Work Text:
Max Verstappen✅️ @maxverstappen
Damn. I can look at him ALL DAY. God sure has a favourite.
💬 123 🔃 7890 ♡9867
lin @bobbaaa
is max mistaking this for his private acc or am i tripping
fay @piastriff
omg max confessing on main?
b🐱 @biameow
Ok now tell me who this fine man is
Albon @alexalbono
Wait holy shitksjsk
***
Max and George texting:
The watch at Max wrist showed the number 11.15 AM and he was pacing at his office.
"Sir?" Philipe raised his eyebrows. Knowing it is unusual to see Max pacing around in his office unless there's some big problem in the company. But the last time he check, everything is fine. The meeting, the report, the budget, everything is fine.
"Philipe, do I look okay?"
That was alarmingly unusual.
"You look presentable, Sir. As usual." Philipe replied calmly. "Is there something on your schedule that I miss for today, Sir?"
"No. It's just a lunch. With George."
Philipe stilled. He remember that name.
"George? Mr. Russell from Engineering Department, Sir? The same Mr. Russell from your childhood?"
"Yes, Philipe. The one and only."
Philipe smiled a little. It has been a long time since he sees Max looking nervous like this. Though he know himself how strict Ben Verstappen towards Max was. The man didn't even let Max having a girlfriend or boyfriend when he was already in university and saying it's a waste of time because Max won't marry them. And even after university, Philipe noticed how Max seems to avoid any kind of relationship. He doesn't date anyone. Even when he is close to someone, it was all casual which usually ended after 2-3 months. Especially after his father tried to set him up with the daughter of some other billionaire his father know. Max hated it. Hated his father more.
***
Lunch at the cafetaria today is a bit crowded. George thinks it probably because of the new chef who is an Asian. And his food is great, so far. Today schedule is Asian cuisine but George didn't know which Asian country it is this time. It was Korean last week.
George is looking at the board and he sees Indonesian cuisine written there. He has never visited Indonesia before but he has some Indonesian friends who invited him over during holidays and their food is amazing.
Looking at the list of the menu, George decided he would try some Pecel (steamed vegetables with savory peanut sauce), Ayam Bakar (roasted chicken), Tahu Isi (tofu filled with stir fry vegetabkes), and Rempeyek (deep fried Javanese traditional crackers) which looked interesting.
The usual loud laughter and chatters of the office workers that usually heard during lunch is suddenly fell into silence. The reason for that is because of Max, their boss, appeared from the doorway. Everyone is looking at the doorway, surprised and a little bit nervous.
"Max can be scary sometimes, I swear. It's shocking to see him at the cafetaria." Alex murmured to George who is standing beside him. George is laughing a little.
"Actually I might be responsible for this."
"What?"
But before Alex get his reply, George already out from the queue with his lunch tray and calling Max loud enough to be heard by everyone in the cafetaria.
Max expression automatically changed. His face softens and smile bloomed on his face. Everyone in the room looked stricken, either by Max's smile or the fact that George can act so normal with their boss. But then again some of them also remember the tweet incident where Max talked about George. Maybe it is true after all. Their boss is having some kind of relationship with George.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Alex whispered after he take a seat beside George. "You don't mind the others looking at you differently after this?" He make sure Max is still in the queue.
George groaned a little. "At first, yes. But now, I don't think like that anymore. I don't care what they say. Max is my childhood friend, Alex. And I actually enjoy spending my time with him when we were kids, when we were in university. So I don't see why I can't do the same thing with him now just because he is the one who pay our salary."
"Good point." Alex agreed. "Oh, he is coming!"
Max put his tray on the table and take a seat in front of George. He is very nervous to meet George again like this, but he will never admit it out loud.
"Max, this is Alex."
Despite all the nervousness, Alex brings his hand first for handshake with Max.
"Alex? From Finance, yeah?" Max take Alex hand for a firm handshake.
"Yes, Sir."
"No, please drop the formality. We are having a lunch now. You are George's friends, not my coworker."
George smiled at Alex while jabbing his ribs with his index finger. Alex glared at him.
"Are you free this Friday? Alex and I are having a little party at his apartment. It's his birthday." George asked him, smiling. Beautiful crescent and pretty eyelashes.
God, he wanted to touch.
Max looks a bit surprised. "Is it really okay for me to join? I mean, I don't want to make things awkward."
It hasn't been 10 minutes and Max can feel he already regret this. George smiles all too warm and bright and familiar at him. He feels weak and he feels like George and his pretty big blue eyes can see through him from this close.
"Nonsense. It's just Alex, his girlfriend, me, and you."
Max hesitated but he then nodded which earned him a scream of joy from George. Max heart swell and he think he doesn't regret this anymore.
***
Alex’s birthday party ended at 11 PM and George decided to go home with Max because he doesn't bring his car and he was already sleepy. There had been a lot of work at the office that week, so maybe that was why he felt more tired than usual.
“Do you want us to stop at a pharmacy?” Max asked gently. George looked calm as he sat next to the driver’s seat.
“No need, Max. I'm fine. Thank you for asking.”
“Can I ask you something?”
George turned his head to look at Max with a serious expression this time. He nodded.
“What made you change your mind?”
"Because I stopped caring of what people might think about me. You were my childhood friend, Max. I like spending time with you back then when I was kid, when we met again in university. I enjoyed all the time I spent with you. We were good friends. We are. I still think of you as one. So, I don't really see the reason why I can't do the same now just because you're my boss." George was talking slowly. He looks really sleepy but he trying hard to keep his eyes open.
