Work Text:
IMDb - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.
https://www.youtube.com/c/jsbstrikebeck
beckyyuiuyyy
my full REAL legal name is rebecca m.j. jsbstrikebeck. i edit bullshit and call it movies. they she
543 subscribers
17 videos
joined: 03 may 2017
e-mail: [email protected]
Date: 2023-06-08 13:41
From: Owen A. Williams <[email protected]>
To: Rebecca Johnson <[email protected]>
Subject: Hello
Ms. Johnson,
I hope this e-mail finds you well. I wish I knew the proper way to approach this subject, but I have been thinking about the best possible way to write this to honestly no avail, so please excuse my awkwardness.
As strange as it may seem, I have reason to believe I have met you before. I make this assumption from your online profile, looking at videos attached to your name and some word of mouth, if this is the right address, of course, and if I am not blinded by a resemblance to an old friend of mine. More simply put, is your real name Matthew Johnson?
Sincere apologies if you are not the person I am searching for.
Owen A. Williams
942-3802-1297
Date: 2023-06-09 09:52
From: Rebecca Johnson <[email protected]>
To: Owen A. Williams <[email protected]>
Subject: No
Mr. Williams,
I am taken aback by the nature of this correspondence. For me, a respectable lawyer, to receive an e-mail implying my identity and name to be something else from a man I have never heard of before, I find it ridiculous at best. This is a professional address, sir. Let me make it clear you have just admitted to stalking. You would best check your sources before contacting busy people with such ludicrous accusations.
Rebecca
Date: 2023-06-09 09:59
From: Owen A. Williams <[email protected]>
To: Rebecca Johnson <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: No
Ms. Johnson,
I am terribly sorry for my misunderstanding and wasting your time. I won’t bother you any longer.
Owen A. Williams
942-3802-1297
Date: 2023-06-09 12:46
From: Rebecca Johnson <[email protected]>
To: Owen A. Williams <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Re: No
i’m fucking with you. it is me. 64780417419 text me
Rebecca
Messages with 647-8041-7419 on 9 Jun 2023
16:05
owen: Hello?
17:10
becky: hey
17:13
owen: Is this Matt Johnson?
becky: dont you see my display name?
owen: I assume you're still fucking with me
becky: im not fucking with you
becky: i am your “old friend”. but thats just not my name anymore lol
owen: Okay.
owen: Yeah, I saw you in some of your videos and… wow
becky: whats that supposed to mean. wow
owen: You look like an entirely different person.
becky: thats called estrogen thank GOD for it
owen: I just didn't know. I wouldn't have guessed.
becky: well, in high school a lot of people did. it took ME a while though.
becky: but im not matt johnson and im not 16 anymore and i honestly dont know you by now so i expect formalities. im rebecca to you.
owen: Alright.
becky: im not serious beckys fine but youve got this professional textign thing going on
becky: like youre a salesman or something
becky: what did you grow up to be?
owen: I'm studying to become a Professor of Education.
becky: so a teacher
owen: A teacher for teachers
becky: ohh
becky: ive never even thought about that… WHO teaches teachers…
becky: wait so if youre studying that you have a teacher that’s a teacher for teachers of teachers? damn
becky: talk about inception
owen: I want to focus on Pedagogy.
becky: right
becky: thats very like… narratively coherent of you
becky: like of course youre gonna be working at that. its a nice closure
owen: What happened these past years with you?
becky: wellllll
becky: its been 10 years of therapy and pills and 3 failed film scripts and 4 short films on youtube
becky: lots of scribbling out my name everywhere. but you wouldnt BELIEVE how many matt johnsons are out there
owen: Right
owen: I assume it was hard for you.
owen: I didn't hear of anything for years after they said you were given a conditional charge. Though I guess I also avoided finding out
owen: I was just so relieved you wouldn't go to jail.
becky: yeah well
becky: mental hospital it was. ontario shores babyyy
becky: haha no that fucking sucked. at 16 i was just convinced jail would be better
becky: was just about ready to do it all again. we're just here for the DOCTORS. lol
18:07
becky: i'm kiddingggg..
becky: instant hour of silence huh
becky: do you even want to talk about this? like what the hell are you getting at here man
owen: No, you’re right. How are you now?
becky: my life’s pretty good!!
becky: i’m studying film, crazy i know. and you saw my little side projects.
becky: i love myself a lot more now. im very happy.
becky: i hope the same for you too
owen: Thank you.
becky: tell me more about you
owen: There’s not much to say. I’m on a summer break, of course, so my life is pretty uneventful.
owen: I’m reading a lot lately.
becky: hey thats nice
owen: That’s pretty much it
becky: well its good to hear we are both more than fine
owen: Yeah. Yes
12 Jun 2023
14:09
owen: Hey
becky: oh hello
becky: sup!
owen: Not much
becky: same here.
