I keep forgetting to go to the hardware store!”
Seriously? Not a single comment about the strangler? Shit, he must be more nervous than Chad had initially thought. “… You dropped out of highschool?” He says after processing everything Robert had just said.
“That’s what you focus on?”
“It was the most surprising thing in your word vomit.”
Robert groans and runs a hand down his face. “I was fifteen when my dad died, and I had to drop everything to go be Mecha Man.” He pauses, then snickers. “Heh, get it? Drop? ‘Cause I’m a—”
“I’m sorry.” Chad interrupts. “Did you just say you were FUCKING fifteen when you started piloting that fucking suit?! Who the fuck lets a kid do that?!”
“I wasn’t a kid. I was a teenager.” Robert corrects, like that isn’t the same fucking thing. “I just… I don’t want to disappoint them. And… and disappoint you.” He finishes quietly.
“Robert. Be so for fucking real.” Chad groans, “The first time I met you, I wanted to kill you. I’ve seen your place pre-furniture. Hell, I’ve seen you with holes in your goddamn underwear and I’m still here. Don’t you understand? You could have the world’s smallest dick and I’d still be crazy about you. Because I don’t care about any of that, okay? What I care about, is the person in the shredded underwear.”
Robert opens his mouth, but Chad barrels right through. “And are you fucking kidding me? You’re the only reason I even got to be a hero. Because you’re so good at your fucking job! I mean, I was distracting you by sucking your dick and playing with your cute little hole and you still dispatched just fine. We didn’t even get caught!”
Robert looks down at that, the drumming of his fingers starting to slow as he once more falls deep into his thoughts. Whatever the result of all that overthinking was, it has Robert letting out a long sigh and getting out of his seat to drop down beside Chad so he can go bury his face right into his awesome chest. Theeeere we go.
Chad huffs, but it’s automatic at this point—his arms are around Robert without hesitation, pulling him in and holding him there. His previous partners had always complained about the heat, about how he ran too hot, and how uncomfortable it was to stay close to him for too long.
Robert’s always been different.
“So you admit my dick isn’t small?” Robert mumbles into his chest.
“Eh, next to mine, it’s still pretty puny.”
“Well you’ve always been a bigger dick than me, so.”
“Psh. You like it.”
“But you aren’t, though.”
“…Huh?”
“You’re a good man, and a good hero. I don’t know everything, but I know you were dealt shitty cards. Lots of people get second chances, but not everyone uses it to become a better person.” Robert continues to hide his face in Chad’s chest as he speaks. “I’m just scared that you’ll realize that I’m not all you made me out to be, and that one day, you’ll wish I was that person.”
Chad pats his head, “Is there like a button for your pep talks? Because that started off great, but then you stopped talking about me and then the quality dropped.” He sighs, propping his chin on the tuft of brown hair. “Unfortunately for you, that is not my thing. I’m running out of English. Any chance you could try to turn that shit on to yourself?”
Robert laughs a bit, and it’s a little wet at the edges. He burrows further into Chad’s warmth.
“Just… just stay. That’s all I need.” Robert says.
Chad exhales through his nose. “You keep asking me to stay, but I haven’t gone anywhere, Bob-Bob.” He presses a kiss into Robert’s hair, lingering for just a second. (Robert’s starting to smell like him, hmm.)
“And Robert?”
“Mm?”
“If you don’t throw that goddamn underwear away, I will set it on fire.”
Robert eventually agrees to have lunch with his sister, and Chad has to pretend he’s not over the fucking moon by zipping around Los Angeles like a fireball without Adderall. The next morning he sees tweets about the “strange shooting star thingy last night” and he has to stifle the urge to tweet back ‘THAT WAS ME. MY BOYFRIEND’S MEETING THE FAMILY. WE’RE SOOO FUCKIN SERIOUS NOW GUYS.’
The good mood is infectious though, as in it infects the rest of the Z-Team and they perform very well the entire week. Which means Robert is happy, and Robert being happy means Chad is also happy, which means there’s a lot more sightings of the “strange shooting star thingy.”
“I can’t believe I never noticed it. I mean, it’s been right in our faces this whole time.” Visi says over the comms.
“What’s been right in our faces?” Golem asks.
“Robert and Flambae. I walked into the break room and they were making googly eyes at each other. It was disgustingly cute.”