"I'm glad you think that." Max started. "I'm sorry I haven't reached out all these years. I was just scared you didn't want to talk to me anymore because I'm the boss and I know you hate the attention on you. You don't want people to think you get your job because you have a connection through me. That's why I didn't reach out to you or try to talk to you even though we have the chance to." He looked at George and he sees George smiling at him.
"It's okay, Max. We can always try again. We are doing it right now, aren't we?"
George is giving him sleepy smile again and Max feel the warmth it offers. He think it's more than enough.
***
Days after that become lighter and brighter for Max. He doesn't want to admit it but deep down he is thankful for George for always making him feel comfortable and safe and he can breathe easier.
George✨️🖤
max
are u still up there in ur office
9.12 PM
Max
Yes
Why
9.13 PM
Max is smiling fondly at his phone. George must be about to ask him to go home together again. And he is so happy with this new habbit.
George✨️🖤
lets go home
its late
you cant say no
i will wait for u to come down in 5 mins
9.15 PM
Max
Yes, Princess
There are some warm, comfortable feelings whenever Max see George. The pretty blue eyed man didn't need to do anything else and Max always feel so comfortable at the sight of him.
And his perfume too. Max also has been thinking about George's perfume. It's a soft smell he didn't really know exactly what smell it is but it smell like tea. And Max doesn't even drink tea in general. He is more like a coffee person. But the tea smell from George, it makes him feel warm and comfortable. He wanted to hug the taller man, bury his nose in George neck but he know George probably will punch him for it.
"Hi, Princess." It was the first thing Max said when he meet George inside the lift. They're going down together to the parking lot at the basement.
Another thing Max like to do when George around is to tease him. He always love to see how George cheeks blooming pink or red, and the way his lips spread into a beautiful smile or grin like the sunrise in spring.
Not this time though. George throwing him a murderous glare.
Still pretty though. Max chuckled.
George sending him another glare and Max laughed.
"You keep calling me that. Stop it."
"Why? It suits you." Max was looking at him through his eyelashes with a shy smile. His cheeks pink.
"Suits me how?" George realised it late. He should have not asked that question. Big mistake.
Max looked up. His face serious but there's so much feelings in his eyes. Soft, gentle, fond and George can not escape. He is fucked.
"You have pretty hair. Prettier face. Prettier eyes. Prettier eyelashes. Prettier nose. Prettier lips. And warm, soft, prettiest heart."
That put anything George about to say into shame.
Philipe just grins behind Max, listening calmly to the whole thing like he was not there at all.
***
It was raining outside when Max decided to skipped his German class again. He was fluent at it since he was eleven, so he didn't see the purpose of attending the class now. He opened the library door quietly, the librarian didn't very fond of him because of his habit of skipping classes. He didn't find the librarian at her desk, so he continue to walk and went to the shelf he knew well because he had been walking there, picking up a book multiple times from the same shelf.
Charles Dickens.
Dan Brown.
Ernest Hemingway.
Max stopped, looking at the shelf. He found Angel and Demon at the top shelf he can not reach.
Damn.
He was not short by any means. It was just the librarian being unfair or it might be students that putting the novel back without caring about the library rules because as long as Max remember, students have to put the book back to where its being put at before.
Max was trying again by reaching out his one hand and tip toeing.
"Do you need help?" The voice almost startled Max. It was boyish, cheerful voice from behind and then a long arm stretched above his head, taking the book he wanted.
"This is your book, am I right?"
Max Verstappen doesn't really believe in angels and devils like what his parents told him, but now that he looked up at the boy who was standing in front of him, holding out his novel to him, Max might be a new believer.
The boy eyes were so bright, Max almost think he was not real. The boy was too pretty to be real.
His eyes were very blue, with a bit of grey-ish that makes Max feel like he's been hipnotised. Wavy golden hair, pretty blue eyes with prettier long eyelashes, prettier nose and much prettier lips. Everything about this boy is pretty.
His eyelashes.
God.
The way his eyelashes caressed his cheeks every time the boy blinks.
Beautiful.
Max felt his heart stopped beating for a few seconds just by looking at the boy in front of him. He can't stop staring while his brain scrambling nonsense inside his head.
Goddamn.
Max wanted to touch them. Damn. He cursed himself loudly in his head because it's not polite to stare and more importantly it's absolutely not very polite to think of wanting to touch a someone eyelashes you don't even know their name is. Even though their eyelashes are so pretty.
Wait. Max remember those eyes. But who?
"Uhm...hey, you okay?" The beautiful blue eyes boy said again after Max didn't take the novel from his hand. "Do you feel unwell?"
"Uh, ah, sorry." Max find himself stutter and he wanted to slap himself. "Thank you." He said quietly, not looking at the beautiful boy in front of him because he need to fucking stop staring. The boy probably think he's creepy. And Max won't have any chance meet him again because the boy hate him for being a creep.
"It's a pleasure to help." The boy giggled and Max think his heart just exploded. His brain stopped working altogether. "My name is George. And you are?"
Beautiful blue eyes looked at him again, a crescent and long eyelashes. Pink cheeks and full lips. Max was hardly breathing. He started sweating. He lost his words, mind blank. He thinks about the sea and the sky, which one has the most similarity to George's beautiful blue eyes. And Max think that maybe it's the sky that has the more similarity.
"You're spacing out again, mate." Followed by giggles.
Fuck. Stop.
Max cursed at himself again in his head. "Uh, hi. I'm Max."
It was felt like spring again when George smiled at him. So bright and warm, Max didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay forever.
"Nice to meet you, Max."
"Yeah, nice to meet you too, George."
It was not nice to meet you, George. It was amazing to meet you.
***
It wasn't until four greetings and three reading sesions later when finally Max remember who George really is.
"What are you all idiot doing?"
Nine-years-old Max with wet eyes, wet nose and red cheeks looked up from where the other kids pushed him on the ground.
