Chapter Text
Cover:
The morning that rose on the city of Royal Woods was like many others.
For most people, this day wasn't anything but a simple Monday, just a day where young minds went to school.
And this wasn't different for a certain duo of people.
On a sidewalk, under the yellow sun, walked a young freckled boy who wore blue pants and an orange hoodie with a red shirt with a spade beneath. The boy also wore a necklace around his neck with a sharp black rock as a pendant, but it was his white, pale hair that stood out amidst the crowd. But the color wasn't the only thing that made him stand out.
"So, Luz, are you gonna tell me what you planned to our book report or what?" the boy asked curiously, his long white hair kept in a single thick braid that had a tip that almost brushed the ground, swinging on his back. "You insisted in doing it for both of us, but don't gave any hint at what you are planning."
(Lincoln's current appearence.)
Beside the boy was the person with whom he was talking. It was a girl that seemed the same age as him, with tanned skin and short brown hair. The girl wore a purple and white shirt with a cat-eared hood and jeans shorts.
"Well, I don't wanna spoil the surprise," Luz chirped with a bright smile on her face, each step that she gave having a skip. "But trust me, Lincoln, it will be a mind-blower!"
Between the young duo, their joined hands swung back and forth in the air as they walked closer to their destination.
Lincoln's lips formed a thin line, his freckled face furrowing in worry, like he was unsure of what Luz implied. "Yeah... Just... don't complicate things too much, okay?" he asked, adjusting the strap of his messenger bag. "I think we are already reaching the inspector's limit, and I don't want to see what he's actually capable of..."
In response, Luz only puffed her chest, her stride turning more confident. "Do not fear, Sunshine. My presentation will be so good that even that grumpy inspector will approve it!"
Lincoln's face flushed a shade of red as Luz called him 'sunshine,' trying to use his free hand to hide his face from the few people walking on the road.
"Luz, I told you to not call me that in public," he hissed. But Luz only gave a chuckle, finding his reaction amusing.
"Hehehe, sorry, sorry, but trust me with this, Linc. I have it all under complete control," Luz said, giving a small mischievous and ominous chuckle. And without Lincoln's notice, Luz's backpack twitched, like something was moving inside of it.
"You know that I'll always trust you, Luz," Lincoln said, like it should be obvious. His reply making the girl blush faintly, too.
The flow of people then began to thicken as they approached their destination, Royal Woods High School, the crowd of students arriving and entering the building, all of them laughing or chatting with friends.
Luz and Lincoln were climbing the stairs, about to reach the school doors, but suddenly, their paths were blocked by another body.
The person who blocked the teens' way was an old and bald man, his head looking to reflect the sun and blind temporarily anyone who looked directly at it. He wore a grey, sharp suit and tie. His face looked stuck in a permanent frown—the kind of expression that suggested he had never once enjoyed a cupcake in his entire life.
Meanwhile, the students continued to walk inside the school by the other doors, like they already had seen this scene too many times.
"Mr. Evil!" Lincoln squeaked, his voice going up an octave, but he coughed into his free hand, recomposing himself. "Eh, I mean, good morning, sir."
"What's up, Mr. E?" Luz chirped, greeting the man with energy higher than Lincoln. The old man frowning at the nickname.
"Mr. Loud, Ms. Noceda," the man drily greeted them back, his eyes traveling down Lincoln's hair length. "I see you’ve ignored my recommendation regarding your hair, Mr. Loud. It remains a flagrant disregard for school grooming standards and a textbook definition of an 'unregulated obstruction'."
Lincoln grew nervous at this, not knowing how to explain that he literally can't cut his hair, even if he tries.
"With all respect, sir, but my sister already said the reasons and that–"
"What your seven-year-old sister says doesn't matter, Mr. Loud. What matters is that the school keeps its standards," the inspector interrupted.
Luz now frowned at the inspector, indignant at how he could talk like this to them. Lincoln wanted to say a piece of his mind to the man himself, but he bited his bottom lips and refrained from doing so to avoid causing more problems than he already had.
The inspector's eyes then landed on their joined hands. Luz and Lincoln tightened their grip, like they felt his gaze. "And this public demonstration of affection is unnecessary and distracting; I ask you to let it go."
"Oh, come on," Luz groaned, not hiding how those rules bothered her. "I saw many other couples do more than this in front of your face and you never said anything."
The inspector then leaned forward, his face approaching Luz with squinted eyes, making the girl nervously recoil slightly.
"The 'other students' are not currently under my 'Special Observation' list, Miss Noceda. You and Mr. Loud, however, have a file big enough to be a carpet," he said threateningly, leaning out and going back to stand normally. "Now, separate,"
Lincoln and Luz then slowly let go of each other's hands, not having any other choice beside comply.
"Good." The inspector then side-stepped to give space to let them walk, the two teens hurrying up inside. "And remember, I am always watching..."
Luz and Lincoln kept walking in the halls as the school door slowly closed behind them. When they finally heard the sound of the door closing, Luz turned around, sticking her tongue out at the door.
