Chapter Text
Mike thinks dating apps are completely and utterly stupid.
And that’s because they are.
Has he dabbled in a few apps? Sure. But only because he was bored on a Saturday night. Everyone else was out partying or doing whatever college students do when they’re not agreeing to play D&D with Mike. Something he doesn’t understand whatsoever. Who doesn’t want to spend a few hours playing with mini figurines and dice with twenty sides. Twenty sides! How could anything else be better than that?
Anyway, dating apps. Yuck.
Mike has only ever dated El, emphasis on the word dated. Yeah, she dumped his ass. Again. Turns out that not being able to say “I love you” as the world is crumbling to pieces is a sign that your relationship was never destined to be forever. What a load of bullshit. Mike can say it.
He just chooses not to, for some reason.
Lucas and Dustin suggested downloading a dating app for some new options. But unfortunately, Hawkins, Indiana doesn’t have many good options to begin with. It was quite frightening, actually. Who knew almost half of his graduating class would be flaunting their ass and tits on a lousy app.
He didn’t give it even a few seconds before deleting the whole thing off his phone. He’ll be fine without dating for some time. El can have her fun with whoever it is she’s seeing secretly, and Mike can have fun being a sulking pathetic loser as he’s been named multiple times by Max.
“Move over,” Lucas grunts, plopping down beside Mike and shoving him into the corner of the couch with his leg. “Taking up the whole couch with your legs. Nice.”
“It is my couch. And my basement.” Mike shuffles into the corner of the couch, his legs squished together involuntarily.
“You know what else can be yours?”
“Don’t—”
Lucas quickly lifts his leg with his hand and pushes out a gnarly fart, waving it in Mike’s direction.
“Agh, dude,” Mike whines. “Not cool.”
“I’d give that one… a 7,” Dustin teases as he slides into the small empty space beside Lucas on the couch. “Could’ve been an 8 if Mike had the same look on his face when El dumped him.”
You’d think winter break from college would be a nice time to kick back and relax.
Apparently not. Not when Dustin and Lucas are around.
They’ve been shitting on Mike for god knows how long about his breakup. It doesn’t help that the breakup happened right in front of the whole group, since El has a tendency to make their issues everyone else’s issues too. Practically every face in the D&D circle was attempting to hold back a detestable laugh, while Max simply let it out. No surprise there.
Except Will. Unlike everyone else, he simply looked away and hid his face. He, at least, had some respect for Mike in that moment.
Mike wishes he was here now, but he said he had some important thing to attend to. Whatever that means.
“So,” Lucas starts, leaning back comfortably on the couch, “any luck with that one girl?”
“Oh shit, you actually started talking to one?” Dustin asks as he reaches over Lucas and gives Mike’s thigh a few pats.
“Which girl?”
“Bro’s saying ‘which girl’ like he has multiple lined up,” Lucas jokes, jerking his thumb toward him while eyeing Dustin.
“No-no I’m saying which girl like there is no girl. I deleted the app before any girl could swipe right.”
“You’re saying that like they’d swipe right if you didn’t delete the app,” Dustin snorts, a sly grin growing on his face.
“Good one,” Lucas huffs, hanging his fist in the air between him and Dustin for a fist bump.
“Alright I got it, thanks you two.”
“So no date? I just made up that whole thing in my head or something?”
“I literally never talked to you about a date.”
Lucas' eyes narrow at Mike just before slowly blinking away from him, his attention shifting to some random object in the room.
“Wait,” Dustin interjects, “wasn’t it Will who told you about that?”
Lucas snaps his fingers and points at Dustin beside him, “that’s it. It’s Will who talked to me about someone he was meeting up with today.”
“How did you even get that mixed up?”
“You’re both on dating apps. Or...both were on dating apps, until someone chickened out.”
Will using a dating app? No way. Will talking to a girl? Even more unbelievable.
He came out about a year ago to the group, and a few other bystanders who probably shouldn’t have been there.
