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Tighnari is displeased.

His husband, his dedicated, loyal, hardworking husband, has abandoned him to go back to work because a few of his subordinates have such disappointing immune systems that they fall victim to the common cold and act like it's a death sentence. Instead of being here with Tighnari, where he's supposed to be when Tighnari is visiting Sumeru City, he's in his office. Doing work.

Is Tighnari being unreasonable? Certainly not. He took time out of his own busy schedule to come all the way to Sumeru City, just to see his husband, and now Cyno is interrupting that time (time that was supposed to be just for them) to go back to being the General Mahamatra. Tighnari can accept that his job is important, and that his husband is not at fault for his subordinates falling ill (not to mention just how many of them must have called out at once to necessitate Cyno himself being contacted), but still. He has a right to be annoyed, which he is.

So, perhaps he'll break into that little stash of… snacks he just so happened to bring with him. Cyno's not here, and Tighnari is both irritated and bored, and he does have something new in there he's been meaning to try.

This particular mushroom seems to share properties with most of Tighnari's favourite varieties, the ones that make him feel nice and mellow, if not a bit sleepy. He has high hopes for the effects of this newfound variety. Granted, Tighnari hasn't had the chance to properly test it out yet, but he's confirmed that it won't harm him, so he sees no issue with giving it a little taste while his husband has cruelly abandoned him to sitting in their house alone with nothing to do.

He takes the mushroom out of the case, turning it over a few times to inspect it for any lingering dirt or debris before downing it in a few bites, not bothering to do his usual routine of making it into a tasty dish. Tighnari's too annoyed to cook right now, he'd just end up setting something on fire. Although, he may get a few snacks together before the high sets in, just in case this is the kind that will make him hungry.

oOoOo

Cyno is having a terrible fucking day.

For starters, he's supposed to be at home right now, not sitting behind his desk rubbing his temples. He's supposed to be curled up in a little nest of blankets and pillows with his husband, not listening to this matra talk in circles about something that barely even has anything to do with Cyno and certainly doesn't require his personal attention. Tighnari came all the way from Gandharva Ville, managed to make a gap in his own packed schedule just to see Cyno, and now, Cyno's stuck doing this instead of spending time with his beloved.

"General, we're receiving reports of… sounds like a drunk and disorderly in the park by the Adventurer's Guild," another matra, Jalil, interrupts, cutting off the impossibly unproductive report he had just been sitting through. "Is anyone available to be sent for that?"

Cyno considers this for a moment. This sounds like the perfect opportunity to vent his frustrations about being stuck at work in a way that nobody can fault him for. "Yes. I'll handle it."

Both matra freeze.

"…General," says the one who had been talking in circles, very, very slowly, "are you… sure?"

"It's just that this doesn't seem like it requires… someone of your caliber, sir," Jalil continues. "To. To handle it personally, I mean. I'm sure one of us could—"

"No. I'll do it." Cyno rises from his desk, summoning his polearm as he heads for the door. "Return to your posts and consider the issue resolved."

The matra watch him leave with twin expressions of mounting horror, though Cyno can't imagine why. It's not like they have to deal with whoever is making a public nuisance of themself. Cyno will handle it all, and vent his frustrations while he does so. It all works out perfectly.

He's quick to make his way over to the aforementioned park, absentmindedly spinning his polearm as he walks. People are scrambling to get out of his way, for some reason. Cyno knows he has a terrifying reputation, but this feels silghtly more excessive than usual… perhaps he's letting a bit more of his irritation show on his face than he meant to. Well, whatever — he sees no reason to stop glaring when it perfectly encompasses how he feels right now. He's irritated, and he doesn't want to be here, and that's about to be somebody else's problem aside from his as soon as he finds his target.

And then he sees an interesting sight — a rather distinctive sight, draped over a bench and giggling at a pale yellow butterfly fluttering overhead.

Ah. So the publicly intoxicated nuisance… is Cyno's publicly intoxicated nuisance.

Tighnari is laying in front of him, in pajamas and (for some odd reason) a pair of dirt-covered gloves, though notably not a pair of shoes. His pupils are blown so wide that if Cyno didn't already know, he would have no idea what the colour of Tighnari's irises is. He is, undoubtedly, high out of his goddamn mind.

Unfortunately, he is also in the middle of the city, where he is very much not supposed to be high out of his mind, and it is technically Cyno's job to get him out of the public space until he's had enough time to sober up. Which… could be anywhere from an hour or two to a day or longer, depending on what exactly it was that he took.