"Bleh! Who does he think he is?" Luz indignantly said, walking beside Lincoln. "Really, looks like he is allergic to happiness."
"Don't you tell me," Lincoln sighed tiredly, running his hand through his hair. "I feel like he feeds from others' misery."
"Our misery specifically," Luz corrected.
Luz and Lincoln then kept walking until they got to a hall that was divided to the left and to the right.
"Lincoln! Luz!" a male voice called them in the distance on the right, making them notice Clyde, an African-American boy with glasses and Lincoln's best friend, waving at them.
"Hey! Clyde!" Luz yelled, waving back at the boy.
"Well, I'll be going," Lincoln said, adjusting his bag and turning to walk toward the other boy's direction. "See you at the book report?"
"You know it!" Luz confirmed, winking and making finger guns. Lincoln chuckled before walking away.
"Now..." Luz whispered to herself, putting a finger on her chin, going in the opposite direction than Lincoln. "How does that growth ray work again?"
The silence in Principal Rivers’ office was heavy, broken only by the rhythmic tick-tick-tick of a wall clock that seemed to be mocking them.
Lincoln and Luz sat in a pair of chairs in front of the principal's table. Lincoln looked nervous, like he knew what he did wrong; meanwhile, Luz was the perfect face of innocence, like she was believing that as long as she kept smiling, they wouldn't make a big fuss of what she did.
Opposite them sat the "Council of Doom," as Luz had whispered earlier: Principal Rivers, who looked like she wanted nothing more than to disappear from that place; the Principal's assistant, Oliver; and the Inspector, Mr. Evil, who looked to be wearing a frown deeper than normal.
Beside the kids were two older women. The one beside Lincoln was a blonde, middle-aged woman who stood with her arms crossed and an exhausted expression, wearing a red-pink shirt and brown pants.
Beside Luz was another older woman, this one with dark skin and brown hair kept in a bun. The woman wore a blue veterinarian outfit, looking to have just got out her job just to be there. The woman stood with an arm over her chest, resting her head on her free hand, facing the two kids with some worry on her face.
Luz, having enough of this awkward silence, thought of breaking the ice. "Sooo... Did anyone liked my book report?"
"Two words: Giant. Snake." Oliver, the principal's assistant, deadpanned.
"I know, pretty accurate, right? I mean, it was smaller than in the original, but I still think that–"
"Luz!" Camila interrupted, making Luz flinch. "A giant snake?! In the middle of the classroom?!"
"I swear that was all under control!" Luz blurted out, waving her hands frantically. "The people screaming only scared it a bit, but I could have solved it any moment! I swear!"
Camila then sighed, picking up Luz's backpack and pulling out a white 'baton' from inside. "And what would you do with this?" Camila then pressed a button on the side of the cylinder, making it extend and transform into a replica of Azura's staff.
"It was for the grand finale!" Luz chirped, looking in ecstasy at seeing it in front of her. "I had to beg Lisa to make it; I even had to give my appendix!"
"Your what?" Camila asked, wondering if she heard it right.
Meanwhile, Rita only rubbed her eyes, thinking that now she'll need to talk with Lisa too.
The Inspector, tired of the back and forth, slammed his hand on the principal's table, making Rivers jump in fear, her purple bandana almost leaving her head.
"We are getting off track," the Inspector said with a final tone, his voice cutting through the room like a blade. He stepped forward, the floorboards groaning under his polished shoes. "This isn't just about a 'book report' involving unsupervised biotech and public endangerment."
"This is about a pattern that has extended since elementary school. Destruction of school property, inciting a riot in the cafeteria, and the constant, pathological inability to live in the real world like normal persons."
The inspector then turned his gaze toward the mothers. Rita wasn't sure, but she felt like he was judging her more.
"These two are a toxic influence to each other. They encourage these delusions. Look at them," he gestured to Lincoln’s hair. "One refuses to adhere to basic hygiene and standards." He then gestured to Luz and the staff in Camila's hand. "And the other thinks she’s a fictional sorceress. They are dragging this school down with them."
"Now hold on," Rita stepped forward, her voice sharpening as her protective motherly instincts kicked in. "My son’s hair is a complicated situation that we have no control over, and while I agree the snake was a bit... too much... using 'toxic' is a very strong word to refer to their relationship."
"Is it?" The Inspector asked, lifting an eyebrow and pulling out two folders and sliding them across the desk, one being bigger than the other. "Because I believe that no other kids have caused so much trouble as those two."
Lincoln then gave a small peek at his folder, which was the bigger one, seeing how many problems were on his record.
"Yeah..." Lincoln muttered, looking at his file. "I guess I remember some of that..."
"I believe that this behavior has reached its expiration date," Mr. Evil said. He stepped toward the parents, his voice dropping into a tone that was terrifyingly reasonable. "Ms. Loud, Ms. Noceda. You are good mothers, and I know you love your kids. But you are enabling a delusion. It is time for these two to put their feet on the ground. They need to learn that the world is not a fantasy novel. It is a place of rules, schedules, and reality."
