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In Luffy's defense, first of all, he'd never been in love before. A handful of crushes, sure, all of which he'd been ruthlessly teased for, but nothing strong enough to last. Nothing strong enough to trigger a case of the old flower-lung if left unaddressed. Which led to the second point: it was way, way too soon. Flower-lung took months to develop, three at the absolute minimum and even that happening just once, a very long time ago, under circumstances most people agreed were probably made up for the sake of a good story.
Luffy had known Zoro for a month and a half.
"And you're sure it's this Zoro?" Kureha asked, examining the little flower Chopper had handed her. It was trumpet-shaped, mostly red but with green at the ends of its petals, with dramatic little black stripes leading to the interior. Luffy had coughed up three of them, and still held the other two in his hand. He nodded.
"I was thinking he'd be super jealous that we got to meet a cool little talking dog guy--"
"Reindeer," Chopper corrected.
"--And then I started coughing and three green flowers came out. Three swords, green hair, definitely Zoro."
Kureha and Chopper looked at each other, while Nami tucked her lips between her teeth like she was trying very hard not to say something. "Well," Kureha said at last, "aren't you a fun little crew? Chopper, what do you remember about flower-lung?"
"Um, its proper medical name is hanahaki disease," Chopper began. "Origin unknown, but the dominant theory is that a user of the Flower-Flower Fruit was involved. Symptoms typically develop six months to three years after the patient falls in love with someone, depending on factors including general emotional wellbeing and how well they get along with the other person. If left untreated, the rate of flower production increases until the lungs are fully obstructed, resulting in asphyxiation and ultimately death."
Luffy considered butting in here to point out that he wasn't going to die, but stopped himself. He'd been sitting on this feeling for weeks before the flowers started, his plans to say something to Zoro as a celebration once they'd made it to the Grand Line scuttled by that encounter with the sword girl that Zoro didn't want to talk about. And if it was moving so fast already, who knew how long he actually had?
Uninterrupted, Kureha continued to quiz Chopper. "What circumstances are most commonly associated with fast-moving cases of hanahaki disease?" Chopper thought for a moment before lighting up.
"Oh! Prolonged periods of intense and/or volatile emotions! It puts a strain on the patient's abilities to self-regulate and objectively analyze social situations, resulting in more favorable conditions for flower production!"
"Very good," Kureha told him. She turned to Luffy. "Does any of that ring a bell?"
"That creepy doll girl on Little Garden!"
"Miss Goldenweek?" Nami clarified. Luffy pointed at her to indicate she was right and continued his thought.
"She had these weird paints where every color makes you feel one emotion but really strong," Luffy told Kureha and Chopper. "I think there were five? And she kept putting one color on me and then wiping it off and putting another color on until Usopp saved me. Do you think that would've done it?"
Kureha narrowed her eyes at the explanation, like she was thinking about something. "Interesting. We should probably keep you under observation once you've completed treatment, but we'll worry about that after the fact. For now, how about you boys go see how Blondie's doing with dinner? Just don't go coughing over the cauldron, those flowers are poisonous."
Luffy was not the kind of guy who responded to this sort of news, either out loud or in his head, with "it figures", but if he were, he would have been right. It definitely figured.
The next day Vivi arrived, and then Wapol with his main goons, and in the end it didn't take much time at all to relieve Drum Island of its petty tyrant problem. Luffy also managed to go almost the entire time without coughing up more flowers, which he was pretty proud of. Then Zoro and Usopp got there, Zoro in one of those long green guard coats and maximum grump mode, and Luffy's attempt to look totally chill about kicking an evil king's butt was immediately ruined by the worst coughing fit yet.
"Oh!" Vivi said. "Another lily of the ancients!"
"A what now?" Sanji asked, since Luffy was still clearing the last of the flowers from his throat. These ones didn't look even the slightest bit sickly, so the medicine he'd been given last night must've worn off.
"There's this whole group of flower species called lilies of the ancients." She explained this casually, but she had such a mischievous glint in her eye that Luffy suddenly dreaded the next words out of her mouth. "There's a special branch of flower-arranging where the flowers have different meanings and can be used to convey messages, and lilies of the ancients signify a bond so strong that words aren't adequate to describe it."
Nami and Sanji shared a look at this, both trying not to laugh. Usopp was covering his mouth with a fist, clearly doing the same. Luffy didn't know what Zoro was doing, because if he looked at Zoro he was maybe going to explode.
Vivi kept talking.
"It's actually very interesting, because before I left, Mr. Bushido here--"
"That's enough!" Zoro brushed past Vivi before she could say what this Mr. Bushido guy had been doing, grabbing Luffy by the wrist and dragging him out of the room. He only stopped when a door had closed behind them, cutting them off from the rest of the crew and their newest friends. For a little while he didn't say anything at all, but he didn't let go of Luffy's wrist, either, and the longer they stood there the more Luffy realized that he seemed... nervous.
"Zoro." He wasn't sure what to say, whether to apologize or reassure him or admit to the way meeting him had felt like reattaching a limb Luffy hadn't known he was missing. But Zoro squeezed Luffy's wrist, rolled his shoulders like he was loosening up for a fight, and finally said something.
"Would you tell me who it is?"
Luffy realized about then that he hadn't brought any flowers with him this time, all of them except whatever Vivi had picked up still spilled all over the dais where they'd fallen. They would have made this so much easier, he was sure of it. But since they couldn't... well, it probably wouldn't be any worse than being struck by lightning, and he'd come out of that pretty okay.
Instead of answering with words he stepped closer, insinuating himself into Zoro's personal space with surprising ease to steal the only kiss he was ever going to get. It was the piratey thing to do, after all, and Zoro would forgive him soon enough.
Except Luffy couldn't bring himself to break the kiss after those first few seconds, and then Zoro's mouth moved against his in a way that meant he wasn't pulling away either. In fact, his free hand was fisting in Luffy's Nami-coat, and when Luffy finally had to pull away because his lungs were burning, he made such a sad little noise that it sounded like he was going to cry. That wasn't how Luffy wanted things to be between them at all, so he kissed him again.
"Far be it from me to interrupt a romantic interlude, but you two know you can make out as much as you want once we're back on the ship, right?" The voice was Usopp's, not muffled at all by whatever door Zoro had put between them on the way out. Luffy considered answering for maybe half a second before Zoro pulled him closer, the hand in his coat releasing to do something that sent Usopp back to the others with a cheerful-sounding, "Okay, take your time." That was why he was such a good first mate.
Eventually, of course, they would realize Usopp was right. They would return to the others, recruit Chopper to be their new ship's doctor, and set out for their next adventure, and maybe they would even talk things over, just to be sure they were really on the same page this time. That would be for later, though. For now, there was only one other thing that needed to be said.
"My flowers were yellow."