There’s an immediate groan, “Not this again.” Robert says.
Chad chews on his protein bar thoughtfully as he waits to be sent back out on his next mission, trying to recall whether they’d actually been making googly eyes at each other. He doesn’t really remember.
“Oh my fucking god. The lunches. THE LUNCHES! How the hell did I lose that bet?” Alice says. “I knew I recognized that tupperware. Ain’t no way Roberto’s broke ass bought that.”
“Hey, I have a bank account now. That isn’t empty.” Robert defends himself, “And I have a new—”
“—memory-foam mattress with a dual-spring system.” Everyone says at once. Even Chad says it in his head.
“It’s got great lumbar support.” Malevola continues in a terrible imitation of Robert’s voice.
Sonar joins in too, with a slightly more accurate impression. “And it’s ergonomically designed for side sleepers, with temperature regulating—”
“Fine,” Robert cuts in, sounding sulky, “You don’t want to hear about my cool new mattress? I’m gonna go throw it out and sleep on my awesome plastic chair, and then I’m going to be all grumpy from the complete lack of spine support, and your next few shifts will be one of the worst ones in the history of your careers.”
Stunned silence. Chad has to smack a hand over his mouth to stop from bursting into laughter.
“Alright, geez, we’re sorry.” Malevola says.
“Bae’s pettiness is rubbing off on you, I don’t like it.” Alice sniffs.
“Hey, fuck you. I’m not petty!” Chad yells, “I’m the only one who didn’t sabotage any of you motherfuckers when they said one of us was getting fired! And I got locked in a sensory deprivation tank. TWICE!” The other heroes in the room give him a bewildered look, but he ignores them.
“You couldn’t have just enjoyed the experience? You know celebrities actually sleep in those things.” Visi says at the same time Sonar says “Hey, hey Robbie. You ever think of replacing your mattress with a sensory deprivation tank?”
Instead of the reprimand Chad had been expecting, Robert goes quiet, and Chad does not like that, at all.
“Robert.” He says, “Don’t you fucking dare.”
Through the comms, he can hear faint muttering. “…helps alleviate back pain by providing a weightless…. zero-gravity environment that allows the spine to decompress… huh…”
“ROBERT. GET THE FUCK OFF GOOGLE.”
“Shhhhhh. Oh, would you look at that? Your break’s over. Why don’t you go help get this kid’s cat off a tree?”
Chad hears the unmistakable sound of rapid typing, and he damn well knows Robert isn’t hacking into fucking anything.
“You’re dead. You’re so fucking dead Sonar.” Chad mutters darkly, “If I see a fucking deprivation tank in his fuckass apartment, I’m switching out your cocaine with fucking icing sugar and melting your staplers into a ball and THROWING IT AT YOUR FACE!”
Okay, other than that, things were great. So great that Chad sometimes slaps himself in the morning, because he’s not sure this isn’t some dream from when he slipped a few months ago and hit his head on Golem’s knee.
Tomorrow, they’ll be driving somewhere a little past Torrance, heading further south to where Chad’s sister and niece live. Tonight, Robert is doing a poor job of pretending he isn’t nervous, because he won’t stop chewing on his fingernails and he isn’t even paying attention to the reality show playing on Chad’s TV.
Chad sighs, grabbing his boyfriend’s head and smushing his cheek right into his chest. He’s been told his tits have healing properties, and Robert has a habit of seeking them out whenever he’s feeling bad.
“Will you relax? It’ll be fine.”
“Yeah. Totally. Uh-huh.” Robert says, very unconvincingly. Damn, not even his tits are working.
“Hey. We seriously don’t have to meet them if you’re not ready.” Chad says, a little more seriously.
Robert shakes his head. (Or tries to.) “No. No, I’m… I’m fine. I just need— Just. Gah.” He turns his face inward, toward Chad’s cleavage. Heh, there we go. “I’m just nervous. That’s normal.” He says, voice muffled by Chad’s phenomenal chest muscles.
“I guess I am pretty nervous too.” Chad says after awhile. Robert pulls away to look up at him with surprise. “You are?” He asks.
Chad scratches his head, “Haven’t exactly had the best track record with the guys I’ve introduced to her.”
