Work Text:
Don’t do it.
That was the phrase repeating in the poor doll’s mind while she sat in her bed trying to resist the urge to relapse.
Don’t do it.
But it’d be so easy.
Don’t think about it.
But who would care?
Pomni, she should get Pomni.
Pomni’s probably asleep.
Don’t do it.
Grab the sewing kit that you so love to abuse.
Don’t think about it.
Everyone is asleep.
She should see if Kinger is up. The loving man might just be awake… then again it was probably pretty late, everyone headed to their rooms a few hours ago.
They wouldn’t go away.
She didn’t know how to not think about it. She knows if she thinks about it she’ll give in… but the memory of that satisfying pressure. The sting after patching herself up where no one would see. She wanted to relish in the sensation but she promised herself she wouldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t even have a reason this time, she didn’t understand why the thought was lingering in her cotton filled head.
The more she felt herself caving in the more she considered finding someone to help.
Both would be so easy to do, she just had to do it. But she still sat there, mind swirling as always.
She didn’t understand.
She wanted to do it so badly why did she even care so much?
It shouldn’t matter.
So why was she so reluctant?
Ragatha’s breath hitched in a sudden rush of emotion and she huffed out a sob.
The dolly curled into herself, trying to stay quiet, the walls were thin and she didn’t want to wake anyone up just because she was having a hard time.
She carefully sucked in a shuddering breath only to break into a silent sobbing mess.
Her shoulders shook with each heave, bringing her hands up she rubbed her upper arms in a sad attempt to self-sooth. Though that didn’t seem to be working very well, her chest was tightening and the tears were getting thicker and she was being really pathetic right now.
A whine escaped the girl despite her trying her hardest to keep it together.
She really needed to calm down and go to sleep like a normal human being. if that’s even what she is anymore.
Her hands wiped at her face as she tried to force herself to calm down but that just seemed to make the flow of bitter tears fall faster. She hiccuped and decided to ride out the rest of her breakdown, hoping that she’d exhaust herself enough to pass out.
After what felt like hours her breathing finally evened out enough for her to think straight, face damp from half-dried tears.
The ragdoll tried a deep breath, staring at the wall with half lidded eyes trying not to think about what just happened too hard.
Laying down, she pulled the covers over herself and closed her eyes, letting the arms of sleep embrace her.