Chapter Text
The hit came out of nowhere.
Will had been playing his best game of the season. A goal and two assists on Macklin's goals earlier in the game, one more, and Mack would have a hat trick. That was his goal: help Mack, celebrate later.
The celebration alone in his and Mack's hotel room was what he was looking forward to the most. This “thing” going on between them had been going on for months. It all started rookie season in November against Seattle. The season had barely kicked off, and the anxiety of being a real professional hockey player was still lingering. 51 days in this league and it still hadn't felt real, or at least it hadn't until that night.
They had decided that after the game, they would meet up with the team to celebrate at Toff's house, where Cat had ordered pizza and alcohol for the team, which Mack complained about being outside of their strict diet plan for the season.
“Mack, you have to lighten up a little bit. The vets are doing it, so I think it will be fine for one night.” Will had said to Mack, who was currently in the passenger seat with his arms crossed and a slight scowl on his face.
“Fine, but no pictures of me with any of it, my dad will kill me if he finds out.” Mack had always grown up with a strict program in every aspect of his life. Will had joked that Rick ran that house like the Navy, which had got Mack to laugh, but it was different. The laugh was fake, not because the joke wasn't funny but because it was the truth.
Mack had admitted to Will one night after a hard loss that his dad often berated Mack for his off-season meal choices growing up and even while he was away at school in Boston. Even almost 3,000 miles away, Rick still had control over every aspect of Mack's life. He even required a sort of food diary from both him and Aiden. It had been the reason Mack had such a bad relationship with food that has now bled into his professional career.
After being told by Toff, “One beer then you are cut off,” which had seemed more fatherly than Will liked, they were cut off along with their other underage teammates, much to their dismay. They had just won 8-5 and wanted to party, especially Will, who had scored that night along with Mack. Will knew it was all out of love and safety, but it kind of ruined the mood.
After an hour of watching Mack laughing with their older teammates from a distance and admiring the way his cheeks had turned scarlet anytime he smiled a little too wide, Will had decided that maybe it was time to head out, they still had practice at noon the next day.
He was about to walk up to Mack when he felt a tiny hand pull on his elbow, and he found that the tiny hand was Cat's when he was forcibly turned around. Cat was small, but she was strong.
“Hey, Will, can we talk for a second?”
“Sure, everything good?”
“Yeah, I just noticed something and wanted to ask you about it.” She had a slight smile on her face, which he had assumed was the haze from the wine she had been nursing most of the night. Cat was small, which made alcohol hit her a bit harder than the 6-foot-tall hockey players currently occupying every space in her house.
“So what's going on with you and Mack?”
“What do you mean?” Will had tried to act confused, but he knew better. Cat could always see right through him.
Will had become pretty close with Cat, who he found out was incredibly observant of just about everything. He truly believes she had cameras on them at all times, because how is she this good at perceiving people?
“Will you have been watching him all night?” she said with a laugh. He knew she wasn't wrong. He had been watching Mack the whole night, but he had always been watching him since dev camp, maybe even before then. “I've been watching you guys for a while. It seems you two have something really special going on here”.
“I don't know, Cat, I don't think he feels the same way, but I just can't help it.” Cat knew Will was gay, so this admission hadn't been a total shock to her.
Will had come out to Cat about a month ago when they were here for a team dinner to kick off the season. She had asked a little about him and had been talking for a few hours before the confession came up casually. She had been supportive, but Will asked her not to share that piece of information with anyone because he wasn't out publicly and not even to his own family. She had told him she wouldn't say anything, but to let her know when he decides to come out so she can help support him in any way she could.
After that night, Cat had become one of the closest people in his life in San Jose, and he was incredibly grateful for her support.
“I think you should talk to him about it. He seems to have his eye on you a lot, too,” she was still smiling, but her eyes said more than her words ever could. She looked at him with a knowing gaze that Will couldn't quite figure out.
“I don't know, Cat, I don't think he's going to take it well.”
“I don't think you will ever know how he feels unless you talk to him about it.”
Will nodded to Cat as she turned around to say goodbye to some other wives, as some teammates with young kids were leaving before the party went on too late.
Will walked over to Mack and asked if he was ready to go, to which Mack responded with a quick “Yes”, thankful he was able to get back on his normal routine after a game. They had driven together, which meant Will had to drop Mack off at Jumbo's place.
They were walking out to their car when Will looked over at Mack to admit what he looked like in the moonlight. This was Will's favorite version of Mack: happy, calm, and basking in the coolness of a November night.
As he looked over, he noticed Mack had turned his head quickly, almost too quickly. If Will wasn't mistaken, Mack was staring at Will just as intently as he had intended to do.
They had been on the road for a few minutes, listening to an old Justin Bieber song at a low volume, when Mack broke the silence abruptly.
“Do you like me?”
‘What?” Will was asking more from the sheer abruptness of the question rather than for more context.
“Do you like me?” Mack repeated a bit more hastily than he had previously.
“Yeah, I like you, Mack. You are my best friend, I thought you knew that.”
