Archive of Our Own

He stares at his phone screen, rereading the message over and over. And each time, the words don’t change. There aren't many of them, just a short “come over tonight?”.

He rolls his eyes, wondering why the question mark is even there. He knows the text isn’t an invitation, it's a demand. One that's been sent because his boyfriend wants to see him, finally, after days of silence. 

Gemini shakes his head, little droplets of water that cling to his towel-dried hair flicker onto the screen as he locks it. 

He feels kind of numb despite the fact his shower had been scorching. The rush of hot water had done nothing to ease the ache in his body. Chest tight from holding in the resentment—for his boyfriend that treats him like an after-thought, and for himself for being at Yan’s beck and call, for letting himself be disrespected over and over. 

His shoulders are tight too, from waiting around anxiously all day after getting the message this morning—the one he knew would inevitably come. And here it is, in all its glory. Three pathetic words, because apparently, that’s all Gemini is worth.

His hips ache from where he’d prepped, knowing damn well what Yan wants—Gemini’s attention and body for a few hours before he has something better to do. 

Something, or someone, Gemini’s sure. He’s sure because he’s seen the same names popping up on Yan’s screen more than just a few times. He’s seen the same suspicion smirk on Yan’s face as he types out his replies enough times to know what he’s doing. Who he’s doing.

He feels numb—and so, at this point, he can’t bring himself to care.

So, yes, Gemini knows there’s only one reason Yan ever wants to see him. But if he’s being honest, Gemini wants it too. It’d been a while, and his own fingers just weren’t cutting it anymore. God, he hates to admit it, but he just wants to be touched. Yan isn’t even good at fucking him. He just takes what he wants, as quickly as he wants, and sends Gemini on his way back out of the front door. 

But Gemini is a healthy guy in his mid-twenties. He has needs. He can’t help it. He can’t help that he has his own hand wrapped around himself pretty much every night, fucking up into his fist, his other hand playing with his chest.

He tries to be quiet, he really, really, does. But—again, if he’s being honest—having to whimper into his pillow so his roommate doesn’t hear his dirty, whiny moans sends a rush of excitement through him that he can’t bring himself to be ashamed of. 

He imagines being caught. Imagines the awe and need swirling around dark, dragon eyes. The rush of blood racing around the other boy’s body, all because of him. 

Gemini can see, as clear as day and in his wildest fantasies, the spread of fire across his roommate’s strong chest and thick thighs. He can feel his big hands on him. He can taste him on his tongue like popping candy. He can see his pretty, constellation-freckled face, moaning Gemini’s name as he comes undone above him. 

Fuck, Gemini thinks about it a lot. Thinks about him so much.

But that’s something that’s off limits, something he can’t have. His university friend, the friend his mae always asks about when they call on the weekends, and now, his roommate. 

So, Gemini, he takes what he can get, even if it’s a miserable, pathetic downgrade to what he wants. 

Because, that's what it all boils down to—want. Gemini wants to be wanted, even if it is only for a little while. Is that so bad? Does that make him shallow? Because he feels it. He feels like the lightless ocean floor at the bottom of the Marina Trench as he slips out of his bedroom door.

He tip-toes down the hall towards the apartment’s entrance—or exit, depends if you're an optimist or a pessimist—like a criminal escaping his prison cell. 

Gemini pulls his phone out, turning the screen brightness all the way down before opening the Grab app. His thumb hovers over the order button. But, he hesitates, biting his lip. He looks over his shoulder, eyes glancing to the small strip of warm light that billows from under his roommate’s bedroom door. 

A pang of guilt hits him in his tummy. 

I should tell him I’m going out. 

He’ll only get mad at me, though—he’ll know where I’m going at this hour.

I’ll be back before he even notices I’m gone.

Maybe I shouldn’t go after all…

He looks back at his phone, sighing deeply. 

Who am I kidding?

His thumb hits ‘order’. The guilt settles deeper. A driver is assigned to him almost immediately. He—

“—Cancel it.”

Gemini flinches, eyes shooting up towards the dark kitchen. Fourth stands there, arms crossed. The glow of the moon trickling past the stormclouds outside flickers in his eyes like white-hot lightning. Gemini sucks in a breath, quickly hitting cancel on the app.

“Fucking hell, Fourth, you scared me!” He huffs, placing his phone face down on the kitchen table. “Why are you standing in the dark?”

Fourth just stares, unsettling and unravelling every one of Gemini’s seams. He places his half eaten apple down on the counter.

“Some of us eat our fruit and vegetables, Norawit. I don’t need the light on to see where I’m going.” Gemini rolls his eyes at Fourth’s icy tone. “Speaking of… Where are you going?”

Heat spikes down Gemini’s spine and across his skin, goose bumps blemish there under Fourth’s watchful accusation. The question is rhetorical, Gemini knows that Fourth knows the answer to the question. But he lies anyway. 

“I just… For a walk?”

Fourth cocks his head to the side, his gaze lazy as he looks out of the window at the pitch black sky and the rain that pelts down. Heavy gales slam into the frangipani trees outside, whistling through their leaves like a siren’s song. One that was calling out to Gemini, apparently. 

