Archive of Our Own ^beta

Help me, I broke apart my insides
Help me, I've got no soul to sell
Help me, the only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself
—Closer, Nine Inch Nails

Zaun was known for many things. Its grey polluted skies, ingenuity even in the face of tragedy—especially when it came to chemtech—and the rough streets that made it impossible to travel through. Unless, of course, you were a local, friends with one, or had the appearance of a seasoned brute—enough to scare away the thieves, shimmer addicts, and even the slippery children waiting to pick your pockets and leave you stranded with nothing but dust bunnies in their wake.

Jinx liked to think she knew Zaun better than anyone else. Being the daughter of not just one, but two of the Undercity's most famous—or infamous, in Silco's case—leaders had its perks, one of which being the ability to maneuver around the place the same way most people her age up in Piltover probably navigated around their mansions and academies. If there was anyone who knew every nook, cranny, and crevice of the most polluted yet vibrant city in Runeterra—it was her.

Outside of The Last Drop and her hideout, Jinx didn't really have one place she called home. Why would she, when the entire city was hers for the taking? She spent her days exploring the underground tunnels that ran along below Piltover and through Zaun, the mines where the majority of Zaun's population wasted away—picking at rocks to uncover shinier rocks that only the Pilties would get to use—and expertly gliding over the rooftops of the sunken city.

She didn't need to be large and muscular to strike fear through the hearts of the average person walking through the streets; just her name and signature blue braids were enough. Her reputation definitely preceded her—thanks to Silco in part, but mostly due to her proclivity for bombs and guns and anything that went boom.

Jinx was known, and she was certainly feared…but she was also something of a recluse. She'd be hard pressed to let herself be spotted during her escapades, especially when she was trying to get away from her father. Silco had eyes and ears in almost every part of the city, but luckily for her, his goons were nowhere near as intelligent or well-versed on the city's layout as she was.

When she was younger, her fuck-ups meant one of two things. An explosion—usually caused in an attempt to fix whatever it was that she'd messed up—or her ability to hide serving her well enough that Silco sent half of his men combing through Zaun to no avail until she decided she was okay to show her face in front of him again, forcing herself to bear through the looks of disappointment he shot her way.

As she'd gotten older, that disappointment had morphed into understanding and her urge to run away had been replaced by a newfound ability to rely on Silco for advice and support, as boring and repetitive as his lectures could be.

This was not one of those times. She hadn't missed the way his voice tightened as he spoke, even when didn't fault her. She knew what he was thinking—what Sevika wasn't afraid to say outright. She'd messed up. Again.

Everyone knew it. Now, he thought she was weak, that she couldn't handle being out on the field like he'd trusted her to. She fucked everything up, just like she always did.

Pow-Pow never could get anything right, isn't that true?

"Shut up," she hissed at Mylo over her shoulder, crouched on her perch in one of the many abandoned sewage tunnels running through Zaun. The cold metal of the circular shaft was cutting into her skin where her hand was touching the floor, but she kept her eyes trained on the large opening where all the tunnels led, home to many pesky bugs she hadn't yet figured out how to get rid of.

Not like you can do it anyway.

The first time she'd stumbled across the Firelight hideout, she'd been as astonished as anyone else in Zaun would have been. Seeing something so alive in the deep depths of the Undercity was a shock, but maybe even more so was the sunlight streaming in from up ahead.

"Zaun Grey" wasn't just a name for the thick smog that polluted the city, but also the general dim atmosphere—perpetually cloudy skies thick with pollution meant that Zaun didn't get any sunlight all year round, which was part of why it made sense the only place that did get sunlight had managed to grow something so…big.

Jinx didn't really have anything else to say about it. It was a tree. She was sure Ekko had some spiel ready about how it was a symbol that it managed to thrive—ugh, she wasn't going there. She wasn't sure why she was even at his little commune in the first place, all she remembered was that she needed to get away. Away from The Last Drop, away from Silco and his goons and the rest of Zaun. Before she had even realized where she was heading, her feet were taking her through the tunnels below Zaun and down a familiar path—though she'd never dared to get so close before. She didn't really think about it, she was moving on autopilot and once she'd snapped out of it, she hadn't really seen a reason to go back.

There was a giant ball of something in the pit of her stomach. A tangle of anger, frustration, and other horrible feelings she didn't care to put names to twisting together and pushing energy through her body, making her restless and uneasy. It wasn't a new sensation—no, Jinx had been dealing with her emotional storms since before she was even Jinx. Powder had been pathetic, she broke down, she screamed and cried until her voice was hoarse and she had no more tears left to shed. No matter how loud she screamed, how much she begged, nobody ever heard Powder. She didn't miss the way her throat would be as raw as the cuts that allowed her insides to be pulled out, leaving her painfully empty, a husk of herself.

Jinx could keep her cool. Mostly. Sometimes she lost control, let the mask slip and her emotions take hold of the steering wheel, but for the most part she'd found other ways to manage her often overwhelming mental landscape. Throwing herself into her projects, forgetting to eat and sleep for days until she got them done, her mind laser-focused on her newest weapons. Blowing things up; every explosion shaved off the tiniest sliver of her wretchedness—the tension in her stomach would unravel in bright bursts of pink and blue dye, red and orange flames, and cloudy grey smoke. Sometimes she sought out fights on the streets, and sometimes she was a little too eager to let the bullets fly when Silco sent her on shimmer runs and trades, chasing that familiar buzz.

This time, none of that would suffice. No, she'd fucked up too bad this time, and there was no way she could fix it. Not without fucking up again and making things infinitely worse. With her luck, Jinx would only manage to ruin things even for herself, burn down the tiny ledge she stood on with her tip-toes, the last piece of ground she had keeping her standing. Her usual remedies weren't potent enough—she needed a hit of something stronger to numb the pain if she was going to stitch her own mind back together after this.

She wasn't sure why she'd ended up at the bug sanctuary, why she did time after time, stalking around the surrounding sewage tunnels until she got bored or had to leave. She never dared venture in. She had no reason to. It wasn't her territory, and even she wasn't stupid enough to enter the beehive without backup. She had no pollen to prove her camaraderie, was closer to a wasp who'd be stung on sight. Even with her gadgetry—as Silco would call it—she wouldn't be able to take on every single Firelight on their home turf without having her skull bashed in.

The Firelights wouldn't shy away from their chance at getting revenge for all of their little friends who had died at her hands. No matter how much Ekko liked to pretend they were better, that kind of rage, the kind that came from grief and loss would only result in violence—it was the worst kind. Jinx's kills were impersonal, it was her job; the Firelights had every reason to want her dead. She imagined taking hits worth dozens of people, imagined their revenge wouldn't satiate them even after her corpse was mangled enough that it lost her familiar countenance, until all that was left of Jinx was the blood and the guts that couldn't be beat down anymore to bear the brunt of their loss.

Of course, there was always the idea of telling her father where the base of their rival gang was located. She was sure Silco would be proud, singing her praises as they exterminated every single occupant of the sanctuary—well, she was sure it wouldn't be all of them, just the ones who liked setting their shimmer shipments on fire when she wasn't looking.

So then, why hadn't she? When she'd first discovered the base, she had intended to. In fact, the first thing she'd thought was that Silco needed to find out right away.

But then…there was him. Ekko, the leader of the Firelights.

Hah! What a joke. Jinx had always known he wouldn't die that easily, even in the depths of Zaun as a little twelve-year-old left all alone. He'd managed to build something the rest of the city would envy if they ever discovered it. Meanwhile, she had all of Silco's resources at her disposal and still managed to fuck things up—interesting how that worked.

She hadn't held back on the information because she cared about him—no, of course not. If there was anyone who wanted him dead more than Silco, it was her. She'd shot more bullets and thrown more bombs his way than she could count, yet he persisted. Fortunately, he hadn't exactly managed to kill her yet either. They were locked in some sick dance she couldn't pull herself out of, because doing so would mean leaving herself vulnerable to his attacks—it was annoying. No matter what she did, she just couldn't figure out how to stop him from ruining Silco's plans, time after time. Every time, she would fall so he could fly; in Silco's eyes, it would be her faults, her failures, she would be to blame every time the Firelights won.

But she had been intrigued. It wasn't everyday she stumbled upon her childhood best friend after she'd refused to leave Silco with him at the heart of the gang that had been making her life so difficult for the past few years. She stuck around just for that—the curiosity had wedged itself in her mind and she wouldn't be able to rid herself of it until she learned everything she could about him and his little followers.

It turned out there was a lot to learn. For one, the Firelights really were a rag-tag group of mostly teens and 20-something-year-olds trying to survive in the underground city known for especially high mortality rates of said age-bracket, not an experienced and organized group. It had been clear from the beginning that the Firelights didn't have numbers—but they made up for it in ingenuity and strategy. Silco had originally theorized they were being led by someone who'd been more involved with Zaun during Vander's time and had fled but was working from behind the scenes while the kids carried out their plans.

She was sure Vander himself had some sort of impact on Ekko and the way he ran his gang, the things he thought he was fighting for, so maybe he wasn't all that far off. If only Silco knew how interconnected they all really were—Ekko had practically been raised by Benzo.