"Tighnari," Cyno calls, crouching down beside him and nudging his shoulder with one gentle hand. "How high are you?"

Tighnari laughs, head lolling as he moves to look at Cyno. "Cy, you got it wrooong. It's…. hi, how are you."

He dissolves into a peal of giggles. Out of the corner of his eye, Cyno can see him kicking his feet. He would normally be immensely proud of that joke, except for the fact that Tighnari only made it because he's out of his gourd and will probably have absolutely no recollection of this exchange once he's back in his right mind.

"What exactly did you take?" Cyno tries, wondering if a more direct approach might get him the answer he needs.

Tighnari hums, watching the butterfly land on the leaves of a nearby bush. His gaze is irrevocably fixed on it. "Cy-noooo, didjyou know that butterflies drink blood sometimes?"

"Yes, Tighnari, I did know that. You told me. Did you eat a mushroom?"

"I like mushrooms, Cyno. Cyno. Cyno, I'm kinda hungry."

Cyno holds back an exasperated sigh. "We can get you food later, Nari. Can you tell me which mushroom it was that you ate?"

Tighnari lets out another hazy laugh, and does not respond.

Well, that tells Cyno nothing. Clearly, his husband is not in an answering mood right now. Ideally, Cyno would take him home and look after him until the effects of the mushroom wore off and he came down from the high, but… well, he kind of can't leave his job right now.

If not for the fact that they're understaffed, he could head home early, but if not for the fact that they're understaffed, Cyno wouldn't even be here. Thus, the catch-22: Cyno's options are either to call someone else to take Tighnari home and play trip-sitter, or bring him back to the holding cell that drunk and disorderlies are usually taken to when they can't be sent home for one reason or another.

Unfortunately, a quick run-through of their list of friends leaves Cyno coming up rather empty-handed. Collei is too far away (not to mention practically Tighnari's kid), while he knows Al-Haitham has the day off, he would probably laugh in his face, and Nilou is already at her wit's end with last-minute rehearsals for that new performance of hers. Kaveh might be an option, but Cyno knows he would run right out of a meeting he probably shouldn't, and that would only make his stress levels even worse. Anyone else who might be able to help is either in the desert or Gandharva Ville, and therefore much too far away to be of use right now.

So… to the drunk tank it is, then.

Oh, Tighnari is not going to like that. Cyno will have to employ a skill that, as General Mahamatra, he very rarely needs to use: diplomacy.

"Nari, can you sit up for me?" Cyno asks, and Tighnari narrows his eyes, making some kind of a pout. It doesn't work very well, given that his face is still kind of slack, but at least he's trying. "I know you don't want to, but just for a moment."

"Nnnoooooo," Tighnari drawls. He hasn't gotten too loud yet, but he does try to roll over onto his side so he's no longer facing Cyno. The only thing this achieves is Tighnari rolling right off the bench and landing in a heap on the ground, where he then proceeds to mush his face into the grass while still complaining. "Nnnnooooooooooooo."

Cyno grimaces, hopping over the bench and kneeling down beside his husband. "Tighnari, we need to get out of the middle of the park. Don't you want to go somewhere else?"

"Nooooooooo."

Out of the corner of his eye, Cyno can see two or three matra lurking at the edge of the park, obviously curious as to what's going on. Granted, he does usually handle these types of people by just bodily hauling them out of the public space and tossing them into the holding cell, but he's not going to do that to Tighnari. That's his husband. Not only would it be rude, but Cyno would end up banned from the bed for weeks afterward.

Hm. There might be a way to convince Tighnari to cooperate, but it would be wildly undignified. Luckily for Cyno, his reputation is fearsome enough that no one will believe those lurking matra if they even attempt to spread rumours about it.

"Nari, baby, the ground can't be comfortable." Cyno leans down, tone sweet enough that Tighnari's ears perk up at the sound. "Don't you wanna go somewhere a little more… private?"

Tighnari hums, turning his head to look at Cyno from under the curtain of his hair. There's a smudge of dirt on his cheek that Cyno absently reaches out to wipe away, earning himself a slow, deliberate blink. That's a good sign — it usually means that Tighnari is happy with him, at least, so it probably means that he'll be a little more cooperative right now.

