Chapter Text
“I’m sorry — You did what?!” Lou Ellen exclaimed in disbelief, the fork — gripped in her right fist — slamming onto the wooden table.
Cecil Markowitz — child of Hermes — joined the conversation while taking a sip of his drink, “Seems like you had an eventful winter without us, Solace. You and your boyfriend.” He nudged Will’s shoulder with his own, earning a tired sigh from the medic.
Lou Ellen slammed her fist down on the table again. Will opened his mouth to tell her to quit it, as they were already getting weird stares from the rest of the campers, but the rushed tone that the daughter of Hecate held stopped him from getting a single word out. “Okay. Okay, fine! Are we just going to ignore the fact that sunshine and smiles over here went to the deepest parts of hell for days—“
“I think it was months. He said it was months, right?”
“Hard to tell down there.”
Lou Ellen jabbed her fork at the two before continuing, “Went to the deepest parts of hell with his boyfriend for a self-discovery journey? Do you know how— how insane that sounds, Will?”
Will sighed and leaned his arms on the table, speaking in a more hushed tone than the other two. “It’s more than a ‘self-discovery journey’ to Nico, Lou, and you know that. I’m only telling you two because we’re friends. I don’t want word to get out that this happened.”
“Why not?” Cecil interjected, “You survived Tartarus, dude. You should be getting a reward for that.” Lou Ellen snorted at Cecil’s comment, but her silent response indicated that she agreed.
“It’s more than reward and glory, guys. I’m just glad to have helped Nico!” Will spread his hands and gestured in the air unspecifically. “After the trip to…” He whispered the next part so others wouldn’t try to eavesdrop, “Tartarus, he’s felt… happier. Better. He laughs more naturally, and the coco puffs—“ Lou Ellen and Cecil exchanged looks at the mention of the coco puffs, creatures and living embodiments of Nico’s negativity brought to life by Nyx when they fought, “— have totally been helping too. Though, they don’t appear as much as we expected. Definitely more at night, but they’re, like, dormant during the day. Anyways, I’m happy that he’s happy.”
“And… what about you, Will? How have you been doing since then?” Cecil asked, his tone speaking more volumes than his words could ever do. His tone was alike to the one that Will used with his patients when they had a serious injury or were bleeding out. Will bit his tongue from noting that and mentioning the tinge of resentment he felt for being talked to that way. It’d be a bit hypocritical, to be honest.
“I just said I was happy.”
Lou Ellen crossed her arms and shook her head, “No, you said you were happy that Nico’s happy.”
“Ain’t that the same thing?”
“Nu uh.”
“Nope.”
A moment of silence lingered between the three, two pairs of eyes fixated on Will, waiting for a response. Will fidgeted with the edges of his cup.
“… It’s been… ha—“ Before Will could open up, Nico emerged from a shadow behind Cecil, placing a hand on the son of Hermes and inevitably surprising him. Cecil jumped at the contact and whipped his head around to look at Nico who was grinning at the three. Grinning.
“Hey.” Nico said with an exhale. His eyes lingered around the two, before landing on Will. “Good morning.” Will — as usual — reciprocated his grin. How could he not when it’s clear that Nico was in a good mood?
“Mornin’, Death Boy.” Will teased.
“Mind if I… uh, sit?” Nico asked. To the untrained observer — or at least someone who wasn’t around Nico 24/7 — one wouldn’t think Nico was a bit nervous. Or shy. Or hesitant. More so bored than anything. Luckily for Will, he was not an untrained observer, but a Demi-god of adept intuition with capabilities in reading people. Especially when it came to his significant annoyance.
“Duh. The bench won’t swallow you whole, Neeks.”
Will patted the empty space next to him. Nico left Cecil’s shoulder — the Hermes boy evidently relaxing afterwards — and obliged to sit next to the medic. Will opened his palm, resting the backside on the table. He left it open in case Nico wanted to hold his hand. Just in case.
Will knew that Nico wasn’t the type to search for physical contact. Holding hands, hugging, resting a hand on another’s shoulder — those kinds of stuff. But Nico’s improved since then. After a long time of thinking everyone at camp hated him, the son of Hades finally realized that it was the opposite. Yeah, he was weird (Nico’s words, not his. Will only listened.) but no one at camp hated his guts. They knew Nico’s skill, his power, and his undying determination against challenges along his path. He just needed that single push to improvement. Will is glad for him.
