Archive of Our Own

Clay didn't enjoy school, but he didn’t hate it either. He has gotten used to it, it's something he does on a daily basis, Clay’s life has been average in most terms. He has stayed in the same house his whole life, and his parents aren’t poor or extremely rich by any standards. Clay knows most of everybody in his grade, and he never really got bullied (well not physically), and he never was really popular either. And if Clay was honest with himself he is quite ok with this fact.

Clay has never really minded his life at home or at school, it's just how it is. That was how it always was until Clay's current crush moved into the school, ‘Hannah Baker’ Clay didn’t really think much of her until they started getting closer, they started to work together and Clay developed his crush on the female.

Time went by and Clay noticed that Hannah was not ok, she was more violent and accusing then normal, after yelling at him after work. They didn’t really talk for a while. That was until the summer and they started talking again, it was going good, they were getting closer once again and Clay felt overjoyed.

-

Jeff convinced Clay to go to a party that was next weekend, while Clay was at work he mentioned it to Hannah asking if she was going to come to the party, too. Hannah declined that she was but asked if he was going. Clay nodded saying that his friend convinced him to go, Hannah nodded understanding.

Clay was at the party being the way he always is, awkwardly standing in the corner by the only person he really knew. Taking a drink, Clay was just looking around the party not doing anything really of importance, feeling something dig into his side, Clay looked down only to see an elbow shove its way into his stomach, Clay groaned looking up at his offender, only to see Jeff's smiling face. “Clay. look who just arrived”

Clay turned making eye contact with his crush, smiling at Hannah as he walked over to her. “Hey” Clay greeted awkwardly, “Hey” Hannah responded slightly laughing. After getting drinks and sitting down, Clay and Hannah talked about nothing and everything at the same time, making fun of the party and about school.

Soon they went upstairs things were heading one way then fastly turned south, Hannah screamed at him to ‘leave’ to ‘get out’ and so Clay did what she said. Running out of the room and house. Once Clay made it outside he didn’t know what to do, turning around a few times and looking around not knowing what to think, ‘what did he do wrong?’ ‘Did he push her?’.

Not knowing what to do, Clay starts to walk home, not paying attention to what is going around him. Clay jolted when an arm grabbed his shoulder. “Clay are you ok?” Jeff looked at him with concern. Clay looked at Jeff, “i’m going home” Clay shrugged Jeff;s touch off walking toward the sidewalk. “Clay! Hey Clay, come on man let me take you home. You look out of it." Jeff insisted.

Jeff led Clay to his car, “don’t worry I haven’t been drinking, i'll just take you home.” Jeff put on his seat belt, starting up the car. While Jeff started driving he glanced at Clay, who looked like he was out in his own little world.

“What happened?” Jeff asked, turning on his blinker. Clay didn’t respond for a few seconds, “I think I messed up” Jeff looked at him, “I don’t think it could have been that bad, what happened?” Clay let out a breath, “she yelled at me to get out.” Jeff frowned, “I don't know what I did wrong, I thought it was going ok. But I guess I was wrong”

Jeff looked at Clay “dude, you are the most considerate person I know.” Clay looked like he didn’t really believe the words, Jeff sighed and continued, “I think Hannah was just not there yet, it was probably a personal thing.” Clay looked at Jeff, about to respond but two bright lights stopped him from saying it.

“Jeff, Jeff!” Clay yelled, grabbing the wheel swerving the car to the right where it hit a light pole smashing the front of the car. The impact pushed the two boys forward, one smacking their head against the wheel, the other’s head slammed back from the air bag.

-

Thoughts slowly came back to Clay, blinking away the spots he looked around noticing the lack of noise. Slowly sitting up Clay noticed the smoke around him and the ringing in his head. Turning his head Clay saw Jeff with his head bleeding tilted to the side. Slowly lifting his arm, well trying it was quite difficult. Finally after a few attempts he lifted his arm, Clay grabbed onto his phone.

After taking an embarrassingly long time dialing three numbers, Clay finally hit the call, after a few seconds went by the line was picked up. “911 what is your emergency?” Clay tried to speak but nothing came out the first time, after the second attempt he finally found his voice. “I, the car i’m in crashed and Jeff isn’t awake” Clay could barely talk into his phone.

“Ok, could you tell me where you are?” the female voice asked, Clay’s lip wobbled slightly, “I, I don’t know. We were going to my house. He was going to drop me off.” Clay heard tapping, “ok sweetie can you tell me your name and your address? Please?” Clay squeezed his eyes. “My name is Clay Jensen and my address is **** White Road” more tapping “ok sweetie help is about five minutes away, do you think you could check your friend's pulse? Is he breathing?”

Clay leaned over to Jeff putting two of his shaky fingers against his friend's throat to check his pulse, “it, I feel it but it's not strong, he's bleeding a lot.” Clay said panicking “Ok that's good any pulse is better than no pulse” Clay turned slightly paler at that thought. “Ok Clay, where is Jeff bleeding from?” Clay looked over Jeff a few times before responding, “his head is bleeding a lot. The glass broke and cut him a few more times, his arm is also bleeding and bend slightly”

Clay explained into the phone, “ok can you see anything to wrap his head with?” Clay looked around for a few seconds not finding anything. “I don’t see anything,” Clay said and started panicking, “it's ok breath, do you have a jacket or hat?” Clay nodded pulling off his jacket, “remeber be careful, not too much pressure” the female spoke up once again.

“Ok they should be arriving very soon, make sure to keep that pressure on his head” Clay nodded, calming down enough to collect himself. Looking around to see any other damage, Clay saw another car with a messed up front similar to theirs, panicking Clay turns to his phone, “there's another car” there was shuffling on the other side of the phone until the female spoke up once again, “do you hear anything from the car?”

Clay tried to listen for any noises but he couldn’t move any closer because he was holding the hoody against Jeff's head. “I can't hear anything” “don't worry about it sweetie help has arrived” as if that was a signal Clay heard sirens and saw flashing lights, breathing in relief Clay relaxed the panic slowly disappearing started to make him tired.

The car door was opened by a tall male, after that everything went by in a blur. He didn’t need to worry about Jeff anymore, they were safe. Clay passed out quickly after he was taken out of the car.

-

Clay blinked awake only to squint his eyes right back shut, after taking a second to adjust his eyes, Clay finally was able to look around to see the room he was in. Mostly white and grey there was some blue added into the mix, the window was wide open which is probably what blinded him when he woke up.

Clay was taking in everything until his train of thought got cut off by the door slowly opening and in walked his father who was holding a coffee. After shutting the door softly to make sure not to wake up the already awake Clay, Clay's dad finally turned toward him. Smiling at him, his dad moved to sit by him. “Clay, hey bud. How are you feeling?” Matt asked, sitting beside his bed.

Clay looked at his dad “my head hurts, what happened?” Matt nodded with a soft smile, “yeah bud,” Matt pushed a button “you were in a car crash, hit your head pretty hard” Clay looked at his dad, finally recalling everything that happened. “Is Jeff ok?”

His dad looked at him, “the boy you were with? Yeah his ok, but” Clay tensed looking at his dad in concern, “he hasn’t woken up yet, but he is supposed to soon” Clay lowered his head, Matt put his hand on Clay’s back slightly pulling him into a hug. The two hugged for a few seconds before the door was opened and in walked a doctor.

After the doctor checked over Clay he took out a clipboard, “you can leave today, but you have to be careful with your head and arm ok your elbow got smashed a bit so be careful and your head got quite a bit of damage you should come back in about a week for a check up just to make sure everything is working how it should be.” the doctor explained tapping a pen against the clipboard.

The doctor whispered something to his dad before waving and out of the room, “she was nice” his dad said before turning toward Clay. “You ready bud?” Clay nodded as he started to try getting up, “hold on, here let me help you. And up you go" Matt lifted Clay up slightly. “Dad, “ Matt laughed at his son, “let's go, you hungry? let's go pick something up." His dad wrapped his arm around Clay's shoulders.

Walking into school Clay was incredibly upset. He found that Jeff was supposed to wake up almost a week ago and hasn’t and it looks like he won’t be waking up anytime soon. Putting his head into his locker in sadness and anger, Clay got lost inside his head. “Clay, listen what happened to Jeff is so sad but listen i-” as Hannah kept talking about herself, Clay clenched his jaw before slamming his locker.

“Not everything is about you, Jeff is my friend. And he's in the hospital. Why is it that anything that happens isn’t important unless it's about you?” Clay raised his voice, eyebrows pinched in anger, Clay felt his eyes watering. Turning away from Hannah, Clay pulled his hoodie up before going to his next class.

After that Clay didn’t really talk to Hannah much or of anyone for that matter, no matter how much Tony tried to talk to him. Clay just could help but feel like it was his fault, he shouldn’t have been in the car with Jeff. He’s the one who distracted him, if he wasn’t there Jeff would still be walking around them, Clay would be tutoring him every other day and Jeff would be giving him advice for talking to people.

But that's not happening because right now Jeff is sitting in a sad plain white room with a machine connected to him. Clay just couldn’t help but feel like it was all his fault, like there must have been something he could have done to help Jeff a little more.

It's been almost a month Jeff isn’t out of the hospital but after finally talking to Tony about it. Clay realized that it wasn’t his fault and that he shouldn’t blame himself. And Jeff isn’t gone, he is coming back Clay just doesn’t know when. He is still here, Clay could feel his anxious thoughts slowly leave his body when he realized this fact. It was ok, it is going to be ok. Everything will be ok.

Clay feels a piece of himself die when the news comes out, Hannah his friend, his crush is gone and not coming back, she left this place permanently, forever. She killed herself. She's gone, and there is nothing, no reason. No note, no paper or video or, or anything to explain why. Was it his fault? Was it because he yelled at her? Or was it for the party?

Clay felt like he was going to be sick, god why couldn’t Clay do anything right? Why does the people he cares for leave him? Was it his fault? Walking through the halls looking at Hannah's locker which was covered from top to bottom by decorations from people who didn’t care for her before.

Clay glared at the locker in hatred, walking down the hall only to see a stupid ‘suicide is not the answer’ posters that aren’t barely 5 inches away from each other. It pissed Clay off where were they when Hannah was actively going through the shit? Where was he?

Not even a few days later Clay found out that Hannah indeed did leave a reason, 13 of them and he was one of them. He didn’t listen to them, not at first he couldn’t. He was scared of what he would find, all he could do was look at it, stare at it.

After about 2 days of staring at it Clay decided it was about time to listen to it. And he did, he listened to everything: every betrayal, every heartbreak, every hurtful thing that happened to her. Clay tried to talk to people but his anger seemed to get in the way but it wasn’t until his own tape did he realize most of the anger was for himself, and that anger turned into devastating sadness.

…

Clay looked down at the edge of the cliff, it was calling out to him in the one voice that he thought he would never hear again. Clay couldn’t stop the tears from overflowing out of his eyes, he couldn’t think about anything except what Hannah went through, what he put her through, what he didn’t notice.

“Clay, Clay please, please step away from the ledge” Tony begged, hands up in the air reaching out to him. Clay couldn’t take his eyes away from the sight before him. Is this what Hannah felt? Did she feel sadness or anger? Did she feel anything at all? Was she scared or excited? “Clay you don't have to do this ok? You didn’t do anything wrong” “No! I did! Why didn’t I see anything? She was hurting so much," Clay yelled, turning to look at tony.

Tony's arms were reaching out for him, looking at the fear in Tony's face made him hesitate. “Please, Clay” Clay’s chin trembled with tears flowing down his face before he stumbled away from the ledge into Tony's arms. Tony patted his best friends back, a few tears dripping out of his eyes.

….

Clay didn’t want to listen to anymore, he just doesn’t want to but he feels like has to. So Clay put the headphones on once again to listen to the last ones. Clay didn’t know what to do after finding out what Bryce did, what he had done to Jessica and now Hannah. If he was capable of doing it not once but twice then he can do it again, not even talking about the fact that Jessica doesn’t fully believe that it happened.