"I will make sure the teachers and the principal heard about this. Go now before I scream for help. You know I'm being serious."
The other kidsㅡMax bullies looked at each other in horror. Even though George is skinnier than all of them but they know they can't really fight or bully George because George will tell his uncle who is also the principal. Not to mention, the mayor is George's uncle too.
They scrambled, running and leaving Max and George alone in the school park.
"Do you want me to help you stand?" Nine-years-old George didn't wait for Max reply and grab Max hands to help the shorter boy stand. "Where is your dad? Why do you always last to go home?"
"How did you know I always the last to go home?"
George looked at Max. Smiling apologetically, "Uhm, I heard my uncle and the teacher talked about you. And your parents too. I'm sorry."
Max didn't say anything for a while. He just keep looking at George. He know who George is. Everyone knows. George is a nice, loud kid who befriends with everyone. He also one of the smartest kids in school. Max know George is nice because he often see George defending their classmate who gets bullied by other kids. And no one is brave enough to bully George because George usually tell his uncle about all the bullying he sees at school.
"Why did you help me? You knew about my parents."
"It's adults business. We are just kids. It's not your fault that your parents divorced. I saw the other kids bully you more than once and that's wrong and unfair. Why did you not fight them back?"
"They were right, you know. About my parents. That's why I don't fight back. They were right. My mom left because she didn't love me and my dad didn't love me either. He has found a new family."
"My uncle said bad things about your father. He doesn't like your father."
Max found himself smile a little at that. "What about you?"
George looked at Max and smiling at him. "I'm just a kid but I don't like your father either. Parents should not make their kids feel bad or cry. That's just wrong."
"Thank you. That means a lot."
"Anything for a friend." George said, grinning wide and Max can't help but grinning wide too. For the first time since his mom left him with his dad, Max feel warm and safe. George smile is very beautiful and Max like it very much.
Max and George friendship only last for six months before Ben VerstappenㅡMax's dad decided to move to Germany with Max along with his new family.
No one knew how heartbroken Max was. George was one of his few friends. His dad has always been a strict father and businessman. He didn't let Max playing around too much because his dad think Max has to focus more on studying so that he could take over his dad's company in the future. He also doesn't care that Max get bullied as he see it as the normal kids playing with each other and think Max should not be weak and able to take care of it himself.
"Don't forget me. We will meet again when we're older."
"You're probably the one who will forget me." George was smiling but there was no usual sparkle in his eyes. He felt sad to let his friend go.
"I will not forget you. I will be looking for you if we didn't meet again until we're 20." Max looked at George seriously while George laughed at Max serious expression.
"I will be here waiting for you to come looking for me then. But what if we don't recognise each other? You know, we grow up and sometimes we look different."
"I won't forget you. I will always remember you."
George laughed again, thinking Max was being funny because he was so serious like an adult already. But deep down, George really hope they will meet again one day in the future where they will be older. George was also hope that Max will always be safe without him being there to help.
Max felt his eyes hot when George hugged him. His tears falling and he felt so sad that he want to stay here with George.
"Don't cry, Maxie." George said softly as his hand caressing Max back up and down slowly like how he always see his dad doing it to his mom whenever his mom is sad or crying.
"I will miss you so much." Max whispered, cheeks red and wet with unstoppable tears.
"I will miss you more." George replied. "Please, promise me that you will fight back if anyone ever bully you again. Promise?"
Max eyes were still wet with tears. He was smiling a little and nodded on George's shoulder. He didn't want to let go of George hug. He wanted to hug George forever. He felt safe and comfortable with him. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to leave.
"I don't want to leave. I want to stay here with you. I don't want to leave, George." Max was sobbing and George hugged him tighter with tears on his cheeks.
***
Knowing George has a girlfriend from social media is one thing but seeing George walking hand in hand with his girlfriend, seeing the girl kissed George lips while George kissed her back is a whole different thing.
Max can not breath. He feel dizzy, he almost lost his balance.
"Fuck." He whispered while holding his chest. His eyes feel hot and he knows he is about to cry soon.
He looked at George and his girlfriend again and he saw George giving his girlfriend a piggyback ride. They laughed loudly.
They look happy.
George looks happy.
But Max can't bring himself to be happy.
"Max? Did someone hit you? And you're limping too!?"
George was happy to finally be back to school after he was sick for two days. He was miserable for two days because he wanted to study at school with his friends and also he wanted to meet Max but he can't because he was sick.
"George? You're back!" Max eyes automatically shine brighter the moment his eyes landed on George. "Were you sick? Alex told me you were."
George smiled and nodded. "But I'm okay now. No worries." He put his hand around Max shoulder. "Now tell me, what happened to your face? And legs."
Max was silent for a few seconds. "My dad. Nothing new. But my legs hurt because of my own stupidity. I fell this morning, so yeah."
"You're not lying, are you?" George asked carefully. There were times before when he asked about Max injury and the shorter boy lied to him, saying he fell by himself when it was all his dad doing.
"No, George. I promise you I won't lie to you. I keep my promise."
George smiled, ruffling Max hair fondly.
"Come, get on my back." Max was surprised to see George stopped in front of him and actually asking him to get on his back. "Your legs must be hurt. This is the only thing I can do as a friend." He added. "And I wish I could punch your dad for hitting you again and again. He is evil."
Max is crying. He misses George. The younger George and the present George, he misses all of them.
He wanted to feel George arms around him again. He wanted to feel the spring again. He is tired of the dark, cold and harsh winter he has to go through all alone. Having George in his arms is the only time when he can feel the warmth of the sun, the cool of the wind and the peace of silence.
***
Max knows he can be stupid sometimes. Especially when it comes to George and any time that man near him. He can't really think properly.