“Right… there was the guy addicted to viagra… and then the strangler…”
“He wasn’t a strangler when we were together.”
“Did you… turn him into one…?”
“Bitch, don’t make that my fault. We never even did any choking in bed.” Chad scoffs.
“Wow, this is actually working. Because I’m getting jealous. Stop talking about your exes.”
Chad laughs, “How are you jealous? They fucking suck!”
“Oh yeah? You know, I once had a boyfriend—”
“Okay. Stop. Stop right there—”
“—and he was the worst lay of my life—”
“—Well, that one’s not so bad.”
“—also, he took my ass virginity.”
Chad freezes.
Robert gives him a rare smile, all soft and mischievous that it kind of feels like a sucker punch compared to his previous fuckass statement. He then gives Chad a peck right on the tip of his nose. Then he’s hopping off the couch and running away.
Chad, predictably, bursts into flames.
(Then Robert’s thoroughly distracted by the crazy monkey sex.)
The sex actually seemed to have helped, because when morning comes, Robert looks far too tired to be nervous, yawning as he clicks his seatbelt into place. Either that or he’d woken up sometime in the middle of the night while Chad was dead to the world and quietly worked himself into an anxious frenzy. Thankfully, the drive’s only about fifteen to thirty minutes, so Robert won’t have time to stew in his seat.
“What’s your sister’s name, by the way?” Robert asks after awhile.
“Karen.” Chad replies, his eyes still on the road.
“K— Your… Whuh….” He hears Robert clear his throat, “Your sister’s name is Karen.”
“I already said that.”
“And your name is… Chad…?”
“Did you hit your fucking head? You already know my fucking name.”
“No… I just… Um.”
Chad laughs when he glances over and sees Robert’s face. “Yeah, yeah. I get it, I’m just messing with you. But you of all people can’t seriously give us shit about our names.”
“But Chad and Karen…?”
“Parents wanted us to have American names so we didn’t have trouble fitting in. I’d say it did fuck all, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, I guess.”
“And your niece’s name?”
“Zalaikha Shahzadi.”
“… I guess that’s one way to break the cycle.” Robert says carefully.
Chad resists the urge to laugh at Robert again. "We call her Lyka. Makes it easier for her in school. Kids can be fucking assholes man, but she’s tough as nails. Helps that the school she goes to has a lot of immigrants too.”
“Do I have to— I mean, is your… uh… are your parents there too?”
“No. Father isn’t in the picture, because he’s dead to me.” Chad snickers a bit at his own joke, “Ah… but you can meet my mother after, maybe.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Chad’s knuckles are just centimeters away from the door when it swings open to reveal his niece. The first thing that goes through Robert’s head is that the little girl looks somewhat like a mini-Chad, from the dark hair to the strong brows, but her eyes are green instead of Chad’s amber ones.
Her face brightens and breaks into a gap-toothed smile. (He’s suddenly reminded of his first few days as a dispatcher, when Chad still hadn’t gone to the dentist to get his teeth fixed, and would constantly give Robert shit about it.)
“Mama!” She yells, and then she’s launching herself straight into Chad’s arms.
Wait. Mama?
“What the fuck, did you get taller?” Chad says, ruffling the girl’s hair.
“Yeah! Maman said I’ll be even taller than you.” She says in noticeably less accented English compared to Chad. Her eyes then find Robert, and Robert can’t help but turn completely rigid under the sudden attention.
She points at him with a gasp of wonder. “Whoah! He looks totally normal!”
Chad turns red, “Okay, back inside you little…” He sets her down and Lyka bolts back into the house without a second thought.
Robert smirks at Chad.
“Shut the fuck up and get inside.”
The house isn’t large, but it isn’t small either, and the place looks like one of those homes Prism would show him on Pinterest, but with clutter that makes it look less model-house and more lived in. There’s pictures on the wall, and he stops at one of what seems to be a younger Chad and his sister. Chad is scowling while his sister is grinning with all her teeth.
“Hey! Robert, right? Sorry, I was in a call,” A woman’s voice calls out. “Lyka, what did I tell you about answering the door by yourself?!”
“But I saw that it was just mama. I looked out the window, it was fine.”
There’s a bit of muttering in what Robert assumes is Dari, and then Chad’s sister comes into view as she descends the stairs.