15:51
owen: Do you have any ideas for things to do lately?
becky: like in my life or. for you or what
becky: are you asking for, like, a movie rec? umm. have you watched that film jojo rabbit?
owen: I don’t watch many films lately, honestly
becky: bummer. you’d like it.
owen: I’ll try to make time for it
becky: cool
becky: its about this german kid in ww2 whos training to be a nazi and he wants to be a nazi so bad
becky: his imaginary friend is hitler and everything
becky: but his mom is hiding a jewish girl in their house
owen: Wow
becky: its really funny. and good its very good and sentimental dont let that take away from it
owen: Okay
owen: I'll watch it
becky: awesome
16 Jun 2023
21:58
owen: Hi, Rebecca
22:10
becky: hey owen
owen: Anything interesting happen these days?
becky: hmmm
becky: you know wes anderson
becky: hes getting this movie out next week
owen: I remember some of his films
owen: But again, I haven't been keeping up with movies in general
becky: yeah you told me
becky: it really sucks you dropped the habit
becky: itd do you good to go back to that
becky: movies are literaly everything
owen: I just don’t have time
becky: okay
22:26
becky: did you text me just to talk orrrr
owen: Yeah, I don’t have much to share
becky: thats fine
28 Jun 2023
23:17
becky: the wes anderson movie was good.
29 Jun 2023
06:12
owen: Glad to hear that
12:03
becky: haha why were you up so early??
12:54
owen: I’m helping my brother over the summer
becky: doing what
owen: Fixing cars.
becky: and you like that?
owen: No
owen: But it gives me money.
becky: AHAHAH just imagining you under a car is getting me
owen: I can’t imagine myself either.
becky: crouched under one fixing the
becky: uuuuuh i dont know any car parts
owen: Exhaust pipes, maybe
becky: now if it were A BIKE i can picture it. you loved that thing
owen: I did
becky: now youre gonna tell me you dont even ride bikes anymore
owen: Well, I don’t need to during the year, I’m living in campus. And I don’t go much other places.
owen: Although I guess I could start making it a habit again. But I just get home so tired lately.
becky: GEEZ i know we havent talked in a decade but youre talking like youre 46
becky: wehn did we ever ride bikes to get anywhere though
becky: it was about going around the same shitty street in the middle of the night
becky: the wind in your hair and splashing you with muddy water and all that shit that was like the best feeling in the world if youre 15
becky: everyone else was getting their thrill by smoking weed. and we were RIDING ON A BIKE.
owen: It was nice.
becky: yeah, it was
18:01
owen: I’m free from fixing cars for today.
becky: have they got you on a twelve hour day for sittin around wearing some stupid outfit d:
owen: Sort of
becky: lolll
becky: i still need to get a drivers licence. myold psychiatrist said there was no use trying with my health history
becky: new psychiatrst says apparently that was straight up BULLSHIT!!!
owen: That’s terrible
becky: I KNOW
becky: ive got so many stories of my old psychiatrist. i swear she had something against me
becky: but neither of us wanna hear all that
becky: hows therapy treating you man
owen: I haven't gone to therapy in years. My parents paid for it until I was 18
becky: oh hah
becky: i can hear it in your dads voice. “youre an ADULT. men dont DO therapy!!”
owen: It went kind of like that.
owen: But my parents are helpful. I'm staying with them until I start school again.
becky: ah nice
becky: thats nice.
01 Jul 2023
11:35
owen: Hey
becky: heyy
owen: Happy Canada Day
becky: happy canada day owen!
becky: oh god is this what we are now. best friends turned people who say happy canada day to each other over text
owen: I guess so.
becky: are we like those bored couples you feel sorry for in restaurants?
becky: (thats from eternal sunshine d:)
owen: The Jim Carrey movie?
becky: yuppp
becky: are you going out or something?
owen: Yeah! Family plans tonight.
becky: ah nice
11:50
owen: Sorry, what about you?
becky: what about me
becky: plans? well. watching fireworks but thats me and a few neighbors at most
19:31
owen: You know, I think a good firework shot would fit a movie very well.
19:46
becky: wait thats genius
becky: holy shit ill go out with my camera tonight. thanks man
03 Jul 2023
12:37
owen: Did you get anything good?
becky: i did!!! thank you for the idea.
becky: lights and fire are SO cinematic
14:00
owen: I like the shorts you've got up on YouTube
becky: oh thanks!
becky: yeahh theyre my little passion projects
becky: and i mean WE used to do shit like that all the time back in the day so. makes sense
owen: Yeah
owen: You make more… experimental stuff
becky: YEAH… everyone irl just calls it weird and sloppy but i get my own vision
becky: some peoplpe online do like it too
becky: i dont know if you count as irl or online
owen: I’m a real person
becky: people online are real too yknow
becky: but it does definitely carry less weight through a screen. yeah.
