Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

1 - Cheng Xiaoshi

Xiaoshi was gonna die and it was all the fault of his own stupidity.

Sure, the forecasts said there’d be a light storm (light rain, it’d predicted, actually), but Xiaoshi didn’t think that much of it, cause he’d gone out during storms before. He didn’t care about his boat getting wet in the rain.

His boat had completely capsized. He’d hit his head on the metal. He could taste his own blood in his mouth as he slowly sunk down, deeper and deeper into the waves. The movements down here were so much calmer than the harsh waves on the water’s surface…

The waves dragged him deeper down. Deeper into the darkness.

He shut his eyes.

“Xiaoshi—Cheng Xiaoshi!” it was blurry, but his name was called a couple times.

He felt his head spinning as he tried his best to open his eyes but couldn’t. Too heavy.

“Cheng Xiaoshi—!” a cry came from beside him, and he finally found the strength to peek his eyes open, cause somewhere inside himself, he recognised that voice. “Xiaoshi…!” 

His sister was in front of him, crying. “...Qiao Ling.” his voice came out raspy, like it was out of use. He noticed that the sound was also muffled by something covering his mouth. Something feeding him oxygen?

She immediately pulled him into a hug as she kept crying. She couldn’t get a coherent word out as she squeezed him so much it hurt. Fuck—it actually really hurt.

“My head…” he limply dropped his head down onto her shoulder as the pain started to seep in, and it started hurting to hold it up any longer.

“You idiot…!” were her first comprehensible words. Thanks, sis… “I can’t believe you! You could’ve died!”

Died…died? Oh, the…right. He started slowly remembering the events of that day. His concussion, sinking, starting to drown, and— “...did you find me? How am I alive…?”

“I found you washed up on the shore, you were hardly breathing…” she backed out of the hug and stared at him with tears still in her eyes. But that made no sense, cause the current was pulling him downwards, not towards the shore…

“Sorry, Qiao Ling…” he leaned forwards to hug her again, mildly terrified at just what had happened. “I’ll never be so stupid again…”

“No you won’t be, because you’re never going sailing again.”

“Qiao—” 

“No arguments! Do you know how bad you scared me to death?! It’s been two days, Xiaoshi. You were passed out for two days!” she pulled her phone out hastily and showed him the date. “See?! It’s the sixteenth!”

“That—I’m sorry, I’m sorry…can you not yell, I really have a headache…” he clutched at his temple and coughed softly, cause his lungs felt like they were still underwater. Qiao Ling didn’t wait another second before reaching for his bedside table and pulling out a white pill. Xiaoshi didn’t get to ask before she pulled the oxygen mask off his face, stuffed the pill into his mouth and held a cup of water up to his lips next. He swallowed the medicine down, weakly coughed again. “What’s—” 

“You’re lucky you don’t have brain damage.” she shoved a paper into his hands which seemed to be a professional diagnosis. “You have a concussion, decent damage to your lungs, minor damage to your hearing and several large bruises all over your body.” right, he could feel the bruises. He didn’t even wanna think about moving his legs right now. Qiao Ling dropped down to a chair next to his hospital bed. “You’re so lucky you’re alive…” 

Xiaoshi’s focus caught on a word on the paper stating he had ‘minor lesion’ in his left ear. He reached his hand up and felt a bandage.

“Don’t touch that. It needs to heal.”

“It hurts.” Xiaoshi noted, then stared at her. “Did I cut my ear on the boat?”

“I think your earring got caught. It was ripped out.” she answered with an uncomfortable stare. “You had a small surgery to attach your earlobe back together.”

Oh…he briefly got pissed off, cause he remembered he was wearing a silver-plated stud in that lobe that day, but he tried not to think about it too hard. It’s better than dying. It’s better than dying…

He laid back down to rest. “Do ma and ba know I’m okay?” he stared at the ceiling.

“They’ve been coming by in the evenings. They’ll bring you some food, probably.” her voice was quiet.

“And…all my stuff…”

“Your phone’s dead.” Qiao Ling informed him. “Your boat’s lost at sea somewhere, your clothes were kinda torn up, but they’re folded here.” she opened the drawer of the nightstand and showed Xiaoshi his ripped clothing. That’s fine, he’d get new clothes. At least he was alive… “Other than that, I don’t know what stuff you had with you, nothing else was recovered…”

There goes all his equipment and his expensive camera. At least he was alive, it’s better than dying…

A tear rolled from his eye. “Sorry I scared you.” he shakily let out, his breath catching in his throat awkwardly as his cries filled the room and he felt himself struggle to breathe.

Qiao Ling seemingly softened up a bit. She got up from the chair and sat down on his bed. “Oh, Xiaoshi…” she took him back into another hug and ran her hand along his back. “I love you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

It was a long few days in the hospital before he was let out. Qiao-ma and Qiao-ba doted on him like he were a child again and Qiao Ling kept reminding him how this whole accident was his fault to begin with. Thanks a lot, I know…

He sat and stared out the window of the shop, over at the ocean in the distance. He’d lost all his stuff, so it was pointless to go. He knew that. He knew that…

On the clearest day of the month (he checked!) Xiaoshi wandered over towards the coast, his swimming trunks on under his pants. 

The only change from last time was that he now carried an inhaler with him in his bag, and he wasn’t quite sure anymore how long he could be underwater. Ever since he’d quite nearly drowned, he’d been very short of breath. He constantly felt as though he had to gasp for air, as though he was drowning all over again.

He supposed this was what Qiao Ling had told him, ‘decent damage’ to his lungs, but he hadn’t taken the time to look over the diagnoses his near-drowning had afflicted him with. All he knew was that he now had to carry an inhaler around at all times, and the shop windows always stayed open for fresh air. He hadn’t even tried to exercise since that day, and he wondered if being out of breath might kill him in this state. He’d already had a few air shortages that’d really made him feel like he was suffocating…

When Xiaoshi reached the water, he found himself scared to go in. His boat was nowhere in sight, he didn’t see any of his stuff floating along the surface, he didn’t see any silver earrings shining at him from under the surface. He stood there, shin-deep in the water, and he didn’t move. He stood and stood, until he sat down after a while, used his inhaler when he started crying and struggling to breathe more, then sat down some more. Images of that day flew through his mind, and he really couldn’t bring himself to take so much as a step further into the currents.

And so he stayed away. It hurt to see the water from his shopwindow now, knowing he could never reach it. His breathing problems subsided a bit, although he still couldn’t really exercise much and was told he’d probably never be able to anymore. Not without becoming so short of breath it could be fatal.

It was boring. But a year passed since that day, and he now felt no attraction to the ocean anymore, at all. The underwater photography that used to adorn his shop was replaced by portraits of his friends and family. His books on marine life were substituted for pet photography. His interest in the world below the surface had completely vanquished.

At least he’d survived.

Sometimes he wondered about the camera he’d brought with him that day. It’d sunk to the bottom of the sea by now, sure, but it was waterproof. He wondered if it would still be recording, even now. He wondered what kind of things that lens had captured in that time.

Idiot. It’d probably died by now. Sure, it was waterproof, but being submerged in saltwater for over a year would have likely broken it regardless. He’d never see the footage he captured that day, his near-death, the storm toppling his boat.

He sat down on the rocks by the beach like any other day. Okay, maybe he hadn’t fully gotten over the ocean yet. It’d come. It’d come soon. He pulled out his sketchbook to start etching a new type of fish into the paper, one he hadn’t drawn before. No, actually… he erased the few lines he’d placed and started over. Yeah, a hermitcrab. Those are cute.

“Hey, Xiaoshi!” he heard a voice call him and turned to the direction it’d come from.

“Ah, he—!” he was cut off when he suddenly started coughing. Embarrassing…he held a hand over his mouth until it was over, and the man had gotten closer to him. “Sorry—Hey, uncle.” he smiled.

“What’re you drawing?” he came and leaned over him, which was a little humiliating, cause he felt like he’d been asked that in the same voice used to ask a child what they were working on.

“Just—nothing.” he closed his sketchbook. “Just thought I’d enjoy the view for a minute.”

“Xiaoshi.” his attention was called and he peeked up. He was smiling at him. “Hey, I’m gonna go for a quick hour, two hours along the reef. Why don’t you join me?” he kindly offered, pointing to his boat in the background.

Xiaoshi grew a bit nervous. “Ah, I wish I could, but it’s probably for the best I don’t.” he ended his sentence by briefly entering another coughing fit, not on purpose, but it definitely argued his case. He swore the air was thin today.

Yet his arm was still grabbed. He was still urged upwards. “Come, Xiaoshi. I’ll make you a nice lunch, yeah? You can sketch the sceneries from out on the water, isn’t that what you like to do?”

He was on a boat. It’d been over a year, but he found himself on a boat again. The man had prepared fish for lunch, which he didn’t normally eat, not even before his accident, but he accepted it out of gratitude.

“Xiaoshi, you know, before your parents left, we used to know each other quite well.” he started, and Xiaoshi nodded.

“I know. You’ve been a long-time friend of the business.” he smiled at him. “My dad told me about you when I was little, you were the one who inspired him to open the shop in the first place, right?”

“Ah, so he did tell you about me…” the man slowly nodded as well. Then he sighed as Xiaoshi ate another bite and felt a little short of breath again. “Did he mention to you that I actually gave him a loan to open the shop? He and your mother didn’t have the money. I lent them twenty-thousand yuan.”

Xiaoshi coughed again, this time not because of his lung injury. “Oh, wow.” he chuckled. “No, I was never told that. Thanks so much for allowing the photostudio to exist, in that case. I’m endlessly in your debt.”

“He was.” the man quite nearly interrupted him.

“Hm?” Xiaoshi’s voice was getting lighter, and he started searching in his bag for his inhaler. 

“He was indebted to me.” the man continued with a dirty tone to his voice. “He paid me back two-thousand and never the rest. Then the bastard vanished.”

“...oh.” he leaned up again for a second. “I’m really sorry. I wish I could tell you where he went…” he suddenly felt guilty, even though this wasn’t even his debt. “Hey, why don’t I develop some pictures for you for free? It’s nothing like what my dad owes you, but I’ll do any job for you as my gratitude.”

“I want the money back.” his tone got colder, and Xiaoshi finally grabbed his inhaler in his hands. He continued, “My wife’s fallen ill recently, and she can’t work anymore. I really need the loan back right now to afford to keep the both of us afloat.” he explained, which Xiaoshi empathised with.

“Right. That’s reasonable.” he agreed. Part of himself couldn’t believe this man took him out to sea just to threaten him where he couldn’t escape, part of him was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was just worried about his finances and desperate. “Ever since my accident, it’s been a little hard for me to work at the shop, so I’m not really pulling in the same kind of revenue, but I can try to pay you back as much as possible. It’s a bit difficult, cause I also still have my debts to Qiao-ba, and I need to be able to feed myself…”

He brought the inhaler up to his mouth to finally take a more controlled breath, but it was snatched out of his hands halfway through inhaling. “Xiaoshi, I really need this money.”

“I—I need that to breathe. Please.” he immediately sounded more panicked as he tried to reach over the table and grab his inhaler back, but the man was holding it out of range. “U—Uncle, I need—” he took a deep breath in, but could tell it wasn’t enough. Did he have a spare? Why didn’t he keep a fucking spare? He took another breath in, then another breath, then another one, and it still wasn’t enough.

“What are you doing? You don’t actually have a disability, do you?” the man asked, and he wished he could fucking shout at him, but he couldn’t breathe, let alone get any words out right now. He started heaving, coughing, seeing his vision turn purple. He reached even further across the table, finally managed to snatch his inhaler back and took a deep breath. 

It took him a bit over a minute of breathing into it to calm his breathing just a little bit, and he still felt like he was going to faint. The man was behind the steer again by now, Xiaoshi thinks, but he was really starting to black out. Fuck… 

He kept breathing into his inhaler as he tried to stand, walk, his limbs barely functioning from the lack of air. He hated feeling so weak like this. “Hey!” he got shouted at, but he didn’t know what for. “Hey, Cheng Xiaoshi, watch out!”

Fuck, his head—

It was raining, he could hear thunder in the distance, could see the waves getting higher and higher and closer and closer. Xiaoshi considered abandoning his boat and swimming away, but for some stupid reason he just kept trying to fix the engine and speed away—

A wave hit him, the whole boat toppled over, and as he fell out, he split his head on the edge of the boat. His clothing weighed him down as he tried to open his eyes but only saw the light from the daytime growing softer and softer as he sank down. He wanted to swim up, but his brain wouldn’t send out signals to his arms or legs to get them to move. He was fucked. He was dead, he was—

He only remembered seeing his camera sinking down with him, falling much faster than he could, as he waited to hit the seafloor—

The man’s boat tilted even just a little bit, and suddenly Xiaoshi lost his footing. He felt himself getting engulfed in water first, felt himself sinking second, and this time his eyes shot open as wide as they could and he swam. He’d make it to the surface, he knew that he would, he knew he could…!

…

…Xiaoshi couldn’t breathe. He had to remind himself not to open his mouth underwater like this, because he was definitely going to die. Just keep swimming upwards, he really tried to tell himself, but the lack of air in his blood was stopping his limbs from moving. It was just like before, and Xiaoshi could cry…

He felt someone’s lips on his. They seemed to be helping him breathe, and he appreciated that. He slowly moved his hand, trying to find where his inhaler was, but—

“Ah—!” Xiaoshi quickly sat up and started coughing. He was an idiot, cause as he was coughing he could still taste saltwater on his tongue as he coughed it up from his lungs. Breathing was so difficult, he needed his inhaler back, right now.

Someone sang a note in front of him, and he felt something pressing into his hand. Inhaler. He didn’t waste a second before taking it up to his mouth and breathing finally. His eyes were blurry and watering, his entire body was weak, but he was breathing.

Another few impressive high notes came from whoever had helped him, and he wondered if that might not be the man on the boat…? There’s no way.

“Th—nk y—” he tried to breathe out, but quickly brought his inhaler back to his mouth. Thank them once you can speak.

Whoever was singing in front of him was seriously starting to lull him to sleep, but after five or so minutes of just trying to breathe through his inhaler, Xiaoshi took it away from his mouth and finally opened his eyes.

Woah, okay, birthmark. Half his face was discoloured and blue, which actually comforted Xiaoshi somewhat, cause parts of his skin also went that colour when they weren’t getting air. Except it took Xiaoshi a bit longer to realise that he didn’t only have discoloured skin all over his face and chest as well, but he also had large, misshapen ears, gills under his eyes, and…

No legs. Not that Xiaoshi had something against people without legs, but this wasn’t a ‘people’, this was—

Nope, keep breathing. His inhaler came back to his mouth for a second as he tried not to freak out. “Wh—the—” 

He saved your life.

“Thank you.” he squeezed his eyes shut anxiously, hoped whatever creature this was understood Chinese. “Thank you for saving me. I would have died.”

The thing opened its mouth, and Xiaoshi briefly prepared himself to get eaten, but instead more melodies came out. Is it trying to talk to him…?

“Uhm—I can’t…understand you.” he nervously confessed, hoping it wouldn’t hurt him. It stopped singing. Hopefully it understood. A hand that looked way too human touched his shoulder before the creature started moving itself back into the sea. Xiaoshi watched a long tail drag along the sand. He looked like a fish? A renyu?

The creature rolled over and flopped into the water. Xiaoshi saw its scales change colour, become more vibrant, and then…

…it motioned for Xiaoshi to follow it in. This is where I die.

“S—sorry. Thank you for saving me. I—I appreciate it. I have to go back home now, to let my sister know that I’m alright…” he nervously thought up as he clutched his inhaler tightly and stood up. Against his better judgment, he started sprinting away, trying to get as far from the water as possible, cause it didn’t seem like this thing could follow him onto land. He heard more angelic notes coming from behind him and tried not to let them get into his head and draw him back to the ocean. A siren. It was the siren. From western mythology. Its song would lure him into the water to kill him.

He sprinted faster into the forest beside the coast, kept running until he eventually stopped hearing its songs and paused to breathe. He was far away enough now, surely…he took a small break against a tree.

He looked around him as he breathed into his inhaler again, the fact that he hadn’t ran like that for a year now suddenly hitting him. His legs were so out of practice.

Xiaoshi fished into his pocket to find his phone and find out where he was, though he had a slight idea. When he looked at his phone, though, uhm…

Right, he fell into the fucking water. Idiot. He slid it back into his pocket and brought his inhaler back up to his mouth. Hopefully the repairshop could take a look at that and he didn’t just lose all his stuff to the sea again.

He was in the middle of the forest. If he walked far enough in any direction he should be able to find a pathway with signs. Another quick huff of air and he got back up.

The police were waiting for him outside his shop when he got back. He didn’t wanna admit how it’d taken him over two hours just to navigate home without a working phone, cause that wasn’t a great look for him. When he stepped onto his street and saw the red-blue lights, saw Qiao Ling talking to an officer, he briefly considered not walking into this situation.

“Xiaoshi!” he didn’t get the choice. Qiao Ling sped off from the officer and sprinted in his direction, tackling him in a tight embrace when they met. “You have to stop giving me heart attacks…!”

She could probably smell the seawater on his clothes. “Sorry, Lingjie.”

“That fucking old man tried to kill you, didn’t he?” her tone shifted to an angry one as she pulled away, and Xiaoshi frowned.

“He—no, I just—”

“He turned himself in. Said he just wanted to scare you into paying some debt back, and then you started suffocating out of nowhere and fell off the boat.” well, not out of nowhere. “He—he said he searched for you, but he never saw you pop back up to the surface of the water, he thought you drowned. He turned himself in for murder, Xiaoshi.”

“I—I think you need to calm down.” he pulled her in again, cause she was definitely talking too fast, and ran a hand through her hair. “I’m okay, don’t worry. I’m not even hurt. You can tell the cops to let him free.”

Her face pressed even deeper into his chest. “But—how did you—?”

“I swam.” Xiaoshi found himself saying before he could think about why that wasn’t a smart thing to say. “I swam out myself.”

“Y—you…swam.” she slowly repeated, trying to process his words. “But you can’t—”

“I can. I can hold my breath and swim.” he lied. “How else would I have made it? Would it do you better if I told you some seamonster saved me and pulled me out of the water?”

“You…” she sighed, pulled her head away, wiped her tears and sniffed. “You’re so stupid…” she took another deep breath, trying to calm her head. “Xiaoshi…” 

He looked down at her, but her face was hidden from his view.

“You know—I…I know you love visiting the coast and sitting out there. I didn’t really have a problem with it, but…” she tucked her hair behind her ear with her fingers. “I think we should move. To a different province. Just—get somewhere without a coast, without the constant temptation…this…this is the second time you’ve had a near-death experience in the water. I mean, when the police called me just now, I felt like I was gonna die, too. The idea that you had died—”

“—I can’t leave the shop.” he interrupted her to say. It made her shake her head, but she otherwise didn’t even acknowledge him.

“Why don’t we follow Shanshan and Dong Yi? They live in the city, and they’ve become much happier as of recent. We can move there together, I’ll come with you so you won’t be alone.”

“Lingjie.”

“What if I get you a museum pass? You can go visit aquariums and nature photography exhibitions without even needing to pay for them. They have tons of those in the city, you should be able to—”

“Qiao Ling.”

“Oh, what!” she finally acknowledged him. “It’s been fifteen years, Xiaoshi, you’re an adult! You can leave the shop, they won’t come back for you!” she whined out, and now Xiaoshi pushed her off him.

“That’s not—you don’t know that. And—” he scoffed, “…I grew up here, so did you. I’m not gonna make you move just for me. I don’t want to leave here.” he firmly stated, then started back towards the shop. He was so exhausted…

“Think about yourself for once! You’ve nearly died, Xiaoshi…!” she complained, but he shook his head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he told her as he walked past the officers who were still staring at them. He pushed past and entered his building. Shop door closed, sign turned the proper way. He locked the door and headed upstairs.

He couldn’t stop dreaming about that thing.

His memories were all blurry, cause his head never thought too properly when he couldn’t breathe, but now that he reflected on it, he could remember its strong grip on him as it dragged him through the tides. He recalled being laid down on the beach while this thing helped him regain his breath again. He recalled the way it sang at him.

Right. Cause he’d heard that before.

Mid-December, one year and two months ago, the forecast foretold light rain, and Xiaoshi took his boat out to sea in the afternoon. After he’d reached slightly past the reef, he’d stopped his boat, torn his shirt off and prepared the sufficiënt equipment for the job. A camera, his goggles, his earplugs…

Except, just before he could dive down to start photographing the wildlife, he felt his boat shift. Hard. He turned over to stare out at the waves, which were still relatively tame, but the rain had picked up.

It’d be twenty minutes back to the coast from here. Xiaoshi figured he could quickly finish up and take even just a few pictures, and be back to the coast within a half-hour. 

Until a wave hit his boat hard enough to send him drifting, and even though the water was still pretending to be docile, he knew what an oncoming storm looked like. He took his equipment off again, turned his camera on to record just in case, and tried to get his engine to go, but it wouldn’t.

Yes, he was a little stupid. When not five minutes later the waves picked up to an insane degree, he stopped trying for a minute to film it all happening, commenting on how scary this was. Not scary enough to save his own life and get himself out immediately.

He didn’t want to remember what happened next, the feeling of remembering himself sinking to the seafloor and tasting salt mixed with his own blood in his mouth always made it hard for him to breathe, but…

He remembered the waves were making an awfully melodic sound that day.

He’d washed up on the shore with most of the water out of his lungs, enough so that he was breathing when he was rescued. And yet, every single memory of his and everything he knew about the way the ocean worked confirmed that he’d been sinking down. There’s no current on the seafloor that could bring him back to the coast again, especially not from outside the reef.

That thing…

It must’ve been his brain implanting fake memories into his head. In his dreams, he found himself hitting the seafloor, somehow still conscious, and saw the siren wrap its arms around him and drag him up to the surface. He saw it connecting their mouths and sucking the water from his lungs. He saw it saving him.

But it’s just his head getting the two events mixed up.

It took a week of constant nightdreams and daydreams before he sucked it up and went back into that fucking forest.

He followed the trail he’d taken to get back to the shop in reverse, and found the secluded part of land that the creature had taken him to after a bit of searching. If he was going to die trying to communicate with this thing, then he supposed it was only poetic. He sat by the waves, his feet in the water, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Creature wasn’t coming.

He supposed that the mythological siren had better things to concern itself with than the asthmatic twink he’d saved from near-death twi—once. Cause it was only once.

But how about three times?

The thought was fucking ridiculous, but it made sense to Xiaoshi. If this thing only showed up when he was in need of saving, then he should go…put himself in a desperate situation? Hold on, he had to rethink this. He was starting to scare himself.

No, he shouldn’t try to go drown on purpose. Not only cause he’d be leaving Qiao Ling behind, but also because the headline for his death of ‘local man drowns himself after experiencing two near-drownings’ would make him look ridiculous.

He stood up, put his shoes back on, and walked the trail back.

He was there again. Two days later. He couldn’t fucking help it. It’d gone from an interest to a hyperfixation, and he now had to know what this creature was, and why it had saved his life twice.

Xiaoshi stripped down, then walked farther into the water until his feet no longer touched the ground and he pushed up to swim. It was insane, because he hadn’t done this in over a year, but it wasn’t too demanding on his body, so he could keep himself afloat, at least…

He was trying to hold his inhaler above water as he was doing all this, but it was difficult. “Hello?” he shouted into the nothingness, but couldn’t hear any response. Couldn’t hear any songs. “<S—Siren>!” he didn’t know what to call this thing.

Nothing. The waves were quiet.

He took his inhaler to his mouth, took a few deep breaths, and swam out farther. He dared to put his head underwater. “Hello!!” he screamed into the water, thinking that maybe it’d hear him with its deformed ears. He immediately pulled his head out again afterwards, took another few assisted breaths, and waited.

Waited…

After another week of visiting daily, he thought he might be ready to drown himself. Part of him feared that once the creature had seen he was afraid of it back when he’d bolted away from it, it’d try to stay as far away from him as possible, and therefore wouldn’t save him this time.

That was possible. That was very possible.

He supposed he’d fucking die, then.

Xiaoshi sprinted into the water and dove. It felt freeing as it did terrifying. He’d taken a massive breath before jumping in, but could already feel the need for more air. He swam past the shallow water, past the point where he could even see the seafloor at all, and kept going. He swam and swam and swam, and swam, and swam…and swam…

His vision was blurring. He was gonna pass out. He searched around him, but there was no siren in sight. Fuck, he was actually going to die.

