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Spider-man vs. the Hulk

Summary:

Roger Harrington met his old friend Bruce Banner after he came back from outer space and invited him to come talk to his AcaDec students. When a certain student (sadly, we all know who) makes a very inappropriate comment about the Black Widow, the Hulk gets angry and Bruce can't hold him back. In comes a certain spiderling who thinks that protecting his teammates' lifes is more important than his secret identity. Who will be stronger? Spider-man or the Hulk?

Notes:

Heyyy lovely people!

I honestly have no idea what this is! I just suddenly thought that it would be funny if Spider-man was actually stronger than the Hulk (I doubt that he actually is?! but anyways) and indulged in this fantasy in this fic.

This is certainly not the best thing I've ever written, but I thought I'd post it anyways :) have fun!

Work Text:

Pure excitement was soaring through the air after Mr. Harrington had entered the room, explaining that an old friend of his had agreed to come and talk to the Academic Decathlon team about his research when the students had realised that the 'old friend' was THE Dr. Bruce Banner. And yes, there had been some questions about the Hulk in the ensuing Q&A, but they were a nerd school so most of the breathless students wanted to talk about his research on gamma radiation. And Bruce enjoyed it. They got even more hyped when he talked about some of the phenomena he'd observed during his time in space (even if he'd been stuck as the Hulk, he could somewhat remember what he'd seen and his scientific brain had immediately started to analyse everything after he'd returned to being Bruce Banner and he, Thor and Carol Danvers had taken down that purple space-grape before it could wreak any more havoc).

So he didn't mind too much when the discussion turned more towards the Avengers and the reformation of the team until... well, until this one student (whom Bruce had looked at with distrust from the moment he'd entered the room because he looked uncomfortably arrogant) made an unlucky comment about how hot Black Widow was and how he'd love to screw her. The student had muttered it to his friend but he hadn't been quiet enough! And yes, after his space odyssey, Bruce and Natasha's relationship hadn't turned back to what had been blossoming before he'd disappeared, but she was still an extremely important person and a dearly loved friend to him - and, more importantly, to the Hulk. And Bruce was a rather awkward person, not too good at interacting with others and defusing conflicts and he'd just gotten Nat back. He couldn't really help himself when he realised he was loosing control. He felt extremely bad. He shouldn't just loose control. He couldn't endanger innocent students because his alter ego was too emotionally attached to his friend. What would Roger think of him? He'd trusted him to be around his students. But it was too late.

Roger Harrington watched as his students watched his friend as he grew and turned green, and then the screaming started. Some shouted angrily at Flash who'd made the comment, but most of them screamed in fear. The Hulk stood up, shaking his head and made to move towards the offending student. Roger also screamed in fear and even more, when he saw one of his other students, Peter Parker, jump towards the Hulk to intercept his way towards Flash. Was he crazy? The boy was putting himself in danger to protect his long-time bully. But, then again, that was just who Peter was! Always looking out for everyone. Roger knew he was a good kid, but this... Peter could die. All of them could die. Shit! This was a nightmare! What had he been thinking? But Bruce had been his friend in college! And he was sure that Bruce wouldn't have agreed to come if he thought that something like this could happen.

Meanwhile, Peter had only one thing on his mind! He had to keep the Hulk from killing his classmates. Screw his secret identity! Peter hadn't had the chance to meet Dr. Banner yet and he was by no means sure that he'd be strong enough to hold back THE HULK, but he at least had to try. He jumped over the table that separated him from the Hulk, grabbed the huge green hands and stuck to them. With his feet, he stuck to the ground and then he just held on as tightly as he could. The Hulk was confused at first but then resisted with all his strength and Peter lost his grip on the floor and was propelled up into the air by angrily shaking hands. He didn't let go though, and when he crashed into the Hulk's chest, he just stuck to it with his legs as tightly as he could and kept holding on. He remembered the stories his мама паук (mama spider) had told him and began to mutter the phrases he knew they used to calm the Hulk. "The sun's getting low, it's alright, the sun's getting really low." And after some more minutes during which Peter felt as if his arms were torn from his body, the struggling of the Hulk actually decreased. He was looking at Peter in a confused way, but his movements became slower and finally he was only breathing heavily, grunting a bit but calming down otherwise. After some more minutes, Peter unstuck himself from the Hulk, still talking, muttering soothing phrases and finally watched him transform back into Dr. Bruce Banner, who sunk down into a chair, breathing heavily.