becky: its a little embarrassing to know youve seen me with a stupid outfit and a shit ton of eyeliner on but not what i REALLY look like right now.
becky: i dont know what you look like either.
owen: I think I look the same.
owen: I'm wearing glasses so that's new
becky: rectangular ones ill bet
becky: black ones. thin frame. mr owen williams the adult. professor of education.
owen: That's… spot on, yeah
owen: Except they're blue.
becky: damn. i was close!
owen: Hahaha
becky: i should wear glasses. i dont. but i should
owen: What frame would you wear?
becky: good question. i dont know
becky: those cats eye ones
owen: I can imagine you with round ones
owen: Thin white frame
becky: hmm. maybe i will get glasses just to see who’s right.
owen: It’d be nice to see it haha
becky: but anyways yeah on my short films i guesspeople just dont GET IT
becky: i dont knowwhy its so hard for everyone else to understand what im trying to say in a story. i feel im pretty obvious. but when i finlaly receive an interpretation from someone it just feels wrong
becky: like its right there laid out in front of you! what else do you want me to say about it!!
owen: Right
owen: Well, there’s a whole literary principle about that, isn’t there? Death of the author?
becky: im alive and kicking!
becky: idk i know thats a thing but it just ends up feeling likeif people dont get my characters in my films 100% its like a personal insult.
becky: i almost get mad at the CHARACTERS! i wanna shake them and say “you cant be ugly! be pretty!”
owen: What are we talking about anymore?
becky: sorry thats another reference ahah
becky: im glad you liked my little stories
becky: my characters would really, really like you.
owen: Can’t wait for the next one then. If you’re making a next one.
becky: i always am. i just have no ideas for it yet.
becky: but! they always come to me too. so dont worry
06 Jul 2023
21:29
owen: Helloo
23:46
becky: shit i just saw this. hey owen
becky: sorry my minds been. somewhere else the whole day ahaha
owen: That’s perfectly fine. I get it.
owen: How are you?
becky: ffffine
becky: im kind of busy right now
owen: Oh, that’s fine
owen: Sorry if I disturbed you
becky: youre good dw
11 Jul 2023
19:09
owen: Hey, how are you?
19:13
owen: I was gonna keep reading this book but I’m thinking of watching a movie instead. I just don’t know what
owen: If you have any recommendations
19:39
owen: I didn’t find the one you told me about anywhere
becky: hi. im not in the mood for conversation right now
owen: Oh. Sorry.
19:58
becky: no im sorry
becky: agh look can i be serious for a moment
owen: Yes of course
20:04
becky: you know everything i said when we first talked. about loving my life and how happy i am
becky: yeahhh well that was complete bullshit
owen: Well why would you lie about that?
becky: it worked didnt it. i mean you believed it!
becky: and im trying to believe it myself
becky: if you run your practiced lines enough times. manifestation or whatever. i prefer calling it method acting
owen: Ah
becky: and im stuck in this REALLY depressive moment of my life rn but i dont want to think about any of that.
becky: and lying isnt gonna get me anywhere. i just want to be honest with you from now on
owen: Well, thank you for that
becky: have you been lying about anything?
owen: There’s things I just haven’t said.
becky: like?
owen: Well, I don’t know. You can ask and I’ll be as honest as I can.
becky: game! i like that. ok ok let me see
becky: did chrissy dump you or did you dump her
owen: That’s your first question?
becky: you said youd be honest!
owen: I didn't even mention us breaking up.
becky: well. it was obvious
owen: I… don’t think it was either of us.
owen: College sort of got in the way. There wasn’t much of a way around it.
owen: I stayed in Ontario and she wanted to move to Vancouver
becky: whats she doing. did she become a supermodel or somehting?
owen: Well, she’s gotten into acting, but she’s done some photoshoots for magazines.
becky: holy shit.
becky: wait youre still in contact?? or are you stalking her???
owen: We ended in good terms.
becky: mhm mhm…
owen: It’s mostly me texting her every now and then. But she’s never not eager to talk when we do.
becky: god. of course she actually is a model. she was so pretty
becky: like just objectively speaking. i think she was one of the prettiest people ive had to meet.
becky: and im in film school.
becky: oh well. get busy living or get busy dying!!!
owen: Shawshank Redemption.
becky: YESSS i knew you still had it in you d:
becky: ok next questoin
becky: does that mean youve got another gf now?
owen: No
owen: My friends say I’m not looking hard enough. I just don’t know
becky: do they try to pair you up with girls through any good plans?
owen: I’m not a fan of plans.
becky: well.
becky: my next question then is how do you get along with these friends of yours
owen: We get along. They’re my roommates.
becky: how many of them are there
owen: There’s 3 of us, but they’ve both got their own group of friends and they include me in that generally.
becky: have you got. like. any friends outside of that
owen: What are you trying to imply here?
becky: im just asking!
becky: so? do you have friends of your own?
owen: I keep to myself.
becky: im just checking in on you
becky: i dont really have many friends either!!
becky: im just worried cause youre inclined to lying about it
owen: You can’t be talking
becky: ehh… touché
21:09
becky: but you really have to make yourself some good friends who deserve you. ok?