Well, everyone practically knew already, it wasn’t much of a surprise. Although, he used the word Tammy a few times? He has yet to explain what the hell a tammy is, and what it has to do with him being gay. Mike is pretty confident that no one else understood that portion of Will’s coming out, so he doesn’t bother bugging Will about it. All will reveal itself in time, he guesses. Maybe Tammy is some sort of insult for the first guy he had a crush on. First guy was probably a dipshit; Will can do better than some Tammy as he would call it. The term is lowkey growing on Mike. He should just start calling everyone a Tammy. Tammy Tammy Tammy, it’s catchy.
Oh yeah, back to Lucas.
“So what? You're saying Will is out with some random girl he met on a dating app?”
“Yeah, Mike, he’s out with a girl,” Lucas says sarcastically. “I mix you two up once and you somehow come to the conclusion that Will isn’t gay anymore.”
“I mean—you did say ‘any luck with that one girl.’”
“How is it,” Dustin starts, placing his fingers on his chin, “that Will has managed to go on a date before you?”
Mike blinks at the two of them; his blinks oddly reminiscent to one of a frog.
That important event, the one he briefly mentioned to Mike, is seriously a date?
Mike must be hallucinating.
Will doesn’t go on dates. Well, he doesn’t talk about dates or anything in that realm of things. He’s been pretty reserved for a while, only ever hanging out with Max or El...or the both of them.
A nasty combination. They all collectively act like they’re in a Mike Wheeler Hate Club, sometimes including Dustin and Lucas if they’re funny enough. Doesn’t happen often, clearly.
And why would Will be on dating apps? He has enough people around, including Mike. What else could he possibly need? Not that Mike is boyfriend material for Will, that’s not what he’s saying. Just, you know, a best friend is enough to last you a lifetime of fun and support. Why look elsewhere?
Romantic attraction? Yeah, no one actually needs it. Mike can imagine himself being content with just Will around.
In a strictly platonic way, of course.
“Very funny, guys,” Mike says, trying to joke along with the two of them. “Where is he, though? In all seriousness.”
Dustin and Lucas exchange a quick glance before snapping their eyes back to Mike, absolutely incredulous.
“He must’ve ‘forgotten’ to tell you,” Lucas teases, throwing up air quotes near Mike’s face.
Dustin flicks a smile at Lucas and copies him, his fingers curling into air quotes. “Yeah, he’s on a date. ‘In all seriousness.’”
What a pair of idiots. Truly. It surprises Mike that they call him a loser when every member of this group hangs around him and does things like this. So really, who’s the real loser?
Maybe it’s still Mike.
Why is it that Will tells everyone every tiny detail about his life except Mike? He would’ve loved to hear about this supposed date. In fact, he would’ve asked questions, which is exactly what he’s about to do.
Mike adjusts himself on the couch, sitting up so his back isn’t pressed against it anymore. He reaches for a half‑empty can of Coke and swirls it around. Before taking a sip, he mutters, “What’s the guy’s name?”
“Dunno. He never said.”
Mike stops mid‑sip. “You didn’t ask him?”
“Uh, no? He’ll just tell us when he gets back.”
Mike grunts and finishes the Coke, placing the empty can on the table. “Where’d this guy take him, anyway?” he asks.
“Is there some sort of reward we don’t know about for asking a certain amount of questions about Will’s date, or…” Dustin’s voice trails off as he looks at Lucas.
“I didn’t ask him anything about his date, Mike. But you’re free to ask him all the questions you want when he comes back. Honestly, you can ask Max. She probably knows.”
Ah yes, ask the person who will purposefully feed Mike fake information just to get him off her back.
Don’t get it twisted, she isn’t always a demon reincarnated as a human. She can actually be pretty nice, and Mike knows she’d do anything for anyone in the group. But she only shows that when no one else is around. Which is nearly impossible, considering she and Lucas are practically attached at the hip.
“Yeah, okay,” Mike mutters, leaning back into the couch.
He won’t ask any more questions. What’s the point? They’ll just ignore him and make fun of him, as usual.
