Work Text:
Having extensive fantasies was a norm for most, it would humanize you more, in fact. To engage in dreams that would paint your bleak world in color was what kept most going, the stupor enough to keep people dreaming. To your extent however, society would not run if others engaged in it as much as you did.
Not many would say it affected their judgement either, but you could not say the same. In fact, it had taken far too long for the rose colored lenses to dim, to show you the vision to your future as clear and dull as it really was. You knew, deep down, that you no longer could afford the luxury to let it blind you any further.
Your eyes travelled to your watch as you snapped out of your stupor, watching the hands tick mechanically with trepidation. You had always backed out of taking action every time you saw just how much he adored you, but you couldn’t do it any longer. You had to think about yourself, and use the little strength you had to assert yourself once and for all.
Everytime you sought escape into your mind, the chime at the front door every few minutes would keep you grounded in reality. The bustling and lively cafe you were in reflected nothing of your current state, a juxtaposition to the serious expression on your face.
At last, you looked up for the umpteenth time at the sound, your lips parting slightly as you watched the handsome man in front of you meet your eyes and flash a grin, before heading your way.
“Look at my girl, all dolled up for her man.” he cooed at you as he sat down, fixing his eyes onto your cleavage as you subconsciously pulled your blouse up. Clearing your throat, he looked up at your eyes with a mischievous smile, his striking eyes knocking the breath out of you.
No matter how much time had passed, you could never seem to get used to how good looking he was, his eyes alone able to send you in a frenzy. The girls near you seemed to think so as well, feeling many pairs of envious eyes on the both of you. If there was anything else you weren’t able to get used to, it was the attention that Satoru seemed to garner effortlessly, regardless of your presence.
“You don’t need to act like such a pervert in public as well.” you huffed, looking flustered as your cheeks warmed. “What will other people think?”.
You watched as Satoru’s smile widened, his hands taking your own, tracing the lines on your palm with his fingers. “Checking my girl out is called being a pervert now?” he questioned, looking amused. “You’d need to put half the population behind bars if that were the case, sweetheart.”
A smile tugged at your lips as he questioned you, looking away he started teasing you for finally cracking a smile. “Here, it’s my treat today” you insisted, pushing the menu towards him. It was the least you could do for the disaster that was going to happen today, you thought to yourself.
Satoru always seemed to find great amusement in the fact that you’d insist on paying your share when you both had first started dating, calling you “cute” as he’d hand the checkbook towards the waiter with his card in it. However, he eventually settled for you paying for small things, you supposed he realized you weren’t going to give up. He’d always chide your stubbornness however, and asserted that things would change after marriage.
Your face twisted in slight distress as you repeated your purpose in your head for today, trying to stay focused and clear headed. You watched him as he looked at the menu intently, before ordering for the both of you with ease.
Seeing how Satoru was perfection in every regard, it would seem ridiculous you had even come here with the audacity to break his heart. You thought so too at first, however there was no feasible way you both could ever be together. Putting aside how he was too good for you, in looks, wealth, and talent, you couldn’t envision how your futures could be compatible.
When you had first started dating Satoru, bless him, he was the one who pursued you, you were too enamored and caught up in the fantasy to stop and think. You knew his job was quite important to society, although he had never exactly stated what his job was in the first place. You remember trying to ask him, only being met with a response that “it was far too dangerous”, and “not to worry your pretty head about it”.
You hadn’t thought much of it until he had tried to hide his injuries as well, until you saw him struggling and unbuttoned his shirt to see wounds all over him. From then on, did you realize the gravity of his job as he would go off the radar for long periods of time, constantly risking his life and escaping the brink of death. Faced with your vision for what marriage would be with a man who lived like that, and imagining having kids in such uncertainty, you couldn’t delude yourself any further.
As you were lost deep in thought, you felt his eyes burning into you as he inquired “My, aren’t you quiet today, sweetheart?” in an airy voice. “I might be better off talking to a wall.” he teased.
“No… No, I’m sorry” you chuckle politely as you lift your head back up to face him. You paused slightly, attempting to break the awkward silence as you queried “How’s work, Satoru?”
You watched as he hummed, his tips of his fingers drumming against the edge of the table as he murmured “Can’t say it’s been great, princess. Especially when I can’t look forward to seeing your messages to distract me during the day”.
You paused, looking dazed as you tried to think of what to say. While he said a mere innocent statement, you could tell that he was really referring to your lack of presence over the course of the past few months. You had noted it earlier on in your relationship, he would hide his intentions around vague and innocent remarks, a part of it likely out of being insecure and the other being calculating.
If he had recognized the fleeting expression of shame on your face for a second, he seemed gracious enough to the least to not mention it, as he watched you intently for your answer. The ends of your lips curved upwards, maintaining a practiced expression on your face as you feigned naivety. “Or maybe you’re getting more needy over time” you asserted.
“Guilty as charged” he chuckled, his hands raised in mock defense as you fought back a genuine smile that toyed at your lips. You wondered, for a split second, were you making a mistake? To build a resolve over the course of months to only doubt it now seemed foolish, you suppose you couldn’t be rid of the lingering feelings for him after all. You knew deep down though, it had to be this way. You would break his heart, but it would benefit the both of you in the long run.