21:18
owen: I will. (edited)
21:26
becky: good!
becky: and also, you should watch portrait of a lady on fire.
13 Jul 2023
22:22
owen: Hi Becky
becky: wait 2222
owen: The time, yeah
becky: text at 2222 means a love confession
owen: Come on
becky: im KIDDINGGG…
becky: its a good schtick to dump on some girl though. that or running after her at a new years eve party
owen: How are you?
becky: im fiiine
becky: took my meds in time today!!
owen: Thats good
becky: thanks
becky: it also means im very sleepy
owen: Might be for the best
owen: I’m almost done with this book.
becky: what are you reading?
owen: It’s called Normal People.
becky: never heard of it. but books just arent my thing
becky: is it a romance?
owen: It is
becky: i had a feeling
owen: It’s about these two teenagers who fall in love. They start coming in and out of each other’s lives and still they don’t stop loving each other
owen: They really struggle to look past their class differences and the girl is… going through very abusive situations with most other men in her life
owen: So. I’m still seeing how it goes. But it’s harsher than I expected
becky: right
22:51
owen: This is a little personal
becky: yeah?
owen: I have a journal of sorts where I write down my favorite quotes from books I read or movies I watch
owen: And I just wrote this one down and I thought you might find it interesting.
becky: hit me
owen: They just had a New Year’s Eve kiss, like you said
owen: And Marianne, that’s the girl, she’s finally grown to accept this idea of Connell loving her
becky: his name’s connell? christ
becky: didnt we know a guy named that at school?
owen: I don’t remember.
becky: its a stupid fucking name
becky: i dont get why people pick stupid names for their characters. like you have the chance to write anything in the world and you name your guy connell.
owen: Yeah it’s kind of a dumb name
owen: But uh. She thinks about how you can’t not depend on people. So she might as well accept it and let herself depend on him and let him depend on her.
becky: you wrote that down in your journal?
owen: Yeah. Well, the actual wording
owen: Don’t make fun of me, I just thought it was nice writing
becky: im notmaking fun of you!
becky: this just isnt my genre of choice. but thats fine
becky: watch the movie i last told you about if you want a good romance
owen: I will
owen: I’m making a list of the films you mention too
becky: thats good hahaha!
becky: look ican barely keep my eyes open so im gonna clock ouyt
becky: so heres looking at you kid
owen: Byee
14 Jul 2023
10:12
owen: Good morning
becky: buongiorno principessa!
owen: How did you sleep after all?
becky: i was pretty okay. what about you
owen: I slept fine too
owen: I finished my book
becky: cool
owen: It was good
owen: They ended up parting ways again.
becky: what was all that for then
owen: I mean, it’s for the best
owen: Marianne lets Connell go with a promise to be there when he can come back to her once more.
becky: huh. okay
owen: I need something else to read now. I’ve got a few books on my shelf still
becky: you should watch a movie
owen: I’ll try to tonight
owen: I’m also not stuck in the car shop today either
becky: hahahah
becky: thats good. have fun reading
17:05
becky: i just dyed my hair impulsively
becky: i think itlooks. okay.
owen: What did you do to it?
becky: i turned thelike bottom of it black
becky: my bathroom’s a mess. it’s probably not even gonna end up that good
becky: but i had to do some radical change so thats that
becky: im gonna start listing tea flavors any minute now
owen: Hahah
owen: You do remind me of her a little
becky: i know right. i get her so much honestly.
owen: That might not be as good as you think
becky: you know sometimes you sound like youre reading words out of a shitty script
owen: What's that supposed to mean
becky: you tell me
owen: Okay?
becky: i AM fucking with you this time
owen: I'm coming to expect that
20 Jul 2023
22:09
owen: Hey
becky: hii
owen: Listen
owen: I’m alone at my place right now
owen: My parents went out to this birthday dinner or something.
becky: wha
owen: Do you maybe want to voicecall?
becky: oh shit
becky: i thought you were gonna ask me to like come over
owen: No no no
becky: yeah uhh
becky: i cant call rn
owen: Ah okay
owen: That’s fine.
22:26
becky: i said i wouldnt lie to you sorry
becky: i can. i just dont really liketalking to people on the phone
becky: i prefer being face to face
becky: not a fan of my own disembodied voice. as stupid as that sounds
owen: We could Facetime or something
becky: haha
becky: maybe
becky: yeah idk if we arent texting id very much just rather seeing you like a real person
owen: Right
becky: though i mean. we could meet up
22:45
owen: Maybe
23:04
owen: What days are you free?
becky: just anytime really
becky: except when im not d:
owen: Does Sunday afternoon work?
owen: My parents’ place is still the same as ten years ago.