"Do you want to get out of the park and go somewhere else, baby?" Cyno purrs, and to his surprise, Tighnari purrs back.

Like, actually purrs. Cyno's heard him do that before, of course, but not usually so… publicly. Or loudly.

He takes this as agreement, though, and Tighnari certainly doesn't protest (much less stop) when Cyno hauls him up off the ground and sets him on his feet again. He's a little unsteady, leaning on Cyno for support, but he's at least upright now. Cyno would be worried about his lack of shoes, but with those paw-pads of his, he should be fine. Besides, he always complains more when he's high, so if his feet start to hurt, Cyno will hear about it immediately.

Tighnari seems content to follow him back to the matras' headquarters, though he also doesn't seem to have noticed that there are about three matra surreptitiously following them. Cyno has no desire to acknowledge his audience as long as they continue to keep their mouths shut and not upset his husband.

Soon enough, they're inside the building, not that Tighnari seems aware of that either. If Cyno had to guess, Tighnari's barely even aware of his own ears, far too focused on staring at various parts of Cyno himself to really pay much attention to his surroundings. His tail is swishing back and forth contentedly, though, and he hasn't started complaining about anything — yet.

Cyno does expect that to change very, very soon, though.

He leads Tighnari to the holding cell (ignoring the many, many wide-eyed looks from his subordinates, who he's fairly certain are supposed to be patrolling right now and not attempting to spy on him) and nudges him inside, which goes smoothly with little protest. Tighnari does seem slightly confused by the door closing in between them, but for the most part, he seems fine to just sit down on one of the benches and watch Cyno through the bars as he heads for the door.

It's only once Cyno's out of his line of sight that Tighnari becomes… agitated. And by that, Cyno means that the second he shuts the door behind himself and leaves his husband's presence, his ears are immediately assaulted with the sound of someone shrieking absolute bloody murder from inside the holding cell.

Cyno opens the door in record time, looking in to see what's upset Tighnari so much, but the screaming stops the moment he's back within Tighnari's notice.

"Cynooooo," Tighnari wails, having already draped himself dramatically over the bench, "you abandoned me…"

"Nari, I have to go back to work," Cyno tries, grimacing when he sees Tighnari open his mouth to, presumably, start making that awful fox-shrieking noise again. "I can't stay in here with you the whole time. I have to do my job."

"Your job is stupid and you're stupid, and you're being so mean to meee," Tighnari complains. "Cy-nooo, you're supposed to be nice to me, why are you being a meaaaanie?"

Cyno sighs, but given the state of his subordinates right now, he just can't afford to leave so early. He shakes his head and exits the room, directing one of the nearby matra to take their place at the desk inside. Tighnari has unfortunately started up the shrieking again, but Cyno's sure he'll stop after a few minutes.

"Um, General," Jalil asks hesitantly, "is he… okay?"

"He's fine, he's just high out of his mind," Cyno replies dismissively. "It's your job to make sure nothing happens to him in there."

The last bit is directed to Nayab, the matra who's now going to be on duty guarding the holding cell, though Cyno may be popping in to check on things every so often. He trusts his matra, of course, but that doesn't mean he's just going to leave his poor husband to his subordinates like some kind of common criminal.

"Yes, General," says the assigned matra, looking like he's regretting his choice of career. Well, too bad — if Cyno has to deal with Tighnari getting high while he's at work, then so do his subordinates. This is what they get for making him come in on his day off.

Cyno takes a seat at his desk and continues to shift through the written reports left there (all of which should be below his pay grade, but the person who's meant to be dealing with them just so happens to be absent), all the while listening to his husband wail bloody murder in the background. He knew that foxes, and therefore Valuka Shuna, could make those kinds of sounds, but it's a rare occasion that he hears Tighnari do it.

He's barely gotten through the first three reports when a matra sidles up to his desk, looking rather uncomfortable. Cyno is fairly certain that her name is Nitya, though he hasn't had much chance to interact with her before now. "Um… General Mahamatra, we have a question."

Cyno raises an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

"Is there… anyone we could call for the, uh… the Valuka Shuna?" She asks hesitantly. "The one in the cells? Who seems… fairly upset with his situation? Can we contact someone to come and pick him up?"

'Fairly upset' is an understatement. "That would be my husband, meaning that unfortunately for all of us, I'm the one who you would be contacting."

Nitya stares at him, face some mix of shocked and aghast. "Your what."