Like how he decided to have lunch on the roof where there is a small garden that his father build there to be used publicly with all the staff in the company. He was just stepped his foot on the rooftop when he saw George sitting under a blooming white magnolia tree. The same tree he planted when he was twenty years old.
"Max? Why are you reading a book about flowers all of sudden?" Twenty-years-old George was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
"Shut it! I'm not doing this for dating purpose, okay stop looking at me like a creep." Max glared at the English man which only earn him a giggle from George. "I just want to plant a tree. Or a flower. There is still some space left on the rooftop company garden."
"Oh. I think I can help you choose, if you want." George was now sitting right beside Max and taking a peek at the book in Max hands. "So, flower tree?"
The white magnolia tree is chosen by George. And now he is sitting under it. Max was almost taking a turn, thinking he can't face George now while everything is still a mess inside his head and inside his heart.
"George, why did you choose this tree?" Max asked one night when they're hanging out in Max apartment.
George was smiling at him softly, eyes full of those sparkles that Max always love to see ever since he was a kid. Max didn't let himself blink because doesn't want to miss George blinks. Because when George blinks, his pretty, long eyelashes caress his cheeks gently. It was all like a slow motion for Max. He wanted to kiss those cheeks and eyelashes and see whether it was as soft as it looked or not.
"White magnolia tree is often seen as a symbol of gentle but resilient. Like you."
Max sighed too loudly for his own liking. He is not ready to meet George. He should go back to his office or maybe the canteen.
"Max?"
Too late.
George already see him.
"Are you going to lunch? You can sit here with me." He said with a smile while tapping the side of the bench beside him that is empty.
Max wanted to refuse but also at the same time, he wants to see George. He wants to sit close to him. He misses him so bad that it hurts to think about it.
So, there he is. Stupid Max decides to sit down beside George and opened the lunch box that Philipe has prepared for him.
They eat in silence.
It's a nice day outside. It was a few days in spring. The wind is cool and soft.
"God, you are still so messy when you eat, huh, Maxie?"
Max suddenly feel like his soul left him the moment he feel George's thumb on his bottom lip. He freeze, his heart feel like its dropping on his stomach.
It's a slow motion again where George is laughing, probably looking at his stupid expression. Head thrkwing back showing a long, pretty neck and prettier collar bone which Max has been trying not to look because all he can think when he see George neck and collarbone is to bite and taste.
There are those sparkles again in George eyes. Beautiful crescent and blue eyes. Pretty eyelashes. Pretty cheeks. Pretty nose. Pretty lips.
Oh, fuck.
Max brain has stopped working. But not his eyes though. Because he can't seem to bring his eyes to stop looking at George like a creep.
"Fuck." Max cursed at himself our loud causing George to look at him with a confusion.
"What?"
"You are fucking beautiful and I feel like a creep for staring at you."
Despite hearing it from Max for so many times in his life, George can't really be normal about it. He thinks he will never be able to be normal about it especially when it comes from Max saying him being beautiful.
George stopped laughing in an instant. He feels like Max can see him through. He is freezing for a second and then his cheeks are hot and he knows Max definitely noticed it by now.
"Can you stop saying things like that?" He sulks.
Max smiled knowingly. "Like what? Saying you're beautiful?" George feels his cheeks get hotter than before.
"I'm just being honest, you know. You are always so beautiful, I need to say it to you. I need you to know how you make me feels."
"How do I make you feel?"
Max then sit closer to him, leaned closer to his face. He could see the specks and shimmering lines in the man’s eyes, shining like stars in the night sky. His long, curly eyelashes framing his eyes beautifully and Max wanted to taste and kiss it, if he was allowed to.
"Happy. You make me happy since the day we met when we were nine. You are my angel, schatje." Max stopped for a moment to drink in George expression. "And you make me feel safe. You always make me feel warm despite the cold in my life. You also make me a better version of myself, schatje."
George is looking at him with wide eyes. There are tears brimming in the corner of his eyes and Max feels his chest tighten a little.
"No, don't." Max wiping softly at the corner of George eyes. "I know I should not be the one to wipe your tears. You have a girlfriend now and I'm sorry if I cross the line. But I always wish for your happiness." He didn't stop looking at George until a few seconds later when he think he needed to stop or he will never be able to later.
Max stood up and walk away. He didn't look back, he forced himself not to because he knew he would see tears on George cheeks and no powers in this world would be able to make him walk away from that if he stayed.
***
It has been 3 months since last Max talked to George on the phone. And it has been around 2 months since they last talking to each other for more than one minute long and with a proper eye contact. Max avoid George like a plague. It's his mission and he is comitted to it very seriously.
Everything is normal. At least that's what Max try to tell himself even though the reality is not like that at all. He purposely avoid George or running into him agan because it hurts his heart to think about how there is someone out there who calls George as her boyfriend and that person is not him. It hurts to know that George is happier with someone else. He is not ready to face that fact so soon after he reconnect with George.
Not that he didn't know the bright red impossible when it comes to relationship with George. He know George only think of him as a friend. Even after he made himself clear about his feeling towards the British blue eyed man, he know it impossible. He has been trying to make a peace with it a long time ago. But doesn't mean it hurts less to know that George has a girlfriend and to live in the same universe as George and his girlfriend. He feels suffocated. He can't keep pretending it doesn't affect him.
Max wanted to fly away. Max wanted to go away. Max wanted to run. He wanted to forget.
George has been the only thing that keep him alive all these years. George is his anchor. George keeps him stay and sane during his terrible time with his strict, abusive father for years. George is the only person who did it without even trying.
Thinking about meeting again with George when they're older and he is a better, stronger Max than before is what keeps him going all these years. He wanted to make George proud of him.
