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It starts because of Aaron, like all Andrew's problems recently. And that's what Neil Josten is: a problem.
A problem with messy red hair that glows like flame under direct sunlight and soft freckles hiding under scars, and glacier blue eyes, who smiles when Andrew walks in rooms…
But anyway. Aaron. It's his fault. He was the one who enrolled in the stupid gen-ed Intro to Mathematics class, and the one who accidentally scheduled it so it overlapped with his Biomed lab every second week, and the one who begged Andrew to go in his place because the guidance counselor scared him. Pussy.
But he’s Andrew's stupid fucking brother, and Andrew had technically promised to look out for him, and he didn't have anything else on at – groan – 9:30 AM every second Tuesday.
So Andrew finds himself in stupid fucking Intro to Mathematics. At 9:30 AM. Fuck.
The class itself is fine. Andrew doesn't really need to learn any of this shit, he just needs to show up, because attendance counts towards the grade, take notes, and collect the homework for Aaron to muddle through later. But Andrew has always been decent at math, even though he doesn't actually understand how any of it works, because he can memorise formulas easily.
The only interesting thing in Intro to Mathematics is Neil Josten. Who is a problem.
The first time Andrew attends the class, Neil is sitting on the other side of the lecture hall. He gives Andrew a dismissive look, but then furrows his brows like he’s confused. Andrew catches Neil giving him considering looks for the rest of class, which is – kill me now – an hour and a half. They aren't quite interested looks, which Andrew would recognise, but he is looking. Confused at first, then assessing, then almost amused, like Andrew's presence is funny.
Andrew almost thinks he's onto them, but his disguise is excellent: he is literally wearing Aaron's DNA. And his clothes, naturally, but the first bit does a lot of heavy lifting.
Still, there's worse things in the world than having a pretty boy look at you, so Andrew is mostly just content to look back.
The second time Andrew attends the class, Neil comes over and sits next to him. They don't talk, but Neil gives him a single conspiring grin when class ends, like they're in on a joke, which makes Andrew's ears pink.
It takes two more classes, which is the better part of a month, before Andrew succumbs and asks Aaron about it.
“Who's your friend?” he says finally.
“What?” responds Aaron suspiciously.
“In math.”
Aaron squints at Andrew, annoyed. “I don't have any friends in math?”
Andrew returns Aaron's annoyed expression with one of his own. “Neil.”
“Neil Josten?”
“Sure.”
“I’m not friends with that asshole! Why the fuck would you think that?”
Oh?
Hm. Well that's interesting. Andrew walks away from Aaron dismissively, and ignores his irritated scoff behind him.
The next time Andrew has to go to fuckass Intro to Mathematics, he says to Neil, “Why didn't you sit with me last time.”
It would be an embarrassing question, except what he's really saying is, I’m on to you motherfucker.
Neil looks bemused. “Yes I did?” he says, raising one eyebrow. He has good eyebrows, not too heavy, almost delicate, but not pale either, his brown hair dark. Andrew's eyebrows are liable to practically vanish in certain lighting, which can limit his range of judgmental expressions. Neil probably doesn't have that problem.
Anyway.
“You didn't sit with me last week,” Andrew tells him.
“You weren't here last week,” Neil responds immediately.
“Yes I was,” Andrew says leadingly. Neil gets that conspiratory little smile again, impish.
“My bad,” he says. His tone makes it abundantly clear that he's talking out of his ass, and that he’s doing it for Andrew’s benefit. “The truth is that you were a dick last week, so I didn't sit with you. You’ll probably be a dick again next week, but we can sit together the week after that. Does that work for you?”
Andrew squints at him, and realises that, for the first time since Andrew has become part of a matched set, he’s found someone who can tell them apart. He thinks about Neil's assessing looks from that first class, and thinks that maybe Neil has always been able to tell them apart.
“Fine,” he responds after a long pause, his ears pink, and Neil smiles at him for real.
It's the first time Andrew ever sees the expression, and it makes his breathing stutter for a fraction of a second. His eyes pinch. There's a little gap between his front teeth. His scars pull at the surrounding skin. He has dimples. Fuck. He’s so completely fucked.
☆
“Do you do homework for this class?” Neil asks inanely at the end of a lecture.
Andrew looks at him dryly. “We get homework every week,” he says in the tone one might use on a toddler.
Neil rolls his eyes, but there's no real irritation in it. “Sure, I was just wondering if you were the one to do it.”
“Why?”
“I was gonna ask if you wanted to work together, since this week we have to do group work. But I’ll find someone else if I can't work with you.”
Andrew takes thirty seconds to berate himself for his own weakness, before he agrees. They finish it that afternoon, sitting on the concrete outside the math building. Andrew smokes, and Neil bums one of his cigarettes but never takes a drag.
