Chapter Text
—
Gerard didn’t know exactly when he realized he was living a pathetic life of booze and quiet self-pity.
Maybe it was when his mom praised his kid brother for getting a job at the local café. Which was strange, because the last time Gerard checked, Mikey didn’t even like coffee.
Okay, fine. Maybe he liked tea.
Except he didn’t.
Still, Mikey had a job. People didn’t always love their jobs—that was normal. Most people just worked anyway. That just wasn’t how Gerard Way operated.
If he didn’t enjoy the job, he didn’t want it.
When Gerard turned fifteen, the day after his birthday, he marched straight into the college and career center to get a work permit. They were hesitant. Understandably. The raven-haired kid barely prioritized school and didn’t seem especially interested in starting now.
But somehow he got it signed.
His first job was at GameStop.
Which, in hindsight, should’ve been the first sign that Gerard wasn’t exactly passionate about life. Sure, he liked video games. But not enough to spend eight hours a day arguing with customers who insisted their controllers definitely didn’t have stick drift.
And no, the store still wasn’t giving them a brand-new replacement for the ten broken ones they dragged in.
At best, they might get fifteen dollars in store credit.
Maybe.
He worked there for a few months. Maybe less. Until the school told him his grades were so terrible he wasn’t allowed to work anymore.
Thank fuck. Gerard had never been happier.
Or maybe the realization came when he entered a comic competition and made what he thought was a super sick poster—only to place tenth. Which felt worse than losing completely.
So maybe art wasn’t exactly his big breakthrough.
Not that it mattered much. Gerard liked drawing. Kind of. Enough to doodle in notebooks and fill sketchpads halfway before abandoning them. But everyone always said the same thing, you can’t make a living doing that. His teachers treated him like he was stupid, like he didn’t have a clue in the world.
Maybe that’s when he realized things weren’t going great.
Or maybe it happened when he thought about every accomplishment he’d ever had.
Peter Pan in the fourth grade musical.
Being able to roll his tongue into three clover-like folds.
Not exactly résumé material.
Nothing impressive. Honestly, kind of fucking lame.
Or maybe the realization didn’t come from one moment at all.
Maybe it was every single day of his life.
Which was probably why Gerard was sitting in his mom’s basement at two in the morning, mildly drunk and staring at a website that claimed strangers would pay him money to do things on camera.
He’d stumbled onto it while looking up inflation.
Not the economic kind.
He wasn’t a total freak. Just curious.
One questionable link later—probably riddled with viruses—and he was watching an inflation video he definitely wasn’t going to talk about later. Halfway through, the site cut him off and demanded he sign in to keep watching.
Curiosity and two BeatBoxes deep, Gerard made an account.
With the same email he’d once used to apply to GameStop. The same email he’d technically used for job applications since then. Not that any had worked out. Mostly because Gerard’s job hunting strategy involved very minimal effort.
So yeah. His digital footprint was already fucked.
Now he was user726293, twenty-five years old and watching inflation videos alone in his mom’s basement.
Pathetic.
Though, to be fair, the rest of his life wasn’t helping his case either.
That’s when an ad popped up across the screen, sandwiched between banners of big tits and aggressively scandalous text.
SIGN UP NOW. EASY MONEY. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, YOU SEXY WHORE.
Gerard snorted.
Gerard wasn’t sexy. He wasn’t even cute. Not pretty, not handsome. Awkward, maybe. Shy, probably. A failure, definitely.
But the longer he stared at the ad, the more the words blurred together. And the more he thought about how badly he could use the money.
Not for anything responsible, obviously. His brain went straight to comics. Maybe games. Definitely not rent or helping his mom with bills.
God, he was a disgrace.
Gerard snapped the laptop shut.
Because what the fuck. People online would probably call him the same things they did in high school.
He’d made it through one year of college, technically. But when he realized there were three more to go, he’d laid in bed for three straight weeks and decided higher education simply wasn’t for him.
So Gerard flopped back onto the same bed now, staring at the ceiling.
Doing stuff on camera for money.
The idea sat there in his brain, stubborn and uncomfortable.
