Chapter Text
Infinite by lyn Lapid
“If I wanna believe like my life is mine”
Annabeth
An idea that seems to appeal to many people is the thought of working hard until success, and then stopping. Annabeth couldn't help but wonder what their meaning of success was; was it happiness, money, title, power, love, or possession? A feeling of belonging? For Annabeth personally, it was all of those. She wanted all of those and more, and above all she wanted to feel satisfied, which proved a bit hard in her life.
Even from a young age she wanted to be better. Better than someone specific? No, she just wanted to be better. She'd redo the same crayon drawing 12 times, tracing first with pencil, then going over it with a colored pencil that precisely matched the color of the crayon, and then she would color in with the crayon. And she better have the best drawing in the class, even if no one told her it was or she didn't get an award. She just had to know that she did better- she did her best.
So when it's senior year, and it's the second semester, after all the applications were done but most results hadn't come out yet, Annabeth was fully expecting everyone around her to completely give up and for her to still stay focused. Because she liked studying and learning, especially if it was confusing, and if she was good at it. What she didn't expect was feeling a sense of exhaustion, confusion, and even loss. Annabeth got burnt out easily, but as soon as it would happen, it would be gone. Her motivation was quick to come back in a new form but the same goal. So when she got to school on Thursday, the only thing she was thinking about was what she felt so sad about. She felt loss for some reason, and she wondered why, it's not like she would stop studying in college. Nothing is changing between high school and college…except living alone and being seperated from friends. Annabeth stopped walking as her face turned into one of realization; of course, that was it.
See, she wasn't rude. She wasn't cold or shy either. She was actually known to be confident, daring, smart, hard-working, loving and trusting. She would be nice, but she wouldn't try to initiate for no reason, and sometimes she preferred her bubble. She was only rude to the people who deserved it, and to her close friends she was their sister or pillar. Of course people looked at her as egoistic sometimes, but jealous people say and do jealous things. So, Annabeth made friends slowly, but it wasn't difficult.
She started her first day of school in 6th grade with her best friend, Thalia, who was supposed to be in the grade above her, but because of the birthday cut off she ended up with Annabeth, making her one of the oldest in the whole grade. Thalia was good at making friends or at least did it naturally, so she had other friends, but at young ages especially, Annabeth wasn't inclined to meet them. She told herself she was satisfied with just Thalia, but later on Annabeth realized that stemmed from a fear.
Thalia stayed her best friend and only friend for 2 more years, but she had started to split her time between Annabeth and her other friends. And then, when Annabeth refused to meet them, it wasn't fear, it was jealousy, anger. She decided staying away was better.
Then came high school, which made it much harder to avoid them. Suddenly, lunches were packed, and all of Thalia’s other friends were in the same school as Annabeth and Thalia were in. By now, Annabeth had matured a little more. She realized she needed friends, and while she had the best one ever, she wasn't being a really good one.
So on the first day of lunch, Annabeth and Thalia sat down at a lunch table that had all of Thalia's other friends at it. She was scared. After all, Thalia knew these people from 2-3 years ago. But Thalia stayed by her side even as she talked to others. And Annabeth turned out being wrong, in only 5 days of lunch, she felt completely included in the group, clued in on inside jokes, learning the behaviors of all of them, feeling comfortable enough to chide one of them, and at some point, around 3 months later, she even started talking about her family and her academics with them. Eventually, they mentioned another guy who always hung out with them, but went to a different high school for an accelerated swimming program. Percy.
Percy Jackson….
When Annabeth heard the name she raised an eyebrow. Mostly she was confused as to why everyone thought such great things about him, and the fact that Thalia was staring into the depths of her soul, observing her reaction, was also unnerving. Then she heard about Percy. How he was extremely talented and almost one with the water, how he had black loose hair and a little bit of a tan. About how for a 9th grader, he was good looking - Leo kept a photo of him in his wallet, apparently to brag that one of his friends looked “godly”, but didn't let her see it. Friendly to everyone, and was literally the definition of sunshine sometimes. Annabeth found this a little funny to imagine, since one of her friends in the group was slightly the opposite of Percy’s description. But even he seemed to praise Percy in a few things, albeit subtly. But when Thalia of all people started talking about Percy like he was one of the best guys she’d met so far, Annabeth had to meet him. No guy could be this amazing, there had to be a weak point, some malfunction, something missing and something to not trust. She just had to meet him. But she didn't know how.