He looks back at Gemini, eyes still electric. “He’s making you go to his house, alone, in this weather? At this time of night?”

“He’s… He’s picking me up—”

“—No he isn’t, Gemini. He never does.” 

Gemini almost cowers. Embarrassment filling his cheeks with a deep red. He leans back against the wall, shoulders sagging under the weight of his own shallow shame. “That’s not true, Fourth. He has before. He—” 

Footsteps ring around the night-cast room, heavy and walked with purpose. Gemini looks up quickly, a gasp catching high in his throat when he finds Fourth only a breath away. 

The heat in Fourth’s eyes is palpable, raging and setting ablaze to everything in the small space of their kitchen, scorching the even smaller space that's left between their bodies. 

Fourth looks at Gemini for a moment that seems to last forever. His face is set like stern stone, moulding Gemini into something like a statue, frozen and timeless. 

Gemini lets out a shaky breath when Fourth tips his head back, looking down at him even as he stands a few inches shorter than the older boy. 

“Phi, why do you keep letting him treat you like this?” 

Gemini swallows, tasting the sweet apple on his own tongue when Fourth speaks. He pushes back into the wall, trying to put some space between them. But Fourth is inescapable—pulling Gemini into his orbit like the sun does the moon.

“Treat me like what?”

“Like you’re unimportant.” Fourth’s reply is instant, as if it's been sitting on the tip of his tongue for a while, begging to be announced. It floods over Gemini like boiling water spills over the lip of a cooking pot, hissing and threatening to extinguish the fire between them. 

“He—”

“—He tells you to come over whenever he feels like it, makes you go to him alone in the dark and the rain instead of getting you himself. Lets you get on the back of a stranger’s bike—”

“—It’s a Grab, Natt, not a stranger—”

“—My point still stands, phi.” Fourth’s voice is harsh, but it still wraps around Gemini like velvet. His hand curls around Gemini’s wrist, fingers coming to rest over the boy’s sweltering pulse. And Gemini flinches at the touch, feels the burn of it cascade over him like an avalanche. He can only hold Fourth’s magma stare for a few seconds before he dares to look down at where he’s held captive.

“He’s not here when he should be, phi.” ‘He’s not here like I am,’ Fourth wants to say. “He should pick you up. He should take you out on dates. He should introduce you to his friends, not keep you hidden like some sort of dirty secret.”

Gemini’s eyes scrunch closed. Everything Fourth is saying is true, he knows it is. It’s nothing he hasn’t told himself a million times before. The shame in his gut swirls, mirroring the monsoon outside. He bites his lip, holding back the ashamed tears that threaten to start pooling across his already glassy eyes. 

“He’s… He’s a casual guy, Fourth. You wouldn’t get it.”

“You’re right, I don’t get it.” Fourth’s hold on Gemini’s wrist tightens—his thumb brushes crescent moons on his palm. “I don’t get how he can treat you like you’re something replaceable, someone that isn’t so special. So, no, I don’t get it. And I don’t understand why you let someone like him treat someone like you this way.”

Gemini’s eyes flicker up. He looks at Fourth through his lashes, blinking back the shy tears there to envision the admission in Fourth’s iris. “...Someone like me?”

“Yeah. Someone like you, P’Nora. Someone who deserves to be adored.” Gemini’s heart slams into his ribcage. “All you do is think about everyone else. About him. All you do is love him—”

“—I do not love him.” 

The words fall out of Gemini’s mouth like a branding. The harsh truth cracks the equilibrium of the tension-heavy air that's settled around them. Confessing what he’s always known deep down lifts a weight off of his shoulders that Gemini didn’t realise he’d been carrying. 

He doesn’t love his boyfriend.

Not even after a year of being together—a year of putting up with him—and it feels good to admit it. Feels even better to tell the truth to Fourth.

Fourth’s fingers stop their movements on Gemini’s palm. His eyes dart between Gemini’s, trying to make sense of the words. 

“You don’t love him?” Gemini shakes his head quietly. “Then why, Gem? Why do you let him walk all over you? Why do you let him have you?”

Gemini doesn’t answer. Can’t answer. He simply looks away to the half-eaten apple, then out of the window and into the storm. If this night, this weather, were personified, it’d be like Gemini were looking into a mirror—miserable and turbulent. 

The silence drags on until Fourth drags him out of it, figuratively and literally. He pulls on Gemini’s wrist, bringing his body away from the wall, bringing him flush against his own smaller, wider one. 

“Did he threaten you?” Fourth’s voice is a glacier, cold and heavy. “I’ll fucking kill him—”

“—No! Natt, he didn’t.”

“Is he blackmailing you?”

“No!” Gemini huffs, trying to retreat to the safe haven of the wall again—unsucessfully. Fourth’s body is flat against his, and Gemini can feel his heart smacking against his own. “He’s… He’s an asshole, but he’s not that much of an asshole.”

“So why?” Fourth almost pleads, staring at the boy he cages against the wall.