She looks almost exactly like what Robert would imagine a genderbent Chad would look like but with shorter hair. The genes are strong in this family. Robert’s pretty sure he looks nothing like his father. It’s also possible that he’s forgotten what the guy actually looks like.
Karen stops when she sees him, her expression instantly morphing into surprise as she gives Robert a quick once-over. “Wow, you’re so… normal.”
“That’s what I said!” Lyka says happily.
“Guys.” Chad groans.
Karen takes three long strides toward him and oh, wow, she’s tall— Then her face is right up Robert’s with a slightly more hardened expression. “Any drug addictions? Homicidal tendencies? Strange fixations? Are you a closeted heterosexual?” She rattles off.
“Ba khoda qasam, Karen!” Chad hisses through his teeth.
“I’m sorry, closeted heterosexual?” Robert repeats.
“I know, I was surprised about it too.” She says and then smiles, the same smile Robert had seen in the photos on the wall, as she reaches out for a handshake. “Name’s Karen. Nice to meet you!”
Robert shakes the hand, “Robert.” He replies, thankful Chad had gotten her name out of the way in the car so he wouldn’t be fighting not to outwardly react to it. “Uh, lovely house you have… here…?” He tries. God, what do people usually say in situations like this?
“Thanks!” Karen says easily, already turning away. “Come on, take a seat. Lunch is almost ready. Do you drink coffee? Tea? Juice?”
“Water’s fine, thank you.” Any kind of caffeine or sugar sounds like a terrible idea, considering he’s so nervous it feels like there’s a vibrator on its max settings taped to his heart. He takes a seat, and Lyka plops down right across from him, staring at him with a feline curiosity.
“Need help?” Chad asks his sister, but he’s already heading to the kitchen with her. When they return, they’re carrying plates filled with what looks like tortillas and a bunch of… dips…? The other dish, Robert doesn’t even know how to begin to describe because he has no idea what it is. Well, he recognizes the tomato sauce, at least. And… parsley…? Holy fuck, he’s never felt whiter.
“This one’s Bolani,” Chad says, as if hearing the crisis in Robert’s head. He points to the tortilla-looking-things. “It’s stuffed flatbread. Is it potatoes inside?” The latter question he directs to his sister.
“Yeah, potato and leeks. Kinda like a Quesadilla, yeah?” Karen points to the small ramekins, “This one’s chutney and this one’s garlic yogurt. I put fresh dill in it, trust me, the uh… fuck what’s the word?” She snaps her fingers twice, “Mint! It’s kinda minty, and it goes well with the yogurt.”
“This one’s Borani Banjan!” Lyka pipes up next, gesturing to the other dish. “It’s fried eggplants in spaghetti and vampire sauce. It’s really tasty!”
“Tomato sauce and garlic yogurt.” Karen corrects.
Lyka throws her hands up, “That’s what I said.”
Oh, eggplants. Yeah, no, Robert knows what eggplants look like. The fuck? How did he not recognize what those were?
When they all start to dig in, Robert nearly makes a pornographic noise as soon as he takes a bite. It’s flavorful and familiar, and he somewhat recognizes the spices that might have been used in the dish because Chad’s food often has a similar taste profile. He forgets himself for a moment and just shovels spoonful after spoonful into his mouth.
“So, Robert, what do you do for work?” Karen asks, very obviously interrogating Robert again. Chad rolls his eyes but doesn’t interrupt.
Shit. Right. Conversation. He’s not just here to eat. Robert swallows thickly. “Uh, I’m a dispatcher at SDN. Chad’s dispatcher, actually.”
“Oh. Wait. Wait wait wait.” She turns wide eyes toward Chad, “Is he…? Holy shit, he’s that dispatcher, yeah? The one you said—”
“HUP-UP-UP!” Chad cuts in loudly. “Yes. That’s him. Now SHH.”
“What’s a dispatcher?” Lyka asks, tilting her head and unintentionally but successfully derailing Karen.
“They manage superhero teams,” She explains to her daughter. “They’re the ones who decide which missions the heroes go to.”
Lyka’s attention snaps right back to Robert, turning the full strength of her wide sparkly green eyes at him. “You manage superheroes? Then- Then do you manage Mecha Man too!?” She starts bouncing in her seat, her next words tumbling past her lips in record speed.