They continued to talk about him as they continued to hang out and meet up with him outside of school, when Annabeth was studying or volunteering or working on her non profit or tutoring (everyone else only started really studying and working hard sometime during freshman year, but Annabeth had been working since 6th grade). So, for a year, she only heard about him. But then finals for freshman year in high school, that was the long awaited moment.
Annabeth's parents weren't the best, the emotional support part specifically, since their main focus was their work and her brothers, and as long as she was doing good in school, they didn't really care. Annabeth could think forever and ever about how that had affected her growing up, but she didn't turn out as fucked up as she predicted, so it wasn't worth thinking back to right now.
During finals time, they all decided on meeting up and having a huge study session, lots of flash cards, quizlets, practice tests, snacks, gossip…the usual.
And the day that it was happening, at lunch one of her friends said “Percy confirmed! He’s finally coming.”
Annabeth thought it was stupid that her heart seemed to trip.
The study session was hosted at Piper's house, since her dad was rich and they had a huge media room where all of them could sprawl out while studying. Annabeth got there first - she knew she was first because there were no shoes, no cars, no noise, no texts either, nothing disruptive except a voice inside. The voice sounded male but too young to be Piper’s dad..but she tried not to think too much about it as she cautiously knocked on the door. Annabeth had not worked too hard on her appearance since this was a study session, but she did remember that bit of information she got at lunch, so maybe she put her hair half up half down, knowing this was a somewhat convenient hairstyle but also showed off her soft natural curls (Piper’s past advice). Dressed in a simple blue shirt and black cargo pants, the guy who opened the door stared at her for 3 seconds before he smiled. He opened his mouth to say something but Annabeth blurted something out first.
“You have blue frosting in your hair.” And she couldn't help but ask herself, Now why would you say that first? The guy looked confused but then an embarrassed smile grew on his face as he reached around his hair to get it.
“Thanks I think.” His voice wasn't deep but it wasn't in the middle school era either. “I-I’m Percy” he said, starting a little unconfident but smiling by the end, and he looked like all of the sunshine and friendliness she heard about.
“I know..I’m Annabeth”
“I know” he said smiling again, and this time she felt her face warm a little, because she was smiling now too, for no apparent reason.
She later discovered that Percy had one day each week where he would come straight to Piper’s house after school and Annabeth was about to ask why, when she explained “it's mostly me training him for his flexibility. Swimmers need to be agile or graceful too.” Piper did ballet very seriously so she was extremely flexible. She also discovered that all the others had a special personality trait of Percy's that complimented theirs.
Her friend group was big- and very different.
There was Annabeth who was their organizer, smart, protective friend who managed them sometimes. She had respect from all of them for being so ridiculously smart and daring.
Thalia, who was the uncontrolled, reckless, and big sister to all of them. Annabeth's best friend even within her very close friend group.
Piper, who looked like she would never hurt anyone and hated attention from a crowd, but she was actually smarter than she let on and could command respect easily when she needed to. She was underestimated which gave her the advantage to surprise and impress, she was always the one who listened to Annabeth and encouraged her to talk more, and they had an unspeakable understanding of each other in many ways. Piper had that trait about her, where she could just understand situations and people immediately. She also loved love and was dating Jason in the group. That was one of the topics that led her and Annabeth being good friends, when Jason and her were having trouble making time for each other and Annabeth had advised her. And Piper never failed to look out for ‘prospects’ for her.