With the last of his strength, Xiaoshi managed to kick his legs hard enough to breach the surface of the water and gasp for breath, but now his limbs were going weak again. Oh my god, why was he so stupid. What was wrong with him?? Qiao Ling was right, they should move cities just so he doesn’t have the fucking temptation.

He needed his inhaler desperately to take some stabler breaths and get back to land, but he needed to get back to land to get his inhaler. As he weakly flailed his arms around and around, trying to propel himself forwards, he could feel the coast getting farther and farther away from him…

He wasn’t gonna make it. He so wasn’t going to survive this. This was it. Third time’s a charm. The ocean would claim him now.

Adrenaline hit him, and hard. As he continued to kick and flail around, trying to reach the coast with what little strength he still had, he found himself managing closer. He was swimming faster now, approaching land at rapid speed. He was gonna make it…!

He didn’t even step onto the sand when he reached it, just crashed down on it and gasped for breath. He flung himself onto his back and shut his eyes, feeling around for his inhaler, and…

He touched something. But he didn’t have time to question what that something was before his inhaler was in his mouth and he quickly took several deep breaths as he tried to process just what his hand was feeling up right now. It felt like a mixture between a dolphin’s fin and human skin, which was a weird combination.

He opened his eyes, and…

Birthmark. Ears. He only now noticed the bright eyes on this thing. He looked to where his hand was touching, and found he was fondling its tail. He looked back up at this fucking creature sat on top of him.

“Y—you’re…”

“♫♫.” it let out. Holy shit. 

It stared him in the eyes for a couple more seconds, before grabbing his inhaler out of his hands and looking at it. Observing it. It flopped onto its back and put it in its mouth, trying to do what Cheng Xiaoshi had just been doing, but clearly not knowing how to use this thing. 

“I—I use it to breathe.” he grabbed it back, not really wanting this creature’s saliva all over his inhaler, though it thankfully didn’t seem all that dirty.

“♩♯.” it was crazy how every time this thing opened its mouth a pitch-perfect sound came out. Xiaoshi put the inhaler back in his pocket so this thing couldn’t nab it and swim off. 

Right, he kept calling it “this thing” in his head. He wondered if it was more person or more fish. “Do you have a name…?”

The creature stared at him, then, “♪.”

Okay. “Aaah?” He matched the pitch but didn’t sound quite as angelic as the siren did. 

“♫♫.” it rolled over and pushed itself back towards the water, then held its hands out. Join me. 

Fuck it. He’d already committed to dying today. He took a few anxious steps towards this thi—towards Aaah and let it grab his hands to pull him deeper. It took him just past the shallow parts before it forced his head underwater. I’m gonna drown, oh god…

“My name’s Lu Guang.” right next to his ear scared the shit out of him, and he shot his head above water.

“What—” 

“♬.” it responded when its head was back above water, expression innocent as if it hadn’t just shaken him to his core with that. It pulled him back down, beneath the surface. “Can I know your name?”

It speaks, holy shit. H—He speaks. Lu Guang does. Lu Guang. “Lu Guang…” he pronounced out loud first, then panicked a bit. “I—Cheng Xiaoshi. I’m Cheng Xiaoshi.” he wasn’t expecting the magical creature before him to have a regular guy’s name. Lu Guang sounds like someone he’d meet just as a customer at the photostudio, or as a classmate at his old college, some kid he used to know from childhood. Not…this. “What exactly—” is it racist to ask someone ‘what they are’. Is it racist to be questioning just whether this someone was a ‘someone’ at all. He didn’t want to offend this thing for fear of dying. “Who are you?” he preëmptively took a breath as he was pulled under.

“Do you remember me? I’m the one who pulled you out of the water way back then.”

He let it—him—Lu Guang pull him further into the water. At the suggestion to take Xiaoshi back to where he lived, Xiaoshi asked if it was possible for him to walk there. It wasn’t. 

Lu Guang propelled him forwards in an old, broken-down fishingboat. He watched from the side of the wooden railing as Lu Guang held tightly onto the planks and motored it ahead. 

It was supernatural. Xiaoshi had survived near-drowning one year ago because of this thing’s supernatural interference. He supposed it was because he’d been saved by him twice, but he found himself trusting Lu Guang. He felt safe with him, weirdly, even though he was so terrified at the same time that he was taking him somewhere he’d never be able to get back from on his own.

Lu Guang arrived at his destination after ten minutes of swimming. He stared up at Xiaoshi and held his hands out to him, like he was trying to get him to jump off the boat and into the water. He supposed they’d stopped just by a cliffside. Xiaoshi figured he might live in a cave underwater. But, then…

“Uhm, I can’t breathe underwater…” he informed him, but Lu Guang shook his head. He splashed the water, then held his hands out again. Jump in.

Ready to die. I’m so ready to die, Xiaoshi had to keep reminding himself. Turning his brain off before it could protest, he held in a breath and jumped into the water, into the siren’s arms. 

Opening his eyes, he could see where Lu Guang was taking him. He could see him dragging him into a small opening that did, in fact, lead to a large underwater cave. The second they were in, Lu Guang pulled Xiaoshi upwards towards the ceiling and stopped there. Xiaoshi pushed his head above water to take a breath, then stared at Lu Guang below him somewhat fearfully. He really couldn’t breathe without using his inhaler every few minutes, especially not in a situation like this. Just the small airpocket at the top of the cave wasn’t enough. 

But he was dragged underwater again. This cave was massive. Lu Guang sped through half of it in just a few seconds before pulling Xiaoshi into another, larger airbubble. This part of the cave was fully above water. 

Xiaoshi didn’t waste a second when he sat down in the small space to pull out his inhaler, shake the water off it, and start taking breaths. It took a few minutes and a short coughing session, but he managed to get back to normal. It wasn’t the worst.

Lu Guang was looking at him funny.

“...I have a lung injury. From a year ago, when I nearly died. I have a shortage of oxygen in my blood, and I take in less air at a time, so I need this to breathe.” Xiaoshi did his usual explanation, though it felt weird to be saying this to something that wasn’t even human. Right, speaking of… “Uhm, can I ask what…species you are?” that wasn’t offensive, surely.

The cave was interesting, cause now when Lu Guang put his head underwater and spoke, the sound reverberated through the cave via the echo. “I’m human, aren’t I?”

…uhm.

“Oh, the…is the tail fake?” he asked, though he knew that wasn’t the case.

He felt especially stupid after Lu Guang pulled his head out of the water just to frown at him. “♫♭?” every time he made a new sound in that melodic voice, Xiaoshi felt his heart skip. There was a splash as he popped back into the water. “I live on the seafloor with my sister. This cave is our home.” he explained before he pulled himself up onto the stone Xiaoshi was sitting on. “♩♩.” he let out as he pointed Xiaoshi towards a bunch of trinkets lining the walls. Xiaoshi hadn’t realised he was in the middle of a massive collection, and he didn’t think he’d ever seen this much gold in his life. Holy shit.

“W—Wait that’s—” he saw a familiar lens staring back at him. He quickly crawled over to grab the camera he thought he’d lost for good, but Lu Guang hastily stopped him from getting any closer. “That’s—” he looked afraid. “That’s my camera.” he paused, then kept going when Lu Guang’s grip on him didn’t loosen up. “You can keep it, I just…do you know how to use it? I can show you…”

He let him go, handed him the camera.

Xiaoshi tried to turn the thing on, but his suspicion that this camera had long-since died was correct. “Ah, it’s broken…” A musical wail came from Lu Guang after his admission, and he scrambled to come up with something. “Oh—hey, I run a photography shop. Why don’t I take the camera back and fix it?”

“♪♪…?”

“I’ll go back and fix it, and then I’ll come back tomorrow, to that little sliver of beach we keep meeting on. I’ll show you how to use it, then.”

Lu Guang let out a short cough before hurling himself back towards the water and getting all wet again. “What does it do?”

Xiaoshi reached into his pocket for his phone, only to remember that he left it on the beach. Right. “Have you ever seen a picture before?” he asked, and Lu Guang just stared. “It’s a moment captured in time, like a person, or a scenery, but it’s portrayed flat. On a piece of paper or on a screen, for instance. It’s a reflection of reality.”

“♫♫♭.” a more cheerful tune as he nodded. He dipped back under. “Do I wait for you tomorrow?”

“Uh—let’s schedule a time…” he looked around him and found that there was nothing in this cave to tell him the time. “Do you know what time is?” he felt stupid asking.

“When the moon rises and sets.” was not really how Xiaoshi would’ve described it, but Lu Guang got the gist.

“D’you know what three in the afternoon is?” he asked, and Lu Guang pulled up out of the water and stared at him. Okay. “Can you read numbers?” he next asked and saw Lu Guang nod. 

Okay…against his better judgment, he took his smartwatch off and showed it to Lu Guang. “This device is waterproof, so you should be able to wear it. He showed the numbers on the screen. “Can you read this?”

Lu Guang blinked, then dipped his head underwater. “seventeen-hundred and fifty?”

Oh damn, it actually was that late already. “Right, ten to six.” he corrected, but that might've confused Lu Guang. “Uh—sorry. It’s ten minutes to eighteen ‘o clock. This side only runs to sixty before it resets, see?” he showed him the seconds counter up close, and Lu Guang slowly nodded like he understood. He grabbed Lu Guang’s right wrist (he visibly grimaced at that touch, but Xiaoshi wasn’t sure why) and hooked the watch onto his wrist. “When that counter reaches fifteen tomorrow, I’ll be waiting on the beach, okay? The—the left side only goes to twenty-four.”

Lu Guang stared fascinatedly at the screen as the numbers changed every second. He dipped his hand in the water and pulled it back out, only to find the seconds continued counting. “♪♪.”

The watch looked a little out of place on Lu Guang’s arm, considering it shared the space with three golden rings. He wondered what Lu Guang’s obsession with gold was, if it was kinda similar to certain animals in nature who collected shiny things for the sake of collecting shiny things. “Should we trade?” Xiaoshi asked, and Lu Guang looked up again. “Since I’m giving you something valuable of mine, I can hold onto your bracelets for you until I come back tomorrow, right?”

Wow did that get him a look of disdain. He didn’t think he’d ever see a mythical creature get nervous right in front of him. But after fidgeting around for a minute or so, Lu Guang gave him one of the three bracelets around his right wrist. Xiaoshi smiled as he slid it around his hand. There was…trust here, in any case?

“Don’t break it, okay?” Xiaoshi told Lu Guang, who frowned but nodded. He opened his mouth again to let out a melody. This was so bizarre, but Xiaoshi was befriending a sire—a huma—uhm… He made friends with a guy who lives on the seafloor…?

It was dark out as he was taken back to the secluded beach. He didn’t actually know why Lu Guang had saved him yet, didn’t know what he actually was, didn’t know why he couldn’t speak on land, didn’t know where he’d come from…

But now he was taking orders from him. Lu Guang was a customer, and he had to fix his own stolen camera for him…

Bizarre.

Although, if all this could give him an excuse finally to get back into diving without fear of dying at any given point in time, then Xiaoshi would happily take it. He could go swimming with Lu Guang, maybe, and he’d keep him from drowning out on the water… He could give Lu Guang little trinkets in exchange, which he seemed to enjoy collecting. It was mutually beneficial.

Xiaoshi spent all night fixing the camera. He didn’t waste a second and he refused to fall asleep, not even when his eyelids felt so heavy they were dragging his whole head down. He was going to teach Lu Guang photography.

He slept from four, when he’d finally finished, until one in the afternoon. Two hours to get to Lu Guang. Two hours, two hours…

He popped his phone into a ziploc bag and stuffed it in his pocket. It wouldn’t kill him to be early. He was excited, so who cares if he’s early? Lu Guang would show up on time, he trusted that, so he could spend a good two hours sitting on that petite beach sketching out a fish, or an invertebrate, or…a siren.

He considered it as he was walking towards their meetspot. He should not only photograph Lu Guang, he should totally try drawing him, too. Paper, graphite, pen, acrylics, oilpaints, none of it worked underwater. Lu Guang had probably never seen a drawing or painting before. Maybe he could pick up some spraypaint and try his hand at graffitiing the inside of his cave. Or, he supposed he could just do that with regular paints…maybe a paint that stuck on stone? Water resistant? Oh my god, he should make a fresco—

Xiaoshi was cut off in his thoughts when he heard a melody coming from in front of him. He checked his phone, which showed three-past two. But when he looked up again, Lu Guang was in front of him. Another soft melody.

“Lu Guang!” he called, and watched him flop onto his stomach to look ahead.

“♫♭!” he heard, quickly ran ahead to meet him.

“You’re early!” he said, a little excitement breaking into his tone.

Lu Guang stared at the camera Xiaoshi was holding until he realised and held it out to him. Clutching it tightly, Lu Guang rolled back into the water and urged Xiaoshi down with him.

“Did you not manage to read the times well?” he asked as Lu Guang splashed the water once again, convincing him to put his ear in.

“I didn’t want to be late, so I’ve been here for five cycles.”

Five…cycles? “Huh?” he asked, and Lu Guang pointed at the numbers on the watch, at the ‘fourteen’ on the side. “Five…hours. You’ve been here for five hours? Since nine?” 

Lu Guang checked the watch again, then nodded his head strongly. He supposed you have nothing better to do sometimes when you live on the seafloor. Goddamn.

“W—well, I’m glad you were excited…” he smiled. “Should I teach you how to use it?”

“♬♬!” he crawled back onto the sand and laid down beside where Xiaoshi sat. Cheng Xiaoshi super wasn’t sure how smart Lu Guang was, if he’d die the minute he saw any technology being used in front of him, if he’d understand the concept of taking a picture.

He started with turning the camera on.

“♪” Lu Guang melodied as he watched the screen light up. He supposed that aside from the watch now, Lu Guang had never seen technology like this before. Not in a functional state, at least.

After the brand’s logo showed itself for a good second, the screen turned on and reflected the ocean in front of it. Lu Guang didn’t waste a second before snatching it from Xiaoshi’s hands and starting to peer through it. He pointed it around him, making new surprised noises each time the screen on the camera changed.

He pointed the camera at Cheng Xiaoshi, then lowered it and stared at him, then looked through the viewfinder again, and repeated that about four times. “♫♫♫♫!!”

Lu Guang started coughing directly after, wheezing for breath, and he quickly dropped the camera and crawled back to the water to get all wet again. Then he crawled back out towards Xiaoshi.

“Oh, you…” he spoke, and Lu Guang stared up at him with innocent eyes. “R—right, I didn’t think about it, that you can’t breathe on land.” he took a quick huff of his inhaler as he picked the camera back up, wiped the sand off it. “Uhm…here,” he scooted a bit closer to the water, so Lu Guang could stay half-submerged in it. Xiaoshi slid his boots off and kept his feet in the water.

“♩” Lu Guang sounded, keeping his tail in the water as well. He scooted in closer to Xiaoshi as he started showing him the features on the camera.

“The ISO, aperture and shutterspeed determine the exposure of your photograph, so…” he pointed at each button individually and named them, so Lu Guang knew what he was talking about. “You use this camera button to flip through them, and then the up or down buttons to increase or decrease.” he scooted away a little and took a quick, overexposed picture of Lu Guang. “Here, this is you, see?”

“♫?” Lu Guang stared at his photograph, took the camera into his hand, and squinted his eyes. He sang a longer tune as he seemingly recognised himself, and then turned to Cheng Xiaoshi with a great smile.

“Yeah?” he smiled back, unsure of what Lu Guang was trying to communicate, and assuming he was rather impressed with the technology. “Here, hold it.” he went back to the viewfinder and gave the camera to Lu Guang. “If you press the round button on the top, it’ll take a picture.” he told him, and then immediately heard his photo being taken.

Xiaoshi guided Lu Guang towards the button that showed the camera roll, and they both stared at the picture. With the sun behind Xiaoshi, the high exposure really ruined this shot, cause he was way too white.

“Okay, point the camera towards me again, and then try increasing the aperture and lowering the shutter speed. ISO should go automatically…in theory you should keep adjusting the lighting until it looks roughly like how it does in real life, or preferably better.” he watched Lu Guang hit the proper buttons and start fidgeting. “Once your shot’s ready, hold the camera steady and take a picture.”

“♬” he let out, and Xiaoshi heard a camera shutter. He shuffled back next to Lu Guang to check, and…

“Oh, nice. That’s already much better!” he smiled, nudged Lu Guang in the side, who proudly smiled in response. “Hey, so…this camera’s waterproof, and I used to use it to take photos of different types of fish or other sealife. I really love the synchiropus splendidus, the mandarinfish or mandarin dragonet. They’re so hard to spot amidst the coral in the reef, but I can’t tell you how rewarding it was every time I got a good shot of one. I’m also biased cause the best photograph I’ve ever taken was one of a mandarinfish.” he realised he was blabbing on suddenly, and snapped back to reality. “Oh—sorry, my point, my point…” he chuckled. “I—I can’t, uh…dive anymore, but maybe you could start taking pictures of the things you see in your daily life for me, right?”

Lu Guang finally retreated to the water and flopped onto his back. Xiaoshi crawled towards the water and stuck his ear in. “Can I keep both objects?”

“...Seriously?” he pulled his head out of the water and stared Lu Guang down, who irritably splashed the water again and urged him to listen to him again.

“I’ll give you my rings…” he meekly said when Xiaoshi put his ear back in, and Xiaoshi stared at his own wrist, which still had a golden bracelet around it. 

“...it’s not real gold, is it?” he asked, to which Lu Guang quickly nodded. He made a sour face as he slid the rings off of his arm and handed them to Xiaoshi. He was handing him real gold. What in the world…

Xiaoshi accepted, cause what else was he supposed to do, and then sighed. “I guess I’ll buy a new watch, then…” he slid the remaining two rings onto his arm as well.

Lu Guang reached up and grabbed his head in his hands, then dragged his head down into the water again. “Can I start to take pictures now?”

“Oh…” he pulled back up and took a short breath. “Y—you, uh…I guess you don’t need me…” he nervously chuckled. “But, uh…if you saved me a year ago, then…did you happen to see where my boat went? If so, then I could sort of go with you, even if I can’t go below the water…”

“...I can take you to the graveyard, and you can see if your boat is there.” Xiaoshi could just faintly hear without his head underwater.

The graveyard? A ship graveyard? “...on the seafloor, isn’t it?”

Lu Guang nodded. He sank farther into the water and held his hands out for Xiaoshi, but he didn’t move.

“...Lu Guang, I’m…” he took a deep breath, used his inhaler again, and then stared at the device in his hands. “I know I’m, uh…I’ve been open so far, to visit where you live and everything, but…” this sounded so stupid. “I’m actually kind of scared of the water. Even if I trust you to save my life if things get bad, I don’t think I could ever really…dive. You know? My heart might give out even before my lungs do…” he sadly chuckled.

Lu Guang continued staring at him for a second, before crawling back onto land, dropping next to Xiaoshi. He took in a deep breath of air, and immediately starting to choke. He heaved and coughed, water beginning to spurt out of his mouth as he gasped for breath.

“H—Hey—?” Xiaoshi panickedly grabbed Lu Guang from under his arms as he was still coughing. He strained himself to drag Lu Guang back into the water, to pull him into the tides.

Lu Guang only stopped coughing once Xiaoshi forced his head underwater, at which point he took a deep breath in and then raised his head right back out.

“♫♫.”

…still slightly panicking, Xiaoshi put his inhaler to his mouth for a couple seconds before kneeling down and setting his ear in the water.

“I’m afraid of land, too. And of people.” was what Lu Guang said. Then, “But I trust you.”

…you’re so annoying. He raised his head up and stared down at Lu Guang, then walked back onto the shore.

“♫♫♫♫.” Lu Guang called him, but he sat down where it was dry and took his sketchbook out of his backpack. “♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫!!” Lu Guang still called.

“I’m busy.” he irritably tsked. “And you’re insane.” he still, however, couldn’t think of a better thing to put to paper than drawing the sight before him; Lu Guang. “Why don’t you go take some pictures and show them to me later? I need a minute.”

“♪♭.” Lu Guang flopped away, and Xiaoshi watched how the waves submerged him. He understood what he was getting at, Lu Guang was capable of saving him if he needed during a dive, but that didn’t mean he was eager to go out and risk his life. Even if Lu Guang had saved him the past few times, that doesn’t mean he’d came out unscathed. The complete opposite of that, actually, considering ever since he almost drowned the first time, he’d been granted a lifelong disability.

He drew the next few lines on his paper. It was fine, Lu Guang could take pictures without him. Even just seeing the results would make Xiaoshi happy. He didn’t have to go down there and see for himself…

He didn’t, no.

He wasn’t jealous.

“Hey, is there a way to become like you…like, with a tail and all, and able to survive underwater?” Xiaoshi asked when Lu Guang came swimming back a half-hour later with some photographs of the sealife. As in, a picture of a fish that he was actively squeezing in his hand and a scared crab which he was holding like a hamburger and a shark even, which was eyeing him strangely. The pictures were blurry and underexposed, but at least Xiaoshi could make out what they were…most of them.

“♩♩♩” Lu Guang said, which was Xiaoshi’s cue to get his head in the water. “If we have a child together, the child will look like me, with a tail. Then, nursing her and caring for her can turn you into one of us, too.”

What a jumpscare of an answer. “Uhm—” he turned a bit red. “That—we’re not really there yet, are we?” he turned even redder at the implication. “You’re, uh…a guy, aren’t you?”

Lu Guang leaned onto his hand and stared up at Xiaoshi like that question confused him, and then slowly nodded. Right, his bottom half is…a fish, he supposed. So, then, he’s not male, but…the equivalent of a male fish? Should he reproduce the same as normal fish do? Xiaoshi stared at him all the weirder.

“Is it…invasive if I ask how that works for you?” his interest was piqued.

Lu Guang tilted his head, then rolled over in the water. Xiaoshi moved down to listen. “You rub tails with a female, she’s pregnant for a few weeks, and then gives birth, right?” he blinked. “I’ve never done it.”

Xiaoshi coughed, cause he swallowed wrong, and quickly brought his inhaler up to his mouth. “Few weeks.” he repeated, then fell back onto the beach. Exactly like how fish do it, then. A few weeks…?! “Uhm…” he weirdly laughed, then shook his head. “Nevermind, nevermind. Forget I asked. I don’t need to become like you.” he turned to the side, before his head was yanked back into the water by his hair. 

“You’re also male, right? If you need me to, I can become female.” he said an even worse line, and so Xiaoshi now scooted away from the water. “♬♬?” he heard called after him.

“That’s—that’s fine. I’m okay, actually. You can—you—you don’t have to do that.” he took another few deep breaths and tried his best to get his face cooled off. Was it so casual for him to talk about this? Or, actually, Lu Guang’s been prancing around naked all this time, and he knew that fish didn’t derive any pleasure out of sex, so…

…but paired with a human upper half that was such a weird thought. He didn’t see it as lewd in the slightest? The question of whether Lu Guang felt pleasure at all stayed on the tip of his tongue, cause he really wasn’t trying to get in his pa—uh, in his…tail.

“Uhm…oh, right…” he turned away and thought to change the subject. “Since you, uh…gave me these gifts, (he raised his hand with Lu Guang’s rings around his wrist) I drew this for you.”

Xiaoshi handed him a sliver of paper—firm sketchbook paper that wouldn’t so easily dissolve in water—which he hesitantly took. He was clearly unfamiliar with the material, but jumped a bit when he turned it over and saw the drawing. It wasn’t his best work, but it was the sketch he’d made of Lu Guang that day that he was most satisfied with, of Lu Guang laying on the beach with the camera in his hands.

“...we should go back to your cave sometime, and I’ll give you a bigger gift. I can install an artpiece like this directly into your wall, if you like.”

“♪♪♪!” he sounded excited. But then a second or two passed, and he dimmed down. “♩.”

“...huh?” Xiaoshi laid forwards again to lay his ear in, and…

“You can’t come anymore. My sister will be home.” he told him, and Xiaoshi frowned.

“Oh, that’s okay, right? I wouldn’t mind meeting your family.”

“She doesn’t want to meet you.” he shook his head. “She was out all day yesterday, but she’s home now.” he told him, and Xiaoshi nodded.

“Okay, when will she be out again?” he instead asked, not wanting to pry.

Lu Guang made an uncomfortable-sounding hum, and then checked his watch. “She leaves for a few…hours,” he tapped on the watch, “just after the moon sets.”