“I don’t…” Gemini searches the walls of the kitchen as if he’ll find the answers to Fourth’s question there. When it comes up null, he stares at the ground, blurting the words out that scrap at his gums as if they’re coated in thorns. 

“He’s my first boyfriend. My first, Fourth, at twenty-four…” He shakes his head. “God, I felt like such a loser seeing you and Pakin and Pahn all meeting people and I was… I felt like I was falling behind so I just… I knew he wasn’t the best from the start, but I just put up with him. Having half of someone… Having someone that wants me, even if it's only sometimes… It’s better than having no one at all, you know?”

The room sits in silence, the quiet greets Gemini like an old acquaintance, one that he doesn’t quite know anymore, doesn’t know what to say to them—making him feel uneasy, turbulence rattling in his tummy. 

When he looks back up at Fourth, it's devastating. Fourth looks broken, face flushed and his eyes—usually bright and playful—are dull. He looks hallowed, like the inside of a seashell, iridescent and beautiful, but empty. 

Fourth lets go of Gemini’s wrist slowly, and Gemini feels the ghost of his touch even after Fourth has taken a few steps back. 

“Is that how you really feel, phi? How you’ve felt all this time?” Gemini nods quietly. Fourth sighs, replying with his own sad nod. “Are you still going to go to him?”

“Do you want me to go?” Gemini’s voice is small, words said like a prayer, begging for forgiveness.

Fourth shakes his head, eyes pleading and reverent. “I never want you to go to him.” 

The moment between them goes back to lasting forever. Everything halts—the universe creates its own little pocket of time and space just for them there in their tiny kitchen. Supernovas burst, galaxies glitter and stars die, everything disappears in a flash, sucked into the black hole sitting between them when Fourth looks away from where he’d held Gemini’s gaze.  

“Call him, let him know I’ll bring you over.” 

“You don’t have to—”

“Just—” Fourth looks over his shoulder, pinning Gemini against the wall he’d craved minutes ago, but now, it feels like a cage. “I’ll take you to him.”

He doesn’t wait for Gemini’s reply before he walks to his room, words tasting like acid on his tongue.

He’s only gone for a few minutes. He takes his time throwing on jeans and a jacket, giving Gemini time to call his stupid, ugly, annoying, disrespectful, stupid, lanky, stupid boyfriend. The word, boyfriend, it makes him feel sick. 

He’s about to walk back to the kitchen, but he stops for a second, eyes catching on the photo in the frame that sits next to his bed. Him and Gemini, adorned in graduation capes, arms around each other, smiles impossibly wide as they look at one another with triumphant, glittering smiles. 

God, he’s been in love for years. Probably ever since that first day they’d met on campus, if Fourth is being honest. 

He remembers it as if it were yesterday. Gemini sitting alone in the back row of Economics, head ducked and cheeks a shy pink. Their eyes had met over the sea of people in the lecture hall, and Gemini’s had burned with something hopeful, something that said ‘please sit with me…’. And so, Fourth did, of course—the moon caught in the sun’s orbit. Gemini has had Fourth wrapped around his finger ever since, absolutely. Hook, line, and sinker. 

He grabs another puffer jacket from the back of his door before he makes his way into the kitchen.

“Wear this,” Fourth says, handing the jacket to Gemini who is staring at his locked phone screen. “It’s raining, you’ll catch a cold if you go out in just that.” 

That—Jeans and a baggy top, cotton that drenches Gemini’s slender frame like a rainstorm. When Gemini doesn’t answer, doesn’t take the jacket from Fourth’s outstretched hand, he looks up at the boy, taking the sight of him in properly. Anger-blushed cheeks, tiny little beads of wet clinging to his waterline, his lips—usually full and plump in a pretty smile—are already bitten raw, pulled into a scowl. 

“Gem? You okay? Did something happen?”

A sad sigh leaves Gemini, one that sends a spike of something vicious down Fourth’s spine. “He said he forgot he invited me over, said he was tired and was going to sleep soon.” 

“What?”

“But I’m sure I heard someone else there…”

Fourth’s jaw tightens, teeth grinding together where he tries to stay as composed as possible.

“Fucking asshole—”

“—Can you still give me a ride?”

When he looks at Gemini, he sees a sad sort of defeat swirling in his iris. He looks sad, miserable, like all of his pride has split across the floor that he stares at. Fourth can’t help the anger that swells in his gut.

“You’re still going to go to him?” Gemini stays quiet, fiddling with the charm that daggles from his phone case. “Jesus, Nora, do you have no self respect left? He’s—”

“—Please.” The word is tiny as its whispers, but the weight of it almost crushes Fourth, as if the gravity inside the room had tripled, his bones and resolve crumbling under Gemini’s quiet, broken plea. “I won’t ask you for anything ever again.”

Gemini looks up slowly. The stars in the sky have vanished, evicted by the storm, blown down to earth to make a watery home in his eyes. And Fourth drowns in the abyss.

“Of course,” he sighs, handing the jacket to Gemini. And this time, Gemini takes it. “You know I’d do anything you asked.”