“My favorite is Mecha Man Blue. Because he beat up all those bad guys for like, a bajillion years, and he doesn’t even have a team! Well, okay I guess Mecha Man Astral and the Brave Brigade is pretty cool too, but Blue is the best! Did you hear that he recently got his suit back? Mama said he works with him sometimes too. Tell him, mama!”
Wow. Chad was not kidding.
There’s a warmth and a strange feeling that tickles his stomach and flips it upside down at the realization of just how much this little girl looks up to him— to Mecha Man. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve that kind of admiration, especially when there were other Mecha Mans who were, objectively, far more competent than he’d ever been. But he’s also not going to crush the illusion for the little girl, no matter how tempting it is to do so.
She’s still going a mile a minute, practically unloading all the Mecha Man lore she has committed to memory, and when Robert turns his gaze to the side, he finds Chad already looking at him. The fire-user tilts his head when their eyes meet, a wordless question in the action.
When Chad first brought this up, Robert had assumed he was exaggerating, humoring him in a way as he oversold his niece’s Mecha Man obsession. He really should start taking Chad’s words at face value more often.
Chad said he didn’t have to, but he’d still stashed the mask in the pocket of his jacket, just in case. And he’s glad he did, because now that he knows how happy it would actually make his niece (and how happy it would most likely make Chad too), then he’ll gladly make an exception.
There’s still doubt niggling at the back of his mind, of course. That once Lyka realizes who’s behind the mask, it’ll shatter this image she had of him and she’ll be disappointed, heartbroken even, when she realizes Robert isn’t nearly what she thought he would be.
He clears his throat before he can change his mind and back out of what he’s about to do. Lyka stops immediately, blinking at Robert.
“I do know Mecha Man, actually.” He says.
“WHAT!?” Lyka yells. “CAN I MEET HIM?”
Robert taps his chin in thought, pretending to ponder over a decision that’s already been made. “Hmm… I don’t know. Are you good at keeping secrets?”
Lyka nods fast, her hair flying with it. “I’m like, the best. There are things I know about maman and mama that they don’t even know about each other. That’s how good I am.” Which is very concerning to hear, and Karen and Chad briefly give each other horrified looks.
“…Right,” Robert says, choosing not to unpack that. “Then if you promise to keep this secret, I’ll let you meet Mecha Man.”
“Yes! YES, I PROMISE! Cross my heart!”
Robert smiles faintly at her enthusiasm, even as his stomach twists and he feels like he’s going to throw up. There’s a very real chance this blows up spectacularly, that Chad ends up having to console his niece while Karen throws Robert out of the house and— Gah! No more thinking.
Here goes nothing.
He pulls out the mask and puts it on. Lyka just stares at him at first, confused, but Karen makes the connection instantly, her hand flying to her mouth in shock.
There’s a good few seconds of silence wherein Robert thinks he might actually throw up, but then Lyka’s eyes widen and then.
She screams.
“OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOOOOOOOOSH!” She points a finger at Robert. “You’re—!? Then you’re—!?” Lyka jumps off her seat, and there’s a gust of wind from under her from how quickly she flings herself into the air and… stays there? “My uncle is dating MECHA MAN? MY MAMA IS— MMMPH!”
Karen quickly covers her daughter’s mouth and snatches her from where she’d been hovering in the air. ”Inside voice, bacha,” she scolds gently, though she shoots Robert an apologetic look. Robert quickly pulls the mask off and stuffs it back into his jacket, his heart still racing.
“Eh, let her shout it to the world.” Chad says smugly. Robert rolls his eyes, but deep down, he’s so so relieved it’s almost dizzying.
Once Lyka has been returned back to her seat and no longer defying the laws of gravity, she’s already turning wide pleading eyes at Chad. “Mama please, you can’t break up with him. Ever. PLEASE!”
Chad laughs, slinging an arm around Robert’s shoulders. “I won’t let him do that, duh. He’s stuck with me forever.” Robert feels his face warm.
Lyka brightens instantly. “Then you’ll marry him!?”
Chad’s face falls. “Now, wait a second—”
“You have to marry him, mama. Or else he’ll find someone else! That’s what happens all the time!”
What the hell are kids watching these days? Robert thinks.