“Uh, so—!” Lou Ellen clasped her hands and rested them back on the table, “Will was just telling us about your trip of self-discovery.”
Nico stared at her blankly, then glanced at Will. Will averted his gaze.
Cecil cleared his throat, “Yeah, and he was just about to tell us how he’s been doing as of late. After the, uh, trip.”
Will opened his mouth to speak, but a cold sensation — or touch, rather — slipped into his open palm. Nico held his hand and gripped it, as if offering support. Support. (Why would he need support? He’s the support system.)
“I told Will when we came back that if he wanted to talk to Mr. D, I could help.” Nico said to Will’s friends. “But he’s stubborn.”
“Just like you, babe.” Nico rolled his eyes at Will’s jest.
“Eurgh, hit the showers.” Lou Ellen said with an exaggerated shudder. Cecil chuckled at her actions.
“All things aside, I’m fine, guys. Really.” Will said with his signature smile. Nico let go of Will’s hand (two minutes of the dating kind of physical contact with Will. That was a new record!) and rested it back on the table.
Lou Ellen and Cecil looked at him skeptically, with Lou opening her mouth to probably mention the lack of sincerity in Will’s voice, but a loud sound of the horn radiated in the air. Everyone’s heads turned to Chiron at the front, signaling the end of breakfast and the start of the normal daily schedule for all campers.
“You two,” Will pointed at Lou Ellen and Cecil as he stood up from the bench, Nico doing the same, “have the same schedule. Arts and Crafts, right?” Will didn’t wait for an answer as he turned to Nico now.
“And you have archery first?” Will asked Nico.
Nico nodded.
“Aw, I won’t be teaching archery today. Chiron switched my schedules a bit.” Will pouted.
“I’m very glad you aren’t.”
Will gasped and put a hand to his chest, feigning disbelief. “Hey! I may suck at archery, but I’m amazing at leading—“
“Okay, okay! We’ve seen enough of you two. Gods, I should’ve just sat in the Hecate table when I had the chance…” Lou Ellen murmured as she walked away with her plate to scrape the remains of her food into the fire to offer to the Gods before starting the training.
“Hey— Wait up!” Cecil picked up his plate too and hurriedly caught up to Lou Ellen.
“What are you going to be doing today?” Nico’s voice brought Will’s awareness back as he turned his head to Nico.
“Me? I’ll be in the Infirmary until lunch. Gotta sort some paperwork and inventory out as the head medic.” Will playfully — and softly — punched Nico’s shoulder. Nico hummed and nodded.
“I’ll see you later, then?” Nico said, unsure and doubtful.
“Of course, Debbie Downer. Cheer up! Not like I’ll be goin’ back to Tartarus for a second round.” Will said jokingly, the end of one side of his mouth twitching slightly. (The lack of warmth in that dark, scary place was something Will never thought he’d feel. Maybe not until he died on the battlefield saving someone or—or some shit that Demi-gods would do. No, he felt that… that lacking coldness. It didn’t feel good.)
“Don’t even joke about that, Will.” Nico said with an exasperated sigh. He pat Will on the shoulder and brushed past him to leave. Will turned to him and shouted back when Nico was somewhat far from him already.
“Then when will I ever be able to joke about it, huh, Mr. Dark Lord?” Will cupped his hands around his mouth, his lips turned upwards into a smile.
Nico — still in Will’s line of sight — flipped him off, leaving Will chuckling to himself. To himself. Alone. Where the four of them had previously sat, where the memories of Tartarus — regardless of the topic of Will and Nico’s trip in Tartarus making up the entirety of the conversation — had seemed to leave him alone for a while.
Will’s smile dimmed as he continued to watch Nico walk in the distance. Some campers (Will didn’t seem to recognize them, but that was understandable considering Will could only see the back of their heads) jogged after Nico, stopping him. They… engaged in a conversation with Nico. He didn’t push them away, didn’t ignore them. Didn’t even glare at them (at least from what Will could see). Instead, they continued walking with Nico in the same direction towards the archery site, all buddy-buddy with him. Nico turned his head in one of the camper’s direction and — this part surprised Will a teensy bit — smiled at them, probably at a joke that the camper made considering the others around them were evidently laughing to it.
Will stood motionless to it all. He wasn’t the jealous type, and this wasn’t jealousy. He was genuinely glad for Nico, glad that his boyfriend had finally overcome his inner demons. Literally.