Clay needs to do something even if everybody else wants him to leave it alone, he can’t. What Bryce did was horrible, someone died from it. Clay decided if nobody else would do anything then he would, Clay had a plan.

Walking to the home of a monster, Clay took a deep breath for the first time in a long time. He doesn't feel anxious, nervous or scared but anger nothing but anger. Releasing the breath Clay rings the doorbell by the door, a few seconds he hears footsteps coming toward the door, “Jensen? What the fuck do you want?”

After convincing Bryce to let him in to buy ‘weed’ Clay walked behind Bryce and ended up in Bryce's living room, “you have it in your living room?” Clay questions Bryce's boldness. The other male laughed while nodding, “yeah, my parents are gone for a week.” Clay doesn’t respond, just nodding while looking at Bryce, eyes narrowing. “Do you have the money?” Clay blinked out of his train of thought.

“How much do you usually pay?” Bryce grabs what he was looking for. “It's usually 60 but I pay 40. how much?” Clay didn’t know how to answer so he stuttered a second before Bryce cut him off, “I'll give you an 8th just cause it's obvious you’re new at this but I can’t keep doing this, if you need a guy I can give you my guy's number” Bryce finished.

Clay just agreed before opening his bag to ‘look’ for his money, quietly turning on his recorder, this is it. Clay was so caught up in his head, he almost missed Bryce saying he didn’t have to pay him right away. Clay put his backpack down, taking a deep breath. He was going to do anything to get that confession, Anything.

..Anything?

Walking into the school Clay had a lot on his mind, too much. But he needs to focus on one thing which is to continue with the plan of getting revenge for Hannah. Looking around for the one person he needed to talk to, Jessica was in baggy clothes hair was messy. She looked like she wanted to go to bed.

Clay walked up to her, “Jessica, we need to talk” Clay stated, Jessica scoffed at him, “I don’t want to talk to you Clay” Jessica started to walk away. “It’s important Jessica, what Bryce did” Jessica whipped her head around to glare at Clay. “Nothing happened! Hannah lied, she's a liar and you’re no better Clay. Just thinking that you can do whatever you want. Just leave me alone!” Jessica shoved past him.

Clay knocked on Justin's door, after a bit the door opened. Once Justin saw who it was he was about to close it, before Clay put his hand in the way. “Justin, we need to talk.” Clay frowned at him. Justin sighed but opened the door for him, letting Clay come into his ‘house’.

Clay sat on the couch, awkwardly. Justin sighed leaning against the wall, arms crossed, “what do you want?” Clay rubbed his hands together, “you need to tell Jessica the truth” Justin pinched his eyebrows, “what the fuck do you know? What? You think just because you listened to the tapes you know everything?” Justin pushed himself off the wall.

“Well guess what Jensen, Hannah is a fucking liar and she doesn’t know shit just like you.” Justin almost yelled, “Bryce did it once, what makes you think he won’t do it again?” Justin grabbed Clay, “get out, get out of my fucking house” Justin yelled shoving Clay out of his ‘house’.

Clay stumbled, the words repeated in his head a few times, very similar words. It makes Clay sick, putting his hand over his mouth before almost running outside. After Clay calmed himself he left, not knowing what to do. In order to get the ‘revenge’ for Hannah he needed Jessica and justin. Clay was stuck, what was he supposed to do?

Walking into his house Clay went straight into his room, he has been severely tired all day and dealing with two very angry people has not helped him. Clay opens his door to get ready for bed, dropping his backpack by the couch. Clay jumps out of his skin after seeing a person sitting at his bed. “Tony? What are you doing here?”

Tony sat up “hey Clay” Clay sat next to him, “what are you doing here?” he repeated. Tony stood up looking at Clay, a worried smile slipping on his face, “Clay how have you been?” Clay looked at Tony. “Clay, what happened that night was not ok, I don't think you're ok.” Tony frowned at him. Clay looked away from him.

“I’m ok, it was just a spure of the moment, I don’t, I am not suicidal” Tony frowned even more, “Clay that’s not something that happens in the ‘spure of the moment’ this is serious” Clay looks away from him, “Tony I need to take a shower” Tony pinches his eyebrows as Clay started grabbing his clothes. Even though Tony didn’t want to go, he saw the signs.

Tony looked at Clay for a while before he got up and walked out of the Jensen’s house. He didn’t want to leave Clay, not at all and especially not alone. But Tony knew better than to push Clay especially with something like this.

Clay saw Tony leave his room, taking a deep breath and letting it out. Clay grabs the clothes he was pretending to look for, and heads to the bathroom. He was actually really tired, but the sound of cleaning his filthy body was almost addicting.

After that Tony and Clay met up once again about a week later.

“The list of people who are going to testify is out” Tony sat down a cup infront of Clay, Clay looked at the cup tilting it toward him to see what Tony got him. “Hot chocolate?” Tony smiles at him, asshole. Sighing Clay takes a sip of his drink. “Am I? On the list I mean” Tony looked around “no, you aren't”

Clay sighed but didn’t look that upset about it which surprised Tony, “are you ok?” Clay snapped out whatever thought he was in, looking up at Tony, “yeah, it bothers me but after thinking about it I wasn’t really part of her life” Tony blinked “Clay you spent literally every summer with her” “not every one” Tony threw a look at Clay, who sighed.

“Who is on the list?” Clay asked changing the subject , Tony sighed before taking a sip, “almost everyone on the tapes, including me.” silence stretched for a few seconds before Tony spoke up again. “What do you think?” Clay thought for a minute “is Justin still missing?”

Tony nodded, Clay gritted his teeth “I need to find him, bring him back” Clay stared Tony in the eyes. “No, Clay, no I can't,” Tony shook his head. Clay frowned, keeping his eyes on Tony, “I can't Clay, I already have two strikes.”

“Please Tony, I need your help” Tony sighed “you understand about this more than I do” Tony gave him a look. “Fine, ok yes I will help you but I will only be taking you. I will Not be doing anything but that." Clay nodded, letting a smile loose. “Thanks Tony” Tony rolled his eyes but smiled back at him nonetheless.

Things were not going the best for Clay, they did get Justin back but he had some problems, Jessica couldn’t testify. And not even talking about the fact that Clay had his own problems, namely Skye. Clay cares for her so much but their relationship is, not the best.

Clay has been ignoring something, something that he doesn’t think he could even think about. And it is almost too easy, looking at himself. Clay sees himself, normal. He looks like he always has like nothing happened. Putting on his jacket, slipping on his hoodie, Clay walks down stairs about to meet up with Skye.

Walking to the door, Clay was about to leave, that was until he heard a voice, a certain voice. Walking into the kitchen Clay looked at his girlfriend who was cooking right next to his dad. Skye smiled at Clay, who sat there flabbergasted.

They talked about Skye meeting his parents but their relationship wasn’t the best, Clay couldn’t go past kissing. And Skye seemed to always connect every problem they have to Hannah.

“Hey Clay” Skye smiled at him after throwing a noodle at his head, hitting the wall behind him. “Almost there but not quite” his dad turned back toward the pan he was stirring. Clay looked at Skye, “what?” Skye grabbed his arm pulling him closing “we are having a dinner with your parents” Skye said with her voice lowered.

Clay nodded and got sent to sit at the table with his mother, while Clay and his mom were waiting they had a slightly awkward conversation. “How has school been?” his mom showed a strained smile, Clay felt annoyance bubbling under his skin. “Fine”.

The food was set down in front of them, stopping the very awkward conversation between the mother and son pair. “This looks really good” his mom smiled at the two ‘cooks’ who finished setting up everything and sat down.

Setting down the food the group of four sat at the table, silence fell over them. Clay didn’t know what to say, what could he say? Before Clay could even think of anything to say his mom asked a similar question to Skye that she did to Clay. And the conversation picked up.

Clay didn’t really say anything he just watched while eating, that was until Clay felt something touch his leg, looking down at the hand on his knee. Looking over at who the hand was connected to.

…..

Giving Skye a look, who just smiled at him, brought her hand higher. Clay had to stop himself from flinching. Clay didn’t know what to do, his body was freezing and memories flashed past his eyes. He remembered things he tried to lock away, things he tried so hard to forget.

Finally Clay was able to move his body, the hand that was traveling up got to its target. That's what made his body move, shoving the table away from him Clay jumped up, running upstairs to get away from the touch, the touch he could still feel.

Clay slammed the door shut of the dark room, closing his eyes repeatedly Clay felt disgusting he felt like his body, his thoughts, he. didn’t belong to him anymore. Clay needed to get away from it, he didn’t know what ‘it’ was but he needed to get away from it.

His body shook and he wanted to rip his skin off, it wasn’t his skin, nothing that belonged to this body was his. Nothing. He wanted out away from everything, away from the voices, the touches, the pulling and pushing away from everything. Everything, please please just away from it al-

“Clay?” a voice broke Clay out of his head, for a second he didn’t think it was real. It didn’t seem real, Clay blinked a few times “Clay” this time he knew it was really. Taking a deep shaky breath, Clay had to find the strength to stand up.

Looking in the mirror it finally looked like he wasn’t alright, he finally looked like what he felt like, he didn’t look like Clay Jensen. He felt strangely ok with that, almost, “Clay?” Skye Called again. Clay looked at the door before the previous memories came back of what they were doing. Clay splashed water on his face before turning toward the door, unlocking Clay opened it.

He didn’t get a second to even think about what was going on before Skye grabbed his arm and dragged him into his one room, not letting Clay say anything. The door closed and Skye was on him, kissing him. Clay didn’t think twice before shoving her away from him, backing up quickly.

…..

Clay barely got his breathing under control before Skye blew up at him, “what is wrong with you?” Skye yelled, Clay felt horrible. “Skye, I didn’t” she cut him off only to yell again, “you didn’t what? Want to kiss me?” she yelled at him, ”no, it's not like that. It's not you Skye, it's " Clay didn’t know how to say what he was struggling with, he didn’t even know what it was.

“I knew it. You are still in love with her, with Hannah” Skye spat at him, which threw him through a loop. Clay didn’t understand why Skye was always bringing up Hannah, Clay himself struggles with actually thinking about her, cause when he thinks about her, he thinks about what happened to her. And who did that and then he thinks about him.

And Clay’s head hurts when he thinks about that, so instead he focuses on what he can think of, the trials, school, and, and. clay ‘s mind was about to wander again. Before he even realized Clay's fist clenched up his teeth gritted, “why? Why do you always bring her up? It's not about her, it's about you!” Clay yelled out huffing but he wasn’t done, “i'm with you, I have been with you! Do you see her around? No cause she isn’t and what happened today isn’t because of her or what she did. It is cause of you and what you did!”

Clay yelled, Skye didn’t back down instead got even louder, “then why? Why did you run away from me? If Hannah did that, you would have been totally fine with it!” Clay scrunched up his face, ”what you did was not ok, it doesn’t matter who did it, it wouldn’t have been ok with anyone. You didn’t ask me” Skye rolled her eyes. “I wanted to be adventurous”

“If you want to do those kinds of things you have to ask me, we are together. And you did it in front of my parents!?” Clay just couldn’t understand why she thought this was a good idea, and why she thought she could do something like that to him without even asking.

“Oh whatever, it wouldn't have even mattered if it was Hannah that did it! You just don’t love me, you still love her!” Skye yelled storming out of the room and then the house, Clay stood there. He couldn’t think about anything except for the fact that this has happened before.

It has happened and he won’t let it repeat itself, not again. Clay chased after her, “Skye wait!” he yelled slamming open the door before grabbing his bike and chasing after her.

Clay couldn’t look away from the ambulance, he was to late. Clay felt a hand on his shoulder, turning toward Skye's mom, “I'm, I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to” Clay’s chin trembled “it’s not your fault Clay” she said to him before getting on the ambulance with her daughter. But Clay couldn’t help but think it was indeed his fault.

