Work Text:
Jack was leaning against the desk at central, ignoring the probing look off of Lena and the nosiness of the nurses, he was concentrating on his phone like he had been all shift in the lulls between patients. He was alert and on the job when he needed to be, but when he had the opportunity to pull his phone out he was back on it.
He knew it wasn’t professional, but he had left it much too long to really have enough time to do this outside of work.
Time had successfully passed when he felt a larger body knock into the side of him and pull himself fully away from scrolling on his phone. He dropped it to the desk in shock and turned to see Robby looking questionably down at him.
“What’s got you distracted, brother?”
Jack sighed, handing his phone over where he was browsing latest trends for kids toys utterly bewildered.
“I’ve left it too late to really find something good, I think.”
Robby shook his head and handed the phone back, “have you tried asking him?”
Jack shrugged, “it was a struggle getting him to let me buy him clothes when he first got here, I’m pretty certain I’m not going to like what he might think of Christmas.”
Robby smiled sadly at him, “I think it’s worth asking him first. But I also think he’d like anything you’d get for him, especially when you’ve been fretting over this so much for this long.”
Jack groaned into his hands, “I agreed to work night shift Christmas Eve and Christmas in summer, I’m going to have to work out scheduling all of that with Evan so it’s not the worst experience ever with me.”
Robby rubbed his hand across his shoulder, “look, I’ll come round after shift, I’ll pick up food for us all on the way and we can work it out. Just go home, I dropped Ev off at school this morning, all you’ve got to do is get your sleep in and whatever you do on your days off and try not to worry about all of this. We’ve got a couple of weeks to make his first Christmas with you a good one.”
Jack knocked his fist into Robby’s shoulder in thanks, energy suddenly sapped from his body, more than ready to head home, after handover of course.
Sleep was something that Jack had battled with before, but a busy shift was usually enough to knock him out for a few hours and get him up and moving again a couple of hours before he would pick Evan up from school. Their system had been working well this far, even as the two of them worked to settle into their routines.
Today, sleep was harder to reach, Jack couldn’t stop himself thinking about how little he really knew about the boy who slept across the hall.
An hour or two of fitful sleep seemed to be all he could manage, begrudged to admit that his night off would hopefully both soothe his worries and fix the inherent crankiness that came with not getting enough sleep after a shift.
He chose instead to distract himself with a load of laundry and some general cleaning that he could accomplish from his chair, none too keen to put his leg back on just yet.
His mind just wouldn’t stop straying to the pages upon pages of Christmas toys he’d looked at all shift. Nothing had seemed quite right, nothing had leapt out at him as the perfect thing for a kid he just really wanted to enjoy the holiday.
Holidays had always been hard for Jack growing up, they didn’t do much celebrating when he was overseas, but it had felt special with Lizzy before she died, spending it with someone else made his love for the holiday blossom a little bit.
He didn’t know how Evan had spent Christmases before him, but with his reaction to having clothes bought for him, he was a little bit worried. It felt like reasonable worry. And he didn’t want to buy him something he didn’t want or didn’t like, this was important to Jack and he didn’t want the kid to just shrug it off like it wasn’t.
He moved himself across to the closed door of Evan’s room, feeling mixed about going inside without Evan present, but his brain itched, and he had to return his washed laundry too. He could open the door, leave it just inside, have a quick glance around and leave.
He’d been in Evan’s room before, but having an ulterior motive (despite a good one) still felt wrong.
It was still mostly in the same form as when Evan had first arrived, bed pushed to one side of the wall, new desk tucked into one side so he could do his homework. It was clean, it was always clean. Clothes placed neatly in the dresser and the wardrobe, bed always made. He’d cut a few pictures out of some old magazines with Jack’s permission and stuck them up on the walls, something to have a bit more colour on those plain white walls.
Jack’s throat felt tight, he wanted this room to be his, to be made his own. A couple of wonkily cut out photos and his clothes in the drawers, felt like too little.
Nothing was telling enough about the space to spur him into some frenzy of ideas, but he had some thoughts, mainly in order to make sure his kid knew that this was his space, and that no one was taking that away from him without a damn good fight.
Jack’s mind was still in a million places as he parked outside of Evan’s school that afternoon. He was a bit early, there were no screaming kids just yet, but he stepped out of his truck with a few other early parents awaiting their kids.
He leaned back against the side of his truck, observing the way some of them grouped together, socialising and catching up the way parents probably did when their kids had been attending the same school for years.
He didn’t know anyone, he wondered if that bothered Evan. He knew the kid had a tough time making friends here, Evan was a trooper, he’d been confident that it would get better - or at least that’s what he’d told Jack. And Jack was willing to believe him, there was a steel to his kid that he knew better than to confront.
So he maintained his distance, didn’t approach, didn’t make conversation.