But some dark part inside him (a surprise even to Will) ached. It made him clench his fists, made him grit his teeth and bite his tongue. It made him continue to stare at nothing specific.
It hurt, like really hurt. More than a migraine, definitely less than an amputation of course, but similar to the feeling of getting your heart shaken while the blood vessels and arteries attached to it were still, y’know, attached. He’s had this feeling occur more often after Tartarus.
It wasn’t… it didn’t affect him when Nico and he were alone, waiting for summer to return alongside the other Demi-gods.
So… Will thought that he was fine. That Tartarus didn’t really get to him. All he felt was relief watching the boy he loved finally start to heal from all the death that surrounded them in this life.
“Mr. Solace, my boy, are you okay?” The voice of an old and wise man jolted him back to reality. Will whipped his head around, meeting Chiron’s gaze.
Somewhat.
Will had to lift his head up a little to actually meet Chiron’s gaze since the mentor was in his centaur form. Behind him, however, was Mr. D in all his godly glory. With a cup in his hand that probably held some sort of non-alcoholic drink, evident from the never-changing grumpy expression on his face.
Will cleared his throat, realizing he was just staring at the two. “Peachy. Why?”
“Because everyone left and yer just standing there like you’ve seen a ghost.” Mr. D said ever so bluntly, taking a sip of his drink after saying his mind. He was wearing his usual horridly purple shirt matched with… jorts? Hard to tell on his legs.
“What Mr. D means to say—“
“He knows what I meant, old-timer.” Mr. D snapped at Chiron.
“Uh…” Will’s eyes fleeted from Mr. D to Chiron unsurely before answering.
“Yeah, yeah no I’m fine, Chiron. Mr. D. Just… tryin’ to remember somethin’ before I head on out to the med tent.” Will gave a winning smile to sell his story and ensure that actual truth — where he was undoubtedly spiraling into his thoughts — was hidden from the two. All peachy.
Chiron glanced at Mr. D, though the god didn’t meet his gaze, eyes fixated on Will.
“… Will, son, I know that Nico has already said it once before, but if you ever need to talk to Mr. D, the office is—“ Chiron was quickly interrupted by a somewhat panicky Will.
“I’m fine! Oh, look at the time — I should get to opening the med bay! Lots of, uh, new campers. Need orientation to the infirmary rules, y’know? Catch you two later!”
Before either of the two could protest (or at least before Chiron could. Mr. D, as per usual, didn’t care. Or was just silent. Will didn’t take a second look), Will was quick on his feet and hurriedly left the scene. He heard a soft, faint sigh from behind him as he continued to walk away.
————
Will was in his own private office, accessible only to the head medic and their select few, reviewing patient reports within the last three days. Over his orange camp-sanctioned T-shirt and cargo shorts was a white doctor’s coat. The summer camp program in Camp Half-Blood had started about six days ago, but the campers had only started coming in bunches around three days after. Nico helped him prep the infirmary, and he was lucky that he did get help, because the same three days ago was when many injured — and new — half-bloods were brought in by their satyrs. Young ones, the youngest one being about ten years old, and the oldest being thirteen. As Will flipped through the pages, the injuries of the new campers varied very little.
Attacked by a wild hellhound. Camper sustained mild injuries, ranging from cuts and scrapes not deep enough to require stitches, to a giant bruise on the left side of abdomen obtained from said hellhound after trying to protect their downed satyr. Medical assistance given was a wound disinfection and an ice pack. Camper was told to rest in one of the cots for two days before being escorted for the camp tour. A check in was scheduled in a week’s time to ensure no infections.
Dragged around by an angry harpy when arrived at camp. Camper sustained one injury — a broken arm. Said camper was given treatment, which was a cast, some antibiotics for the pain, and a reminder to not try to feed the wandering harpies at camp bread crumbs by throwing it on the ground, mimicking the act of feeding pigeons. Advised to return after two months to see the healing process of the broken arm.
A mild concussion obtained after bumping their head on a hard surface when debriefed on the effects and doings of the mist. The new camper is resting in a cot, being monitored by a medic at all times to avoid adding more injury to the body. Said camper will be sent to counseling with Mr. D after plentiful rest.
Will slammed the papers back on his desk. He puts his hands on his face and groans. Not even a week into the start of the summer, and these newbies seemed to like the pain and thrill that has entered their lives.