Why? Why did he push her away? He was being pathetic. What? He couldn't handle some kisses? Or touching? He was being pathetic, why couldn’t he just let her do what she wanted? Why didn’t he notice she was going through so much? Why did someone have to leave him again?

Clay walked into the school, he didn’t know what he was thinking, his mind was blank. Clay was so lost in his head he didn’t see when someone showed up in front of him, bumping into said person Clay blinked looking up only to see him. “Jensen” Bryce said more than asked before grabbing onto Clay's shoulder, “we need to talk, now.” Clay didn’t want to.

Trying to pull his arm free was not successful, panicking Clay’s eyes moved so fast he almost had to close his eyes, he didn’t want to go with Bryce, he didn’t want to talk, or look, or anything. At all.

The bell rang before Bryce pulled him into a room, Clay took this chance to pull away from him basically sprinting down the hall away from the taller male. Who watched him escape, Bryce's smile slowly fell away from his face, squinting his eyes.

Clay made into his classroom huffing, he sat in his seat. Justin who was looking at him pinched his eyebrows together. Clay didn’t meet his eyes, instead just dropped his head on the desk, letting the cold surface rest against his heating up head.

The trials ended, it was over and the outcome was the worst one. Not only did Bryce not go to jail but the only thing he had was four months probation, Justin ended up going to jail, for a little but luckily the Jensen family decided to adopt him as part of the family.

Clay shared his room with Justin. At first it was ok, but it got crowded fast. After a few months went by, his parents decided that the best thing to do was move them into the small building beside the main house. Justin and Clay shared the building which had a kitchen, a big room and a bathroom.

Clay was asleep when he felt something shaking him away, Clay jolted looking around making eye contact with his adopted brother. “Clay get up” Clay just grunted before rolling over pulling the blanket over his shoulders, slowly falling asleep again.

Justin huffed before grabbing a pillow and throwing at Clay, the pillow hit Clay in the head. Clay grumbled and sitting up “i’m up” Clay rubbed his eyes. Sitting up, Clay dropped the blanket on the bed after standing up. Going to grab some clothes “i'm going to go change” Justin watched him, “ok, i'll get you some food” Clay nodded before walking into the bathroom.

Justin finished setting up Clay's plate, waiting for him. Clay walked out, in the same clothes. “I thought you were changing your clothes?” Clay froze before looking around nervously “I decided that I am going to change when I take a shower” Clay said walking out of the small ‘house’. Justin watched him leave, Clay has been acting differently than usual.

Clay has been acting weird, Justin hates to say it but he has been so busy with things that he didn’t really notice before. He doesn’t really know how to explain it, in fact it may just be grief from the trails. But that is not it, Justin just has a feeling that it's something. Something’s wrong.

Once Clay parked the car, Clay and Justin got out of the car. Walking into the school Justin was making small talk with Clay, Justin stopped talking realizing that Clay wasn’t paying attention. “Clay?” Justin turned into the direction that Clay was looking in, to see what he was looking at. Justin’s eyebrows pinched when he saw Bryce looking at Clay.

Not knowing what exactly is happening, Justin steps in front of Clay glaring at Bryce before turning to Clay, who blinked a few times before finally looking at him. “Sorry, what did you say?” Justin crossed his arms over his chest, “what's going on between you and Bryce?”

Justin asked worriedly, Clay’s eyebrows flinched upwards for a second before going back to the way they were before. “He’s pissed at me because I was helping with the trials” Justin nods glancing behind him to find Bryce gone.

The bell rang, Clay and Justin separated going the opposite ways to their own classrooms. But Justin just couldn’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right, sure Bryce looked pissed but Justin just has a feeling that Clay’s reason wasn’t the one reason for Bryce's glare.

Justin’s doubt was proven right the same day during lunch, Clay and Justin were just about to walk to where the rest of their rag-tag group was until they bumped into Bryce once again. Though this time Bryce had things to say.

“Hey, guys” Bryce flashed an almost smug smile at them, Justin's jaw clenched. He hated Bryce and how he still kinda feels like he owes Bryce so much. “What do you want,” Justin gritted out. “Oh I don't want anything from you Justin, I was mostly talking to Jensen here” he smiled at him before looking at Clay.

As soon as Bryce looked at Clay their eyes seemed to be locked on each other. Justin stood there watching the two just looking at each other, getting slightly nervous. Justin nudged Clay with his elbow. Clay didn’t even blink at the touch, getting worried Justin called out to him “Clay?” still no response. Justin now was fully turned toward Clay. “Clay? You with me man?”Justin asked, grabbing onto his shoulder.

Justin didn’t notice Bryce reaching for Clay until he spoke up, “Clay, I thought I told you to keep out of my business?” Bryce's smile fell off his face, his hand grabbing onto Clay's other shoulder. Justin was about to smack his adopted-brother “you shouldn’t have done that.” Bryce's hand squeezed Clay's shoulder.

One second it was still the next Clay fell to the floor, surprising Justin who was about to kneel down to him. But Clay stumbled up running away from them. Justin glared at Bryce before running after Clay.

Finding where Clay was, it wasn't that hard since he ran into Zack who looked really worried, pointing toward the bathroom. Justin nodded, running into the bathroom only to see Clay on the floor. Shutting the door and locking it Justin sat not too close to Clay.

Justin hasn’t comforted a lot of people, and Clay looked like he wasn’t even there with him. Clay's eyes were staring at the floor and his mouth was moving. Justin couldn’t hear what he was saying, but his eyes started moving quickly around the room. Justin watched feeling like shit not knowing what to do.

Slowly Justin sat beside Clay tapping his finger every few seconds and started talking about literally nothing, the most random shit he could think of. Justin knows from his own problems that the best thing to do is distract Clay from whatever he was thinking of, and after that Justin can figure out how to comfort his brother.

After a bit, Clay started showing signs of understanding what he was saying, Justin saw tears slowly falling out of Clay's eyes, as his shoulders shook. Clay moved his body away from Justin to hide his face, Justin understood and sat there waiting for Clay to do what he needed to. Slowly Clay collected himself and stood up.

Justin followed Clay's lead standing up, Clay rubbed his eyes before turning toward Justin's head still turned downward. “Sorry” Justin felt anger coursing through him for a second, “don’t apologize, don’t ever apologize for something like this” Clay nodded before rubbing his face.

Justin exhaled walking to Clay wrapping his arms around Clay’s shoulders “it’s ok,
Clay.” Justin rubbed his back slightly, feeling Clay’s arms slowly coming up to wrap themselves around Justin's body. Justin could physically feel some tension essed out of his brother's body.

Walking out of the bathroom Justin hated it but he knew he had to ask Clay what happened between him and Bryce. Sure it could have been what Clay said and Bryce was mad about the fact that Clay was the one who collected quite a bit of evidence against him, but it just didn’t feel right.

And the reactions between the two, it was not just that. It couldn’t be, Clay was almost terrified of Bryce and Bryce basically was glowing whenever Clay looked like that. Justin knew from first hand experience that Bryce was a bit of a sadist but it was different, and Justin was scared what the answer would be.

“Bryce” Clay paused looking at Justin, “Bryce did something to you, didn’t he?” Clay looked at him before closing his eyes and walking away, leaving Justin with a horrible gut feeling. What did Bryce do? Clay basically just confirmed it.

Clay walked into his classroom, he was tired, so tired. He closed his eyes trying not to think about what happened, Justin was looking at him like Clay was different, like he wasn’t himself and for the first time since he looked in the mirror weeks ago Clay wished to look like his old self.

Because if Justin looks at how he actually feels then it will prove that what he ‘didn’t’ go through was real, that those dark corners in his mind won't be dark anymore, Justin's look shined a light on it and it will be shown true, that that night was real.

But it wasn’t real, it wasn’t.

Walking out of his classroom Clay was going to the library to get a book he needs for his project. A waving hand shook him out of his head, walking toward the owner of the hand. “Hey Jess. What are you doing?"Clay asked, standing next to her, looking around the table which was full of girls except for Tyler who was sitting in a chair away from the table, huh?

“Hey Clay, this is a group for survivors and allies” Clay nodded along “survivors of what?” Clay looked at the papers with hand prints with big letters spelling out ‘hands off’ “sexual assaults, rape. That kind of stuff "Clay looked at Jessica smiling a bit.

“I see” Clay felt so proud of Jessica, “do you wanna join a meeting?” Clay was about to decline but Jessica looked like she wouldn’t take no as an answer, “please” Jessica asked once again, Clay gulped before nodding. “Ok” Clay sat beside her. Clay felt eyes glaring into his head, looking around making eye contact with a girl with short dark hair and glasses. Awkwardly glancing at her before looking back at Jessica.

The meeting started and Clay didn't know how to respond to any of it, the girl ‘Casey’ was talking mostly and what she was suggesting was kind of scaring Clay, she was talking about ‘punishments’ to give to people who did this kind of stuff including Bryce.

Clay felt like it wasn’t his place to speak up so instead he just glanced at Jessica everytime he heard something that was crazy. Finally someone said something about giving people a taste of their own medicine, Clay didn't know who said it but he needed to say something.

“Let's do what they did to us.” Clay wouldn’t have said anything but then they started to talk about how they would do it and when, and Jessica looked like she wasn’t going to say anything, Clay sat up “this is crazy, doing that to them isn’t going to do anything. And it doesn’t make you any better than them.”

Casey glared at him, “Who are you to have any say? You don’t understand the pain we go through you have no idea.” Clay clenched his jaw, “that's not the point, you guys are talking about doing the same thing that causes you guys pain, why inflict it on someone else?” Casey didn’t like what he said apparently cause she stood up real fast.

“You have no say, you will never understand.” Clay also stood up, “once again that's not what i'm saying I to do, all i’m saying is that this is not a good idea, at all. You guys are talking about it like it's the best idea, and the people who don’t get shut down by you, do they not get a say too?” Clay asked, getting annoyed about the circle they are going in.

Casey raised her voice, just repeating what she said before, Clay looked at Tyler who had a similar look on his face when the idea was brought up, “Tyler you have been part of this group longer than I have, what do you think?” Tyler looked surprised but opened his mouth to respond.

“He doesn’t get a say either.” Clay glared at her, “why? Why doesn't he?” she glared back at him, “because he doesn’t understand either, allies don’t get a say cause they don't fully understand.” Clay’s eyebrows twitched. “What?” Clay looked at Jessica who looked away.

“How do you know he’s an ally? Did he say that?” Clay saw Tyler jolt slightly, Clay would have to talk to him about that later, but looked back at Casey who rolled her eyes, “males don’t understand either, guys will never know what it's like to go through something like this”. Clay paused, straightening up, “what did you just say?”

Casey crossed her arms, “they can’t understand the pain of being forced to do something.” Clay looked at Tyler whose head was lowered then looked at Jessica who was grimacing also avoiding Clay's eye contact. Jessica looked guilty, Clay knows that Jessica doesn’t think like this but he doesn’t understand why she isn’t saying anything.

Well if she won't, he will. “I've never met a single guy who has been.” Casey said it like it proved her point. Clay already has so many arguments for her, but he has to calm down. “Do you even hear yourself? Do you know how many people don’t believe in sexual assault victoms, and here you are making a group for the purpose to help people who have been through these things think that males don’t go through the similar things?”

Clay took a deep breath, “not only are you doing the same thing as those people are doing but you are also acting like people who tell girls that it's their fault for wearing clothes, do you know how upset you could make someone. Rape isn’t sexist, anybody can go through this thing, you being sexist shouldn’t be involved in something thats ment to help people understand they aren’t alone.”

Clay grabbed his bag pack, “and before you assume anything let me tell you something, not all males are offenders just like not all females are victims, 1 out of 6 males have been sexually abused or raped. 42%. Sure that is nowhere near the females but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.”

Clay walked out of the library totally forgetting the book he was supposed to get.

Jessica felt horrible for not saying anything, she had to talk to Clay. Looking for him caused her to run into Justin, literally. “Oh, sorry. Jessica! Hey "Jessica backed up before rolling her eyes at Justin's awkward greet. “Yeah, it’s ok. Do you know where Clay is?” Justin blinked at her.