☆
The first time Andrew sees Neil outside of class, it’s because of that dickhead on the PSU football team, Landon Pierce, who apparently got drunk with his buddies, broke into the athletes’ cafeteria in the middle of the night, and completely trashed the place. It's closed for a week for repairs, and all the athletes have to go to the regular cafeteria like peasants.
On Thursdays, Andrew unfortunately has the same lunch hour as most of the other Foxes. This wouldn't be an issue, except he has the same lunch hour as Kevin, who he is contractually obligated to shadow, and Kevin likes to spend it bothering Dan about practice schedules. Dan sits at a table, which means Matt and Allison will join her, so Seth will too. Then Kevin sits down to bother Dan, and Andrew sits down to babysit Kevin, so Nicky and Aaron are there in solidarity, and Jack, the new freshman striker, joins them even though nobody fucking likes him. Renee, the only person Andrew would actually be willing to eat lunch with, doesn't have class on Thursday.
Absolutely no one is happy with the situation, except for Kevin who has little regard for the other Foxes outside exy, so it happens every Thursday without fail, including the one they spend in the non-athletes cafeteria.
It's more crowded than the athletes’ cafeteria, which makes it more embarrassing that Andrew immediately zeroes in on Neil Josten, sitting alone and scribbling absentmindedly on his homework. The light is catching on his hair flatteringly, and sometimes he chews on his pencil. Andrew doesn't feel any particular way about that, though. Obviously.
Apparently he isn't the only fox looking at Neil, because Jack peels off from their table to go stand over him.
Jack is an odd presence on the team. Last year, they were pretty cleanly split between the upperclassmen and Andrew's lot. They still are, of course, except for Jack, who absolutely no one cares for. He gets along well enough with Seth, because they're both assholes, but only when he and Seth aren't being assholes to each other, so they're about as on again/off again as Seth and Allison are. He has a huge exy boner for Kevin, and does whatever Kevin says, but Kevin hates the little pissant and doesn't waste much time on him. He’s misogynistic to the girls, homophobic to Nicky, and also annoying as fuck, so he is shunned on and off the court.
All of this to say: nobody actually notices when Jack leaves the table. Andrew only does because he was already looking at Neil. For no particular reason.
“Oi, freak,” Jack starts, loudly. Neil doesn't look up and most of the Foxes don’t notice, too busy booing Kevin for suggesting longer practice hours again.
They take note when Jack slams his hand loudly on Neil's table. Neil looks up from his homework boredly, raises his eyebrow.
“Are you talking to me?”
“Do you see any other freaks around?” Jack says back mockingly.
Neil flicks his eyes over the Foxes lazily, which is fair considering their reputation, then looks Jack up and down blatantly. His lips quirk up slightly. “My bad.”
Jack snarls down at him, and does his best to loom imposingly. Jack is tall, almost 6”. Neil is barely 5”3’, and sitting down. Still, Neil looks like the one in charge, leaning back lazily, shoulders loose. He motions mockingly for Jack to continue.
“Whatcha reading, Scarface?”
Neil snorts. “Listen, man, I get what you're doing,” he starts. His voice carries, even though he's not talking loud. He's got a good voice, just the slightest bit raspy at the edges. “You're the smallest dog on the – what? Soccer team?”
He looks back at the Foxes. This time, his eyes linger for a second on Andrew.
Kevin scowls, no doubt insulted by the insinuation that he would play any sport not invented by his mommy. “Exy.”
“Sure,” Neil says dismissively. “Smallest dog on the exy team, so you wanna look big and tough by picking on someone smaller than you. Can I give you some advice…” he trails off expectantly.
“Jack,” Jack supplies automatically, before snarling.
“Yeah, look: this,” Neil gestures between them, “doesn't actually work when the target you pick is tougher than you. Better luck next time.”
“You think you’re fucking tougher than me, pussy?”
Again, Neil looks Jack up and down. Again, he clearly finds him wanting. “By orders of magnitude.”
Jack scoffs and leans down towards Neil threateningly. Neil doesn't react at all, except to look slightly bemused.
Andrew has a hand on his knife, but doesn't stand yet.
“Listen, bitch-” Jack starts.
Neil rolls his eyes. “Man, you look like you went to ‘regular checkups’ at the doctor's office every year, and my dad was an axe murderer in the mob. We are not on the same level.”
Jack stalls, clearly not expecting that. Andrew also stalls, though less people are watching him do it. That… is new information.
Neil arches his eyebrows at Jack. “Is that not what this is about? I mean, it was written in the paper. And on my face.” His face screws up, mock sympathetic, and he asks, “You can't read?”
Jack opens his mouth again, and Neil tells him exasperatedly, “You know how this whole interaction has been a total embarrassing failure on your part? It's not going to get better, just cut your losses and go.”
“You think you're better than me?”
“Yeah, I mean. I've been for real tortured,” Neil gestures at his scarred face, “And you look like you chickened out of watching cheesy BDSM porn in your parents’ basement. So…..”
“You don't know shit about me,” Jack spits, looking really mad now.