He ran a hand through his greasy, unwashed hair. If people could smell him through the screen, they’d probably pass out.
He was a little chubby, too. Round face, soft stomach. Pale, milky skin.
Maybe someone out there was into that.
Gerard dragged his hands over his eyes and groaned into his palms.
Why the hell was he even considering it?
He glanced at his laptop again.
Cursing himself, thinking about every time he’d gotten praised. Which was easier than counting how many times Mikey had.
One time Gerard got praised because he pulled a D in Algebra II during tenth grade.
Yeah.
He loved Mikey. Loved seeing him succeed.
But still.
Gerard stared at the screen again.
Sign up as a streamer and show us your ass.
Username.
Gerard stared at the empty box for a full thirty seconds.
Something sexy, probably. That’s what people online did, right?
Something dangerous. Mysterious. Hot.
For a second he almost typed something about goblins. Or Batman.
Instead, he typed,
cherubvenom
Gerard stared at it for a moment.
Yeah.
That definitely sounded like someone who wasn’t a greasy motherfucker living in his mom’s basement.
He didn’t bother adding a profile picture. No bio. Nothing.
He just wanted to see if anyone gave a fuck.
Pure curiosity.
That was it.
So he propped his laptop on his bed and angled the camera down so his face wouldn’t show. No way was he risking someone he knew seeing this.
He clicked the big red STREAM button.
No title. The site automatically filled it in.
March 9th, 2026
Gerard sat back on his heels on the mattress. Bootcut jeans low on his hips, long sleeve shirt riding up slightly at his stomach.
The viewer counter flickered.
1 viewer.
Then 0.
Then 1 again.
“Uh… hi,” Gerard said quietly.
The chat blinked.
deathb4disco
cute
Gerard cleared his throat and wiped his sweaty palms down the front of his jeans.
The counter jumped.
3 viewers.
xNausousx
u look like a virgin
sunplum89
we wanna see your dick
Gerard leaned closer to the screen to read.
“It’s my first time,” he muttered. “Be patient with me… fuckin’ perverts.”
The last part came out under his breath.
xNausousx
show us ur tits
Gerard squinted at the username.
“That’s not even how you spell nauseous.”
And he had dropped out of college.
The viewer count dropped.
2 viewers.
“Fuck, okay. Whatever. That guy was an asshole anyway.”
1 viewer.
sunplum89
do something already
Needy bitch.
Gerard sighed.
He slid his palm down over the front of his jeans, pressing lightly against his clothed dick.
The contact made him inhale sharply.
He rubbed slowly, hips lifting just slightly as his hand moved. His face stayed out of frame, thank fuck.
The chat blinked again.
sunplum89 tipped $2
The viewer count jumped.
5 viewers.
“Fuck,” Gerard breathed.
His stomach felt warm now. Embarrassingly warm.
His hand moved faster.
A soft choked sound slipped out of him as his hips pushed into his palm again—
—and he came in his pants.
Quick. Messy.
His thighs trembled a little as he stayed kneeling on the bed, breathing hard.
God.
He felt fucking disgusting.
Even half drunk.
More notifications popped up.
rumpot tipped $1
rumpot
I lik ur chubby stomach
sunplum89
your so sexy
bluecometh tipped $5
Gerard stared at the numbers.
Then he quickly reached forward and ended the stream.
The whole thing had lasted maybe fifteen minutes.
He checked the total.
$8.00
Gerard leaned back on the bed, staring at the screen.
Eight dollars wasn’t bad.
Eight dollars was eight more dollars than he had an hour ago.
He smiled a little.
In retrospect, it had been a terrible idea. He’d passed out shortly after, wasted on his bed.
In all honesty, he’d completely forgotten about the site. Mostly. On Tuesday he thought about it while eating cereal and he almost regurgitated it. Until a week later, when his memory was only slightly foggy.
Congrats! You got a badge for reaching 10 followers!
Gerard stared at the notification. Ten followers? Since when?