“No, I mean, do you like me…like that?” This comment made Will feel like his heartbeat was in his throat from how fast it was beating.
Will had sat with the question for a second, staring straight ahead through the windshield, when he said, “Can we talk when we get to Jumbos? I think this is something I shouldn't be driving for.”
“Okay, fine”, is all Mack said, which made Will's heart beat faster.
As they pulled into Jumbo's driveway, Mack moved to open his door while Will stayed planted in the driver's seat.
“You coming?”
“Yeah, sorry”, Will moved to unbuckle his seatbelt and follow Mack to the guest house. Jumbo and his family had nicely allowed Mack to stay in for his rookie season.
He followed Mack to the house, where Mack told him to have a seat on the small white couch, which Will had often found himself napping on when they had an off day.
“Will, can we talk about what I said in the car?” Mack had asked with a furrow in his brow, as if he was preparing to be berated, which broke Will's heart. He wanted to reach out and smooth that line on Mack's face and do so much more. Would Will ever be able to do more? Will felt himself start to panic from fear that Mack would reject him entirely.
“Sure”, Will had tried to sound nonchalant but failed when he heard his voice crack like some awkward teenager. Mack had sat down on the couch a few feet away from what Will assumed to be self-preservation if this all went wrong.
“I need to tell you something, and if you don't ever want to talk to me again, I totally understand. I mean, you are catholic and probably won't want to talk to me again if I tell you this, but.. I really like you, Will, like really like you. I've had a crush on you for a while, and I know you probably don't feel the same way, but-”
Will cut off Mack's rambling by scooting close to Mack and pulling him close before swiftly pressing his lips to Mack in a gesture that would've been so incredibly wrong if it wasn't for Mack reciprocating by grabbing Will's cheeks and deepening the kiss, feeling Mack timidly press his tongue to the seal of Will's lips before Will allowed Mack in.
They had stayed in this intense state for a few minutes before Will pulled away to breathe and to just look at Mack, whose lips were swollen and red from what Will considered to be a pretty intense make-out session.
“Mack, I've felt the same way for so long. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while about it, but it's been…”
“Scary? Because same.”
“Yeah, I'm not out to anyone other than Cat, and now I guess you too,” Will said with a laugh.
Mack's eyes got wide when Will mentioned cat knowing, “She is the only person I came out to when I got to San Jose.”
“Do you think she set us up?”
“Absolutely, she knows way too much”, Mack said, smiling and leaning back in for a kiss, to which Will completely obliged with a small chuckle.
Will wanted to replay that night over in his mind and just about every night after that since they had started dating secretly. They didn't start hooking up before and after games out of fear that teammates would hear them, until their second season.
Now in their second year, a little over halfway through the season, the Sharks were playing the Blues, a pretty even match in Will's opinion. This had been an incredibly tough game from the start, which had thrown Will off more than he already felt before the game.
Will knew this game was a big deal; it could make or break their playoff chances. He could feel Mack's nerves practically vibrating off his skin.
Will had always known Mack to be the type who took the blame for every loss and gave every win to the team. He was too young to let the weight of the world rest on his shoulders. Will could see how drained Mack was from the losing streak. He had seen the way it broke Mack in the private moments of their hotel room. Mack wasn't a public crier, a fact Will blamed on Mack's dad, who was emotionally distant in every way that mattered. This, in turn, made Mack out of touch with his emotions in front of others and a more private person.
Mack took it extra hard after the game in Nashville. They had lost 6-3, and Mack had held it together up until the moment Will closed their hotel room door. He had turned his back just enough to close the door quietly, but the moment he turned around, Mack was right there looking straight into Will's eyes. Mack had immediately fallen into Will's arms, sobs wracking his chest. It broke Will's heart to see Mack this way; it broke him even more to know he couldn't comfort Mack the way he wanted to. All Will wanted to do was cuddle Mack until he fell asleep in his arms.
“Smitty, I can't keep doing this; it's too much pressure. I feel like the world is crumbling around me.”
“Mack, you don't have to carry this alone. I'm here, you can lean on me,” Will said as he led Mack to his bed to hopefully make this more comfortable for Mack. Mack had always dealt with anxiety, but tonight seemed a hell of a lot worse than normal.
Will had no ulterior motive with this gesture, sitting Mack down on the bed. Mack had scooted back to the headboard, tears still falling, as he patted the open space on the mattress right next to him.
Will felt his legs move before he could even think. Sitting down, he felt Mack lay his head on Will's shoulder. It felt like instinct to pull Mack in closer, whispering to him, “You don't have to take responsibility for the things that went wrong. We’re here to take the fall when it's all too much for you.”
Will hoped his words meant something to Mack, maybe even the same way Mack's words meant the world to him.
Mack looked up from Will's shoulder at that moment, eyes still red, but the tears had stopped falling.
Looking into Will's eyes, down at his lips, and back up, he said, “You have no idea how much you mean to me, Will.”