Neil laughs at him. “Aw, did your dad beat you or something?” Neil must see from his face that he hit the nail on the head, because he continues, “He need to hit someone smaller than him to feel like a real man?” Neil leans forward tauntingly. “Do you feel like a real man, Jack?”
Jack rears back like Neil struck him, before he marches, fuming, out of the cafeteria. Neil laughs at him again.
Andrew is mostly just enjoying the show, until Kevin says, “Oh God…”
Andrew drags his eyes away from Neil to check on Kevin, whose face is pale. He's staring at Neil like he's seen a ghost.
God fucking damnit.
☆
“Nathaniel Wesninski,” Andrew drawls when he sits down at Neil's otherwise empty table at the library.
Neil looks up sharply, and his voice is cold when he replies, “My name is Neil Josten.”
“Since when?” Andrew retorts mockingly.
“March.”
Andrew looks at him consideringly for a second, then nods.
Kevin had been distraught when he recognised the boy, insistent that the Moriyamas had sent him to kill Kevin. He’d been three sheets and a couple blankets to the wind before he finally explained, telling Andrew about the Butcher of Baltimore and his son. Apparently, Nathaniel was given to the main family as a child. Kevin only met him once, and it involved a man being dismembered at Evermore stadium.
Andrew hadn't been so sure about it, had tracked down the articles about the Butcher's trial. It was back in March. Nathaniel had testified, about his father's crimes, his abuse, about going on the run with his mother eight years ago. He thought it was more likely that Kevin didn't know what was going on with some kid who he met once than the feds being tricked by an eighteen year old they were actively investigating.
“Which Minyard are you?”
The question breaks him out of his assessment. “I thought you could tell us apart,” he says mockingly.
Neil shrugs, “I can, I just don't know your names. You both go by Aaron in class, and you're both there so often I’m not sure which one of you is actually enrolled.”
“Andrew Minyard.”
“Since when,” Neil replies sardonically.
“2002.”
Neil’s eyebrows raise. He looks intrigued.
“I changed it to Minyard when I moved in with Aaron's family.”
Andrew has learned truths about Neil, it's only fair to reciprocate.
“Let me guess, your parents had a messy divorce then both took one twin and you had no idea the other existed until they accidentally sent you to the same summer camp, and you're both played by Lindsey Lohan.”
“Foster care.”
“Yeah, that makes more sense,” Neil replies dryly. “You got separated in the system?”
There's no pity in his expression, no discomfort, so Andrew continues. He shakes his head, and says, “I was in the system. Aaron was with our mother.”
“Huh,” Neil says lightly. “She hit him or something? He doesn't act like someone who had a stable childhood.”
“Sure, until she died in a car crash.”
Neil looks at Andrew for a long second, before his lips draw up in a smile. It's a sharp, vicious expression, and it makes Andrew's ears pink. “You fuck with her car?” he asks knowingly.
“I pulled the wheel.”
Neil blinks, and his smile drops. “Shit, Andrew, you could’ve died,” he says worriedly. His glacier blue eyes scan Andrew, like he's looking for injuries from something that happened four years ago.
Andrew pointedly doesn't reply, yeah that was the idea.
They are quiet for a minute, but it's comfortable. Eventually, Neil goes back to studying, content that their conversation is done. Andrew watches him for a bit, then decides officially that he’s no threat to Kevin, and watches him a little longer.
He says nothing when he leaves, and ignores that Neil waves at him behind his back.
☆
Somehow, that breaks the dam between them. The next time they have class together, Andrew wordlessly follows Neil when he leaves. They end up back at the library, and Andrew pulls out his own homework. Neil asks what classes Andrew is actually enrolled in, and not just taking for Aaron. Andrew tells him he's a Criminology major, and Neil doesn't look surprised like people usually do. Neil, it turns out, is a Mathematical Sciences major, which is almost scarier than the mob thing.
The next time, Neil brings Andrew coffee. He gets it plain but brings two sugar packets, in case Andrew likes sugar in his coffee. Andrew does like sugar in his coffee, and empties both packets into the cup. He still wrinkles his nose at the bitter taste, but drinks it all anyway. Because it's free. No other reason. Neil laughs at him, and asks what Andrew's actual coffee order is, then looks aghast when Andrew tells him. Aren't you an athlete? he says, but the next time they see each other Neil brings him his exact coffee order.
Andrew finally demands Neil’s number, and Neil blinks like he forgot that was a thing that exists and admits that he doesn't have a phone. Andrew drags him off and makes him buy a phone, a flip phone the same model as his own, then snatches it from him to program his number in. Neil smiles at him indulgently while he does it, so Andrew ignores him and his own pink ears.