"Are you alright, Dr. Banner?" Peter asked after some seconds.

"I... I what? Am I alright? Are you alright, kid? How did you...?" he trailed off, his eyes now glued onto Peter, who only now realised what he'd just done and that his whole Decathlon team had watched him do it. Promptly, he heard Flash call "What the fuck, Parker?" from behind and shocked mutterings from his other classmates. Mr. Harrington finally rushed over to his student, whole body trembling, but he had a duty towards his students. They were his responsibility and he'd just endangered all their lives.

"Peter, are you alright?"

Peter nodded shakily, obviously exhausted, but otherwise not looking too shaken. That was... something! Roger wasn't sure what to think!

"I'm... I'm alright, I think, Mr. Harrington."

Bruce shook himself. What had just happened? But wait, what had that student called his class mate? And Roger had called him Peter?

"Wait? Are you Peter Parker?"

The kid turned towards him, surprisedly. "Uhm, yes Dr. Banner?" His voice rose in the end, as if he was not sure about his answer and there was something strange in his voice, but Bruce couldn't analyse every social cue right now. All the other occupants of the room were staring at him in surprise, but he also tried to ignore that. He was still too exhausted and his brain was running on super speed trying to understand what had just happened.

"So, that's why you could hold the big guy back! You're Spider-man!"

The boy sputtered, and his expression now was definitely one of panic. Oh right? Spider-man's identity was secret, right? Well, damn...

"I... What? No... I'm not?" but he sounded resigned, as if he already knew that there was no way around this.

"What the fuck? Parker is just a pathetic, weak nerd! He could never be nearly as cool as Spider-man!" the student who had caused all of this protested, but was shut down very quickly by his team mates who stared at Peter with wide eyes.

"Flash, are you stupid?"

"He just held back THE HULK"

"Shut up, Flash"

"Peter, is that true?"

"Wow, Peter is Spider-man!"

Roger turned towards his student and looked at him wide eyed. "Peter?"

"Uhm yes?" the kid mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

"Peter, I'm so sorry, this was all... I know that Tony said that your identity was a secret, I am so so sorry! I was too out of it to think straight, after what just happened," Bruce dejectedly interrupted them.

"I... It's alright," the kid finally said and Roger's heart broke when he saw the determination in his student's eyes when he continued to say, "I'm just happy that no one got hurt, that's all that matters."

"But Peter, how...? Are you really...?" came the question from one of the other students who still stared at him with open mouths.

Peter just shrugged his shoulders and hurried to say, "Please, you can't tell anyone about this!" and added after a second, "I probably should call Mr. Stark to provide some NDAs?" He turned towards Bruce who seemed to have collected himself a bit and nodded, taking out his phone.

"I'm gonna call him."

Roger stood frozen. His student was Spider-man! Spider-man was a kid! But he also had a duty to look out for his student and the kid had just held back THE HULK, so he shook himself free of the shock that still had his limbs in a thight grip. "Peter, are you hurt?"

"I think... I'm alright. I didn't know if I'd be able to hold back the Hulk... Not even Uncle Steve can do that..." he shook his head in wonder. "Wow! I just held back the Hulk!"

"Dude, you just held back the freakin' Hulk!" came the approving answer of Peter's best friend Ned. "You're so badass!" Wait, had Ned known that Peter was Spider-man? Roger thought that the boy didn't seem surprised, at least. "But you always could lift more than Captain America so it's no wonder actually!" he sounded extremely proud of his best friend. Okay, so Ned had definitely known.

Suddenly, Peter sprinted over to the window and opened it wide, seconds before THE Iron Man burst through, his suit receding into a stylish watch on his wrist.

Tony was terrified. Bruce had told him in two sentences what had happened and he wasn't sure if he should go shout at Bruce or check in with Peter first. But as soon as he saw his kid, the answer was clear and he rushed to envelop him in a hug.