Bangkok sails past them, all neon lights, advertising billboards, and tangled, amalgamated electricity wires above them like spun spiderwebs. But, it’s hard to see any of it past the rain. Gemini keeps his head lowered, the front of his helmet resting against Fourth’s nape, letting the younger boy drive him. He doesn’t look around, doesn’t watch the road, he just trusts Fourth—with his life, it seems.

Gemini’s heart stays neutral whenever there is a bump or a small skid, whenever the wind thrashes against them a little too hard. His heart does skip, though, each time Fourth’s hand travels up to his that’s perched on his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze, telling him ‘It’s fine, I’ve got you.’

The drive, which usually feels like a ten-mile long walk down death row in Gemini’s stomach and consciousness, seems to sprint by in a few mere minutes when his chest is pressed against Fourth’s back, when he plays passenger princess on-top of Fourth’s Kawasaki. 

Yan’s house pulls into their view, lights on, music spilling past the open windows. 

Gemini sighs as he climbs off of the bike, feet unsteady as he plants them on the sodden floor. The rain has relaxed a little, ‘that's a bonus, at least’ Gemini thinks as he unclips the buckle of his helmet, taking it off and pressing it into Fourth’s out-stretched hand. 

“You gonna be okay?” Fourth asks, muffled from his own helmet. Gemini can only really see his eyes, sparkling in that way they usually do when their gazes meet, overflowing with gossamer, as if his iris encapsulate the moon’s entire glow. 

Gemini nods, a small, shy smile spreading across his face. “Can you wait for me?”

Fourth blinks, perplexed and a little caught off guard, if the hitch in his throat is evidence of anything. 

“Wait? For you?” Gemini nods, looking at him through his lashes. The hitch in Fourth’s throat tightens. “Of course. I’ll wait for you, phi. Always.” 

They hold stares for a few moments, seconds that feel heavy and suffocating. Seconds that say more than they ever could, that yearn to last forever. But they can't, because nothing does—last forever. 

Gemini gives a soft tap to the cheek of Fourth’s helmet before he turns, walking down the path and through the front door of the house without knocking. 

Fourth shuts the engine of the bike off, breathing quietly inside of his helmet, trying his best to listen for any single sound. But all there is is blasting music from inside of the house. 

Time drags along as if an anchor were tied to its ankles, every second that passes adds another log to the anxious fire stoking in his chest. 

The music suddenly stopping sends the fire into an inferno. It's only a few seconds later that the door swings open, and Gemini is making his way back to Fourth. Beside the heated cheeks and the backpack thrown askew over his shoulder, Gemini still looks calm, collected. The moon trickles over him, adding to the serene. Making him shine like someone iridescent, like a hidden pearl entrapped in the gloom of the situation he’s in. 

“Gem, I’m sorry, babe. This is a one time thing, I swear!”

The voice filters into Fourth’s peripheral hearing. He leans forward on his bike, looking past Gemini’s striding body, and there he is—Yan. In all his ‘glory’. Naked from the waist up, the evidence of company tarnished on his neck in the form of red lipstick. 

Fourth doesn’t even flinch when Yan’s gaze locks on his. He smiles, sweetly, booting up the engine of the bike as Gemini approaches. 

“Okay. I get it, you just gonna run off with your other little boyfriend?” Yan yells, “Fucking slut.” 

Oh, and that makes Fourth seethe. Makes his blood turn molten. 

He’s about to swing his leg over his bike, about to rage like a storm over to the prick that just called Gemini—his Gemini, the boy that is a mosaic of every kind, pretty, positive thing in the world—a slut. He’s about to beat Yan’s fucking face in until he can’t use that stupid, ugly mouth for anything except for grovelling for Gemini’s forgiveness. 

But then, there's arms around his waist, tight and pleading as Gemini hooks his chin over Fourth’s shoulder. And he knows, if he didn’t have his helmet on, he’d feel lips at his ear as Gemini cascades the words ‘Take me home, nong. Please.’ into all of his senses.

His mind clears, the engine of the bike roars to life, and after he’s thrown Yan a middle finger, feeling triumphant at having Gemini wrapped around him—coming home with him—he pulls off into the night, leaving a trail of exhaust smoke and victory in his wake.

The door is barely closed before Fourth’s voice fills the apartment. 

“That fucking asshole. Absoulute fucking prick. Who does he think he is? I know he was a cunt but this is another level.” He kicks off his shoes, leaving them wayward next to Gemini’s neatly set ones. “I swear to God, he’s lucky you made me bring you home because—”

“Because what?” Gemini says. His voice is steady, controlled, nothing like the seething shout Fourth had just let out. “What were you gonna do, nong?”

“I was gonna… I mean…” Fourth watches Gemini hop onto the kitchen counter next to the discarded apple. “I wanted to kill him.”

“Why?”

The question catches Fourth off guard. He looks at Gemini, his legs are crossed, headed tilted to the side as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. As if he didn’t just end a year long relationship because he’d walked in on his boyfriend cheating. 

“Why are you so angry, Natt?”

“Because,” Fourth walks into the kitchen, coming to stand in front of Gemini. “He’s an asshole. I hate that he’s hurt you.”