Okay, that was mean. No demi-god in this whole camp actually enjoys being a half-blood. Having their life change a lot at such a young age. Will should set his mind straight; he’s being too harsh. The stress was getting to him.
Alongside these frequent nightmares he’s been having? Yeah, not good. Nightmares are a window to one’s soul, an embodiment of one’s self-consciousness, trying so hard to communicate something with its owner. And it seems like Will’s nightmares are trying to tell him that he was, in fact, not doing so well after Tartarus.
They started a month after he and Nico returned to camp with Bob and Small Bob. The first dream he remembered vividly.
Will stood in knee-deep waters, the color tainted black and nothing more. No movement he could hear around him, not even the splashing of water around his feet as he tried to move through it. He’s had nightmares before, when he was younger and had just arrived in camp. Michael Yew helped him through them, offering breathing techniques and ultimately teaching him to conquer them. After conquering these old nightmares of his, they never appeared again. Until now, that is.
But this nightmare was unlike any other. It was just… pure silence. No dramatic scene where his mom was being dragged away by near-indestructible birds, no grotesque moment of Will kneeling next to bodies of kids he called his friend when he arrived in Camp Half-Blood, no ear-deafening screams of the people he loved—
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
… Okay. That was definitely a scream. Or a screech? Sounded like birds—
“Will.” A whisper in his ear made Will jump in spot. He whipped his head around to the source of the noise, but nothing was there. He continued frantically turning his head around to find it. But still nothing.
“Will.” It was above him this time. Will quickly looked up, but still saw nothing. He was definitely going crazy. But this was just a dream. Nothing more, nothing less—
And at that very moment, at that very thought that all this could be a dream, as quickly as he dismissed it all did his opinion change when he felt the water around his knees and below suddenly dissipate, alongside the bottom he was standing on.
Now, he was free-falling into darkness, the familiar feeling he experienced months ago with Nico. But his partner wasn’t here to comfort him, to whisper his love into his ear.
His breathing turned frantic as the void continued to engulf him. He felt his lungs turn to water — maybe figuratively, maybe literally — and his eyes stung from the rapid winds barely slowing his descent. That and the tears that formed too. He could feel the exact moment the light within him went out, how he could only feel that emptiness once more. He didn’t have anything. Going to Tartarus had been a mistake, a fatal mistake.
Just as he opened his mouth to breathe, finding that the air going inside his lungs lit a burning fire that genuinely hurt inside him, he woke up.
He woke up, sweating, panting, and clutching his chest with one hand, trying to find a rhythm in his breathing, while the other dug into the sheets of his bed. He woke up, alone in the Apollo cabin, with nothing but a small nightlight on the floor next to his bed to comfort him.
Will shuddered at the memory. Many more came after that, and many more led to him sweaty and awake in the middle of the night. He started sleeping with the lights on in the cabin after that, but now that the Apollo cabin had other inhabitants besides him, the lights couldn’t stay on. Neither could his nightlight if he wanted to ensure that everyone else in the cabin slept peacefully. Naturally, it was his job as the cabin counselor to do so.
He considered talking to Mr. D about this before he actually goes manic and ends up destroying public property. But there’s never enough time, and Mr. D wasn’t really the first person you’d call comforting.
Will leaned back in his swivel chair and closed his eyes for a second. He was getting enough sleep, but each sleep came with a nightmare. Though, he couldn’t just not sleep either. So it was a small price to pay just to keep up appearances. Because if he showed up to breakfast with dark circles under his eyes every day, Nico would question. He doesn’t want to worry Nico, because the boy was finally getting an as-normal-as-Demi-godly-possible life. And if Will starts visibly deteriorating in front of him, the son of Hades will start to blame himself for letting Will tag along. Neither of them need to carry that burden, especially in their relationship.
So after calming tea after calming tea, he’s been handling all of… this.
Will abruptly stood up, his chair moving slowly backwards and hitting against the wall with a short thump. He needed some fresh air, and…
Will glanced at the wall clock in his office. He moved around his table towards the window looking outside, pulling the curtain up to be met with some actual sunlight.
… and it was almost lunch. His shift at the infirmary should have ended by now, and after lunch, he’ll be watching after the campers and mentoring archery sessions with Kayla. Will sighed at the thought — archery. Not a talent he was born with, but forced to like because he was the son of the God of archery.