Your coffees had long arrived and were set by your sides, however they stood neglected amidst the thickening air. “We need to talk, Satoru” you murmured, the words that were stuck on your tongue finally coming out.
You watched as his eyes glittered, not appearing bothered in the slightest as he uttered slowly “We do?”. Watching you nod, he looked slightly amused, his lips slightly protruding into a curl.
“Oh baby, your expression is so serious, you might actually scare me” he purred, his eyes gleaming. His hand reached over to ghost over your own, clasping it lightly.
“Don’t tell me, you’re quitting your job?” he pondered quizzically, looking at you with a smile.
“N-No…” you muttered in a hushed tone, your eyes dilating open. You could have almost sworn his voice sounded off, almost like he was taunting you. Your senses were overwhelmed by the inexplicable feeling that something was wrong, but you remained cemented to the seat thinking that you were being paranoid.
“Oh?” he mused as his smile grew tighter. “Hmm, are you considering moving in with me like I had asked?”
All the warning signs pointed towards the fact that it was almost like he was testing you. He was gauging you for a sort of reaction, leading you into the direction of what he really wanted to get out of you. Your hairs stood up at the back of your neck as your lips slightly parted, trembling as you shook your head.
“Ah, that’s too bad.” he hummed with mirth, although it didn’t quite meet his dark gaze. “Don’t tell me,” he muttered, his hand which had been intertwined with yours suddenly tightening with a death grip.
“You found yourself a new toy to run off with, so you’re going to abandon your boyfriend?”
His voice changed dramatically, going from a light and airy voice to one that was much deeper, more threatening, like there was visceral anger hiding behind his barely restrained voice.
“What?” you whispered after a pregnant pause, your throat dry and your face blanched while you wondered if you had heard him right.
“I asked, did you find yourself a new man to wh*re yourself off to, [Name]?”
All remnants of his former facade had long been gone, replaced with a dark expression as he looked like he was trying to visibly restrain himself. It was an expression you had never seen before in your years of knowing him, shaking you up as your voice cracked.
“It’s not like that Satoru…” you cried out, tear drops coating your eyelashes as you sniffled.
“I should have known, the moment you started planting seeds of doubt in my mind- conditioning and familiarizing me with the concept that we wouldn’t be together in the future.” he snarled, disregarding your tears as he continued.
“You were planning this from the start, were you not?”
You sobbed as your gaze tore from his eyes, unable to look at him when faced with your actions. Your gaze fixed onto your lap as you cried out in a whisper “That’s not true - it’s not…”
“It is” he hissed, his voice full of venom as his grip on your hand tightened.
Your gaze shifted to your hand, your teeth sinking into your lip to avoid wincing in pain.
“S-Satoru, it hurts.” you whispered, large tears leaking out of your eyes as you felt the effects of his further constricting grip.
“Let it hurt.”
An expression of shock etched onto your face, your face heating up. You could feel the eyes on your back from the various onlookers, feeling further humiliated that they were seeing you in such a state. Your voice shaking, you whispered urgently “Let’s not talk about this here, how about we go to your car?”
You could have sworn it, you saw a slight gleam in his eyes at your pleading, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he sneered “No, I think we’ll have it right here, won’t we?”
Hearing your sniffles, he felt compelled to continue, his hushed voice intertwined with anger as he said “You know, I really didn’t expect that from you [Name]”. He paused as he eyed you, before murmuring “Dumping your boyfriend for the sake of upgrading, I had never thought you’d be so… flighty.”.
“No!” you exclaimed, looking at him desperately while trying to save the last scraps of your honor, if there were any left. “My parent’s- My parent’s wanted me to meet him, I didn’t want to say yes-” you blubbered out as your voice shook, on the verge of sobbing again.
“Hm?” he looked at you, his eyebrows raised in mock amusement. “Let me guess, you really didn’t want to” his pitch raising higher in mockery. “But he was just so dependable, actually present, and, well, in your range?” he asked, his eyes boring into yours.
You felt an uncomfortable ache at your chest with every jab, recognizing those words as what you would voice to him as you tried to ease his mind into breaking up with him, trying to villainize yourself as being critical to make it easier for him. Now, as he was refracting it back onto you, your expression visibly shifted with guilt as you tried to defend yourself.
“We’re from different worlds Satoru, I can’t be what you deserve, and you can’t be provide for what I wish for” you said shakily, wiping the tear tracks from your face with your free hand. “I can’t be second to your work, I can’t feel like an outsider wherever I go with you! I can’t live in a fantasy, fearing the day you’ll realize I’m below you and you deserve better! I can’t sit at home fearing that something will happen to you at your work, and I can’t even fathom how it will be with children in the mix!”
“Did I tell you that?” he asked angrily.“You imagine things on your own, and I’m supposed to pay the consequences for it?”