Jason was your typical high schooler, blonde hair, tall, looked like he would play a sport, or maybe even an F-boy. But in reality, quite different. He liked studying sometimes too. Not all the time like Annabeth, but they got along well because of their commitment to doing well, problem solving instincts and the fact that they were on the same wavelength a lot of the time. A lot of the times, Annabeth would be the one coming up with plans, solutions, or helping with homework, and while Jason had a natural aura of being a leader, he also knew in certain topics Annabeth was meant to lead it, and he was kind of like her sidekick for that. He had actually called himself her sidekick one day when they were all cramming for midterms and their whole week of lunch was spent going around and helping people. They had a running joke that when one of the others does something especially stupid, they'd look at each other and comment on it at the same time. It made everyone else so mad that it stayed for all four years of high school.
Hazel was the one of the youngest out of them. She was a bit more ‘pure’ than a few of them, and was known for her shyness around the school. But Hazel was another girl who looked like she would never hurt a fly, but after an incident that school year in March, many knew that she would be mean if she had to. Hazel and Annabeth didn't start off as close because there wasn't much for them to relate to each other about, but in time they bonded over the fact that they both loved music and even went to a concert together. In fact, after the event in March, Annabeth realized her and Hazel also hadHazel and Annabeth, now, were very comfortable with each other, and had an unspeakable agreement to back the other person up in an argument. It was a truce. Annabeth secretly thought of Hazel as a younger sister even though Hazel had actually started that incident at school to defend Annabeth. Annabeth, fulfilling her role of older sister, loved teasing Hazel about her and Frank, who were adorable cute- they started off awkward and new, but very quickly merged into comfort and security.
Nico was the one who seemed like he was depressed from the outside . When Percy was described to her, Nico was the one she thought would be the most different from him. He was smart and he knew how being an underdog gave him an advantage, he also looked extremely mean and …okay a little bit emo (apparently it wasn't a phase since he “wasn't emo in the first place. He just likes black more than other colors”) .. but all his friends knew, he was just putting on a face and he was actually sweet, but tried to act like he wasn’t. Nico was actually Hazel’s stepsister, but they were extremely close. Nicos biological sister, Bianca, passed away when they were in 8th grade, and one of the reasons why Nico praised Percy and respected him so much, even enjoyed him as a friend, was because Bianca and Percy were very good friends, almost best friends, and also because Percy had always done well for her. Annabeth didn't fully know what that meant but she didn't ask for more as Nico had looked like he wouldn't say more. Though Nico had only good things to say about him, Nico always seemed to shrink into himself after a few moments in a conversation about Percy. Nico and Annabeth, while it didn't look like it, had similar senses in humor sometimes and Annabeth also thought of him as somewhat of a younger brother, even though he wasn't that younger. She had been there for him at hard times and vice versa, which led to a trust that they didn't expect between each other (that eventually formed between all the friends in the group), but now led them to be natural with each other.
Frank was someone who looked strong and confident, but most of the time he preferred to not be as loud. He could be a leader when he wanted to but a lot of the times he preferred following directions, but helping out, like a manager instead of the boss. Annabeth liked that trait of his, the fact that he could switch between roles and did both well. Hey, Annabeth was Annabeth. As much as she appreciated her friends, the first thing coming to her mind when describing how great they are, were their skills. Other than those, they all had their own unique things that Annabeth adored as well. For Frank it was the fact that he was gentle, sensitive to others, but also protected the people he cared about. He also wasn't afraid to ask for help, even when he was embarrassed about it, he would still ask. At one point when the group was fairly new, Frank had told her that despite her being the newest addition to the group he knew that she wouldn't judge and had asked her for help for something that he thought was embarrassing. Apparently Leo had teased him about it- back when Leo and Frank did NOT get along great- and Frank wanted Annabeth to teach him how to take his fingers out of the Chinese finger trap. Frank had also told Annabeth that he liked Hazel before he told anyone, proving that he trusted her a lot.
Leo was someone who was extremely similar to Percy at times and at others, extremely different. It was almost like Leo had different parts of himself, but over the years they had come to know all of them and encouraged him to be comfortable with himself too. Leo was reckless and sarcastic, cracking jokes and also very similar to Thalia because of that. He would be an instant boost of serotonin without even intending it. That's why when Leo was down, it was apparent. That's how Annabeth and Leo got close. One, because they both liked architecture and were taking somewhat similar interests in college and after, and two because she knew exactly how to approach him when something was wrong. Annabeth knew that Leo looked up to her, and well, she looked up to him too. Respect was something important to her and further than that they both appreciated each other.