"Sir?"
He sighed loudly, once again disappointed at himself for thinking about George again. He didn't mean to do that. He told himself he should not do that.
"What is it?"
"It's already ten. Would you want me to call your driver now?"
Max didn't answer, but he gives Philipe a small nod. And Philipe, bless his soul, walked and bow a little before continue his steps with phone already on his ear.
It has been a while for Max to go home this late. A few months before, he always go home a little after 8 or 9 at night because of George. They don't always go home together because George usually bring his own car, but the blue eyed man usually texted him whether he want to take a lift together to the parking lot.
And Max, being as stupid as he is, of course said yes. His personal assistant and his driver were shocked to find this out the first time because Max never do that before, no. It didn't usually work like that for Max because he is the boss. He simply walk to the company entrance and the driver will wait there for him with the car.
"No George tonight either, Sir?"
Max always truly grateful for Philipe existence because the old man is more like his father figure than his personal assistant, but sometimes Philipe is just too knowing, too sensitive with everything that is going on with Max, he doesn't like it. Especially at times like this.
"Philipe, don't." Max replied tiredly. "Let's not talk about him."
"You are back to your old self, Max and I don't like to sit still while you're being like this."
"Just let me be. There is nothing you can do. I will be fine again eventually."
"How about a vacation?"
There is a long pause before Max answered. "Are you sure?" Max doesn't really do vacation. He doesn't remember the last time he take any vacations.
"You need it. How does 2 weeks vacation sound?"
"You know just because I'm the boss now, I can't take that long of vacation." Max smiled a little and Philipe did the same.
"I will make sure you can, Max." It's a promise. And with Philipe, it means it will definitely happen on his watch.
"Thanks, Philipe." Philipe smiled and look at Max knowingly.
***
The news spread like a new deadly virus. By 11 AM, everyone in the office, even the security personel from night shift already know that their big boss, Max Verstappen was fainted during a weekly meeting with the managers.
One of them who heard the news is none other than George Russell.
"This is new. Who could have thought our CEO fainted during a meeting?" Whispered one of the staff too loudly.
"We never saw him sick and take a day off before though."
"I know right. This is the first time it happened."
"He needs a wife, seriously. Or a husband."
"He is married to the job."
Several staff laughed altogether.
"Who would want to marry him though? We all know he is a distand person. He is cold. He doesn't even smile to us."
"Well, at least he is rich."
"Get back to work everyone. Stop gossiping too much especially if it was someone who paid your fucking salary and has the right to fire you." George trying not to shout from where he stands after coming back fom the toilet.
He was disappointed and angry at how those people think of Max. Yes, Max can be too much sometimes. But Max is reasonable and he is a good person. Max doesn't like to sugarcoating anything. He doesn't do small talk either. He works really hard for this company and people should be able to see that fact.
Anyway.
Max? Fainted? What the fuck happened?
***
George didn't know why he is here, in front of the door of Max's office. He didn't think much actually, he just walking and he wants to see Max. He knows Max doesn't go home yet and probably resting in the bedroom inside his office.
"George?" Philipe comes from behind him while bringing a tray of what looked like food and water in his hands.
"Can you open the door for me, please?" Philipe asked and George nodded.
They both entered the room and George is taken aback to find how long it has been since he entered Max's office the last time.
"I assume you're here to see Max?" Philipe looking at George with a glint in his eyes.
"Will that be okay?" George asked carefully. And if he had to be honest with himself, he didn't think it is okay to see Max now. After the last text exchange with Max a few months ago, he actually feel a bit of guilty. Max is hurt and he is the reason of that, even though he didn't do it on purpose.
"I will go in and try to ask Max. I can't promise you anything."
George nodded, looking a bit down but he knew what Philipe saying is right. If Max didn't want to meet him now, he can always come back in a few days or maybe tomorrow.
Philipe came back not too long after and trying to put the most neutral look on his face.
"He will be going home in an hour. You can come in and see him for a bit."
George sighed, a faint smile coming to his face. "Thanks, Philipe." He walked past Philipe into Max office bedroom nervously.
Max's office bedroom is simple. Nothing too much. A king size bed, wardrobe, table and chair and a door which George assume as a bathroom and toilet.
In the middle of the king size bed and fluffy grey blanket, there is Max and the moment George opened the door, the Dutch man eyes were on him automatically. There's softness there. The way Max eyes changed, his whole body relaxed. It was as if just seeing George was enough to lift some of his burden weight off his shoulders.
George felt like someone punched him right on his chest. His eyes started to burn.
"Why are you here?"
"I want to see you." George stopped beside the bed and invite himself to sit in the chair next to the bed.
Max closed his eyes for a few seconds. "You don't have to. Don't feel bad."
"I'm not doing this because I feel bad." George looked at Max with hopeful eyes. "We are friends, aren't we? Friends look after each other when one of them is sick."
With a deep sigh, Max finally looking at George again. The blue eyed man looks perfectly fine, healthy and beautiful like the usual, unless for the eyes that look a little tired more than the normal George he used to see. And Max thinks that maybe George is having a problem with his girlfriend right now? He is not sure, but that is possible.
But how can someone having a fight or problem with George? Because George is...George. He is likeable, very much so. He makes good jokes, he greets everyone, he makes everyone feel comfortable around him, he is kind. It is impossible to have any problem with George Russell.
Yet, here he is.
"You don't look well." Max commented softly. He can not stop looking at George because it has been a while since they last saw each other. And Max think this could be the last time he will be able to see George freely just for himself, just the two of them in a room. This might be his last chance before he let go of his stupid crush and feelings for George. He knows that he has to let go at some point. It has been years already. There is no point of holding on to something that is never there in the first place. There is no hope. It is never been there in the first place when all George can think of him is only as a friend. Nothing more.