For another, Ekko had grown up. When Jinx finally saw him again without that mask—it had been a couple of years since she had—he'd been freshly eighteen. It seemed like something obvious, something she too, had gone through—that everyone did—but until that day she'd seen him take off the owl mask of the Firelight leader and become Ekko, forever mixing the identities into one in her mind, it hadn't registered in her mind. When she thought of him, it was always Ekko, the stumbling pre-teen who liked to eavesdrop on people's conversations and preferred to build things with her and scavenge for scrap metal while the rest of the kids were busy running around.

The new Ekko was not him. Ekko stood with his back straight, his eyes constantly scanning with vigilance and his steps hitting the ground with a confidence that only came from years of having people follow his orders without question. This Ekko didn't stumble, he barely faltered. Seeing him again three years ago had been the cause for sleepless nights and a newfound vexation that she just couldn't scratch off of her skin, digging in so deep she couldn't tear it out without spilling all of her guts in the process.

So she'd kept the information to herself and even eventually convinced herself that it didn't matter that she knew it. She stopped frequenting the sewage tunnels and didn't hesitate to pull the trigger, every botched job and ruined shimmer shipment fuelling her hatred towards him. Silco thought she was weak and incompetent; Ekko's successes came at the cost of her failures.

Jinx sighed, pushing herself out of her crouch to reach back at the ladder a few steps away, giggling as it shook slightly under her weight. Years of exposure to water causing it to rust and several of its screws to snap off, screeching like it would break. The tunnels weren't exactly safe, though they were relatively dry this time of year, they reeked of—she couldn't describe the pungent smell, but it was so distinctly Zaun that it made not much of a difference as she explored. Her senses were already acclimated to extremes that the regular Piltie would probably clutch their pearls and pass out in.

She'd discovered an entrance to the base that Ekko and his goons probably hadn't yet—considering it was the only one that wasn't boarded up—but it was far enough away from the tree that it wasn't visible right away.

She wasn't sure why she headed down, popping out through the entrance. She wasn't sure why she didn't stop herself once she realized what she was doing and how reckless it was, Mylo laughing in her ear even as she tried to swat him away. Her feet continued to move even when her mind screamed that she should stop—at least think—but the floor beneath her was uncannily distant, the space in front of her foggy like she was watching her own path through a distorted lens. Every time they'd met, it'd been in her territory. She knew the rest of Zaun, inside and out—practically owned it. She had her guns and her bombs and Silco's backup in case she needed it—though she never did—the reassurance that she had the upper hand in every conflict.

Down there? She had nothing but her pistol and a series of bad ideas ranging from going back and getting her bombs to blow up the place to having a little chat with her arch-nemesis.

Well, the anxious knot in her stomach was getting bigger and nothing had worked in getting rid of it. Not picking a fight with some of Chross' goons, or throwing a bunch of explosives to watch them burst out in pretty colours, or anything else. It wasn't enough, they didn't hold the same thrill they used to, she felt a mild satisfaction and nothing else. She was looking for excitement, she was looking for something that would make her feel alive again.

It wasn't enough to get rid of the swirling storm in her mind that was only going to get worse if she didn't manage to get rid of her thoughts, her emotions, everything. Sometimes it felt like she was simultaneously feeling too much and too little, both of them feeding into one another until she was a shell of a being. She couldn't function properly, not without something to make her feel whole again.

What could provide that danger, that excitement, that thrill, and the perfect buzzing behind her eyes better than walking right into the foe's nest? She wasn't sure what exactly she wanted…that was part of the fun, seeing where the wind would take her. If she was lucky, she'd hit the jackpot, if not, she'd be bored or end up dead.

She was perched on top of a large stack of wheels, the corner she inhabited similar to a dead-end alleyway—which, thinking about it, was also likely why they hadn't found the entrance yet, it didn't seem like many people ventured back where she was and the entrance was hidden by the wheels and other random equipment that was probably too old to use, thrown there so they didn't have to deal with proper disposal—or maybe the idea that someday it would become useful. Jinx wasn't so sentimental about such things, if she didn't need it and it didn't serve the purpose of looking good, it was thrown off of the rotor-blades of her hideout, never to be seen again.

It seemed like luck was on her side—or maybe not, depending on how you looked at it—because the first thing she saw was him. Not his brutish second in command or one of his other friends, but The Boy Savior himself.

He was dressed how he always was, with the exception of his large jacket and mask, showcasing the muscle he'd gained over the years, and Jinx could hate him all she wanted—hate his stupid gang and hopeless optimism that wasn't going to get Zaun anywhere but stomped deeper into the ground by Piltover—but she couldn't deny what she was thinking. She couldn't deny the inevitable pull that drew her to him, time and time again.

From her perch she could make out his form, he was talking to a group of kids. It was the first time Jinx was seeing children in the commune, she'd assumed it was all teenagers and adults, but it made sense that Ekko's bleeding heart wouldn't be able to turn away kids…it looked like he was scolding them actually, and hah! What a funny sight, they'd been those kids once, exchanging nervous glances while Vi stood towering above them.

The kids cleared out a few minutes later as Ekko shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was an action she'd seen many of the adults in her life do more than once, a lot of the times the action being a product of one of her great ideas. She and Ekko were the adults now; it was an unfortunate thought, because Jinx sure as hell didn't feel like an adult. She wondered if he felt that way too, if his perfection was all an act, or if he was just as put together on the inside as he seemed on the outside.

Her stomach dropped as Ekko began to move, quickly leaving her field of view. She had two options. She could play it safe and leave, or she could…

Jinx jumped off of her perch, landing on a crate halfway to her ground, careful to make sure her toes hit the ground before the rest of her feet to avoid making any noise. It was laughable how easy it was for her to trail after him, sticking to the shadows, corners where nobody would look, her heart beating and her mind buzzing under the possibility of being caught.

It was a little trickier once he got closer to his tree, climbing the stairs built around it up to what she knew to be his living quarters. She had to circle around the back, climbing over until she got to a back staircase that led the same way until it branched in a different direction. She had no idea what she was doing. At this rate, he'd spot her.

But she didn't turn back, not yet.

She climbed over the side of the same staircase he'd climbed just seconds ago, dropping into the little hall on the way to his room. This time, she didn't bother to stifle the stomp of her boots as she landed.

His reaction was instant. Ekko whipped around, hand moving to his belt to grab one of his sap bombs, hurling it right at her. Jinx giggled as she ducked, the bomb hitting the wall behind her and bursting into a giant orange foam crystal as she swerved forward. Ekko's eyes widened in recognition, his eyes locking on the whip of her braids as she moved at an inhuman speed. Even her agility wasn't enough with their proximity, because by the time she'd dodged his bomb, Ekko was right in front of her. He grabbed her wrist with bruising strength, his face twisted into anger.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he hissed, his voice low as he yanked her closer, though she knew nobody was around to hear.

She didn't exactly know the answer to his question either. She tried to pull out of his grasp, pulling her arm back as his grip tightened, other hand reaching for her gun. His gaze snapped to the movement, yanking her forward so she stumbled as he grabbed her gun and threw it aside, out of her reach. "I'm not asking again, Jinx. I'm in no mood to deal with your games. What. Are. You. Doing. Here."

Jinx let out a giggle—a deranged, playful thing, as she tried to pull away. She tried not to think too hard about his grip leaving marks on her skin. "What, am I not allowed to go on walks anymore?"

"Cut the bullshit," Ekko scoffed, refusing to play along. Jinx pouted, watching his jaw clench.

"Thought you'd be happy to see me," Jinx teased cockily, trying to push a reaction out of him. Ekko glared at her instead. Boo, why was everyone around her so boring? Couldn't she just have some fun for once?

Ekko was too stuck up for that now, The Boy Savior and his crew of goodie two shoes that followed his every step, couldn't they see what she did? Underneath it all, the moral, righteous, Ekko who took in orphans and addicts, who fought for Zaun's future and probably hugged trees, underneath it all was a man blinded by his own past; by her, if she dared to get a little self-serving.

Jinx wasn't going to complain, not when it got her the best form of high that there was, the best escape.

She tried to pull away again, her other hand twitching at her side, but Ekko wouldn't let up. His eyes searched for something in her face, in her eyes, her cheeks that no longer held baby fat, her lips that curled into caustic smirks instead of crooked grins. He was looking for something she didn't have, a resemblance to the little girl he was still holding onto.

"I should keep you here. See how far Silco will go to get you back. Think he'd give up his precious Shimmer empire?"

"Shut up," she snarled, beginning to lose the giddy excitement that had pulled her into the situation, her mind clouding with something akin to anger. She had thrown herself into this too fast, hadn't thought things through. She never did, she knew it. She head enough from Silco about it, but she just couldn't seem to learn—her mind liked to wipe away any semblance of logic, the loose screws popping out of their sockets under even the smallest of weights just like that rusty ladder.

She should have expected this. Ekko loved to pretend—he loved to pretend he was above it all, above his desires, above her. "I shouldn't have come here."

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," Ekko agreed for once, glancing around warily. She wondered why he didn't just kill her when it would have solved all of his problems. No Jinx, no one to kill his bugs when they attacked Silco's shimmer shipments. No Jinx, nobody to bring out the worst in him.

She knew she did, he'd said it himself once. The Boy Savior…it wasn't just a persona, it was who he was. Always so good, so perfect, but when it came to her, all of that disappeared. Jinx was like a plague to everyone around her, and not even wonderboy Ekko was immune to her curse.