After that, they begin meeting up outside of just Tuesday mornings. They break on to the roof of Neil's dorm building to smoke. They go on long drives at night. They get lunch together, or dinner, and they take turns buying each other coffee. Neil tells him about life on the run, and Andrew tells him about juvie. Andrew texts him a lot at first, mostly to train Neil out of flinching every time his phone makes a sound, and then they get into a routine of texting each other throughout their days. Neil sends Andrew pictures of cats he sees. Andrew sends Neil blurry out of focus pictures of whatever he’s doing when Neil's picture comes through. They both text long complaints about people who annoy them. Andrew complains mostly about exy, while Neil apparently has some long one sided feud with a seventeen year old in one of his math classes who's rude to their TA, who Neil likes. Neil doesn't know this child’s name, but has texted Andrew multiple times about wanting to drop an anvil on his head.
Before Andrew knows it, they're hanging out multiple times a week, basically whenever Andrew's not with Kevin, and by the end of October Neil is functionally his best friend.
He doesn't tell Neil about his birthday, but Neil must find out somehow – Andrew is pretty sure Neil briefly pickpocketed him once, and checked his ID – because on November fourth Neil brings Andrew a brownie along with his coffee. He doesn't say anything about it though, so Andrew accepts it, and they ignore their homework to debate the best route of survival in a post-nuclear winter.
It's just that Neil is easy. He's easy to want to know more about. He's easy to be quiet with. He's easy to talk to. Andrew tells him one time not to touch him, and Neil never does it again. He's not nonjudgmental – in fact, he's incredibly judgmental, which makes him easy to talk shit with – but he accepts everything Andrew tells him without blinking. And he's easy to look at.
Even when Neil is difficult, Andrew doesn't mind. It doesn't bother him when Neil calls him after he has a nightmare, or when Neil had a panic attack because the barista recognised him and remembered his order, or when he sometimes goes mute for a couple days. He's not even that angry when Neil drops off the face of the planet for a couple days, then pops up to sheepishly admit that he ran halfway to Georgia before he realised he missed PSU and came back.
Everything in Andrew's life is so fucking difficult all the time. Aaron and his little cheerleader are difficult, Kevin and his ravens are difficult, Nicky and his hugs and his insistence that Andrew get a girlfriend are difficult, the fucking Foxes are so fucking difficult.
But Neil is easy, for Andrew, even when he's not, and Andrew doesn't know what to do with it.
☆
Thanksgiving is difficult.
☆
Andrew doesn't go back to campus, before Betsy sends him to Easthaven for a month because she's worried he’ll kill himself. Neil stayed on campus over break, he knows because the cat photos continued, and because Neil straight up told him.
Andrew doesn't see him, but he does call, after the hospital but before Easthaven. He's on the back porch of the Columbia house, chain smoking, and he numbly tells Neil that he's being committed. Neil's first reaction, obviously, is to offer to break him out. Andrew scoffs, because his hands haven't stopped shaking. The pigs took his knives, and Andrew can't help but be a little glad for it. So Neil says, Alright, see you soon then, and listens to Andrew smoking over the line until Andrew hangs up.
☆
Easthaven is difficult.
☆
The first thing Andrew does when he gets out is look Kevin over for injuries, but apparently Matt, who is still grateful for Andrew helping him get clean even if he hates Andrew as a person, stuck around over break to keep an eye on things.
Fuck, Andrew's going to have to thank him. Ugh.
The second thing he does is smoke a cigarette, because it's been a month and the cravings are killing him. Then he dumps all of his clothes, the ones Proust has seen him in, will remember him in, directly in the first bin he sees.
Then, when he feels a little more stable and a little more clean, he calls Neil again.
“I’m on my way back,” he says without preamble.
“Ok, I’ll see you when you get here,” Neil responds immediately. It's quiet for a minute, before he admits, “I missed you.”
“Fuck off,” Andrew responds, and hears Neil chuckle over the line. Then he says, “Yeah,” which is as close to I missed you too, I thought about calling you from the Easthaven phone but you are so good that I didn't want even just your voice to touch this place, too good for me, I thought about you everyday as he’ll probably ever get. He hangs up without saying goodbye.
He does see Neil when he gets back, and Neil brings him coffee and a brownie and a pack of cigarettes. They go up to the roof of Neil's dorm, and Neil tells him about renting a little apartment off campus to stay in over break, since the dorms were closed, which was such a nightmare to find that he's thinking of using the last of his stolen cash to buy it outright if only to never have to do that again. He also seems to have been keeping an eye out for Andrew's lot, who stayed with Abby, around town, because he gives Andrew the run down of what they were up to. Aaron and his cheerleader have apparently made things official in Andrew's absence. Nicky seems to have made friends with the upperclassmen through Matt, and even Seth is apparently tolerating him at Allison's behest. Kevin has been haunting the foxhole court, spending most of his time there practicing.
Andrew wonders if Kevin is going to anxiously tell him that Nathaniel Wesninski was stalking him while he was gone later.
