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Today was exhausting. Before reaching Alabasta the crew got into some more marine trouble, Nami ending up getting(somewhat) injured in the process. It was hard to fully know that you could've covered her blind side, and that maybe all of the chaos that unleashed after she was injured would've been prevented if you would've just.. moved.
That was something you hated.
You hated yourself for not helping, for standing there in bewilderment. Well.. Why wouldn't you? You weren't special like them. No devil fruit, no special swords, no abilities.. You were just.. There.
You doubted your ability to truly be necessary on the crew, watching as Chopper tended to Nami with such Finesse. Everyone was concerned about her, and if anything, it felt like they were mad at you. It didn't take long before they stopped at the next island to get more materials for Chopper, spices for Sanji, and, of course, Meat for Luffy.
As the crew broke off, searching for their needs, you snuck off from the village. You walked and explored, finding pretty rocks and new scenery, passing trees and shrubs, observing the oceans from a hill with your mind boggled with questions and unspoken answers.
It made you feel.. Worthless. Empty.
Like you were nothing compared to everyone.
You sat down on the grass, thinking of every day, every hour, every minute, and every second you were just.. utterly useless to the strawhats.
You stared at the sky, looking at the sunset that colored the sky with a gradient that you were sure the crew would love.. maybe they'd love it more if you were gone.
As you thought, little orbs of tears began to form on the rims of your eyes as all you could remember was every moment you didn't do anything to help, every time you were needed and just weren't there.
It affected you a lot, filling your thoughts with dread and self-hatred.
You glanced down at your legs and at the dagger you were given for protection back and forth, contemplating if you should or shouldn't.
Your breath hitched, continuing to look back and forth back and forth, wanting to give yourself freedom of tension but not wanting to do something like that for.. this.
You felt pathetic, wanting to cut yourself over your own thoughts.
You looked around as you picked the blade up, looking around before taking a deep breath. It didn't last long. Just a couple stings and you hid it all. You wondered if they would ever notice, thought you doubted it. You always felt so insignificant compared to the others. You looked around, dagger still in hand before laying your eyes on a particular boy with a straw hat staring back at you.
Luffy.
He had followed you there?? Jeez. Why didn't you hear him??
And even WORSE, what if he watched you??
"Watcha doin with that?" He asked, pointing at the blade. "Nuthin stupid right?"
You shook your head, putting it in your pocket as he calmly walked over.
"Nope. Don't worry its nothing." you replied, brushing everything off. Your thoughts, your feelings, your doubts.. "Don't worry about it."
He walked over and sat beside you, hugging his knees.
"Okay! At least let me sit with you."
You nodded, before turning back to the sunset.
Your legs ached, you thought as you adjusted your shorts hoping nothing was visible.
There was a long moment of silence, but Luffy let the silence speak for him.
He moved closer, watching as the sunset slowly disappeared and turned to the dark midnight, the moon glimmering in the light.
"Woah.. It's a full moon!!" Luffy called out, pointing up at the moon. "I wonder how many werewolves are out right now! Hehe!!"
You smiled, shrugging. "Probably tons."
He giggled, gently grabbing your hand as he leaned against you.
"Why did you leave us in the middle of shopping?"
You froze, nervously looking away.
"I just felt.. useless."
"Useless? How?? You're one of the most important on our crew!!"
"Luffy.. I'm really not."
"No! Seriously!! You're honestly the best when it comes to making sure Zoro doesn't wander off!!"
"That's not too important.."
"Well you're important cuz i say so!!" He announced cheerfully, raising his free arm up with a closed fist as if to say 'whatever i say goes'. "Plus, without you easily dealing with Sanji's girl talk, I'm sure Nami would've already tore him a new one!!"
Your face flushed as you looked away, relishing the thought of being seen as important. It was a sweet, warm feeling. Something only Luffy had ever managed to give you during your time on the crew.
"Do.. do you think I actually belong on the crew..?"
"Obviously! You help us so much! And without you, my heart wouldn't feel so float-y knowing you were on the ship!!"
You looked at him confusingly. Float-y? Is that even a word?
"Float-y?"
"Yea!! I feel all warm and happy and then my hands wanna grab your cheeks like this-"
Luffy paused, grabbing your cheeks like you would a baby.
"And then my whole body wants me to give you a huge kiss."
"Luffy.. I.. I think that's called a crush.."
"Okay! Then i have a crush on you."
Your face flushed even more.
"Jeez.. how come when you say it O get all warm and-"
"Maybe you have a crush on me too!!! Does that mean we're together now??"
You sighed, nodding, observing him to see his reaction.
Wow. He's actually really.. really happy you guys are 'together'.
"Does that mean we can kiss and hug and hold hands and have SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER??"
"Of course we can, luffy."
Luffy smiled, and out of nowhere..
"We should kiss then!!"
a beat..
"Fine.."
He leaned closer, pressing a firm kiss against your lips.
Finally. You felt at peace. It was the first time you'd felt peace in a while, especially not since what happened with Nami.
Just you and him, kissing in the moonlight.
When he pulled away, he smiled at you and giggled, hugging onto you like a monkey.
Well.. He is MONKEY D. Luffy. It felt accurrate.
"Waiiit.. the other are gunna be lookin for us right??"
"Yea.."
He got up, now dragging you as he started running back through the woods to the town again with determination. This was.. normal. It felt honest, real.
Nothing could've felt any better.
Nothing.
As you both got back to the crew the day went as usual. Finishing up shopping, putting stuff away, and sailing off again.
That night, you lay in your bed. Not alone, no. A boy with a Straw Hat lay beside you, his face content and his eyes closed as you both slept. You and Luffy weren't casual.
At least not anymore.