Just after the… “The sunrise?” he asked, and Lu Guang frowned at him, but nodded. Sunrise, sunrise… he picked his phone up and started typing something in, just to be sure that… “Sunrise is at six in the morning, Lu Guang…” 

And he nodded again.

“...I’ll be here at six in the morning, then? Really?” 

A nod.

…ugh.

Ugh! He walked back when it was nearing six in the evening, which meant that he had about four hours to get into bed in order to get an appropriate amount of sleep. That said, maybe just two hours. He wanted to sleep for longer if he’d be up so early. He had to get something to eat and quick.

But…there Qiao Ling was, on his entryway couch.

“Oh, you remembered where you live.” she dully commented when he walked in, not peeking up from her phone.

Right. “You here for dinner? What should I make you?” he asked somewhat breathlessly, then took a gulp of air from his inhaler.

“Stop.” she ordered, and he did. Her phone was tossed aside as she suddenly came to stand up beside him and sniffed his clothes, then his hair, then his hands, and… “What are you doing, Xiaoshi, seriously?” she sounded so tired and disappointed.

“...I’m an adult, I’m allowed to go out.” he tried to walk away, but she tugged his hand back. “Qiao—”

“You—” she stopped herself from shouting. “Xiaoshi, I know it’s difficult, okay? I understand. But you’re disabled. You can’t swim. You’re endangering yourself and risking your life by trying.”

“I wasn’t swimming, I…” he was yanked towards her again.

“Please, just…” she turned her head. “The shop isn’t working out for you anymore, right? You barely have life in your eyes developing other peoples’ photographs. I know how much you loved the ocean. I understand why you still want to go back there, but…” she sighed. “Ba says the rest of the debt can be forgotten. He says you should save up some funds and move to the city. I even discussed it with my company, they’ll let me move to a neighbouring branch in Nanqing. We can move in together, and I’ll pay the bills starting out. You can focus on finding something that speaks to you, okay? I promise, you’ll be happy.”

Xiaoshi felt soft tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t want to go to Nanqing, I want to stay in Guidu, I promise I wasn’t swimming today, I wasn’t putting myself in danger—”

“I smell the seawater on you, Xiaoshi.” she squeezed her face together as she spoke as if the words physically pained her. “It’s okay, I get it, and you’re not hurt, but just…listen to me.” she let go of his hand and grabbed his face instead. “We’ll have a better life, we’ll be okay.”

But he pulled away from her finally. “I’m not—I’m not depressed, okay? I’m fine mentally and I’m fine living here.” his eye twitched.

“Xiaoshi, please, I know you better than that—”

“—clearly not then! Fine, if you have to know what I was doing today, since you’re my mom or whatever, I was out with a friend. He just lives by the coast, I wasn’t swimming.”

She stayed silent for a second before frowning. “A friend?”

“Shocking, I know, even I have them.” he scoffed and headed into the kitchen. “Chicken or beef?”

“W—wait, who? I’m serious.” she followed behind and stood in the kitchenette doorway. “None of your friends live by the coast.”

“I met him recently.” he mumbled. “His name’s Lu Guang.” it was barely audible.

“Lu Yuan?”

“Guang. Lu Guang.” he forced himself to speak up. “I was showing him how to use an underwater camera, since he had one and wanted to learn how to take photographs.” he said, but nothing could ease Qiao Ling’s suspicions in this state.

“...can I meet him?” she asked next, and he froze.

“He doesn’t like people.” Xiaoshi’s eye twitched again as he continued speaking.

“Sure he doesn’t.”

“He told me that today. He doesn’t like people.” he wasn’t lying or anything.

“He clearly likes you, why can’t he like me?” 

“It’s not your business, jie, so you don’t have to meet him. He doesn’t like people.” he just repeated, growing irate. “Seriously, he’s gonna think you’re overbearing.”

“Who’s overbearing?” she hit him in the shoulder, and he moved to hit her back. “Ah! Hey—you’ve been out for half the day twice in a row now, you’re not even doing any work at the shop, and now you have an imaginary friend that lives by the coast that I can’t meet.” she told him sternly, “Just to prove you’re not lying to me, Xiaoshi, I have to check it for myself.”

“Sorry, I take it back, he’s gonna know you’re overbearing.” he spoke, and she hit him in the shoulder again. “You know, for someone who’s disabled and needs to be cared for, you sure do hit me a lot.”

“You—” she let out a frustrated sigh. “When will you see him next? I’ll go with you.”

The truth, then. “Tomorrow at six in the morning. He lives a halfhour away.” 

“Wh—what in the world are you doing at his at six in the morning?” she scoffed, clearly still not believing him.

“That’s the only time his sister’s out. Apparently she’s really unfriendly, so she doesn’t wanna meet me.” he further explained, his casual tone as he told what he knew to be the truth confusing Qiao Ling all the more.

“Why’re you hanging around such unfriendly people?” she stayed silent for a second as Xiaoshi got more ingrediënts from the fridge and decided what to make. “Fine.” she resolved, and Xiaoshi thought she’d finally let it go. “Fine, six it is.” he internally grimaced. 

“I’m not taking you there, Lingjie. He doesn’t like meeting people.” he once more clarified. “I’m just getting close to him and I don’t want to scare him off by bringing you to see him unprompted.

“He can’t be that irritable, come now.” she came to stand beside him in the kitchen and leaned onto him.

“You’re annoying when you worry.” he told her as he turned the fire on.

She stayed the night at the studio, even. Just so she could be there when he woke up. Overbearinggg…

“Well, I’m ready to meet this Liu…”

“Lu Guang.” Xiaoshi tiredly filled in as he walked into the bathroom.

“Lu Guang!” she recalled. “Can’t wait.” she gave him a grin, and he sighed all the harder for it. 

Overbearing…!!!

She’s so annoying she’s so annoying she’s so annoying, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking as he dragged his feet along the footpath and in the direction of the beach. She seemed very satisfied with herself as she probably thought this was still Xiaoshi making everything up considering how annoyed and tired he was to get up at this hour.

It was a few minutes to six and he made it through the forest to the small sliver of coast they often met on. “Wait here.” he told Qiao Ling just before they could see the beach. “I’ll ask him if he’s okay meeting you first.”

“Mhm. Right.” she nodded her head and stared ahead of her as Xiaoshi vanished behind a couple more trees. He didn’t really pride himself on leaving Qiao Ling alone in a forest right now, but she was surely fine for just five minutes…

“Lu Guang!” Xiaoshi shouted and got his attention, which he responded to by letting out a joyful melody.

He sang as Xiaoshi came closer and knelt down beside him. Instantly, he offered Xiaoshi his hand, the boat behind him, but Xiaoshi didn’t take it yet.

“S—sorry, just before we go, is it okay if my sister meets you…? She seriously won’t let this go, and she thinks I have an imaginary friend.” he told Lu Guang, and once he’d processed his words, he stilled.

His face morphed uncomfortably, and Xiaoshi could probably tell he was going to say no. What he didn’t expect was how hard he’d get rejected. “♩…” Lu Guang retracted into the water and then quickly swam away after.

“Hey—” he called after him, but the tides went silent. Did he just leave? Was he gone?

“Xiaoshi, what’s going on…?” Qiao Ling ran up behind him and stared out at the same empty coast as he did. “Uhm…so where’s your friend’s place?” she asked cautiously, but then started chuckling a second later. “Does he live under a rock in the ocean?”

“He’s real! He just—” before he could process it himself, his shoes were off, he stripped himself of his coat. “I’ll show you.”

“Huh? Cheng Xiaoshi—” she couldn’t grab him in time before he started sprinting into the water and dove down. “Xiaoshi!” she stopped herself just short of the water.

Xiaoshi was gone. He couldn’t see Lu Guang under the water here, but if anything, he was for sure that he would save him. He knew it in his soul. He hoped. He really hoped. 

The water engulfing him like this was so exhilarating…

He didn’t even get the chance to start drowning this time. The minute his limbs began feeling weak, he felt strong arms around him bringing him back to the coast. Xiaoshi was laid down on the beach and handed his inhaler. It’s like Lu Guang was on autopilot.

But when Xiaoshi caught a good glimpse of him, he saw the clear distress on Lu Guang’s face. He opened his mouth to speak, but heard Qiao Ling from beside him.

Her tone sounded horrified as she spoke, “Xiaoshi, what…is that?” she took a quick breath as Lu Guang looked in her direction.

Xiaoshi quickly grabbed Lu Guang’s shoulders and sat up. “His name’s Lu Guang! He’s the reason I’m still alive today. One year ago, my accident—he’s the one who saved me.” he very quickly and very proudly proclaimed, which seemingly made Lu Guang shy.

He opened his mouth like he was going to sing something, but no sound came out. Qiao Ling took a step closer to Lu Guang, and he instinctually backed away. “But—what…? Is that a fish?” she reached her hand for his face, and Lu Guang sucked in a deep breath.

Xiaoshi heard a loud, ungodly hiss from above him suddenly, causing him to let Lu Guang’s shoulders go. Qiao Ling jumped back in fear as Lu Guang was making a scarier face than Xiaoshi’d ever seen on him before. He snarled at her for longer, even jumping forwards to prove that he wasn’t to be messed with, before he immediately scurried back into the water.

“L—Lu Guang!” Xiaoshi shouted when he came to a little more. He took a few quick breaths with his inhaler as he stood up and tried running back into the water, but was pulled back. “What—”

“Can you be smart with yourself and not die right now?!” Qiao Ling shouted. “That thing is dangerous, it’s going to hurt you! Did you see it just now?”

“Can you not call him a thing!” Xiaoshi tugged his hand back. “He’s my fr—!”

He felt a strong hit to his side now as Qiao Ling let him go. “We’re moving. I’ll get a place near the center. We should be out in a month or two.” Qiao Ling simply said, then took his hand again to leave, but he quickly tugged it back. “Xiaoshi.”

He dropped to the ground and reached into his bag for his art supplies. “Just leave me.” he placed the first line on his empty page and formed a simple shape. Qiao Ling’s face turned into pure discomfort, she opened her mouth to say more, but instead sighed, touched his back shortly, and then walked away.

“Stay away from…‘Lu Guang’.” she still said before vanishing into the forest.

…like clockwork, it was only a couple minutes after she’d vanished that Lu Guang came washing up on the shore again. Xiaoshi peeked up at him, then sadly looked back down.

“Sorry for scaring you.” Xiaoshi just said. “I told her you wouldn’t want to meet her, but she insisted. I shouldn’t have brought her here.”

Xiaoshi next watched his sketchbook become entirely soaked as Lu Guang splashed water onto him. He looked up with a frown, and Lu Guang stared back at him. He was crying.

“...what’s wrong…?” he somberly asked him as he put his book aside and crawled farther towards the water, but even putting his head in, Lu Guang didn’t say anything. He kept crying. “...I’m sorry.” Xiaoshi got closer and attempted to hug Lu Guang, but he quickly crawled out of that touch. When Xiaoshi backed away again, he folded in half.

His lips just touched the water, and when he next spoke, Xiaoshi could softly hear, “People don’t like me.”

“...my sister—”

“♫♫♫!” he next loudly shouted, then put his head back underwater. “Can you not try to kill yourself like that again?!”

…right. “I—I only did that cause I knew you would—” he cut himself off when Lu Guang glared up at him angrily. “I’m—sorry.” he nervously looked away. He didn’t like to be touched, he couldn’t give him any physical comfort. “Can I make it up to you?”

———

Lu Guang guided him back to the same cave. He dragged him underwater and this time sped through the deep part of the cave, dropping Xiaoshi on the raised part immediately. He gasped for breath and tore his inhaler out of the ziploc bag he’d kept it in this time. He took a deep breath.

“...ugh.” Xiaoshi turned his head and realised Lu Guang was gone. He reäppeared just a few seconds later with Xiaoshi’s bag in his hands, and dropped that beside him. Right.

He took all his art supplies out of their plastic and set them down. “So, you like my drawings, right?” he tried to raise up onto his feet, but his muscles felt weak right now. Best to stay seated for now, he thought as he took another few assisted breaths.

When he looked down at his legs, he could see even in this lighting his purpletinted skin. Lu Guang was already looking through his stuff, and he watched him nearly nab his keys before he snatched them back out of his hand.

“I need those.” Xiaoshi irritably said, and Lu Guang dropped them. He stuffed them back into his bag as he kept breathing through the inhaler. “Sorry, I need a minute.” he softly gasped out.

“♩♩♩.” Lu Guang laid down beside him and watched. He felt Lu Guang trail a hand over the skin of his shin that was discoloured. He trailed his hand up to then touch a bluespot on his arm, and then he grabbed his shoulder, which was regularly coloured. “♩.” he just noted. Maybe he was surprised how his skin felt, considering Lu Guang’s had a very scaly texture to it.

“It’s my condition.” Xiaoshi said when he finally took his inhaler away. “I’ve had that bluespot on my leg for probably a year now. Oxygen doesn’t always travel through my body properly.” he explained, and Lu Guang nodded.

“♫♯.” he fell back into the water. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you faster.” echoed through the cave.

“...I don’t think anything you could’ve done would’ve prevented me from getting injured in this way. My lungs were injured the minute water even entered them. That’s just how it worked out.” he dragged his head to the side to stare down at Lu Guang. “I don’t…regret it too much anymore. It’s been a year, I’ve mostly grown used to living like this.”

“It sounds difficult, though.”

“Sure. That’s why it’s a disability.” he finally sat up now that he could comfortably breathe. “Anyways, uh…art…” he stared down at his supplies. “Cave painting is one of the oldest techniques out there. Since you like…decoration so much, I could paint you something shiny in here. If I work on a fresco or something similar, you could even put it under the water, where I assume you spend most of your time…”

“How does it work?” Lu Guang curiously asked.

A fresco? “I’ll have to work on it aboveground. It’s not toxic once it’s dried, so it should be alright to hang up. I’ll have to pick up some materials, but it’s basically a painting painted directly into wet plaster, so that the wall retains its colour when it dries.” he chuckled. “I’ve never painted one before, but I’m excited to try.”

“Mmmn.” he heard a small laugh. “Can you sketch it out? I can’t wait to see it.”

Qiao Ling said nothing when he was back in the shop by noon. She was still hanging around, and so he made her lunch before going out again. She followed.

“Why’re you buying plaster?”

Xiaoshi sniffed. “I’m making a fresco.” he said as he roughly calculated how much he would need to fill a wall or two. A lot, he supposed.

“You don’t have money for this.” she commented, reading the pricetags on the things he was stuffing into his cart.

“I’ll get the money for it.” he sighed. “Are you just gonna nag me in everything I do today?”

“It’s for that creature, isn’t it?” she crossed her arms.

“That’s a yes.” he let out a sharp breath before pushing his cart away from her. “He’s a person, not a creature.”

“He’s a monster, Xiaoshi. He’s dangerous. Did you not see him jump at me?” she continued, and the pit in his stomach grew.

“That’s cause you were reaching for him. He probably thought you wanted to hurt him.”

“...what even is he? It’s a mermaid, right?” she whispered her words suddenly, not wanting to be heard anymore.

Xiaoshi shrugged. “He says he’s human.”

“He speaks?”

“...we should change the subject.” his brain grew tired and he suddenly didn’t want to have this conversation with Qiao Ling anymore. Not that she would let him escape.

He kept meeting Lu Guang every other day anyways. In the week or so that had passed, Xiaoshi had spent a few days installing a small, wooden dock that was just underwater for him to lay on as he spoke to Lu Guang, he’d spent a day or so preparing the surface and size of the fresco, and another two days painting the first few parts. He’d come to the beach to work on it, and eventually Lu Guang would turn up to see how it was going.

Xiaoshi needed something colourful for Lu Guang. He wasn’t particularly adept at backgrounds but after ten sketches of the exact same scene, each a little more refined than the last, he felt comfortable-ish to start. The piece he’d ended up starting was a fresco painting of a school of fish, all decked out in gold just like Lu Guang was. He’d spent the past few days just painting in the bottom few corners, drawing a crab or two with golden shells.

Lu Guang smiled whenever he looked at the progress, so Xiaoshi assumed he was happy with the results.

A few more weeks passed, and he’d learnt a fair bit about Lu Guang, too. He was twenty-two years old, if he did the math properly (according to Lu Guang, he was eight-thousand-one-hundred-and-two moonrises old, or eighty-one constellations). Twenty-two years, Xiaoshi had told him, to which Lu Guang responded by being immensely confused at why the cutoff was three-hundred-sixty-five days. He supposed that when you spend your life underwater, you don’t really get to research the solar system. He wonders if Lu Guang would think the earth was flat.

Lu Guang could talk endlessly, however, about how things worked underwater. The dynamics between predator and prey, the inner workings of a seacreature’s brain, the living conditions and biological functions that make up creatures which breathe underwater, and how a creature like himself exists in the state he currently does.

Xiaoshi thought that Lu Guang, just experiencing and living this in his daily life, had more knowledge on the underwater world than any researcher could if they dedicated their life to the subject. Xiaoshi excitedly listened as he rambled on about the behaviours of animals he thought he’d understood in full, but apparently hadn’t. There was so much more to learn.

“Could you tell me how it works between people living above ground and the ones living beneath the surface?” he still hadn’t called him a siren to his face. “How come you guys are so reclusive? It’s not really widely known that you exist. I’ve only heard stories in folklore.”

“We’re scared of them, so we hide from them.” came Lu Guang’s answer. “My mother never taught me much, but when I was young she told me they wiped out half my kind a thousand or so constellations ago and they’ll do it again if we’re ever found, so I try to stay away from people who don’t look like me.”

“...of course.” Xiaoshi sighed. “And I’d assume that in today’s age, instead of killing what we’re afraid of, we’d probably try to capture and control you. Research you and everything…”

Lu Guang made a distressed sound.

“...why would you save my life, then? If we scare you, then why not leave me to die?”

There was a brief pause where he just heard Lu Guang breathing under him, before a meek, “I felt bad for taking your earring,” sounded.

Xiaoshi reached up to his left ear which still had a small scar on it from where his lobe was attached back together. “That was you?!” he turned over and stared at Lu Guang below the dock. “...oh, it was silver, no wonder…!” he fell back down and reached his hands up to his head. A few coughs came out, and he took another deep breath with his inhaler.

“And, uh…you probably know, but I don’t live near anyone else. My sister and I are alone.” he coughed nervously. “Uh…I thought, maybe someone from above ground would be willing to help me out if I’d helped them, too. I thought they’d be willing to understand me.”

And you have to literally save someone from drowning to do that.

“Mostly, I’d never seen that device before, the camera, and I wanted to see what it did. So thanks for teaching me to use it.”

Ah. Xiaoshi chuckled and turned his head. “You know, if you give the camera back to me, I can take it to the shop and print the pictures out. Or you can try sending the pictures straight to my phone, same thing. You’ll have a handheld version of your photograph, not just the version on the screen. You can put them up somewhere.”

He heard Lu Guang swim out from under the dock and watched him excitedly jump on top of him. He saw Lu Guang’s wet hairs come to rest against his chest and heard a small melodic sigh from him. Slightly intrigued, Xiaoshi reached up his hand to stroke his hair, somewhere he recalled he’d never touched Lu Guang before.

Almost like a cat, he noted a soft purring from him as he did so. “♬♬.” he hugged him. He could totally use this as an excuse, right? He ran his hand through Lu Guang’s very human-feeling hair, then briefly touched his scaly cheek—made sure to feel both sides of his skin, both the discoloured and non-discoloured parts, but they felt the same. Lu Guang immediately raised up when he put a hand on his ear. Like he might pet a cat, Xiaoshi scratched behind his ear and watched Lu Guang still even more.

“What, you don’t like that?” he lowered his hand again as Lu Guang sat back and brought his own hand to his ear. Then he turned immensely red. “...what’s wrong?”

“♬.” Lu Guang fell back down and now Xiaoshi felt his whole tail wrapping around him. He wasn’t about to take him into the water, right?

But Lu Guang stayed right there. He squeezed Xiaoshi tighter. “...I don’t understand you sometimes.” he sighed as he turned his head but realised he wouldn’t be escaping his grip anytime soon. Lu Guang’s hand raised up and started slowly touching Xiaoshi’s ear, too, which confused him. Does he want me to continue? This suddenly felt strangely intimate to him…

Xiaoshi’s hand started petting Lu Guang’s hair again, but he was quickly moved to his ear. Maybe it felt good, just like it did for animals. It was kinda cute to imagine that Lu Guang liked scratches behind the ear. Which was weird, honestly, cause seacreatures didn’t typically have ears like that. He’d never observed something like this before.

Lu Guang seemed to be getting…restless. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. Xiaoshi grabbed his hand which was still tracing circles in his ear and sat him upright. “Hey, what’s wrong?” but when he saw his face, he might’ve had an idea.

Lu Guang was panting, face hot, entirely flushed and salivating. Oh…

Without wasting another second, Lu Guang pushed Xiaoshi back down and positioned himself between Xiaoshi’s spread legs so Xiaoshi’s pelvis was touching his…the uppermost part of his tail (He didn’t have genitals, right? Right??). Lu Guang leaned back down and hovered his face just above his. The ears are an erogenous zone—oh god.

“S—Sorry, I didn’t—” and there came the air hunger. “Ah, Lu Guang—get off me, I need—uhm…” it was getting slightly hard for him to think both with a lack of oxygen in his brain and the only thought penetrating his mind being the idea that he’d just severely aroused Lu Guang. 

He jumped when Lu Guang’s face got closer to his own, and quickly pulled out of his embrace, falling into the water. “♪!” he heard as he resurfaced. He could stand here, as it was shallow, and he quickly stepped back to shore and grabbed his inhaler. Lu Guang stayed on the dock for another second or two before dropping into the water as well. He raised his head halfway out of the water, hand gripping his ear where he’d been touched tightly. “♩♩♩.” he called as Xiaoshi was still trying to calm down. 

“I—I’m really sorry. I promise I wasn’t trying to…uh…touch you in that way.” he nervously told him, and watched Lu Guang sink down into the water again. D—Does he want to say something? Anxiously, Xiaoshi crawled back to the dock and put his ear in the water.

“You’re not gonna finish it?”

Uhm. “I, uh—I’m…” he splashed some water on his face to try and cool down before meekly responding, “Is it okay if I don’t…? I really didn’t know, so…”

Lu Guang made a soft distressed sound, before Xiaoshi saw his tail splashing the water and watched him slowly disappear.

“Lu Guang!” he shouted, dipped his head underwater, but only saw him swimming away from him. He pulled up and sadly stared at the empty waters, then sat back. Quickly, he took another deep breath with his inhaler. 

There’s…actually no way that just happened.

It did. And now he hadn’t seen Lu Guang in a week. He briefly considered throwing himself into the water again just to attract him, but figured he wouldn’t take kindly to that.

But he’d been having dreams about what had happened. Dreams which…made him ashamed of himself, to say the least. He hadn’t viewed Lu Guang in that way before, but now, night by night, he imagined what it’d feel like to touch Lu Guang again—what it’d feel like if Lu Guang touched him. The worst of his dreams included moments where Lu Guang didn’t have arms, but rather tentacles which he wrapped around Xiaoshi tightly, suctioning his skin, stroking him—

—at which point, he would wake up with morning wood. This was pissing him off.

He still visited the beach every other day, working on his fresco bit by bit, but Lu Guang hadn’t come by to watch. Maybe he had to do something to make it right by him.

Xiaoshi didn’t have money, but the secondhandshops in the area always sold jewelry for a cheap enough price. It probably didn’t matter if it was to Lu Guang’s taste or not, because judging by his cave, he seemed to hoard anything remotely shiny. Xiaoshi tried tossing a couple goldplated necklaces into the water by the beach, but the waves stayed quiet.

He wondered if it was similar to how birds got. If you touch them in the wrong place they grow irritable and die. Surely Lu Guang hadn’t died.

…right? He hadn’t, right?

Xiaoshi found the run-down boats that Lu Guang had collected after walking ten minutes farther along the shore. He’d find him at home and apologise. And…uh, if Lu Guang required something else from him, then…well, his dreams had prepared him, in any case.

It was noon, and he wondered if Lu Guang would even be home right now, or if he’d be out. He located the boat he’d been pushed on before, and immediately assessed as well that it was the only boat among the lineup that seemed prepared to set sail at all. One problem: It’s a rowing boat. And he didn’t have any paddles.

Looking amongst the wreckage of the boats, Xiaoshi located one half-broken paddle that still seemed somewhat usable, and then decidedly tore a plank off one of the other boats to use as a second paddle.