Cyno frowns. "Your ears work, don't they? That is my husband, he's high out of his goddamn mind, and thanks to how short-staffed we are right now, he's going to be stuck right where he is until my shift is over, because the matra cannot afford for me to leave early and take him home."

Nitya opens and closes her mouth a few times before quickly nodding and heading for the door out of Cyno's office, presumably to ferry this information to all of her coworkers waiting outside for news. Cyno's sure they all think he hasn't noticed them, but they're not exactly subtle — given that it was largely the senior matra who called out, most of the ones currently here are newer, and therefore far less experienced. It's half of why it was so necessary for Cyno to come in — not only the understaffing, but the fact that all of their available staff were greener than Tighnari's Vision.

The wailing is still going on, since apparently Tighnari hasn't run out of steam yet. Cyno's honestly a little impressed. His matra, however, only seem to be getting more concerned. He can see them whispering to each other through the cracked door of his office, occasionally glancing in his direction in what they probably think is a surreptitious manner.

"Did you all need something or are you hovering around my doorway for fun?" Cyno asks drily, making all three of them jump.

The tallest of the three, Fahim, takes a hesitant step forward, glancing back at his fellows as he speaks for the group. "We, um… would like to know if the— the Valuka Shuna could be… calmed down at all. It's just, he sounds very distressed, General, and it's starting to become worrisome."

Cyno huffs. "He's too loud and none of you can focus."

The trio of matra nod.

"Fine. I'll see what I can do."

Cyno heads into the room with the holding cell once again, finding his husband sprawled on the floor in an ungainly heap while the matra on duty hides his face in his hands. As soon as Tighnari catches sight of him, he immediately stops and lets out a loud squeak, rolling lazily onto his side and reaching out his hands toward Cyno to make grabby gestures at him.

"Cynoooooo," he calls, "come heeeeere. C'meeere. Cyno, I'm bored. Coooome heeeere."

Cyno sighs, walking over to the bars and crouching down so he's closer to Tighnari's level.

Tighnari grins, showing off the sharp little fangs on either side of his mouth. "Hi."

"Hi, Tighnari," Cyno replies. "How are we feeling?"

Tighnari thinks about this for a moment, and then laughs. "Cyno, I'm bored. I wanna do something, Cyno. Cyno, you should… we should go on an adventure. We should do something."

"I have work, Nari. I can't go on an adventure with you right now."

"Laaaame."

Cyno wrinkles his nose, honestly a little offended at the thought of his husband finding him lame. If not for the fact that Tighnari is clearly still out of his gourd, Cyno might even be a little upset about that. "I still have a few more hours left of my shift. We can go on an adventure after that."

Tighnari pouts, pulling one of his ears down to cover his face. It only conceals one eye, though, leaving him free to glare at Cyno with the other. Given the fact that his pupils still take up half his eye, it's not very effective.

For a moment, Cyno simply waits to see what his husband is going to respond with, watching Tighnari's expression go through several different emotions as he clearly attempts to sort out some kind of decision. Eventually, he lets go of his ear and nods firmly to himself, having apparently reached his conclusion. He shuffles closer to Cyno, tail swishing against the floor as he looks up at him and blinks.

"Cy-nooo," Tighnari drawls, obviously trying to get his attention, "hey. Hey, Cyno. Cyno… are you… a mycelium network?"

Cyno blinks, mildly confused. "…Not to my knowledge, no."

"B'cause… you're connecting to every part of my heart."

Did Tighnari… just make a pun?!

Cyno's jaw drops. If not for the fact that Tighnari is still high out of his mind, he would be so incredibly proud. His husband actually made a pun. For him.

Unaware of Cyno's internal crisis, Tighnari snickers to himself, tail twitching behind him. "D'you get it, Cyno? 'Cause…. 'cause mycelium connections. 'Cause of mushroom. It's a mushroom joke, Cyno."

"Tighnari, I adore you," Cyno replies, tone absolutely dripping with fondness. "I'm still not letting you out, though."

His husband pouts again, thinking hard for a moment before attempting to groom his ears while surreptitiously glancing in Cyno's direction, almost like an invitation. It's an attempt instead of a success, though, because Tighnari somehow managed to forget that he was still wearing gardening gloves covered in dirt. What actually happened was that Tighnari went to lick the back of his hand, got a mouthful of soil, and then dramatically spat it out with a whine of displeasure.

"Cyno!" Tighnari wails. "The dirt!"