Maybe she wanted to drag him down with her, to sink her nails into his skin and pull him under the water while she drowned in her own tears. Maybe she wanted to see him drop the mask and show who he really was, what he really wanted, what he really needed. She wanted to unearth the ugly truth that he'd only show to someone as despicable as her, because who was she to judge?

"So let me go," Jinx told him plainly, tilting her head. His arm showcased a brilliant bruise, not as prominent on his skin as it would've been when it was fresh, but Jinx knew it was from her attempt at bashing Pow-Pow into his head, only managing to hit his arm when he'd jumped out of the way.

She raised her other hand, pressing her thumb into the bruise and relishing in his hiss of pain as she put as much force into it as she could. Ekko slapped her hand away, walking forward and forcing her back until she hit a wall, her hands pulled above her head as she squirmed, body tingling, buzzing, her insides threatening to explode.

Ekko raised a brow, almost incredulous. "After catching you here? To run back to Silco with our location?"

Jinx scoffed. "What makes you think I haven't known you were here the whole time?"

"Yeah, like you'd keep that to yourself. You can't lie for shit."

No, no, no. None of it was going the way she wanted it to. She didn't seek him out to be berated and belittled, if she wanted that she could go find Sevika. No, she came to Ekko because he was the only one who could help her.

Help her get away from it all. Help her get away from herself.

Help her become somebody else, just for a bit.

But he wasn't cooperating.

"Let go of me Ekko." Like a coward, she tried to back out.

"Are you kidding me right now? You came into my territory and now you're acting like I dragged you here? I should've killed you on the spot—for all I know you could've been planting bombs everywhere to blow the place up!"

Not like she hadn't thought about it.

Jinx scowled. "If I wanted to blow us up, we'd be dead already"

Ekko's eyes narrowed, and Jinx hoped he wouldn't prod at the usage of us and we. It'd been a subconscious choice in wording, but really, if she was going to blow him up, she'd make sure to kill both of them off.

Two for one deal. She giggled at the thought, Ekko's responding sigh killing her mood. Why was he so uptight all the time?

"Yeah real reassuring," Ekko drawled sarcastically. "Are you gonna tell me why you're here or do you need a replay of the last time we ended up like this?"

Jinx stared at him. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

She was getting annoyed. She tried kicking him, hoping to knock him off balance long enough that she'd be able to wrench herself free, but he didn't even budge.

He seemed unimpressed. "That all you got?"

Oh, he was playing dirty, pulling at her strings—he knew how to play her all too well. Too well for her liking. Every time she sought him out, she promised herself she would just look. While he was walking through Zaun, she would stalk from the rooftops, and before she could even attempt to justify it to herself she'd be waiting for a chance to pounce.

The Firelights did routine sweeps through the city, patrol to feed their saviour complexes and get shimmer addicts off of the streets—the ones who were willing to trust a bunch of kids, anyways—and get into brawls with Silco's men. Jinx had memorized their routes long ago, though they changed from time to time, she had a sixth sense for Ekko's presence.

He didn't go on patrols as often as he used to—probably had some sort of fancy-schmancy leader duties to fulfill—but on the occasions he did, Jinx always knew. Sometimes she'd catch him after a fight, cornering him in an alley with her taunts.

He fell for it every single time.

And every single time he'd say the same thing: he wouldn't do it again, it was a lapse of judgement, a moment of weakness. He'd say that the next time she came, he would deny her.

She wasn't the only one who knew how to lie to herself.

No matter how many times he said it and tried to wish his will into existence, whenever she'd drop down, crooked grin, gun thrown to the side, he wouldn't deny her. Jinx was sure he couldn't; the same way she couldn't stop herself from walking out of her lair and scaling the rooftops until she spotted him, just like she couldn't help but appear behind him, nicknames on the tip of her tongue.

He never sought her out himself, she never expected him to. When she came, he never turned away.

That was all they needed.

They were never gentle, Jinx didn't know how to be after a lifetime of clawing her way up to the top. In Zaun, if you wanted something, you had to fight to get it. Get your hands soiled with blood and dirt and leave destruction in your wake. Once you had something you wanted, you would sink your claws in and never let go, you'd fight to keep it just as you had fought to get it.

Jinx didn't want Ekko. She didn't want to keep searching for him, time after time. She didn't want to crave his touch, she didn't want to need him as badly as she did—but it was out of her control. She needed him because he was the only person, the only thing that made her feel.

Ekko was the only one who needed her despite not wanting her. He needed her for something only she could do, she was irreplaceable. The idea made her feel high. It was more than the love Silco gave her, it was an addiction and she couldn't handle the cravings, no matter how much she hated her reliance; how she could feel herself slipping, becoming more reckless, angry, losing control the longer she went without him.

He hated her guts, wanted her dead, yet here she was. In his hideout, near his home, touching him, all up in his space. He didn't kill her—Jinx knew he wanted to, she knew he thought about it as much as she deliberated making that final shot. He'd voiced it to her before, said he wouldn't hesitate when the time came.

He had the perfect opportunity to get rid of her once and for all, to rid himself of Silco's biggest wildcard, to make his life eternally easier, and yet he didn't. What held him back? What had him staring into her eyes with the irreconcilable clash of a man torn apart by war, a soldier ready to betray his people, himself, for a concupiscence he couldn't rationalize?

"This is the last time, I mean it," Ekko lied.

Jinx couldn't take it anymore, being the object of his dissonance. She pushed forward, capturing his lips with her own, and he kissed her like he was returning to the same home that had been the cause of his troubles after a decade of being locked away. Bitter and unrelenting, angry and vicious, but still with the slightest familiarity, the tension bred between two people who hated each other because they knew one another so well, better than anyone else.

Jinx never really had to try; Ekko fell for the same tricks every time, still swearing he was better than it all. Better than this, better than her.

She knew he was just as desperate—she made sure he was messed up, as crazy, as lost and as corrupt as she was, no matter how much he tried to push it down. She brought out the worst in him, enjoyed pulling on his strings, making him snap and feeling the sharp sting of pain against her own skin when he did.

They devoured one another in a way that Jinx would have thought disgusting if it wasn't him. Their kiss was harsh; unforgiving and relentless, a fight and a dance packaged into one. Ekko pulled her tongue into his mouth, sucking on it and grazing with his teeth as she groaned, pulling herself away to attack again with full force.

He nipped at her lips and Jinx bit back in retaliation, clamping her teeth down until the metallic tang of blood hit her tongue, a frenzied giggle escaping her mouth. Ekko yelped, stumbling back enough to pull his head away so she could look him in the eyes, but not enough to let go of her entirely.

"What the fuck?" Ekko hissed incredulously, touching his lip with a finger, eyeing the blood. His other hand held hers above her head, overpowering her so easily that she couldn't wiggle out of his grasp. Oh, she liked the sight too much for her own good, the crimson dripping down his skin offering the paint for a perfect canvas.

Jinx laughed, louder than she could contain. Her crazy laugh, Sevika would call it. "Thought you wanted to see what I got? Here it is."

Before he could react, Jinx leaned forward and took his fingers into her mouth, lapping off the blood and sucking lightly before pulling away, her eyes never leaving his.

"Fuck, you little brat…" Ekko muttered, eyelids heavy, the brown of his irises almost entirely taken over by the dark voids of his pupils.

"Don't pretend you aren't as bad as I am," Jinx giggled, eyes wide, burning, that buzzing quelling too quickly as she tried to chase it once more, pushing down anything but the high that made her feel alive, finally. She could feel his hard-on pressing into her where his body pushed hers against the wall, holding her in place. Jinx fought the urge to squirm as her clit twitched at the feeling. He pulled her higher by the arms, shoulders groaning at the stretch, on her tip-toes with nothing but him to hold her up.

Completely at his mercy, but her vulnerability paired with his indignation—their enmity made it all the more exciting.

Ekko grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks to force open her mouth before leaning over her face with a wicked smirk to rival her own. "You're right, and you're desperate for it."

His mocking sent a wave of heat right through her body, her hips searching for friction as his knee found the space between her legs, pressing into her heat hard enough to make her gasp unceremoniously. Ekko's tongue darted out, and Jinx's eyes honed in on the movement as he licked the blood off of his lips before spitting it right into her mouth—still forcibly being kept open.

Ekko forced her mouth shut, and Jinx let out a little groan at the way he took control; she hated being told what to do, yet she couldn't help but squirm with need when he did it for her.

"Greedy girl, gonna take anything I give, hm?" Ekko mocked. She swallowed his spit, his blood, something twisted growing in her stomach alongside the tiniest drops of him—stolen, given, she would take it all.

He watched her throat bob with hungry eyes, and Jinx almost wanted to snap her teeth at him, bite into his neck until he loosened his grip and gave her an opening to take control, to humiliate him as he did her.

She was being wound tighter and tighter, and she knew Ekko was going to push, and push, and keep pushing until she snapped, until she lost any sight of herself, of him. She knew it just as she knew she had come to do the exact same to him, to push his buttons and pull his strings and make him jump and fly and dance for her until it was too much, until his frustrations and anger built up enough to blow up right in her face.

It was their game, one embedded in them more deeply than even they could try to erase—who would snap first, who would give in, who would suffer, who would win? Did it even matter who it was, when the punishment was just as enticing as the reward? When the back and forth was just as much of an end goal as the reactions they elicited?

