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Bo hears an ear-piercing scream as she walks into the crack shack. Kenzi! Bo rushes toward the stairs, but stops when the scream is followed by hysterical giggling.
“No! Not the feet! Stopstopstop!” Kenzi shrieks.
“Ye deny me, wench?” a male voice rumbles.
What the fuck? Bo thinks.
“Yes! No! I mean, yes! I do! Noooo! Don’t lick my feet stopitstopitstopit it tickles!” Another shriek and a tremendous splashing sound coming from the bathroom upstairs.
“You beastly pirate! How dare you invade my bathtub? I am a lady, sir!” Kenzi shouts in an outraged voice.
Pirate? Bo thinks.
“Dinnae fash, lass. Tell me ye dinnae like this, and I’ll leave ye be.”
Silence for a moment, followed by a shuddery little moan.
Oh! Bo thinks. She folds her arms and leans against the wall at the foot of the stairs, grinning.
“Ahhhhh…No, you scoundrel! I most certainly do not like that…oh fuck, stop, you’re going to make me break character again…ohhhh…” Silence for another moment, then: “Ahem. Unhand me! You may be Dread Pirate Dyson, the Wolf of the Sea, but you shall never plunder my heart, sir!”
“Och, we’ll see aboot that, lassie. First, I’ll plunder yer—“ the rest is obscured by another huge splash and shriek.
Silence, a low moan, more silence.
Finally, “Dyson, come up…ohhhh…for air before you drown, baby,” Kenzi says in a choked voice. Followed by a splash and the whooping sound of someone badly in need of oxygen.
“Och, look, lass, I found me a pearl. Shiver me timbers.”
“Well, if you insist.” Then a sound like half the water in the tub is being displaced out onto the bathroom floor.
I just hope the ceiling holds up, Bo thinks as she quietly tiptoes out the front door.
**********
Later that evening, on the sofa at Lauren’s place:
“Lauren,” Bo says casually, “have you ever heard of the pirate queens Anne Bonny and Mary Read?”