Cyno shakes his head, holding back the urge to laugh. It would be incredibly rude to laugh at his poor husband's misfortune, even if it's hilarious. "You licked soil, Nari, it's going to taste like dirt."

Tighnari apparently finds this utterly unacceptable, and proceeds to roll back over so his face is against the ground, letting out small sounds of complaint all the while. One of his ears is still pointed towards Cyno, though, so he can't be all that mad at him.

Cyno does kind of need to go back to work, though. Tighnari is acting pouty enough that Cyno can now justify getting up and walking away, even if he does see his husband's ear start twitching as it picks up the sound of his footsteps receding. As soon as Cyno gets to the door, Tighnari sits up (rather uncoordinatedly, he might add) and drapes himself against the bars of the cell, reaching one hand through the gaps to wave in Cyno's direction.

"Cyno. Cyno, waaaaiiiit," Tighnari calls weakly. "Guess what, Cyno. You're… cap-tivating."

Cyno pauses. This seems to be another attempt at flirting in order to coax him into letting Tighnari out of the holding cell, but Tighnari is also looking at him expectantly, like Cyno was supposed to do something else. "…Okay?"

"B'cause the mushrooms, Cyno," Tighnari insists, sounding exasperated. "The mushrooms. Mushroom… caps. That's you. You're mushroom cap…tivating."

He made another pun? Two in one night? Granted, he is higher than a kite, and the pun didn't make all that much sense, but Cyno is still torn between pride at the effort and disappointment that he still has to go back to his job regardless of how many attempts his husband makes to convince him otherwise.

At the desk, Nayab is watching with wide eyes, which Cyno does not appreciate. He gives the matra a withering look before turning on his heel and walking right back out, staunchly ignoring Tighnari's loud yip of protest from behind him. If he turns around, Tighnari might make another pun and tempt him again, and Cyno's heart simply can't take that today. He still has too much of his shift left tonight before he can carry his husband home.

As soon as the door closes, Tighnari predictably starts screaming again, and Cyno resists the urge to sigh. This is going to be one of the worst shifts of his life, if it isn't already.

oOoOo

Nayab hates his job.

Well, he hates this at least. Sitting at the desk overseeing the drunk tank is bad enough, but now the singular occupant of the cell won't stop fucking screaming, and Nayab is most certainly going to go deaf before the night is out. He can't even do anything to get the man to shut up, because apparently, this is the General Mahamatra's husband.

Also, the General Mahamatra is married. Nayab would be absolutely incapable of believing it if not for the fact that said General Mahamatra was the one to share that little tidbit with everyone.

But now, the marriage is being inflicted upon Nayab, and he is getting closer and closer to walking out of here and resigning on the spot. He won't, of course, this job pays way too well for that, but the urge persists nonetheless.

Perhaps there's something Nayab can do about this. He could… distract him, or something like that. The husband was named Tighnari, wasn't he? The name sounds familiar, although Nayab can't quite place where he knows it from. Both of those pickup lines had referenced mushrooms, as well, so maybe that could be how Nayab gets the guy's mind off of screaming over his husband and onto something a little quieter.

"Hey," he tries at first, finding himself utterly drowned out by the fox-shrieking coming from the detainee. "Hey, uh… it's Tighnari, right?"

The shrieking dies down in a few moments as the valuka shuna rolls his head toward Nayab, watching him with narrowed eyes. "And who's asking?"

"You like mushrooms, don't you?" Nayab asks hesitantly. "What's, uh… what's your favourite kind?"

Tighnari's eyes go wide, pupils blown to a startling size as he immediately straightens up. "I love mushrooms. Come here. Come over here. C'mon, c'mon."

Against Nayab's better judgement, his curiosity wins out, and he rises from his desk to approach the cell. He's careful to stay out of reach… or at least, he tries to.

Before he can even think of dodging, one of Tighnari's hands whips out from the bars with surprising speed and locks around the front of his shirt, yanking him up against the cold metal of the cell. He grins, just a little too wide, and Nayab feels an involuntary shiver go down his spine.

"You're gonna learn about mushrooms," Tighnari says gleefully.

(Outside of the room, Cyno notes that his husband's shrieking seems to have died down. He briefly wonders if he should be concerned, before deciding that it's more likely Tighnari has simply gotten bored, or screamed himself hoarse. Nayab will come and alert him if anything is wrong, anyways.)