But God, Mike can’t help the curiosity rising up his throat. As Will’s best friend, he sort of has a responsibility to keep him safe, make sure he’s with the right person and everything. Not that there is a right person. Pretty sure that would be Mike in every situation.
But if Will wants to date someone, he doesn’t need some random app.
Mike knows some gay people. He’s pretty sure his social studies professor is a little fruity. But Will probably isn’t into age gaps.
There’s also this guy in his English 101 class. He’s never explicitly said he’s gay, he just has that look.
Will talked to him once about “the gay look.” Something about being tall, skinny, and looking deathly ill all the time. Oddly specific, but Will knows what he’s talking about, and Mike knows absolutely nothing about that sort of stuff. So, he'll just take his word for it.
Anyway, both options are decent. Why use a dating app when Mike could just set him up?
“One more question—”
“Oh my god, Mike, let it go.”
“I’m just—it’s not about his damn date. Not… not necessarily.”
Lucas turns toward him, eyes narrowing again like he’s trying to crawl inside Mike’s brain.
“Did you introduce him to those dating apps?”
A smile spreads across Lucas’ face.
Mike knows that smile. He’s about to say something stupid just to piss him off.
“You think this is something new? Will’s been going on dates for a while now. Which is precisely why I didn’t ask him about this one. It’ll probably end badly just like the rest.”
“Wha—dates? Plural?”
“Plural.”
So this whole time Will has been going on dates right under Mike’s nose? And no one thought to tell him?
Not that it’s any of his business.
But it kind of is. Actually, it really is.
“How many?”
“Too many to count,” Lucas says, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head.
That’s impossible. Quiet, shy, reserved Will has been on so many dates that Lucas can’t count them on his fingers? No way.
What is he doing going on all these dates anyway? Clearly, if they’ve all crashed and burned, he’d learn to stop. Maybe he’s just not meant to be with some random guy from some abysmal dating app.
…
He must still be on one of those apps.
“Which, uh…” Mike starts, his voice uncertain. “Which app did he meet this guy on?”
“Mike,” Dustin grits out, “let’s lay off the questions about Will for a bit, hm? Anything else we can talk about?”
“Last question,” Mike blurts, waving his hands defensively. “I swear.”
“Grindr.”
“What?”
“That’s the dating app. The one he’s using right now,” Lucas says, eyes nowhere near Mike, completely disengaged.
Dustin whips his head toward Lucas. “How do you know so much about Will’s dating life?”
“So much? I only know a few things. It’s all Max knowledge that I was lucky enough to overhear.”
Grindr. What kind of name is that for a dating app? Mike’s never heard of it. He knows the others; Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, you name it. But whatever Lucas just said? That’s new. How many apps do people need when they all do the same thing?
Every day, there’s more garbage on these phones.
“Is that really the last question, Mike?” Lucas asks, finally glancing at him. “Or are you coming up with another one right now?”
“Please let it be the last.”
“It is, it is,” Mike insists, shoving his hand under his leg. He digs into his back pocket and pulls out his phone.
Let’s see, Grindr. What do you have to offer Will?
Meet and date local LGBTQ people.
Of course Mike didn’t know this app existed. It’s strictly for gay people. Still, Lucas could’ve mentioned it when listing the apps, even if Mike isn’t gay.
Whatever. Just download it already, Mike.
“Hey,” Lucas says, nudging Mike’s leg with his knee.
Mike, embarrassingly, shields his phone, clutching it to his chest. He gulps. “Yeah?”
“Where’s the remote?”
“What remote?”
Lucas’ expression twists into one of confusion. “The TV remote. The only remote in this basement.”
“Oh—yeah, right. It’s, uh…” Mike leans over, still covering his phone. “I think it’s over there, on that shelf,” he says, pointing between two shelves.
“Real helpful.” Lucas pushes himself off the couch and circles the small table, heading toward the shelves.
Mike watches him go, waiting until he’s far enough away to tilt his phone back into view. The download finishes. He opens the app, the black and yellow screen lighting up his face.
“Looking for something to watch?” Dustin asks, leaning into Lucas’ empty spot and trying to peek at Mike’s phone.