Ekko let her jaw go, hand trailing down to circle her neck without applying any pressure, a tentative hold. Jinx's head tilted back as much as it could, the burn of curiosity fuelling her impetuous movement. A dare, should he take the bait.

"Hesitating now?" Jinx rasped, lacing the slightest bit of condescension into her tone—just enough to tick him off. "Weren't you threatening to kill me just a few minutes ago? Come on, don't tell me you're too much of a coward to go through with it."

Ekko tightened his grip. It wasn't enough to cut off her airflow entirely, just enough to make her squirm uncomfortably, buzzing behind her eyes and every nerve in her body tingling with excitement as she took in a laboured breath.

Jinx leaned into his grip, ignoring the barest twitch of his fingers before she whispered, "you know you want to. You're messed up, Little Man, don't insult me by pretending you're above this."

"Shut up," Ekko gritted out. "Shut up, Jinx."

He was really choking her now, pitiful gasps escaping her lips as he pressed in. Jinx wanted him to press hard enough that she'd be able to see his fingers painted on her skin in purple and blue, needed the rush to get to her head before anything else did.

"F—finish it," Jinx wheezed. Did she really want him to kill her? She wasn't sure. Did she want to see how far he would go? Maybe she wanted to see him choke on his own guilt, or maybe she wanted to expose the Ekko she saw hiding in him—the one who was just as insane as everyone knew her to be. "Y—your best cha—chance."

Ekko laughed, Jinx choked. Her body instinctively tensed up, trying to take in air, only managing to make pathetic little squeaks as Ekko finally seemed to regain his senses. Her head was beginning to feel light, eyes going out of focus as tears she didn't feel until they were streaming down her cheeks clouded her vision.

"Don't insult me by pretending you care what I want," he sneered. "You're only here because you love to hurt yourself."

Something flashed in his eyes—for a second Jinx really felt fear, dizzying, electric fear, as she was reminded of all the reasons he hated her. The breaking of a friendship with a slap echoing through the dead of night, years of flying bullets, detonating bombs, pleas turning to threats, she was the harbinger of death, death, death, death—

Jinx gasped as he let her go, dropping her hands and his grip on her throat at the same time, removing all support so she collapsed to the ground. Her legs felt weak, hands clutching at her neck as she sucked in air with difficulty, the slightest sting of disappointment escaping her with the last of her tears.

Ekko stood above her with his arms crossed as she pushed herself up, recovering quickly—even if the slightest wobble of her lip was bound to betray her.

Jinx grinned. "That's more like it."

"I fucking hate you," Ekko seethed with enough vitriol to kill a weaker woman. Jinx only smiled slyly, reaching down to cup his erection through his pants.

"Really gets you going, huh?" she mocked. "What do you think your precious bugs would say if they knew you get off on choking out the enemy?"

Ekko wrapped her braid around his hand twice, gripping the base and tugging her head back sharply, teething at her neck, over the bruises beginning to bloom on her skin. "You wanna find out? Think it might end worse for you than for me."

"Half the fun is in the fight, the other in flight," Jinx purred. "Unfortunately, I'm fully booked."

Ekko hummed. "I don't see you flying anywhere right now."

"Gotta get through the fight first." Jinx pulled his head away from her neck with his locs, crashing her lips together again and flipping them to shove him against the wall, finally taking her turn, taking what she needed. Ekko was always so ready to fight; ready to hold her down, ready to throw a punch. There was one thing he overlooked, for all he knew her tricks—Jinx always fought dirty.

He was stronger than her, she kept him pinned to the wall with the dig of her nails into his shoulders, kissing him with enough of an anarchic frenzy that he didn't dare push her off or try to take control. She was a delicate vial of poison balancing precariously between his teeth—ready to shatter and kill him if he tried to bite—any exposure was deadly.

Faintly, she realized that they were still in that dingy little hallway, the reminder not in her periphery for long before the loss of Ekko's lips startled her. He grabbed her arm, other hand still wrapped up with her braid as he dragged her towards what she assumed was his room—he must have realized the same thing.

"Don't get any ideas," Ekko muttered, pushing open the door and roughly shoving her in. She stumbled with a giggle, taking a look around as Ekko came in behind her.

Jinx had a lot of ideas.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, she didn't have much time to dwell on said ideas before he shoved her against the door, letting it slam shut behind her as Jinx struggled to regain control of the situation, eyes darting around for something to give her the advantage as he caged her in. It wasn't her style to go down so easily, Ekko had been manhandling and pulling her this way and that too easily, and on his turf, he'd found the high ground once again.

Ekko knew her too well to let her get far, pressing her into the door hard, and Jinx rolled her hips in retaliation, feeling the press of his boner against her crotch. She tried to take the lead, tried to pull him in again, tried to do anything, but Ekko wouldn't let her.

He grabbed her jaw, tilting her head up to make her meet his eyes. This contact was different—Jinx met him with fury, she met him with desire, a burning need to move. His eyes made her freeze. They held no anticipation, no room for argument, steady enough that his rage made hers fizzle out completely, replaced by anticipation for what was to come. This was the Ekko she knew now. He wasn't caught up by the past or busy imagining possibilities, he was here, he was now, and he knew exactly what he wanted, and how he was going to get it. This Ekko was a force to be reckoned with—a force even she hesitated to go against, swallowing hard at the concentration of his tenacity focused right on her.

"You asked for this," he told her harshly. Jinx couldn't decipher in what way he meant it—a reminder that whatever happened, she had started it all? A warning to stay in her place? Regardless, Jinx squirmed, rubbing her thighs together as the wetness between them gathered. This was exactly what she was here for—the snap, the anger, she wanted to feel his life. She needed it all; his wrath, his madness, his hatred, his everything. All of the things he was ashamed of, the things he kept locked away and bared only to her, the only person who saw it all and didn't back away, the only person who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty, to take a few hits if it meant she could watch him bleed.

"Don't tell me things I already know," Jinx snapped back, treading the line between playful and bitter. She bunched his scarf up in her hand, the orange assaulting her eyes before she finally pulled it off and threw it to the side, baring his neck.

Ekko didn't give her time to attach her mouth to his skin, to suck bruises into his most sensitive spots or bite threatening close to his arteries, every act a dance on the edge of a blunt knife, one wrong angle and they would bleed. He pressed an arm over her collarbone, keeping her back firmly against the door and face away from his neck while his other hand ran down her side, landing on her hips where he fumbled with her belts.

Jinx pouted. "Oh come on, you're not the only one who should get to have fun here!"

He ignored her complaints, slapping her hands away when she tried to help him with her belts, managing to undo the buckle and pull the main one off a few seconds later.

Jinx wasn't really bothered by it—her head was spinning, breathing laboured, heat pooling in her stomach and walls clenching around nothing in anticipation. Something about the way he was so desperate for her, so commanding, had her body flashing all kinds of hot and wet.

She never knew which Ekko she was going to get. Sometimes, he was guilty; he would swallow up his pride, taking her taunts, her anger, he would sleep with her in shame of his own desperation. Jinx couldn't help but laugh at those times, sickeningly pleased with herself in his turmoil—the way he couldn't help but need her no matter how much he hated what she was. How he was a hypocrite—hating her for loving Silco no matter what he had done, yet being unable to make himself let go of her after all that she had.

Sometimes, he was hurt. Jinx didn't look forward to those times, couldn't bear to look him in the eyes and be reminded that everything wrong with him, was her. The reflection that would stare back was too cruel for her to subject herself to, even as she let it out on him. He would plead with her, ask her to let go of her guns and her bombs, to let go of Silco and his Shimmer empire and take back the lanes. His voice would break, his eyes would water, and yet he never managed to get far before Jinx would flee, unable to confront her own actions so head-on, never quite as strong as she pretended. That wasn't what she wanted, and it only appeared in their earliest encounters before Ekko's hurt had been replaced with her favourite of the Ekko's—he was too quick of a learner not to give up on a lost cause.

Sometimes, he was angry. This was the Ekko she searched for, the one she was desperate to find, to feed, to feast. She never knew where his anger was going, where it was coming from—she wasn't sure he even knew it himself. He would fuck her hard, he would punish her for the crimes that she had committed against him, doling out the justice he saw as paving the way to a better world. He would take her depravity in his hands and fling it right back in her face, match her beat for beat, step for step.

This time, he was angry, and Jinx was all the more excited for it.

Ekko grabbed her thighs and hoisted her up so she had no choice but to wrap her legs around him, twining her arms around his neck. He lifted her easily, moving before she could protest, her belt-less pants feeling like less and less of a cover as her clothed crotch brushed over the tent in his pants. Jinx gave a tentative roll of her hips, grinding against him with a groan.

Ekko slapped her ass in retaliation and she jerked with a small yelp, the sting of pain pushing her further against him, sudden friction sending a blinding wave of pleasure up her spine for just a few moments before he roughly dropped her on his bed.

"Fuck you," she breathed, humiliation painting her cheeks red, hot.

"I warned you. We're doing this how I want," Ekko told her, tilting his head as he stood over her, fingers dipping underneath the bottom of her top.

"Selfish," Jinx scoffed.

"You came to my hideout—my tree, my home. This is exactly what you were looking for, offering yourself up like a needy little slut." Ekko teased, hooking his fingers under the band and tugging her up slightly so her back arched, the words sending a jolt through her body, the pressure building.