Nayab tries multiple times, unsuccessfully, to free his shirt from Tighnari's grip — not that Tighnari even seems to notice. He's begun listing off what seems like every type of mushroom that can be found in Sumeru, along with exactly how toxic they would be if eaten.

"Sea ganoderma are not mushrooms," Tighnari informs him suddenly, giving him a small shake. When had sea ganoderma even become a part of the conversation? "Ganoderma's a mushroom, but a sea ganoderma's not a mushroom, 'cept it's called like it is a mushroom. It's confusing and it makes no sense. The sea ganoderma is a liiiiieee."

Nayab nods as though he understood all of that when Tighnari looks at him expectantly. This seems to satisfy him, thankfully, though not for very long as he immediately moves onto a new topic.

"Rukkhashava mushrooms are edible and you can sautee them to bring out the flavour's undertones. You have to season them. Season your food. Season your mushrooms. Cyno never seasons his mushrooms right because he's a heathen. He makes them spicy and ruins all the flavour. You can't taste any of the mushroom, it all… it's all just hot and evil and I hate it. Evil. Eeevil."

…The majority of Sumeru's cuisine is spicy, or at least has a bit of a kick. How has this man survived so long without building up at least some tolerance to it? Or… does he have a normal tolerance, and the General Mahamatra just adds so much spice that even his husband can't handle it?

Without any input from Nayab, Tighnari abruptly switches topics, eyes widening again as he yanks Nayab closer so that their faces are barely inches apart. "Mushrooms aren't actually mushrooms, you know."

"…Excuse me?" Nayab asks weakly.

"Mushrooms. That everyone picks all over… they're allll over. But they're not. They're supposed to be por-to-be-llos. Portobello mushrooms. But nobody calls 'em that, and everyone calls 'em mushrooms, 'n they are mushrooms, but not like that. They're their oooown mushrooms. Independent style."

Nayab looks around for anywhere to lay his eyes that isn't the face of the General Mahamatra's husband, and catches a glimpse of glowing green in the corner of his sight. There's a Sumeru Dendro Vision affixed to his clothing, shining faintly and swaying back and forth as its allogene shakes him yet again.

"I have more mushroom to tell you. You're not paying attention."

He forces his eyes away from Tighnari's Vision, but it comes a second too late. Tighnari has followed his gaze, and in doing so, has been reminded of the fact that the power of Dendro is his to command.

A moment later, a rukkhashava mushroom is being shoved in his face — no, two rukkhashava mushrooms. "Look. Look at it. This one is delicious and this one will give you hallucinations and vomiting for three days. Do you see them."

Nayab leans away from the literally identical mushrooms, nodding furiously. "Yes, I see them! I see them, what do you mean that one will cause— did you say hallucinations and vomiting?!"

Is he going to kill Nayab?! Does he need to be fearing for his life right now?

Tighnari's grin widens as he shoves the mushrooms closer, showing him one and then the other. "This one has yellow around the edges, but this one has orange. The orange is bad. You don't touch the orange. You got it? Do you understand?"

"Yes! Yes, I understand! Th-the orange is the bad one!"

Honestly, to Nayab, they look the same — but he's fully aware that trying to say that aloud will probably result in Tighnari attempting to feed the orange one to him. He seems a little too impassioned about poisonous mushrooms for Nayab to not fear for his safety right now.

The door behind him cracks open, although Tighnari doesn't seem to notice. Nayab surreptitiously glances over to see two of the younger matra, Nitya and Jalil, peeking through.

Help me, he mouths to them.

"You're not LISTENING," Tighnari states, shaking him again. "The mushrooms will kill you if you go into the woods… and you eat the mushrooms. Don't eat the mushrooms if you don't know the mushrooms. You don't know a fungi. You're going to die in the woods and the fungi are going to eat you."

Nitya inches inside and yanks Jalil in behind her before he can slip away. She's eyeing the pair of shrooms clutched in Tighnari's fist with a healthy amount of trepidation, gaze falling to the glow of his Dendro Vision a moment later.

"Should we… take that away from him?" Nitya mumbles to Jalil, who is really looking like he would rather be anywhere else right now. "He could use that to get out, couldn't he? I mean… I'm a little surprise he hasn't already tried."

"Maybe he hasn't thought of it?" Jalil whispers back.

"But, I mean, if he tries to use his Vision, we can't really do anything! That's General Watchleader Tighnari! We can't keep him contained!"