21 Jul 2023
00:48
becky: okay.
09:36
owen: Okay
22 Jul 2023
14:55
owen: Do you feel like bringing anything?
becky: i dont think so
becky: i mean ill take my camera probably
owen: Why?
becky: cause i go everywhere with it
owen: I meant snacks or something. To kind of figure out what we're gonna do
becky: oh i thought we'd just figure it out there
owen: Okay
15:13
owen: Could you maybe not take the camera?
becky: ah
becky: yeah? i mean i can leave it at home
owen: Sorry, I'd just really prefer that
becky: its okay
becky: camera stays here.
owen: Right. Thanks.
23 Jul 2023
15:21
owen: Hi, are you on your way?
becky: yeah uhh
becky: ill be later than i thought sorry. but ill be there
owen: That’s fine
24 Jul 2023
08:12
owen: Hi Becky
owen: Did you get home safely?
08:34
owen: Just let me know when you can.
25 Jul 2023
11:44
becky: hi i did! sorry i sort of blacked out all of yesterday
11:56
owen: It’s okay
owen: It was nice seeing you again
becky: id call it awkwarddd
becky: im bugging you. it WAS nice. it was just. weird
becky: like WOW we’re really not the same people anymore huh
owen: Yeah.
becky: god. its so funny.
14:33
owen: Just watched that movie you told me to watch.
becky: which one!!!!!!
owen: Jojo Rabbit
owen: It was very very good. Extremely interesting movie.
becky: YESSS
becky: i know
becky: did you cry
owen: I didn’t!
becky: well neither did i. i just expected you to
owen: The Heroes needledrop made me smile
becky: yeahhh
becky: the last song in a movie is SO important
becky: as soon as i can make my next good full feature film i know exactly what im gonna play at the end
owen: Can I know?
becky: hmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnno
owen: Come onnn
becky: i dont even know if im gonna get to make it any time soon so not yet. you could be my test audience some day though
owen: I’d like that very much.
28 Jul 2023
23:53
owen: Hii
becky: heyy!!
becky: i was just thinking about you
owen: What were you thinking about?
becky: well its like a dream. you were definitely there but i could not tell you what you were doing in it
owen: Hahah okay
becky: youre in a good mood
owen: I guess so yeah
owen: I’m taking a break from this book
becky: what are you reading??
owen: The Stepford Wives
becky: woah! i know theres two movies named that!
owen: I saw this when I first Googled it, yeah.
becky: guess theyre adaptations then. are you liking it?
owen: Well, it is very good.
owen: But it’s frightening to say the least. So I’m not having the best time reading it haha
becky: well if youre reacting like that to it that definitely means its GOOD good so thats cool
becky: you know i think its really good we saw each other in person
owen: I am pretty glad we did that, yes.
becky: i think its helping our closeness. its like i just understand you again
becky: its not like anything changed cause we’re still texting but i can just feel it. yknow
owen: I don’t know, actually
becky: you dont tell me things. but im an open book. i tell you everything. every damn embarrassing thing.
owen: I just don't know. I'm not used to this.
becky: thats clementine
owen: From… that Jim Carrey movie?
becky: yeah. that jim carrey movie
becky: wdym youre not used to this? to having friends?
owen: I’m just not really open with people in general. I don’t know how you can still read me so well
becky: i dont know if you remember we were best friends once
owen: I know, I know, but… still.
becky: but yeah im happy things arent awkward between us at all
29 Jul 2023
00:00
owen: Me too
owen: Oh it’s so late. We should sleep
becky: im editing
becky: gonna stay up all night for this probably
becky: then wake up tomorrow and keep going
owen: Correction, you should sleep
becky: honestly this is more revitalizing than sleep to me. like im in bed and im tossing and turning cause i could be adding this or that effect to my project
owen: You’re funny sometimes
becky: good funny or bad funny?
owen: You tell me
becky: wowwwwww i see how it is
becky: ok go to bed now
owen: You too then!
becky: nahh
becky: and anyways you always fell asleep first at ALL of our sleepovers
owen: I used to feel bad about it. Only at first though
becky: i still dont get why
owen: I don’t know. I felt rude
becky: it became a habit eventually
becky: we'd be watching some movie and then id see you nodding off and id run my hand through your hair once and that was like all the acknowledgement you needed. cause then youd turn on your side and youd be out in like a minute
owen: That’s not true. We used to talk first
becky: it was more like i talked and youd go hhhhhmmm mhmmm
becky: i always thought you werent even processing anything i said
owen: I promise it got through to my brain somehow
owen: Or my subconscious. I was speaking to you even in my dreams
becky: ha
becky: well youll just have to imagine me messing up your hair this time
owen: Okay. I will
owen: Talk to you soon
becky: heres looking at ya kid!