He made sure his inhaler was in his pocket as he took in a deep breath and sat down in the boat. This was…really scary without Lu Guang dragging the boat for him, without the assurance that he’d be safe even if he fell overboard, without the security knowing he’d not tip over to begin with…

His inhaler met his lips not very long after sitting down. Can he please not start hyperventilating right now? 

Putting it down, he grabbed hold of his makeshift paddles and pushed the boat to sea. You’ve done this before, Xiaoshi, he reminded himself as he pushed his hands forwards, the paddles propelling the boat ahead. He pulled his hands back slowly, then pushed ahead again strongly. 

If he recalled, the cave would be maybe twenty to thirty minutes away if he were paddling at full speed, so he tried to prepare himself mentally for being out at sea for probably forty minutes. He really hadn’t done this in so long…

He bided the time by softly mumbling lyrics to himself from the songs he used to listen to while manning a boat. On the bright side, this time, there was no engine to malfunction, and there wasn’t a dark cloud in the sky. He thought he might just have a panic attack if a single droplet of rain hit his skin right now. 

The forty-minute number stretched out to nearly fifty minutes as he kept having to reach back for his inhaler and just breathe for a good few minutes.

He reached a large rock surface, and he knew Lu Guang’s place was just below him, so…

Before recklessly jumping in, he tossed another shiny bracelet down to see if anyone would swim out. Then he waited. Five, ten minutes…he really couldn’t tell anymore, as each time he glanced over to his right wrist to check the time, three golden armbands stared back at him instead. They weren’t exactly effective.

Okay, onto recklessly jumping in, then. He took a deep breath before…not jumping off the boat. He took a couple inhales, nodded his head a few times, then held his breath again before…still not jumping off the boat. Damnit. Ugh. 

He stripped his clothes off, cause he should probably try not to sink to the bottom, though he realised he didn’t bring any swimming trunks. That was fine, he’d manage in his underwear. It wasn’t freezing out here, he was fine…

Inhaler, deep breath—right, put the inhaler in a ziploc bag first so it doesn’t get wet, okay, okay. Inhaler, bag, deep breath, and—

Plop. He fell under. He can do this. He’s fine. He swam down to the entrance of the cave, but possibly misjudged just how far the airbubble at the end was. Don’t drown don’t drown don’t drown don’t—no, he was fine. He booked it ahead, his limbs feeling slightly weak as he went on, his adrenaline propelling him forwards regardless.

Something grabbed his ankle. He fearfully turned around, but accidentally opened his mouth in his surprise. Fuck—he tried to shake loose, but that something pulled him back from the airbubble, as far as possible, and then dragged him back out of the cave. 

He wheezed when he was tossed back into his boat and his hands fumbled for the bag at the same time that he spat out the water he’d swallowed. Deep breaths, he told himself as he slowly breathed through the device, allowing his lungs air again. That’d gone wrong. That’d gone really, really wrong.

He felt something else enter the boat.

When he managed to open his eyes, he saw her. Another Lu Guang, it looked like? But—okay, she was definitely female. He wasn’t surprised, considering Lu Guang also didn’t wear any clothing—and that made sense considering his living conditions—but he wasn’t exactly expecting to get a full view of her bare chest immediately. This—she couldn’t be Lu Guang’s sister, could she? She had bright-pink hair and looked entirely different from him. He figured all sirens would be blue, same as Lu Guang, but she had a purplish tint to her scales.

“Uh, hey—I’m a friend of Lu Guang’s…I came to see him, I’m really sorry for intrudi—” he heard her cry.

She put a hand on his head as she sang a soft melody, and he could feel his eyes rolling into the back of his head and his eyelids falling shut. It was like his mind stopped functioning at once. Her voice was so pretty…

He thought he felt a tongue on his right hand, but the singing continued, keeping his mind lulled. He mumbled as he felt teeth graze him, and didn’t flinch when those teeth gently entered his skin. He was so tired…

“♫♫♫!!” another song sounded, this one stopping the first one abruptly. What was wrong? Why couldn’t she continue singing? Xiaoshi felt his eyes open again as he stared blurrily ahead, only now realising he had tears in his eyes. His hand kinda stung…

He watched a white-haired figure tackle whoever the woman in the boat with him was, then saw them both fall into the water. He heard shouting below him, and the stinging in his hand grew stronger.

Weakly, he used his left hand to bring his inhaler back to his mouth to get himself to keep breathing, cause it was getting somewhat difficult. His vision was fading, like he was going to pass out…

The last thing he recalled seeing was Lu Guang’s face in front of his, mouth wide open, singing at him, signaling for him to say something. But his eyes fell shut.

There was an obnoxious alarm playing that was slowly getting louder and louder as Xiaoshi regained consciousness. The first thing he noticed was that he had an oxygen mask over his head, the second thing was that there was a woman stood over him, monitoring him. She looked like a paramedic?

Oh god, he was in an ambulance? He threw his head back and frantically looked around. What had even happened? That was the scariest part, he couldn’t even pinpoint any injury.

“Are you awake? Can you feel pain?” she leaned down and asked him.

Feel what? he looked down at himself, and it was almost comical. His whole body was normal, regular, and then his right hand was tightly wrapped in maybe fifty layers of bandage.

“...I don’t feel it.” he replied, staring down at his hand and slowly starting to tear up. “What happened…?”

She smiled at him. “It’s okay, we’re bringing you in for an emergency surgery. You’ll be okay.”

Emergency surgery??? What the fuck happened…?! He started fully crying now, as he felt just as helpless as a year ago, when he’d woken up in the hospital after blacking out with no idea of the extent of his injuries.

“Is it broken? Is it gone?” he stared at the bandages. “Where am I going? What’s the surgery for??” he was so terrified.

“Sir.” she got closer to him and sat down, then put a hand on his shoulder. “Come, breathe in…one, two, three, four, five” she demonstrated, “Hold…one, two, three, four, and out…one, two, three, four, five, six.” she encouraged him. “And in,” 

He took a breath in, and midway through started heavily coughing. But the minute his hand tried to shoot up to cover his mouth, he shouted in pain.

The hand on his shoulder pressed down, and he stared back at the woman. “Don’t move it. It’s okay. In, one, two, three, four, five…”

Five seconds in, he breathed, held for four, six seconds out, he exhaled. She gave him a small ‘good’ as he then continued the exercise until his breathing became regular again. What he also noticed was that he was being fed more oxygen through the mask, which definitely helped. 

He smiled at the paramedic after a bit, cause he appreciated her helping him. “H—uh, have you contacted my sister? She’s my emergency contact, it’s in my phone…”

“You didn’t have a phone on you.” the woman informed him, and he nodded. Right, he’d left it at home. Idiot.

“...I can tell you the number, can you call her?”

She pulled out a small notepad. “Please, go ahead. We’ll give her a call once we make it to the hospital.” she assured him, and he nodded.

“Thank you…” he still felt a tear fall down his cheek as he recited her number off the top of his head, and just for good measure, the landline at her family’s house. “Will you tell me what’s wrong as well once we’re in the hospital?” he asked afterwards, and she softly laughed.

“Sorry, I just wanted to be sure you weren’t panicking. Your breathing was very unstable.”

“I have a lung injury.”

She nodded. “You were probably bitten by something.” she recited. “We couldn’t tell what, but you probably know. The bandages are to keep it all together, cause your hand was…uhm…” she made a motion with her own hand that looked like she was taking a glove off, or in this case, she was miming taking half of her hand off. Xiaoshi grimaced at the thought as he continued to stare down at his own hand.

“Everything is still there, so we’ll get you surgery to attach your hand back together as quick as possible, okay? It doesn’t seem like you can move it for now, and please don’t try to. You can ask the doctors about recovery.” she still smiled despite what she was telling him right now, and he just continued crying.

“Okay. Thank you.” he shut his eyes again and took a deep breath, then felt one last touch against his shoulder.

“You’re in good hands, promise. We’ll give you full attention and priority.”

That’s really not something you want to hear going into the ER for emergency surgery. He didn’t want to be the most urgent of cases, he didn’t want to have even more injuries due to his own stupidity. How was he going to explain to the doctors that it was most likely a mermaid, a siren that bit him? Forget a swift recovery in the hospital, he can hope for a swift recovery at the mental institution.

He took in another deep breath as he continued crying.

After a lengthy chat with the doctors, he was promptly knocked out and had a surgery done. When he came to a few hours later, the bandage was still around his hand, but he could feel pain again.

And holy shit did it hurt. Though he supposed that at least meant his nerves were functioning as intended. He could just imagine Qiao Ling yelling at him again once she got here, exclaiming how he could’ve died, how he can’t keep terrifying her in this way.

He wasn’t surprised when a nurse came in to inform him he had a visitor only a halfhour after waking up from surgery.

“...jie.” he called as she stood at the foot of his bed. She already had tears in her eyes. “Don’t say it.”

She silently walked around the bed and pulled up a stool to sit by him. Then she fell into her arms on top of him and started sobbing. Loudly bawling over him. And Xiaoshi didn’t know what to do. He wished she would just scold him instead of this, tell him it’s all his fault and how stupid he is instead of just breaking down from worry. What’s he even supposed to say to this?

He carefully brought his left hand over to her hair and slowly ran his fingers through the strands. She sniffed a few times but otherwise didn’t move.

“...I won’t go to see him anymore.” Xiaoshi told. Then, “I won’t even go to the water. We’ll move out in a month, like you said, right?”

She paused crying for a second before raising her head to look him in the eyes. “...Xiaoshi…” she let out in a whisper before throwing her arms around him, squeezing him hard enough that he was thankful he was still wearing an oxygen mask. His left hand landed on her back, too, but his eyes didn’t water.

It was one night in the hospital before he was discharged, free to go home on the exception that he didn’t use his right hand at all and it stayed wrapped up for the next month to come. Qiao Ling was instructed how to apply the wrappings for him and given a fresh roll of bandage.

He got into her car with a sigh. He leaned on his left hand the entire way back home, staring out the window, grimacing when he caught a glance of the glistening water. “What kind of place are we getting?”

She scoffed. “Don’t expect anything fancy, yeah? I don’t make that much. I’ll try to find a nice two-bedroom apartment. We can visit my parents anytime, too. You’re still owner of your shop, of course.”

“Course.” he blinked.

“Are you in pain?” she leaned forwards to check to her left before making a turn.

“Yeah.” Xiaoshi simply replied. His hand felt like it was burning, and at the same time he felt so numb. “I can’t take photos like this, can I? Can’t even write anymore…”

“...you can type things, it’s fine. They said you might regain dexterity in your hand, right? Worst-case, you become a leftie.”

“You’re right, that is the worst-case.” he deadpanned, and she let out a chuckle. “I told you what happened, right?”

“You said you won’t see Lu Guang anymore. He attacked you, didn’t he?” she asked, but he quickly shook his head. 

“I don’t know, it’s really blurry. He wasn’t there when I was attacked, though. I think he was the one who stopped it from getting any worse, actually. He pushed the girl off me.” he told her, and she frowned.

“A girl did this to you?”

“Or a woman. She looked just like Lu Guang, she had a pretty voice and all.”

“Another siren. So not a girl.”

“She was definitely female.”

Qiao Ling sighed. “Good, then. Don’t go back to Lu Guang. I don’t know what even possessed you to hang around such a dangerous crowd.”

And Xiaoshi didn’t really have a good reason. “...he wanted to learn photography, and he was interested in my art.”

Qiao Ling turned over to him once they’d reached a stoplight, and she solemnly glanced down. “...hey, once we get to Nanqing, why don’t you try applying to an artschool? You’ll get to meet other people like you there, who’re also interested in photography and art.”

But the thought of that just made Xiaoshi tear up as he stared down at his bandaged right hand. He started crying again, not moving at all to wipe his tears. “I can’t draw.” he said, and leaned forwards until his head hit the dashboard as he kept weeping.

Another deep breath from beside him, a soft touch to his shoulder, and then the car started moving again. “We’ll be okay, Xiaoshi.” he was assured, but it was unconvincing.

A couple days of trying to work in the shop and a couple chats with his doctor told him that his right hand was almost completely useless now, and that one of the more realistic outcomes for him was permanent paralysis.

Qiao Ling stayed over in the shop to help him out, sleeping in the bunkbed above him. He was irritated by how easily she slipped into that role of caretaker for him, how she sometimes felt like his mom. She was barely a year older than him.

But Xiaoshi didn’t complain when she helped him with the cooking, a task now ten times harder to accomplish by hisself, or when she took his bandages off and replaced them with clean ones.

Seeing his own hand made him tear up again, cause it seemed like the doctors had to put a lot back together. He really couldn’t think of anything but <Frankenstein> when he saw how it was swollen and stitched together. He hadn’t exactly bought what the doctors had told him, that he might never regain dexterity, cause it seemed farfetched, but seeing this really did make him feel useless. He’d be surprised if he could ever move this again at all.

Qiao Ling touched his back softly after the new bandage was on. Xiaoshi felt a kiss pressed to his forehead, after which he quickly jumped into her arms and embraced her.

She handed him his inhaler when he started gasping shallowly as he cried, and he held it tightly by his face to breathe. 

He wasn’t trying to visit Lu Guang, he just wanted to transport his fresco back to his shop before they moved, both cause he didn’t want to litter and leave his art supplies out, and because he genuinely liked the work he’d done until now.

But, when he arrived with Qiao Ling at the shore, a familiar figure was waiting for him by the docks.

He opened his mouth to sing something, but stayed silent when he saw Qiao Ling. He closed his mouth again. Qiao Ling just stared at him uncomfortably.

“Let’s just get it and leave…” she commented, picking up his pigments and gathering them into a bag as they each stood on one side of the wooden backing and picked it up, Qiao Ling with both hands and Xiaoshi with his left.

Xiaoshi felt a wet ball of sand being thrown at him, though, and he turned back to Lu Guang, who was rolling up a second one. They put the fresco down for a second as Xiaoshi turned over. 

Lu Guang briefly waved at him, before holding his hand out in a signal that looked like it meant ‘stop’ or ‘wait’. And he bolted away into the water.

“Come on, let’s go…!” Qiao Ling told him as she picked the whole thing back up on her own and dropped it onto the cart they’d brought with them.

“Ah…” Xiaoshi looked between the empty sea and Qiao Ling’s urgency. “...he said to wait.”

“So he can bite off your other hand? Come on, Xiaoshi.” she hit his shoulder, and he briefly fell in her direction, before decidedly dropping down to a sitting position to wait. “Xiaoshi.”

“He can’t reach me here. He’s at a snail’s pace if he goes on land. Wait with me.”

She scoffed as she looked around her impatiëntly, then dropped down on the sand beside him, irritably leaning forwards into her arms as she waited as well. Five minutes passed in silence, and Xiaoshi saw a tail splash in the distance. Another minute or so, and Lu Guang washed up to shore dragging someone behind him…

That was the girl who bit him. Instinctively, Xiaoshi stood up, just so he’d be ready to run.

He stared on as Lu Guang forced her onto land, forced her in front of Xiaoshi. She didn’t make a sound as she moved her tail into what looked nearly like a human kneeling position. 

Her hands rested on the floor, and then her head rested on her hands. She was groveling, begging for forgiveness.

“...Lu Guang?” Xiaoshi hesitantly called, and when Lu Guang’s hand touched the woman’s back, she quickly got up and swam away. Lu Guang’s hand hit the dock, and he went to lay underneath it as always.

Okay. Xiaoshi felt slightly safe to walk to the dock now despite Qiao Ling’s hesitations and hang his head into the water.

“She’s sorry.” was what Lu Guang said. “She’s scared of people, just like me, and she probably thought she was under attack. She must’ve seen you wearing my bracelets… That’s why she tried to kill you.”

…she tried to kill him, not just destroy his hand. Okay.

“She doesn’t fully understand herself yet. Since she’s female and you’re male, her voice had that effect on you, where you couldn’t move. I told her not to use it anymore, but she’s still learning.”

Xiaoshi sat up, wiping his ear off from the saltwater. “I’m moving away, Lu Guang.” he got up and walked back to the work he’d done on the fresco so far, then dragged it along the sand again and towards the water. “It’s not finished, but I hope you still like it. I can’t work on it anymore now.” he saw Lu Guang was looking at his bandaged hand before his gaze shifted to the piece before him.

He looked over it for just a second before turning to Xiaoshi and suddenly jumping on him, pushing him to the ground. “Cheng Xiaoshi!” Qiao Ling hurriedly sprinted over to try and separate them, but stopped when she actually saw what Lu Guang was doing. He had his arms wrapped around Xiaoshi’s middle and was softly crying into his chest. “...get off him, please.” Qiao Ling opted for instead of violently interfering.

Lu Guang looked up at her and then slowly let Xiaoshi go. Cheng Xiaoshi took a quick breath of air from his device before crawling backwards, watching Lu Guang continue to cry but still refuse to sing anything.

Qiao Ling and Xiaoshi returned to the cart with the rest of his stuff, and Xiaoshi still turned back just in time to see Lu Guang pulling his work into the water and disappearing. 

When Qiao Ling touched his shoulder again to get him to pay attention, he nodded at her and started walking back.

He genuinely wondered if sirens could control dreams with how he was thinking about him again. Maybe it was just the hug, but his subconscious had started conjuring up those same lewd dreams of the two of them that he’d had before his hospital stay. Though, having said that, they always seemed to end with Xiaoshi becoming injured now. 

In his dream, Lu Guang kissed him, he forced his long, tentacle-like tongue into his mouth. He trailed their saliva along Xiaoshi’s chest, along his nipples, along his collarbones. He nibbed at Xiaoshi’s neck, grazing him with his sharp teeth in just the way Xiaoshi liked. Just as Xiaoshi’s heart was about to explode, he’d softly bite down on his shoulder, filling Xiaoshi’s mind with delicious pain.

And when the pain would get a little too delicious, he’d try to push Lu Guang off him to tell him that was enough, to no avail. It was fine, cause he could still tolerate this level of pain, so long as Lu Guang let go soon.

But he wouldn’t let go. He bit down harder, going past the point of drawing blood, biting through several layers of his skin. Xiaoshi put his hand on Lu Guang’s shoulder, trying to push him off, but not using too much strength for fear of Lu Guang biting his skin clean off if he forced him. 

He didn’t need to hold back, cause it was pointless anyways. Lu Guang completed the bite, teeth grazing Xiaoshi’s muscles underneath his skin as he could only feel himself getting lightheaded, brain not processing the immense, torturous pain yet. Instead he wheezed, trying but failing for breath. And as Lu Guang saw him struggling, his eyes widened, his mouth formed into a smile, and he latched himself onto Xiaoshi’s arm for another bite.

Xiaoshi woke up in a panic, his left hand instinctively moving to grab his shoulder where he hadn’t actually been bitten, his right hand stinging from the pain. Qiao Ling had tried to comfort him the past few nights this had happened, but he really couldn’t tell her this was what he was dreaming about. He just accepted her soft touches to his back and her holding the inhaler for him.

When he looked through his phone, stared at pictures he’d taken of Lu Guang, he almost wanted to delete them for the sake of convincing himself to stay away, but his eye caught on some photos.

The pictures Lu Guang had been taking throughout his day. He’d figured out how to send photos straight from the camera to Xiaoshi’s phone, and had sent a ton for him to print out like he said he would. What Xiaoshi hadn’t noticed until now was that Lu Guang was still sending him pictures.

He saw pictures of Lu Guang’s sister, looking a whole lot more innocent than the image of her Xiaoshi had in his mind. The next pictures seemed to be taken in dark lighting with a flash, where Lu Guang was jumpscaring fish with bright lights out of nowhere. Xiaoshi softly laughed to himself as he saw a frightened expression on a blurrily-photographed fish who was being flashed in the face.

More pictures included Lu Guang still holding sea creatures, though his photographs of them looked more peaceful now rather than the forceful grabbing his earlier pictures had exhibited.

He never got to print these for him…

Unsure of what was possessing him, he strolled downstairs and turned the printer on, then sent his pictures to the machine. He selected a smallish format on his higher-quality paper, hoping this could withstand a little bit of water.

Regardless of what they could withstand, he placed them into a folder once printed, then trapped that folder inside a plastic bag. “I’m going to deliver an order.” he told Qiao Ling, who didn’t think too much of it. 

He started the thirty-minute walk to the coast, where he already heard singing on arrival. Was Lu Guang out here every day waiting for him?

He stared straight into Lu Guang’s eyes when he made it out of the forest.

“♪♪♪!” Lu Guang excitedly called when he saw him, started splashing his tail in the water, and Xiaoshi slowly walked forwards.

Like a peace offering, he placed the folder onto the sand before Lu Guang, then stepped back. He watched Lu Guang force himself onto land, spilling sand into the plastic bag as he manoeuvred it open and pulled the folder from it. He heard a loud melody when he saw the pictures for the first time. He looked through them all, before hopefully staring up at Xiaoshi.

“...you sent me them, so I figured you still wanted these printed.” he simply excused when Lu Guang’s blue lips morphed into a smile.

“♫♭!” he retreated and splashed the water, begging Xiaoshi to come in with him. Xiaoshi hesitantly stepped onto the wooden dock he’d built, the back of his mind thinking how impossible that would be for him to do now with his injury.

He laid down on his back.

“Please don’t leave.” Lu Guang immediately begged, and Xiaoshi shut his eyes tightly. “I’m sorry for what happened—”

“My right hand is ruined for the rest of my life.” he cut him off, continuing, “I have an incurable lung injury. Every time I try to swim, I nearly drown…” he was so tired as he pronounced each syllable. “I wish I could be healthy again and spend actual time with you underwater instead of just living vicariously through your photographs, but that’s not realistic.” he choked on his breath a little, but maintained steady breathing overall. “Lu Guang, I wish you the best, really…sorry that I can’t see you anymore.”

“My sisters’ parents were killed by humans.” Lu Guang spilled, his voice panicked and supposedly not knowing what else to say. “They were arguing, th—they were killing each other, and it attracted attention from people on land. They were poached. She’s—uh, she’s dysfunctional, so her brain doesn’t work properly like the rest of ours. Her real brother wouldn’t take care of her, and I found her after she ran away from him. She doesn’t speak, and she struggles to think things through and understand the implications of the things she does.”

“She’s disabled.” Xiaoshi corrected him, and Lu Guang made a nervous sound.

“Is that it? Okay…” he anxiously replied, then knocked on the dock a couple times. It sounded like he were growing more and more nervous. “Uh…her parents kept her hidden from everyone else, but after they were gone, the rest of the community found out about her. That’s why I took her in, cause I was the only one who didn’t view her as an outsider. That’s why we live in isolation, too. The others in our community would’ve killed her otherwise. I couldn’t let that happen.” he could hear him sniffling again, sounding like he was starting to cry, and turned over to peer beneath the water. “She’s scared of the aboveground, and she’s scared of other people. Most days she’s scared of leaving home, she’s terrified of unexpected things happening to her…she’s really sorry for what she did, and I’m really sorry on her behalf, so—”

“It’s okay, Lu Guang.” he shut his eyes. “I’m sorry about your sister. That sounds hard, being constantly afraid. I get that.”

Lu Guang grabbed Xiaoshi’s left hand off the dock and took it in his own. “I’ve never had friends before, cause I’ve been taking care of her alone for most of my life. I didn’t know there were people out there who lived above the surface who would want to be friends with me…I don’t want to lose that.”

“Again, I’m sorry.” Xiaoshi reïterated. “But you should understand, right? I have a sister, too. She’s been taking care of me, and this is what she thinks is best for me. I’m probably not so easy to take care of either, so it’s a good idea for me not to make her job any harder.”

Xiaoshi had to make space as Lu Guang next swam up and found a place on the dock beside him. Now they were laid parallel to each other. 

Lu Guang touched his right arm, carefully bringing his hand up by holding his forearm. Xiaoshi winced slightly when Lu Guang pressed a kiss to his palm, but mostly stayed still. Lu Guang turned his head into the water. “Can you come visit up until you leave?”

That was…hard to decline when he asked him in this way. “I’ll try, but I don’t think Qiao Ling will be happy with it.”

“Tell her you’re working on the piece.” Lu Guang said, and Xiaoshi uncomfortably frowned again.

“I can’t work on anything, Lu Guang…” he stared at the numb hand Lu Guang was still holding. But Lu Guang grabbed his other hand as well, kissed his left hand’s palm.

“I want something to remember you by while you’re gone.” he said as Xiaoshi held his hand back. If he painted the rest of his fresco with his left hand, he’d be lucky to get any results that didn’t look like a child’s messy scribbles. Even so, considering his right hand might be permanently limp, he thought it might be a useful skill to learn to use his left one…

He gave a sad smile as he stared into Lu Guang’s eyes. “I’ll try.”