"Bambino, are you alright?"

"I'm okay, Mr. Stark! Just a bit out of strength," he chuckled lowly.

Not letting go of the spiderling in his arms, Tony turned around towards his friend. "What the fuck, Bruce? If Peter hadn't been here and if he wasn't freakishly strong you just could have killed several students! What did you think? They're kids! Bruce, I swear, if anything had happened to Peter, I'd have killed you personally."

"Tony, Tony, I know! I'm sorry! I have no idea how this happened! I thought I had it under control, and I do, but then this..." he looked at the student who had made the affronting comment, gesturing towards him, not finding any appropriate words to call him, "he said some bad things about Natasha and you know how the big guy feels about her. I couldn't do anything, it happened way too fast. I know that I fucked up, I know! I feel horrible! I..."

Bruce stopped when he heard his friend sigh and say, "It's alright... Luckily, nothing happened!"

Tony turned towards the teacher and the students. "Alright, I think today's practice is over and I'm gonna take Peter home to the tower with me, I'm sure you all understand." His arm was still resting on the boy's shoulders. "However, before that, you're gonna sign these!" He produced some sheets of paper and was glad to see that none of the students or the teacher protested, even if one guy seemed not too happy about it. "If anyone let's anything of what happened here out, we're gonna hit you with a lawsuit so big that you won't know what you're gonna do with your life when it's through. Right! Now I've got a spider-baby to take care of," "Mr. Stark!" Peter protested against the nickname. "so please excuse us! Bruce, are you alright?" he asked while he stepped into his suit.

"I am. And again, Tony - and Peter of course - I am really, really sorry for all of this!"

"It's alright, Dr. Banner, it's an honor to meet you!" Peter chirped.

"The feeling is mutual," the scientist chuckled. He already knew that he liked the boy.

"You wanna join us for dinner tonight, Bruce?"

"Do you really want that, after...?" Bruce gestured around the room and looked at Tony doubtfully, but his friend just waved his concerns away. "7pm tonight. I think Bucky's cooking... one of his mum's old recipes... his cooking is usually quite good. Not like Caps..." he trailed off, shuddering at the thought. "Right, bye then everyone. Kiddo, stick to my back, will you?"

"Okay, Mr. Stark! Bye Ned, MJ! See you tonight, Dr. Banner!"

And then they were gone and Bruce was in a classroom with shaken students and Roger looking as if he would be falling apart, if it were not for his charges present.

"I'm really, really sorry, kids!" he stammered.

"I think Flash is the one who should apologise," a fierce looking, dark girl said, one of Peter's friends, Bruce thought, turning her burning gaze to her class mate.

"What? What did I do?" the offending student asked. Wow! Some people really were very complicated and not very nice. Of course, to Bruce most people were not really fun to be around but some, like this kid, were even worse.

"Please, let's not start a fight here!" Roger was really done with the world and he just wanted to go back home, make himself a strong cup of this new, expensive black tea he'd gotten as a present for his birthday, and forget about the world. He'd once lost a student and he couldn't imagine what he'd do if he'd have to relive that today. He was infinitely glad that he didn't have to find out. "Today's decathlon practice is over, alright! Go home, relax, take care of yourselves!"

"I'm so sorry, Roger!"

"I know, Bruce, I don't blame you!" He was so exhausted. "Let's get a coffee tomorrow?"

His friend shot him a relieved smile and then awkwardly, with some more apologies, left the room.

Slowly, the students packed up their things and left in small groups, discussing what had just happened.

When they arrived at the tower, Peter unstuck himself from the Iron Man suit and flopped down on the couch in the living room, immediately falling asleep. He awoke to a hushed conversation between Mr. Stark and some of the other Avenger's and he could hear his dad Mr. Stark gushing about how Peter was strong enough to hold back the Hulk and the other's impressed reactions. He felt embarrassed but also a bit proud as he fell back with a sigh and closed his eyes again. The next decathlon practice would definitely be interesting but he'd deal with their questions then. For now, he could just relax.