“Do I look hurt?” Gemini says, eyes sparkling as the storm picks up again past the window behind him. “Do I look upset?” 

Fourth studies Gemini’s face, his relaxed posture, the soft smile on his lips. “No… No, I suppose you don’t. But… I know you, Gem. You’re my best friend, and I know this is going to upset you once the shock has passed.”

A moment skips between them, heavy and laced in something unspoken. Gemini leans forward. “I’m your best friend?”

A spike of adrenaline shoots through Fourth, spreading like thunder in his tummy. Gemini is so close, so close that Fourth can almost taste his words in his own mouth. 

“Yeah, of course you are, phi.”

Gemini blinks, nods, and then, his legs uncross in tandem with his hand coming to sit on Fourth’s shoulder, just as it had done earlier when they were on the bike. Fourth sucks in a breath, taking a step closer into the space between Gemini’s thighs, almost unconsciously, as if pulled in by a siren’s song. 

“Is that it? Is that all I am to you?”

“Phi—”

“—I think you’re lying, nong.” Gemini’s hand travels slowly, finger tips brushing against Fourth’s nape, collecting the wayward drops of rain from his skin. It makes Fourth shudder. “You’re not just my best friend.”

Fourth swallows, “I… I know… I know Mark is—”

“—I know that you know what I’m trying to say, Natt.” 

“Phi, you’re…” he shakes his head. “You’re not thinking straight. You just left Yan and—”

“I told you I never loved him.” Gemini’s fingers spread into the base of Fourth’s hair, twirling the locks, pulling ever so slightly. “He was just a filler. A replacement for what I wanted but didn’t think I could have.” 

Gemini’s eyes shine as he breathes the admission. His gaze unwavering as it locks with Fourth’s. Fourth looks between Gemini’s eyes and all he sees is truth. He sees iris’ the shape of hearts and feels Gemini’s body against his. 

He hears words that threaten to tear apart their entire relationship. But, it isn’t scary, not as scary as Fourth thought this moment would be when he let himself dream of it. Instead of tearing, destroying, it feels more like unwrapping a gift, one that's been on Fourth’s wishlist for as long as he can remember. Something he’s longed for. 

“What did you think you couldn’t have, phi?” He asks, leaning in until his face is just a breath away from Gemini’s. “What do you want?”

Gemini stills, sucking in a breath, as if the weight of the situation had come to sit on his chest, restricting his heart that batters inside of his ribcage. His fingers stiffen in Fourth’s hair, thighs pressing tighter around the younger man’s hips. His blinks are rushed, lashes fanning across his cheeks as he swallows. 

Fourth is already so close, apple-scented and all consuming, but somehow, he moves closer. His chest presses against Gemini’s, and Gemini can feel Fourth’s heart thrashing in tandem with his own, beating together to create their own anticipating melody.

“Tell me what you want, P’Nora,” Fourth whispers, words watery and begging. “Please.”

Gemini leans in—hand cupping Fourth’s cheek—and replies with a kiss. Just a soft, small press of his lips against Fourth’s trembling ones. It’s nothing massive, doesn’t stop the earth from turning. The tempest outside still rages, the frangipani trees still blister in the gales.

But there, in their small kitchen, Fourth feels his chest implode, brain chemistry rewiring when Gemini leans back in to kiss him again. 

A small whine catches in Gemini’s throat, and its Fourth’s unraveling. His arms wind around Gemini’s small waist, pulling the man flush against him. Gemini hums against his lips, hands travelling down Fourth’s back, fingers tangling into the cotton of his half-sodden shirt.

Gemini can’t get close enough, his ankles lock behind Fourth’s back, trapping the boy in his hold—exactly where Fourth wants to be—moving their bodies together in sync. 

Everything heats up, the kitchen is ablaze with soft whimpers and shy rolls of hips. Fourth’s hand travels, fingers skimming the waist band of Gemini’s trousers, pulling a needy groan from the boy against him. 

“Fourth…” His breath is shallow, words weighted with need. “Please.”

“Please what?” Fourth whispers against his mouth. “You didn’t tell me what you want yet.” 

“Is this not enough?” Gemini whines, rolling his hips against Fourth’s again. And Fourth feels how hard he is already.

“No.” Fourth’s fingers tug on Gemini’s belt, anchoring him to this moment, holding him, and his resolve that threatens to break, down. “Need your words, Gem. Need to know you actually want this.”

Gemini leans back slowly, lips already a swollen, flushed rose. Fourth’s breath catches in his throat when he sees the evidence of himself there on Gemini.

“Of course I want this, nong.” He breathes, eyes sparkling with little starry tears.

“You’re not just…” Fourth swallows, eyes diverting to where Gemini is snug in his lap. “I don’t want you to regret this. You’ve just broken up with him and—”

“—This.” Gemini whispers, arms tightening around Fourth’s neck as he places another kiss onto his lips. “This is all I’ve ever wanted.”

And Fourth’s resolve snaps. He rushes in, pressing a searing kiss onto Gemini’s lips, one that’s molten and melds them together. Gemini lets himself be swept away, figuratively and literally as Fourth lifts him from the counter top, arms steady and strong under his thighs as he carries him out of the kitchen. 