Lu Guang’s joyous response was immediate. He quickly turned Xiaoshi onto his back again, then came to lay on top of him. His head landed in the crook of Xiaoshi’s neck, his arms ended up around him. Xiaoshi brought his left hand to Lu Guang’s back.

So he visited the next day to try working again. Lu Guang helped him open tubes, helped motivate him with his words. Granted Lu Guang wasn’t exactly great with his dexterity when performing precise tasks like these either, Xiaoshi found when he tried letting Lu Guang paint a section and immediately had to stop him from continuing. 

“Just…leave it to me.” he told him, to which Lu Guang thankfully agreed. He supposed Lu Guang also didn’t enjoy doing something he wasn’t used to nor good at.

Progress got done, though it was slow. Lu Guang spent the evening after Xiaoshi finished work laying on top of Xiaoshi, which he imagined was a way Lu Guang liked to show affection.

Carefully, he trailed his hand through Lu Guang’s hair, cautious not to touch him in any weird places as he massaged his scalp.

Lu Guang made a contented sound, and weirdly something in him switched. He moved his hand up, until it reached Lu Guang’s cheek. He lifted his face slightly above him, and then softly brushed their lips together, feeling Lu Guang slowly sinking down onto him and reciprocating. A hand came to his cheek as well.

Lu Guang backed away for a second, stared him in the eyes, before Xiaoshi quickly raised his head, closed the gap again and kept kissing him. He tasted like saltwater and fish.

“How does it work?” Xiaoshi next asked, staring down at Lu Guang’s body. “With your…anatomy, where else are you sensitive?”

Lu Guang flushed red, and Xiaoshi could once more feel his long tail wrapping around his body. He was sat upright. When Lu Guang opened his mouth and spoke, his song now lulled him into a dreamlike state. The only thing he could really tell right now was that he was sat on top of Lu Guang’s tail, straddling him, their faces incredibly close. He could only focus on Lu Guang. 

He was still half-man, right? Xiaoshi brought his left hand to Lu Guang’s chest and flicked his thumb over his nipple. He let a smile cross his face when Lu Guang’s breath hitched, and he kissed his neck. His skin really was scaly, he thought as he tried sucking down but quickly ran out of air. He coughed a few times, before his breathing evened out again. Right.

“Sorry, I’m probably not the best person to do this with, actually…” he looked away shyly. “I’ll need to use my inhaler every few minutes.”

Lu Guang let him go, then scurried to the bag Xiaoshi had dropped. He found the device and pulled it out, handed it to Xiaoshi, watched him take a breath.

“...you don’t mind?” Xiaoshi saw how he leaned back over him, how Lu Guang kissed Xiaoshi’s neck in return. He let out a short breath as he leaned closer into Lu Guang’s touch.

He shivered as Lu Guang’s tongue ran along his neck, and then he tried tugging the fabric of Xiaoshi’s clothes aside.

“W—wait, let me…” he took off his own sweatshirt, cause he didn’t exactly trust Lu Guang to know how to get it off without ripping it. He tossed it away as Lu Guang laid him back down on the dock, and the hard wood touched his bare back. “C—can we move to the sand…?” he requested. 

Lu Guang jumped off of him, falling into the water. Xiaoshi took the signal and shakily stood up. He one-handedly unbuckled his pants, kicked them off, then laid down on the sand instead, lower half submerged entirely underwater.

He felt a hand on his chest and sighed out as Lu Guang licked a stripe from his abdomen until his nipple. He swirled his tongue around the bud, making Xiaoshi’s face heat in both excitement and disappointment that he didn’t exactly live up to his dream’s version of Lu Guang. Although, maybe that was for the better.

He sighed as Lu Guang’s tail wrapped around him again, securing him in his position. Lu Guang was kissing lower and lower, his mouth eventually reaching Xiaoshi’s underwear, which he didn’t waste a second in pulling down. Xiaoshi spread his legs wider as he watched his underwear drift off, allowing Lu Guang to kiss his pelvis, his pubes, his tip… Xiaoshi sucked in a breath, and that told Lu Guang all he needed to know about just where Xiaoshi was sensitive. 

He didn’t know what he expected when Lu Guang’s lips wrapped around his cock, but it sent a jolt of excitement through his spine. He could see the vague image of Lu Guang under the water, and hesitantly tangled his hand in the white locks. Oh, right…he let his hand travel a bit farther down and grabbed hold of Lu Guang’s ear, softly stroking the skin beneath his fingers.

Lu Guang pulled up quickly out of the water, fixed Xiaoshi with a dazed stare. Xiaoshi leaned forwards and kissed him, then urged his head back down, down…

As Xiaoshi continued to run his hand through Lu Guang’s hair, continued to rub his thumb over the ridges of his ear, Lu Guang started more fervently bobbing his head up and down, sending a pleasure unknown to Xiaoshi through his entire body. He felt his tongue glide along his length and couldn’t stop thinking about how good he felt…

He quietly moaned out, gasped softly, then brought his inhaler back to his mouth to breathe. This would be difficult, wouldn’t it? He couldn’t see himself being able to breathe for long at all with this constant pleasure assaulting him—oh, why did Lu Guang’s mouth feel so good…?

He pulled Lu Guang’s ear, forcing his head down, forcing a whine out of Lu Guang’s mouth. He pulled up out of the water and coughed, but Xiaoshi recognised the look on his face as needy. In his dreams, Lu Guang had seemed passive during these acts in the same way he was during anything else, but Xiaoshi was delighted to find they were both equally desperate.

Still holding his face and wanting more expressions out of Lu Guang, he pushed his thumb into his mouth, pressed it down on his tongue. Lu Guang was heaving, clearly riled up, and Xiaoshi needed to see how far this could go.

“...so?” he smiled as he directed the question at him a second time, “How does it work?”

Lu Guang thrusted his head up and down, sucking Xiaoshi dry as he panted and panted against the sand, inhaler clutched in his hand tightly for when he needed it.

Lu Guang had said something to him about him still being male, meaning Xiaoshi would have to ‘play the woman’ (or, ‘get fucked’, in modern terms). He easily agreed to that. All he cared was that Lu Guang was touching him and touching him and wouldn’t stop touching him.

The hand that wasn’t clutching his thigh hard enough to leave marks was currently plunging itself in and out of Xiaoshi’s ass, sending him into a definitive state of overstimulation. Lu Guang’s mouth, tongue, they just kept working him, and it was already so much.

“Ah—” his breath caught in his throat as he forced out a, “Lu Guang—!” His head fell to the sand, digging into it. He bucked his hips up into the pure pleasure, enjoying the rush of sensations that came over him. All things considered, Xiaoshi had honestly imagined he’d never be able to have sex again. But here he was, and doing it with someone like Lu Guang, too. Another loud moan was pulled from his lips as Lu Guang didn’t falter. He felt a third, slimy finger pry him open.

Another few breaths through his inhaler, cause his heart was beating entirely too fast for his own good, and he quickly put it down again to tangle his fist in Lu Guang’s hair and push him down strongly onto him as he came. He could feel Lu Guang make a muffled sound in response, but was unable to make out what he’d said from underwater. His body was in heavenly bliss right now, trying to calm down. His grip on Lu Guang’s head slowly loosened, and he was able to pull off and cough a few times. Xiaoshi almost thought about apologising, but his mind was filled with stars right now. As he continued breathing a bit too heavily, he grabbed his inhaler back to help.

Lu Guang’s head peeked up, stared at him for a minute as he calmed down. Lu Guang’s hand pulled out of his ass. Xiaoshi took in another breath as Lu Guang came to lie on top of him and once more pressed his pelvis to Xiaoshi’s from between his spread legs.

Although, this time, Xiaoshi swore he could feel something bulging against him. Curious, he sat up and reached down for Lu Guang’s pelvis, at which he groaned. Xiaoshi grabbed his hip, urged him out of the water, and then ran his hand along the bulge. There was a slit in his skin here…

When he pushed the slit open, something immediately popped out at him. Two somethings. It took him a minute of trying to even process.

Lu Guang had two, thick, hard, tentacle-looking cocks. Long—he forgot to say long. Entirely flushed, he turned his head away in embarrassment. They’re huge. He’s huge. Two?? Are they meant to be taken two at a time??

Oh, this was dangerous. The mental image Xiaoshi’s brain was conjuring up of just what they could do together was too tempting. It’s not a want, it’s a need. He reached down and touched just the tip of one. 

“♩♩♩.” Lu Guang reached down and touched himself, stroking a hand up and down one of his cocks.

“W—” he almost didn’t want to ask. “What’s the second one for…?” he managed to get out in the smallest voice he could muster, eyes clamped shut. He’d genuinely never been this nervous and flustered at once. Take me, his mind begged. 

He could only barely hear as Lu Guang retreated into the water to say, “It makes impregnating easier.” 

Xiaoshi was going to die. 

But first he felt Lu Guang’s lips on his again. He leaned into him and moaned into the kiss, licking at the inside of Lu Guang’s mouth, tasting the sweet flavour of the ocean on his tongue.

He took a deep breath with his inhaler after pulling away, body still overwhelmed, mind even more so. But he felt Lu Guang prodding at his rim. This is happening. Oh my god, this is happening…!!

“S—Start with one.” he anxiously let out just before Lu Guang could actually press in, cause although he was losing rationale by the second, he was competent enough to not immediately give in. Lu Guang responded with a peck on his cheek before pressing the tip in, Xiaoshi squeezing his eyes shut at how easily it went in, at how slimy Lu Guang’s cock naturally was. And—oh, god, they weren’t using protection, of course… He wondered to himself just how hygienic any of this was.

Lu Guang had no reservations as he shoved himself deeper and deeper into Cheng Xiaoshi until he swore he could genuinely feel this thing piercing into his digestive tract. He only stopped thrusting in once their hips met and he physically couldn’t go any further. When he managed to wring his head down and stare at himself, he got a pretty good idea of just how deep inside him Lu Guang was judging by the second, equally-sized cock which now rested on top of his stomach. This thing went up halfway through his torso, there’s no way… He reached his left hand down and stroked the length, wondering just how it would be to feel pleasure in two penises at once.

Xiaoshi’s head fell back and his eyes instinctually fluttered closed again when Lu Guang rolled his hips. It was like it was going even deeper into him. Xiaoshi hadn’t even thought he’d be into something like this, and yet he wished Lu Guang would just fucking impale him already, ruin him. On top of everything, he swore this thing was swirling around inside him. He felt the tip curiously exploring his insides, but maybe it was just his head playing tricks on him. It surely didn’t have a mind of its own…right?

He didn’t get a chance to even moan as his voice was taken from him in the instant Lu Guang slammed back into him. That’s it, he thought he’d scream, but only a breathy sound came out. His head rolled to the side as he grabbed hold of Lu Guang’s shoulder, then wrapped his arm around his neck when he leaned down further. He felt Lu Guang grab both his and Xiaoshi’s cock in hand and start stroking them over, and this truly was something Xiaoshi had never thought he could experience.

He was already whimpering like crazy, his body entirely overstimulated in every sense of the word. At another thrust, Xiaoshi got the wind knocked out of him, his mouth hung open as he gasped for breath. 

Okay—wait—wait…!! he gave Lu Guang a shove to his shoulder, which seemingly snapped him awake. Lu Guang slowed down somewhat, giving Xiaoshi the opportunity to reach for his inhaler again, and pausing entirely as he breathed.

“Sorry.” he said between breaths. “We might have to stop every now and then.” he coughed, wheezing slightly, then commented as he was still out of breath, “Holy shit you’re rough…”

“♬♬♬.” he sounded neutral in his tone. Xiaoshi’s breathing evened out after just a minute more, and he could already feel Lu Guang growing impatient inside him. It was like he was activated all over again when Xiaoshi put his inhaler down and circled his arm back around Lu Guang’s neck.

He held on for dear life. He understood that he was quite literally having sex with a seacreature right now, but he truly didn’t expect Lu Guang to be such an animal. Not to mention how the…tentacle?—his cock inside him kept squirming around, ridges dragging along his rim, along his prostate, as deep inside him as anything had ever been. 

When he next started gasping for breath not even a minute later, Lu Guang didn’t give him the option to put a stop to this again and come to, but instead connected their lips and started breathing for him. Xiaoshi broke away and hung his mouth open, a loud yell escaping him as he could feel himself clenching in pleasure, which only turned the pleasure more pleasurable. 

Lu Guang was seriously a machine with how intensely he was going at it. Xiaoshi was almost embarrassed for being so loud with how quiet Lu Guang was being. He stared at Xiaoshi’s face, ears perking up with each noise he made, smile gradually widening the longer he thrusted in for and the more Xiaoshi grew restless. It didn’t take long before Xiaoshi was pushed to a second orgasm, clenching again and strongly digging his hand into Lu Guang’s back. It wasn’t real how good this felt.

He splurted all over his stomach, the mess quickly being washed away by the waves. He really wasn’t worried about that. What he was more concerned with at the moment was just how big Lu Guang’s load would be considering his size. Though, he laughed at the thought that it’d be an equally tiny amount. 

Lu Guang retracted a bit and stared down at Xiaoshi’s red, stretched rim. He put a hand on his asscheek, holding him open, to which Xiaoshi responded by putting his own hand onto his left one, stretching him from both sides. He wasn’t about to put the second one in, right? Though, masochistically, Xiaoshi really wanted to know how that felt, to be powerfully stretched open all at once.

Painful. It felt so painful—Xiaoshi quickly let go of himself and rather used his hand to push Lu Guang back, hoping his facial expression would do all the talking of just how uncomfortable that stretch was. Good enough, cause now Lu Guang pulled out of him entirely…

…and then stuck a full fist into him. Xiaoshi groaned out a swear as he felt Lu Guang’s two hands enter him and stretch him apart, preparing him. He wasn’t sure if there was anyone on the planet who could even take that much dick at a time anyways, did he really want to be the first to test this?

With the thinking side of his brain turned entirely off by now, the only clear answer to him was ‘yes, absolutely’.

Lu Guang spent a good few minutes still just stretching him, making sure he was fine, making sure he was wet.

He shoved one in again, the stretch now feeling insignificant compared to what he’d just done to him. But then the second one came in again, and he still clamped his teeth together at the stretch.

But it went in. His eyes widened as he felt the head pop in. It’s in. 

“Ah—” a very shallow breath escaped him, but it was inconceivable for him to form a thought in this state, and so he did not go for his inhaler. Instead he laid there on his back, mouth hung open as every centimeter of this thing dragged painfully past his rim and earned its place deeper inside him, stretching him more than he thought he could be stretched.

He didn’t have words when Lu Guang finally met his pelvis again. Just the thought that, holy shit, all of that’s inside me right now. And that thought had his mind reeling.

The pressure was incredible. Lu Guang wasn’t moving yet, allowing Xiaoshi to adjust, but this insane amount of pressure on his pelvis had him squirming anyways, even as no movement occurred. He landed his hand on his stomach, only to feel a clear outline of Lu Guang’s cocks inside him. Once again he tried to breathe, but it was shallow. Right, right—he needed…

His shaky hand was stopped midair as Lu Guang grabbed the device for him instead and held it up to his mouth. It’d take   more than a few deep breaths of air to get him accustomed to this, but at least he felt a little less like he was going to pass out now. 

“Pull it out…” he just softly begged, because he needed the painful pressure relieved. Lu Guang did so, pulled out to just the tip, before forcing his two whole lengths back inside. “Ah…!” he stopped caring about volume, not that he was overly conscious to begin with. Moving meant the pressure was lessened by at least a little bit, and so he rocked his hips along with Lu Guang’s pace, meeting him at just the right angle each time to get it to go all the way in, hitting the perfect spot inside him. “Oh—Right there, right there…!”

His speech was quiet, breathy, but Lu Guang could hear, and that was all that mattered. As his breathing got thinner, his moans would become soundless as he could barely stay conscious with the barrage of everything happening to his body. Lu Guang was sure to help him breathe every now and then when he seemed a little too breathless.

Xiaoshi curled into the embrace of Lu Guang’s tail still around him, starting to softly stroke the tip of it which, apparently, was also sensitive as Lu Guang made quite a face.

He grabbed it, clutched down as hard as he could as he kept taking Lu Guang’s harsh thrusts, kept being plunged into. He needed something to squeeze. 

His cocks were definitely moving on their own inside him. He felt how the tips took the time to explore and fight each while in there, meanwhile also caressing his walls or tangling into each other and forming for one, even larger head.

He didn’t think he could cum so often in a row, but his body was so sensitive, so overstimulated, and with the way Lu Guang was wrapped around him, he didn’t even get a chance to buck away from the pleasure at all. His body convulsed again as he felt his orgasm run through him, but Lu Guang didn’t even slow his pace.

Surely he’s almost there, right? He has to be. He has to cum soon. Before Xiaoshi’s reduced into an even worse mess of gasps, hiccups and yelps than he already currently was.

Xiaoshi’s hope dwindled the longer Lu Guang kept driving their hips to meet, his face making a similar expression to Xiaoshi’s, his moans coming out a lot more melodic, however. He wondered if Lu Guang could even cum or if he’d just go until eternity. This was where Xiaoshi lived now. 

Lu Guang kissed him again, helped him breathe, put a hand roughly in his hair as he pushed back up and Xiaoshi felt the sting of the pain, albeït a good kind of pain.

“Fuck—Lu Guang…” he sounded so whiny he didn’t even recognise his voice as his own. He was already so spent, overstimulation hitting him over and over again in waves, and let out a breathless gasp whenever Lu Guang’s hips met his asscheeks and his cocks once more scratched his insides. If he tilted his hips down just a little bit, the incredible ridges along his cocks no longer scratched into his prostate, and he hoped he could last just a little longer in this way.

Even still, the tug of his hair, the deep point inside him that Lu Guang was not only reaching but caressing with each thrust, the melodic gasps Lu Guang let out every now and then ensuring that he was enjoying himself—all of it drove Xiaoshi insane all at the same time. Thinking about any of these things individually already got him riled up, but all at once kept his body from passing out as the pressure never subsided, the pleasure never lessened much at all and Lu Guang’s eyes kept meeting his. He had to see this through.

Lu Guang was getting more affectionate, sucking his neck all over, licking his chest, his face, his mouth, kissing his cheek…if Xiaoshi didn’t know any better, he’d have thought Lu Guang was trying to consume him. A pinch to his nipple got him to squeal again, and then let out a long moan as he involuntarily clenched down around Lu Guang’s cocks.

His hand holding Lu Guang’s arm was leaving nail-shaped indents from how hard he was clutching him, from how hard he was holding on. Each time Lu Guang thrusted, that same hand was pushed forwards, and Xiaoshi was welcomed with a new tug on his roots. He whined and cried and whimpered as Lu Guang kept going, his overstimulation reaching its limit as he simply broke, came again with a loud shout and now started restlessly struggling against Lu Guang’s hold on him. Too much pleasure—entirely too much, god, fuck—!

“Lu Guang—Lu Guang, please…please—ah!” he bucked his hips up. “J—just a break, just—” another loud gasp came from him as he started struggling for breath again. Oh god. 

But when he opened his eyes, Lu Guang was staring right back at him, a drunken expression on his face, and he couldn’t help but smile in response.

Lu Guang kissed him, and then…

“What—” he felt it swelling inside him, growing larger all of a sudden as this started really pushing the boundaries of just how far the human asshole could stretch. “What’s—Lu Guang—!” he dropped his head back on the sand as he felt it. Lu Guang was spilling inside him, both at once, and it was a lot.

Right—right, that made sense, cause if it was truly for the sake of getting females pregnant that he has two for convenience, then getting as much sperm in as possible was a logical solution to ensuring a fertilised egg—right. Now explain why the fuck Xiaoshi was on the receiving end of this.

His mouth was covered by Lu Guang’s to the point he couldn’t even scream as what felt like litres upon litres of semen spilled into him. He gasped for air.

Xiaoshi barely felt Lu Guang pull out. He was so dazed that it was difficult to render anything. His heartrate calmed down again when he took a good few breaths of air through his inhaler. He’d never been so aware of his extreme dependence on this device as right now when he considered how horribly he would’ve died if he’d done this without it.

Xiaoshi tried crawling backwards onto the beach, out of the water, but the slosh he heard inside him stopped him in his tracks. He stared down and unclenched as he watched white fluid ooze out of himself. And then he turned his head to the culprit.

“You’re insane.” he said to Lu Guang, then looked back at himself. “My god…” he fell onto his back again as Lu Guang’s mess continued spilling out of him.

“♬.” he hovered over Xiaoshi, who let him kiss him still when he leaned down. Mentally, he didn’t even feel like he was on the same plane of existence as Lu Guang right now.

“Ah…” he tried to turn over but a sharp pain hit him. He’s sore. He’s so incredibly sore. It’d be a nightmare to do anything for the next few days.

This is what he wished for, he supposed. He tried to push more of Lu Guang’s cum out of him, but his entire lower body was really giving up on him right now. Especially as Lu Guang was still leaning between his legs, pressing kisses to and sucking on the skin of his thighs which he hadn’t gotten to yet. Xiaoshi groaned.

“Lu Guang, that’s enough…” he mumbled, sitting up and finally being able to tug his legs away from Lu Guang. He stood up on wobbly legs as he felt even more semen dripping out of him. He made his way back to the dock and sat down at the edge of it. He stared at Lu Guang in the water. “Do…your people usually get attached after doing this kind of stuff together?”

Lu Guang nervously smiled, nodded, then pointed at Xiaoshi, like he were directing the question straight back at him.

“...yeah.” he replied as well. He let out a long breath before falling backwards onto the wood. “That took all my energy.”

“Did it feel good?” he heard Lu Guang’s voice just under him.

Amazing, incredible, he wanted to say, but the words didn’t leave his mouth. Instead, his same observation came back. “I’m sore.”

“Mm.” Lu Guang made a soft acknowledgement. “My jaw hurts.”

…right. Xiaoshi flushed a bit red again. 

“Is that meant to happen?”

“Yeah.” he touched his face with his left hand to be sure he wasn’t dreaming up the heat despite how cold it actually was out here. “You lied to me. You told me you guys just ‘touch tails together’—what the hell is that all about?”

“...that’s true. You touch your tails together at the hips, the male slides inside, then the two penises rub against each other and he releases inside the female.” he simply explained, and Xiaoshi blinked a couple times. “I think…you people above ground have more pleasure receptors than we do. I really like what you sounded like during it. I wish I could make sounds like that.”

And he flushed even even redder. “There’s no way you just said that…” he covered his face with his hand to hide from his embarrassment.

“What time do you have to go back?” Lu Guang asked in a voice that implied he’d like the answer to be ‘never’.

“Now, probably. Unless you need to disinfect me after everything you just shot out inside of me.” he let out a deep breath as he touched his stomach and pushed down a bit, feeling cum still oozing out his backside.

“It’s typical for my people to stay together for a while after having sex with another…” Lu Guang somewhat nervously spilled, at which Xiaoshi turned his head.

“For how long?”

“For three and a half cy—” he stopped, then started again, “Uh, eighty-four hours.”

“Ei—Three and a half days?”

“I say one metric and you use another.” Xiaoshi heard him say under his breath, then more loudly, “It’s to ensure the health of the female and the child. If you stay in close contact, wrapped around each other, both your wife and child will be healthy.”

“And if you do it with a male?” Xiaoshi asked, cause this description didn’t exactly apply in this situation.

It was a question that stumped Lu Guang. “Y—You’re not actually supposed to do that…”

And yet. Here we are.

“You’re not actually male, are you? You have a hole, just like females do.”

“Do you people not have an anus?” now he turned to stare Lu Guang in the face, cause that was the most fascinating thing he’d heard yet.

“T—Uhm…” he stared down at himself in confusion. “At the bottom of my tail, for discharge?” he posed it as a question, but Xiaoshi supposed that made sense. No wonder Lu Guang had said all that stuff about Xiaoshi needing to bottom since he was currently male. The anatomy of merfolk was so bizarre.

“Everyone has one. Male or female.” Xiaoshi instead spoke, which Lu Guang frowned at. “Also for ‘discharge’, but also for pleasure. For men, there’s a spot up there that feels like heaven when it’s rubbed against” he chuckled. “You were constantly hitting it, and you didn’t even notice?”

“Ah…” he smiled. “No wonder you were so loud.”

“Can it.” he laid back down. 