Rita frowned. She didn't like the man's tone—she never liked people who talked down to her kids—but she looked at the big folder of Lincoln record, making her sigh heavily and her voice drop to a tired tone. "What are you suggesting, Mr. Evil?"
The Inspector reached into his suit jacket and pulled out two identical flyers, giving one to Rita and Camila.
Reality Check Summer Camp: Think Inside the Box.
the cover read, showing a young boy stuck inside a box with a big smile and a thumbs up.
"Three months," the Inspector explained. "No fantasy. No 'experiments.' No abnormally long braids. Just focus, discipline, and the realization that being 'normal' is the only way to succeed in the real world."
Lincoln gulped nervously, wondering how the camp instructors will react when they try to cut his hair and fail misserably.
"And... what if we... don't want to go?" Lincoln slowly asked.
The Inspector leaned in, a thin, cold grin stretching across his face.
"Then I will have no choice but to recommend immediate expulsion for both of you," he said threateningly, making both Lincoln's and Luz's blood run cold. "And given your history, I doubt any other school in the state—no, the country—will take the risk of enrolling you two."
"W-wait a second, Mr. Evil," Principal Rivers chimed in, a rare spark of bravery appearing. "Don't you think that's a bit too much? I mean, I think we can solve this and–"
"My work is to make the best and most safe school possible, Principal Rivers," Mr. Evil interrupted. "And I say that the best way to do it is reforming the most problematic students."
"You can't do that!" Luz shouted, standing up and making her chair shriek on the ground. "That’s... that’s blackmail!"
"It is 'Administrative Intervention,' Ms. Noceda," the Inspector replied smoothly. "The time of you two getting away with 'fixing' the messes you cause is over. You aren't heroes. You’re just childrens. Childrens who don't know where the story ends."
Lincoln and Luz felt their faces fall at Mr. Evil's words, like they had just been slapped on the face.
Camila then stepped up, her protective motherly instincts finally boiling over. "Now, wait just a minute. Lincoln and Luz might be... unconventional, but you talk like they are some kind of super criminals. They are good kids and their quirks are what make them... them." She said, not liking someone looking down at her daughter when she had finally found somewhere and people that accepted her as she is.
"And they will still be them," the inspector said. "But they'll be a better version of themselves." He said, making the kids and the adults frown at him.
"If you truly care about their future, you will give them the chance to be normal. Believe me... this will be the best thing for them. The sooner they learn the harsh truth of the world, the better. I can confirm the camp works. After all..." He straightened his tie with a lifeless smile on his face. "I attended it myself. And look at me now."
Lincoln and Luz traded a long, horrified glance. Looking at the Inspector—a man who seemed to have the personality of a brick wall and the warmth of a refrigerator—was the worst advertisement for a summer camp they had ever seen.
Summer break would normally be a time where kids of all ages would be in ecstasy to enjoy three months of freedom from school.
But for the first time in a long time, it wasn't true for two specific people.
It was finally the day for Luz and Lincoln to leave for their new home for the next three months, but they decided that before the bus came to pick them up, they would have a 'last date' in Royal Woods before the nightmare begins.
Both 14-year-olds now sat quietly under the shadow of an oak tree, in a place that was kind of isolated from the park. Luz read a copy of The Good Witch Azura, but she didn't look so focused on the words as she normally would be.
"Hey, Lincoln," Luz called the white-haired boy who was playing a portable game, his braid laying beside him on the grass.
"Hm?"
"You... think that he was right?" Luz asked, still not tearing her gaze from the book.
"Who was right about what?" Lincoln asked, still pressing the buttons of his game.
"The inspector; you think he was right?" Luz asked louder, now turning to look at Lincoln. "That I crossed the line and that we need to be... fixed?"
The question made Lincoln pause his game to pay complete attention to Luz.
The albino avoided his eyes for a second before replying. "Well... I admit that you went overboard. And sincerely, from now on I'll prohibit you from doing surprises or make plans without me," Lincoln scolded, making Luz pout. "But... it's like Camila said, that's what makes you, you; and Camila, my family, and our friends and... me, love this you."
Luz then buried her face in her book, trying to hide her blush.
"Gosh, you're so corny, stop it now," she playfully muttered from behind her book. Lincoln laughed at her reaction but was still not done reassuring her.
"Also, if you stepped out of line, then my family broke the line, spat on it, and turned it into a jump rope," Lincoln joked, making Luz burst into laughter.
"Hahahaha! Yeah, I think that's true." Luz then stopped her laughing fit, now turning to Lincoln with a reinvigorated smile. "Well, at least I'll have you with me in that boring place, so... maybe that won't be so bad."
"Hey! Now who is being corny?" Lincoln joked, pushing Luz's shoulder softly, both laughing at their interaction.
Luz then put her book down and leaned closer to Lincoln.
"Together?" Luz asked, her cheeks heating a little.