George Russell will always be the sun in Max Verstappen's cold and dark life. George will always be his anchor, his lighthouse and his moon in his life. Max can see him, he can worship him, he can be close to him but not too close, never too close or else he will get burned and drowned.
George Russell will always be the lullaby in Max Verstappen's night to lull him into a peaceful, warm sleep. George will always be his medicine for his injury. Max can feel the ease, the warmth, the peace, the light and the comfort, but never to touch, never to kiss, never to taste.
And Max Verstappen need to learn to accept that fact from now on.
"Did you not sleep last night?"
George is taken aback because he didn't expect Max to notice. No other coworkers commented about him looking tired recently. Is it really that noticeable?
"I didn't. Do I really look that bad?" He asked Max back with a small smile.
"Not really, but I noticed. You still look pretty as usual, Princess." Max replied softly with a smile on his face. George felt his heart racing, cheeks hot. He takes some deep breath. "You are the one who always comment on my unhealthy working hours, and now look at you. Go take some time to rest at weekend. Don't work overtime."
George feels something warmed inside his chest. He let out a small smile. "You do realize that you're the one in bed, sick right now freshly fainted from exhaustion and stress and whatsoever? And you're telling me to take some time to rest?" His tone is light, full of tease. There are sparkles on his eyes while looking at Max.
Both men looked at each other in silence.
"Don't look at me like that." Max's tone changed. He didn't look at George anymore this time. He need to stop. Greed doesn't take him anywhere, only despair.
"Like what?" George asked seriously. "I didn't know what you mean, Verstappen."
"Like I actually matter to you. Like it means something for you. About me. About us." Max whispered the last word amd close his eyes. He was being harsh on George with a purpose. He knew for a fact that he will always be matter for George because George think of him as his childhood friend. And as much as it soothes Max feelings, it also hurts. He always wanted more.
All George can feel now is anger. "You matter to me, Max! We first met when we were 9 and we were friends since then! Of course I fucking care about you, asshole!" He can feel tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. He doesn't care anymore if Max sees it.
"I think you need to go home. I no longer want talk to you."
It's always like this. Max always lie. Max always hide when things get serious and George doesn't like it.
"You really think you can push me out whenever as you please, don't you?" George trying his best not to scream in front of Max face. "I thought we're friends, Max. Tell me now."
"Do you really think after everything and after years, friendship will be enough for me? I'm not a good man, George. I can also be wanting for more from you. I can be greedy. My crush on you, you knew this has been going for years. But I know it's impossible, I fucking know that and I respect the boundaries. I fucking tried to be friends with you. I thought I can handle it. But now, I'm not so sure anymore. I told you!" Max looked sadly at George before putting his head down, looking completely defeated. "You looked at me like I was matter too in your life and I know that's just inside my stupid head playing with me. Because I know, at the end of the day, being your friend will never be enough for me. It hurts to see you with another person. I'm a greedy, jealous man."
George doesn't know what to reply anymore, but there is an uncomfortable sinking feeling inside him. Max didn't believe him. He had been honest. He care about Max but Max didn't believe him. He hates to see Max acting and thinking this way.
They were silent for a few heartbeats until a gasp coming from George. Max automatically looked at him and he found him crying.
"No, no, no, no. I'm sorry." Max stood up from the bed and sit in front of George. "George, please, look at me."
George obeyed and Max heart felt like being cut open by a blade because the wet, beautiful blue eyes now looking at him with so much pain and Max are too afraid to put names into the look George given him.
"Don't cry. I'm sorry I hurt you, schatje. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry." Max keep saying sorry and bring his hands to wipe George tears.
"No, I'm sorry. This is stupid. I cried out of nowhere. I'm sorry, Max." George said softly. His hands were laid on top of Max hands that still caressing his cheeks. "I'm the one who hurt you. I don't want to. I didn't mean to and I'm sorry."
"This is not your fault. You didn't hurt me on purpose, schat." Max voice was very soft. George wanted to cry again because why Max is so good to him right now. He always so good to him. "And it's okay. I don't mind you're crying in front of me. I will be here for you for as long as you allow me to." Max looked deeply at George eyes before dropping his hands. "You know that I need some more time alone until I can be normal again about you, right? I'm sorry. It might take me a long time to be normal about this." He looked at George with the look of someone who know when to step back and accept the fact that he is not the winner, never will be.
Having the strong urge to hug the shorter man in front of him, George holds himself well to stay in place. His eyes feel hot again and he can feel his tears about to come out. His chest feel heavy, but he doesn't want to cry again in front of Max. He doesn't want Max to worry about him.
"I hope you will get better soon, Max. I'm so fucking sorry." He said too softly, like when he is talking to his sick niece or nephew. He stood up from his chair slowly and look at Max who was also looking at him. Soft, warm, and sad at the same time. All George want to do is stay and feel Max hands on his cheeks again.
***
It's two months later when George meet Max again at Alex engagement party with his girlfriend, Lily.
Max was talking with a group of staff from Quality Department when Ceci, his girlfriend waved at him from the Quality Department groupㅡthe same group where Max is currently talking to.
George felt his chest tightened and decided to slowly walk into the group.
"Hi, baby. Here is your boss, why are you standing there alone?" Ceci greets him with a sweet smile before kissing his lips softly. She looked gorgeous in a red satin dress.
It has been around six months of him dating CeciㅡCecilia Dubrov. She was the one who confessed first and he also liked her back so he said yes.
Ceci was one of his sister's friend from university. She was 2 years younger than him.