For just a minute, the sound of the waves rushing was all he heard. Xiaoshi felt the dock shift yet again, saw Lu Guang coming to lay beside him, and now didn’t move as he was pulled into an intimate hug, his tail securing him firmly in place. Lu Guang curled into him, forcing Xiaoshi to feel his warmth despite the outside air feeling so cold right now. He relaxed in his embrace.

It was too late when he realised that Lu Guang probably wouldn’t let him go for eighty-four hours now. He tried to wriggle out of his embrace, but it was no use. Lu Guang had entered a sleeping state, and Xiaoshi was becoming tempted by it, too.

“Lu Guang…” he tried to move. “I have to go home…”

As if he were still protesting, even in his sleep, Lu Guang’s grip on him somehow tightened. He let out a soft whine.

“Lu Guang…” all he could do was stare at his sleeping face, accept his fate, and slowly drift off as well.

He woke up the next morning in bed again, with the slight recollection that he’d managed to convince Lu Guang to let him go in the middle of the night and had walked home after. Qiao Ling seemed surprised to find him in his bed in the morning and asked him what had happened, to which he realised he didn’t at all have an excuse. 

“...I got drunk, so I thought I should sober up a bit before going anywhere…” he chuckled softly, and Qiao Ling frowned.

“You got drunk.” she stared at him.

“I thought I’d go visit a bar.”

She sighed loudly. “And you got a hickey?”

He shot his left hand up to cover his neck from her view. “I—I was drunk, so I don’t actually know what happened—”

She muttered a swear under her breath before standing up. “Fine. It’s your friend, so it’s okay if you see Lu Guang, Xiaoshi, but seriously, don’t hurt yourself.”

“...he didn’t hurt me.” Xiaoshi’s voice came out weak in return, but Qiao Ling only smiled back.

“How does it even work if he’s half-fish? Does he have a crazy tongue hidden up there or something?” she smirked as Xiaoshi’s whole face heated.

“No—he has—” Xiaoshi stopped himself from speaking as his whole head got hot. “We’re—we’re changing the subject.”

“Ah, remember to breathe.” she reminded him as she started walking downstairs. He picked up his inhaler to breathe better, calm his head. Ugh…he got up and walked into the bathroom to inspect his neck, only to find that…

Shit. That’s a huge mark. That’s the first thing you would notice if you looked at him right now. Christ.

Using the fact she was downstairs right now to his advantage, Xiaoshi one-handedly broke into Qiao Ling’s makeup stash and struggled to find what he was looking for. It was, uh…concealer, that was…not the powdered one…

He really, really struggled to take the cap off the makeup, eventually sucking it up and using his teeth to finally unscrew the lid. Sorry, Qiao Ling. He applied a couple stripes with the brush before closing it back up and using his finger to spread the rest over his neck. One thing he was noticing was that Qiao Ling’s skin was slightly lighter than his, and this was entirely not his tone. He broke into a palette of her blush and darkened the area slightly again, trying to check his work in the mirror. It felt sort of like he was drawing, and at the same time, sort of not.

Satisfied enough, he cleaned up and finally walked back downstairs, where Qiao Ling was waiting on the couch for him with a roll of bandage in hand. He glared down at his current bandages, and figured it probably was about time to replace these.

“Where’d it go?” she commented when he came and sat down beside her.

“Where’d what go?” he asked as his forearm was yanked into her hands.

“You owe me for whatever stuff of mine you broke.” she took out the pin in his bandage and started unwrapping his hand. He saw his hand again for the fourth time since his injury, and found it was starting to look better.

“What do you think?” he quietly asked as he stared at the stitches that were starting to heal shut.

“...can you feel it if I touch you like this?” she asked him as she started applying his new bandage. He nodded his head. “And…could you move it?” she now looked up at him briefly, before staring down at his hand and waiting for something to happen.

He tried to send a signal from his brain to his hand, but it just wouldn’t receive it. All hyperfocusing on his hand got him was a shot of pain right into his head. “Ah—” he winced, squeezing his face together.

“Don’t push yourself.” she continued wrapping him up, then put the pin back into his bandage. “It’ll come.” she patted him on the back softly and got up from the couch. “Breakfast?”

“...oh, let me help you.” he got up as well and followed behind her. Half because he did actually feel bad that she was in the kitchen every day assisting him with his meals, and half because he was scared of just what she might create if he wasn’t there to tame her choices. She wasn’t a bad chef, just enjoyed flavour a bit too much for Xiaoshi’s tastes.

Qiao Ling huffed when he entered the kitchen after her, and handed him a pan. “Well? What’re we making?”

———

He felt like he was getting cramps every two seconds. Not only was it the same issue of needing to get the tubes open with his teeth since he no longer trusted Lu Guang to do it after he tried to eat some of the pigment, but he also couldn’t hold his palette while standing up, making it significantly harder for him to work on the fresco. And now his left hand was cramping. 

Meanwhile none of the lines he placed went in quite the right position, frustrating him endlessly. He’d been at this for so many days and the sections he was managing to complete within the timelimit were smaller and smaller. He half-considered going back to his sketchbook and drawing more (attempts at) straight lines just to try and steady his hand again, but he was already this far…

At least his eye was still there. He could still tell when something was off, he could still easily correct mistakes (although the amount of mistakes needing correction was overwhelming), he could still clearly see the vision before him. The work was getting done.

Lu Guang was motivating him, in any case. He sat on the dock with his long tail splashing the water, singing a calming melody as he worked. He wondered if Lu Guang had to take vocal coaching or if his people just naturally sounded like this when they went outside of water. Come to think of it, considering he’d talked about disallowing his sister from singing aboveground when ‘males’ are around, he wondered if that was just the nature of the siren. They sang songs that attracted the opposite sex into the water.

Xiaoshi really wondered what it said about him, then, considering Lu Guang’s voice had somewhat worked on him, as well.

He kept painting, hoping he’d get this whole section done within the next few hours before the plaster dried, hoping he’d get the fresco done in its entirety before he moved in a few more weeks.

“Lu Guang, go slow…” he scrunched his face up again and tried to correct Lu Guang on his pace. He’d gone entirely too hard last time, and Xiaoshi was hoping to have a smoother time this time around.

Once again, he felt him slide all the way in. Xiaoshi grabbed his second cock on top of him, stroked it over gently and saw Lu Guang smile.

“♪♪♪.” he let out before diving down and kissing Xiaoshi’s jaw. He rolled his hips once, slowly, and Xiaoshi let out a sigh.

“That’s it.” he ran his hand through Lu Guang’s hair, lifted his arm with his paralysed hand to rest on Lu Guang’s back. It’d mostly stopped hurting by now, but he still couldn’t move it. He kissed his cheek as he rolled his hips again. Xiaoshi exhaled sharply. “You’re so beautiful.”

Lu Guang kissed his cheek as well. “♩♭.”

Xiaoshi moaned as Lu Guang moved his hips forwards again, pulled out, and thrusted back in. It was a slower pace, but it didn’t change how amazing he felt. He shut his eyes and opened his mouth, sucked in a breath.

It was as if he was learning, with how Lu Guang now sought out the proper angle to thrust into him, sought out Xiaoshi’s moans and mannerisms that assured him he felt pleasure. Lu Guang was memorising him and his anatomy, and he was starting to worry about the implications of this going forward. How long would it take until he wasn’t able to last anymore?

As if he could last in this state. Despite being told to go slow, Lu Guang still sped up somewhat, and Xiaoshi turned his head into the sand. The ridges of his cock knocked into his prostate with each thrust, making it impossible for him to lay still. “Lu Guang…”

He dropped the hand in his hair back down, grabbed his inhaler and took a breath. He wished he wouldn’t have to constantly do this during an intimate activity like this, but he appreciated that Lu Guang never judged him. 

He pulled away with a strong exhale. “Fuck—” Lu Guang harshly met his hips and he felt it. He tilted his hips upwards, moaned out loudly. His left hand quickly shot down to start pleasuring himself, cause he was already feeling it coming. 

Xiaoshi ground his hips along Lu Guang’s length as he pressed in again and again, jerking his hand faster and faster as he got off on the sounds Lu Guang was starting to make.

“There—ah…” he gasped for air again. “Harder.” Lu Guang didn’t have any reservations about plunging himself in harder. Xiaoshi threw his head back and could feel his toes curl.

He was right, Lu Guang was really taking into account just what his body liked.

Xiaoshi’s hips stuttered as Lu Guang rammed into him, his hand clamping down tightly on his own cock, his lips slurring expressions of Lu Guang’s name until he couldn’t speak anymore.

Lu Guang kissed him, shoved his tongue into his mouth and tasted him, and he felt himself tip over the edge.

“Fuck—” he broke away quickly and took another few assisted breaths. “Lu Guang—Lu Guang, that’s enough…”

Irritably, Lu Guang stagnated inside him and stared down as he panted.

“Mm—pull out.” he ordered, which Lu Guang also hesitantly did. Xiaoshi sat up, then stood on wobbly legs. He took his inhaler with as he pushed up onto the small dock, bending over onto it. He figured this was both more comfortable for his arms as it was for actually taking all of Lu Guang at once. “You can put both in.” he next told him, and it must’ve taken Lu Guang a second to even process what he wanted.

He watched Lu Guang swim around to him and then jump on top of him, pressing his chest strongly into his back before he pushed up on his hands. “♬♬.”

Xiaoshi crossed his arms and rested his head in them. He felt one cock push past his rim, go all the way in, before Lu Guang pulled all the way out again. He hummed softly at the touch. 

Lu Guang repeated the motion a couple times, and Xiaoshi wondered when he’d put his second inside him already, just what he was waiting for. Lu Guang’s head dipped into the water.

“Did I hurt you last time?”

“No.” Xiaoshi replied instinctually, before thinking about the question more. “Oh—Uh, when you put both in suddenly, it hurt, if that’s what you mean.” 

“Can you tell me what to do?” he asked, then pulled out of the water. Oh, he’s insecure.

Xiaoshi reached his hand back to hold himself open. “If you can stretch me a bit more, then you can try putting both in. I guess you’re not used to it, but my body isn’t naturally made for…taking that, so I have to get used to it first…” he chuckled.

Lu Guang put his cock back in, earning a whine from Xiaoshi, and then slid a couple more fingers in alongside it. Xiaoshi felt a kiss to the back of his neck to calm him. “Was it fine how I did it last time?” rippled from the water.

“T—this is fine, too.” he responded with, mind too enamored to reply with anything but praise. “You’re doing good.”

He felt it getting more slimy down there as Lu Guang forced more of his hand in alongside his length. Xiaoshi wondered just where all of that was coming from, cause it almost felt like it was radiating off of Lu Guang’s cock itself.

He bucked his hips backwards as Lu Guang made it a point to press down on his spot with his hand, then stretched him wider still. He needed it. He didn’t care if it hurt. “Put the other one in…” he whined.

Lu Guang paused for a second, but pulled his hand out. He pulled out to just the tip, then entered his second tip inside. Slowly, he thrusted back in, seemingly a lot more mindful of the sounds Xiaoshi was making, trying to gauge his pain.

It hurt, but it hurt in a good way. He’d need a minute to get used to the stretch, but considering still how Lu Guang practically emitted a lube-like substance straight into him, it never hurt in a bad way. He felt like he should ask, but his mouth was busy doing other things right now as he tried his best not to alert the entire world of just what they were getting up to here.

He was loud regardless. Fuck did he feel it when he stretched him more the further he pushed in. Xiaoshi must’ve been getting greedy, cause his head was just screaming for more. Or, sorry, not his head, his mouth.

Lu Guang kissed his neck as he shouted again, panting as Lu Guang’s hips met his. He really couldn’t believe he’d ever taken all of Lu Guang like this before and he couldn’t believe he was taking it again. It felt so inconceivable that all that even fit inside him. It also felt incredible, sending his body straight into the stars. He tilted his hips up to adjust the angle, allowing Lu Guang to penetrate him deeper.

“You feel so good…” he airlessly whispered out as that same pressure started becoming a bit much for him. He took a breath from his inhaler as Lu Guang pulled out and then met his hips again. Xiaoshi wasn’t even embarrassed anymore as that earned a loud whine out of him. Lu Guang had said he liked his sounds anyways, so he tried not to hold back. 

He felt Lu Guang’s cocks moving inside him as he thrusted. He supposed it was accurate what he’d told him, his cocks were rubbing up against each other inside Xiaoshi. Each of them taking turns scratching against his prostate.

He took his inhaler away from his mouth and instead clawed his left hand strongly onto the wood to hold on. “Ah, fuck…” he squeezed his eyes shut when Lu Guang once more ground all the way into him. “Please, Lu Guang…!” he’d never considered just how sensitive he was, or maybe Lu Guang was making him more sensitive.

Every time he slid in and out of him, each small touch, every inch of their skin touching, it made Xiaoshi curl up inside. Sensations flew through his body as he was forced to just let all of it happen to him, cause he wouldn’t dare move away from all this pleasure. Lu Guang rammed into him again, and he let out a hiss. 

As Lu Guang got the horrible idea to start stroking Xiaoshi’s length on top of everything else, Xiaoshi physically couldn’t hold back from stuttering his hips while he gasped. He really swore he was trying to last.

Xiaoshi came not long after, hips still jittering, mind and body hypersensitive, Lu Guang still plowing into him. He didn’t tell him to stop. Not even as Lu Guang’s hand still continued stroking him, none the wiser that he’d already reached his climax. Lu Guang was focused on other things right now, as he planted his face into Xiaoshi’s back and let out a moan of his own. Oh, he was close.

As Xiaoshi still laid there, trying not to lose his mind from pleasure, he endured up until he heard another choked sound come from Lu Guang.

“♫♫♫.” he sighed into Xiaoshi’s back, and he figured this was the right time.

“Lu Guang, pull out…” Xiaoshi managed to get out in a weak and hoarse voice. 

“♫.” he couldn’t tell if that was a rejection, cause Lu Guang simply kept going, forcing another moan from Xiaoshi’s lips.

“I—I’m serious, it was a pain in the ass to clean up last time…” he arched his back, still felt kisses being pressed to him. “Lu Guang…!” Xiaoshi tried to lean up and look behind him, but as he was met with another thrust, he just fell right back down. “Ah—!” he gasped for air as he could feel Lu Guang swelling inside him again. There’s no way he didn’t hear him, so the only other option was that it was some sort of siren etiquette to never pull out. Granted, from what Lu Guang had told him, it seemed like they only really had sex to reproduce.

Xiaoshi was expecting to feel him shoot into him any moment now, but instead, he felt a sudden lack of anything inside him.

And then a harsh splatter onto his back. “Ah—” he tried to turn his head, but figured it’d be best not to right now. Lu Guang let out another long melody as he came, and Xiaoshi could only half-render the state he was currently in.

When he picked himself up after a minute or so, he watched a splatter of pure white fall off his back. He moved onto his knees and reached his hand up to scratch his head, only to realise it was in his hair, too.

With a sigh, he turned back to Lu Guang, who was innocently peeking his head out at him from the water.

He threw himself backwards and let the water engulf him. He took just a couple seconds to rub everything off him with his left hand before resurfacing and grabbing back onto the dock. Lu Guang helped him up. As he sat back down and stared Lu Guang in the eyes for a second, he couldn’t help the buildup of emotions inside him.

“You have way too heavy a load.” he still expressed first and foremost, though.

Lu Guang blinked at him in response, then shrugged.

“I’m starting to understand why this probably isn’t the best idea, the two of us.” he sighed as he laid down and his ears touched the water.

“It didn’t feel good?” Lu Guang was quick to ask.

“It felt too good. I’ll never get anything done if I’m with you.” he chuckled as he said his response, and heard a similar laugh from Lu Guang. “Hey, when do I get to do that to you?”

Lu Guang replied with a confused hum, and so Xiaoshi turned onto his side.

“The other way around. Me on top. I wanna break you, too.” he stated, and watched Lu Guang redden.

“...it would take me a few months to transform fully into a female.” he replied in a very soft voice. “I don’t know how that’d feel, though. There’s no guarantee it’d be pleasurable.”

“I’ll make it pleasurable.” Xiaoshi replied with a grin, and heard Lu Guang huff. “In a few months I’ll be gone already…”

“Oh, right.” his voice dimmed down significantly. “Sorry, then.”

Xiaoshi flopped back onto his back. “For what? I’m just moving, I’m not barred from visiting.” he smiled. “I still own the shop. Why don’t I come back every other weekend, print your pictures for you and see how you’re doing?”

He heard his tail splash in the water, and—there he was, beside him on the docks again. He put his mouth underwater. “You’d do that?”

“I’m not doing you a favour. I want to see you, too.” he said, but it just made Lu Guang smile wider. He leaned back in and kissed Xiaoshi’s lips, before eyeing downwards again.

“You’re still hard.” Lu Guang commented, pushing his head into Xiaoshi’s chest.

“Maybe it hasn’t been enough yet…” Xiaoshi happily reached back down to fondle one of Lu Guang’s cocks again, but he quickly stopped him. Then he tucked them both away.

“Please don’t. I can only cum once. Any more stimulation and it starts hurting.”

“Ah? No wonder you do so much at a time, then.” Xiaoshi nodded softly, then crawled slightly upwards, so his cock was now right in Lu Guang’s face. He stared up at him like he wasn’t sure of what to do. “Go ahead.” Xiaoshi encouraged.

“♩♩.” he hummed as he pressed a kiss to Xiaoshi’s abdomen, then took him slowly into his mouth. After seeing the monstrous size difference between him and Lu Guang, he took a weird amount of pride in the fact that Lu Guang still choked and coughed after taking him all the way into his mouth, and then backed away again.

Lu Guang’s mouth was becoming equally wet as his fingers and cock were, and Xiaoshi’s curiosity was getting the better of him.

“Where does that come from…?” he breathed out as he tangled his hand into Lu Guang’s hair.

“Mm…?” Lu Guang’s eyes closed as he bobbed his head back and forwards a few times, now sliding along his length much easier than before.

“Whatever you’re…oozing out of you right now.” Lu Guang pulled off once he’d spoken, tilted his head into the water.

“...males self-lubricate.” he explained. “That was another reason I thought you were female after the last time.” he pressed a kiss to Xiaoshi’s tip. “Does it gross you out?”

“N—no…” he nervously smiled. “It’s, uh…really convenient, actually…” he let his hand do most of the speaking as he urged Lu Guang back onto him, and he continued licking up his length, taking him into his mouth, sucking on his balls. Xiaoshi sighed and leaned into the touch, shut his eyes as he caressed Lu Guang’s hair further, pushing his head down onto him slightly.

He moaned out Lu Guang’s name still, though his voice was already rather spent, and he didn’t feel the need to be as loud anymore. Even if Lu Guang’s mouth on him felt fantastic.

His hips bucked forwards into Lu Guang’s mouth a couple times, seeking more pleasure. The third time it happened, Lu Guang clasped his hand down on Xiaoshi’s thigh, trying to keep him in place, making Xiaoshi grunt softly.

He tried to move again, but Lu Guang held him still. He was still entirely too sensitive all over for his own good. He’d had a rough time trying to walk back home the last time, and he couldn’t imagine what he’d feel this time. “Agh…” he curled in on himself at the same time that he felt something wrapping around him. “Lu Guang, we’re not doing this again…” he tried to fight against his tail, but Lu Guang sucked down hard, and he tried and failed to buck his hips forwards again. “Lu Guang…” that same whiny voice.

Xiaoshi’s struggles against Lu Guang stopped as he shifted on the dock again and gasped out a couple times, feeling himself nearing an orgasm. His hand squeezed into Lu Guang’s locks.

Lu Guang sank down on him just a few times more, swirled his tongue around the head, and squeezed Xiaoshi’s base tightly as he finally tipped over, spilling out into Lu Guang’s mouth with a groan. He pet his head just a few more times until Lu Guang pulled off, coughed, and spit everything in his mouth out.

“Huh…? You swallowed it all last time…” Xiaoshi commented with a smile as Lu Guang looked back up at him.

“And it was gross last time.” he responded as he curled his tail even more around Xiaoshi and moved up to embrace him.

“Let go. I swear to god.” he tried to move out of his hold but couldn’t.

“It’s for your health.”

“I’m not a woman…you didn’t even cum inside me this time.” he irritably breathed into Lu Guang’s neck. “My last boyfriend certainly didn’t have a problem walking out the second I made him cum.” his comment made Lu Guang hold him tighter.

He probably hadn’t understood him. “It’s for your health.” he repeated.

It’s a superstition, stayed on the tip of Xiaoshi’s tongue. Instead of speaking, he rather decided to turn his head down and lick Lu Guang’s skin. He tasted like saltwater, the texture scaly. He took a breath in through his nose as he sucked down on his skin, wondering how big of a mark he could leave. Lu Guang winced when he bit down on his neck and hit a quick hand against his shoulder.

“Xiaoshi—”

“I like that sound.” he smiled, bit down again.

It was funny how Lu Guang continued to try and push him away, despite refusing to leave the embrace he was holding the two of them in. He whined again the harder Xiaoshi bit, as he discovered Lu Guang’s skin was much thicker than his.

“I live with my sister, are you trying to leave a mark?” he shook Xiaoshi enough to get his teeth off him, and he huffed.

“I live with my sister, too, you jackass.” he reached his left hand over, took an inhale from his device, then continued chewing on Lu Guang’s shoulder. “Let me go and I won’t leave any more of a mark.”

“Hm…” he turned his head back into the water and irritably groaned as Xiaoshi started sucking down on his skin again. “I think…a mark will be gone after eighty-four hours.”

Xiaoshi punched Lu Guang in the arm. “Do you want the fresco done before I leave or not?!” he felt Lu Guang’s grip on him tighten.

“You’re not even gonna work on it, you’ll just pass out in this state.” he barked back, earning him another punch.

“You don’t expect me to wrap myself around you for eighty-four hours when I come visit, right?” he frowned.

“Yes?? Will you not???” he sounded outraged, and Xiaoshi hit him in the arm another ten times until he backed away finally. Lu Guang fell into the water and resurfaced not a second later. “♬♬♬♬!” he said with an angry expression on his face.

Xiaoshi took a quick breath with his inhaler before attempting to stand. He shakily walked back onto the beach and picked up one of the towels he’d just started keeping here for the time being. Wiping just his upper half off, he struggled a bit to one-handedly slide his sweater back on, and then pulled underwear over his legs one by one. Lu Guang was watching him from the water. He plucked his shorts out of the sand and shook them off, then stepped into those as well.

He walked back over towards the water, stepped onto the dock, then knelt down. He grabbed Lu Guang’s face in his hand and leaned forwards, gave him a peck on the forehead, then stood back up.

“Just a small section, alright? Before it gets dark.”

Lu Guang laughed, then excitedly sang a melody at him as he stepped towards the near-completed fresco. Just a few more sessions and he’d be done. He’d have no reason to visit Lu Guang anymore.

He picked up the wet plaster and began applying today’s section.

“You decided where you’re going yet?” Qiao Ling entered back into the shop as Xiaoshi was sat behind the counter on the computer.

“Mm?” he fixed her with a confused stare, but she clearly knew what he was up to.

“You’ve been sneaking off to work on the fresco, right? How’s painting with your left hand going?”

Xiaoshi glared back at his computer. “You’re so nosy.” he leaned onto his hand. “It’s going…”

“Well? There’s some decent artschools around the place I found for us. Compile some of your photography and drawings and send them in.” 

Xiaoshi sniffed, didn’t move his eyes off the screen although he no longer had focus. “I don’t…they’re not gonna take me. Remember? It’s not even like I take photographs anymore…”

“Then send in the stuff you used to take before your lung injury. They’ll see your passion, they’ll see you have an eye for it. That’s more than enough. Other people can take the pictures for you. You can be like that, uh… <An—Andrew Wan—>”

“<Andy Warhol>.” Xiaoshi said, and Qiao Ling quickly nodded.

“Him. You can be like him, he used assistants to perform all his work for him, right? You’ll be the one in charge, calling all the shots.”

“I don’t want other people to make art for me. I just want to be able to do it myself…” he sighed out and dropped his head limply to the counter.

“Xiaoshi…if you get to determine the angle, lighting, perspective, composition, everything about a shot, then what’s it matter if someone with more hand dexterity than you takes the picture?” Xiaoshi could hear her moving from in front of to behind the counter as she also leaned down with him. He blinked his eyes open. “Or you just use a tripod.”

“And underwater?”

“Fine. But that’s what your drawings were for, right?” she leaned back again and jumped up to sit on top of the counter. “So?” she stared down at him, then smirked. “Unless you’d rather join the corporate world. Start a nine-to-five.”