They fall back into their routine mind-bogglingly fast. This semester, Aaron is more careful picking his schedule, so Andrew never has to fill in for him and he doesn't have any classes with Neil. But they text near constantly, and eat together, and Neil does end up buying that apartment so they spend a lot of time hanging out off campus, fixing the place up. Neil would sleep on a towel on the ground and use a milk crate as a table if left to his own devices, so Andrew drags him through home goods stores until he has sufficient furniture, bedding and kitchenware. Neil asks for his input often, and ignores Andrew when he reminds him that he doesn't actually live there, so the end result is a torturous mix of their tastes that makes Andrew's daydreams horrifically domestic.
A few weeks after Andrew gets out, Neil numbly admits that he is nineteen today. The feds had reverted his birthday to that on his birth certificate, even when they changed his name. Andrew just nods, and presses against his shoulder solidly because he knows the pressure grounds Neil, on bad days, and he doesn't mind touch so much from Neil, who he knows will not touch back without express permission. Andrew pays for their dinner, even though they usually split it, and neither of them says anything about it.
It shocks Andrew how much it doesn't shock him, that things are still good with Neil, especially because they are so bad, everywhere else. Things are worse with Aaron, who is more resistant to just doing what he fucking promised than ever. Things are worse with Kevin, who is more paranoid, which makes him clingier, but also guilty because he thinks that Riko was involved with Drake, which makes him push Andrew away. Nicky is guilty too, as the one who convinced him to go to Thanksgiving at the Hemmicks’, and liable to cry about it, which Andrew can't handle. Things are bad with the team, because Jack and Seth have both already been punched for making unsavoury jokes and probably will be again. And things are so much worse around campus, because apparently the story was in the news and now everybody knows, and looks at him, and knows.
But Neil is like a bubble of air while Andrew is living at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, a respite from crushing pressure and darkness, making it so Andrew can breathe, just for a bit.
☆
At the end of January, Andrew tells Neil, “Your hair is atrocious.”
It's true. Neil's hair has been growing out red at the roots for months, and now it’s getting long, almost at Neil's jaw. The line between the brown and the red is ugly, about halfway down the hair, and the dyed bits are dead and crunchy. Neil still looks good, because he has a pretty face and mouthwatering thighs, but his hair is a mess.
“I don't trust anyone with a blade close to my face, and I haven't been bothered to do anything with it,” Neil responds simply.
Andrew wrinkles his nose, and tugs on a strand of it.
“You could cut it,” Neil offers.
“You just said you don't trust anyone,” Andrew tells him like he's stupid.
“You're not ‘anyone’,” Neil responds in the same tone.
They're smoking on the roof of Neil's apartment building, so they go downstairs and Neil digs out a pair of sharp scissors which are still in the packaging from when they stocked the house.
They stand in front of the bathroom mirror, but Neil faces Andrew instead of the mirror because he hates his reflection. First Andrew chops all the dyed hair off, which leaves him with a choppy bowl cut that Andrew considers leaving him with, as punishment for trusting Andrew, before he realises that he’d have to suffer the indignity of being attracted to a man with a bowl cut, and starts styling it.
He puts his hand on Neil's jaw to position his head, and Neil closes his eyes and leans in to it.
Fuck.
Anyway.
Andrew buzzes the sides and the back short, because he's noticed that Neil doesn't like having hair on his neck. The top is a bit longer, and curls naturally which hides that Andrew cuts it a bit uneven in places, falling in artful waves, which Andrew thinks is probably the Devil trying to tempt Andrew into sin.
He turns Neil around to look at himself in the mirror, and Neil flinches like he knew he would. Then Neil's eyes zero in on Andrew's hands in the mirror, which are still on his shoulders, and he relaxes.
God, Andrew hates him.
But Neil smiles at him in the mirror, the bright one with the tooth gap and the dimples, so Andrew hates himself instead, which is fine because he did that anyway.
☆
Look, here's the thing: Neil is not not interested.
Andrew knows that Neil is not not interested. He knows that Neil trusts him, and cares about him, and enjoys his company. He also saw how flushed Neil got the last time he wore a tank top, and he knows that if he flexes his shoulders even a little Neil's eyes will catch there like flies in a sticky trap.
The one time Neil went to a party, he got a little tipsy and called Andrew at 11:47PM to tell him he has pretty eyes. So.
And Andrew is aware enough to know that he is the exact opposite of not interested.
But, here's the thing: Neil is free. He spent his entire childhood mired in organised crime, in his father's house, on the run with his mother, in WitSec for his father's lengthy trial. And now he is free, and he can revel in being free by doing things like legally existing and studying math.
Andrew has a deal with Kevin that will continue to place him directly in Riko’s line of fire, and Riko has proven that he is not above underhanded tactics to get to him. If anything were to happen there, Andrew would be dragging Neil right back to the pit he just crawled out of.
So, nothing can happen.
☆
Neil asks to kiss him on the roof of his building on a Sunday night.
The sunset is doing good things for his red hair, and his tan skin, and his blue eyes, and…
Anyway.