“Why?” Jessica sighed, rubbing her head, “something happened during the meeting with my club, Casey said some shit to Clay” Justin's awkwardness turned serious. “What did she say?” Jessica’s face scrunched up, “she was saying how guys can’t get assaulted and she was also talking about getting revenge on Bryce by giving him a taste of his own medicine”

Justin’s eyebrows jumped up, “you mean, do you know what, to him?” Jessica nodded, “holy shit. What the hell. No wonder Clay spoke up, that's crazy "Jessica exhaled, " I know it's just that the times I do say something Casey almost always cuts me off.”

Justin nods in understanding, “Jessica, you are the present. It's your club not hers, you were voted not her, tell her that. Clay was right about it all, including looking at you for guidance not her cause you are incharge not her. Jessica nodded, “thanks Justin. I'm going to go find him”

Clay was walking down the hallway, not exactly knowing where he was going. He was angry, annoyed and he couldn't understand how people could think like that. Clay, caught in his thoughts, didn't hear anybody approach him until he felt a hand grab his arm and pull him into a room.

Clay was slammed into a wall, opening his eyes only to see the one person he hoped not to. “Finally we can talk a little, if that is ok with you Clay?” Clay couldn't respond. He tried to tug his arm out of Bryce's grasp in panic, he didn’t want to be with Bryce, alone, with nobody with him.

Clay just wanted to get away from him, “I'm going to take that as a yes, I found out that somebody convinced Justin to not only come back but also to testify against me, you also tried to get Jessica to testify. Not only that but you also found the box of photos. Where are they Clay? " Bryce's smile vanished from his face, voice getting lower.

Clay swallowed, not saying anything.“Where is it!” Bryce yelled slamming Clay into the wall, Clay gasped in pain, “I don’t know!” Clay yelled out, Bryce paused, bringing his hand up to Clay's neck and squeezing. Clay’s hands jolted up grabbing Bryce's arm trying to pull it off him. “You don’t know?”

…..

Clay couldn’t utter a word to confirm or decline Bryce's question. Bryce's smile came back bigger, “Clay, Hey Clay. Look at me.” Clay forced his eyes open, “remember when you came to my house, looking for weed?” Clay's eyes widened and his body started to shake, Clay needed to get out of there, now.

“Well you forgot it” Bryce brought out white powder, “this isn’t weed but, I think you will like this much more” Bryce covered Clay mouth with his hand and plugged his nose cutting off all breath ways, Clay’s face started to turn red Bryce put the powder on his hand. Lifting it right to clays nose, before unplugging Clay’s nose.

Clay took a deep breath, in the process breathing in the drug too. Clay tried to shake his head away from Bryce's hand, away from the drug. But couldn’t move his head much at all, Bryce’s hand still holding his mouth closed. After a few seconds Bryce dropped Clay. Falling onto his butt, Clay took deep breaths and sneezed.

After Clay sneezed, panting a bit until he finally caught his breath. Clay tried to get away from Bryce crawling away from him, stumbling up Clay tried to make it to the door but Bryce grabbed onto Clay once again. Lifting him up, and once again Clay was against the wall.

“I don’t know why you're acting so scared, the only thing I did was beat you up” Bryce looked at Clay who was in fact trembling, Bryce leaned closer to Clay “everything else I did” one of Bryce’s arm going downward.

“You wanted,” Bryce whispered to Clay, whose eyes widened. Clay looked around, what can he do? Clay needs to get away from him, panicking Clay knees Bryce in the groin. Bryce let go of Clay grabbing his injured body part, falling to his knees.

Clay ran out of the bathroom only to run into Monty, who ran into the bathroom after he heard Bryce's grunt of pain. It didn't take long for Monty to come back out of the bathroom to chase Clay down, who was already struggling with running.

“Jensen! Get back here!” Monty chased after Clay, Clay ran as fast as he could but soon he started stumbling a lot more, running into lockers and trash cans. Something grabbed him, Clay struggled until he heard their voice, “Clay!” It took a second for his eyes to clear and actually see tony.

“Tony?” Clay kept looking around, Tony was incredibly worried about Clay, who’s eyes were red and physically he was disheveled. “Is that a bruise on your neck?” Tony almost yelled moving closer to get a better look. Tony was going to ask more questions but Clay tried to run past him, wondering what made Clay react like that and why Tony looked around. Only to see Monty sprinting toward them.

“Jesen!” Tony stepped between Monty and Clay. “What the hell are you doing?” Tony yells at the running male, who tried to shove him out of the way. But Tony wouldn’t budge, not when Clay was shaking like a leaf. Monty tried to get past Tony but couldn’t, getting mad he threw a punch at him. Tony reacted fast.

While Tony and Monty started to fight, Clay was starting to calm down taking deep breaths while leaning against the wall. Lifting his head only to see Bryce walking down the hallway. Freaking out, Clay ran the opposite direction. Running away Clay blinked hard, most of the classrooms were locked because a lot of the teachers had gone home already. Clay was looking for anywhere to hide, anywhere at all. Running into someone, Clay tried to shove the arms away but it wasn’t working.

Freaking out Clay started yelling, “Let go! Let Go!” the arms tighten around him, “Clay! Clay calm down." Clay was shoving away from the arms as much as he could, “let! go,?” looking up, Clay paused, realizing who was holding. After he found out who the arms belonged to, Clay calmed down.

Zach held onto Clay who was shaking, looking around at the other. Justin walked up to him with a worried look. They didn’t know what was going on until they heard footsteps, looking down the hall Zach saw Monty running toward them with Tony hot on his heels. Bryce appeared too, Justin didn’t hesitate to jump on Monty throwing punch after punch.

Tony and Bryce started to fight. Zach knew he had to help them somehow, but Clay was still out of it and was holding on to his shirt. Looking around he noticed that Jessica and Alex were still in the classroom. Walking into the classroom, Zach eased Clay onto a chair. Turning toward Jessica who nodded going over to Clay, Zach walked out of the classroom shutting the door behind him. Zach ran over to Tony and Bryce, grabbing Bryce's arms to let Tony punch Bryce in the face.

The fight continued for a bit, Bryce and Monty both were on the losing end. Monty was still fighting but Bryce was basically out of it. None of the students noticed the teachers running over to stop them, and when they did, no one cared.

The teachers pulled everyone apart and they all got detention for a month. Except Bryce, and Monty only got detention for a little over a week.

After Clay's parents scolded him, he went to their smaller building only to find Clay asleep on his bed. Letting out a breath Justin walked over to him pulling the blanket over him, Justin couldn’t look away from the bandage wrapped around Clay’s throat.

Getting a text from Tony, Justin sighs, getting up and walking to the red car. Tony took Justin to the Monet's cafe. Once he walked into the cafe he saw the group of people. Zach, Jessica, Tyler, and Alex. Walking up to the table, Justin took a seat next to Jessica.

“Ok, does anybody know what the hell happened today?” Justin stayed silent, yeah he noticed something is wrong with Clay but it's not something he wants to talk about. Hoping that somebody else could mention it, or hint at it. Maybe he could find something out.

The conversation started, everyone was throwing out different ideas. That was until Tony spoke up, “I think Bryce did something to Clay” everyone turned toward Tony, “what?” Alex spoke up, “his eyes were red, and he was stumbling all over the place.”

“What do you think he did?” Everybody looked at each other, nobody really knew what to say. Not that Justin noticed, he was too busy in his own head. What Tony just explained was something he recognized, a drug Bryce used when he was stressed.

Justin felt anger rising at the idea of Bryce forcing Clay to take drugs, for a reason Justin just can't think of why? Bryce was capable of a lot but why would he force Clay to get high so he can beat him up? So what was the reason? Why did Bryce go so far?

Everyone was talking at the same time, the voices blended together until one voice was raised. Everyone stopped looking at the owner of the voice, Tyler snapped his head downward nervously. Alex urged Tyler to speak up, Tyler took a deep breath getting ready to speak.

“What if Bryce wasn’t trying to hurt him physically but sexually. He did it to Jessica and Hannah and who else.” they all went quiet “you don’t actually think Bryce did that to Clay. Do you?” Zach asked, pissed. Tyler looked down.

Tyler recognized certain things about Clay, how he slowly started to lose himself. He saw the look Clay had when Bryce was running toward them, it was the same look he himself had with Monty. Tyler knew if Monty was capable of doing something like this Bryce had to be too. “Yes, I do”

Justin sat in Tony's car staring nowhere, lost in thought. Is that what Bryce was trying to do? The drug? The chase, was it all leading to this? Did Bryce really do that to his adopted-brother? To Clay?

Looking at Tony who was trying a little too much to focus on the road, “do you think that Tyler is on to something?” Tony glanced at him before turning back toward the road, not giving him a verbal answer but the look on his face made the answer clear. He needs to talk to Clay.

Clay woke up hearing noise in the kitchen, sitting up, yawning. Clay uncovered himself walking toward the kitchen. “What are you making?” he asked Justin, who turned around holding out a mug to Clay. Taking the cup, Clay took a sip before glaring at Justin who just smiled at him.

Clay groaned “what is up with everyone giving me decaf?” Clay exaggerated sitting down. Justin rolled his eyes, “it's because your anxiety physically gets worse” Justin sets down two plates filled with breakfast food.

After eating Clay went to take a shower, Justin took a deep breath. He knows he has to talk to Clay, to either confirm or deny the question. But Justin just couldn’t sit still looking around. Justin was thinking that maybe there could be something else, something that didn’t have anything to do with Bryce. Justin hoped.

Looking through Clay's things, Justin felt slightly bad but then thought about all the times Clay did the exact same thing with almost everyone in their weird group. Pushing his thoughts away, Justin looked through everything. Clay’s bed, dresser, closet. He couldn’t find anything.

Opening the case of Hannah's tapes out of desperation, Justin noticed another tape. Realising that it was the confession, Justin decided to listen to it again hoping that it would give him any clues.

Putting on the headphones, Justin pushed play.

…..

“Did you rape Hannah Baker?” Justin heard Clay's voice speak angrily. There was shuffling, he couldn’t hear anything until another voice spoke up, “what did you just say?” Clay didn’t let up and repeated himself more accusingly then before.

“You raped hannah baker!” “Thank you for coming, now get the fuck out of my house” “i’m not going until you admit it” Justin could hear more shuffling, “she came to my party. Mine. She got in the hottub with me. Without a bathing suit on. She fucking, she made fucking eyes.” the conversation went back and forth for a hot minute before Bryce finally admitted it.

It went quiet for a second before he heard something get hit, hearing Bryce speak up, “you shouldn’t have done that.” Justin guessed Clay got so angry he punched Bryce, it was confirmed when he heard Bryce beat Clay in the next second.

Justin was so tempted to stop listening but, he needs to listen to it all. After a bit the hits stopped and Bryce spoke up once again, “She wanted me. Me. She was practically begging me too. If thats rape, then every girl at this school wants to be raped.” Justin felt disgusted.

“She and every girl gave me those eyes.” Bryce continued, “Like the ones you’re giving me.” Justin froze. He couldn’t move, the shuffling was a little more panicked breathing, Justin could hear Clay's terror in his brother's picked up breaths.“I guess the weed rumor wasn’t the only one true, huh.”” footsteps were heard, you want me, everyone wants me.” “what the, stop-”

……

Justin ripped the headphones off him moving back away from the tape, slammed his hand against his mouth, Justin ran toward the bathroom barely making it to the toilet. After throwing up his guts Justin rubs his mouth before going to the sink splashing water on his face and some in his mouth to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth.

Walking out into the room only to make eye contact with Clay who had the tape in his hands. Justin walked into the room, sitting on his bed. Clay sat on his bed across justin, Clay fidgeted with the headphones but didn’t go anywhere near the tape, like it was a disease.