Will moved towards his door, twisting the knob to leave the confines of his private office and enter the airy, medicinal center of the classic infirmary. Cots — empty and occupied, messy (he’ll have to clean that up later for sure because no one seems to be noticing it so far) and clean — laid around. Beeping monitors and carts and trolleys were plentiful, all filled with medical supplies and first aid kits. It wasn’t as busy as it usually was, mostly just some campers that wanted medical advice for something. There were some others who came back for a check-up on their wounds and stitches.
Will walked around leisurely, hands behind his back. He checked on some equipment, double checked on the expiration dates of some pills (as well as the stock to the best of his memory. This whole place was filled with dysfunctional and rebellious teens, of course he was going to ensure that no one got high on his watch), and arranged some of the messy cots. Everything seemed in order (thanks to him).
In the distance, a horn blared for the second time today. Will turned his attention to the source of the horn, glancing at the campers around him as some of them started packing up, while others hung their stethoscopes and tools to walk to the Mess Hall.
“Will!” A light, cheery voice shouted at him from his left side (not the dark, eerie one from his first nightmare since coming back. Thank the Gods for that). Will turned his head around and was met by a ginger, beautiful abomination of a half-sister, Kayla Knowles. Her bow string was hung across her chest, while the bow was behind her. She rested her hands on her hips as she came to a stop before Will.
“Isn’t that gonna loosen the bow?” Will pointed at the bow on Kayla. She shrugged.
“Nah. Maybe. Who cares? Come on, Austin’s waiting for you at the table. And your boyfriend too.”
“Yeah, yeah.. Yeah, alright.” Will said as he brushed past Kayla and walked the distance to the Mess Hall. He heard the crunching of grass beneath Kayla’s boots behind him as she caught up.
“… So, you want to tell me what’s on your mind, Solace? Girl problems? Actually, scratch that — trouble in paradise with you and Eternal-Lord-of-Darkness over yonder, then?” Kayla came up next to Will, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Will shrugged her off, keeping up their pace.
“… Yeah, you aren’t giving me much, cowboy. Seriously, what’s wrong? You do know some of us can tell that ever since the start of summer, you’ve been on edge? Honest to the twelve Olympians.” Will faltered in his steps for a moment, but he quickly regained momentum as he crossed his arms and met Kayla’s mischief with his own.
“Nah, K. I’m fine, really! Just hungry.” He grinned convincingly.
“Hungry doesn’t last for days unless you’re starving yourself, Texas. Come on~!” Kayla kept up the pace as he shook Will by the shoulders. Will stopped walking and gripped Kayla’s shoulders so she would do the same.
“Look, Kayes, I’m fine! See?” Will winked and smiled brighter. As if that would convince her, he cringed to himself.
He was fine. He needed to be fine. For his siblings, his patients, Nico. He couldn’t ruin this once-in-a-lifetime chance for actual peace, no matter how brief.
Kayle pursed her lip, but ultimately gave in with a long sigh. She nods defeated, but still smiles. “Just lemme know when you wanna talk. About anything, really. Including you waking up in a sweat late at night, leaving the cabin to breathe outside, and returning only before the crack of dawn.” Will’s jaw hung open at Kayla’s words, words that shocked Will like lightning had struck him. He thought he hid it well—
“I didn’t tell anyone.” Kayla quickly reassured, “Only me and Austin have noticed. Y’know, since us three are the oldest in the Apollo cabin.” A tinge of sadness hid behind those words. “We just know how you operate, and lately… it’s been off—“
“Let’s just get to lunch.” Will cut her off quickly. “We still have the joint archery lesson to teach, remember?”
He cannot handle confrontation. Not now, maybe not ever. He can’t have another one of his worlds fall apart again.
Kayla’s silence held a lot, but she gave in and just nodded. The rest of the way to lunch in the Mess Hall was quiet.
———
“If you leave your fingers open like that, the arrowhead will find its target through the palm of your hand, kid.” Will said as he moved closer to the camper to adjust their grip on everything. “Trust me, I’d know.”
“By experience or by treating?” The camper joked. The kid was maybe not more than thirteen. They were a new arrival about three days ago, Will remembered. Mostly because this kid was a troublesome one, having already five stamps in their medical report card in the Infirmary.
“Both. Now focus.” Will strained his smile. He ruffled the kid’s hair before moving forward. Next to him, Kayla spoke aloud.
“Alright newbies! We’ve fixed your grip and your stance for the fifth time, so just fire!”
“Not at us!” Will quickly added, considering Kayla and he were in front of the targets. He quickly dragged Kayla to the back behind all the campers. “Okay, now you can fire.”