They're sitting next to each other on the edge, Andrew's heart racing out of fear and another thing, and Andrew pressed their shoulders together fifteen minutes ago and still hasn't pulled back.
“No,” Andrew tells him, and fucking hates Riko Moriyama.
“Ok,” Neil says, and turns his face away to look at the sunset instead.
The quiet is loaded, but it's mostly on Andrew's end. He has never wanted to comfort someone after rejecting them before, so he doesn't know how. He leans more firmly into Neil's shoulder, and Neil smiles at him.
But now Andrew is imagining it, kissing Neil, kissing Neil who wants to be kissed, kissing Neil burnished red and gold by the setting sun, and his self control, usually so strong, is fraying.
“It wouldn't be fair,” Andrew says to him without turning to look.
“To you?”
“To you.”
Neil hums inquiringly, but he can't hide the hint of skepticism.
“I can’t tell you why.”
“Alright…” he says, doubtful.
“It’s… dangerous,” Andrew says reluctantly.
“What, you?”
Andrew nods, still not looking at him.
Neil laughs in his face.
Andrew scowls at the building across the street hotly. “There's more going on than you know.”
Neil is quietly judgmental at his side for a second, but doesn't say anything, so Andrew starts to relax.
Mistake.
“Ohhh, because of the yakuza?” Neil asks casually.
Andrew whips around to look at him incredulously. “How do you know about that.”
Neil blinks at him bemusedly. “You know I knew Kevin, right?”
“Not for long.”
Neil shrugs. “I know the Moriyamas used to own Kevin in some capacity, and I know he's here now. I figure you have some deal with Kevin…” he trails off leadingly.
“I promised to protect him from Riko,” Andrew agrees.
Neil stalls for a second. “Riko Moriyama?”
“Yes.”
“What, Ichirou’s little brother?”
“Yes.”
Neil laughs once, then schools his expression. “Sorry, sorry, I do get it. He's definitely dangerous, it's just, I thought you were going up against the Moriyamas. Ok, Riko Moriyama is after you. So you can't kiss me?”
“I won't drag you back into all this shit,” Andrew tells him frankly.
Neil smiles at him softly, affectionately, and Andrew feels more poleaxed than if Neil had kissed him.
“Okay,” Neil says softly, and settles back in at Andrew's side.
Andrew takes thirty seconds to want, and then he lights another cigarette and lets it drift away with the smoke.
☆
“Maybe a dumb question,” Neil starts about a week later. He's in the passenger seat of the GS, and they're driving aimlessly in the middle of the night.
“Hm,” Andrew replies, which means go on.
“Why don't we just kill him?” Neil says plainly.
“Riko?”
“Mhm.”
Andrew throws him an incredulous look. “Because of the yakuza,” he says slowly.
Neil scoffs. “Riko’s not really in the yakuza, he just belongs to them. It's different.”
“Fine,” Andrew says, because Neil probably does know more about the workings of organised crime, “But the people who are in the yakuza still won't be that happy with us killing him.”
“But if we could, you would be okay with it?”
“Yes.”
Neil nods. He hums consideringly, and furrows his brow. “You know Kengo just died?”
“Sure.”
“And Ichirou took over?”
Andrew gestures for Neil to get on with it.
“Well, word is that Ichirou’s clearing out the old ranks. It's a massive sweep, apparently, tying up a bunch of loose ends, taking out anyone not loyal to him. Riko's dangerous, and he’s a decent enough financial investment, but he's reckless, and he’s technically a threat to Ichirou's command. It might not be that hard to convince him that Riko needs to go.”
“And I guess we just call his secretary and book in a meeting?” Andrew asks derisively.
“I could,” Neil shrugs.
Andrew looks askance at him.
“Ichirou set the ball rolling to take my dad out, a couple years ago,” Neil starts, then says sharply, “Do not repeat this.”
Andrew nods.
“He knew Kengo’s health was failing, and that my dad would cause issues for him when he took over. So Ichirou sent people to the feds, to rat on him. The feds found me, but I wasn't going to testify. No point putting Nathan in jail if the Moriyamas killed me for it. Ichirou got in contact with me-”
“Directly?”
“Yeah, we knew each other as kids. My dad was Kengo's left hand man, and if it wasn't for mum I would’ve been Ichirou’s.”
Shit, no wonder he’d laughed at Riko. Neil grew up eating at the adults’ table.
“Anyway, he showed up, promised that there would be no retaliation if Nathan went to jail. Said he’d forgive my debt to him, if I testified.”
“You're on good terms, then?”
“Yeah, well. I’m not associated with them, obviously, but there's no bad blood with Ichirou's crew. And he's pretty reasonable. He's not going to kill Riko just because I ask, but Riko is really just a moneymaking front, so we could probably just offer to buy him out, essentially.”
Andrew blinks a couple times into oncoming headlights. Okay. So, maybe they can kill Riko Moriyama. And then… well.