When Fourth kicks open his bedroom door, the room is lit in warm gold from the lamp that pools light over every surface, gleaming down onto the photo in the frame next to it.

He places Gemini down gently onto the bed, wasting no time to climb over him, slotting back in between Gemini’s thighs, both of them finding their rhythm again as their hips roll and their hands explore lands they’ve always wanted to travel to.

Gemini bucks up against Fourth when lips find his neck. Fourth is there, blooming gentle bouquets of bruised peonies and wisteria into his skin, marking and branding Gemini as his. Finally.

Gemini’s back arches off the bed, head thrown into the pillow to give Fourth more access to his body. 

“How do you want to do this?” He whispers. 

Fourth doesn’t stop kissing him, moving from his neck to his collarbones, pulling the hem of his baggy t-shirt down to litter his chest in rose-pink love. 

“Just lay there and relax, phi,” Fourth whispers against Gemini’s pounding heart. “Let me take care of you. Wanna show you what you deserve.” 

Gemini’s clothes come off quickly, but of course, Fourth is gentle, removing the denim and cotton as if he were unravelling the secrets of the universe. His hands are everywhere, feeling Gemini alive and strung like a bow string under his touch.

Fourth’s mouth is back in the crook of Gemini’s neck, teeth nipping at his earlobe when he says ‘Can I open you up? Is that okay?’

Gemini flushes red, nodding, Fourth’s voice is velvety and laced in innocence, but his words are filth. 

“I won’t need much.” He says, voice honeysuckle, “I opened myself up earlier.” 

Fourth looks over his shoulder from where he’d been grabbing for the lube in his top drawer. He towers over Gemini, and Gemini sees a flash of something dark swirl in Fourth eyes when he leans back over him, capturing him in a kiss that sears. 

“He never deserved you,” he says against Gemini’s mouth. “None of you. Not your time, nor your attention.” His wet fingers walk down Gemini’s stomach, tiptoeing their way to between his spread thighs. “Didn’t deserve to hear your voice or your laughter.” His fingers push into Gemini slowly, two settling deep inside with ease. “Didn’t deserve to touch you like this.” 

Gemini moans, deep and whiny when Fourth spreads his fingers. He moves down onto the digits, taking them fully. His lips find Fourth’s again, his hand plants on Fourth’s shoulder, using it to leverage himself to rock down deeper. 

“All yours,” Gemini whimpers. “Always yours, Natt.”

Fourth nods, because he’s lost for words, almost unbelieving the situation he’s in. Gemini kissing him, Gemini around him, Gemini promising him forever. His head is empty apart from Gemini’s voice, Gemini’s heated body, Gemini’s hands on his skin. Everything is consumed by Gemini, Gemini, Gemini.

“So beautiful, baby.” Fourth sighs when he adds a third finger. And Gemini can’t even reply, too lost in the lavender-cloudy place that Fourth’s fingers against his prostate have sent him to. He mumbles, whines, rocks down harder. 

His hands wrap around Fourth’s wrist after a minute when he feels heat building in his gut, halting the boy’s movements. 

“I’m gonna come if you don’t stop.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Fourth smirks above him.

“Yeah, but…” Gemini’s eyes dart to the wall, only for Fourth’s free hand to cup his jaw, bringing their gazes back together.

“But what?”

“But… I wanna come while you fuck me, nong.” 

Fourth’s head dips to rest against Gemini’s collar bones, sucking in the skin there to paint it red. “Fuck, phi, you’re gonna be the death of me.” 

Gemini whimpers at the empty feeling left behind when Fourth gently pulls his fingers out. But he’s only there in that solitary place for a minute. Fourth rids his clothes, dropping them down onto the floor in a pile to marry with Gemini’s. He slicks himself up, all the while peppering Gemini’s chest and nipples and neck in kisses. 

“Gonna fuck you now, phi. Okay?” 

Gemini preens, back arching, his bruise and sweat soaked chest pressing against Fourth’s as he pulls him in. “Please. Please. Want you so bad. Please, fuck me.”

Fourth doesn’t need to be told twice. He lines himself up, hand spread across Gemini’s thigh, holding it down into the mattress as he slowly pushes in. 

He watches every flicker of want, need, pain, happiness, strain, long awaited satisfaction spread across Gemini’s face. Listens to every hiss and moan and cry of his name in Gemini’s voice until he’s snug and buried inside of the boy below him. 

“Fuck.” Gemini moans, eyes glistening and dilated. “Feel so full.”

“You are, baby.” Fourth presses a kiss onto his agape mouth. “Take me so well. Feel so fucking good already and I haven’t even moved.”

Gemini nods into the kiss, wiggling just a little to accommodate Fourth's size, soaking up every inch and letting Fourth know how good he feels with every little whimper he lets out. 

The first, cautious rock of Fourth inside of him is bliss. Lightning fizzles around his body, burning him from the inside out, setting him alight and warming his skin golden.

“Again,” he begs. “Move, Fourth.”