Jinx swallowed. "I'm not a—"

Ekko cut her off with two fingers pressed to her lips, pushing into her mouth. She moaned around them, instinctively closing her lips and sucking them in, her tongue swirling around his digits as if they were his cock. She was hungry, she was pathetic.

"Couldn't even finish the words," Ekko cooed. "You need to get better at lying, baby, you take my fingers so eagerly—like the slut you are."

Ekko thrusted his fingers into her mouth slowly, languidly, watching himself fuck her mouth with his fingers like he was in a trance, eyes glazed over. His tongue darted out for a second as if to lick his lips, before he pushed his fingers further, testing her limits. Jinx whimpered around his fingers, her own eyes wide as she took in the sight of him, let him pour his hunger, his conflict, his desperation down her throat until she too was overtaken by it.

He snapped out of his reverie when Jinx gagged, pulling his fingers out of her mouth, saliva smearing over her lips. He splayed his other hand over her stomach, holding her down.

"Take your pants off," Ekko commanded.

Before him, Jinx had never considered sex something she desired—it wasn't out of a lack of knowledge or experience, just that she was never able to conceptualize the appeal of being so intimate and vulnerable with another person. Having someone inside of her? It sounded insane, and she was—well, she had grounds to speak on the topic.

She didn't even understand when, lurking up in the rafters at The Last Drop, she'd hear Silco's goons talking about how hot this or that person was. Men, women, others, Jinx could acknowledge when someone was objectively good looking—she wasn't blind—but she'd never felt that…how had one of Margot's girls described it once? Fire?

Not until him, anyways. It was like there had been some sort of switch flipped and she was like, oh shit.

It was everything about him. The bulging muscles of his arms that she'd found restraining her more often than she'd admit to losing to his strength, his cocky smirks that made her want to bite at his lips, his too-quick and too-sharp tongue, his eyes that held more emotion than she carried bombs, volatile and feeling in a way her penchant for explosives wouldn't let her ignore.

It was all of those things, and it was him. Maybe it was that her hatred for him burned so hot she'd lost the ability to separate the burn from the kind of heat that was supposed to be pleasurable. Pleasure, pain, they had never been too far apart for her senses anyways. Where one came, the other closely followed, too tangled up for her to try and pull apart without detonating both, destroying herself in the process.

You're only here because you love to hurt yourself. Ekko had said. Jinx giggled at the thought, shimmying out of her pants after kicking off her boots, eyeing that bruise on his arm, the clotted blood on his lip from where she'd bit him earlier. Maybe he was right—but she liked hurting him just as much as she did herself, and he would be a hypocrite if he tried to deny that he was exactly the same.

"Stop laughing," Ekko groaned. "Right now? The fuck are you even laughing at?"

"At you," Jinx cooed with fake sweetness, so sweet it turned bitter. "You should really—"

Jinx cut herself off with a moan as Ekko slipped his fingers between her folds, lack of panties making his access easy as he coated his saliva-slicked fingers with her arousal, brushing over her clit.

"You were saying?" Ekko prodded.

"Fuck you—oh, fuck," Jinx gasped when he pushed in a finger, pulling her up by the back of her neck so she was almost sitting up, and Jinx didn't even have the thought to protest, letting him pull her around as he pleased. Jinx felt him unclasp her top and wrap himself around her so he was sitting behind her, fingers pulling away from her heat.

He didn't give her time to mourn the loss—she was overwhelmed the second he slipped two fingers into her this time, other hand reaching up to tease at her nipple, brushing over the hardened nub. Jinx's back arched, pushing her tits into his touch, squirming with his fingers inside of her, stretching her out. No matter how many times they did this, Jinx was always a little surprised by the size of his hands and fingers. Alone, Jinx rarely ever felt anything of a shock using just her own—it was nice, it got the job done, but with him, she was beginning to lose control of the way her body jerked into his touch, the soft whimpers that left her lips.

She'd always known that sex was different with another person. It was more intense, Jinx found herself to be sensitive to things that otherwise had no effect at all; she could shoot as many bullets as she liked, throw as many taunts, but she couldn't deny that Ekko was good in bed—too good for her to give up, even through everything between them. Ekko didn't hold back with her. He didn't hold back from pinching her nipples until she was gasping in pain, didn't hold back from fucking her hard and fast, didn't hold back from sucking hickeys into her neck—pulling her bruised skin into his mouth, sending sparks running under her skin. Hot ripples of pleasure when his thumb lightly circled over her clit crashed against the electric sting of pain, currents running through waves the way salty water conducted electricity.

Jinx clutched at his arm, nails digging into his skin as her grip tightened with every desperate sound he drew out of her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to push him away or pull him closer, the sensations both overwhelming and too pleasurable as it built up, reaching too high to drop with that final push. Ekko slowed his pace just as she was reaching that edge, pulling her back enough to leave her frustrated and panting, laughed into her skin when she whined.

"Ekko—I—why did you—" Her hips jerked involuntarily, and Jinx didn't care about his amusement in torturing her, didn't care enough to be embarrassed about the way she tried to fuck herself on his fingers like he was a toy.

He was so mean. "Big talk, but you always go quiet once you get this pussy stuffed, hm? Is that all it really takes to shut down the big, bad, Jinx?"

Her head was spinning, small bursts of pleasure like breadcrumbs left on a trail for her to follow kept her on edge, but they weren't enough to quell her needs, to pop the bubble of frustration, anxiety, anger, everything she was looking to escape. She felt it beginning to seep back into her bloodstream with every quivering breath that slipped into her lungs, and the shock wore off as she finally processed his words.

"Quit teasing," Jinx hissed. "I could've done this alone, don't make me wait to finish the job myself if you don't know how."

"Poor Jinx," Ekko sighed with faux-concern, curling his fingers to reach that spot that made her ears ring, walls clenching around him. "When you get yourself off, tell me, do you think of me?"

"Can your ego take a hit?" Jinx wasn't sure how exactly she managed to push out the words, the lie tasting like the metallic tang of a bullet. Ekko didn't seem fazed by her barb. "Harder, you're gonna need to give me a little more than that if you want to—"

Ekko made her swallow her own words, pressing into that same spot, curling his fingers with every thrust until she was seeing stars, head thrown back into his shoulder, grip tight.

"You're so predictable; you're too scared to ask for what you want properly so it has to be rude or an insult with you, doesn't it?" he asked mockingly, punctuating his question with a thrust. "Come on, be nice and maybe I'll let you come."

Patronizing, Jinx thought. It made her cheeks burn, if she wasn't so close, she might have hit him for it. He knew it, too. "I'd rather—"

Ekko sucked at her pulse. Jinx gasped, breaking into a broken sob as his thrusts slowed down. She didn't even notice the tears streaming at the frustration, being kept away from her release, until Ekko's tongue was at her jaw, licking a stripe up her face.

"What was that?" he asked all innocently. Jinx whimpered, the air feeling cool against the wet saliva coating her cheek.

"Just fuck me asshole," she whined.

"Tch, I thought I told you to be nice?" Ekko reprimanded, rubbing her clit, once, twice, she was so close. Her head spinning, walls clenching, legs twitching—

Ekko pulled away entirely, detaching his face from her neck, she clenched around nothing as he took away his fingers, not bothering to wipe them before he delivered a hard slap to her thigh, the sting breaking her out of her haze from being denied her orgasm.

There were still tears streaking down her face, makeup likely ruined. Not that she cared—Ekko had seen her look her worst. Knowing him, probably loved to see her fall apart like this, sobbing for pleasure, holding power over her, sadistic fuck. She couldn't even say she didn't expect it from him; he knew her too well not to know she loved the pain, that the release was so much sweeter the more he drew it out.

"I fucking hate you," Jinx snarled regardless, frustration clouding any other thoughts. She realized with a start that she was fully naked—Ekko had made sure of it—but he was still fully clothed, save for the scarf she had pulled off earlier. Jinx turned around in his arms and pushed herself on top of him, shoving him back so his back hit the mattress, mimicking their position earlier. "What, you think you can just—just—"

Ekko looked up at her, face painted with only the cockiest of looks—like he ever gave her anything else. "Just what?"

"Why the fuck are you still wearing clothes?"

Ekko shrugged. "You didn't seem to care much a few minutes ago."

"A few minutes ago I thought you at least had the decency to let me come," Jinx hissed, pinching his arm.

Ekko didn't even wince, prepared for her attack. "You like it better when I tease."

"You like it better when you tease," Jinx huffed, digging her nails into his shoulders, scratching down his arms. "I'm just here to get laid."

"You could do that with anyone else," Ekko pointed out. "I'm sure anyone else would be too scared to deny the loose cannon."

"Yeah, that's the whole issue." Jinx rolled her eyes.

"I thought you liked striking fear into the hearts of unassuming Zaunites?" Ekko prodded.

"Only when they aren't too scared to fight back." Jinx pouted. "What's the fun if they're ready to just lay down and die?"

Ekko laughed. "So, you wouldn't be here if I just gave you what you want, hm?"

"Shut the fuck up." Of course, he managed to talk her into a corner. She wasn't going to admit it—not in a million years, not even if she knew that her refusal to say anything was admission enough for him.