The silence stretched, Justin just didn’t know what to say. Clay looked at Justin, shoulders tense, “did you hear.” Clay didn’t need to finish, Justin nodded. Clay’s should raised around his head, lifting his legs onto the bed.

“I” Clay opened his mouth but it closed right back up, wrapping his arms around him. Justin stood up, walking to Clay and sitting next to him. Justin just sat there silently, as the minutes passed he could Clay’s breath even out and his body started relaxing.

Clay lifted his head slightly to look at him, Justin smiled at him before moving closer to him. Justin wrapped his arms around Clay, and Clay started trembling. Justin felt his shoulder getting wet, but he didn’t give two shits about that.

After Clay started to calm down, Justin knew he had to say something that could freak him out. But he needed to, “Clay” Clay backed away from Justin, rubbing his hand down his face and through his hair. Moving back a little so they can face each other.

“You need to tell our parents.” Clay backed up a bit, “no, I can't” “Clay” Justin didn’t get to finish, because Clay's phone cut him off. Clay picked up his phone answering after,after a bit Clay whipped his head around to look at him.

Clay's eyes were wide before he hung up the phone, standing up Clay grabs his jacket. Justin stands, not knowing why Clay is leaving. “What's going on?” Justin calls out to Clay who was basically running out of the building. “Jeff woke up” he shouted back, getting into his car.

Clay drove to the hospital where his friend was, walking to the counter the male sitting behind the desk looked up. “What do you need?” Clay spoke up, “Jeff Atkins. I got a call saying he has woken up?” the nurse nodded his head while tapping away on the keyboard.

“Yeah he woke up recently, room 314” Clay nodded, thanking him before walking away. Walking down the hallway Clay couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Jeff has been unconscious for a short amount of time for someone in a coma, but so much has happened it feels like it's been years.

Making it to 314 door Clay takes a deep breath before opening the door, only to be met face to face with Jeff's mother. She smiled at him before whispering softly, “i'll leave you guys alone” she smiled before walking away. Clay walked more into the room.

Behind the curtain was Jeff drinking water, he looked pale from the lack of sun. After Jeff finished drinking he noticed Clay, smiling Jeff greeted him. “Hey” Clay felt his eyes slightly water but smiled trembly at Jeff instead, “hey”

After taking a seat Jeff turned his body toward Clay, the silence stretched for a bit. Jeff couldn’t help but break it somehow, Jeff has alway known that Clay has a problem with conversation. Taking the lead Jeff broke the silence with a single joke, after that the conversation flowed.

Clay felt like himself finally after what felt like forever, with everything that had been happening Clay was relieved to find someone who didn’t talk about the complicated stuff(even if he didn’t know about it). Then Jeff asked a question that made Clay lose his smile.

“How are you and Hannah?” Jeff asked, smiling, Clay felt slightly sick. Clearing his throat, Clay answered, truthfully. “Hannah is well she.” Jeff sat there waiting. Clay silently thanked him being patient before taking a deep breath, “Hannah killed herself”

Jeff's smile fell from his face, “oh” Jeff had a growing frown upon his face, lifting his hand to set it on Clay shounder. Which was trembling, “so much shit has happened, Jeff.” Clay's voice broke Jeff grabbed the cup of water handing it to him.

Jeff changed the topic back to what they were talking about before, Clay hadn’t felt so grateful before. Jeff really is such a good friend, Clay is so happy that he came back and didn’t leave him, not forever.

Justin walked into the hospital just in time to see Alex and the others, Alex spoke to him directing the others to look at him. “Justin?” Justin knew what Alex was asking, Justin looked away not able to verbally say anything. But nodded slowly nonetheless.

The group all were horrified, nobody knew what to do. Jessica jumped up and started to storm toward Jeff's room. Everyone got surprised, but Justin couldn’t give two shits because he already had an idea of what Jessica was about to do.

Running up to Jessica trying to keep up to speed with her, “Jessica you need to think about what you’re about to do” Jessica glared at him but didn’t stop, “I did, just a second ago” Justin grabbed onto her arm.

Jessica slapped his hand, “don’t fiucking touch me!” she shouted before slamming into the room. Justin shook his head running right after her. “Jessica please don’t.” he begged. The others finally made it into the room to see what was going on.

Clay was talking to Jeff, but they both paused hearing shouting. Both looked at each other then the door not knowing what was happening. Clay was about to get up to check it but before he could the door slammed open revealing Jessica.

Barely hearing the slight conversation between Jessica and Justin (if he could call it a conversation) Jessica was staring at him, Clay didn’t know what was going on. After a few seconds the others arrived behind Justin and Jessica.

Jessica stormed up to Clay who backed a bit, “when were you going to tell me?” she yelled at him, Clay looked at the others, who looked away from him. “Tell you what?” Clay could almost see a vein pop on Jessica's face.

……

“What Bryce did to you?” Clay felt himself freeze, his breath stopped and he couldn’t hear anything, not anything, he couldn’t blink. Clay barely heard Jeff ask, “What did Bryce do to Clay?” He could hear Justin saying something but didn’t know what.

Clay wanted, needed to calm down. He just needs to breathe, Jeff is awake it should be happy and a nice day. And it will be as soon as he get his body back, and then he can “Bryce raped you, Clay”

Justin has never felt this anger before, especially at Jessica who he deeply cared about, but when he saw how Clay froze his eyes not looking anywhere, he couldn’t help but want to yell at her. Jeff asked Jessica what she meant.

Justin warned Jessica not to say anything, it wasn’t her place to say anything. So when she did and Clay started to cry, shaking immensely. Justin wanted to scream, yell at her, shove her out of the room and away from his brother. But he couldn”t he had a brother freaking out to help and calm down. Justin shoved Jessica out of his way as he got onto the floor not touching Clay but trying to get his attention.

It wasn’t working, Clay wasn’t calming down like he usually did, but he got worse and started to rock back and forth. Mouth moving but no sound came out his eyes moved everywhere, but then stopped.

C;ay looked into his eyes, everyone went quiet as Clay stopped moving. Justin couldn’t speak, he couldn't look away from his brothers' feared filled eyes. It was like that for what felt like forever, Clay's eyes rolled back as he fell out of his chair. Justin tried to grab him, but ended up with a passed out Clay in his arms on the floor.

After a bit of everyone freaking out a nurse came in and took Clay into another room, Justin opened his phone calling Clay's (their) dad. Rushing out of the room to follow the nurses who had his brother, not before glaring at his ex-girlfriend.

After telling Matt about Clay, Justin settled next to Clay's bed. Clay layed there not moving, Justin didn't fully comprehend what Bryce did to his brother, but after that reaction and everything else there was no second-thought or doubt, Bryce raped clay.

Matt walked into the room looking around with a bit of panic, but once he saw Clay Matt let out a breath before sitting next to Justin. They sat there in silence for what felt forever until Matt spoke up, “what happened?” Justin didn’t look at his adopted dad. “He fainted,” Matt nodded, taking a deep breath before speaking once again.

“Ok. Now, What really happened? What has been happening?” Matt looked at him, Justin didn’t know what to say to him. He knew what was happening with Clay was important, but it was Clay’s not his. Should he tell him? Would it help Clay or make Clay lose trust in him?

Taking a deep breath Justin turned to his adopted father, “Clay, he” Justin's voice got lost, how can someone look into a fathers eyes and tell them their child was hurt so badly? How could he tell him?

Justin was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t see Matt move until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Jolting Justin blinked away the panic to look at Matt, who was smiling at him. “It's ok Justin, just breathe. You didn’t do anything wrong. I'm sorry for pressuring you "Matt rubbed his back.

As Matt calmed Justin down, neither of them noticed that Clay was waking up. It wasn’t until Clay coughed that made Justin lift his head up, standing up to get close to Clay. “Clay, hey, you up?” Clay blinked a few times before sitting up.

“I'm getting sick of waking up in these rooms” Clay said looking around until he saw Matt, “dad” Matt moved closer to Clay, “hey buddy, how are you feeling?” Justin saw how Clay relaxed almost immediately after Matt asked that, Clay just started to cry. Justin moved back to let Matt hug him.

Deciding that Justin would leave his brother with his doubted dad, Justin got up, walking out of the room. Justin stopped at the door after seeing Jessica waiting outside of Clay’s room, Justin's mood fell even farther. “What are you doing here?” Jessica looked sad.

“Justin please, I didn’t mean to, it's just” Justin grabbed Jessica walking away from the room. “Just what Jessica? What you did was so utterly just. ugh.” Justin rubbed his face “it was horrible” Jessica clenched her fist “I know, I shouldn’t have done that” “yeah, you shouldn’t have”

“Don’t act like that Justin, we both know that Clay has done the same thing to me” Justin turned his head around to glare at her, “yeah he did. But not in front of everyone! And it was incredibly different from what he did and what you did.”

“How?” Jessica crossed her arms “well for one, he was trying to help you. And you were doing it cause you were upset that he didn’t tell you. And two he went to you discreetly pulled you away from you and talked to you calmly, you stormed into the room shouted at him and didn’t stop yelling until he literally fainted”

Jessica looked away, her arms falling. Jessica looked away, “yeah, I didn’t think. I’m so sorry Justin. "Justin felt his shoulders relax slightly but he didn’t drop his frown. “You need to say that to Clay” Justin said before walking away.

Once he got back into the room Justin saw someone new in his chair, “Hey Justin” Jeff waved at him, “Hey man, how are you doing?” Jeff smiled at him, “feeling like a new person” Justin laughed “ I bet, if I slept for months I would too” Justin sat next to Clay, who greeted him.

The mood was good for a bit until Jeff looked at Clay, face slowly falling, “Clay?” Clay looked at Jeff, smile falling as well. Justin wasn’t sure what he could do except support his brother, “you need to tell someone” Clay’s face went pale.

Clay shook his head, “no, you don’t understand, I can’t” Clay started to panic once again, Justin moved closer to Clay. Justin was trying to help Clay stay calm until Matt came back, seeing what was happening he kicked Jeff out and helped Clay. Justin just watched them, feeling his own eyes water.

Clay didn’t deserve this, no one did but, Clay. Clay helped everyone. Yeah, he also made some questionable choices but he was always there for people, him, Hannah, Jessica, hell basically everyone in our group.

Clay calmed down after a bit, Matt sat beside him, his arm still around him. Matt rubbed Clay’s back, soothing him. It was quiet for a bit until both his and matt's head turned toward Clay who spoke up,

“Dad” Matt looked down at his son, not saying anything. Just waiting patiently for Clay to gather his thoughts. Justin never realized how well Clay's dad knew how to calm him, though thinking about it, it makes sense. Before any of this shit happened, Clay had anxiety(and depression).

“I lied to you” Matt hummed softly just kept rubbing his back, “about?” Clay rubbed his face before looking away. “About that night” he took a deep breath before sinking deeper into his father avoiding his gaze. “The night Bryce beat me up, you asked me if that was the only thing that happened.” Clay looked at Justin before finally looking at matt. “I lied”

Justin saw Matt’s bottom lip tremble before taking a gulp and turning toward his son, wrapping Clay up in his arms, “it’s ok, you’re ok” Clay sobbed, silently while Matt rubbed his back, slowly rocking them back and forth.

Justin felt his own cheeks getting wet, he was about to leave when he caught Matt's eyes. Matt smiled at him before waving him over to the bed. Justin hesitated, this was about Clay not him. But then Clay turned toward him, “Justin?” Justin couldn’t stop from speed walking over to Clay and hugging him tightly too.

Clay walked into the police station, with his brother and dad, “Clay why don’t you wait here with Justin, i'll be back in a moment” Clay nodded, turning to the chairs and sat down with Justin. Clay didn’t know what to think about, everything was happening too fast.