Mike slams it back to his chest. “Huh?”
Dustin raises his eyebrows, leaning back with a small grin peeking out from his pressed lips. “Alright, alright. Just pick a good movie. Not some of your indie one‑shot films. Maybe sci‑fi? A good throwback?”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Mike mutters, shifting into the corner of the couch so only he can see his screen.
Display Name.
Well, it can’t be Mike. Or Michael. It has to be something obscure. Nothing basic, but nothing too weird for Hawkins. It also has to sound… gay? Right? William isn’t really a gay name, not that Mike knows what makes a name gay. Maybe he’s overthinking this. No, he’s definitely overthinking this. First name that comes to mind. Go.
…
Shit. Nothing comes to mind. Why is it suddenly so hard to think of a name? There are billions of names out there, and all Mike can think about is Will’s. Not in a weird way, of course, just trying to figure out if names can even sound gay. Wait. Tammy. Tammy is definitely one of those names that could be considered gay. It was used in someone’s coming out, so it could’ve been used in someone else’s. But Tammy sounds like a girl’s name. That won’t work. Not that guys can’t have girl names. Jeez, Mike really isn’t good at this whole “being supportive” thing. It’s just a lot to keep track of. Most people would get it.
Anyway. A name, Mike. A name. What’s the guy version of Tammy?
Manny.
That’s it. That definitely sounds pretty gay.
Manny it is.
Headline: a short tagline that appears under your name.
What would appear under Manny’s name that would make sense for a gay dude? Mike wonders what Will’s tagline is, though he doesn’t think about it for too long considering that Will is also sort of a loser just like the rest of them. Probably something about D&D or The Clash. Mike would also do a D&D tagline, but he won’t give himself away that easily. Is there a way to skip this portion? Actually, can Mike just skip the entire thing? When does it get to the area where he gets to see the options Will has to look at? That’s the only reason he has even downloaded the app, obviously. No other reason. Anywho, headline headline headline.
Mike bites his lip, his thumbs waving in front of the phone screen, eager to type something.
Not here for a relationship.
Yeah, that’s perfect. Set boundaries immediately. Alright, next.
About me: Create a Bio
What does Manny like to do? It’s all gotta be some shit Mike would never touch in his real life.
“By the way,” Lucas blurts, still shuffling around the shelves for the remote, “I have a basketball game tonight. Will said he’d be there, and so did El and Max. You guys coming too?”
“Yeah, we’ll be there,” Dustin answers, flicking his gaze toward Mike for a second. “Right… Mike?”
Mike lifts his head from his phone, seeing both Lucas and Dustin staring at him like he’s holding something they want. “Yeah, yeah, of course. We’ll both be there.” He immediately drops his gaze back to his phone, practically burying his face in the screen.
Dustin and Lucas throw each other a look.
Basketball, that’s good. Mike would never even come into contact with a basketball unless someone chucked one at his head. Manny loves to play basketball and....he enjoys a nice walk on the beach. No, no that’s too much of a cliche. Manny is a college student, 21 years old, about 5’11, who enjoys playing basketball and...D&D?
...
Yeah that’s good. Adding a few personal things in there might be good to attract Will. For science, of course.
I’m Manny, first time on this app. I’m about 5’11 and I enjoy playing basketball. But don’t be mistaken, I also have a few nerdy interests. I’m a fellow D&D player, do with that what you will. 21 years old and in college. Anything else about me you can figure out by talking to me.
Perfect. Next.
Upload Picture.
Shit. That’s right. A picture. Mike can’t upload himself, that’d be like throwing a grenade at himself. But he can’t use some random picture of some guy he found on the internet, that’s ultimate catfishing. This is just, you know, the lowest tier of catfishing, it’s practically not even catfishing. More like...catteasing. Lucky for Mike, there’s not really anything against uploading a picture of something random on this app. One quick picture of his arm or his fist will do. People think arms are hot, right? Whatever, it’s not for him. It’s for Will’s sake, to make sure there aren’t any sickos or weirdos waiting to jump at him.