01 Aug 2023
18:51
becky: owen!
owen: Hi Beckyy
becky: guess what
becky: [202308011852.heic]
owen: Woah!
becky: GLASSES!!!
owen: That’s crazy!
owen: And that’s basically the exact description I gave you
becky: ahaha yeah
becky: you were right after all
becky: do you like them?
owen: Yeah, I do
owen: You look great in them
becky: ok theyre glasses theyre not all that
becky: and my makeups so bad rn i think i dont look great in general
becky: im embarrassed now i thinkimdeleting the image
owen: Oh please
owen: Don’t do all that. You know you look nice
owen: The glasses do add something to your face though
becky: fhdgdf ok ok thank youuu
becky: how are you?
owen: I’m pretty okay
becky: show me your glasses!!
owen: You’ve seen them already
owen: And I kind of look like shit right now
becky: i sent a picture of myself looking like shit so its only fair
owen: You’re right there
owen: You’ve been warned though
owen: [IMG_2308071852.heic]
becky: see there you are. was that so hard d:
becky: say hi owen
owen: Hi Owen
becky: ahaha
becky: you know what im thinking about
becky: i dont get why you dont have a gf right now
owen: I have an idea or two.
becky: can i be crazy for a second?
becky: i havent stopped thinking about how youve really grown up now
becky: like look at the shape of your face. do you even remember what you looked like 10 years ago??
owen: I try not to
becky: well i do
becky: my point is despite all that you still give off this vibe that makes me want to protect you. like a guy id hold and tend to his wounds or something
becky: again insane but im sure theres many girls out there who’d agree
becky: fuck your friends’ party plans, you just gotta put yourself out there. find the person that wants to tend to your wounds and marry her.
owen: That’s just not how relationships in real life work.
owen: People go on dates. They walk and eat ice cream and guys put their hands on the small of girls’ backs and… I don't know
owen: There’s no hacking up blood and tending to wounds. There shouldn't be
owen: That’s fiction.
owen: Besides, what am I supposed to do?
owen: Walk up to a girl and say “hi, I find you very attractive, do you picture yourself bandaging my bleeding arm?”
becky: she wont be weirded out if shes the one
owen: That’s fiction again.
becky: god youre always talking about “fiction” and “real life”!!
becky: well sometimes fiction IS better and more appealing than real life.
becky: do you actually WANT the ““real life”” version of things? cause it doesnt seem to be working for you!
owen: You don't know that.
becky: i know you though
becky: and i saw you a week ago and we sort of talked about all this and you did that thing where you fucking SCRUTINIZE the ground cause you dont wanna be honest to yourself
becky: i start mentioning girls or the words fitting in and you start sputtering. i think you know why
becky: you think no one wants to give you the ““real”” thing but i think thats because you dont want it either
becky: like damn owen are you sure you DO already belong in this real world you talk about?
owen: Can we stop talking about this?
owen: Like a minute ago the fucking topic was glasses. I don’t know if you do these things to people on purpose, but just so you know, this isn’t how a conversation is supposed to go.
becky: yeah yeah yeah that’s what you say
becky: owen, its OKAY! i will never judge you for anything in the world and you know that. just stop lying to yourself jesus christ!!
New upload
SO GO!!!! [06:31]
jsbstrikebeck • 3 Aug 2023 • 1.1k views
04 Aug 2023
20:47
owen: Rebecca
becky: hii
owen: You just cannot stop lying, can you?
becky: ??!! what did i do
owen: The porch of my house is in your last short.
becky: oh um yeah?
becky: are you worried about safety or stuff bc its not that much and no one knows whose house it is
becky: in fact i framed it as MY childhood home
owen: You promised you wouldn't bring your camera over here.
becky: listen i assumed you didnt want me to so i wouldnt film YOU
becky: and i didnt! well youre not in the short
becky: its just standing outside your house again… it was insane to me. i HAD to film it
becky: i had to preserve it
becky: and in my films i like to use imagery that REALLY means something to me.
owen: I asked you for something and you didn't do it
becky: look im sorry i didnt mean to hurt you
becky: it makes no sense to anyone but me you dont have antthing to worry about
owen: Please delete whatever recording you have that I don’t know about.
becky: sorry dave im afraid i cant do that….
owen: I'm being serious Rebecca
owen: And I already know what you’re referencing, so don’t clarify. Just stop
becky: sorry sorry. i will
becky: i promise i wont use recordings of your house again
owen: Or myself or anything
owen: I want them gone
becky: i wont use any of it
owen: No
owen: Delete them.
becky: god okay. fine.
21:31
becky: did you like the video though?
21:59
owen: Yeah.
23:10
becky: thats great
becky: did you get what it was about?