"Ah, sorry I was side-tracked by my friend from Marketing." George trying to put on a smile that doesn't even reach his eyes. Ceci furrowed her eyebrows but didn't say anything about it.
"Ah, this is it another top couple we have. George and Ceci, when are you guys going to buy the rings? You guys look so good together." Asked one of the staff, throwing a smile at George and Ceci direction. Totally unaware of George crisis inside his head.
Everyone was looking eagerly at George and Ceci, waiting for answer when Max decided to break the silence.
"Okay, everyone, please enjoy the party. I think I will go home early because I still have some online meeting to attend. Have fun." Max doesn't even want to look at George or Ceci's face right now. He didn't wait for anyone's reply and just left.
And George, oh George. He doesn't know what he is doing until he is running after Max and scream at the man to stop walking and wait for him.
"What the fuck do you want, George? I don't want to see you right now."
Hearing that from Max's mouth, George felt something broken inside him.
"Your girlfriend is a sweet, kind, and smart woman. You guys deserve each other. Just don't talk to me right now, please. I can't and you know why."
Max looked at George. His expression sad, broken. A man who lost. A man who is never meant to be. A man who can only dream.
George looked at Max back and his heart clenched painfully looking at the state that Max in. He caused Max pain. He is the reason Max being hurt right now.
"I'mㅡ" He stopped talking, not knowing how to make everything better for Max. How to make Max eyes sparkle again every time those blue eyes looking at him. Seeing Max watery eyes, he almost bring his hand up to caress Max cheeks, to stop the tears that is almost paainted his cheeks.
Max entered the elevator and George rushed to get inside before the door closed.
"Why are you following me here, George? Go back to your girlfriend. You're going to marry her, aren't you?"
"I don't know." George answered truthfully. He really didn't know why he followed Max into the elevator. He also didn't know whether he want to marry Ceci or not. Their relationship is not that serious yet. All he want is just to make sure Max alright.
Max glared at George.
"What do you mean you don't know? Don't lead her on, George. And stop following me like an idiot. I don't want to see you right now. Get the fuck out."
Max words punched George hard in the face.
"I just want to talk to you." George replied with a small voice. "And I didn't lead her on. We talked before."
"We have nothing to talk and you know that. We cleared things up two months ago. This is not your fault. Never your fault. I'm the jealous, miserable one because I have a stupid crush on you for years, probably since we were nine and I still can't fucking move on. I don't want to see you right now. Please, leave." Max was sad, angry at himself and he didn't realise how close he was actually with George who was standing right in front of him now.
Fuck. Max cursed himself in his head. He didn't realise he take that much step and made himself stand so close to George.
"What if I don't want to leave?" George asked softly. His tone completely changed as his striking blue eyes staring at Max who was also looking at him, surprised at what George actually say. "What if I really don't want to marry Ceci?"
"Fuck you, George. You have a girlfriend. Go back at her. Damn. Don't say nonsense just because I look pathetic."
George can feel Max breath on his face. And to be honest, he doesn't know how to react to that. He doesn't feel uncomfortable or disgusted. Not at all. It was actually the complete opposite. He missed Max. All he want is to have Max close to him and make sure Max is okay and safe and not hurt anymore.
"Max." George whispered, looking deeply into Max eyes. There was the dangerous thought screaming inside his head but he chose not to listen.
"I look pathetic, aren't I?" Max whispered backㅡoh so softly, looking sad and lost and then he feel hands cupped both of his cheeks, before warm thumbs moving, caressed his cheeks softly he feel like melted. He closed his eyes, breathing out feeling so comfortable he wanted to stay like this forever. "Do not fucking started something you can't finish, Russell. Stop this. Whatever this is. I don't need your fucking pity."
Eyes snapped open. Dream shattered and burned. "This is not a pity, Verstappen. Never a pity. And you don't look pathetic. You look so sad, heartbroken and I hate to see you like this." George answered softly. He let his hands rest on both of Max cheeks. "I'm sorry I make you sad. I'm sorry I hurt you for so long."
Max looked up with a surprised expression on his face.
"Stop saying sorry. You can date whoever you want. This is not your fault. Please, leave me alone."
"I don't want to leave you alone, Max. I never want to leave you alone." George caressed Max cheeks gently before he stopped, looking at the man in front of him. "I don't think I want to marry Ceci, you know. I'm being serious right now."
"What?"
"My relationship with her is not that serious yet. And I have been thinking about our relationship for a while now."
"And what's that supposed to mean? Are you going to break up with her?"
George looked at Max, smiling.
***
It was five months later when Max found himself face to face with George right in front of his office door at Thursday, 9 PM.
And Max noticed something was wrong. No, actually he noticed a few things were wrongㅡunusual.
George didn't wear his usual suit for work but imstead he wears a white cardigan over a polo grey shirt and a loose beige pleated pants which means he went home and decided to go back to the company.
And for what? Just to meet me? Crazy. That sounds stupid even in my own head. Max shook his head a few times, trying to clear his head from any stupid thinking about George.
He looks warm and soft and so pretty. Max misses him so much and he just want to hug him for a long time.
"Hi, Max." George smiled and Max felt like it was the first time he meet George when they were kids. It feels like spring all over again. Nine years old George smiling up at him, offering his hands for Max to take.
"Why are you here? You changed your clothes?"
"Yes, I went home. I cooked dinner, change my clothes and then go back here." Sparkling blue eyes still looking at Max and Max was lost again. Oh, so pretty.
And Max must be looking ridiculous, lost in George blue eyes because he heard the taller man giggle oh-sweetly in front of him. He didn't even feel embarrassed anymore because all he want is to hear George giggle again. He missed it. He miss George so much.
