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Once the adrenaline wears off, Vex starts to worry.
He’s here - he’s alive. They all are, at least for the moment, though with Raishon now in the mix, who knows how long that will last? But they’re being determinedly optimistic - if they can get past Glintshore, they can get past anything. Together.
But now, everyone knows her heart. Everyone, that is, but Percy.
Vex has never been fond of baring her heart to others; it’s a good way to get yourself hurt, and she’s hurt too much in her life. She can give advice to the contrary to Keyleth, and only feel a little hypocritical - after all, she knows her brother, and knows he’ll be an amazing partner, however long he and Keyleth have together. She knows that they’re both the kind of people who need someone else to lean on, someone to fight for. They’re better together. They’re more together.
She is … well, she feels a bit less now, since she gave up that little secret, the one that had warmed her heart with “maybe” and made her feel less alone.
She can’t regret it. She made a sacrifice - her secret for his life. She’d do it again. She’d give up her heart, her eyes, her tongue, whatever it took to bring Percy back to this life. And despite everything, she feels full again when she sees him walking with them, when she hears his voice and thinks he was almost gone.
She doesn’t need her heart. She just needs to know that her heart lives.
(Vex is disgusted with herself sometimes, when she starts to think like this. She’s mocked her brother for being significantly less melodramatic. But if this is how you start to think when you’re in love … okay, she’d be lying if she said she’d choose to not fall. She just knows she has to keep this weird romantic part of her locked up tight, so no one knows how ridiculous she actually is.)
So she’s stuck in this weird sort of in-between place, and she doesn’t like it. Her brother looks at her sometimes, like he expects her to do something. Declare herself in the middle of a battle, like he did? Put herself out there and then wait to find out if anything comes of it? She’s not brave enough for that. She’s not as strong as Vax, not in this way. And Keyleth looks like she’s on the verge of saying something occasionally - Vex quickly speaks over her, because she doesn’t want to hear what Keyleth has to say. Maybe it would be a pep talk, like the one Vex gave - life is short, embrace love, all those lovely things that Vex can’t quite tell herself. But maybe it would be caution - Keyleth knows Percy better than any of them, and she might know something Vex doesn’t. She might know whatever Percy feels for Vex - or doesn’t feel. And honestly, Vex isn’t ready for the truth, not if it might be something that makes her feel like even less.
Scanlan, oddly, she trusts - or, at least, she trusts him to make such a joke of everything that even if he does blurt something out, Percy will never take it seriously.
She never, ever thinks it will be Grog that outs her. Until it happens.
She doesn’t know how the conversation starts, or even how it got to this point. She walks into the mansion’s kitchen to see Percy rummaging through a drawer and Grog chowing down on a chicken leg. “... what will happen,” Percy is saying, his voice muffled.
Grog shrugs. “I mean, Vex is in love with you, I thought you guys might, you know, do that.”
Vex freezes. So does Percy. Grog finally sees her. “Oh, hi Vex. Want some chicken?”
She flees. She’s not proud of herself, but it’s the only thing she can do. She runs upstairs to her bedroom and closes herself in.
She can’t decide if she’s grateful or devastated when no one comes to her door.
Eventually, after restringing her bow and polishing her armor until it gleams, her muscles tire of her stress, and she collapses onto her bed. She drifts off to sleep, knowing she’ll have to put on her best face in the morning, pretend Grog doesn’t know what he’s talking about. It won’t be hard, she figures, because, well, Grog. She can fix this. She can make everything go back to normal. She’ll figure out how to live with the heavy ball that sits in her stomach. It’s okay. It will be okay. Her disappointment, her embarrassment - it’s all worth it, because Percy’s alive.
She falls into a restless sleep. Inside the mansion, there’s no indication of time, so she has no idea what time it is when she hears a soft knock on her door.
Percy’s on the other side. Of course she is. Because it would be too much to ask to let her gather her wits before dealing with this. Or at least to look like a halfway desirable woman, instead of a goblin with a half-undone braid and pillow creases on her cheek. “Hello,” he says, shifting from one foot to another.
“Percy.” She sighs. “I can save you the time and the awkwardness, if you want.”