23:22
owen: I don’t know. I can’t pin it down
05 Aug 2023
10:24
becky: hey
owen: Hello
becky: well uhh. youre not supposed to explain the themes behind what you make (YOU should interpret it. and i do wanna hear your interpretation) but
becky: its definitely a metaphor i can tell you that
owen: A metaphor for what?
becky: well
becky: its not clear.
owen: …Alright.
owen: What I think is you’re feeling weird about something and you’re making it so everyone feels weird about it when watching it too.
becky: uhh
becky: well im not feeling weird about anything. i just did it. but
becky: yeah thats the idea
owen: I don’t think you can make something like that when you’re perfectly fine with everything in your life.
becky: did you not like it?
owen: Yes, I did, I think it’s good
owen: I also think you’re either lying to me or to yourself if you genuinely think it comes from nothing
becky: HAHAH OH GOD youre just spewing therapy bullshit to me
becky: “oh what is this REALLY about matt… clearly this is a cry for help…”
becky: well sometimes fiction is fiction and reality is reality and thats it
becky: the character im playing. theyre not me. thats just a character.
becky: i mean as SOON as you put a camera in front of someone thats not them anymore so it doesnt matter this characters nameless
becky: we can name them. miss nothing
becky: or daphne AHAHAH
becky: listen its okay if you just dont like it. i did do something you didnt want me to do. butlike you dont get it and thats also fine
owen: Whatever you say
becky: uh. why are you being sarcasitc
owen: I don’t want to keep going in circles about this.
becky: fine okay
becky: dont get upset
owen: I’m not
becky: okay. i dont want you to be
10 Aug 2023
16:14
becky: hey owennnnn
owen: Yes?
becky: are you home? d:
owen: Yeah
owen: What happened
becky: you should look outside
19:01
becky: hey i got home safely
19:30
owen: Please don’t do that again
19:42
becky: i already said im sorry and i just wanted to surprise you
owen: But I want to know if I’m going to see you.
becky: geez what am i now? you wanna read the forecast and have it say cloudy with a chance of me just showing up to say hi?
owen: With a camera.
becky: ok well that was more like a candid moment situation
becky: i expected you to be a LITTLE happy as soon as you saw me
becky: i checked the recordings when i got home. they all suck!
becky: it wouldve been a nice memory to keep if you had reacted more accordingly idk
owen: Fine, next time let me know and send me a script and you can direct whatever the hell we’re gonna do just however you want it to go.
becky: god okay!!! i really dont understand what i did so terribly wrong here!
becky: stop being mad at me! idk what you want me to say!!
owen: Let’s just say nothing.
becky: fine. we’ll say nothing.
14 Aug 2023
18:40
becky: heyy youve got me pretty abandoned this week so far haha
owen: Hi. I just started school again
becky: damn
becky: ive got until next week still
19:09
becky: so hows that going??
owen: Fine
becky: just fine?
owen: Yeah, I don’t know
becky: ok
becky: you know what im thinking already
owen: Yes and I don’t want to hear it again
becky: ok ok
19 Aug 2023
01:55
becky: ugh are you still mad at me for going to your house unannounced?
becky: because i AM sorry owen i just really dont get it. but what matters is it bothered you and so im sorry
becky: so will you forgive me now?
07:48
owen: I’m not mad at you.
12:24
becky: well it just feels like youre avoiding me. so.
12:44
owen: Please don’t start with all this.
owen: I’m not avoiding you, I promise
becky: okay.
21 Aug 2023
00:59
becky: you up?
01:07
owen: For some reason, yes
becky: oh hey
owen: Hey
becky: yeah i thought i saw you online
becky: how are you?
owen: Exhausted but I can’t sleep at all
owen: No idea why. I’ve been like this the whole week
becky: that sucks
becky: well im very awake too but thats typical of me. i forgot to takemy zoloft today and its too late now
becky: at least i dont have any class until 3 tomorrow
becky: you wanna call maybe?
owen: I’ve got roommates
becky: you said theyre always out or somtehing
owen: They’re not right now
becky: well ok
becky: we should meet up again!!
becky: and i solemnly swear no camera ever
owen: I’m very busy these days. Started studying again and everything
becky: yeah well me too lol but i can make some time
becky: how does the weekend sound?
owen: I really can’t
becky: well when can you
owen: Not any time soon
becky: you dont have a single hour of free time in the next month
owen: My schedule’s a mess, sorry. We can keep texting
becky: it’s not the same LMAO
10:03
becky: hey owen
becky: guess who broke her fucking glasses as soon as she woke up!!!
becky: they didnt last me a month
12:31
owen: Hi, I was in class, sorry
21:04
becky: and i was asleep. haha
becky: i like JUST woke up isnt that funny
22:22
owen: Sorry, I wasn’t home
becky: hey, 2222
owen: Oh yeah
becky: where were you so late? and i mean late for you d:
owen: Just out
becky: with your roommates
owen: Yes
becky: ok
22 Aug 2023
04:23
becky: oh my god i cant sleepp
06:56
owen: Ah, did you manage to?
becky: i slept for an hour there.
becky: starting off mym onday like shit but i dont think i can go to class like this lmao
owen: Sorry to hear that
15:01
becky: im up again. jesus
becky: i really wish i wasnt stuck thinking about stuff all night so i could sleep like anomral person
15:56
owen: You should fix your sleep schedule before tomorrow
16:11
becky: you think im not trying
becky: is THAT what youre asking me? is there something wrong with anything?