Matter of fact, everyone in the group appreciated each other, for the same and different reasons.
And Percy, well. He had Thalia’s recklessness and bluntness, which explained their bond, Leo’s humor and sarcasm, Piper’s understanding and, Frank’s ability to trust people easily but also hold ground, Jason's aura of leadership, Hazel’s natural kindness but also her power, and Nico’s hidden generosity (when he didn't want others to notice an act of kindness). Percy even had some of her good qualities, which was hard-working, even though it was only on topics that really mattered to him and had a reason, like swimming. But the biggest quality that Percy had that stood out the most as the most distinct and strongest was his loyalty.
Of course, Annabrth would only find out this much about him later, when he transferred to the high school that their group went to in sophomore year.
And all three years of high school, they never had a class together. Every time they tried doing something out of school, either Annabeth was studying or doing something for her resume, or Percy was swimming. Annabeth was pretty sure that a total of 7 times they had both been there when their friend group hung out. Annabeth couldn't keep count on how many times she had cursed the gods for her bad luck. But they had lunch together, all three years after that, for which she thanked them for her good luck. And while this didn't lead to them being the most amazing best friends, they both were good friends now, got along pretty well, and seemed to enjoy each other's company. First step. They weren't the best of friends, there were still things about Percy that she definitely didn't know that others in the group did and they hadn't built a strong bond yet, but whenever they did talk to each other, Annabeth immediately got a sense of comfort and a happy feeling…they had a mutual understanding of each other, respect, and close enough to tease each other as well. She had a feeling that if they ever had time to really spend time together they would become the closest of friends, and not just because she found him very interesting.
But that was her whole predicament. Annabeth’s problem started exactly there.
High school was so many twists and turns, rumors and drama, hard work and giving up, succeeding and failing, crying and laughing, hating school and loving school, fighting and making up, and so many more experiences she didn't think she would make in just four years of school. And she had this amazing friend group with her to support her and go along with her on the journey, so that's why they all had such strong bonds, even her and Percy. Yes, high school was only four years of life, but making those important memories with people you love never truly leaves you, for good or for worse.
So, where does all of that go now? Yes they all had applied to similar schools, which only a few of them were planned for. But did that mean they would all go to the same school?
Most of them had amazing resumes, Annabeth had made sure of that. She was confident enough in her ability to make it into the college she wanted to also help her friends reach high. The people who had stellar grades, good volunteering, and even something extra, like a passion project, had those things to beef their resume up, like Annabeth, Jason, Nico, and Hazel (despite what everyone thought). Others had job experience or internships which they could relate to the real world and got good positions and salary on top of good grades as well, like Piper, Frank and Leo.
Thalia and Percy were special cases, their grades might not have been good, but Thalia was so passionate about astrophysics and her wanted major that not only did she have a passion project, it became a nonprofit, and very well known. She had even appeared on the local news at one point. And Percy was so talented at swimming that he was bound to get a scholarship full ride, which he had actually tried for.
The hard work they'd all put to get here was unknown to so many people, that it felt unfair when people reminded her that it's “just high school.” It sure didn't feel like just high school when teenagers were working as hard as adults to get job experiences…
So all of them were in one way or another, qualified for the school that they all wanted. It was far away, and a whole different climate, but they all worked so hard and it was their dream now. Berkeley. California, and the beach, and their prestigious academic facilities and the amazing programs they had, including swimming.
So that's why Annabeth was so..lost.
She still had 2 and a half months of school left but she was just waiting and waiting for that day. She knew it was the end of March when decisions came out for Berkley, that's what the trend had been…and it was March 17th.
So anxiousness was mostly what she was feeling all day. Everyday. But she was comforted when she noticed a lot of the others were as well. Annabeth and some others in the group had already gotten into a few colleges. Annabeth had also gotten into NSU, NYU, and Columbia. But she was waiting for her dream college. And she knew she would get it. She worked too hard for too long to not….Right?