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I sat in my throne room in the Demon's King Palace after becoming the new King.
"You might be wondering who I am now right? I'm Jari..."
The "dyslexic" Supreme Demon King of the Demon Realm, with my birthday being January 7th.
I jumped around through key events that occurred when planet Earth was invaded by two evil entities on a magic monitor.
Iván my loyal from Namek stood close by my side and would debate with me about mortals actually being powerful.
Then I felt a strange warmth when he smiled at me during our heated debate that night.
Then my witch underling slash Iván's sister Dr Andrea came in and stirs up my anxiety after I threaten to cut her research fund by suggesting that the mortals who defeated the second evil entity will invade Demon Realm.
I would worry about an invasion from Universe 7 in my private chambers.
And Iván would then try to convince me that his sister was only "fucking" with me.
And so I would struggle with my dyslexia and fail to read the ancient scrolls on the table. Iván would notice my frustration and slides the scrolls aside, his hands trailing up my thighs until he roughly unbuckles my belt. As the tension snaps, Iván strips off his silk tunic and kicks his trousers away, revealing black silk Versace-style briefs that shimmer in the dim magi-light. He pulls my head forward for a passionate neck lick that transitions into a feverish make-out session. Two hours later, the room is silent save for the crackle of the fireplace as Iván pulls back on his high-waisted slacks. I rested my head on Iván’s bare chest, tracing the lines of his muscles while we share a bowl of chilled demon-grapes in bed. I said "The numbers don't hurt my head when you're holding me like this." Iván said "Then I shall make sure you never have to read a ledger alone again, my King."
I would decide that acquiring the Evil Third Eye was in my best interest.
But first Iván whispered to me about the one wish limit from the Eternal Dragon before we left for Earth.
But first I changed my plan right away.
I would later use my one wish for the Evil Third Eye.
And the eye appeared on my forehead and made me grow considerably in size and strength at will.
And later I would watch the human desert bandit Gingsanglek on the magic monitor losing old battles.
And I would wonder about his kind heart and baseball skills. He looked so strong in his orange gi.
I opened the transportation portal secretly to pull Ging into the Royal Training Grounds the next day. Ging asked "where are we? and who the fuck are you!?" as I suddenly tripped and landed right into his arms.
I said "I'm Jari. The reason you're in the Demon Realm is because I wanted to ask you what a home run is." and then a confused Ging would drop me.
I righted myself.
I told him Earth’s atmosphere was too thin for my demon lungs. At least for extended periods of time. Otherwise I would have just visited him at home. He soon explained the concept of baseball and "a home run" to me under the condition of sending him home.
My intuition would later hit about Andrea plotting against me.
For now, I would send a pair of underlings to report to me on what she was up to minutes later.
For now, I kept my suspicions from Iván because she was "still" his sister. I wanted to understand my new feelings. I would summon an initially annoyed Ging.
As a distraction, Ging would later teach me baseball at Obsidian Desert Stadium. I admitted my fear of the "warrior" legacy while Ging listens, eventually pulling me into a heavy make-out session against the cold metal bench. Ging laughs and pulls me down into the sand, stripping off his shirt and tossing his red Fruit of the Loom boxers onto the pitcher's mound. I leaned down to perform a slow lick along Ging’s collarbone, feeling the human's heart hammer against his chest. The air crackles as we tangle together. Sixty minutes later, Ging is halfway dressed, stepping into his red boxers while I brushed the black obsidian sand from my own regal robes. We lie back in the sand, staring up at the crimson clouds, tracing constellations that don't exist in the world of light. Ging said "The sand is itchy, but being with you is worth it." I replied "I shall have the sand turned to silk if it pleases you, Ging."
And then Ging would tell me stories about his past.
With his ex girlfriend slash human owner of Capsule Corp Sarah marrying someone who indirectly killed him.
With his other friend slash earth's greatest saiyan defender Finn marrying a human former princess Niecy.
I had dinner with Iván in the Palace Hanging Gardens a few days later.
Where the purple vines glowed like neon lights. I said "Finn's currently searching for a way into this realm to fight me." while taking another sip of the spicy demon-pepper soup he cooked for us.
Iván replied "Lord Jari he doesn't have a chance." while questioning if we should implement stronger security measures.
I didn't find the warriors a threat to the Evil Third Eye.
Did find out later about Andrea's ultimate goal to usurp me as King.
Did find Iván comfortable with her being sent away for 99 years instead of being "destroyed" as punishment.
My growing bond with Ging would be tested by his friends.
And Sarah would scold him over a cross-dimensional radio behind a row of giant purple ferns at the greenhouse.
And then mentioned Ging being late to her birthday party and a "secret child" he never knew about.
And my heart shattered. Ging would promise it was just a prank and I believed him. Especially when it was confirmed from both Sarah and Niecy.
I faced off with Finn and the other warriors at the floating ring suspended over the sulfur oceans one week later.
And Finn powered up to Super Saiyan 3 but I used the Evil Third Eye to block their blasts and drain their powers without hurting anyone badly.
And then I overpowered the group but held back every killing blow. Ging urged "Jari you don't have to finish them." then touched my shoulder.
I said "why the fuck shouldn't I? they won't stop coming after me." standing over the warrior's exhausted but breathing bodies on the ring platform.
I would choose mercy.
Mercy with the agreement that none of Ging's friends would be allowed back into the realm unless invited.
Mercy meant Ging's frequent gratitude for sparing his friends.
Mercy meant I would heal their wounds with the Evil Third Eye's magic. And send them away unharmed with Finn's claim that I was not such a bad guy after all.
I traveled to Earth and entered the gravity chamber where Ging practiced his swings a few months later.
The gravity was set to ten times normal and made my legs feel like lead. I turned to Iván and said "I never thought being King would feel this lonely." just then Ging walked over and put his hand on my waist to help me balance in the heavy air.
He said "Lord Jari i'm not going anywhere. And I hate to say it but neither is the human." after finishing his workout, Ging with a kind smile assured I was always welcome to fly there to see him.
I ruled the Demon Realm with more kindness now.
And everyone lived happily under my new gentle reign with Iván remaining my loyal advisor and Ging visiting often.
Cast
Jari Kennish 
José Iván Lizarraga Ceballos 
Gingsanglek Tor.Laksong 
Finn Bálor 
Sarah Michelle Gellar 
Andrea Roth 
Niecy Nash-Betts