“I’ll talk to Kevin,” Andrew tells him.
“Okay,” Neil responds, and smiles at him. Freckles, tooth gap, dimples.
Fuck, they need to kill Riko Moriyama.
☆
“What!?” Kevin exclaims.
“Neil Josten thinks we have a good chance of convincing Ichirou Moriyama to kill Riko,” Andrew repeats calmly.
“Wha- who?”
Andrew rolls his eyes. “Nathaniel Wesninski, except his name is Neil Josten now. He thinks we can kill Riko.”
Kevin goes very pale. “Wesninski? Why are you talking to Wesninski?”
Because his eyes are very blue and his thighs are very biteable and he smiles at me, Andrew thinks but doesn't say.
“We had math together last semester.” Kevin's face creases in confusion, but Andrew doesn't let him interrupt. ”Do you want to kill Riko or not?”
“I-”
Kevin freezes, and he looks very young suddenly. Andrew is reminded that Riko was his brother once, no matter how psychotic, and feels just a little guilty for asking this of him. Still, it has to be done. Andrew keeps his face impassive.
Kevin presses his eyes closed for a long moment.
“Yes.”
☆
It is the better part of a fortnight before they make the trip out to New York to see Ichirou Moriyama.
Kevin insists on coming, so the three of them all meet at the airport on Saturday morning, but it’s 5AM so Kevin sits down and immediately starts dozing again at the gate.
Andrew stands at the window and watches the planes take off, willing himself not to be sick. Fuck, he hates flying.
Neil joins him there, and smiles at him. Then he must see something on his face because he says, “Are you okay?”
“Fine,” Andrew grits out flatly, and glares at the reflection of the No Smoking sign in the window.
“It will be fine,” Neil tells him steadily. “Even if Ichirou doesn't kill Riko, he doesn't like the little dickhead enough to take offence that we’ll ask him to.”
Andrew grunts. Neil looks at him some more, then says, “Wait, are you scared of flying?”
“Heights,” Andrew tells him honestly.
Neil blinks at him, bewildered. “What? Andrew, you can't be. Why are we always hanging out on the roof?”
Andrew doesn't respond, because the answer would be telling.
Neil leans into his space slowly, and Andrew closes the distance so their shoulders press together. He hates himself for feeling a little better because of it.
“If it helps, most people in plane crashes die on impact,” Neil tells him.
Andrew scowls.
☆
Ichirou Moriyama’s office is at the top of a very tall building, with floor to ceiling windows behind his desk.
A stern looking Japanese man is standing just inside the door. Neil nods to him on the way in, but Andrew isn't sure if that's a sign of familiarity or respect, so he doesn't copy it. He’d rather be disrespectful than overly friendly.
Ichirou himself is young, only twenty-five or so. He smiles at Neil when they enter. It's not a warm expression, or particularly friendly necessarily, but it's familiar, and Neil returns it.
“Nathaniel,” he greets.
“Lord Moriyama,” Neil responds.
“I didn't think I’d hear from you again,” Ichirou says, which is a polite way of asking what the fuck they want.
“I think we can help each other,” Neil tells him.
Ichirou’s eyebrows jump. “Presumptuous,” he chides.
“Yes.”
Ichirou snorts, and gestures for Neil to continue.
“Riko will become a problem for you. He has already cost the family potential profit,” Neil gestures back at Kevin. They had filled Neil in about how Kevin came to be a fox last week. “And he is reckless. He uses your family's resources on his own petty grudges, with no regard for the consequences which may fall on your head.”
It turns out Riko had been involved with Drake last year, as well as Proust. Apparently there was a pretty obvious paper trail. Neil had looked like he wanted to kill Riko himself, when they confirmed it.
Ichirou nods, like he already knows everything Neil is saying. Neil takes this as encouragement and continues, “Those who question your command will be looking for someone else to follow. Your brother is an obvious choice, and he is too ambitious to be trusted not to seize the opportunity. It would be in all our best interests if Riko… didn't ever get that chance.”
“Speak plainly, Nathaniel,” Ichirou says.
Neil smiles at him sharply. “I’m asking you to kill Riko. I’d be happy to pay out his projected profits, but he's too much of a pain for either of us to keep around.”
“I’ll pay,” says Kevin suddenly. Neil and Andrew turn to him as one, with twin exasperated expressions. “Riko robbed you of the money from my career. I’m telling you I’m a better investment than him. I’ll give you half my salary for the rest of my career.”
Ichirou considers this. It's a slow process, and the room is silent for several long minutes. Only Neil seems to feel any ease.
“You’ll give me eighty percent,” Ichirou tells Kevin finally, “Every year until you retire.”
Kevin nods, eagerly.
Ichirou flicks his hand. “It’ll be done,” he tells Neil, who nods once gratefully.
“Neil,” Ichirou starts casually, “What do you care what Riko does?”
“I have my reasons,” Neil responds.
Ichirou squints at them for a second, then says judgmentally, “Kevin Day?”
