Work Text:
Found on the fridge in the Rogers-Barnes household:
Buck, Pepper sent us this list of questions the immigration officer might ask us during the green card interview. Can you look through it and think about how you want to answer? -S.
Sample Marriage Green Card Interview Questions:
What is your current address?
They’re coming here right? Why do I need to answer this
What is your cell #?
Your clearance isn’t high enough
What is your spouse’s cell #?
See above
How, when and where did you meet your spouse?
In 1924 when I pulled Nick O’Heaney off him in the school playground
How many days after you first saw her/him did you call her/him?
Phones weren’t invented back then
Can you be serious?
When did you see your spouse a second time?
In school the next day with a really nice shiner
What did you do with her/him?
We gave Nick O’Heaney a really nice shiner
Because he was trying to take my lunch!
What type of work does your spouse do?
DEFENDER OF FREEDOM AND JUSTICE
Very funny. Don’t forget we work together
What is your spouse’s work schedule?
Insane
I’ll give you that one
What is your spouse’s salary?
What the hell. Steve, do you even GET a salary? Do I?
I think so?
Are both of these salaries deposited into the same bank account?
No fucking clue
I’ll check with JARVIS
How long did you and your spouse date prior to getting married?
77 years. Does it count when you’re frozen?
It counts
Was there a proposal? Who proposed?
Yes. I did cos I thought I wasn’t making it back. I was right
YOU WERE WRONG
When did you get married?
In 1942 the night before I shipped out
Bucky, you sap, I love you but you can’t give that answer, it wasn’t legal and binding. What happened to 77 years? Stick to the official date
If you had a celebration, what food/beverages were served?
Hell yes we celebrated. Food - Steve. Beverages - a bottle of whiskey
Don’t forget Bucky was on the menu too, since we’re being thorough. Dammit now you’ve got me doing it. Stick to the official date!
Did you and your spouse go on a honeymoon? If yes, where did you go?
Italy
Seriously?
How did you purchase the honeymoon travel package, or who made the arrangements?
Everything paid for by the United States Army and only a one way ticket was needed. What a bargain
Too soon, Buck
How long did you travel for?
Till I fell off a train
Bucky!
How did you get to your honeymoon destination?
Battleship. Some people got to fly in with all the perks
I would’ve gone with you on that battleship and you know it
How many sleeping rooms does your home have?
Two. Some nights are just
Yeah
Are all the sleeping rooms on the same side of the home?
No. Enhanced hearing can be a pain in the ass
I hear ya
What size bed do you and your spouse have?
King. Have you seen Steve? Built like a brickhouse
You’re not so bad yourself
Describe the pieces of furniture in your bedroom?
DURABLE
Accurate, but NOT an appropriate answer
We should probably sit down and go through our answers together before you get deported to Russia