“I’d ask how, but I’m afraid I know the answer.” He gives her a small smile. “Can I come in?”
She steps aside, and steels herself for whatever is to come. “Percy, I -”
“I needed to ask someone else,” he interrupts her. “I don’t necessarily trust Grog to understand … well, anything, and I had no idea how he’d know something like that. I’d usually ask Keyleth, but she was with Vax, and quite frankly I was afraid Vax would stab me no matter what the truth was. And Pike isn’t here, so that just left Scanlan. Who … well, you probably understand my problem there.”
Vex sits down on her bed and tries not to let her head drop into her hands. “Percy, I really -”
“But Scanlan was my only choice,” Percy continues, pacing the room, not acknowledging her, “so I went to him. I didn’t expect him to be so earnest about it. Nor did I expect him to threaten me the way Vax would have.”
Okay, now Vex is totally lost. “He did what?”
“He adores you, Vex. Everyone does. You’re a very easy woman to adore.” Now, finally, Percy stops moving. He stands in front of her, his hands twitching nervously at his side before crossing in front of his chest. “He told me about the ritual. Bringing me back.”
“I figured he would.” Vex concentrates on a spot on his vest, maybe a tiny spot of blood that they didn’t manage to get out. `
There’s a long moment of silence. Finally, Percy shifts again. “Vex, I -”
“No, stop.” This time, she interrupts him. She finally looks him in the eye. “I didn’t say it expecting anything. I’ve never expected anything. I wanted nothing but you, alive, here with us like always.” She takes a deep breath. “Yes, you have my heart. I don’t want it back, and I’m not asking for yours in return. I don’t expect you to feel the same way about me. I never wanted you to feel awkward, or obligated, or anything like that. So don’t.”
“I don’t.”
“Oh. Well, good.” He doesn’t speak again for a moment, so Vex gets up and crosses to the door just to have something to do. “Why don’t we just consider this a closed subject, and -”
“Vex.” She feels his hand land tentatively on her shoulder. “Will you give me a chance to speak?”
No, she wants to say. No, I’m scared and I need this facade to see me through.
She doesn’t want to be a coward. No one else here is a coward. Not even Percy, no matter what he thinks.
“Percy,” she says softly, in agreement.
He gently turns her around. “I just spent the last hour trying to figure out how to say this. I came up with a whole speech, but it eventually occurred to me that you’d probably punch me in the face if I said anything about not deserving you.”
“Good call,” Vex says dryly, which makes him chuckle.
“I’ve been trying - since I got back, but even before that - to accept the love and regard all of you give me. It’s not easy. I’m broken, which is a fact that’s been confirmed by a higher power.” Percy gives her a half smile. “My heart is an ugly, shriveled thing, not much good for anyone. But I didn’t actually realize it was no longer mine until I happened upon you back there in the Feywild. I realized then that I’d tear down the world for you, Vex’ahlia. Which scared the ever-living fuck out of me, if I’m being honest.”
Vex is utterly still. “I don’t want you to tear down the world,” she whispers, not trusting her voice. “I want you to build one. With me.”
“That’s infinitely harder. But if you’re willing to take a chance on me and my army of personal demons …” Percy hesitates, before continuing, “I’m yours. I have been for quite some time.”
“You’re sure?”
He reaches over and lays a tentative hand on her cheek. She leans into his touch, sighing. “I’m sure. I’m still not sure I deserve you, but I promise to try my best.”
“You deserve the world,” Vex says, before she leans up to kiss him softly on the mouth. “And I’m going to be here to kick your ass until you believe that.”
The kiss Percy claims from her is far, far less chaste. When she’s gasping for breath, he leans his forehead against hers. “I look forward to it.”
The next morning, Vex gives Grog and Scanlan both enthusiastic, smacking cheek kisses at breakfast. Grog is utterly perplexed - and wipes his cheek at the first opportunity - but Scanlan just winks at her. “I knew you couldn’t resist me forever.”
“You fill my heart with joy, darling,” she says, grinning. And it’s true. She has a heart after all - a bigger one than its previous owner gives it credit for being, and she intends to guard it with her life.