“That’s not— We just started dating, Lyka.” Chad says, visibly floundering as he tries to figure out how to tell a child that just because they’re not thinking of marriage yet doesn’t mean they’re going to break up.
“But maman and my dad didn’t get married and now she’s with someone else! A better someone else! What if Mecha Man finds someone better than you!?”
“OUCH?” Chad says.
Robert can’t help it anymore, he bursts into laughter.
The type that has him clutching his stomach breathlessly. After a second, Karen joins in on the laughter as her daughter loudly questions why everyone's laughing. Chad just sighs heavily, though his thumb traces circles into Robert’s clothed shoulder.
The rest of the lunch goes smoothly, and by the end of it, Robert’s not sure why he was ever worried. Although, when they try to leave, Lyka throws a world-class tantrum, bawling and refusing to let them go, barricading the doorway with all four limbs on the frame. The only way they’d consoled her into letting Robert leave was by having him sign the wall next to the door with her glittery blue sharpie and a promise to come back soon.
“She’s such a funny kid, right?” Chad says, who’d been laughing the entire time and was of no help whatsoever. “God, I love her. Totally takes after me.”
“I’m guessing she got the tantrums from you.” Robert quips, then dodges the smack headed his way.
“Hey,” Chad says as they get into the car, “You still up for meeting my mother? She’s, uh… a little farther.”
“Sure,” Robert replies, buckling his seatbelt. “We’re already here. Besides, you’re driving.” He pats his slightly more rounded stomach with a groan. “Ohhhh, I’m so full.”
“Good, your skinny bitch ass needs to gain more weight.”
They drive in comfortable silence for a few seconds before Robert speaks again.
“Does mama mean uncle?”
“Yeah. Mother's brother. The word for father's brother is kaka. Maman is mom.”
“Hehe. Mama Chad.”
“Fuck you, I’d be a wonderful mother.”
“And on the subject of mothers, any advice before I meet yours? Anything I shouldn’t talk about?”
“Eh, she’s quiet.” Chad snorts, then giggles. “Real quiet.”
—
HERE LIES
SHAHZADI HAJIRA ZAHIR
“Told you she’s real quiet.”
Robert pinches the bridge of his nose. “… What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Chad laughs loudly, shaking his head as he steps forward to place the flowers down gently on his mother’s grave. He’d thought it was sweet, earlier, that Chad had insisted on bringing flowers, so he didn't bother questioning it, even when he laid eyes on the bouquet and immediately thought they looked like sad flowers.
Can flowers even look sad? That sounds like a stupid thing to have thought.
Chad returns to his side, and they stand there for a moment, both of them just looking at the headstone in a heavy but not uncomfortable quiet.
“Think she wanted to name me Shaad. After her.” Chad says after a beat. “Don’t know where the fuck she got ‘Karen’ though.”
“Oh,” Robert murmurs, eyes tracing the name carved into the stone. “Your niece’s name… it had Shahzadi in it too, right?”
“Yeah. Said it’s ‘cause they got the same eyes, though even if they didn’t, my sister probably would have still named her that.”
Robert hesitates for a second before speaking again, lifting a hand in a small, uncertain gesture toward the grave. “Could I ask how she…?”
Chad doesn’t answer right away, and when Robert glances over, he sees emotions flickering behind the man’s eyes, tight and conflicted.
“She started getting sick when we moved,” He says finally, the words coming out a little wooden, as if picking them carefully before they leave his tongue. “I thought that was what was gonna kill her, but… no. I lost control of my powers for a split second and startled her. She fell off the ladder and…”
Chad lets out another breath, louder this time, and shakier. “Everyone keeps telling me it wasn’t my fuckin’ fault, but it sure as hell feels like it is. Wouldn’t have happened if I’d learned to control my goddamn powers.” The last few words are practically dripping with vitriol, and for a brief moment, flames flicker along his shoulders, bright and angry, but they die down just as quickly.
“That’s when we met, actually.” Chad says.
Robert blinks. “Huh?”
“After she passed I just…” Chad mimes an explosion with his hands. “Flew into the first fuckass building I saw and…” Chad wiggles the fingers on his right hand and wags his brows. “Then there was you.”
Robert, for the first time in a long time, is rendered completely speechless. “Uh. S… Sorry…?”