"Always," Lincoln replied, also leaning closer.
Both then closed the distance, sharing a soft and quick kiss.
When they pulled apart, Lincoln glanced at his watch, checking the time. "We should probably head back. The bus leaves in an hour."
Luz sighed heavily and reached blindly for the spot where she’d placed her book. But her hand only hit empty grass.
"Wait... where is it?" Luz muttered, confusing Lincoln. She then turned around, seeing that her book actually had disappeared, her stomach dropping. "What?! But– it was right here!" She then scrambled to her feet, looking around the place frantically. "It's gone!"
Lincoln also got to his feet, looking around to try to help find the book. "This couldn't just disappear; this is a flat and clean area."
"I know, but where did it–" Luz then caught a movement in her peripheral vision, the girl turning and seeing a small owl holding a large, overflowing burlap sack in its beak, and perched precariously on top of the pile of junk was the purple cover of The Good Witch Azura.
The owl stared for only a second before opening its wings and flying away, surprisingly easily carrying the sack with items in its beak.
"Hey! That's mine! You tiny book thief!" Luz yelled angrily, grabbing her bag close to the tree and rushing to follow the owl that flew deeper into the forest where the park's maintained trails ended.
"Luz! Wait!" Lincoln yelled, grabbing his own bag and rushing to follow Luz, his braid swinging behind him as he ran.
The teens scrambled through the bushes, following the fluttering trail of the owl. The forest grew denser, the air turning cooler and smelling of old moss. They broke through a final line of trees and skidded to a halt.
In a clearing stood a house that looked like it had been built by someone who had only ever seen a house in a nightmare. It was slanted, wooden, and looked like it was held together by spit and ancient prayers.
"Wow... This looks worse than Mr. Bolhofner's shed," Lincoln commented, making Luz shudder with the memory.
"Urgh. Don't remind me of that, please."
The kids then saw the little owl currently hopping through the front door, which stood slightly ajar.
Lincoln and Luz then slowly approached the house, the old house's stairs groaning with their weight.
Luz then slowly opened the door, both teenagers sharing an unsure look before entering the old house, leaving the door open.
Without they notice, the door closed automatically behind them with a loud thud, and a golden glow illuminated the inside of the house.
When Luz and Lincoln entered the house, both expected to find the interior of an old house, Luz entering first.
"Now you won't escape me, you cute little– Whoa..." Luz began, only to have the air leave her lungs. Lincoln also gasping softly at the vision.
Both kids found themselves standing inside some kind of tent. The walls weren't wood; they were billowing fabric, and the space was filled with mountains of... stuffs.
Luz reached out and picked up a plastic clothes hanger. Attached to the bottom of it was a doll’s head fused to the body of a rubber lizard. "Wow. And I thought only Lisa had stuff weirder than me."
"But what is this place?" Lincoln wondered, looking around the tent.
When the albino turned to look behind him, he focused on the door that they had come through. The object looked very different from the previous door of a house falling into pieces, because this one looked almost new and had a big yellow eye on the front.
On the other side of the door, the albino saw the forest that they had come through, which confused him even more.
"What the..." he muttered to himself.
"Psst! Lincoln!" Luz hissed from what seemed to be the tent entry, calling his attention. "Check this out!"
Lincoln gave a last look back before momentarily forgetting about the door and jogging toward Luz, both looking at a small gap in the cloth.
Outside the tent, a woman was standing behind a table. She had a wild mane of grey hair that reached her waist, held back by a green bandana with yellow dots that covered her ears. She wore a tattered red dress and held a long wooden staff topped with a wooden statue of the very same owl that had stolen Luz's book.
"You won't believe it, but I just saw that woman turn that owl into wood!" Luz whispered, looking more impressed and excited than scared of this fact, a grin on her face. "Are you thinking the same as me?"
"If you are thinking that she's a witch, then yes, I am," Lincoln replied, nodding his head, also looking mesmerized with the vision of another possible witch beside Lucy.
The woman on the other side then grabbed the bag that the owl was carrying, running her hand inside of it.
"Now let's see..." The woman then pulled out a phone and tossed it aside. "Garbage." She then pulled out a golden ring with a diamond, also tossing it aside. "Garbage." The next was a golden glowing chalice that she also tossed away. "Garbage..."
The woman then gasped, picking up an item from inside the bag. "Now this!"
The item that she pulled out was a pair of groucho glasses with a big nose and a big and thick mustache and eyebrows, something that surely would belong to Luan.
The woman then put the glasses on her face, acting like she found a pile of gold. "This will make me rich!"
Luz and Lincoln couldn't hold it. Seeing a full-grown woman act like she found the most valuable item ever in a pair of funny glasses made them giggle.
But unfortunately, their laugh gave them away, the woman turning her sharp golden eyes toward their direction while still wearing the funny glasses. The vision would be comical if it wasn't for the current situation.
"Who's there?!" she aggressively asked, not looking to like that someone apparently was on her property without permission.
Both kids realized their mistake immediately, their stomachs dropping and both stopping laughing in the same second.