Mike pulls one hand away from his phone, and balls it into a fist, hard enough that his strains his veins. He darts his eyes over at Dustin a few times, ensuring that he isn’t watching him as he tries to take a picture of his arm. Discreetly, he holds the phone up at an angle that merely catches a glimpse of his forearm. His chin is practically squishing against his neck as he raises the phone just a bit closer to his face, attempting to get a decent picture. With a quick swoop, he taps his thumb against the phone and snaps a picture, completely unaware that his flash has been on the entire time.
A bright burst of light fills the room for less than a second. Mike shoves the phone into his lap, not smoothly at all. He shoots his head up to see Lucas standing by one of the shelves, hands on his hips.
“Need a photographer, Mike?”
Phones. Mike hates these fucking phones. Everything used to be so easy with walkie-talkies and zero ways to take pictures without a fat camera in your hands.
Should he even be doing this? If he gives it more than a second thought, pretending to be some fake gay guy on a gay dating app doesn’t sound very smart. Or nice. In fact, it sounds like a lot of things that are definitely not nice. But, his intentions are there. Remember, this is for Will’s sake. Will shouldn’t be going out with some low standard dudes. And it seems like that’s all this app offers, considering what Lucas said about all his dates ending badly. Mike is doing Will a favor with this, really.
“My finger slipped, I was just trying to open my photos—”
“Man, we don’t care if you’re taking pictures of yourself for a girl,” Dustin interrupts, waving him off. “In fact, maybe it’ll help you get over El faster. Do what you must, my friend.”
Lucas snorts from across the room and turns back to tearing apart the basement for the remote.
Mike exhales a breath he had no idea he was holding, his cheeks puffing for a brief second. He lifts the phone back up with one hand, the other hand pushing himself upright on the couch. The picture is displayed on the screen with an option to retake the picture or save it on his profile. Honestly, the picture isn’t awful. It’s slightly blurry, which is good for Mike, ensures that no one will be able to tell that it’s him. All you can see is a close up of his forearm, and a slight sliver of his shoe in the corner of the picture, barely recognizable.
Good enough, upload.
Immediately, Mike is hit with a bright screen full of different types of men. His eyes practically pop out of his sockets as he slowly scrolls through the infinite gallery of men just waiting to be reached out to. And for some reason, they’re all shirtless? Almost every single picture is a shirtless guy, holding up their phone to a mirror, flaunting their muscles to the point they all look constipated.
Will can’t seriously be into this. Just looking at a bunch of muscular, sweaty, big, burly...
Alright, one too many adjectives, Mike.
So, this means Mike has to place his thumb on this screen full of bare-chested men and just scroll until he finds Will? Well, he doesn’t have to, but again, this is for Will. He wouldn’t be his best friend if he didn’t at least do this once, just to check in on the types of guys going for Will. This world is a dangerous place, and Mike is only making sure Will doesn’t get lost in it.
“You all starting a movie without us?”
Mike’s eyes rip away from his screen full of half-nude men, flicking up towards Max who has just appeared out of nowhere, plopping down right in Lucas’ empty spot, her eyes slightly wandering over to Mike’s phone. He shoves it into his chest once again, this time shutting it off. El wanders over to him, pulling him up off the couch by yanking his arm with both her hands, just before jumping right into Mike’s spot beside Max.
“No, but only because I can’t find the damn remote,” Lucas mutters from across the room, still rummaging through the shelf.
“This remote?” El calls, reaching into the couch where Mike had been sitting and pulling out the small remote from between the cushions.
Lucas spins around, eyes locking onto the remote like a magnet. The magnetism breaks quickly as he darts his gaze to Mike, who’s standing beside the couch like an idiot. “Dude,” he grunts, hands on his hips again.
Mike scratches the back of his neck while slipping his phone into his pocket. “Sorry…”
But is he sorry? He stalled for a decent amount of time on that couch. He made the account without either of them noticing, and he looked at a decent number of shirtless men, in a non-gay way, before anyone could point it out.
Now all he needs to do is find Will. Should be a piece of cake.