“God no,” Neil scoffs immediately.
Ichirou examines Andrew consideringly. “Huh,” he says.
“What?” Kevin asks, and is ignored.
Neil smiles at Andrew, then says, “Thanks for this,” to Ichirou.
Ichirou waves him off dismissively, so they leave.
“I’m free,” Kevin says numbly.
“They’ll probably wait till after the season,” Neil warns. “Less attention that way.”
Kevin doesn't seem to hear him.
They fly back that evening, and Andrew drops Kevin back at fox tower before driving himself and Neil to Neil's apartment. Nothing happens that night, but they watch TV on the couch before falling asleep in bed side by side, in the apartment they decorated together, same as they have a half dozen times before.
It's the easiest thing in the world.
☆
It's a fucking miracle that the Foxes make it to the championship game, but they do. They’ve been working better as a team since they united in mutual dislike of Jack, and Nicky making nice with the upperclassmen over Christmas only made things smoother. Kevin's had a new lease on life since meeting with Ichirou in March, and things have been… good.
Mostly.
Things with Aaron are still strained, especially since Neil apparently bribed Katelyn Mackenzie to pressgang Aaron into family therapy a little while ago. Andrew's not exactly pleased with it either, but he eventually promised Neil that he’d at least try.
Andrew still doesn't get along with any of the upperclassmen, excluding Renee of course, on a personal level.
Also, crucially: Andrew doesn't actually give a shit about exy, and can't be fucked to play half the time.
But against all odds, the Foxes make the championship game, against the Ravens naturally, so Andrew claims one of his friends and family tickets for the first time ever to get a seat for Neil.
Everyone looks at him funny when he does, and he’s sure there's at least eight new bets about whether or not he has a girlfriend, but. Neil. So it's worth it.
(Mortifyingly, Kevin looks very knowing the whole time.)
Anyway, the championship game roles around, and Neil is in the stands.
“Andrew,” Kevin starts, but Andrew cuts him off.
“Save your breath.”
Kevin doesn't need to tell Andrew to actually try, for once because Neil is in the stands, and Andrew wants to win.
Renee plays the first quarter, so Andrew can watch and get a feel for the Ravens’ strikers. Then Andrew gets subbed in, and he sets about shutting the goal down.
The stadium is packed, so it should be embarrassing how quickly Andrew can pick Neil out of the crowd, but it isn't. Neil is grinning massively, face lit up by the stadium lights.
The Ravens take a hundred and fifty shots on goal. Andrew blocks a hundred and forty one. All up, the Ravens score fifteen goals.
Halfway through the game, Kevin switches his racket to his right hand, tattoo of a queen piece proud on his cheekbone. Seth slaps him on the back as they retake their places.
The Foxes score sixteen goals.
The final buzzer sounds. Andrew turns to the crowd, his entire body trembling, to look at Neil, who is already looking back.
They won.
Everything is a rush, after that. Riko tries to swing on Kevin, and Andrew breaks his arm. They are ushered off the court. Neil catches Andrew's eye, bracketed by two Japanese men, and mouths see you soon. The Foxes are ambushed by the press in the tunnel. They finally reach the locker room. Andrew pulls off his heavy gear with shaky hands and showers slowly.
Just as he finishes getting dressed, he hears Jack shout, “What the fuck are you doing here?”, and snaps back to reality. He turns around quickly.
It's just Neil, though, standing in the door. He smiles when he sees Andrew looking.
“It's done,” he tells Kevin simply. Kevin slumps like his strings have been cut.
“The fuck does that mean?” Seth scowls.
“Riko's dead,” Kevin responds faintly.
This prompts immediate uproar, everyone asking Kevin what the fuck that means, and how the fuck that happened, and so on so forth. In the commotion, Neil slides over to Andrew.
“Hi,” he says quietly, and leans slightly into Andrew's space.
“Hey,” Andrew responds, and leans just a bit closer.
“You were incredible,” Neil says wonderingly, and Andrew feels his ears go pink. Neil brushes his finger over one gently.
“What the fuck!?” Aaron says abruptly, having apparently watched this all happen.
Andrew rolls his eyes immediately, and grabs Neil by the upper arm to drag him out of the locker room. Neil chuckles quietly, but allows himself to be pulled easily.
Andrew shoves them in the first supply closet he finds, and closes the door behind them.
“Can I kiss you,” he asks, echoing what Neil said months ago.
“Yes,” Neil murmurs.
Kissing Neil is like waking up from a dream. It's sudden clarity, but it feels completely inevitable. It is also warm lips and slick tongues and hands that Andrew places on his own shoulders that stay there.
They break apart eventually, and Neil muffles his warm laughter against Andrew's shoulder. Andrew runs his hands through Neil's hair, a grounding motion.
In the dim light, Andrew sees Neil smile up at him, and he knows that Neil will be a problem for a very long time to come.
It feels fucking great.