Lincoln, thinking that staying there was not an option anymore, grabbed Luz's wrist.
"Let's go!" Lincoln whispered, pulling the girl toward that weird door again. The younger Noceda following him in fear.
While running toward the door, Luz suddenly gasped, remembering why she was there in the first place.
"Wait! My book!" she yelled, forcing Lincoln to stop. "We can't go without it!"
Lincoln wanted to say that they could buy another one, or that he could give his to her. But he knew why those specific books mattered so much to her, and that she wouldn't accept letting a single one behind.
"Fffiine!" Lincoln whispered, changing their route and dragging Luz behind a pile of random items.
"Sshhh!" Lincoln sushed, putting a finger in front of his mouth.
The two kids then could hear as the woman walked inside the tent, her heels clicking at each step on the ground.
"Come on out~ I know you're there~" the woman called playfully, but her voice still displayed that sharp, dangerous edge.
Lincoln and Luz peeked their heads out of their hideout, seeing the lady walking slowly while holding her staff with two hands, like it was a weapon and she was a predator looking for defenseless preys.
The woman then saw the bizarre door and approached it, removing her funny glasses and tossing them in a random direction.
"Huh, I always forget to close this." The woman then put her hand inside her hair, pulling out a weird key with an eye and pressed the key's 'eye,' making the door close and fold itself until it became some kind of suitcase before Lincoln's and Luz's eyes.
Luz gasped softly at the vision, her stomach dropping to her feet once again. "Our way out!" she whispered, still trying to be quiet.
But it seems that the woman managed to hear it.
"There you are..." the old lady said with a predatory grin, turning toward the kids' direction.
Both kids simply hid back behind the pile.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! What do we do?" Luz asked desperately as she heard the steps slowly approach.
Lincoln nervously looked around and analyzed their situation, trying to find a way out. The woman was approaching them, which was bad, and they couldn't leave without her noticing and catching them, which was worse.
Lincoln's eyes then landed on another giant pile of items close to the woman, and an idea flashed in his head.
"Don't worry, I got this," Lincoln whispered to Luz.
He quickly untied his very long hair, removing the hair band and shaking his head, making the full length of its now 20 meters show. Luz could only observe as the albino got some of the hair in his hands.
Lincoln then used the hair like a makeshift lasso, making it tie on a random object on the pile close to the woman.
"Huh?" the woman blinked as some kind of white blur flashed past her face.
Lincoln then yanked his hair, using a lot of strength.
When the woman turned to look at where the rope was going, it was too late to her fully process the situation. just seeing the pile fall toward her direction.
"WHOAH!" the woman's scream was quickly interrupted as the objects fell upon her.
"Oh my– Lincoln! You crushed her!" Luz exclaimed exasperatedly.
But a muffled groan from beneath the pile showed that the woman was fine.
"Oh, wait, she's alive," Luz said simply, her concern quickly forgotten.
"Let's get out of here," Lincoln rushedly whispered to Luz, both kids quickly getting out of the tent at the main entry, Lincoln's hair dragging behind them as a river of silk.
They burst out into the sunlight and found themselves behind the woman’s table. The bag of itens sitting right there in the counter.
Luz quickly went toward the bag's direction, looking for her book inside of it. "Come on... come on... found it!" she cheered, pulling her copy of Good Witch Azura from the bag.
"Eh... Luz?" Luz could hear Lincoln nervously calling her, making her look up at him, but Lincoln was not looking at her; he was looking forward with wide eyes. "You might like to take a look at this."
Luz then turned her vision toward the scenario, and the vision made her gasp loudly.
The scenario in front of them could only be described as out of this world. It looked like a normal fair at first, but instead of people, there were beings so bizarre that they thought they could only exist in books or dreams.
Beings that looked like demons, beings that looked like cute and inoffensive fairies, monsters that seemed to come out from eldritch horror, and more.
A three-eyed creature walked by carrying a tray of screaming cupcakes. A giant blue demon was arguing with a tiny, winged imp over the price of a shrunken head.
"Ay. Dios. Mio." Luz couldn't help but mutter as she took in the view, hugging her book close to her chest, her eyes as wide as dinner plates. "Am I dreaming? Or worse, we died?! And we are in the bad place?..."
"If we are dead, our moms are gonna kill us..." Lincoln muttered, also stunned with the view before him.
Lincoln and Luz then felt a hand fall on both their shoulders, the action making them flinch instantly and slowly look ove their shoulders. The vision making their blood run cold and their hearts stop.
Behind them, with just some small scratches for someone who was crushed by a lot of not-light objects, was that same old lady, looking at them with a serious look, making them inwardly wish to see her funny side again.
"Believe me, you'll wish to be dead..." the woman replied threateningly to Luz's and Lincoln's question.
Both Lincoln and Luz were brutally shoved toward a pair of stools, both looking up at the woman before them like she held their lives in her hands. Lincoln still had his hair loose, which now snaked across the dusty ground in every direction, looking like a giant, confused spiderweb.