Chad flicks him on the forehead.
“Ow! Why do you keep doing that?!”
“I wasn’t telling you my fucking sob story to hear you apologize, dumbass. I just wanted you to know why I was there all those years ago.” Chad reaches out to rub the reddened spot on Robert’s forehead with his thumb. “It was easier to blame it all on you, you know? You ruined my life, not me. Because why would I fucking blame myself if I could blame some other fucker I didn’t know? And now I do know you, and fuck… Robert. You’re the reason I can still look my family in the eyes.”
That's... Robert doesn't think he deserves all the credit for that, and just as he opens his mouth to disagree, Chad blows out a breath through his lips, whuffling. “This talking shit is hard. No wonder you hate doing it.”
“I talk all the time,” Robert protests automatically. “What are you talking about?”
“Inspirational speeches don’t count, Mel Gibson.”
“Hey!” Robert gasps, delighted. “I got that reference!”
Chad stares for a moment, and then he’s smiling too, reaching out to pinch Robert’s cheek and puuull.
“Ow. Owwwww.”
“We gotta get some more meat in you, man. Barely anything to pinch here.”
“I’d say I get plenty of your meat. Too much at times, even.”
“Seriously? Right in front of my mother? You’re disgusting Bob-Bob.”
Robert laughs, resting his head on Chad’s shoulder when the other finally lets go of his cheek. “I’m glad I found you in time then.” He murmurs.
Chad pats his head, then his lips press to Robert’s temple.
The drive back is short, but long enough that Robert has time to ruminate on his life up to this point. His mind turns inward, retracing the long, uneven path that had led him here. He thinks of every misstep, every missed chance, every time someone would reach out to him and he refused to reach back.
It’s not easy to admit, not even to himself, but he knows that back then he had already given up his life. He’d felt it was unreasonable to want or to build anything that might last. Why root yourself to the ground, after all, when you’re convinced you won’t be there long enough to grow?
Shroud had inadvertently changed that by trying to kill him. He’d knocked Robert off the trajectory he’d been hurtling towards with a bomb to the back of the suit. If he’d never asked Visi to do that, and if things had gone differently… He can’t help but wonder. Would he have been dead by now?
Is it not ironic that the man who tried to end his life might have been the reason he’s still alive at all?
Robert understands Chad now, more than ever, recognizing bits and pieces of himself as Chad confides in him. He knows what it’s like to feel as if you don’t have control over your own life, to feel like you’re being pushed toward something you never chose. The haunting certainty that your life has already been decided for you, and not in any way you ever wanted.
He’s not sure what possesses him to actually open up, or maybe he does know. Chad had let him in, and Robert, for once in his short miserable life, would like to leave the door open for someone else.
“I don’t remember my mother.” Robert starts. Beside him, Chad stiffens just slightly in surprise, but only for a few seconds. He nods, and Robert takes that as a sign to continue.
“She and my father fought for custody over me, apparently. But then she settled. In the end, it came down to nine million dollars or me.” Robert lets out a self-deprecating scoff, “Wasn’t even worth the double digits.” He mutters.
“There’s a part of me that wonders what my life may have been like, if I’d ended up with her instead. But I don’t know. I don’t even know why there was a fight in the first place. Or maybe the fight was over who didn’t have to take me, and she won.”
“You can’t honestly think that.” Chad says.
“I don’t know what else to think. My father had custody of me but he was never home, it was always just Chase, and I— Okay, that’s. That’s another thing to unpack that I don’t think I can… Not today.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Chad.” Robert says, and although they’re not looking at each other (and they shouldn’t, Chad’s fucking driving, that’s how people die) he hopes his partner can hear the sincerity in his voice. “I want to.”
Chad is silent again, and Robert takes that as a ‘go ahead then.’
“Now where was I? Oh right, father was never home, all alone in some million dollar mansion. Ugh. Sound like a nepo-baby celebrity trying to relate to the masses.” He rubs his arm consciously.
“He was a great hero. No doubt about that. I think…” He swallows. “I think he loved being a hero more than he loved me, though. He wanted to be out there, with other people, and he cared about these strangers more than he ever cared about me and I don’t understand what it was about me that was so unlovable that both my parents didn’t want to be around—”
Robert suddenly chokes.
Fuck.