Before your lips could part, before you could defend yourself, he went on his spiel even further. “Well, what can I do, blaming you, when you have such insidious influences surrounding you and controlling you? You think you understand everything, that you possess some hidden talent to tell everything as it is? You’re nothing but a naive girl, [Name], you know nothing!” he spat.
“I’m sorry.” you cried out pathetically, looking at him through your blurry eyes as you sobbed “I’m sorry, Satoru.”. Your cheeks were long stained at this point, the mascara mixed tear tracks running down as your face.
“I thought we had something special, [Name]. I thought we understood each other. Was I wrong?” he asked quietly, looking at your tear stained face with a sigh. You flinched as his hand unclasped with yours, imagining the worst but being met with his gentle touch as he wiped your tears with his thumb.
“I’m sorry.” you wept weakly as you felt his fingers caress your cheek slowly.
You shivered as he clucked his tongue sympathetically, pushing his chair as he stood up. You watched as he kneeled towards you, his hand reaching to the back of your head as he pushed your face into his shoulder.. “You know how much I love you, [Name]?” he asked softly, his hand rubbing your head as you cried into his shoulder.
“I know” you whimpered, your voice muffled as you buried your face even further. You didn’t really process much of what happened after that, only hearing his hushed voice as he paid the waiter and feeling his arm sling around your shoulder, guiding you out of the cafe.
All you had been thinking about as he led you to his car, placing you in the passenger seat was the irony that you had come to break up with him and left together. Well, Satoru had always been quite adept at being persuasive, you doubt you would have even come this far if that weren’t the case.
In the short frame of him walking to the side of the car with the driver’s seat, you took the opportunity to wipe your tears, imagining you must be looking ridiculous at the moment with your face stained with mascara and your eyes red and puffy.
Lost in thought, you were only jolted awake by the sound of a click at your door. You would have questioned him in normal circumstances, but you were far too fatigued to even let it register in your mind. Looking at Satoru, you watched as he smiled at you softly, taking tissues from a compartment as he wiped your face.
“You’re too easily influenced, [Name].” he sighed as his eyes tore away from you to start the car. “I’m assuming your friends have been feeding all of this into your mind?”
“Satoru, I thought of this on my own-” you tried contesting, not wanting his opinion of your family and friends to plummet.
“Nonsense. They don’t have your best interests at heart like you do, and you’re too innocent to question them” he insisted, not leaving any room for debate. “You can’t trust people like that, [Name]. They tried to steal you from me.” he spoke over the revving engine as he drove.
Your expression slightly fell at his words, not wanting to anger him further as you dropped defending them. As he drove, you looked out of the window in silence as the surroundings all blurred by the speed that he was driving in.
“Hey, where are we going?” you asked as you peered out of the window more closely, as it dawned on you he wasn’t going in the direction of your house.
After a pause of uncomfortable silence, he spoke up as he said “Home”, in a firm voice.
“Home?” you questioned as you looked at him with a puzzled face. “You’re going in the wrong direction.”
“I’m not.” he maintained as he continued driving. It was only then you truly took in the miffed expression on his face, as his intentions finally dawned on you.
“Satoru, I want to go home” you said shakily, your mind in conflict as you tried desperately not to feed into the thought that he would strip you away from everything and everyone you grew up with.
Now visibly agitated, he increased the pressure of his foot against the accelerator, the speed of the car subsequently increasing as a result. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep quiet [Name].” he snarled as his grip on the steering wheel tightened, veins popping out of his hand as he flexed them.
A shaky sob left your lips as you tried to push the door handle, realizing he locked you in as panic set in your nerves. “Let me out, Satoru.” you pleaded weakly, sniffling as you tugged at the door handle in vain.
He didn’t say anything for a while, his eyes simply remaining on the road as he ignored your pleas. As you reached a stop sign, his hand left the steering wheel as he ran his fingers through his hair, finally saying “This will be good for you, [Name], even if you can’t understand it now”.
Ignoring your distress, he continued as he looked at you “I don’t want you going against my word again, or confiding with people who I don’t trust, understand?”
“You’re crazy.” you stammered as you looked at him, your blood running cold at his words.
“Call me what you want, [Name], but you’re not going to change my mind,” he said in a low voice.
“Your mind should only be on pleasing your husband and building a family, got it?” he asked venomously, looking at you as if he dared you to challenge what he was saying.
You shook vehemently as you wept, unable to accept the reality he had given you and unable to defy his word.
“Please, let me out Satoru” you whimpered as he started driving again at the green light. “I can’t become what you want”.
“None of that.” he said, his voice filled with amusement. “You’ll do what I say. I wouldn’t have to be so strict with you if you weren’t so insistent on being a fool” he mocked.
Fueled by your lack of fight, he nearly whispered in a low voice “Oh, and [Name]?”.
“If you try pulling a stunt like that again, I’ll make sure you won’t be able to walk away from me, even if it means it has to be done physically” he said in a low voice, before grinning as he glanced at your terrified expression.
“But I’m sure you won’t be that dim to do it again, won’t you, [Name]?”
“Not that it’ll be possible after you’re swollen up with my brats.”