"Please don't hurt us!" Luz yelled, closing her eyes and holding her book up as if it was a shield that could protect her from the woman. "We didn't mean to invade your tent! I- I just wanted my book back! Please don't eat us!"
"And I am really sorry about dropping a pile of junk on you!" Lincoln blurted out, also recoiling to try to look smaller, trying to avoid the fury of an angry possible witch. "It was something from the moment, and–"
"Can you two stop?" the woman interrupted, looking bothered with the kids' rapid speech. "I won't hurt you, geez."
Luz then opened one of her eyes. "You won't?" she squeaked nervously.
"No, I won't," the woman confirmed. "After all, why would I hurt..." The woman trailed off, and then perked up, showing a smile that showed her single, pointy golden fang. "Two potential customers?"
Luz and Lincoln then finally lowered their guard, looking surprised with the sudden mood change. Both then finally gave a good look at the woman's stand, seeing a sign written 'Human Collectibles' and shelves filled with random items.
"So... aren't you mad?" Lincoln asked slowly. "For... you know, the whole 'Invading your tent' and 'being buried under junk' thing?"
"Oh, no, I am mad," the woman calmly said. But her tone still made the albino flinch. "But you can't pay me if you are dead, right, Q-tip?"
Lincoln looked at Luz, silently asking if she had any money, but Luz only slowly shook her head.
"You know, you are pretty hairy for a human," the woman observed, running her fingers through Lincoln's loose hair. Without anyone noticing, the hair seemed to react to the touch, a very faint and almost unnoticeable golden glow following the woman's hand.
Lincoln then tugged his hair back, removing it from the middle-aged woman's touch, not comfortable with some stranger touching it.
"It's... a long story," he said nervously.
"So I don't have time to hear," the woman said, quickly forgetting about the hair for the moment.
"Now tell me." The older woman called again, pulling an object from under her table. "Wouldn't you like a green human foot with holes?" she asked, putting a green Croc on the table, then pulling out a stick of men's deodorant. "A bar of green human candy?" The middle-aged woman then also put it aside, excitedly reaching for another item. "Oh, oh! How about this black shadow box that reflects only sadness?"
The woman then shoved a small portable TV toward Lincoln's and Luz's faces, the black screen reflecting their slightly surprised faces.
Both then realized that the woman definitely doesn't know about how any of that stuff actually works, both chuckling at the woman's behavior, who only looked confusedly at them, wondering what's so funny.
"That looks like a TV to me," Lincoln joked, wondering if the woman was joking.
"A what?" the woman asked, genuinely confused.
"Here, let me see it," Luz said, putting her book in her bag and grabbing the TV from the woman's hands, also grabbing two AA batteries from a dish labeled 'Human Candy'.
Luz then slipped the batteries inside the TV, pressing the power button.
The TV crackled to life instantly, showing a jazzercise video of a man from the 80s in a leotard along with loud music.
"Ew, doesn't this have another channel? This looks like my mother's exercise videos," Lincoln complained, making a face at the video. Sincerely, if that's all that the television shows, he can see why someone threw it out.
But the sound soon began to attract the attention of the monsters nearby, all wondering what was happening on the lady's stand.
"Huh?"
"What's that?"
"That sound—it's so alluring," a red, bipedal, pig-like creature said, ignoring the weird egg that he was about to buy from another seller.
In seconds, what before was an empty stand became crowded with diverse monsters and demons, all impressed with the TV.
"I'll pay 40 snails for the screaming box!" a monster yelled, lifting some green bills in the air.
"I'll give you a hundred!" another monster made their own offer, also lifting green bills in the air.
"Can I eat the tiny person inside?" the red pig-like monster asked, which weirded Lincoln out a little bit.
Soon the crowd began to erupt in offers and shouting, all interested in the weird shouting box.
The middle-aged woman with the green bandana stared at the crowd, never once having so many clients interested in a single object. She then looked at the two humans, giving a grin in their direction.
"Say, what were your names again?"
Luz was the first to present herself, her fear long forgotten. "I am Luz. Luz Noceda."
Lincoln followed suit, but still having some reservations about the woman and this weird new world.
"Lincoln Loud."
The woman then began to take the monsters' money, storing it all in her pockets. "Well, I must say, you two are really interesting... for a pair of humans," she teased.
"All right, I know that you probably aren't exactly normal, but why do you talk like you are not a human too?" Lincoln asked suspiciously, noticing how all the time the woman acted like they were from different species. Beside that, the fact that she didn't know what a TV was, which was pretty weird too.
"This, my dear snowflake, is because I am not like you two," the woman replied with a smirk, removing her green bandana and showing her pointy ears with gold earrings.
The woman then climbed up her table, presenting herself with arms wide, like she was a showwoman.
"I am Eda! The Owl Lady! The most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!" she shouted to the air over the crowd sound, like she was defying someone to deny that fact.
"So you really are a witch!" Luz gasped with a grin.