Ah. So that's why Nayab thought his name sounded familiar. Miraculously, Tighnari doesn't seem to have even noticed the presence of two more matra in the room, instead choosing to continually extoll Nayab with tales of exactly how one's body would rip itself apart from the inside out if they were to ingest one of the many mushrooms he keeps conjuring up with his Vision.

"General—" Jalil starts, cutting himself off as he pales. "Ohh, shit. And we're supposed to keep him in that cell?! Maybe we do need to take his Vision awa—"

"You will not."

All three matra jolt as they suddenly become aware of General Mahamatra Cyno's presence in the doorway, levelling a deadly glare at them from under his hood.

"Cyno!" Tighnari chirps, looking ecstatic. "Cyno, he wants to learn about mushrooms!"

He shakes Nayab yet again by the front of his shirt, and Nayab barely has time to collect himself before he's being unceremoniously dropped to the floor in favour of Tighnari reaching through the bars towards his husband.

"Nari, are you harassing that poor man with mushroom facts?" The General Mahamatra sighs, stepping past Nitya and Jalil without so much as a glance at anyone but his husband. "Please try not to traumatise my subordinates too badly. I assure you, they wouldn't be working as matra if they weren't well aware of what eating the wrong mushroom will do to them."

"That one doesn't know mushrooms," Tighnari grumbles, crossing his arms. "Cyno. Cyno, you should open the door."

"I still have work, Tighnari."

Tighnari considers this, dropping the mushrooms on the bench and shucking off one of his gloves to start grooming his ears. "Cynoooo… I'll let you pet my tail if you let me oooouuut."

To Nayab's horror, the General seems to legitimately be considering this for a moment before he shakes his head. "Not until my shift is over, Nari. You have to stay there and wait for me until then."

Tighnari is, predictably, rather displeased with this response, and makes that fact known by letting out a very long, loud groan as he tips his head back. Behind the General, Nitya locks eyes with Nayab and jerks her head toward the desk, and Nayab just barely manages to slip past his boss to meet her where she's standing.

"What? What?" Nayab asks, and Nitya glances over to where Tighnari is still draped against the bars, arms hanging through in a half-hearted attempt to reach his husband — who is now heading for the door again.

"He's just going to keep shrieking," Nitya points out. "And I, for one, don't think I can take much more."

"You're not the one that has to stay in the same room with him."

"Exactly," Nitya agrees, "so i'm sure you'll be very receptive to my solution."

oOoOo

Interestingly enough, Tighnari has not started shrieking again since Cyno exited the room with the holding cell.

Nayab had been doing a fine job of distracting him, at least until Cyno overheard their discussion of taking his husband's Vision away. Not only is such a thing wildly unethical, but it's completely unnecessary, given that Tighnari had only been using it to show off the different types of fungi — and besides, after the horror stories Cyno's gotten from Inazuma, he's simply not going to be taking chances on that, especially when it regards his husband. Even if it would only be for a couple hours, Cyno refuses to risk harming his husband even the tiniest bit by allowing his subordinates to confiscate his Vision.

Murder may be illegal, but if they truly did attempt to go through with that idea, Cyno would have found a way to make all of them regret it.

Cyno rests his elbows on his desk, bringing one hand up to rub at his temple beneath his hood. He's so fucking done with this shift. If it wouldn't mess things up for every other matra on duty right now, he would already be at home right now, wrapped around his husband and halfway to falling asleep.

In fact, Cyno is so absorbed in his misery that he barely even notices the person entering his office until he feels the weight press against his back and shoulders.

Cyno stiffens, slowly turning his head to peer at the audacious interloper around the edge of his hood. To his utter shock, it's Tighnari, face mushed into Cyno's collar and one ear pushed to the side. He looks incredibly pleased with himself, which does not make Cyno feel any better about how exactly he got here.

"Tighnari, why are you in my office?" Cyno asks pointedly, although when his husband's tail sweeps into his lap, he can't resist giving the soft fluff a few pets.

"Iiiiii got let out," Tighnari informs him proudly. He slides down Cyno's shoulder and practically drips into his lap, squirming a bit until he finds a position that's comfortable. Once he's still, he tucks his face against Cyno and starts to purr, clearly satisfied with where he's found himself.

Nitya is peeking into the doorway, and Cyno meets her gaze, raising one eyebrow questioningly.