He clicked. Past streams popped up. His first stream had 106 views and 3 comments.
gasplump
when r u streaming again
bulletproof_hearts8
can’t believe I missed this fuck
bluecometh
I was the first viewer btw
That was the person who’d given him the $5 tip. His content had 13 likes. And one filtered comment.
xNausousx
such a fat fuck wish I could fuck your belly rolls
Gerard thought about streaming again. Really did.
Then his door opened and he snapped the laptop shut.
He was twenty-five, if that wasn’t already obvious. But apparently decency was still a thing.
“Mom made dinner,” Mikey said.
“Fuck, Mikey, you scared the shit out of me.”
“No one cares if you’re watching porn—you’re like 30,” Mikey said, shutting the door. Footsteps receded upstairs.
Gerard’s brows tightened. True, but… decency, he guessed.
Gerard trudged upstairs in the pajama pants he’d been wearing for weeks. Had he washed them? Probably not. The pinup girls were faded, worn more than washed. Same black tee. Same boxers.
His back was hunched—scoliosis or some shit. He sat at the table while Mikey and Donna chatted, pushing his hair behind his ears and twirling a fork through the pasta.
Actually… the way he ate pasta was unintentionally seductive.
His mom said, “Nice of you to join us.”
Reminder of why he didn’t want to.
“Not feeling well,” he mumbled just loud enough to be heard, almost taking the plate back downstairs but leaving it on the table instead. Trudging back to the basement meant he wouldn’t see the light for the rest of the day. That was why his skin stayed so pale.
“Gerard,” Mikey called after him.
Gerard plopped onto his bed, a little upset, a little bothered.
Twenty minutes later, he emerged with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. Back downstairs.
Because he had an idea. One that might actually make him money.
He dug through his closet and pulled out a bag of clothes from his old college drag days. A black dress, straps, short—mid-thigh. A few other garments he’d meant to get rid of, allegedly.
Hesitantly, he slipped on a pair of red lacy panties and matching bra. They fit snugly. He pulled the dress over them and moved toward the mirror, fixing his deep black hair that fell just past his shoulders.
Gerard was nervous. A lot nervous. He thought he looked a little fat in the dress. A lot fat.
Eventually, he sat on his bed on his heels and propped the camera so it caught a hint of his mouth. He pressed go live. The angle showed just a little peek of red under the dress, thighs mostly covering it. The lace bra was visible, not hidden under the black straps. His dark hair fell around his shoulders, just slightly messy.
Viewer count: 3
deathb4disco
water you doing now
sunplum89:
what’s your problem
Gerard twisted open a jar of creamy peanut butter. Crunchy was unappetizing. He stuck the spoon in and scooped a big glob, bringing it to his mouth with the same tongue that had worked “magic” before.
He swirled it. Licked it. Fuck. He squeezed his thighs together a little more. Just to emphasize.
bulletproof_hearts8
we can see his mouth tdy win ig
bluecometh
can i fuck u pls
or your mouth
Viewer count: 7
He moaned lightly as he licked the peanut butter. The spoon glided smooth.
deathb4disco tipped $5
twatbutterface
eat with a butt plug in on your next stream and I’ll give you 50 bucks
whaleskinluvr
never thought I’d be into this
Viewer count: 10
whaleskinluvr tipped $10
sunplum89
that dress looks so nice on you!!! :))):)
bluecometh
wanna rip that dress off with my teeth
Gerard muttered, half to himself,
“I don’t think I can cum from eating peanut butter… just seeing what you guys would do. Probably won’t stream again.”
deathb4disco
already why is your mom gonna catch you
sunplum89
next time call us pet names
$15 total in ten minutes.
He stared at the number. $23.00 already.
Gerard leaned back, breathing hard.
Not bad… for doing absolutely nothing.
He shook his head. Weird requests, weird people, weird money. But he’d never expected people to actually like this. And maybe… maybe he’d have to do it again.
He shut off the stream and was about to go to bed when a notification popped up. A message.
xNausousx
do u do requests
you haven’t tipped me at all
Bold of this person to assume Gerard would do anything for an asshole who hadn’t even paid him yet.
cause you haven’t earwned it yet you slut
Gerard frowned slightly. Though… it did make his dick hard. Barely.
well are you gonna pay me
obviously fuck r u stupid
what do you want
want u to call me a good boy
a good puppy
bold
what
asking for puppy shit
I mean I’ll do it but
Pls
you’re rly hot
okay
Im seruois
i get off to your streams
gross don’t do that
but you make my dick so hard baby
So it was a guy. Naturally. Should’ve assumed.