Instead, she kissed him. Ekko always tasted like something herbal, something she couldn't quite place her tongue on. Or, her finger on, what was the saying? Her tongue was definitely there, licking into his open mouth, swirling around his tongue. Jinx generally wasn't a fan of wet, sticky, and warm—weird textures would make her skin crawl, too much of them would begin to set her off.

This was different, she couldn't get enough. Ekko's hands went to the back of her neck and the dip of her waist, and Jinx shuddered at his touch. One of her legs went between his, thigh pressing against his hardness through his pants—she was sure that had to have been painful by now. She never understood how he could put all of his attention on her first; she was too greedy to ever be so selfless.

Though when she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, reaching into his pants to wrap her hand around his dick, keeping herself up with her other, she might have understood. It wasn't so much selfless as it was another way to pleasure herself, swallowing his responding moan like streams of honey, thick and sweet.

Ekko's dick was as big as his ego—Jinx hated him for it. To her own benefit, of course, but no matter how much she teased she could never change the fact that his self-assuredness was mostly definitely deserved. For all a big dick was worth, it was nothing on knowing what to do and how to do it; and Ekko would never do well in one department just to slack off in another. He was nothing if not educated. She had witnessed him learning firsthand—going from stumbling, messy, angry, first times, to practiced ease. She knew his satisfied smile when he discovered something new he could use against her—or for her, most times—how he would take the information and shelve it away, bring it out when she least expected it.

It was almost formulaic at times, like he was working through the equation of her chaos. Finding the input that would give him the best output—pinching her nipples to make her moan, sucking at that one specific spot on her neck that made her whimper, the perfect combinations, rhythms, every little button to press, lever to pull, dial to spin, he knew it so well he could probably write an instruction manual.

Not that it would be of any use to anyone else.

Jinx softly brushed her thumb over his tip, laughing into his mouth when his hips bucked into her touch, looking for friction. He wanted to tease? She could do the same.

Ekko pulled at her hair sharply and she groaned, stroking his cock. She kept it slow, maybe even more torturous than he had to her. She was panting when she finally pushed herself up to hover above him, grinning. It took a second of staring at his face for her to remember he wasn't wearing that stupid hourglass, nose and forehead clear of white face paint. It always got messed up when they fucked, but seeing his face fully bare was a little different—different enough to make her falter for just a second.

There wasn't really a separation of them in her mind the way Ekko liked to see her, Jinx, and Powder differently. Ekko was the leader of the Firelights and the leader of the Firelights was Ekko. Even before the Firelights had grown enough to become a problem for her and Silco, Jinx had known Ekko was running around Zaun with his saviour bullshit, trying to do good even when he was barely managing to find scraps to live off of. She hadn't heard of the Firelights until one day they'd attacked a shimmer shipment with way too much power for a group of teenagers, coming out of the shadows in flashes of green and disappearing just as fast.

That was when she'd found out that in the years Jinx had lost track of Ekko's whereabouts, he had been building an empire of his own. Granted—it was more of a small city-state in comparison to Silco's reign over Zaun, but it was enough to pose a threat. Jinx had, admittedly, been entertained by it at first. Their first few encounters, the Firelights had lacked the numbers, the weapons, those pesky hoverboards that they had now—but they learned quick, adapted faster than Jinx could keep them in check with her bombs and her bullets.

Once she had found out it was Ekko, that was that. She wasn't surprised, she'd put it together quickly, it was—something, but it wasn't everything. His identity didn't matter. What mattered was that he glared at her with the fury of a thousand suns, that he lifted his gear-headed club ready to swing, and Jinx's gun was pointed his way, ready to shoot. They were on opposite sides, and Jinx knew before they started towards one another that there would be no changing that.

His symbol, though, was something of a shield as much as it was a declaration of war. Like that mask he put on, it was another piece that kept him hidden away, forming a tough outer shell that Jinx couldn't break through no matter how hard she hit. She liked it better that way—she didn't have time for the Ekko hiding behind the one who threw punches without a second thought. She had outgrown the kid who cried when she forgot to stop by Benzo's after a run to the scrapyard, a new bomb occupying her mind, shoving away thoughts of her best friend just long enough to make him doubt.

He had outgrown him too. That face—even without his mask, without his paint, Ekko was not two different people. He was one, he was the Ekko she grew up with, the Ekko she pushed away, the Ekko she had tried to kill, the Ekko who had tried to kill her. Whether or not he was the leader of the Firelights—her natural enemy—Ekko hated her.

He didn't hate her just for her allegiance to Silco; maybe if that had been all, they could have been the leader of the Firelights and the loose cannon out there—and Jinx and Ekko in here. He hated her for everything she was, Jinx was who he hated, not any moniker the people of Zaun gave her or any job that Silco assigned.

They were always too complicated for her to fix—too much resentment between them for her to even want to try—but they were too connected for her to ignore. He was everywhere—his green symbol painted over the streets like he owned them, whispers of the Firelights circulating through Silco's people, through the clubs, the alleys, the echoes that she couldn't escape. He wedged a gap between her and Silco, always just the tiniest bit better. Even when she was victorious, she couldn't help but leave their scuffles like it was her who had lost something.

Her own mind, probably.

She didn't want to look at his face anymore, desire too quickly set on fire by hate. Jinx crashed their lips together, a bruising kiss that took Ekko by surprise, though he quickly recovered. She let him slip his tongue past after he ran it over the seam of her lips, pushing and pulling, driving it back and forth like he was fucking her mouth.

Jinx moaned around his tongue, tightening her grip around his cock to properly pump a few times before she pulled away. Ekko whined at the loss, and Jinx wasn't so busy trying to strip him of every article of clothing on his body that she didn't feel an electric shock run through her at the sound, but she was too busy doing her job to tease him about it—there would be plenty of opportunities later.

"I want everything off," Jinx demanded, managing to pull off his pants as Ekko was breathing heavily, trying to sit up. His eyes were glazed over, lips shiny with spit and slightly parted. If Jinx didn't know him well enough to know that he despised substances—shimmer and others—she might have mistaken him for an addict going through withdrawals, staring at her like she'd taken away his sustenance. "Now, Ekko."

Jinx groaned when he didn't process her command, bracketing his hips to sit on him right above his dick, on the white hair leading down, her own slicked tuft of blue rubbing against him, making a mess. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it off, and Ekko seemed to finally get the memo, trying to sit up.

"Nope." Jinx shoved him back down—she had finally gotten him where she wanted. "It's my turn."

Ekko laughed, keeping his back against the mattress but strained his neck to keep his eyes on her as she slinked back, lying between his legs. She wrapped a hand around the base of his cock and her lips closed around the head, swirling her tongue experimentally. He dropped his head back with a groan, and Jinx's hum of approval around his dick made him buck his hips. Jinx held his legs down, hollowing her cheeks and flicking her tongue, pressing it against that thick vein on the underside of his cock, dipping it into the slit.

"Jinx—please."

Jinx could feel Ekko beginning to get impatient, trying to keep himself from fucking into her mouth as she flicked her tongue—keeping it slow, he didn't deserve anything better. She knew what he liked, knew just how to keep him on edge even when it was difficult for her to have the heavy weight of him against her tongue, holding herself back as much as she was holding back on him.

Ekko didn't seem to notice—or he did, and he just didn't care. He pulled her head back, pushing it down again, fucking into her mouth like she was nothing but a hole for him to use, chasing his own pleasure. Jinx gripped his thighs tight, digging her nails in, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes when he held her down, breath caught in her chest and any memory of breathing through her nose fully gone as it was buried in his curls.

"There we go—better. Couldn't do it yourself, needed a little help, right?" Ekko mocked, a little breathless, groaning.

She couldn't have pulled away if she tried—didn't want to, she could take it, she wanted to prove to him that she could take it, even as she choked, spluttering, fighting every instinct in her body that told her to pull away—to bite or to fight—she just hollowed her cheeks instead, trying to keep some semblance of control as Ekko's thrusts became wilder, his push and pull of her hair more painful, sharp.

The pleasure was building—Jinx's clit twitched when Ekko shoved her head down again and she squirmed, desperate for friction. Tears were rolling down her face, choked sobs barely making it out of her spit-covered lips. Her hips rolled against the bed, skin on fabric as soft as it could get in Zaun a humiliating need wiping out anything else. It was hardly satisfying, and she hated him for making her so dependent, so addicted that even lowering herself to this had her turned on in ways she couldn't imagine, alive like she couldn't feel in any other way.

It was human, her desire, her frustration, the hot trail to release—it was an explosion and a fight wrapped up in one, all of her favourite things turned into a weapon to cut off her own insanity when it began to get too loud.

It wasn't enough—but Jinx's hips stilled, mind going blank as Ekko twitched in her mouth, holding her down one more time as he came. His cum shot down her throat, and Jinx swallowed instinctively, cleaning his cock off before he finally pulled her head up, loosening his grip. Jinx let herself collapse onto his thigh, breathing heavily, recovering alongside Ekko.

The little shit who had just come down her throat after denying her orgasm, fuck. Jinx bit his thigh, hard enough to bruise—it broke Ekko out of his post-orgasm trance before Jinx managed to break skin, and his satisfied groan only made her angrier.

"Don't—fucking asshole, shut the fuck up!" Jinx bit again, harder, pushed herself onto his lap to look down at him, glaring into his eyes. "So you get to get off but I don't? Now we can't even fuck 'cause of your stupid fucking refractory period, I didn't come here for your—"

"Shh." Ekko placed a finger over her mouth. "Don't worry baby, I can make it up to you. Relax."