Clay just actually came to terms that something actually happened to him, now he has to explain what happened in detail? Clay doesn’t think he can, but his dad has explained how the sooner he does it the sooner he will be able to move on. And Clay just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

Even if he just wanted to get over this whole thing he can't help but feel like he doesn’t deserve all of this, help. There were already so many people who were hurting and who went through shit, Clay feels like his problems weren’t that big of a deal. Justin jolted Clay out of his thoughts when he felt Justin’s hand on his shoulder, looking to the side he sees Justin looking at him worryingly,

“You ok?” Clay looked down, “do I look ok?” Justin put his hands up, Clay smiled a bit. “Sorry, I'm sorry Justin.” Justin set his hands down. “There's nothing to be sorry about Clay, you did nothing wrong” Clay sighed.

“I don’t know if I can do this” Justin nodded in understanding, “yeah I thought so, but Clay” Clay hummed “just don’t forget, you aren’t doing this alone, i'm here for you” Clay let out a small smile, Justin inhaled before speaking again. “And so is Our dad” that made Clay look up at Justin.

Clay looked at Justin with brightened eyes, “Justin” Justin slightly looked away before looking at Clay, Clay leaned back against his chair, “i'm so happy, that I finally have a brother” clay exaggerated. Justin laughed slightly, shoving Clay.

Matt walked over to his two kids, watching Justin help Clay made his mood lift slightly. But it didn’t change much, Matt looked at Clay whose eyes were red, and he had big eyebags dripping from his eyelids. Sitting next to Clay, who finally noticed him.

“Listen bud, they need to get some paperwork filled and then they will take us.” Matt rubbed Clay’s back, Clay nodded. A small conversation went on between Justin and Clay while they waited. It didn’t take long for a police officer to come over.

“Mr Jesen?” Matt stood up with Clay following him, and Justin a little far away. “Hello, sir before we go on with the questioning, I've got to ask. Do you have any physical evidence?” Matt looked at Clay. Clay looked nauseous, before he could answer Justin jumped in. ”Clay, do you want me to go get it?” Justin muttered to Clay.

Matt didn’t say anything, even if he could hear everything Justin said. Matt really didn’t want to think about what they had for physical evidence, Matt can’t even fully understand how much pain his kid went through. His young little boy, who hasn’t ever done anything wrong, who doesn’t deserve this not one bit. But Matt can’t go on that train of thought just yet, he needs to be focused on his kid.

After Justin left the police officer led them into a room, sitting down the female set down a recorder. “Ok for the record please state your name and what you are reporting.” She asked Clay, who looked at him. Matt nodded at him putting his hand on Clay's shoulder as silent reassuring.

“My name is Clay Jensen and I am reporting a rape” Matt clenched his jaw, he still couldn’t wrap it around his head about what his little boy went through. Hearing Clay say it makes it too real, this is actually happening. His precious little Clay who read and watched movies about robots and aliens, who read comics and played with things that are way over Matt's head.

Really went through this kind of pain, who was all by himself and was hurting in silence. “Do you know who was the offender and the victim?” The police womens voice broke him out of his head, Matt needed to focus and needed to be there for his son.

Clay looked at Matt, it reminded Matt way too much of how young Clay was. Matt nodded at him trying to smile for him, his son looked back and took a deep breath, “Bryce walker raped me” it was silent before the officer nodded “ok, can you explain how this happened?”

Clay clenched his jaw before straightening his back and spoke, “there were these tapes” “tapes?” Clay nodded “yes, tapes one of my friends died a few months ago. Before she died she made these tapes, basically explaining what led to her death.” the officer's eyebrow lifted, “how did she know when she was going to die?”

……

Clay glanced at him, Matt squeezed his shoulders slightly, “she killed herself.” it was silent before Clay continued “ on one of the tapes Hannah said” “Hannah?” Clay nodded “Hannah Baker” “ok, continue” “she said she witnessed Bryce Walker rape someone, and after” “someone? Who did he rape?” Clay looked at him.

“The person doesn’t fell comfortable with people knowing so i’m not going to say it sense they already did their statement” the officer nodded “ok, as long as they already did something about it we can contine” Clay continued “one of the final tapes said that Bryce raped Hannah herself, and then you know she, isn’t here anymore”

“Ok, what does this have to do with what happened between you and Mr Walker?” Clay looked down, closing his eyes tightly before he kept going. “Because that is the reason I went to Bryce's house.” “you went to his house?” Clay nodded.

“I went there cause I needed to get his confession, for everyone who Bryce hurt.” “So what happened after that?” Clay gulped “it's ok bud, you didn't do anything wrong.” Clay looked at him, eyes watering slightly. Matt felt like throwing up, but pushed it down. He'll deal with these emotions when he is alone.

Wrapping his arm around Clay's shoulders, hugging him. Clay leaned into him before getting his courage once again to continue. “I had a plan to get the confession. I went up and knocked on the doors, Bryce answered the door questioning what I was doing there.” glancing at Matt like Clay felt guilty “I told him I wanted to buy weed.”

Matt felt his eyes widen a bit, he knew what teenagers do, he himself was a wild ass teenager doing all kinds of shit like that. But no matter how many times he basically encouraged Clay to talk to him about that kind of stuff, Clay never liked that kind of stuff. He liked books and movies, not drugs and drinking.

“You went there to buy weed?” Clay replied looking so guilty, “yeah, I wasn’t going to actually use it. I just needed a way to get close to him, and there was already a rumor going around that it just fit well” Matt got what Clay was saying, Clay has always been incredibly smart even when he was emotional. “He led me into his house getting the weed to sell to me, after pretending to get my money Bryce said I could just owe him the money the next time he throws a party.”

“You said you pretended?” Clay nodded, “yeah, I brought a recorder, so I could record the confession, so while pretending to look for the money I really just pushed the recording button” the officer nodded in understanding, writing something down.

“What happened after?” “After that I started asking questions, at first the questions were simple but after a bit Bryce was just saying things about Hannah. Talking about things and how she wanted it and I couldn't help it. I punched him.” The officer looked at Clay.

“You assaulted Bryce Walker on his property?” the officer looked at the paper writing something down. “I, yes I did. He got his revenge though.” Matt glared at the officer, who seemed like she didn’t want to drop the fact that Clay punched bryce. But nobody interrupted Clay as he spoke.

“How did Bryce react to the punch?” “he beat the crap out of me, while he beat me he ended up admitting the rape happened.” the officer nodded along but after a second of Clay not speaking she looked up at him. Clay was looking at him again, paler than before.

“Dad? Do I have to keep going?” Matt took a deep breath, “bud you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, right?” Matt stared at the officer, “well we need to know what happened, is it possible you have the recording? Did it capture everything?” Clay looked down, nodding.

“Yeah, it has it all on it.” the officer nodded her head, "I'll call you if we need anything ok?” Matt nodded before helping Clay stand and slowly walking out of the room with his son. He's not good with this kind of stuff but he knows he needs to be there for his kid.

Matt walked out leading Clay to Justin, he needed to finish up a few more things before they could go home. Matt was filling out the remaining paperwork, and the officer who took Clay's statement walked up to him. “Mr, jensen.” Matt turned to look at her, “yes? Is there something wrong?”

“I just need to tell you something and this is off duty, what your son went through was horrible but not a lot of people are going to be to ‘believing’” Matt paused, standing up. “What are you saying?” she looked at him. “A lot of people aren’t educated in this sort of thing, not a lot of people believe the rape is a thing for girls not even talking about boys. This is probably going to go to court.”

“And they are going to use any tactic against him, my male cousin was raped when he was younger, and nobody believed him cause of the fact that he was a male. I'm just warning you.” She finished walking away. Matt watched her leave before looking at his kid.

Matt hopes that his kid won't have to go through anymore pain.

The Jensen family went home, ordering food. They all sat together watching one of Clay's favorite movies. After about 30 minutes in the movie, Matt's kids were fast asleep. Looking at his kids Matt didn’t know what to think, going onto his phone to contact his wife, who he has been texting all day to keep up to track.

Matt felt his breath speed up, the tears and emotions he was holding back flowed out of him. Holding onto his kids a little tighter, Matt wanted to help his sons but how? He has been there for Clay his whole life, and you would think he would know how to take care of him. But Matts has never been in this situation.

He's heard of it, met people who have been through it but he never had someone so close to him, someone he cares so much about going through something like this. Someone who is his baby, his kid. How could this happen? And what can he do about it?

Days went by and Matt was not letting his kids go back into that school with Clay's rapist being in the same classroom as him. “No, he's not going into school, you can send his and Justin's school work here. Clays smart enough he can figure it out here.” Matt hung up on the principal.

Putting the phone down just in time for his kids to walk through the door, smiling at his sons while setting down their plates in front of them. “Dad?” Clay looked at him, and Justin followed Clay’s lead, Matt sighed “i'm taking you two out of school for the time being” Clay’s eyes widened.

“I know you're close to the end of the year but don't worry your homework is going to be sent here, all of it. Clay I know you can handle it, and Justin I believe you can too but if either of you need help. I can help you with it, ok?" Clay and Justin looked at each other before looking back at him and nodding.

“Good, cause you both are going to therapy and getting help. Clay, we are going to get you a new therapist just because the one before was more about socializing and we think you need someone who can help with more than one thing.” Clay grimaced before agreeing.

Matt smiled a bit, “it's going to be ok bud, it's just to help you ok?” Clay looked at him before smiling slightly “ok” Matt nodded and looked at Justin, “is that ok with you?” Justin looked incredibly awkward before glance at Clay who rolled his eyes at him before nodding at him.

Justin turned to him and nodded, “That's ok with me, thank you.” Matt smiled at him. The moment was interrupted with his phone, saying a quick ‘hold on’ before turning toward his phone. Answering it “hello?” “Mr, jensen?” “yes?”

“This is officer Standall and I wanted to ask if it was ok if some officers come to ask a few questions?” Matt looked at Clay and Justin who were just starting to look how they used to. “Is it possible we could figure out a different date?” Matt heard muttering on the other line of the phone.

“Sir it would be best if we could do it today, once we get it we will be able to move forward with the investigation.” Matt sighed before agreeing. Putting his phone down, Matt turned around to face his kids, who were looking at him.

“Your mom should be home soon, and some officers will be coming later today to ask a few questions.” Clay and Justin looked at each other. “Is that ok, boys?” Matt asked. Clay looked at him then Justin again who nodded at him trying to encourage Clay, taking a deep breath Clay turned back and nodded at Matt.

Time went by and Matt couldn’t help but want his sons to stay where he could see, Matt was relieved when Clay and Justin stayed in the living room. They decided that they were going to play board games. And just like that time passed fast.

Laine walked into the house and ignored everyone running straight to Clay, pulling him into her arms. “Oh my poor baby. Are you ok?” She hugged Clay tight. Clay didn’t push her away or even complained, which admittedly worried her even more.

Laine looked up with tears running down her face, “oh Justin c’m here” she waved Justin over who quickly joined the mother-son hug. It stayed like that for a moment. The moment was interrupted when the family heard a knock on the front door.

Matt walked over to the door, opening in. Matt was faced with an officer, opening the door for them. Turning toward Laine who looked at him with questions written all over her face, Matt turned toward the two officers. “You can sit down, I'll go get some water,” Matt grabbed Laine’s arm.

“What is happening Matt?” Laine asked, Matt started pulling out cups, “Clay did his statement, but couldn’t finish it, so they are here to ask questions for the investigation” Laine looked at the living room then him, “you didn’t think to tell me? Matt.”

Matt put down another cup, “I'm sorry Laine, everything was happening and I was so busy with Clay and Justin I guess it slipped my mind.” Laine sighed, rubbing her face, pacing back and forth. “Ok, I'm not mad just, Jesus Matt. How could something like this happen to our babies?” Matt set down his cup before walking toward his partner.”

“I don’t know, but we can talk more about this tonight. Right now we need to be there for Clay and Justin.” Laine nodded, cleaning her face, taking a deep breath. Matt watched as her lawyer mask slipped on. “Ok, lets go”

Clay was sitting nervously beside Justin infront of two officers while his parents were in the kitchen. Clay was trying to stay calm but he doesn’t think he can keep talking about that night. Clay can already feel his eyes and mind getting clouded just thinking about thinking about it.