"Huh, weird. Lucy doesn't have pointy ears," Lincoln observed to himself.
Eda, looking like she hadn't heard the kids' commentaries, continued to brag about her status.
"I am a respected, feared—" As Eda continued to talk, but she was quickly interrupted when a big fist smashed and broke the portable TV.
"Busted!"
The fun and euphoria on Eda's stand was rapidly interrupted by a bulky-looking guy wearing grey clothes and a white cowl and a grey, cone-shaped mask that completely covered his face.
The crowd immediately began to scatter, running in all directions in panic.
"RUN! IT'S A GUARD!" a monster yelled in the middle of the screams.
Meanwhile, Lincoln and Luz dived behind the table to hide from the man, seeing that he probably meant trouble. The guard didn't noticing the kids' presence or the abnormally long white hair still scattered on the ground.
Eda then hopped down from her table, facing the guard.
The masked man then lifted a paper that showed a drawing of Eda along with some small wolf-like creature with half of it's head being a skull and with a pair of horns, one of them cut in half. Above the drawing was written 'Wanted' and beneath the drawing showed a reward.
"Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted for misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors," the guard announced.
Luz and Lincoln, who peeked from their hidden place, watched all with interest.
"A criminal witch?" Lincoln whisperingly repeated, looking more surprised than scared with the reveal. "Okay, that's new."
"I know, right?" Luz whispered back, looking to be finding it all amazing and impressive.
The guard, probably to avoid Eda escaping and to assert his authority, grabbed her whole arm with his big hands. "You are hereby ordered to come with me to the Conformatorium."
But Eda simply freed her arm, not liking how the guard talked to her. "Would you guys quit following me around? I haven't done squat," she said angrily.
The guard then got a glimpse of white on the ground, finally noticing the trail of pale hair, following it with his eyes until he spotted the two kids who were peeking over the table.
Luz and Lincoln, noticing that they got caught, made their hearts stop for a single second. Both quickly hidding behind the table again with a squeak, hoping for the guard to ignore them.
"You think that he saw us?" Luz whisper-asked to Lincoln.
She was quickly answered as a large pair of hands came down, grabbing her by her cat eared hood and Lincoln by the hair, making the albino wince in pain. "AH! Not the hair!"
Both soon were lifted into the air, Luz by her hood and Lincoln by his hair, the albino squirming from the sharp pain that he was feeling on his scalp.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Can you please be gentler?" Lincoln asked while squirmed, using his hands to try to release the man's hold on his hair. "I swear that we didn't do anything wrong! We don't even know her!"
"Don't try to resist, boy; I saw everything," the guard replied, lifting Lincoln until he was on his face level, making the albino feel more pain with the pull, his eyes watering slightly. "And for fraternizing with a criminal, you're coming too."
Luz saw Lincoln's face scrunch in pain, and something inside her snapped. The fear that she felt was gone, replaced by the protective fire and instincts that she got from hanging out with Lynn.
"Hey!" Luz angrily yelled, making the guard turn to look at her deep frowned face. "Stop hurting him!"
Luz then performed an action that was built on the pure need to protect Lincoln.
She drew her arm back and punched the guard right in the mask's nose with all her strength. It didn't seem to have much effect since Luz still had thin arms and the man had a bulky build, and sincerely, it hurt Luz more than the guard, but it was enough to make the man let go of the kids and stumble back while holding his nose.
"Argh! You brat!" the man grumbled.
Eda whistled, impressed by the girl's quick and protective response to her partner being hurt. "Fiery, I like it."
Eda then used this opportunity to get her staff and tap it on the ground, making a ripple of golden energy, and all her belongings and a green cloth to float in the air in a golden glow.
Luz and Lincoln, now that they were free, stared impressed at the display of magic in front of them.
"And I can't forget this," Eda said, reaching her hand inside her wild hair and pulling out that same weird key again and pressing the eye. That same suitcase with an eye came flying toward the other floating objects.
With a quick and simple movement of hands, Eda made the green cloth wrap around the objects, forming a green bundle that fell on the ground.
Eda then stuck her staff in the bundle and began to run away. "Follow me, humans."
Lincoln and Luz hesitated for a second, but seeing the guard begin to move and with a deep, angry frown on his face was enough to convince them that it was time to get out.
Both kids scrambled back to their feet, quickly trying to retrieve Lincoln's hair in a pile in both their arms while they ran.
"You know," Luz began, running beside Lincoln and panting slightly as they followed Eda among the fair stands. "this isn't so different from when you stolen and accidentally crashed Lola's car."
"Sorry to ask," Lincoln began, also panting slightly from running with a pile of his own hair in his arms. "but is the plan just to run? Because I think that won't work forever."
The sound of the guard following them, destroying some stands on the way, served to give credit to Lincoln's commentary.
"Don't worry, I still need you two alive, so I won't let you get hurt," Eda replied, a playful smirk playing on her face, as if she wasn't being chased by some kind of magical police officer.