Jinx's entire body was thrumming. She was going to explode, couldn't take it anymore. She despised being pent up, couldn't imagine how she was supposed to relax when she only felt more jittery than before, exactly the opposite of what she'd intended. Maybe she wasn't thinking about her fuck-ups, maybe the little figures standing behind her had finally made their retreat. Her vision was clear and she heard nothing but her own blood thrumming against her eardrums.

"I can't fucking relax what kind of—"

Jinx was getting tired of getting cut off, feeling like she was always one step behind him. Ekko rolled them over so she was lying on the bed, pulling at her legs until they were hanging off of the mattress before he slid to the floor, kneeling in front of her. He nudged her legs open softly, kissing her knee with too much tenderness for the way that he had fucked her mouth earlier—choked her like he really could have given her a one-way trip to hell.

"I'm going to return the favour, just enjoy yourself."

Jinx leaned back hesitantly, palms flat on the bed behind her. She was sure that Ekko would find some way to turn this on her, she just hadn't yet figured out how exactly he would do it. The smallest upward curve of his lips, the slight furrow of his brow, the crinkle of his eyes, barely subdued; she knew every micro-expression he made—he was up to something, had a plan she wasn't privy to.

As much as her curiosity scratched at the back of her mind and the jumpy instincts of survival told her to never proceed without fully assessing a situation, Jinx couldn't resist him. Her breath was still shaky, squirming with the build-up that was becoming too much, she hadn't even bothered to wipe the spit and tears marking her face.

"Ekko." She wasn't sure what exactly she was whining for, she just knew she needed something, anything, release.

He bit the inside of her thigh—payback—and Jinx yelped, legs slamming shut around his head. Ekko pushed through regardless, arms moving to pull her knees over his shoulders. He gave her one last glance, eyes flicking to her parted lips before he flattened his tongue, licking a stripe from her cunt to her clit, blowing a small gust of air that made her moan before circling the bud before sucking it into his mouth.

"Oh, fuck," Jinx moaned, throwing head back, her legs twitching as she tried to keep still. Fuck him, why was he good at fucking everything? It was infuriating, she couldn't even pretend to be the slightest bit bored. Every lick, suck, dip into her cunt, circle around her clit, flick, it was all intentional—studied, even. She buried her fingers into his locs, pulling him closer, closer, closer.

"Don't stop—Ekko I swear—"

Her climax creeped up on her quickly—her previous build-up making the second so much more potent, a forest fire borne from the embers of a small blaze. He tipped her over the edge easily, slipping two fingers into her weeping cunt, curling into that spot again, this time with the added suction of his soft lips wrapped around her clit, tongue running swift circles.

Jinx gasped, barely breathing as she came. Her walls squeezed around his fingers, sticky, wet fluid leaking out of her as he pulled them out, continuing his ministrations with his tongue well into her orgasm, pushing her into a second wave of rolling pleasure, so overwhelming it was prickly with its pleasure, forcefully shooting ecstasy through every nerve in her body.

It was that—those few moments that made everything disappear. The storm made way for something bigger, more dangerous—if short-lasting—a tidal wave that pushed her head back, had her whimpering Ekko's name and pulling him closer, pushing him away, she wasn't even sure what. She expected him to pull away then, expected him to be done once he'd given her what he'd promised—subdued her fury by feeding her something sweet.

Now it looked like he was the one feeding, she mewled, pulling at his locs as he lapped at her cunt without rest, replacing her slick with his spit and making lightning shoot through her, burning through what little energy she had left. It was too much. She was still so sensitive, too much to handle his persistence as he ate her out like he was a man starved.

"Ekko—fuck, I can't take any more—mmngh."

Ekko's fingers digged into the flesh of her hips, his nose bumping her clit while he fucked into her cunt with his tongue. It was like he didn't hear her at all, chasing something—like he was hungry, quelling a craving—chasing his own pleasure. Almost needy, Jinx tried to pull his head away, her grip loose and her own ability to keep him away stuttering every time he changed course, kept her on edge, unfaltering.

She was barely able to string together sentences, yet she begged. Salt hit her tongue, tears—she choked on her delirium and her vision blurred, the front of her body falling forward. The effort of keeping herself up was too much and she begged like she would never allow herself to do if she had even a scrap of cognizance left to give.

It was only after pushing her over the edge for the third time, after she was sure that he was too lost to ever stop, that he would eat her alive, bones and all, after she squirted over his face and covered her thighs, his lips, nose, chin, made a full mess, that finally, it seemed he'd had his fill. "You're getting what you wanted, aren't you? Ungrateful little brat."

His eyes were clouded over as he looked up at her, lips sticky and covered with her wetness, it was on his tongue, his nose. She squirmed as he lapped it all up, licked over her heat, her thighs, little mewls leaving her lips as he cleaned her off—gentle when he glided over her clit, cunt clenching. He rose to kiss her after it all, looking about as dazed as she felt. She could taste herself on his tongue, the filthy nature of the act making her brain short-circuit.

Only he could push her to her limits and get away with it—only he could speak to her that way, use her and take everything she had for himself and make it out alive.

"Returning the favour my ass," Jinx whispered into his mouth, their breaths mingling, exchanging air in a way that made her dizzy. "That was all for you."

"I gave you that orgasm, didn't I? Three, if I'm counting correctly," Ekko bragged. He was hard again, Jinx felt his dick against her stomach where they were pressed together. "We both know you loved having my cock stuffed down your throat."

Jinx scoffed. "Have you been starving yourself to feed your bugs or something? Because you were eating me out like you were gonna die—"

"Is it so hard to believe I like to give you pleasure?"

"Would be easier to believe if you hadn't tried to kill me an hour ago," Jinx huffed.

Ekko rolled his eyes. "I wasn't trying to kill you."

"Oh yeah? How's that, buster?"

"If I was trying to kill you, you would've been dead." Ekko's eyes flashed with the slightest bit of threat. "You don't have your gun, I'm stronger than you, this is my home. You're at my mercy."

"Why didn't you?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you? Kill me?" Jinx clarified, tilting her head. "You always say shit like that—ooh Jinx, I'm gonna kill you, you should watch out, you're gonna die, blah blah blah. For all you know, I could be distracting you while Sevika and her goons kill all of your little buddies outside. Bet you didn't think of that, huh?"

Ekko blinked. Once, twice. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You're not even going to check?" Jinx pressed. "How do you know I'm not here to ruin your life?"

"Just being here is enough," Ekko muttered, then sighed. "We have an emergency alarm system—one I know you don't know about, so don't try to get in my head."

Boring, she had kind of hoped he would jump up fully naked to slam open his window and duck his head out to make sure everyone was fine down outside. Then again, maybe it really wasn't the best idea to press on his worst bruises—someday his reflexes would have him hit her hard enough to kill, and then what?

"You're so boring," Jinx mumbled, ignoring the blue scratches appearing behind him. Instead, her eyes caught on his neck again, still too pristine for her liking. She wanted to leave her mark like he had left his tenfold, wanted to make it impossible for him to wipe away any trace of her, of them. She wanted to dig in her teeth and plant her disease in his skin until it ate away at him as it had her, until they were the same in their wretchedness.

"You don't really think that." Ekko pushed her bangs out of her face, wiping the remnants of her tears off of her cheeks.

"I hate you," Jinx grumbled

"But I'm not boring?" Ekko grinned.

"I hate you," Jinx repeated, refusing to admit it. Maybe she did hate him, maybe he wasn't boring—she wouldn't have been wasting her time on him if he was. Nobody whose foundation shared so much of the same building blocks that made up her could be, it was unimaginable.

"You don—fuck!" Ekko cursed when she bit down, teeth sinking into his skin. She wanted to tear it off, take a piece of him with her. Maybe she wanted to keep him in her stomach, to swallow his good like it could transform her, too. Maybe all she would do was infect him, but she wasn't going to stop until she found out. She wanted to see it the next time they fought—needed evidence of this to know she wasn't crazy enough to imagine it all. It was insane enough that nobody would believe her if she tried to tell them—Ekko was careful enough that nothing but their bodies ever kept evidence of their escapades, she had this one thing and she wouldn't let go of it, couldn't let go of him.

She needed him to be as jinxed by her as she was haunted by him. She needed him to wince every time he moved, needed the sting of pain to be punishment for tormenting her even in her absence. She needed him to feel the ressentiment that she did every time he fucked with her plans, every time his self-righteousness brought her closer to fucking up beyond repair. She needed to be the first thing he cursed in the morning, the last thing he sought to forget in the night, needed him to be unable to escape just as she was.

Jinx unclamped her jaw when Ekko pulled her away by the braids roughly, grinning with his blood on her teeth. The bite wasn't that bad, but any harder and she might have given him something to really worry about—it was a reminder. Jinx licked her lips, let her tongue glide over her teeth. "You're not the only one who could kill, Little Man. Don't think I need my gun to fuck you up."

Ekko twisted her around, shoving her onto her stomach, the junction of her hips at the edge of the bed. Jinx's cheek pressed into the mattress, her hands held behind her back. "I think I'm better off keeping you restrained then, yeah? Can't have you fucking me up when I'm supposed to be fucking you."