Following their instructions, the arrows zipped through the air. Some landed on the target, some lost momentum and hit the grass below the target, while others… Well, Will can’t judge much.
“It’s a… start.” Kayla whispered to Will, forcing a small laugh out of him.
“Well, not everyone can be training to get on the Olympic team like you.” Will said with a shrug.
Kayla stepped forward and clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Alright! Uh, dandy work!” A nearby camper scoffed and the rest shuffled in their spots nervously. “The class is almost ending so why don’t you all take a break and just fix the equipment for now, yeah? Good.”
Everyone started to move to the stands where the archery equipment was kept, relieved for the class to have finally ended. Will moved to help them, offering some advice for the soon-to-form blisters and callouses on their palms, and telling them that the Infirmary would always be open if they needed more treatment for it. A few girls giggled at his offer, some boys took up on his offer and made their way to the Infirmary to get checked.
Everything was normal.
Once everyone was gone, minus Will and Kayla, they started fixing the targets they used for practice too.
“These newbies shoot like you, Will. And that isn’t a compliment.”
“Well, sue me for not knowing our dad’s trademark, Kayes. The Infirmary takes more of my time than you might think.” Will exhaled loudly as he set down the last archery target. He dusted his hands on the sides of his cargo shorts. “And give these kids a chance, will ya? It’s not like you were automatically good. Yeah, you were definitely better than most in archery when you first came to camp, but you weren’t perfect.”
“Yeah yeah, thanks for the lecture, Mr. Sunshine-comes-out-of-his-ass.” Kayla shoved Will playfully. Will was about to retort, when, from the corner of his eye, he saw an approaching figure. Kayla notices it too, and registers it faster than Will does.
“Neeks!” Kayla said enthusiastically, waving. She turns to Will, grabs him by the arm, and practically drags him to meet Nico in the middle.
“Hey, you two. Done with archery? I heard some campers complaining about a certain hot-headed and impulsive teacher during archery training.” Nico raised a brow, his arms crossed.
“Their words or yours?” Kayla met Nico’s expression with a mischievous grin of her own.
“Definitely this girl. She said the newbies sucked.” Will said, ruffling Kayla’s hair and moving to stand closer to Nico. He liked standing near Nico — holding him, hugging him, even just shouldering him. Though the son of Hades radiated an uncontrollable aura of coldness around him, Will’s own uncontrollable aura of warmth battled it. That, and he didn’t mind being cold when it was with Nico. At least, he doesn’t think he does.
“Anyways,” Nico turned his head to Will, “I came by because I got some news that Annabeth and Percy are coming to camp in the middle of the summer, just don’t know when though. Hazel’s coming too.” The boy tilted his head ever so slightly next to Will’s shoulder. “Frank wanted to come, but Camp Jupiter needed at least one of their praetors to stay.”
They didn’t have a big height difference. Nico’s head was at the height of Will’s eyes. But it was cute to see Nico like this. Will loved the moments in life at camp when Nico would do stuff like this — pat his shoulder, ruffle his hair, lean on his shoulder — because it confirmed that the relationship, the attraction, wasn’t one-sided. Will liked reassurance, and so he held onto the memories of these moments a lot.
Will smiled, “Sounds fun! Whatcha tellin’ me for? Any plans you had in mind?”
“Not really… Eh, Percy and Annabeth said it’s been a while, and they just wanted to celebrate—“
“Celebrate how we survived Tartarus like they did?” Will filled in with a sigh as Nico nodded. Kayla just continued to look between the two, invested in listening into the conversation.
“I was also thinking of telling Hazel about our trip to hell. I haven’t told her yet, and she’s been asking about why I went MIA for months during that time.” Nico shrugged.
Will’s natural smile on his face faltered at that. He didn’t want to get into the details of the trip. It was exhausting by itself, and with Nico around, Will knows he’ll inevitably let something about his nightmares slip in the conversation.
By the way Nico’s uncommonly relaxed face tensed up for a bit, Will knew he was letting too much of his discomfort show. Will shook off his thoughts, forcing himself to perk up once again.
“Hmm…” Will pretended to think, causing Nico to hit him playfully with a scoff. Gods did he love teasing his boyfriend. “Pff— I’m just joking! I’m game. Can’t wait to meet your sister, babe.”
“… Good. Yeah, good.” Nico said with a soft exhale, as if he had been holding his breath in anticipation.