Jumping a bit, Clay turned to look at Justin who was looking at him. “It’s ok, just breathe,” Clay nodded, taking deep breaths. Looking up when he heard the door open, seeing his parents walking into the room. His dad sat next to him while his mom stood behind him and Justin.

The officer set down a recorder once again, pushing play on it before speaking up. “Clay Jensen, do you understand what is happening and give consent?” “Yes,” the officer nodded at him, smiling at him slightly before looking at his parents and asked a similar question to which they agreed.

“Ok, first question did you see who raped you?” Clay was a bit surprised by the question and by the looks of it so was Justin. “Yes” “who raped you?” Clay grimace. “Bryce walker” “ok, you said you approached Bryce to buy weed.” Clay bit his lip, “yes” “did you consume any of the drug?” “no, I put it in my backpack right when I got it.”

“Did you consume any alcohol?” “no” “did you assault Bryce?” “yes, i did” “what happened after you accused Bryce?” “After I accused him and him, he said I wouldn't have done that and he beat me.” “you stated that Bryce raped you?” Clay was confused and uncomputable; he didn't understand why they kept asking very similar questions.

“Yes, I did” “Did you tell him no?” Clay blinked “uh, I, yes” “so you did tell Bryce no, out loud?” Clay looked at his dad, not knowing what to say. His dad looked pissed before he could say anything his mom spoke up. “What are you trying to say? Are you trying to insinuate that my son is lying about him being raped?”

The officer started to stutter to defend himself, the officer stood up. “That 's all, thank you for your time.” The officers stood up and walked out of the house. Clay leaned back into the couch sighing, Clay closed his eyes. He was so tired.

It didn’t take much time for the investigation to be completed and for the trial to begin. Clay and his family were on one side and Bryce and his lawyer were on the other side, the judge. ‘Emily Parlies’ pushed up her glasses.

She looked at him and Bryce squinting before leaning closer, “didn’t I see you boys a bit back already?” Clay’s lawyer stood up, “yes your honor, last time we were here, the case was dismissed on Mr Walker's side. But new things came up recently.”

The judge nodded looking at the papers “so what are the charges this time?” Clay’s lawyer walked up to the jude, handing her a file “My client has claimed with evidence that Bryce Walker raped him.” the judge looked up at that.

Looking at Clay before turning to look at Bryce, who had the same glasses that he had on last time he was accused of the same crime. The judge nodded “ok, let's get started” Clay’s lawyer stood up. “Before we continue I just want to state that Bryce Walker did not press any charges on Clay Jensen for assaulting him, and the case has been closed and this is a different one.” the judge nodded.

“Ok, now that that is cleared up.” he motioned for them to start. The two lawyers were sorting their papers until Clay’s lawyer stood up, I'll call Bryce up first." Bryce stood up, straightening his shirt before walking to the chair. After Bryce swore in, Bryce's lawyer stood up walking toward him.

”Bryce, would you say that you and Clay Jensen got along?” Bryce leaned forward “no we didn’t” the lawyer nodded. “Would you say that Clay Jensen dislikes you enough to accuse you of something like this?” Bryce frowns “me and Clay haven’t really talked at all but after his crush died he was obsessed with me, so I would say. Yes I can see him going this far.”

The lawyer nodded, “did Mr Jensen approach you on your own property to buy weed?” Clay’s lawyer stood up, “objection, Relevents?” the judge nodded “are you going anywhere with this?” Bryce's lawyer nodded. “Yes your honor, I'll make it.”

The judge nodded, “then make it.” Bryce's lawyer nodded before turning back toward Bryce “did Mr Jensen seem out of it?” Bryce nodded, “yes he seemed very out of it at the beginning.” “what about after? Mr jensen assaulted you? How did he seem after that?” Bryce glanced at Clay, who looked away quickly.

“He became very violent, he kept accusing me of things.” Bryce's lawyer nodded before asking one more question, “So do you think that Mr Jensen was mentally stable when this was happening?” Bryce made a sad looking face “no, I don't” his lawyer nodded. “That's all”

Clays lawyer stood up buttoning his suit, “Mr Walker can you please explain what exactly happened that night?” Bryce cleared his throat before starting, “I was watching some TV, until I heard my doorbell ring. So I answered it and Clay stood there asking to buy some weed. After that I led him inside and offered him some, but he didn't have the money so I told him he could pay me back later. After that he started accusing me of things and when I wouldn't admit to them he got angry and hit me.”

The lawyer nodded, “ok, what happened after he hit you?” “i told him to get out of my house” “did he leave” “yeah” “so you stated that Clay hit you because you wouldn’t admit to what he was accusing you of and then you told him to leave and he just left?” “yes” “what exactly was Mr Jensen accusing you of?”

Bryce glanced over at his lawyer, who stood up. “Objection, what does this have to do with anything your honor?” “Your honor, it matters because whatever it is was clearly important to my client, and it is what pushed the situation further.” the judge nodded “ok, answer the question”

“He was accusing me of rape” Clay’s lawyer paused dramatically before turning toward him, “really? so he accused you of rape, and you kept saying you didn’t but then you, raped him?” “Objection!” “i’ll back off, so you claimed that you didn’t admit to raping this person?” Bryce looked around. “Well.” “Well, did you?” “yes, I did say that”

Clays lawyer nodded, “ok, what about the fact that he recorded the situation of your confession, that's how you got probation in the last case. So how did my client get your confession?” “uh, well I might have said it early” “but you claimed that my client hit you because you wouldn’t admit to it” “I uh” “and Mr Walker did you know that the very next day my client had went to the hospital with severely broken bones”

Bryce was sweating profusely, “I didn't know” “So i'm going to ask once again, what happened after Clay Jensen hit you?” “I responded, when someone hits you almost everyone retaliates” “so Mr Jensen hits you one time, and that equals you physically beating him to the point of breaking his bones?”

Bryce looked around, glance at his lawyer who was too busy looking through his papers. ”What happened after you beat Mr Jensen?”” “he asked me again to admit to” “raping someone”. “Uh, yeah” “and you admitted it, right?” Bryce looked away. “Your honor badgering” “get to the point” Clay’s lawyer nodded. “After Mr Jensen asked you this did you rape him?” “no”. “You didn’t. Didn’t want him to shut up, so you made him shut up.”

“I uh.” “you wanted to show him that you could do whatever you wanted, and you wanted him to shut up. So you shut him up yourself! You raped Clay Jensen!” “I only di-” Bryce was about to yell but his lawyer stood up “objection!” Everyone stopped. “Don’t worry, your honor, I'm done.” Clay's lawyer walked back to sit next to clay.

A recess was called and Clay went to the bathroom looking up, he was face to face with “Justin? Are you ok?” Justin walked up to Clay, “yeah i'm fine. Bryce was so obviously going to confess, it's crazy." Clay nodded, “yeah.” Justin wrapped his arm around Clay's shoulders, “don’t worry, as soon as this is over. The whole thing will be put behind us, ok?” Clay took a deep breath before turning to his brother, “ok”

Justin smiled at Clay before pulling him into a hug. Justin rubbed Clay’s back, it has been quite a long few months. After the questioning Clay began to shut himself in, at first they were expecting this. Clay was just reminded of everything that happened that night and not only the but the cops also basically asked if Clay wanted it.

Justin and their parents were concerned but not as concerned as a week later, when Clay started acting like nothing happened. It worried a lot of them, Justin got where both of them were coming from. Hell, Justin once did the same exact thing, funny enough it was Clay who got him out of it and helped him.

And so Justin approached Clay about it, it didn’t go well at the beginning, at all. But after a second of Justin just letting Clay yell and scream at him,(even though everything he said wasn’t about Justin) Clay basically collapsed in tears. Slowly working himself into a panic attack, that is when Justin knew that it was his time to step in and help his brother.

Justin and Clay separated, Justin patted his brothers back. “You are doing great out there, don’t worry. It will be over soon. Ok” Clay nodded at him before heading out. Justin watched his brother leave, they just have to finish this trial and everything will be ok. Justin hopes.

Clay was sitting in the chair Bryce just was sitting in, a bit ago. Clay's lawyer walked up to him, “Mr Jensen, can you please explain to me what happened that night?” Clay swallowed,
“I approached Bryce's house, I wanted to get his confession.”

….

Clay walked up to the giant house, the ‘walkers’ house. Taking a deep breath, Clay was incredibly pissed. He wanted to storm in there and demand answers make Bryce admit what he did, but he knew he needed to approach the situation with caution.

Calming his heartbeat, Clay got off his bike, setting it down before walking up to the steps. Looking around it was pretty dark, Clay didn’t tell anyone where he was going. But that didn’t stop him, nothing could, he needed that confession.

Ringing the doorbell Clay tightened his grip on his backpack straps, he didn’t even realize he was holding in his breath until the door opened. “Jesen? What are you doing here?” Clay's mind went silent “I uh was just, I was wondering if you, I could buy some weed?”

Bryce looked at him, Clay shifted slightly. Did Bryce notice what Clay was planning? But how? What gave him away? “Yeah, sure man I did not think of you as a stoner, come on in man” Bryce opened the door wider for Clay to walk through.

Walking into Bryce's living room, Clay let out his breath. Feeling relieved and slightly ridiculous, how would Bryce find out what he was planning? Brcye walked past him to his living room, sitting down at the table.

“You have it in the living room?” Clay was surprised, he didn’t know anything about Bryce's family but it was hard to believe that any parent would be ok with weed being in the living room. “My parents are gone for the week, business trip” Bryce explained, Clay just nodded.

Clay started looking around while Bryce was getting the substance, “so do you want a 4th or an 8th? I usually get an 8th” Clay turned to look at Bryce not knowing what to say to the question. He's never bought weed before.

Bryce seemed to notice because he answered for him, “I'll give you what I usually get but I can't be someone who sells, but I can give you the number for mine” Clay just nodded along with what he was saying. “Ok that will be around 60 dollars.”

Clay took off his backpack, opening the big zipper. Clay pretended to look for his money while pushing record on his recorder. Bryce watched him before laughing him off, “don’t worry about it man you can just give me it in my next party.”

Clay nodded, putting down the bag of drugs into his backpack before slowly closing his bag. Clay knew he had to start asking now, or he wouldn't be able to get the confession. “So you have a lot of parties?” Bryce nodded looking quite smug about it, “yup, epic parties” “Hannah went to your last party”

Bryce lifted his eyebrow, “Hannah Baker? Sad about what happened to her, she was a pretty girl." Clay clenched his jaw before looking Bryce in the eyes, “you and Hannah, you had sex that night?” Clay stated more than asked.

Bryce scrunched his eyebrows, “did I, dude I might have?” he looked down at something, not that Clay was paying attention, too busy watching Bryce's face. Watching how Bryce spoke about it made him pissed and disgusted, “did she want you to?” Bryce laughed looking back at Clay.

“I assume so” Bryce stood up, “Hannah and I, well Hannah is a very special girl” patting Clay’s back before continuing, “we had a thing off and on” walking away from the table behind Clay, Clay turned around fast, “you raped her.”

Bryce turned to look at Clay, “what?” Clay squeezed his fist “you fucking raped her.” “dude” Bryce shook his head walking back to Clay, “Clay don’t talk about what you don’t know about.” Bryce was face to face with him, but Clay wasn’t backing down. Not now.

“Why did you do it?” Bryce pointed at his door, “thank you for coming, now get the fuck out of my house” Bryce started walking toward him, and Clay’s eyes followed “i’m not going until you admit it” “seriously Jensen” “say what you did.” Clay needed this confession.

“Say it!” “the fuck business is it of yours?””she was my friend!” “she’s died” Clay hasn’t felt so angry, “it doesn’t matter! Just say it!” Bryce moved his head to look Clay in he eyes, “you need to calm the fuck down” Clay moved closer, “no I need what I need”

“”Here, right out there a week before she fucking died at home, you raped her!” “she came to my party. Mine. she got in the hot tub with me. Without a bathing suit on. She fucking, she made fucking eyes." Bryce looked Clay up and down.