He’d been picking up Evan from here since the beginning, and the only people he’d had any meaningful conversation with had been the collection of teachers manning the drop off line, making sure he wasn’t some pervert collecting a kid that wasn’t his.
He had a brief moment of contemplation on what their thoughts were on Evan being dropped off by either Dana or Robby in the mornings, when Jack always picked him up after school, he reckoned no one was paying enough attention to them to really notice. They were all approved adults for Evan, he was just aware of the life gossip could have.
The first war cry of a child being released from the prison that was school alerted him to the kids finally exiting the building.
Jack waved when he finally spotted Evan, it wasn’t hard to spot him with those red sneakers, but he was also the only kid actively being avoided by pretty much everyone else in his class. Jack felt like his heart had been crushed at the sight.
Though with those blue eyes lighting up when they spotted Jack, he quickly wiped any other intrusive thoughts off of his face.
Evan darted between other kids to run headfirst into Jack’s ribs. He laughed and wrapped his arms tight around his back. Eyes drawn away from his boy at the cooing of close by mothers who had been gossiping before this. He spared them a small smile before focusing wholly on his kid.
“Heya bud, how was school?”
He helped him get his backpack off and into the car. Making sure he was all buckled in and okay while Evan shrugged his shoulders, dower mood slipping over him. The low level of excitement at spotting Jack still hadn’t left his eyes, and he figured he could work with that.
“Robby is coming over later with dinner, after his shift. Want to do anything before that?”
Evan shrugged again, clearly not in a chatty mood.
“I haven’t had that much to eat yet, how do you feel about pancakes before then?”
Evan’s eyes lit up again, but he tried to manage his reactions as he nodded slowly, though his body was clearly vibrating with some level of excitement.
Jack grinned, “fantastic, pancakes are an all time food, let’s get to it.”
Jack had hoped that sitting across from each other eating pancakes would be enough to loosen his tongue, but he seemed pretty content to devour his mini pancakes while Jack pretended not to watch him.
He knew he needed to start speaking to his therapist more about how much everything was worrying him these days, but his session wasn’t until the end of the week. He could work with it for now, Robby was coming over later to help with some of the more immediate issues, and Evan looked somewhat better than when he had first come to him. Christmas wouldn’t be any better if he catastrophised over it to the point it burned out of his skull.
He caught Evan’s eye, panicked and stuffed a piece of pancake into his mouth to escape.
The next time he looked up, Evan had his head cocked to the side looking at him with those expressive eyes, and his hands were fidgeting together, pancakes abandoned in front of him.
Jack let out a harrowed breath, maybe he needed to speak to his therapist sooner.
“Sorry, kid. Keep eating its fine.”
Evan’s brow furrowed some more, eyes darting away to his fork before coming back up to Jack’s.
Jack wiped his mouth with his napkin.
“It’s really stupid kid, it’s a me thing, I swear.”
Evan’s hands quit fidgeting, but he was still looking at him, “what is it?”
Jack’s breath shuddered again, he really was working himself up.
“What do you want for Christmas?”
Evan’s mouth dropped open with a breathy little ‘oh’, eyes dancing across Jack’s face looking for something before he shook his head and dropped his chin down so his eyes were on his lap.
Jack leaned forwards and tapped the table next to the kids plate, “sorry, kid. I’ve really been working myself up over it.”
Evan brought his eyes up warily, still looking for something in Jack’s face.
“I know Santa’s not real.”
Jack smiled strained, really not wanting to know when the kid learnt that fact.
“Doesn’t have to be for me to want to get you something for Christmas. S’what Robby’s coming over for later, to discuss plans. I’ve had some thoughts on presents, but I’d rather have your input before I go ahead with anything.”
“I don’t need anything.”
Jack smiled, “you could want something, that’s okay too.”
Evan shook his head, pushing his plate away from himself in rebellion of their talk.
Jack smiled sadly, knowing it was always good to be able to have these talks without the spine of Robby behind him, but still wishing he had more of an ability to get at why his kid really did not want to discuss this more. He would bring it up again at home, just a little bit, because he was not giving in and letting Christmas pass without this kid knowing he was meant to be here.
Robby arrived just before eight with two boxes of what smelled like still hot pizza, he greeted Jack with a tired smile and happily passed the food over to him, to get himself and his backpack into the door.
Jack called for Evan to come out of his room, and he was slower to arrive than Robby had seen from him before. He shot a worried look to Jack who smiled strained at him and shook his head. He’d get an update sooner or later he knew that much.
Evan was practically dragging his feet as he approached them in the small kitchen, looking between the two of them with wary eyes before accepting the plate from Jack and warily taking a couple of slices of pizza for himself. He made to head back in the direction of his room before Jack called out and stopped him.
“Come sit with us, kid. You’re not getting out of talking about this by being avoidant.”