"Have you had dinner? Do you mind me bringing you dinner?" Magically, there is a purple Tupperware box in front of Max. His face must be doing another ridiculous expression again because he heard George giggles again. "I will take that as a yes. Now, please let me in."
Max was confused. He didn't really know how to react. He was happy, yes because he missed George like crazy. They were barely see each other for these past 4 months, let alone talk. Max knew that he and George needed space and some time away from each other.
"Are you okay?" Max asked quitely after he took a seat across George in the sofa.
George laughed. "Yes, Max. I'm very okay." He answered with a sweet smile. "I broke up with Ceci 4 months ago. And I think I need to think for a while. We both need that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
Max stunned. George broke up with Ceci? And it was 4 months ago? It was a month after their little fight at the elevator.
"I don't know what to say." Max was being honest. It was too much information to take. A part of him was happy because George is single again. And another part of him feel bad for his posessiveness over George. He has no right to feel this way. George is only a friend.
George was still smiling, relaxed. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything. Now, dinner?"
Max nodded and there was this giddy feeling in his stomach. He felt his cheeks hot when George put his food in front of him. It was brown rice, stir fried chicken and steamed broccoli. Simple but he loves it already.
"Thank you." Max had no idea why he felt shy all of sudden.
"No. Sorry, it's not much."
"This is perfect. I love it." Max quickly replied. "I will eat anything you cook, George." He fight the urge to grin. He also pretended not to notice how hot his cheeks feel especially now that George was looking at him with the same red on his cheeks and ears.
Both men looked away with big smiles adoring their face and red on their cheeks and ears, especially Max.
"God. You're so red. Are you always this red whenever you're shy?"
"Shut up, Russell. I'm eating."
George laughed loudly. His cheeks still red but he doesn't look away anymore. He doesn't want to look away anymore.
A few hours later, Max found himself lying in bed of George guest bedroom. He almost didn't remember how he get here. Everything feels like a dream. An amazing dream, if he was to admit.
After dinner, George asked him to go home together. He said yes and didn't mind at all when George asked him to take him home. He was driving alone because he asked Philipe and his driver to go home first. It was raining the moment they reached George apartment area. And that's how he ended up staying the night at George apartment.
It was 2.15 in the morning when Max wake up and feeling thirsty all of sudden. He opened the door and quitely walking in to the kitchen. He was a bit surprised to find George sitting on the couch in the living room.
"Why are you up? Have you been here long?" Max asked after taking a bottle of water from the refrigator and take a seat beside George.
George looked tired and sleepy, but he looked at Max and smiled. "How are you feeling? Are you happy?"
Max looked at George with confusion. He didn't expect George to ask such question all of sudden.
"Of course I'm happy. Why are you asking that? Is something wrong?" Max sits closer to George, leaning in and looking carefully at his face. "Schat, did something happen?" His hand automatically find George's.
"No, nothing happened. I was just thinking about you, about us." George replied warmly. "I remember when we were kids. I was so happy back then being your friend. I was happy that I could make you happy. You looked so cute I can't see you being sad or cry." He looked at Max with a smile. He still looks tired, but happy.
Max wanted to say something back but he was mesmerized by George eyes and smileㅡlike usual. In the dim light from the kitchen, George looked even more beautiful. His sparkles on his eyes is back and Max promised himself that he will never let that sparkle leave from George's eyes. He will make sure George have them forever. He willㅡany thoughts were forgotten because Max felt George lips on his cheeks.
"Fuck. You distract me so much." Max cursed out loud and George was giggling at him. "George, don't do that." Being whiny is not something Max expected himself to be but here he is, whining because of George. "This is horrible."
George is laughing a little, looking at Max through his long, curly eyelashes. "I don't mind at all being your distraction."
With a power he didn't really know he has, Max pulled George from beside him and sit him on his lap. There's a gasp from George, clearly surprised by Max manhandled him but he is all smile, clearly didn't mind at all.
"This okay?" Max asked gently. He hold George by his waist and oh just holding his waist is enough to make Max feel giddy. He almost jump out of excitement seeing George nodding to his question. "You look so pretty sitting on my lap like this, Princess." He whispered, taking every inch of George expression to be kept forever to his memories.
George didn't reply as he cupped both Max cheeks on his hands carefully. He looked at Max eyes, looking at how the shorter man looking at him with so much love, he felt like melted. Max's hands moving down to his hips and draw a circle there.
"What's on your mind, schatje?" Max looking at George fondly. Like George hangs the moon, the stars and the sun for him.
George does, in his opinion.
"You. And me." George started. "When we first met, I thought you looked so small and cute and all I wanted to do was to protect you from all the bullies. And also your dad. I wanted to make you happy and wanted to keep you safe." He stopped mid way while caressing Max cheeks to look at Max eyes deeply. "Turned out I didn't really do a good job."
"You made me the happiest kid, schat." Max told George softly. "Don't ever blame yourself. I was so grateful to have you in my life back then and now. You are the one who keep me alive all these years. Without you, there will be no Max Verstappen today." He is looking at George deeply, so full of love, it makes George feel warmth in his stomach. "Thank you, schatje." Max pulled George closer to hug him. He put his face on George stomach. He feel happy, warm, safe and he is thinking about kissing George stomach. He wish the taller man would let him bite.
Max wants a taste. But Max is a patient man. He can wait to ask George later.
"Can I kiss you again?" George asked warmly and Max looked up. All sparkles and pretty line of long eyelashes looking at Max. His hands is back caressing Max cheeks like it's the only important thing in the world right now.
"Schatje, you can kiss me as much as you like. It's always been your right from the start."
"Yeah?" George laughed happily. "I love you too, Max and I'm sorry it took me so long to say this to you." There are tears brimming in the corner of his eyes but Max happily kiss it away for him.
***