“I know that's hard to hear, that your little crush wasn’t pure and clean. But she fucking wanted it.” Bryce kept eye contact with Clay. Clay was having a hard time taking in his words, feeling disgusted creep up just from the words. Clay wanted to hurt Bryce, wanted Bryce to hear what he was saying and how utterly disgusting it was.

Clay just stared at him, his body moved before his mind could understand. His fist went through the air, slamming against Bryce's cheek. The blow barely did anything, Bryce's face barely moved a few inches.

Clay shook his fist slightly, Bryce stood up straight before looking at Clay, “now, why did you have to go and do that?” Bryce swong his fist slamming it against Clays face, basically knocking him on the floor. Byce didn’t wait long before punching him once again in the stomach, knocking him down completely.

Clay groaned breathlessly, “alright, come on up you go” Bryce helped Clay stand up. Before punching him over and over again. Not stopping until Clay fell onto the floor, Bryce proceeded to kick him numerous times until Clay stopped moving.

“She wanted me.” Bryce said, tilting his head to the side to look at Clay. “Me. She was practically begging me too. If thats rape, then every girl at this school wants to be raped." Bryce knelt down beside Clay, grabbing his face. “She and every girl gave me those eyes” Bryce moved Clay's face around.

Clay wouldn’t take his eyes off Bryce, he was so angry. “Like the ones you’re giving me.”Clay’s stopped breathing for a moment. A second ago Clay couldn’t move out of anger but now, now he couldn’t move out of pure fear.

“I guess the weed rumor wasn’t the only one true, huh.” Bryce lifted Clay up, “you want me, everyone wants me.”

Clay couldn’t keep going, his eyes already felt like they were watering. His lawyer nodded,”thank you Mr Jensen, just a few more questions. Ok?” Clay swallowed, “ok”

“Mr Jensen did Bryce Walker rape you after beating you so much that you couldn’t move” Clay closed his eyes tightly, “yes” his lawyer nodded, how long were you in the hospital?” “for two days, they wanted to make sure I didn’t have any internal damages” his lawyer nodded.

“Did Mr Walker approach you again after that night?” “he has, multiple times” his lawyer looked up in false surprise, “oh, really? What did Mr Walker do? What did he want?” “he kept trying to get me alone to talk.”

“Did he ever get you by yourself?” Clay nodded, “yes, he pulled me into a bathroom and told me that if I kept sticking my nose in his business then he would have to do something to stop me himself.” “So he threatened you?”

“Yes” his lawyer started walking back and forth once again, “did he do anything else?” Clay took a deep breath, “yes, he started to, started to touch me.” “started to touch you?” “Yes, very similar to how he did the last time, I ended up getting away.” his lawyer nodded.

“Wow so he not only threatened you but was also harassing you once again? Did he do anything to stop you from getting away?” “objection” the judge looked at Bryce's lawyer, “why are you abject?” “not relevant”

“I assure you your honor this is quite important.” the judge nodded, “go on” his lawyer repeated the question for the jury more than Clay, “Bryce sent someone after me, he chased me, but I couldn’t run straight, and kept stumbling into things.”

“What do you mean by ‘you couldn’t run straight’?' exactly?” “Well when Bryce held me against the wall he forced me to consume drugs.” “how did he do that?” “he plugged my nose and covered my mouth, stopping me from breathing, when he unplugged my nose, he forced me to breath in the drug.”

“So Mr Walker threatened you forced you to consume a mistories drug, then attempted to rape you and when you finally escaped he sent someone after you? Did I get that right Mr Jensen?” Clay nodded before speaking up, “yes, that is what happened”

……

“My last question Mr Jensen” his lawyer walked up to Clay, “ever sense that night, the night were Bryce Walker raped you, have you ever felt safe even once again?” Clay glanced at Bryce before looking away quickly, “no, I haven’t”

“That's all your honor” Clays lawyer went back to his seat, Bryce's lawyer stood up straightening his jacket up. “Mr jensen, you claim that my client raped you, isn’t that right Mr Jensen?” “Yes,” Bryce's lawyer nodded and hummed in thought.

“You approached Mr Walker on his own property, claiming to want to buy weed. Which I would like to remind everyone that this drug affects memories.” “objection, what does this have to do with anything?” Bryce's lawyer turned toward the judge, “your honor, this has plenty to do with the situation”

The judge let it go, but Bryce's lawyer looked back at him. Clay was nervous, he had an idea where it was going. “Did you consume any of the weed?” “no, I didn’t” “what about the time you claimed Mr Walker forced you to consume a drug?” “Well, yes I did but I don't know what it was” “so you did consume a drug” the lawyer interrupted him.

Clays lawyer interrupted the other lawyer, “objection, badgering” “i’m done” his lawyer sat back down, “in your medical history shows that you have mental issues, you even went to therapy and had medicine” Clay squinted, “yes, I do but both of them have nothing to do with memory."

“Would any of the medicine affect anything mentally?” Clay was getting frustrated now, “no they wouldn't. I had anxiety and depression when I was younger, I haven't been taking any medicine for almost a year and a half.” the lawyer raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, do you think maybe it came back and it affected something?” Clay clenched his jaw, “even if they did come back, once again it wouldn’t affect anything. Anxiety and depression has nothing to do with memories or any irrational decisions.”

“Ok, when you were in the bathroom how exactly did you get away from Mr Walker?” “I kneed him” “you kneed him? That seems quite violent. " " I was trying to get away from him.” Bryce's lawyer nodded pacing slightly.

“So you first punch Mr Walker when he wouldn’t admit to your accusations, then you kneed him? Are you sure that these disorders you have didn’t affect any of those actions?” Clay didn't know what to say, what could he say without repeating the same thing he said not even a minute ago?

“And you said that Mr Walker forced you to consume a drug, how exactly did he force you to do that?” “he stopped me from breathing and when he finally let me breath, he forced me to consume the drug.” “so he didn’t shove it down your throat or anything cause what your saying is that Mr Walker just held a drug up against your face and you breathed it in”

….

“He stopped me from breathing!” “did he also rape you? Or did you just lay there and let it happen?” Clay flinched back startled, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, but that didn’t stop Bryce's lawyer. “Did you tell him to stop? Or saying anything at all?” “yes, yes I did.”

“So why? If you knew so much about Mr Walker and what he was capable of, why did you go to his house alone?” “I, didn’t think he would do something like that.” “you didn’t think? But through this entire thing you were thinking pretty clearly.” “Bryce was always against people like that, I wouldn't have thought he would have done something like that.”

“So you didn’t think he would rape you, and you didn’t think he would drug you. Is there anything else you wouldn’t think he would do?” Clay's lawyer stood up. “Your honor, he's not going anywhere with this all he's doing is badgering my client.”

…..

The judge nodded looking at Bryce's lawyer, “wrap it up” Bryce's lawyer nodded, “yes your honor” he said smiling before turning to clay once again. “Could you tell me right now that you know who my client is?” Clay frowned before taking a second to answer. “No”

“My client is a high school boy who has been accused of crimes he did not commit and he opened his door for Mr Jensen only from him to hit him and accuse him of horrid things. He was accused by mentally confused kid ” Bryce's lawyer stated that he was done and sat down.

The judge nodded and Clay went back to sit where his seat was, next to his lawyer. The jury all stood up and walked into a room behind the judge, everyone else stood up and walked out of the courtroom. Clay barely took two steps when his brother found him.

“Clay, are you ok? That fucking piece of shit! Was he trying to make you sound insane?” Justin ranted to Clay while they were walking down the hallway. Clay wasn’t saying anything, he didn’t know what to say. Logically he knew that his mental issues were not going to affect him that way, but he was seeing shit, people, Hannah.

Did he imagine it? What happened with Bryce? No there is no way, the pain, the harm, the memories it can’t be his imagination. He had recorded evidence, he shouldn’t let the stupid lawyer get into his head. “Clay?”

Clay looked up, “huh?” Justin looked at him with deep concern. “Are you ok? Feeling faint, should I go get someone?” Clay smiled a bit, shaking his head. “No, I'm ok. I was just thinking about everything that has been happening, it's a lot. I guess”

Justin nodded, “yeah, but don’t worry once this is over we can go home and things will get better.” Clay smiled at Justin, at his brother. Justin wrapped his arm around Clay's shoulders.

Everyone was back into the courtroom including the jury, the judge was looking at some paper before finally looking up ready to announce the verdict. “From what the evidence and testifies the jury has decided that Bryce Walker is”

The judge took a deep breath almost like she was trying to exaggerate to them, it was deadly quiet for what felt like hours. “Guilty” Clay felt his shoulders fall, tears falling out of his eyes. “You will be in juvie until you reach the legal age and spend 8 years in prison” the judge concluded slamming down the Maltet.

Once the Jensens were out of the courtroom Matt could help but hug the daylights out of his sons, Laine didn’t take much time to join the hug. Clay couldn’t help but sob in relief, it was over. It was finally over, he got revenge for Hannah and Jessica and, “for me”

Walking down the hall, things were finally started looking like it was going to be ok. People say that time fixes wounds and that once you get closure things start to feel like normal. Well Clay has one thing to say to that. Bullshit. Things don't get better as soon as the threat leaves, no.

For months Clay couldn’t have a silent night, hands, breath, he felt things that he couldn’t see, he cried and yelled at people and things that didn’t do anything wrong. He felt dirty and like his stuff, body wasn’t his. Like what has been his whole life got stolen.

It took months of therapy to be able to walk around not looking at every corner, and it didn’t just get better it got bad, then worse and Clay has never felt like he wanted to just stop everything so much but.

The sunlight started to show up, Clay finally was able to walk into a room and smile. He was able to take off his jacket and keep it off for hours at a time, his safety net. That doesn’t mean that everyday was like that, he still had days he just couldn’t look in the mirror. A simple touch can make him cry like a kid.

It took a long time to realize that what happened with Bryce wasn’t the only thing that caused all this pain and hurt, but it was also Skye and Hannah. They hurt him, unlike Bryce they didn’t mean too, but they did. And when Clay realized this he didn’t feel as horrible as he did before.

Clay took a long time to realize that just because they went through hard things doesn’t mean it is his fault that he didn’t know, because as his new therapies have stated that he wasn’t their parents he wasn’t an adult and he wasn’t the one to cause them harm to them. It wasn’t his fault.

“Heyyy” Clay looked up just realizing that he was basically surrounded by his friends, his brother standing beside him and his best friends both short and tall ones, were right beside him too. “So we decided that we are going to hang out today, all together. Sense today is the last day of school we are going to head to Monets first”

Justin explained leading Clay to their car, “and don’t you worry, I already asked mom” Clay shoved Justin off, “of course you did, you text mom like she’s your best friend” Justin made a noise of offense, “you’re just jealous” “jealous? Of who? You?” Clay got into the passenger seat, Justin just elbowed him in response.

Things were ok and Clay was ok, and his family is ok. Looking out the window of his car door, seeing a similar silhouette standing by the bike holder. Clay stared at them, knowing exactly who it was and for the first time in what felt like his whole life. He wasn’t sad about the distinct growing between them.

The dead should rest and not be bothered, people shouldn’t go on with life unpunished and life doesn’t stop just because yours feels like it was destroyed. Everyone goes through things, just because they don't talk about it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

I realized every one of these things the hard way, and even if I am healing doesn’t mean it will ever go away. But looking around at the people surrounding me, the people waiting for me at my home. They make me a little more than willing to keep going, and hey I might even help people who went through similar things I went through. -CJ

Shutting his journey, Clay looked into the mirror fixing his cap. It wasn’t the ending of his world, it was the end of this chapter. And the next one was about to start as soon as he walked out of his small building. Taking a look around, he was all alone but for some reason he never felt happier. He wasn’t leaving anyone behind, and nobody was leaving him.

They were waiting for him behind the door, his new chapter.