“Not to butt in, but when are you going to tell me about your dark trip? Austin and I have been dying to know, Will! We heard a bit from Nico Di Angelo over here, but he said he wanted to talk about it when you were around.” Kayla pouted.
Will winced quietly to himself. It was bad enough that he had to tell Lou and Cecil — considering they were his friends, so they had to know — but now, he had to tell both Kayla and Austin, as well as recount the events again for Percy, Annabeth, and Hazel’s sake? He didn’t like Tartarus; he never will. Talking about the experience just… It just gives him more goosebumps. Talking about Tartarus means remembering his nightmares, and remembering his nightmares means remembering the lack of sleep he’s gotten, and remembering the lack of sleep he’s gotten means remembering he has to continue to put up a happy front, and—
Yeah, unpacking all that shit has taken too much out of him lately. Not that the feeling of building up every single possible factor of stress weighing on him until he bursts was foreign. In any case, he should be able to handle this.
Will glanced at Nico to find him staring back at Will. He quickly averted his gaze back to Kayla, barely mustering a smile.
“Maybe next time. It’s not even that big of a deal“ Will said. He ran a hand through his hair before crossing his arms, a bit frustrated with the constant questioning. It was the third time he’s been asked that today, and even though there were more important parts of his life that his friends and siblings could ask about, they decided that talking about a dark pit was more interesting. There’s a brief silence after Will’s display of annoyance before Nico fills it in.
“How about during dinner? Or maybe the campfire?” Will looks at Nico blankly. Why was Nico so chill about reliving Tartarus? Was Will overreacting?
“Uh… yeah— oh, yup. That’s fine. I’m just… uh, gonna go…” Kayla points in a random direction and slips away from the conversation in a jog.
Kayla left behind a short, tense silence after jogging away. Will purposefully watched Kayla’s back, stubbornly refusing to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. Yet, it was the said boyfriend who surprisingly broke the silence.
“Will, do you want to talk about—“
“No.” Will grips his own arms tightly, trying to cool his face down. “Sorry, I-I mean maybe later. Or something.”
Even without looking at Nico, Will could definitely tell the boy was staring at him. His neck felt itchy under Nico's eyes.
“… Or something.” Nico reiterates. Will just nods.
“Sorry— I just… Stress. Newbie campers keep getting hurt.” Will finally looks at Nico with a smile. But by the looks of Nico’s raised eyebrow and skeptical stare, he probably could see right through Will.
“You never had a problem with lots of patients before.” Nico states bluntly.
“The Infirmary’s always had a problem with lots of patients. Young patients who shouldn’t have stab wounds or— or burn wounds.” Will could feel irritation seep into his words, barely controlling his own face from frowning.
“… It’s fine. Sorry. These ones are just more frustrating. Or maybe we’re understaffed.” Will said with a joking laugh, but he knew Nico wasn’t finding anything funny right now.
“See, now you just sound like you’re making excuses. This is about—“ Nico begins to say but Will quickly turns around and begins to walk away.
“It’s nothing, Neeks. I’ll see you at the campfire later. I have some stuff to wrap up at the Infirmary.” Will calls out behind him to Nico. He quickens his pace.
“Will— Will!” Nico shouted out, but Will was far gone already, and Nico didn't follow him.
Will wants to be left alone for now. He needs some privacy, because lately, it seems like everyone decided that going to Tartarus was something to brag about and definitely not a trigger for major trauma.
…
Major trauma? No, no it wasn’t… it’s not like that. Will’s fine, just tired. This can’t be counted as trauma. He wasn’t even in a fight for most of his time there. Nico always came in to save him, rushed in before a monster could deal some actual harm to Will.
The naive part of Will wants to believe that, wants to delude himself with false reassurance.
But based on his own experience being a doctor, the signs were clear. Crystal fucking clear.
He’ll just have to put it aside for now. It’s not at its peak. Definitely not as serious as Nico’s when he was at his lowest point. And besides, he brought this upon himself. He’s the one who insisted on accompanying his boyfriend. He shouldn’t be able to classify this as trauma; he knew the risks.
It’ll probably fade after a few days. Yeah, just give it some time. Hang out with the other campers, socialize more — do all of this, and it’ll be like it never happened. Nico’s happy and satisfied, Will’s happy too.
He can’t ruin any of this, not when the chance for the smallest amount of peace was just there within arm’s reach.