Xiaoshi turned his head back into his arm and stopped facing her.

“...you can stay unemployed for a while, too. No pressure.” she jumped off the counter again and turned away. “It’s months until September, so just think about it.”

“I—” he stopped himself from speaking, pushed his face further into his arm. “I’m so useless, aren’t I?”

“Why? You’re adjusting.” her tone sounded so stupidly kind.

“Why’re you so patiënt with me? There’s no way you’re comfortable letting me laze around and rot away while you pay for everything, cook all my meals, help me change…” he grimaced and sat up. “You’re perfectly alright taking care of me for the rest of your life?”

Xiaoshi didn’t even want to look as her face morphed uncomfortably and she stared at him with what he could only interpret as disdain. “Cheng Xiaoshi.”

“You can just say it. I get it.” he got out before she could continue.

“Xiaoshi.” she demanded, and he glared back at her. “Do you think I’m here out of obligation?” shut him up quickly as he stopped to think. “I want you to have adequate help, that’s why I’m helping you to begin with. I want you to have an easy life. I want you happy. I’m not hung up on being the one to work to keep the two of us afloat, I’m more hung up on being there enough to keep you in check, cause apparently your head likes to run circles when I’m not there to calm you.”

“...but you didn’t have to do any of this before my injury.” he still mumbled, when Qiao Ling slammed her hand on the table.

“You were my brother before your injury and you’re still my brother now.” she firmly said, finally snapping Xiaoshi out of his head a bit. “God, you’re insufferable sometimes, aren’t you…?” she frustratedly commented, pushing her hair back with one hand. “For one second, just focus on yourself, think of of your own future, think of what you want to do, and don’t worry about me. If I hated doing things for you so much, I’d give you back to our parents.” she sighed and walked out, leaving Xiaoshi somewhat dumbfounded.

Shit…he leaned back onto his hand, pissed off that she had a point. 

She helped him make dinner, they watched their favourite show, and when Xiaoshi got to bed, he took a minute to think about it all again. Come to think of it, the only times Qiao Ling had ever seemed distressed since his lung injury was when she didn’t know what was going on with him, or when he was endangering himself. Sure, she had trouble adjusting at first, but she never seemed to mind helping him with things. In fact, she really only jumped at the opportunity.

Since his hand injury, it’d been the same. She’d even told the doctors she’d do anything she could to help him out at home. The nurse had made a joke about how he was ‘in good hands’. 

“Jie.” he called in a weak voice just before she could climb up to her bunk. 

“Mm? Need something?” she tiredly asked him, and he didn’t even know what to say. 

“Uhm…” his eyes started watering all on their own, and he dropped his hand down. He sniffed as he wiped his face with his left hand, not knowing why he was crying to begin with, but too emotionally overwhelmed to stop.

Qiao Ling exhaled, headed for the door. “I’ll get you something to drink.” she left, and still the mention of that made him tear up all the more. He brought his right hand to his face out of instinct, but couldn’t move it to dry his tears.

Qiao Ling came in another few minutes later with a cup of hot tea which she sat down on his bedside table. She grabbed his right hand and set it back down on the bed, compelling him to look at her.

“...it’s still about earlier?” her hand met his shoulder.

Xiaoshi didn’t know. He didn’t know how to feel, what to think. He just felt like if he let Qiao Ling go one more second without knowing how much everything she did for him meant to him, he’d die on the spot. He trapped her in a tight hug. 

“...Xiaoshi.” she hugged him back, although hesitantly, when he started loudly crying into her shoulder. “I’m serious, talk to me.”

“I love you.” he cried, tightening his grip as much as he could without hurting his hand.

Again, it sounded like she might’ve sighed out of disappointment. “Were you so insecure this whole time? I promise you, Xiaoshi, you’re worth all the effort I put in.” made him cry all the harder. She softly laughed as she started rubbing her hand along his back. “I love you, too.”

She pushed him back for a second and handed him the small plate which his tea rested on, to which he took the teahandle in his hand and took a hesitant sip. It was sweet. “Qiao Ling…” his head fell back against the bricks. “I know you say it’s okay, but are you actually alright with taking care of me forever? I’ll just be a financial burden if I’m not earning money for us, and you already have to help me out with household tasks…you’ll never be able to bring friends over, cause I’ll be there. You couldn’t bring a boyfriend over.”

She burst out laughing before quickly stopping herself. “Sorry—that’s, uh…” there was still a distinct smile on her face. “I don't care about finances, really. I’m working a job I like, and I already have practically everything I need. Waiting until you get a job to split bills—it really doesn’t matter to me, Xiaoshi.” she faced down. “Sorry, the idea that I’d need you out of the house to bring friends or a boyfriend over cracked me up.”

“What if you want privacy?” he still asked, and she quickly shook her head.

“You seriously think—Xiaoshi, I’m not interested in—in dating...I don’t want a boyfriend.” she continued to chuckle softly. “And if I need privacy with friends, I’ll just go over to their place, I figure.”

“...oh.” he turned down as his face heated somewhat. 

“Is that what finally calms you? Seriously?”

“Well—cause who wants to bring friends home to where their disabled brother is coughing up a storm and struggling to do anything by himself with a paralysed hand?” he still cried, though his tone was becoming competitive. 

“I do, oh my god.” she smacked him gently over the head. “And I’m not bringing anyone back who’s gonna have a problem with that.”

“I just—” he sniffed. “You won’t get sick of me?”

“I won’t get sick of you.” she wiped a tear from his face, pushed his bangs aside, then gave him a short kiss on the forehead. “You okay to sleep now?”

“...uhm…” he sipped his tea again, the embarrassing question on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t speak it. Another sip until he coughed a few times and picked up his inhaler. “I don’t…” he shallowly breathed and went back for another breath.

Qiao Ling probably had an idea of what he was gonna say, but she was still waiting for him to say it himself. She stared at him with an unimpressed expression.

“You’re gonna make me say it?” he narrowed his eyes and turned his head down.

“You’re the twenty-three year old man about to ask me this, so say it with your full chest.”

“Can you not—” he scoffed. “Fine. I…” another breath with his inhaler so he could finally just put it away again. He put the empty mug down on the nightstand and laid down, then curled in on himself. “I don’t want to sleep alone.”

“Grown man.” she snorted, and he hit her in the side. She hit him right back, before getting beneath the covers and laying down. “My poor baby brother, come here, give your sister a hug…” she held her arms open to him.

“Do you have to make this weird?” he was cut off by a hand ruffling his hair.

“You’re easy to tease.” she huffed, letting him go again when he pushed back. Xiaoshi stared up at her. “Did you want a hug, or did you just want me here?”

“Just—this is fine…” he turned over to lay on his back.

“Mm. Night, Xiaoshi.”

“You can, uh…help me apply for schools in the morning, right?”

“Sure.”

A small smile crept its way onto his face. “Goodnight.”

In the past year, Xiaoshi had started creating art. Instead of taking his boat onto the water and diving down to take pictures, he spent all his freetime sketching and painting the creatures he could no longer photograph. He’d taken it seriously, just like photography, just as if it were his job.

Over the course of the year he’d watched himself grow into someone who could at least competently draw. Not that he couldn’t draw at all before his injury, but he’d only started studying it since. He wondered if he was even good enough to get into any kind of artschool. He’d studied photography and lenses in university prior to this, but that wasn’t really an artschool…he wondered if this place would be more prestigious.

For now, Qiao Ling was driving him an hour and a half away to view the apartment they were thinking of renting.

“It’s a two-bedroom, right?” Xiaoshi asked for clarification even though he already knew the answer to the question.

“I don’t want my room stinking like oilpaint, so yes.” she remarked, to which Xiaoshi let out a dramatic sigh. “Two bedrooms, one bathroom, kitchen, livingroom, diningroom, and a balcony. That’s the place.” she checked her navigation. “We’ll be there in a half-hour, you’ll see it.”

“Mm.” he agreed.

It was a large place. Though, given its location in the city and how it was farther away from the coast, it was considerably cheaper than Xiaoshi would’ve thought. He didn’t feel as awful anymore about possibly not having an income for years to come.

What he especially liked was his bedroom and their livingroom. Both were large, open spaces that were well-lit, and he could just imagine himself spending hours in there painting. 

He really liked the place.

“Well? You haven’t stopped smiling since we left.” she nudged him in the side as they walked back from the car into the shop. 

“It’s a nice place. And it’s only an hour and a bit by train, right? So I can come visit the shop and ma and ba on weekends.” he nodded with a smile still.

He unlocked the door to the shop, watched Qiao Ling go in, and got a ping on his phone. Ah.

His photos app opened when he clicked on the notification, and he saw a photograph of Lu Guang and his sister sat at a table, a dead fish in front of them. That’s…sweet. The second picture was a photograph of Lu Guang’s gold collection, the third was a picture of…what looked to be the fish he was eating for dinner in the first picture before he killed it. Cool.

Another notification, and another four pictures showed up. A picture of a shark upclose, a photo of Lu Guang’s long tail in the water, a picture of the colourful corals near the reef, and…

A photo of the empty beach, of Xiaoshi’s near-finished fresco. 

He checked the time. It was five past four. “L—Lingjie—” he turned to her quickly, but she waved him away.

“Go on. I won’t stop you.” she dropped herself down on the couch in the sunroom. “Just be back before dinner. I’ll cook at eight.”

“Right.” he sent his pictures to the printer, quickly printed them all out, stuffed them into a plastic bag, then grinned at her in the sunroom. “See you.”

Lu Guang was singing, waiting for him. He happily ran up to the area and knelt by the water to give him a hug. It’d been a couple days now since they’d seen each other. 

Lu Guang tightly latched onto him, squeezing him, singing into his ear out of joy. Xiaoshi let him go again and smiled. “How’ve you been?”

“♬♬♬!” he splashed the water for Xiaoshi to come closer, but he didn’t.

“Sorry I couldn’t come, I’ve been busy collecting works to put into a portfolio, and then my sister and I spent all of today visiting our new place.” he still smiled, but watched Lu Guang’s grin drop significantly.

“♪.” he nodded, then retreated into the water again.

“Hey, Lu Guang?” he leaned into his hand and continued, “It’s only about an hour away. Why don’t I come visit you every weekend, or every other weekend?”

It brightened his expression again. Xiaoshi leaned closer into the water as Lu Guang crawled farther out of it, and he grabbed his face to press a kiss to his lips. 

“It’s just a bit over a week until I’m out, so I should make the most out of my time, right?” he stood up and stepped back towards the fresco. Almost finished. Missing two sections for just two more sessions. Lu Guang crawled farther up to the beach to watch him paint.

He applied today’s section, then picked up his palette.

Somehow his interview had gone so much better than he’d expected. Of course, he had albums upon albums of old, professionally-taken photographs, which was already impressive in its own right, but when he showed the year’s worth of paintings, studies, sketches, and a photograph of his completed fresco, three-hundred by two-fifty centimeters, they were impressed. He even got a bit of extra time to talk considering he spent a good few minutes on his inhaler, trying to catch his breath.

He had to get in now. He just had to wait a few months to see. His heart was going crazy with anticipation.

He and Lu Guang still spent their time chatting, drawing, singing, and…doing some other activities together. After getting to know Lu Guang over the course of a few months now, he found he was a pretty timid person. He stated everything just how it was, expressed his emotions in the most straight-forward way possible, had trouble understanding Xiaoshi when he was being vague.

Mostly his talks about his life still centered around his sister. He supposed that all Lu Guang did whenever Xiaoshi wasn’t around was hunt for food, collect trinkets and take care of his sister. And now, of course, take photographs. When Xiaoshi shared his life with Lu Guang, he seemed endlessly interested in how things worked on the surface, invested in a world he couldn’t be a part of.

Or… “Hey, since there’s a way for me to become…half-fish if I wanted to, would there also be a way for you to become like me and grow legs?” Xiaoshi asked, to which Lu Guang hummed into the water.

“I’ve never heard of one. And I’m not half-fish, I’m—”

“You’re a human from the ocean and you have a regular lower half, I know.” he finished Lu Guang’s sentence for him.

“You’re the one who’s half-ape.” Lu Guang continued, however, and Xiaoshi chuckled.

“Mm, you’re right.” he turned his head into the water. “But there’s no way, then? Impossible?”

“I’ve never heard anything, like I said.” he checked his watch. “If you want to do research, you can.”

“Can’t do anything on my own, I’m not a biologist. You’d have to be studied for that to happen.”

“Okay, so, impossible, then.” Lu Guang concluded. Xiaoshi lifted his arms and stretched before dropping them both back into the water. “What’s gonna…happen tomorrow?” he insecurely tacked onto the backend of his speech. Tomorrow Xiaoshi would…well, you know.

“I’ll come back this weekend, it'll only be two days.” he smiled. “After that, I'll see you weekly. Or, I’ll try to.”

“Be here. Please.” Lu Guang’s voice got soft.

“I will, I will.” he smiled still. “Just that if one day the trains aren’t running, I can’t come.”

“Then make sure the terrains are running.”

“Trains. Trains, Lu Guang. It’s, like, a moving box that people sit in to get them from one place to another. Think of an on-land boat.” Xiaoshi said, hoping Lu Guang could picture it before him.

“Oh, like a car?” Lu Guang tried to relate. “Is that what people like you who can’t swim use?”

“It’s what everyone uses.” he stuck his hand in the water and smacked Lu Guang on the head. 

“Can you show me a photo?” he asked, and Xiaoshi sighed. 

“I don’t go around taking pictures of the train…” he checked his phone and scrolled down his photos app a bit before landing on a selfie that he’d taken at the station once. “Behind me. The windows. That’s a train.”

Lu Guang popped out of the water and grabbed his phone, looked at the image from all angles, then handed it back and dropped down again. “Looks boring.”

“I’m glad.” he dropped back down to his back. “Anyways, they’re pretty consistent, so I don’t expect to be delayed when coming to visit. I’ll be here.” he pouted. “What’ll happen to you if I don’t come?”

Lu Guang stayed silent for a minute, causing Xiaoshi to wonder if he’d heard him at all. “I…” he sniffed briefly, then continued. “I’d miss you.”

Xiaoshi took a quick breath through his inhaler, feeling his heartbeat picking up somewhat, as he pushed off the dock and plunged into the water. He swam towards Lu Guang under the dock, grabbed his face with his hand, and kissed him.

He felt Lu Guang clutch onto his face as well, then force Xiaoshi’s mouth open and push air into his mouth.

“Mm—” he squeezed his eyes even more shut before opening them again, staring at Lu Guang. His eyes were open, and he breathed more air into Xiaoshi’s mouth before finally breaking the kiss and sending Xiaoshi up to the surface.

“Xiaoshi?” he asked to a still-dazed Cheng Xiaoshi as he was weirdly recovering his breath.

“Mmm…?” he leaned forwards again until his head was in the water.

“I have a parting gift for you, before you leave…” Xiaoshi pulled his head out of the water after he’d spoke, his wet bangs sticking to his forehead.

“Ah? You wanted to trade me something for the fresco?” Xiaoshi chuckled, to which Lu Guang frowned, but took one of his necklaces off and tossed it at him. “Oh, I didn’t mean you had to—”

Lu Guang held his hand out at Xiaoshi like he should wait, and then quickly swam away.

“...okay.” he blinked a few times, stared down at the golden necklace in his hand. Uh…he managed to get it open pretty easily, but then struggled severely when trying to put it on. He tried to set it on the back of his neck, then leaned down forwards and used his left hand to try and pinch it together, but—

Shit. He wasn’t even good at this when he had both of his hands. Why were necklaces made to be such nightmares.

He struggled for the entire next ten minutes it took Lu Guang to come back, granted he gave up about six times during that timeframe. 

Lu Guang pulled up with…flippers for swimming, a scubadiving suit, and a backpack that contained an…oxygen…tank…

Xiaoshi’s heart skipped a beat. “H—hey, you’re not serious, are you…?” he couldn’t help but smile as Lu Guang got closer to him and started gently taking his clothes off, mindful not to rip anything. After he was stripped of his sweatshirt and shorts, Xiaoshi felt Lu Guang tug the suit over his legs, over his chest. He felt him zip up the back. Then, he picked up the necklace that Xiaoshi had since dropped to the ground and chained it around his neck.

“♪♪.” he put goggles over Xiaoshi’s face, attached the tank to his back, then gave Xiaoshi the mouthpiece.

“Lu Guang, I might still not be able to breathe, since this won’t help me…”

Lu Guang pressed a kiss to his cheek, then dragged himself back into the water, put the flippers on Xiaoshi’s feet, and then reached his hands out to him.

…he had to trust him. Xiaoshi put the mouthpiece in his mouth and took his hands, letting himself get dragged into the water. 

Lu Guang had since pulled his camera out of his bag and handed it to Xiaoshi, allowing him full reign, full control. He was able to show Lu Guang how to use the different functions on this camera better, he was able to explain composition and colour in a more meaningful way, he was able to show him which subjects were interesting to photograph and which weren’t. But most importantly he was able to finally…take pictures of everything himself again. It’d been so long.

Sure, Lu Guang still helped him hold it as he fidgeted with the settings, Lu Guang held it on the other side for him as he pressed the button to snap a picture, but it still felt like his picture. Or, better yet, their picture.

He wished he could just breathe underwater like Lu Guang could. He wouldn’t need this tank, this suit, any of it. He could lean in and kiss him on the cheek right now, he could speak to him as he swam beside him and held the camera up.

Xiaoshi saw his favourite creatures again right in front of him, no barrier of needing to draw them through paper, he was right back to photographing them now. It felt almost magical, especially as Lu Guang picked them up and held them, encouraging Xiaoshi to touch and handle them, too.

Of course, he couldn’t stay for long. After twenty minutes of swimming around (or, being dragged around by Lu Guang, who insisted on him not moving too much to keep his breath), he signaled to Lu Guang he had to go back to the surface, use his inhaler again.

“Cheng Xiaoshi?” he called his attention just before he took him back. 

He looked over and smiled, a little out of it.

“Just for tonight…after I bring you back, would you stay with me for just a night?”

“Mm?” he made a soft sound, then nodded his head quickly, riding the high of being so excited to finally see the underwater again that he felt he’d do anything Lu Guang asked him right now to repay him. Lu Guang slung his arms around his shoulders as he started swimming back to the shore. Xiaoshi tapped on his shoulder and urged him to bring them to the surface quickly, where he finally took the mouthpiece out and took a breath of fresh air. He kissed Lu Guang, then slowly backed away, feeling lightheaded. “Ah, did you want to have sex again?” his mind comprehended just what Lu Guang had asked of him finally.

“No.” Lu Guang replied, however.

Oh. No? So…the thought of spending eighty-four hours together in an embrace tangled into Xiaoshi’s head again and he frowned. “Whatever happens, I have to be out by tomorrow.”

“I know.” Lu Guang agreed, which made him feel more secure.

He coughed as he was thrown onto land a couple minutes later, promptly had his mouthpiece torn out as his inhaler took its place. His hand raised up to hold it so Lu Guang could let him go.

It was a couple minutes before he’d fully came to, and he realised Lu Guang was already trying to get his diving suit off him. “It’s okay, it’s okay…” but he still allowed Lu Guang to tug on the skintight parts of his suit, knowing he couldn’t tug them off his left arm on his own. He changed him back into his regular clothes, probably assuming they were more comfortable. “You know, you don’t have to do all that for me." he smiled sweetly.

Lu Guang shook his head in disagreement. He did have to do all that.

Xiaoshi looked back at the discarded scubagear on the sand. “Where’d you pull that from, anyways?”

That caused Lu Guang to give him a funny look, grinning somewhat mischievously. It caused Xiaoshi to remember how they’d first met, how Lu Guang had also stolen all of his stuff at the time. It was in his nature, so it was okay.

When evening came, Lu Guang excused himself to go get dinner for his sister, but when night came, he was back again with Xiaoshi. Like always, they laid on the dock together, side by side, Xiaoshi’s ear in the water, Lu Guang’s mouth beside it. He curled his tail around Xiaoshi’s body, and hugged him tight. 

“I suppose the people aboveground wouldn’t do this, but holding someone like this means intimacy and close connection to us. It means we’ll never part.” Lu Guang explained when Xiaoshi seemed confused that he was doing this again. Cheng Xiaoshi nodded.

“I thought it was for health reasons.”

“If you’re having a child, then yes.” he clarified, and Xiaoshi nodded.

“Mm. Intimacy and close connection.” he wrapped his arm around Lu Guang’s neck and pulled him closer. “I’m so glad I met you.” he let slip. Holding Lu Guang like this, feeling his warmth even in the cold, it made him unreasonably happy to get to do this with someone else. To get to do this with Lu Guang.

“Xiaoshi?” he still heard a whisper, but didn’t open his eyes. He hummed, and it prompted Lu Guang to go on. “When you’ve heard folklore tales about us, what do they say?”

“...you wanna hear that?” he awkwardly chuckled. “It’s western mythology, so I’m only tangentially familiar, but the story goes something like ‘sirens’—the merfolk: half-human, half-fish—sing their songs in the mist as sailors pass by. The sailors hear the sounds and become attracted to it, and it leads them to steer their boat into the rocks. I think that the sirens in mythology were always female, though, since, in that timeperiod, sailors were always male.”

“Is that why you were scared of me when we first met?” Xiaoshi wasn’t expecting him to bring that up, and he peeked his eyes open.

“I wasn’t, uh…it was unexpected, cause I didn’t know your people existed. So I thought I might be in danger. Also cause your song was making me sleepy, and I was scared to pass out again…” he explained away, hoping Lu Guang would understand.

“My song…had an effect on you?” he sounded surprised, even if that wasn’t a super shocking thing to Xiaoshi.

“It’s subdued, right? Since we’re both men. When your sister sang, it’s like I couldn’t move at all. Whenever you sing, I just get drowsy, like I wanna curl up and sleep, but I can still keep moving if I try.” he said, to which Lu Guang went silent for a minute.

Two minutes.

Then, “D’you know what happens if a siren falls in love with a human? The other way around? Or was there never a story about that?”

“Uhm…” he weirdly laughed, “Why’re you asking? I think I only know about the fairytale. But that’s fiction, not folklore. She fell in love with a man and wanted to join the human world, so she sold her voice to walk on land. Then, she finds out the man was in love with someone else, and she’s so heartbroken that she returns to the sea and turns to foam.” he gave a quick summary, and saw Lu Guang knit his brow. Xiaoshi shut his eyes again, assuming that was the end of it, assuming they would sleep.

He was blacking out when Lu Guang spoke again. “If I lured you into the sea, what do you think would happen to you?”

“Mm? If I dive, I die.” he tiredly blurted out, head no longer thinking about his words before he let them fall from his tongue.

“And the girl in the story? What would’ve happened if she’d lured the man back into the ocean? Could he have lived with her there?”

“...I don’t know. I think she didn’t want to interfere with his life since he was happy, that’s why she killed herself instead.”

Lu Guang squeezed him tighter. “I love you, Xiaoshi.”

“Love you…” he let out, voice finally drowning out as he fell into complete darkness, swearing he could still hear a ‘goodnight’ come from him.

The next morning, Lu Guang was gone. As was the large fresco on the beach. Xiaoshi checked the time on his phone, and…shit, he only had a couple hours.

He grabbed his stuff and left.

Qiao Ling didn’t seem to care that he was out all night, didn’t care that he came home just an hour before they left. All she told him was to go shower and wash the sand out of his hair.

“Good night last night?” she asked him after he came out of the bathroom again.

“Y—You didn’t come by, did you?” his face turned reddish.

She gave him a deadpan stare. “Xiaoshi, you were gone past midnight. Considering how often you’ve nearly drowned yourself, I figured I should just go check up on you. Come to find you two all cuddled up and Lu Guang licking your face.”

“He—licking my face??” Xiaoshi touched his face with his hand.

“Like a dog.” she giggled, and Xiaoshi pushed her aside.

The drive was just as long as last time, except now with the added task of moving everything from the moving van into the apartment.

That is, Qiao Ling and the movers were moving everything from the van into the apartment. Xiaoshi stood irritably on the side, watching it all take place, having been disallowed from helping for fear of ripping his hand up again. The stitches were practically healed by now…

He stared down at his hand, tried to squeeze his fingers into a fist. It didn’t move.

He’d probably be useless even if he tried to help. The thought was frustrating.

But Qiao Ling walked over to him as he sat on the couch they’d brought into the place first, touched his shoulder and sat beside him. “I’m not doing anything either, don’t worry.”

“Mm.” Xiaoshi looked in the other direction.