"…He's very noisy, General," Nitya says, sounding contrite, "and he seems much happier here. We can handle the patrols and just bring any necessary paperwork here so you don't have to go anywhere."

"You are awfully audacious," Cyno informs her, letting her marinate in her growing nervousness for a few moments before he smiles — not too big, of course, she did still break the rules, but at least she had a good reason. "Luckily, I'm feeling particularly forgiving today. Return to your duties for the moment. Tighnari can stay here."

Nitya lets out a quiet sigh of relief as she exits, closing the door behind herself.

Well. Perhaps the remainder of Cyno's shift will be more bearable if his husband is napping in his lap the whole time.

Cyno does, in fact, get to stay at his desk for the rest of the evening. Tighnari doesn't move now that he's gotten what he wanted (which was, apparently, to nest in Cyno's lap), although he does take to poking at Cyno's chest at one point. When Cyno goes to move his hand away, Tighnari bites down on it, not hard enough to draw blood, but certainly enough that Cyno can't easily get his hand out of Tighnari's mouth again. It stays there for a while until Fahim enters with a handful of reports, catching sight of Tighnari's newfound chew toy and making an incredibly interesting face.

"Am I… interrupting something?" Fahim says faintly. Cyno shakes his head.

"Leave the reports in the designated stack and return to your patrol, Fahim," Cyno reminds him.

Fahim eyes Tighnari warily as he approaching, his own fingers twitching like he's expecting to be the next bitten. Unsurprisingly, though, he gets out of the room without any attempted bites. Tighnari is more than occupied with Cyno, and Cyno is perfectly capable of filling out paperwork with only one hand. No need to ruin his husband's fun.

By the time Cyno's shift is over, Tighnari is fast asleep, tail curled over his body like a blanket. Cyno scoops him up in a princess hold and carries him out of his office, heading straight home without another word. If his subordinates have any further issues that require a higher official, they had better not try to contact Cyno again. He is taking his husband home, and then he is going to bed. He's had more than enough of this day.

— — —

When Cyno wakes up the next morning, it's to Tighnari packing his bags.

"Nari, what are you doing?" He mumbles sleepily, blinking against the bright light coming in through the window. "What time s'it?"

"I have to leave Sumeru City and never come back," Tighnari informs him, sounding harried. "You have to come and visit me in Gandharva Ville now. I can never come here again."

Cyno sits up, the blanket sliding off of him as he squints at his husband. "…Huh?"

"I did not expect to be having an adventurous high, Cyno!" Tighnari yelps. "I thought I was going to lounge around your house eating snacks, not run off and do— do all of that in public! I got arrested!"

"Technically, you weren't really arrested, more just… cautioned," Cyno replies. "And I know all of that, I'm the one who brought you in."

Tighnari shoots him a disgruntled look. "And don't think I've forgotten about that, either."

Cyno grimaces. He's… probably going to get kicked onto the couch for a night or two, or at least, that's what he would be thinking if Tighnari weren't currently shoving all of his things into a bag like he's about to go on an expedition to the other end of Natlan. "I couldn't take you home, there were like, four matra left on staff and three of them were fresh out of training! And it's not like I could've called someone to pick you up — would you rather I called Al-Haitham or something?"

"No one will ever respect me again after seeing all— all that!"

"Please, your rangers have seen you high as a kite plenty of times and they're still terrified of you. My matra are just as scared, and they all know better than to gossip."

Cyno rises from the bed, leaning against Tighnari's shoulders as he takes the half-packed bag from his hands.

"Besides," he continues, "even if they were stupid enough to try and spread rumours, who's gonna believe them?"

Tighnari pauses, considering this. "That… is a fair point. I think I remember… taking a nap on you? In your office?"

"You did. You were chewing on my hand, too — who's gonna believe that the General Mahamatra let that happen, much less that it was Forest Watcher Tighnari doing it?"

"I suppose you're right," Tighnari sighs. "But I still want to go back to Gandharva Ville, and you should see if you can get more time off to come with me. They'd better let you have it, after interrupting your leave and demanding you come in on such short notice."

Cyno perks up at Tighnari's plans, excited by the idea of spending even more time off with his husband, only to frown a moment later as he continues onto the caveat.

"But don't think you get to sleep in the big bed with me, because I'm still mad you arrested me and put me in a holding cell to shriek bloody murder for an hour. You're sleeping in the guest room."

"…Fair enough."