So, Fourth does. He fucks into Gemini, capturing all the air from his lungs and pushing out another loud moan that Fourth can already feel himself getting addicted to. Gemini is so tight around him, searing hot and so willing. They kiss like it's the last thing they’ll ever do. All lapping tongues and teeth clinking. 

“Fourth—shit, nong—fuck, please. Harder.”

“I’ve got you, baby.” Fourth mumbles against Gemini’s mouth, fucking forward deeper, pushing Gemini onto his cock and into the mattress. 

And Gemini can’t help the wail he lets out, cock trapped between his own tummy and Fourth’s, Fourth’s words swirling around his bliss-empty head like smoke. 

“So fucking good for me, phi. You’re everything, Nora.”

Gemini whimpers, that familiar feeling building in his stomach, like electricity sparking and fireworks readying to bloom. He lifts his hips, changing the angle to take Fourth deeper. His arms tremble around Fourth’s wide shoulders. He feeds him watery ‘Fuck. Nong. Baby. Fourth’’s, letting the words trickle down the younger man’s throat where he moans against his mouth.

Fourth’s hands tighten in Gemini’s hair, pulling his head back so he can whisper into his ear as he smacks forward, forward, forward.

“That’s it, baby.

Keep going.

You’re nearly there.

Let go for me.

So pretty when you cry.”

“Fourth… I’m… Fuck, I’m gonna—” 

Tears stream down his flushed cheeks, stars pop behind his eyes, blinding white light igniting as he comes undone. Fourth kisses him, pushing praise into his skin, talking him through it as Gemini falls apart beneath him. 

He stops moving after a few more shallow thrusts, letting Gemini catch his breath. Gemini lays below him, eyes scrunched closed and cheeks the prettiest shade of princess-pink. Fourth kisses them, then his nose, then his lust-soaked lashes.

“You okay, phi?”

It takes a second before Gemini nods, before he opens his eyes and looks up at Fourth. And it's blinding. He’s so fucked out that Fourth can’t even see the brown of his iris—they’re hidden behind Gemini’s fully dilated pupils. Gemini’s bunny teeth sink into his bottom lip and he lets out a little huff. His whole body tightens around where he and Fourth are connected, and Fourth nearly comes undone at the feeling. He can’t help it when his cock twitches inside of Gemini, sending a little spike of overstimulation through his spent body. 

“Shit, sorry—”

“—You didn’t…” Gemini looks up at him, bambi eyes watery and shy. “Did you not like it?”

Fourth shakes his head. “I loved it, phi. I loved it. So much.” He leans down, pushing a kiss onto Gemini’s swollen lips. “I was just concentrating on making you feel good.”

Gemini hums, nodding, his black locks fanning out against white cotton pillow like starlight. “You made me feel very good.” 

Against his stomach, he feels Gemini’s cock twitch. He looks between their bodies, their tummies are glossed in come, and Gemini is hard. Again. Already. 

“How are you still hard?” He whispers, eyes locked on where they’re connected.

“You’re just too good, nong.” He laughs again, pulling Fourth into a kiss. 

Their tongues meet, soft and pliant for each other. Fourth rocks forward again, and Gemini hisses. 

“Sorry, phi. I—”

“—Can I fuck you, Natt?”

Fourth gasps, eyes widening as he digests the words. Gemini can’t hide the smirk that travels across his plush lips.

“Do you like getting fucked? Or just fucking? Because I can make you come. I want to make you come.”

Fourth has never agreed to something quicker in his life. 

Fourth slips out of him gently, watching a recipe of lube and pre-come slip out of Gemini and down his thighs. He swallows at the sight—nearly dies when Gemini’s flingers slip inside of where he’d just been. 

He pumps himself slowly, and when he brings his fingers back out, their slick with the same lube that Fourth had just used to fuck him. His fingers travel through his own come, collecting it and using it to slowly slick his still-hard cock.

His eyes never leave Fourth’s, putting on a show, drowning in the wide-eyed, red-cheeked look on Fourth’s face as the boy above him watches. It sends him dizzy, being seen like this. Being confident enough to be dirty, to be a slut and have greedy, wanting eyes on him.

“How do you want to do it?” He asks, the question a ghost from earlier on in the night. 

Fourth swallows, eyes dragging up Gemini’s body to meet him molten gaze.

“Could… Could I ride you?”

Gemini’s hand falters, his own eyes flying open, biting his lip again. “You don’t want me to—”

“—I told you, phi. You just need to lay there and feel good.” Fourth whispers, hands cupping Gemini’s chest. “Let me do all the work. Let me use you.”

And Gemini is a goner. He nods with enthusiasm, patting his hips, sending Fourth a well-received invitation. 

Fourth moves from between his thighs to over them in a second. He looks over his shoulder, lining himself up and—

“—I need to prep you.” Gemini says quickly, his hands on Fourth’s hips keeping him still.

Fourth looks back at him, a smirk playing across his lips and eyes. “You’re not the only one that had fun alone earlier.”

Gemini’s cock twitches, catching on Fourth’s rim. They hiss in tandem; the anticipation of having Gemini inside of him spikes in Fourth’s tummy. 

“I heard you, phi. I couldn’t help myself.”