His hands are shaking, and he realizes, as his eyes spill over, that this is the first time he’d ever opened these cans of worms. He didn’t expect acknowledging something he’d kept buried deep down for years to hurt this much. Like peeling off the scabs, thinking his wounds wouldn't bleed.
He feels the car swerve to the side, and there’s the sound of tires screeching, before he’s being pulled into warmth. Strong arms wrap around him, and Chad always smells nice, like smoke and a campfire and… And it serves to remind him that he’s not alone anymore, that finally, someone wants him too just as much as he wants them.
Chase always did say he was a cry baby.
Robert’s not sure how long he talks after that, but he knows that he tells Chad what he can. He tells the story behind the notch in his ear. The day his father died. The several years that followed, hollow and directionless. He tells Chad about how he’d gone after Shroud with reckless burning intent, hoping it would finally be the end. That he’d die doing something that mattered, and that he’d no longer have to keep trying (and failing) to make his father proud.
He tells Chad about waking up after his four month coma. About the crushing disappointment of being alive and having failed at fulfilling his family’s legacy to die in the suit. He tells Chad about the press-conference, how he’d tried to pretend their words didn’t hurt, how he’d watched the world decide his worth after his retirement, and had made it clear that no one would ever want just Robert.
And then there was the Z-Team.
“I just couldn’t help but see myself in every single one of you.” Robert says, head once more on Chad’s shoulder. They’re now parked somewhere in the outskirts of the city, the two of them sitting on the still warm hood, looking up at the smattering of stars lighting up the sky.
“I knew what it felt like to have everyone give up on you, to think you’re nothing. I just… I didn’t want anyone else feeling that way.” Robert tightens his left hand around Chad’s right, “That someone will always believe in you guys, even if it’s just little old me.”
“Then thank you for believing in us.” Chad says, voice uncharacteristically somber and softer than Robert has ever heard it. “And for telling me all this.”
Robert huffs, a little embarrassed by the sincerity of it all. “I didn’t want you to feel like you were the only one putting effort into this. I know it may not seem like it, but I am happy that you opened up to me and let me meet your family.” He shifts slightly to settle more comfortably against Chad. “In another world, I’d have been happy to do the same, but well. Family’s dead. And I’m not sure I’d have let you meet my dad anyway.”
“Well fuck him, I wouldn’t want to meet him either.”
That earns a small laugh from Robert.
“Seriously though? No other family left?” Chad asks after a moment.
“Mm, guess you technically did meet my uncle.”
“Ah… Chase?”
“No. Shroud.”
Chad’s head slowly turns to Robert, eyes wide with complete and utter bafflement. “Shroud?” He repeats, “Fucking- Red Ring Shroud? Is your uncle? Biologically!?”
“I don’t know about biologically, but he did sort of raise me with my dad…” He trails off suddenly. “Oh my god, were they a thing?” Robert straightens up, now also horrified. “Were they—? My dad and—? No.”
“You know what? I remember getting minor gay vibes from him, but commenting on it while he was trying to kill all of us seemed like a bad time.” Chad admits, then circles back. “Then Chase is not your uncle?”
“He’s not actually that old. He just looks old. He’s more of a big brother. Although I guess he was more of a father figure than my actual father ever was, but it feels wrong to think of him that way.”
(Robert wonders if he’d just grown an aversion to the word ‘father’ itself and now feels insulted to label Chase with it.)
“But he is family, and that’s all that matters. Who cares who he really is, biologically?” Robert says.
“Yeah. I get that.” Chad agrees.
They lapse into another comfortable silence, and Robert feels light, like he could float into the sky and touch the stars above them.
He’s never really understood why anyone would ever want to do this, to hand over the ugliest and heaviest parts of themselves to someone else. He’d always believed it meant burdening them, adding weight to their shoulders, and then they’d realize it’d be easier if they never had to carry any of it at all in the first place and leave.
But a burden shared is a burden halved.
He understands now that it isn’t passing the weight off to someone else. It’s splitting it with someone else, having someone take hold of the other side and realizing that the very thing you thought could crush you to the ground could after all be held easily by two people or more.
—
(The contemplative silence doesn’t last very long. Come on, lying under the stars with your extremely hot boyfriend where no one else can see the two of you? What did Robert think was going to happen?)