16:32
owen: What?
becky: ah you didnt get that one
becky: no country for old men
owen: Ohh
becky: its a really funny scene honestly
becky: threatening a guy through a COIN. its so good.
23 Aug 2023
01:34
becky: are you still up?
01:44
owen: Unfortunately
becky: okay
becky: can i just ask you something
owen: Yeah?
becky: you know back in june?
becky: why the fuck did you email me?
01:56
becky: because i was sort of doing fine with myself and then i get you messaging every single day as a nice little 10 year shooting three people anniversary gift
becky: and i miss you if i have to be honest. ive missed you this long and you just. inserted yourself back in my life. and im honestly not happy about it.
becky: could you just explain that to me?
02:08
owen: Look, I don't think we should talk about this so late
owen: Can I get back to you tomorrow?
becky: no i dont want to talk about it tomorrow i want to talk about it now.
becky: you don’t get to do this to me ok
becky: i know i dont deserve anything but you don’t get to just undo all my efforts
becky: i dont want to be thestupid girl you text when your so normal guy friends dont force you out of your room
becky: i really cant live with this. i cant live with you on my mind owen i really cant
becky: do you think i dont have enough with my own thoughts. because every single day i really want to just kill myself owen i really wish i was fucking dead and im not gonna keep softening that for you
becky: its been ten years but my life is STILL ruined FOREVER and i have legitimately no reason to stay alive but here i fucking am!!!!
becky: i know im a piece of shit and i was a stupid as fuckedgelord kid and i alwaysthought you just HATED me so WHY, why are you doing this to me?? WHAT do you want from me???
becky: do you actually care about me at all????
02:19
becky: you know i can SEE when you read my messages right? i know youre not asleep.
02:27
becky: if you keep leaving me on read ill slit my wrists hows that for a cool shot
02:40
becky: owen i think about you day and night and i miss you so fucking much this is nothing texting is absolutely nothing compared to when we were best friends and i want to be able to pretend nothing ever happened iwant to watch movies and ride on a bike with you i miss you so much and i love you. im a poor excuse for everything i want to be. i want to be mad at you and i am beacuse youre being a selfish fucking asshole but i love your messages and i love that youre thinkingabout me. owen you are not happy and we both know it. i know im probably nothing youve ever dreamed of but i could show you so much more than your so called friend group of people who DONT understandyou. all i want is to help you be happy ill make sure we donthave to worry about anything at all you donthave to be alone because im here for you. i want you to like me i know im a disgusting freak and youdont even get my movies but i feel like a real person again because youre here and i just CANT i cant do this if youre not going to do it too okay? and i promise i will do everything and anything for you if you jsut let me love you again owen ill be your girlfriend or your friend ill be matt do you want me to be matt you can set the scene and ill do anything to make it worth it just please pleqse please dont do this to me
02:51
becky: CAN YOU STOPFUCKGIN LEAVING ME ON READ???
becky: OH MY GOD JUST SAY SOMETHINNGF
becky: ANYTHING
31 Aug 2023
23:48
owen: Okay look I know it’s been a whole fucking week and I really really shouldn’t be showing my face like this but you’re not wrong. Because I would like that. I would like all of that very much. But you understand we can’t, right? We can’t act like nothing ever happened I’m sure you know that even better than me but you’re not the only one who’s clinically traumatized and being around you I’m myself again and I also don’t think I can ever say yes because I am scared of you. You love me but I think I dont get the way you love me. And we’re not kids anymore we don’t have any excuse anymore and I don’t want to have to risk everything that I finally have. I don’t want to have to do this. I wish there was a place where this were a possiblity but my biggest fear is confirming that that place only exists in your perspective of the world because I’ve been in it and I’ve been in the real world and I don’t think I feel okay in either place Becky I really wish the real world could have you in it. I’m sorry
[!] This message was not delivered.
23:58
owen: Hello, I'm sorry for not responding. I really don’t know what to say. I did originally want something from you, but I didn’t think it through. I fucked up and I shouldn't have talked to you at all. I hope I have not troubled you as much as you insist I did.
[!] This message was not delivered.
01 Sep 2023
00:03
owen: Hi, Matt, can you please call me if you get this?
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