"And what is that supposed—" Before Luz could finish her phrase, Eda grabbed her arm, making her let go of the pile of white hair that she carried.
"Better grab your hairy boyfriend!" Eda shouted, jumping and sitting on her staff, the owl statue coming to life and opening its wings. "WOO-HOO!"
Luz, with all the adrenaline, didn't questioned as she simply grabbed Lincoln's arm.
Suddenly, both Luz and Lincoln felt that they were yanked off the ground and felt a stomach-dropping feeling and wind blowing strongly on their faces, the sensation reminding them of when they flew on Lela for the first time.
"WOAAAAAH!"
The guard that chased them then skidded to a stop, seeing how the three of them flew away, having no way to follow them now.
"You won't get away with it, Owl Lady!" the guard yelled, shaking his arms to the skies. But at seeing that no one was hearing or paying attention to him, the guard dropped his arms. "Yeah, all right, you did... you got away with it. SHE GOT AWAY WITH IT, EVERYBODY!" the man yelled, frustrated, to the empty space of the fair.
The guard then walked away, knowing that he wouldn't be able to catch Eda today. "Typical."
Now on the sky, the three runaways flied smoothly among the clouds.
Luz and Lincoln had closed their eyes at first with the sudden motion and the G-force, but it didn't take long before they opened their eyes, feeling the wind hit their faces.
Luz gasped softly at the view beneath her, Lincoln also saying a stunned "Woah..."
Beneath them was a vision that they never had seen before. An island that, instead of being covered in green grass and trees and with normal animals, had trees with red leaves and orange grass, with creatures never once seen before, flying, crawling, or walking.
In the distance, there was also a row of giant white peaks that looked suspiciously like bones.
"Okay... that's definitively new," Lincoln muttered, his hair flowing in the wind like a white trail of a comet from his place on the end of the staff.
Of all the adventures that he already lived, he never really went to another dimension or world.
Time travel? Sure. Aliens? Once. Dragons, magic, and ghosts? He got used to seeing it once and again.
But flying on a wooden staff in a whole new world with a criminal witch? That's something else.
"And put 'new' into it," Luz agreed from between Lincoln and Eda, taking in the vision before her.
"Huh. You two look horribly okay with all of this," Eda commented, seeing how both humans looked more impressed than scared or panicking.
"Well, we have seen some weird things before," Luz clarified. "I think I speak for both of us when I say that we just want to know what exactly this place is," she said, gesturing to herself and the albino, Lincoln nodding his head along.
"Well, this is the Boiling Isles," Eda presented while some weird creatures passed flying close to them. "Every myth you humans have is caused by a little of our world leaking into yours."
A giant griffin then flew and shrieked close to the staff, the vision and the sound scaring Lincoln, who gave a startled yelp.
But Luz was growing amazed with the view and grabbing Lincoln's arm while her face kept grinning ear to ear. "A griffin!"
The griffin then opened its beak, releasing spiders from its mouth.
"I knew it! Griffins do have spider breath!" Luz squealed, pointing to the griffin while shaking Lincoln's arm. "Now Lisa owes me five bucks."
"Yep. Griffins, vampires, giraffes..." Eda confirmed, counting on her fingers some magical creatures.
"Giraffes?" Lincoln asked, wondering how could giraffes come from the Boiling Isles.
Eda then began to descend to the forest beneath them. "Oh, yeah. We banished those guys," she said, landing close to the ground and getting out of the staff. "Bunch of freaks." But without her notice, her hand got severed from her wrist, the limp still gripping on the staff.
"AAH!" Luz and Lincoln screamed at seeing the severed hand move, jumping out of the staff and falling on the ground. Lincoln even for a second wondered if he should use his healing powers and reveal his secret to this weird lady to try to help her.
"Oops." But the woman said, simply grabbing her hand and screwing it back in place like it was just a removable part, looking just annoyed that it had happened. "That happens sometimes."
Luz then got up from the ground, adjusting the strap of her messenger bag. "Ow, man, this surely isn't the PG fantasy world I always expected."
"Sincerely, Luz, has anything come as we expected? Like, ever?" Lincoln asked sarcastically with a small smirk, cleaning some dirt from his shoulder.
Luz gave some time to think on it, like she was looking for a positive answer, but she found none.
"Touché..."
Luz then sighed heavily, turning to look at Eda. "Look, Eda, we kinda already have a problem back home, so can you help us go back?"
Eda lowered her staff close to the side of Luz's head, startling the girl slightly.
Both Luz and Lincoln thought that now that they were away from witnesses, she would end them now.
But soon Eda showed a smile, clearly having fun with the humans' reactions. "Only if you two help me first!" The woman then began to walk away while chuckling, the green bundle floating behind her.
"What do you think?" Luz asked Lincoln, asking his opinion if they should follow the woman.
"Well, we have no other option, do we?" Lincoln replied, shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh! And don't think I forgot the pile that you made fall on me, Snowflake!" Eda yelled from the distance, making Lincoln flinch and Luz smirk amusedly at him.