Evan stalled, his back to them, a mere ten steps from the safety of his room before his shoulders dropped and he trudged back to the table to eat with them.
He was refusing to meet their eyes, and Jack was willing to deal with it for a little while.
Robby glanced confusedly at the silent kid, passive aggressively chewing his pizza.
Jack sighed, “worked myself up before you got here, asked him what he wants for Christmas, he said he doesn’t need anything.”
They both looked at the boy who had stopped eating to listen but hadn’t looked up, “I don’t.”
Jack shook his head, he knew parenting wasn’t an easy task but he’d thought they’d have trouble with other things than what he wanted for Christmas.
“How about this, kid? You tell me something you like a lot right now, and I can get you something that makes that room yours.”
That brought Evan’s eyes back up to his, Robby was basically a spectator at this point.
“What do you mean?”
He couldn’t help but feel relieved when the kid spoke, it had been a lot of time spent with his own thoughts without Evan chatting around him.
“New bedding maybe? Some posters that aren’t cut out of a Nat Geo magazine. I know you’ve not been here very long but I want you to make those decisions for yourself, because that is your room now, forever.”
Evan sniffled, and Jack didn’t have the heart to stop him as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.
“Nothing’s ever mine, though.”
Jack caught Robby gripping the table and had to take his own deep breath to calm himself.
“Your stuff is your own here. I promise. Your new clothes, your backpack, your red shoes, those are yours, Evan. That room is yours, and it will always be yours for as long as I live here. And even if I move, which will not be any time soon, you will always have a place with me.”
Evan hiccuped with a sob and Jack was out of his chair in a flash, falling to a painful drop on his knees to wrap the kid into a well needed crushing hug. Evan wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck and held on tight, chest lurching with sobs and hiccups as he fought to understand that Jack really meant it. He knew, to an extent. But it was still so different than how he had grown up, that was a lot of years to unlearn.
“Jack.” Robby whispered, heard lightly over the heartbreaking sobs that bounced across his ribs.
Robby nudged his head towards the couch, a likely more comfortable spot for how long he might be holding the kid before he calmed down. Jack braced himself as he lifted off of the awkward position on his knees, careful not to jostle him.
He dropped the both of them onto the couch, knee aching like a bitch. He must have been pulling a face for Robby squatted down beside him and started to remove the prosthetic before it got too much, careful not to disrupt the still hitching sobs echoing out of such a little body.
Robby settled down beside them, pizza abandoned on the table, rubbing his hand up and down Evan’s back hoping to settle him down some.
It took a while for him to calm down, but Jack found it no bother to hold him for as long as it took for Evan to feel put together again.
When Evan was exhausted but calmer, Robby had reheated his pizza and placed the plate onto his lap so they could finish their meals. Evan had looked like he wanted to apologise but they both waved him off of that notion before it could even make its way out of his mouth.
Between bites, Jack broached the next topic they needed to discuss.
“Last thing, kid. Bare with me a second, but we’ve got to talk about actual Christmas. I volunteered to cover nights over Christmas when everyone was prebooking it off in Summer. So I’m working those nights, we’ll have to work out how that’s going to work for us, because I know Robby’s volunteered for days, as far as I know right?”
Jack turned to Robby who was already sporting a nice red flush on the back of his neck that told Jack that he knew something more than he did.
“Well, I was looking at the calendar, and I had a discussion with Adamson. He could cover my Christmas Eve day shift, so I can do your night and then you’d have until your shift Christmas Day together.”
Evan and Jack were looking at him unblinking at what he had just admitted to doing for them.
Robby was getting even redder.
Jack fixed a stare on him, “you asked Adamson about this?”
Robby frowned at him, “he always wants to help, he would have helped if you’d asked, Jack.”
Jack shook his head, he was more stunned that his friend had gone straight to asking their boss about a problem that Jack had assumed would just plague him until he managed to meet with his therapist. And here his friend was, out here fixing things before Jack even had the idea of how to.
He could never be more thankful that Robby was willing to be here alongside him.
Jack shook Evan a little bit where he was still perched on his lap, “looks like I’ve just got to figure out where you can go when I head onto shift. Our good friend Robby will be coming off of a double if you hadn’t caught that, so he will deserve some sleep, I’m sure Dana will be nice enough to us after all this.”
Evan laughed, it was little but it was there and Jack beamed a smile across to Robby at the sound. Even as Evan dropped his exhausted body further against him, this had turned out a better day than he’d thought it could be.
Jack took his chance and tickled a little bit at Evan’s side as he squirmed and laughed breathlessly, “one last question, kid. Are you thinking fireman or hockey for your room?”
Evan stilled then eventually shrugged.
Jack nodded, “have a think, please. Or something else. I’ll accept anything, I promise.”