Chapter Text
The letters are hidden under Oscar's pillow. Many untold words, hidden emotions, feelings, memories written with black ink, creating a whole confession. Pictures of them, two, or just a quick draw of him - everything is hidden under the cheap but comfortable pillows. And Colm has no idea that they even exist.
It's the night he's gonna tell him. Right here in their cabin, in the middle of the fucking schooltrip.
Oscar sits on the thin mattress in the small cabin. The other bed - where Colm took a quick nap earlier - is messy, the pillows are scattered on the matress and the blanket is half on the ground. The desire in Oscar which told him to touch the pillow which was under Colm's head and smell it has grown to almost unbearable.
When he stands up to reach over the bed, Colm bursts into the small cabin, carrying a plastic bag which clinks loudly. Oscar stops, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Colm looks so adorable, his pink lips were a bit dry, the soft brown curls peak out from his beige baseball hat. Oscar feels as his stomach doubles over and all of his braveness flies away.
The rain starts falling in the minute Colm turns the key to lock the door. He lazily kicks off his worn out shoes at the door and sits onto his bed, lifting up the plastic bag.
"I got drinks and weed" he grins, then pats the bed next to him. "Sit with me."
Oscar hesitantly sits down next to Colm, trying not to look at Colm's skinny legs. His grey basketball shorts ride up to the middle of his thighs, and Oscar needs to look away a bit and close his eyes to get his mind together again.
"Have you seen the shower?" Oscar asks, pointing towards the corner of the cabin, where a shower stood, only separated by glass walls.
"Yeah, what's with it?" Colm asks, taking out a bottle of Royal vodka, paper party cups and a few packs of instant drink powders. He place two cups onto his thigh, trying to keep them in balance as he pours vodka into them.
"They're...basically see through." Oscar watches as Colm tears the drink powders' pack open with his teeth.
"Yeah." Colm hands him one of the cups, the cherry drink powder mix with the vodka. "Nett said we can go over at their cabin later. A bit of party, you know?"
Colm grins and drinks up everything from his cup. He shifts on the bed and lay down, dropping the cup onto the wooden floor. Oscar puts down his onto the drawer, then open the window.
There's dark outside, rain pours heavily. He can see the other cabins' dark silhouettes between the woods. The fresh, wet smell of the nature hits his nose. He closes his eyes, letting the night air get into his lungs.
"You didn't touch your drink yet." He hears Colm's slurred voice from behind his back.
Oscar turns back. Colm's still lying on the bed, looking directly at him. His eyes are a bit glassy, his dried lips are wet with vodka. The warmth rushes through Oscar's body, the urge to kiss Colm is starting to get stronger. His gaze drifts down to see the red skin under Colm's nose.
He did it again, Oscar thinks. He sits down next to Colm, the mattress dips under his weight. Colm turns his head towards him, his face is pale, eyes are heavy.
Oscar lays down onto the bed, pulling Colm against his side. He knows Colm's having a hard time of his life, and it breaks Oscar's heart to see him like this. Smoking weed or occasionally doing cocain was fun until it became necessary to Colm for living.
Colm shifts againts his side, and as his pamut shorts rides up Oscar can see fresh, angry red cuts on the pale skin. His eyes widen, and doesn't know what to do now.
"Buck..." he whispers to Colm, but Colm burries his face into Oscar's shoulder, his mouth already curling down as he starts crying.
"Please, Oscar, no... I don't wanna talk about it..."
Oscar sighs, knowing it's not something he should ignore, but still, Colm is his best friend, he trusts him, so Oscar decides to keep it in secret and not talking about.
"Okay, Bucky. You're safe with me." He rubs Colm's prominent shoulder blades.
Colm curls up on Oscar's side, pushing his face into his neck, crying silently.
Through the open window, a blonde hair figure jumps into their cabin.
"Nett..." Colm lifts his head up, tears and snot smearing on his face. He quickly pushes Oscar away, and sit up. "It's not..."
Nett shrugs.
"You come to our cabin or no?" He asks, strongly smelling like weed and alcohol.
"I do." Colm says, standing up and puts on a hoodie. He doesn't even glance back at Oscar as he follows Nett out of the cabin.
Oscar feels his heart sinks down into his stomach. He knows it childish, but he stands up and closes the window and the shutters. Colm won't come into the cabin tonight. He can snuggle up with Nett if he wants to be with him so bad.
He goes to bed early, ignoring every noise out there, turning towards the wall so he doesn't see Colm's bed. Because right now he hates everything that's related to him. The messy bed, his bagpack on the floor, the stupid paper cups he bought.