Jinx wiggled her hips, struggling in his grasp. Her bare cunt pressed against his boner, head sliding over her hole as she bit her lip, trying to muffle her moan. Bait, trap, kill, feed. That was how she got him, had him thinking he was the one taking action when it was she who got him to break out of his restraints.

"Fuck off," Jinx tried.

"That's not what you want," Ekko pressed her hands into her back harder, his knuckles digging into her skin. Both of her wrists fit into his hold, and Jinx wished she could see the glaring difference for herself, how easily he kept her down. He used his other hand to guide his cock through her wet folds, she shuddered when he pressed against her swollen, oversensitive clit, before finally gliding to her pussy and pushing in—just the tip, just enough to have her pushing her head into the sheets, drowning out her whimpers.

Ekko didn't let her hide, twisting her head to the side. "Don't you love to make noise? Don't quiet yourself now, baby, I want to hear you."

"Shut up," Jinx hissed, tensing when he pushed in an inch. She was so empty, even after he'd pushed her to her limits, after she was sure she'd had enough just a few minutes ago, all of that crumbled under her need for him. It was humiliating how much more she needed, how she was willing to take anything, how she was willing to give everything for the rush, nothing could ever be enough. For the feeling of being full, of filling that void and washing away all of her hurt in hate and this obsessive mutual destruction.

"Just—please, Ekko—just—"

Ekko leaned over her, pushing him just a bit further and Jinx jolted, squirming. He nipped at her ear, voice coming out as an amused whisper, "tell me what you want."

"You know what I want."

"Do I? I told you, I want to hear you say it. Don't get shy on me now."

Now he was just torturing her, past teasing, he was wrenching every little admission out of her for his own satisfaction, trophies that he would flash in front of her eyes the next time they fought, because Ekko knew how to fight dirty too. The echo of his words the last time they had fought, fighting like you aren't thinking about having me hold you down.

Before that, bold words coming from someone who begged for just a kiss, is that how you treat all of your enemies, or am I just special?

He would turn her own words into a weapon, wield them better than he ever fought with that club—no amount of combat could take her down, but he knew how easily she was shattered by words.

It was just another conscious act of self-sabotage to add to the never-ending list that made up the entirety of their relationship. She said the words, laid herself out for him, pressed her chest into the knife her held out just to get closer—just because she couldn't lose their game. "Fuck me, please, Ekko. I need you."

"You can be a good girl, see? There you go." Ekko fully sank in with the words, her cunt providing little resistance with how wet she was. Jinx breathed out a satisfied sigh, her arms going limp in Ekko's grip and her head going still against the mattress, entire body melting as her hips were pushed forward, Ekko burying himself to the hilt.

"Finally," she keened, soft moans tumbling through her lips. She was completely pliant, too taken by pleasure to care about anything else—didn't even process Ekko dropping her hands to grip her hips instead. She felt every inch of him pressing against her insides, stretching her out, the angle perfectly pressing him against the spot that made her shudder, legs twitching when he pulled out slowly before slamming back in, setting a bruising pace.

Jinx clawed aimlessly at the bed, trying to search for some kind of purchase as Ekko pounded into her without rest, without mercy, she couldn't manage words and her babbling came out between gasps, incoherent.

"You're so good when you—when you listen." Ekko pressed her down, Jinx hoped she'd be able to see his fingers on her skin, hoped that bruises would peek over the low-cut of her pants. Nobody would know it was him, nobody except for them. She craved that secret—something to share, something to hold, a small flame to shelter from the wind.

Jinx came again from his cock alone, crying out, cunt fluttering around him, riding it out as he continued to take her. She couldn't stop, not even while her eyes blacked out from the overload of sensations, sparking back to life with the electric sting of a sharp slap against her ass. Her head wouldn't clear, but she had nothing else—was nothing except for this thing between them—and she would keep going until they had melded into one, until she destroyed him in the way he'd destroyed her, until she lost herself and him and nothing else could matter.

"Fucking—harder," Jinx begged. "Like you hate me."

"I do hate you," Ekko grunted.

"Then mean it."

Jinx reached back, clawing at Ekko's arm, needing him impossibly closer, he was inside her, she needed to feel him around, she could still feel him on her tongue, in her throat, imprints on her thighs, her ass, her hips, her neck. She needed him to take away everything and strip her down to her most primal self, fuck her like an animal, give him all of her sins and let him try his fucking best to turn her into the good person they both knew she never would be. Needed him to fail and punish her for it, use her until she couldn't remember anything else.

Obscene noises sounded between them, squelches from her pussy taking him in, pushing out slick around him. Her gasps, his groans, the whispered words of praise lined with sharp mockery to keep her going, knowing never to give her too much of one thing. He wrapped a braid around her neck, pulling it tight until she couldn't breathe, losing consciousness for the briefest of seconds before he eased the pressure, pounding into her so hard she saw stars, couldn't think, speak, breathe even once her throat was unrestricted.

Her haze was thick—one second he was still holding her down, the next she'd managed to get him out of her long enough to flip herself around, sucking at his neck while he pushed right back in. She was too out of it to know what she was doing, only witnessed it once she had completed the act. She was on top, she was under him again, they fought for control, for power, knew no matter who was above and who was below neither of them ever ended up better than the other—they both had nothing to give, everything to lose.

He slapped her ass, her thighs, her cheeks, pinched and left teeth marks on her tits, scratched her clit with his nails, licked off her tears—treated her exactly like she'd asked for. He fucked her like he hated her, hated that he was inside her but couldn't imagine pulling away, was like a sailor jumping off of his ship, ready to drown for the voice of a siren.

She left bites, hickeys, scratches down his back, pinched him skin, gripped him so tight she knew she would leave bruises—anything and everything to leave her mark. She wouldn't let him forget this, knew it would echo in her mind until she was driven mad, until she had no choice to come crawling right back.

"Fuck—Jinx," Ekko buried his head in her neck, hips stuttering. Jinx didn't bother to tell him to pull out, nails running down his arms, lips capturing his into something that could barely qualify as a kiss, was more sharing breath, holding their lips against one another as his dick twitched, shooting ropes of hot cum into her insides. It was enough to push her to her climax for the—she'd lost count, it didn't matter. Watching him come undone, knowing that she had done that, that when he collapsed next to her, limp with exhaustion, breathing hard—she had a piece of him, she had the power to unravel his entire life and held it, never letting him forget it.

The aftermath was always messy. Jinx was lying on his bed, breathing heavy, the sliver of space between them feeling like an ocean, like in just seconds a storm had torn them apart, washed them to different shores. Her thighs were sticky and she could feel his cum leaking out of her. Her lips were sore, her neck, the bite marks he left on her skin stinging, muscles aching alongside her scalp, newer bruises beginning to flourish.

Next to her, Ekko wasn't much better off—she'd caused as much damage as he had. Jinx stared at his ceiling, at the potted plants hanging from macrame rope, her head falling to side opposite him to look over the half-finished projects littering his large desk. His owl mask and jacket were hanging next to his door, geared bat propped up next to them and his hoverboard that was seemingly being fixed or upgraded was lying abandoned on the floor, a screwdriver next to it like he'd left mid-repair in a hurry.

Jinx gritted her teeth, the ivory and gold of that owl mask reminding her too vividly where she was, who she was next to. If he wanted to, he could have gotten up, grabbed his bat, and smashed her skull in. If he wanted to, she might have even let him.

Instead, she turned her head. Ekko didn't meet her eyes, let his own fall shut. His face twisted as he seemed to contemplate something, and Jinx wondered if he was trying to figure out what to do with her now that he had her in his hideout. Kill her, keep her prisoner, use her as a bargaining chip, handcuff her to his bed and use her, keep her there while outside all of Zaun searched?

He did none of those things. He didn't even speak—not to ask her to stay like he had before, not to make a scathing comment, a barbed dig, a cruel taunt, not even to tell her to leave. Ekko just turned away, shifting onto his side, Jinx's entire body on alert as the bed moved with him.

"Can't even look at me," Jinx muttered bitterly, pushing herself up to sit. She didn't look at him again, wasn't sure she would be able to stop herself from attacking or bursting into tears or doing something else just as incredibly stupid. Her forehead rested against her knees, she tried to stay calm, keep the scratching at bay.

She felt the bed shift again as Ekko turned her way, could feel the burn of his gaze on her bare back. Somehow, she felt so much more exposed like this than she had with his hands around her neck, being held down, with his face between her legs or cock buried in her pussy. She felt like he was looking right through her, didn't want him to know how much she wished he didn't regret this even when she walked into it knowing he would.

"Like you aren't about to leave? You got your fuck, don't pretend this is anything more to you," Ekko's voice was eerily steady, the acidity being the only thing betraying his turmoil.

It hurt. As much as she allowed it to, knowing he was right.

Jinx swallowed it down, refusing to cry in front of him again. "I don't pretend. That's your job."

Then she pushed herself up, dragged herself out of the quicksand threatening to drown her in its mass of unearthed emotions, kept behind red tape to warn away those who dared wander. Jinx didn't look at him when she pulled on her clothes, ignored his gaze on her back when her hand closed around the doorknob to his room.

She waited a second, two, three, four. Ekko didn't say anything.

Jinx slammed the door shut behind her.

You can have my isolation
You can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith
You can have my everything
—Closer, Nine Inch Nails