“I’m serious, do you see these arms?” she rolled her sleeve up to show him. “I lifted three boxes in and I’m already tired.”

“At least you can lift boxes.” he bitterly said, after which Qiao Ling attacked him. She jumped onto him, forced his coat off, and rolled his sleeve up as far as it went. 

“Hey—” he shouted when Qiao Ling grabbed his bicep.

“Look at that!” he elbowed her off him. “And you’re complaining about not being strong.”

“I can’t breathe, Qiao Ling, I can’t even exercise it.” he elbowed her again, despite the fact she was already off of him.

“You’re such a downer to talk to, aren’t you?” she got up again. “Fine. I’ll bring in your art supplies next. You can keep yourself busy for the next week.”

“Thanks, love you.” he called after her in a very unconvincing, flat tone. It’s not like he hated himself, hated his life or anything, it was just a hindrance and an annoyance to him each time he was so blatantly confronted with his disabilities and the tasks he couldn’t perform because of them. Whenever his friends would talk about playing basketball together, whenever Lu Guang wanted to take him swimming, or more recently, whenever he needed two hands to do anything. It wasn’t a negative feeling, it wasn’t a positive feeling, he just felt somewhat empty thinking about it. Knowing he can’t do those things.

He probably did sound like a downer.

“Oh, Xiaoshi! Your stuff got lost in the move!” he heard Qiao Ling shout and snapped around. “Xiaoshi, your sketchbooks, your paintings, everything, it’s all gone! They lost all of your art supplies specifically and nothing else! Oh, what a nightmare! Oh, Xiaoshi!!” 

He let out the breath he’d been holding in upon hearing her tone revert to a joking one. “Can you not give me a heartattack right now?”

“All your photo albums!! Oh god!! We just got word, they were thrown overboard in the move!” she continued to chuckle as she dropped a heavy box next to Cheng Xiaoshi containing all his artwork. 

“Thanks, jie. Tell the movers we’re putting them out of business for losing all this.” he leaned down and started unpacking his sketchbooks.

“Oh, okay, I’ll do that.” she patted him on the back before leaving for the frontdoor again and meeting the movers on the way. Xiaoshi could hear her wholeheartedly thanking them for their help from the doorway. He chuckled.

In a couple months he’d start his semester at a nearby artschool. He supposed he should practice drawing and painting with his left hand so his works were up to standard by the time he got to there. He watched Qiao Ling and the movers head into her bedroom to set up her furniture. Hm.

He headed back out to the van, grabbed his easel from the back, and lifted it up to carry back upstairs. Once in the livingroom again, he placed it down by the window, then opened the blinds. 

He can't help anyways, so he didn’t have anything to do for the next few hours, so…

Xiaoshi grabbed his palette, grabbed his oilpaints, bit onto the caps to screw them off. He squeezed out the colours he thought he’d need, filled a small glass with linseed oil, then grabbed a canvas from the box Qiao Ling had handed him and struggled for a second to attach it properly to the easel. 

He grabbed a pencil and scribbled a quick composition onto it, his hand still being way too unstable to get a straight line out, but that’d come. He’d have more control over the paint.

Xiaoshi put all his stuff down, ran back out to the hall where he found his stool, which he quickly picked up and then set down before his canvas.

He tapped his brush into the oil, then used it to start mixing his pigments.

He painted the first brushstroke down onto the sheet.

(30x40cm oilpaint on canvas, painted by my left hand)

———

2 - Lu Guang

Lu Guang felt restless in the days Xiaoshi wouldn’t visit. He’d never had friends like this before; people he expected to see on a regular basis, people who wanted to meet him regularly.

He checked the time, the date, it was two cycles until their next meeting.

Tianxi sang something at him, and he returned to her side. She looked on the verge of tears, and…

Ah, right. Her hair. “Sorry.” Lu Guang said, taking the gold rings out of her hair and swimming briefly up to grab her hairbrush. She sat still as he untangled her hair of knots for her, gently, each movement intentional. His hand shook as he dragged it through her locks.

“♩♭.” she made a content sound, so he knew to stop. He redid her ornaments, swam up to the airbubble he took Xiaoshi sometimes—two cycles until Xiaoshi came back—and grabbed another ornament from his pile. He dashed back down and threaded the ornament into her hair. The more the better. She stared down at her wrists, which were empty, and Lu Guang quickly slid his bracelets from his arm onto hers. She smiled up at him, then nodded.

Suddenly feeling exposed, he swam back up to his collection to try and find new bracelets to wear. He couldn’t face Xiaoshi like this, with nothing adorning him. 

He snapped another two spare gold bracelets onto his wrist and felt safe again, then checked the time on his other wrist. Two cycles, or forty hours. Forty hours…

He kicked his tail in the water, then leaned forwards and squeezed himself together tightly.

Maybe he could surprise Xiaoshi. 

He rummaged through his collection again, trying to be as quiet as possible for Tianxi’s sake, but still needing to find something adequate.

Gold. He smiled when he grabbed the small ring. He clicked it open and closed again, then grabbed a needle and crawled back to the water. He checked what his reflection looked like as he held the ring up to his ear. Maybe higher…

He pricked himself, then slid the thin side of the ring through. Maybe another one. On the other side. To make it even. 

He went scouring again, but only found a smaller pendant in the shape of a plant. He didn’t think he had this type where he lived, but maybe Xiaoshi could tell him about it. He found an adequate spot on his left ear, pricked himself again, and slid the stud through.

He threw himself back into the water. The pain and bleeding both stopped at the moment he did, and he quickly swam over to Tianxi to get her opinion, but…

“Don’t—” he had to tug it out of her hands. “Don’t touch that. It’s not yours.” he quickly looked through the camera roll to make sure she hadn’t deleted anything, but she probably didn’t know how this thing worked well enough to do that. Thank god.

“♬♬♬?” she swam back around and stared at the device with him.

“You know what it is. It made the pictures. He gave it to me.” he pointed her in the direction of the framed photos on their cave wall beside the large painting.

“♬!” she exclaimed, but then her face morphed uncomfortably. 

“He’s forgiven you already.” Lu Guang sighed, touched her shoulder, watched her look up at him. “That doesn’t mean I have.”

She made a frightened sound and then quickly swam into his arms, hugging him tightly. Lu Guang tensed, then uncomfortably sighed out, and tried to accept the touch. It didn’t necessarily feel wrong when people touched him, he just wished he could see it coming. It must’ve been a condition, but he was always so irate when people grabbed him.

Regardless, he touched his hand to her back and watched her slowly move away. “Why don’t you take your swim around for the day?” he suggested, to which she fully let him go. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. “I’ll be waiting here when you get back.” he spoke before she could get anything out, and her mouth closed again.

She nodded her head, then swam out. Lu Guang swam to the entrance of the cave to watch her leave, make sure she was gone…

…maybe, by some miracle, Xiaoshi would be here forty hours early.

He swam as fast as humanly possible towards the coast, expecting something, anything, but the sand just tumbled in the wind when he got there. It was cold up here today…

Lu Guang swam around the entire coastline, checking for Xiaoshi anywhere, but it was obvious he wasn’t here. Ah, right. He picked his camera out of his bag and snapped a picture of Xiaoshi’s dock, then tried to send it to him, but…

‘Out of range’, the screen read. Was there a range? He—oh, cause Xiaoshi was still in…the other place right now. His other…home. Apartment. That’s the word. He thinks. He’s in the other…city, Nanqing. This is Guidu. They’re an hour apart by train. So he’s an hour away. An hour by train.

Lu Guang ran the calculations in his head, but he didn’t have a frame of reference to compare how fast walking was compared to trains.

Apartment. 

Lu Guang curled up underneath the dock like usual and shut his eyes. Maybe once he opened them again, Xiaoshi would be here…

In his dreams, Lu Guang was always alone. Even without Tianxi. Even without his parents and family. He was confronted with the thought that he ran away from home not just for her sake, but for his own as well. 

It was suffocating, trying to conform to what his people demanded of him. He didn’t understand what kind of things were and weren’t appropriate to say, he struggled to know just when people wanted and didn’t want to engage with him. He didn’t know how to present himself, the tone he should speak in, the mannerisms he should use when talking, the expressions his face should make, the proper wordchoice. Inappropriate. Appropriate. He didn’t know when to touch people and when not to. He didn’t know how to tell someone they shouldn’t try to touch him because his skin reacted like he’d been stung by an eel. 

He was scared of them. 

It’d hit him a couple years back that the reason he’d fled with Tianxi and had taken her in at all was because he was selfish. Because he saw himself in her as well. Because he was defective, just like she was. 

He awoke after the moon had risen. With a quick glance he could see that nobody had come to the beach. No one was there. Hopelessly, he tried to send Xiaoshi the pictures again, but the signal wouldn’t go through again. In fact, he didn’t know what he’d done, but the screen turned off, and stayed black after that no matter how many buttons he tried to press to get it back on. 

Fearfully, he checked the watch Xiaoshi had given him—the time. 

Tianxi. 

He sped back home, but it was too late. He could already hear cries coming from the cave when he arrived by the entrance. “Tianxi—”

She sang out as she cried. 

“I’m here. I’m sorry.” he approached her and grabbed her gently by her shoulders, then laid her down on the ground. He crouched over beside her. “I lost track of time, I’m sorry.” he expressed, but she kept crying, then hit him in the side. 

Another musical screech came out of her.

“...I haven’t abandoned you. I’m here for you. I promise.” he took her hand and already heard her cries lessening somewhat. 

When he broke Tianxi’s trust, she always grew even more terrified. He’d asked her once and she’d agreed that she’s reminded of when her own family abandoned her if Lu Guang isn’t there when she comes home. Lu Guang never wanted to make her feel like that, he swore…

Even if it wasn’t an excuse, he was so tired. Tianxi hadn’t gotten any worse in the years they’d spent in isolation, but she hadn’t gotten any better, either. He wished he could do something for her to lessen her fears, but all he could do was just conform to their routine and comfort her as much as possible in that way.

Sometimes it felt like the only thing he had were the two ‘weekend’ days that Xiaoshi came to visit him. 

He leaned down and hugged Tianxi tightly. 

He served Xiaoshi his camera first thing and asked him to get it working again, cause Lu Guang couldn’t figure out the issue. 

“Ah…” he nodded. “Batteries. Sorry, I’ll bring it back tomorrow with some new batteries in, how’s that?”

Batteries. What’s that?

“Oh, can I see the watch, too? It might also be close to dead.” he peeked at the thing, then pressed a few buttons, and… “Hm. I’ll bring some new batteries with for your watch as well.”

Lu Guang still didn’t understand, but he gently nodded. He sank down underwater. “Can you stay an extra day this time around?”

“Uhm…” he smiled. “I mean, it’s not mandated attendance, since it’s higher education, but I promised my friends I’d see them again Monday, and I super don’t wanna miss class, either.” he reached a hand down and ran it through Lu Guang’s hair. “Come on, you’ll wait for me, won’t you? I’m getting my art degree! Once I’m graduated, I’ll paint you a full mural, how’s that?” he chuckled. 

Lu Guang blinked a few times, stared blankly up at him.

“Oh, what, don’t like my art? Not up to your standards?” he grinned.

Lu Guang quickly shook and then nodded his head, fearful that he might’ve given Xiaoshi the wrong impression. He leapt up and grabbed Xiaoshi’s face in his hands, then dragged him slowly down into the water. “Cheng Xiaoshi?”

“Mm?” he pulled his mouth out of the water to breathe, but kept his ear turned to listen.

“After you graduate, what happens then?”

“Oh? Why, you excited? I get to join corporate life. It’s the greatest thing you can achieve. I work a nine-to-five for five days a week every week until I’m sixty. Fun, right?” he smiled, and Lu Guang couldn’t tell if he was serious. He shook his head. “...I’m joking. I’m clearly not excited.”

Oh, good. He tapped the water again, and Xiaoshi laid down on the dock, his ear submerged. “Why don’t we…uhm…” he felt nervous now that he was actually saying it.

Even after Lu Guang had changed his body to become female, Xiaoshi had insisted on wearing a…plastic, rubber…type of thing over himself, ensuring they never actually made contact. Xiaoshi had labeled it ‘protection’, but Lu Guang wasn’t sure about that. On top of all of that, after a few weeks Xiaoshi had requested he become male again. What was the point of all that?

He gulped, reframed his question in his head, and then continued speaking, “Why don’t you come live with me after you graduate?”

He heard a cough, then watched the blurry image of Xiaoshi sit up and use his inhaler. He popped his head out of the water to look at him. 

“Uhm…I mean, so that means…” another huff of air. “You wanna have kids…? And I won’t be able to live on land anymore…”

“♪♪♪…” Lu Guang cried out softly, sank back down into the water, and watched Xiaoshi lay down again. “What else will happen to us?”

“I’ll keep visiting you, I promise. Even boring nine-to-fives give you the weekend off.” he brought his arm up and rested. “We can still keep seeing each other every weekend.”

“I—” that isn’t enough. But he didn’t say that. Instead, he asked a question, cause he just genuinely wanted to understand, “How can you keep yourself away from me that long? How can you stand to spend even a second without me?”

“...huh?”

“I spend every hour, every minute, every second, every millisecond thinking about you.” he clutched onto the wood of the dock. “Why don’t you feel that way, too?”

Xiaoshi remained silent for a minute, and Lu Guang nervously peeked his head up again to check that he was listening. Their eyes met, and they stared at each other. Then Xiaoshi’s hand keeping him upright slipped, and his other failed to catch him. He fell onto his back and let out a grunt.

“Uhm—” he forced out a sharp breath, staring up at the sky, apparently not knowing how to say. It wasn’t possible that Xiaoshi didn’t love him at all, right? …right? “Oh!” he scrambled to his feet and quickly ran back onto the beach. Lu Guang watched him swing his right arm back and forth at him, his hand limply flapping along to motion him to come over.

Lu Guang exited the water, crawled onto the beach, felt the sting of the sunrays on his skin. He took a small breath as he limited his breathing. He laid beside Xiaoshi as he fumbled to get something from his bag. 

This was…a new sketchbook, but still a sketchbook. He thought he’d seen this one a couple times, but he’d never seen the contents. Xiaoshi flipped through a few pages privately, then passed the book onto Lu Guang, who set it down in the sand so he could look at it.

And…that was him. Oh. Xiaoshi had seemingly redrawn one of the photographs he’d taken of himself. He saw a small, printed version of that picture in the corner of the page, next to a larger drawn version. The…pencil, this was pencil. He remembered that.

He flipped through the next pages, viewing all the skillful images Xiaoshi had drawn of him, and slowly, the farther into the sketchbook he got, he realised that he was the only subject in this entire sketchbook. He found a couple drawings of the fish Lu Guang had photographed for him, a drawing or two of Tianxi and him together, but primarily just…him. His tail, his face, his body. 

Lu Guang got about halfway through until he coughed and wheezed, quickly abandoning the sketchbook to scurry back into the water. He felt refreshed plunging in, relaxing his body in the cool temperature, saving himself from the deathlaser that Xiaoshi’s body could somehow handle existing in.

Xiaoshi closed up the sketchbook, shook the sand off it, and then put it back into his bag. “Sorry, I’m probably not good with words, and I can’t really say it outright like you, but…I also spend a lot of time thinking about you, when I’ll next see you, and thinking about the two of us.” he started as he came back to lay on the dock. “I don’t know how to explain it, but you saved me. Er—well, also literally, but I mean more figuratively. Like, I didn’t think I could ever engage with that interest of mine, the ocean, ever again, but you helped me. I’m so glad I met you, and I promise you I’m better off for it.”

Lu Guang’s heart pounded in his chest as he listened to every word from Xiaoshi. He grabbed onto the wood with his hand, then pulled himself up and onto the dock, laying beside Xiaoshi, cause he loved staring at him like this. He turned his head into the water. “So we’ll stay together, then?” he smiled.

“I—uh…” he smiled back, but weaker. “I’ll always be with you. Just—if I…become like you, start living under the water, I’ll never be able to paint again, right? I wouldn’t be able to replace your camera’s batteries when they died, I wouldn’t be able to visit my friends, family…and, most importantly, I’d be ripping myself away from my sister. She doesn’t deserve that. She’s done too much for me to just get left behind after everything. I don’t think…I’m the type of person you’d want to live out the rest of your life with underwater.”

Lu Guang tried to process his words, cause it was all making his head dizzy. Xiaoshi did want him, but he also didn’t. “Why would you not be the right person…?” he decidedly fixated on. “It’s too late for that.”

“...too late?” he gave a confused, sympathetic glare.

“We—we already had sex together. Multiple times. We’re supposed to stay together for the rest of our lives now.” he explained to him, wondering just how in the world Xiaoshi wouldn’t know this.

“Y—” he sucked in a breath, then stared Lu Guang right in the eyes, his glare so intense that Lu Guang instinctually looked away. “Mer—uh, s—the…your…people, they…mate for life?” he turned entirely red.

“Uhm…yours don’t?” he asked, tone now a bit frightful. “I…I belong to you now, for the rest of my life.”

“Ah…” he broke eyecontact and fell onto his back. “I…that’s not, uh…really something we do aboveground. Most relationships people start don’t actually work out…”

Most…relationships don’t actually work out. Most relationships don’t work out. So, then, if he and Cheng Xiaoshi have an argument, and Xiaoshi doesn’t want him anymore, then…? He’d be alone for the rest of his life? The thought made him curl into himself and open his eyes widely as he felt tears forming. He sniffed as he started crying, and seemingly Xiaoshi regretted whatever he’d said.

“Hey—Lu Guang…” he felt a hand on his shoulder and shouted, prompting Xiaoshi to let him go again. Stop it. Stop scaring him away from you… he cried harder, and didn’t flinch again when the hand came back. “I—I didn’t mean that. We’ll stay together, I told you. It’s just a generalisation. There’s plenty of people I know who’ve been together for years and years and haven’t grown sick of each other. My ma and ba are in their sixties now and have been married for forty years. They love each other. There’s no reason we can’t stay together for that long, too.”

…sixty? “You live that long?” his voice was thin as he cried, and he wasn’t too sure Xiaoshi had heard him until he watched him lay back down beside him with a severe concern on his face.

“...how long is the lifespan of your people?” he asked in a very quiet voice, and Lu Guang frowned.

“Uh—maybe a hundred constellations? A hundred-ten at most…”

“Th—that’s a hundred days, right?” he sat up and quickly pulled out a device from his pocket, then started tapping it rapidly. After staring at the screen for a good few minutes, he took in a shuddered breath, then quickly reached for his inhaler again.

“♫♯?” Lu Guang sat up, wiping his eyes of tears as he stared at Xiaoshi’s screen with him. There was just the number ‘thirty’ on his screen, and somehow he was floored by it. What’s wrong with that?

“Sorry.” Xiaoshi turned his head down and Lu Guang saw that he was crying, too. “Uhm…sorry, you probably don’t want to think about that. I—I promise, I’ll be with you for the rest of your life.”

Lu Guang spent all of that night and a large part of the next day laid on that dock together with Xiaoshi, curled up onto him and holding him tightly. Xiaoshi was still naked, still winced every now and then when he moved his leg and apparently felt a sharp sting, but he told Lu Guang he felt great.

Xiaoshi kissed his cheek, and he felt that much more at peace again, as he allowed himself to drift off.

But Lu Guang had been having too many strange dreams lately. He woke up frightened on the beach with nobody there. No sight of Xiaoshi, no sight of his stuff. He was gone. The thought of returning to Tianxi hit him, but he didn’t want to see her right now, he wanted Xiaoshi. It was about time for her to be asleep, so he knew she wouldn’t miss him until morning anyways.

He waited by the docks, waited for Xiaoshi to return to him, but after an hour and a bit passed, he thought he might never come back. Lu Guang checked his watch, only for the light to turn off, the screen to die. That…oh, the ‘batteries’. 

Lu Guang noticed weird splotches on the surface of the water, and he swam up to check…

There was water falling from the sky. Lu Guang held his tongue out and tasted it, only to find it tasted just like the water of the ocean. Oh…

He crawled out onto the sand, and the lack of sunlight and presence of water made it so he could keep going, farther than he was used to. He used his elbows to crawl off the sand, onto a brown pathway. The brown was dirt. And, this, wood. Sticks. Lining the pathway. He’d never experienced or touched this in its natural state before.

He crawled ahead. Xiaoshi said it was a half hour to the shop. He checked the watch, but was met with a black screen. He kept crawling.

What he wasn’t used to when on land was the gravity dragging him down. As he tried to scurry along the dirt, his body felt so heavy, like he would sink into the ground any second now if it chose to swallow him. His arms were getting tired.

It had to have almost been a half-hour now, right? When did he make it out of the forest and to Xiaoshi’s place?

He wheezed when he reached a hard surface, not soft like the dirt. He flopped onto his back and shut his eyes in pain, resting his arms against the flat ground as he tried to recover his strength.

He looked around him, and…

Buildings. Trains. Cars. All the things Xiaoshi had told him about but he hadn’t gotten to see in person. He pulled himself down this new path made of stone, noting how his scales scraped against the rock, how it was agonising to him.

The water kept him going. He crawled farther down the road, seeing other people who looked like Xiaoshi staring down at him in horror. He tried his best to move faster. Get away from them.

There—he recognised it from a picture Xiaoshi had shown him. The photography shop he ran. His home. Lu Guang tried to drag himself farther down the path, but his arms had grown very tired, and the downpour was lessening. He pushed up and tried to keep going—all he had to really do was reach the entryway, then Xiaoshi would pull him inside and help him. Come on. 

He fell down onto the ground uselessly, his tail serving as a weight which did nothing but drag him down as he tried to go on. He was tired. The downpour stopped.

He’d die if he didn’t get farther now. It was just a little farther along the path.

Lu Guang used the last of his strength to just try and make it to his door, at least. If he could knock on the door, Xiaoshi would know he was there, and he would answer. If he could just knock—

A bright light shone in Lu Guang’s face all of a sudden, and he only then noticed something approaching him at lightningspeed. He suddenly felt weightless again as he was sent floating through the air, his body twirling painfully as he swore he’d heard some (most) of his bones cracking. He hit the ground again, unfortunately, with a splat, and he wasn’t sure just where that’d come from. He opened his mouth but found he couldn’t breathe. There was no water. He tried to choke for breath, but only felt blood flowing out of his mouth. Only heard screams as someone stepped out of the bright-lighted vehicle that’d rammed into him.

The moon stared down at him in his pitiful state.

“Lu Guang?” he heard a shaky voice, muffled, then— “Lu Guang!” 

He shot awake again, started choking, and quickly rolled off the dock and into the water. Fuck—fuck. What was that? What…

“Lu Guang?” he saw Xiaoshi’s face above the surface of the water. It was midnight. “Oh, you finally woke up. Hey, it’s late, so I’ll go home quickly to get you your batteries, and then I’ll head back to school in the morning.”

Lu Guang took a deep breath as he jumped out of the water again and back onto the dock. Xiaoshi was still naked, skin warm, expression off.

He clutched his arms around Xiaoshi’s neck and cried into his shoulder.

“...are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?”

Lu Guang shook his head. Then he pulled back and kissed Xiaoshi. Don’t leave. He tugged him back down into a laying position, curled himself back around him. “♬♬.” he softly sang in the hopes Xiaoshi would listen and fall asleep again.

“If you keep me here longer, I won’t have time to replace your batteries.”

Lu Guang nodded. That’s okay. Just stay with me another few minutes.

Xiaoshi’s arms wrapped around Lu Guang as well, his hand digging into his back as he held him. Lu Guang dug his head into Xiaoshi’s chest, made sure to hold him close as he felt his warmth. He’ll stay with me for the rest of my life, Lu Guang recited in his head, over and over again, just to assure himself. He’ll stay with me.

Lu Guang pressed a kiss to his sensitive neck, licked him, and then bit down.

fanart by @not_hilly on twitter/ tumblr

fanart by @Deko0Deko0 on twitter

fanart by @BeeepLettuce on twitter

fanart by @red-elk-arts on tumblr

fanart by @nocontrol0913 on tumblr/ twitter

fanart by @cartoonenby on tumblr

fanart by @mark-rbrta on tumblr

fanart by @CiciCustomz on twitter

fanart by @__eert on twitter

fanart by @vlennvalen on twitter

fanart by @stormwindt on bluesky

fanart by @henn-sama on bluesky

fanart by @zetsho on tumblr

fanart by @madloveagito on tumblr

fanart by @that-one-phile-who-loves-tinh on tumblr

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