Will felt like the world had tilted on its axis. He could feel the nerves under his skin start to make his hands shake. Mack never called Will by his first name, so it was weird and almost too intimate for Will to comprehend. This was getting too confusing for Will's emotions; maybe he should get up before he makes a big mistake. Maybe he should, but it's so hard when Mack is looking up at him like this, like he hangs the moon.
“What-” is all Will can get out before Mack leans in. He feels their lips touch slowly and gently. He could feel how timid Mack had been leaning in. The moment their lips touched, Will had felt his heart skip a beat. Reaching up a hand to cup Mack's jaw like it's second nature, he speeds up his movements, their lips moving in tandem.
This is the most natural feeling Will has ever felt. As the kiss speeds up, he could feel the heat between them start to shift. Pulling back from the kiss for a brief moment, Will looks Mack in the eyes.
“You have no idea how long I have been wanting to do that after a game,” Mack said, smiling as Will smiled back, leaning back in. This seemed to calm Mack's anxiety more than any breathing technique ever had.
They had created a new superstition from this night, one that involved being in a secret relationship. They had accepted what they were to each other, but the idea of telling the team just didn't seem possible. So they kept the routine up: get to the hotel after morning skate, hook up, have a pre-game nap, and win. The routine wasn't perfect, but it was the only superstition either of them was willing to keep going for as long as they could.
Or for as long as the team had no idea.
This was the routine until the game in St. Louis, a make-or-break game that could be a deciding factor in whether or not they clinched a playoff spot. The season had been up and down, being more down as of late due to their 5-game losing streak.
Waking up felt like any other game in the middle of a road trip; they went to breakfast, then morning skate. At morning skate, something felt off. Will and Mack were still connecting like normal, and honestly, better than normal, but something deep down in Will's gut told him that this game was about to be a big one, not just because it was an important game for their playoff chances. This feeling tugged at Will's mind, but he had a job to do and ignored the signs that something might be wrong.
Back at the hotel, he and Mack followed their typical routine, but even as they lay together in the aftermath of their heated moment, Will felt the feeling come back, which wasn't normal. Normally, he felt more relieved after he and Mack would hook up.
Mack could sense something was wrong when he reached over to cuddle Will. He rolled over to hug Will, but was met with stiffness that had not been there before.
“What's up with you, dude?”
“Something feels off."
“What do you mean?”
“I don't know, man, I just have this weird gut feeling something is wrong.”
Mack was normally someone who would trust his gut feeling, but he knew how anxious Will got when they had important games. “I'm sure everything is fine, you're probably just anxious about the game.”
“You’re probably right,” Will said as he felt the comfort of Mack's embrace lull him to sleep.
Will was awoken abruptly by Mack's bomb-threat-esque-sounding alarm from his phone. Waking up like this made Will feel shaky and just as off-kilter as he felt when he fell asleep.
He woke up weird, but that didn't mean that feeling would stick.
Warmups felt pretty good and even allowed Will to ignore the growing nerves. Mack was probably right; it was a big game, and he didn't want to screw it up for the rest of the team.
The game started at a fast pace and didn't let up until a moment in the second period when Kyrou took a shot and scored. Defense had been slower than normal on the fourth line, and Will was itching to be back on the ice and produce something other than duds.
He and Mack immediately return the favor. Will had received a pass from Toff that allowed him to set up Mack at the perfect angle for the goal. The goal felt great, but it was time to lock in and do it again.
He and Mack had been called back in after a particularly bad play made by the second line. Will felt on top of the world; his line was producing some big plays.
Getting back on the ice, Will scores. It was a pass from Dickinson that set him up for a perfect slapper; he needed this so bad after a long losing streak.
In the last 5 minutes of the second period, he once again set up Mack for the perfect shot on goal. They had kept up the momentum all the way to the end of the period, which helped Will for the third.
Setting up for a face-off in the third, that feeling came back. Will thought the feeling would go away, but it only increased at the start of the period. Maybe this meant he would score again or get Mack a hat trick.
Mack had won the face-off and passed back to Toff, who was able to rush it forward, even getting past the Blues' first line. Will had followed suit, setting Toff up for a perfect pass that Will only hoped Mack would see and find the perfect angle for a shot on goal.
Looking up at Toff, he saw Toff set up the pass. It was the perfect angle; this was about to be a highlight on ESPN. He couldn't help but imagine the post-game interview, feeling a sense of pride. They were finally going to win, and he could finally prove to Warso that he deserved to be on the first line.
As Will squared his hips to receive the puck, it happened.
The hit came out of nowhere; no one could have seen it coming.
Will felt as though he was having an out-of-body experience. He could feel all the pain of the hit, but in slow motion.
The hit came from Holloway. Will knew he should've had his eyes up more; maybe he would've seen it. It didn't matter now as Will felt his body hit the ice harder than he had expected. One thing he had noticed before everything went dark was that his helmet was gone.
Shit, it must have come off in the hit. This was going to be bad.
As the world went dark, all he could hear were muffled voices and his own breathing, but what he felt was a throb in his head and a burning sensation that went from the top of his forehead to his chin. His last thought was of that stupid feeling in his gut that he should've listened to.