“You heard me?” Gemini gasps, nails digging into Fourth’s hips.

“Don’t act like you didn’t want me to.”

Before Gemini can answer, Fourth is pushing down onto his ready and waiting cock. 

The stretch burns, white-hot, but the sound of Gemini’s heady, breathy gasps soothes Fourth like aloe vera does to sun burns. 

“Take—fuck, nong—take your time, love.” Gemini whispers, eyes wide as he looks up at Fourth. 

“I’m good. Fuck, I’m so good, Nora.” Fourth whines, taking all of Gemini inside of him until he’s flush against his body. 

The rain pelts against the window above them in the same tempo as their hearts. They stare at each other, gasping and tasting the remnants of their kisses on the heady air around them.

Fourth looks so beautiful above him, Gemini thinks. All tanned skin and sculptured muscle. His hair falls in his eyes where he’s leaning forward, hands against Gemini’s heaving chest. Gemini leans up on his elbows, slowly pushing the strands of locks behind Fourth’s ears. Fourth looks at him past his lashes, face nuzzling into Gemini’s hand on his cheek. He plants a kiss on his palm, and then, he gives a tentative roll of his hips. 

Gemini chokes, dropping back down onto the mattress. Because Fourth is tight. He’s hot and pliant and he’s all his. He’s Gemini’s Fourth. And he can’t take his eyes off of him—Fourth, who's giving deeper rocks now, rolling his hips and grinding down, taking what he wants from Gemini. He’s lost in the sticky, honey-warm whines that Fourth lets out as he uses him.

Fourth’s head tips back, eyes closing and moans falling over his body. He leans back, hands planting on Gemini’s bent knees, using them as leverage to start bouncing on his cock. The sight sends Gemini reeling, let alone the feeling.

“You’re so pretty like this, Natt. Using me so well.” Gemini whimpers, fingers pressing crescent moon shapes into Fourth’s constellation freckled skin. 

“Feel so good, phi. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He whines with every bounce. 

Fourth doesn’t stop moving. An army of men couldn’t stop him, not even the world shattering and falling into a black hole could drag him off of Gemini. He takes and takes and takes, chest pushed out, the heavy muscle there bouncing along with the rest of his body. Gemini’s hands move from his hips to cup his tits, thumbs pressing into Fourth’s nipples. And now, it’s Fourth’s turn to drown in the feeling building in the pit of his stomach. 

“I’m there, Gem,” he whimpers, the roll of his hips falling out of rhythm.

“Me too… You’re gonna make phi come again,” he gasps.

And it’s their undoing. Gemini’s hand moves to Fourth’s cock, wrapping around it, giving a few loose tugs, sending the boy above him—around him—over the edge. 

Fourth comes with something close to a scream. And Gemini follows, filling Fourth to brim with his unravelling and devotion.

The air around them settles, turning from electric and molten to something softer, sweeter, like magnolia petals and winter’s first snow fall, slipping from heated lust and into pillowy, warm love. 

Fourth’s arms find their way around Gemini’s body, pulling the spent boy into his side. He peppers kisses to his temple, breathing in his mint shampoo and that natural, sweet-vanilla scent that is just so Gemini.

Gemini nuzzles into it. Fourth’s bed sheets smell of him, filling his senses with lavender and something day-dreamy. 

Their heart rates settle, falling into a matching pace—into a gentle waltz from their previous heavy cresendos. 

Fourth’s hand is at Gemini’s cheek, cupping him and pulling their gazes to meet. Gemini is the first to lean in, pressing a syrupy kiss onto Fourth’s patiently-waiting lips. He feels him smile against his lips before he kisses him back. 

“I’ve never felt like that before.” Gemini whispers into the small space between their mouths, almost cross-eyed as he looks into Fourth’s. And he can see himself in Fourth’s iris—warped and silhouetted, but he can almost see his burning cheeks, his swollen lips. He can see the love in Fourth’s eyes, and he’s not sure if it’s Fourth’s or if it's his own. 

“You deserve to feel good, phi. You deserve to be loved… Worshipped.”

Gemini huffs a laugh, rolling onto his back, pulling the covers up higher to hide the shy blush cascading down his neck and chest. 

“Why didn’t you tell me how you felt? We could have been doing this so much sooner.”

Fourth sighs, eyes searching Gemini’s sedated profile. “I was scared. I never imagined you’d ever feel the same, and I didn’t want to risk losing you completely, phi. You’re too important to me.” He brings Gemini’s face to meet his gaze again. “You’re everything to me.”

Gemini bites his lip, eyes flicking up to the photo on Fourth’s nightstand. He sees the memory of them, feels that same spike of happiness and comfort in his tummy that he’d felt when he’d first met Fourth in that stuffy, busy, lonely lecture room. 

When he looks back at Fourth now, he sees love. He sees someone who is his home. 

He kisses him slowly, pushing every word, every admission he’d been too scared to say against his lips. 

“Thank you for waiting for me.” He says softly. 

Fourth smiles, kissing Gemini’s right back. “I’d wait a thousand years for you. Anything for you, phi. Always.”