I’ll send u the money after
how do I know you’re not lying
xNausousx sent $20
Gerard stared at the notification. He exhaled.
Twenty dollars wasn’t bad though. All he had to do was send a voice message.
call ?
Gerard’s stomach dropped so fast it felt like it might slip straight out of his ass. His heart started racing because there was no way in hell he was calling.
Maybe xNausousx realized that, because he followed it up with,
u don’t have to
That eased Gerard a little. He knew he didn’t have to. He wasn’t obligated.
But the guy had already sent him money, and Gerard definitely couldn’t afford to send it back.
What if this dude thought he was ugly. Or fat.
Gerard tugged absently at the hem of the dress pooled around his thighs, smoothing the fabric down even though it already looked fine.
Then Gerard remembered the comments on his first stream. This was the same motherfucker who said he wanted to fuck his belly rolls.
Backhanded.
But also… kinda hot.
That thought eased him enough.
cherubvenom
yeah okay
Incoming call… xNausousx
ACCEPT DECLINE
It rang for a few seconds before Gerard finally picked up.
It was on his laptop, so the camera came on automatically along with the mic. He heard some rustling from xNausousx’s side of the call before it quickly went quiet—muted.
Gerard immediately reached down and adjusted the straps of the dress on his shoulders, suddenly very aware of how it sat on his chest.
“hi,” Gerard said, giving a small wave toward the camera, his face still mostly out of frame.
xNausousx
hi baby
Gerard’s face heated instantly. He rubbed the back of his neck and shifted where he sat on the bed.
He was so deprived of literally everything that any small compliment felt bigger than it was. Like they were in love with him.
Which they obviously weren’t.
To this guy, Gerard was just some porno on the internet.
“so do you just want me to… say your like request or—” Gerard asked, nervously twisting a piece of the dress fabric between his fingers.
yeah I mean I paid for that didn’t I whore
unless ur gonna jerk off for me
“Okay, god.” Gerard rolled his eyes a little, though his fingers kept fidgeting with the hem of the dress.
Such a weirdo.
“You’re… such a… good boy…”
“A good puppy,” Gerard breathed out, exaggerating it slightly.
not good I’m not hard
do better
“What?”
Gerard sat up a little straighter, eyebrows knitting together.
“You didn’t give instructions to say it a certain way, you asshole.”
do u really think anyone’s jacking it to half assed work
I’m helping by correcting u it’s good for bussjness
Gerard opened his mouth to snap back, then paused.
His fingers slid slowly over the skirt of the dress again, smoothing it over his thighs. He shifted his legs, pressing them together slightly without really meaning to.
Was he… right?
“No, you’re just a dick,” Gerard muttered, though the irritation sounded less certain now.
yeah a dick that wants to be inside u
now do better
Gerard didn’t have to keep going.
He’d already done what he was supposed to. He could hang up.
But he didn’t.
Instead he glanced down at himself, adjusting the neckline of the dress a little lower before he realized what he was doing. His fingers lingered there for a second.
Maybe curiosity.
Maybe something else.
Gerard shifted on the bed. Being a little chubby meant his chest was soft enough to pass for small tits if he pushed them together.
So he squeezed his thighs together. Pressed his chest in a little with his arms.
“Oh you’re such a good boy…” Gerard breathed, voice softer this time.
He rocked forward slightly without thinking, the dress pulling tighter across his body.
“such a good puppy for me…”
A small moan slipped out when his thighs rubbed together, friction from the dress and the lace panties sending a spark through him.
good bitch
Gerard could feel himself leaking now.
Hard to see through the black dress, but it was definitely there. His tip felt swollen and sensitive. He shifted again, the fabric dragging across it.
I’ll pay u more if you show me ur hole
“Fuck you,” Gerard breathed, though he didn’t move away from the camera right away.
is that why ur not naked in ur streams
saving urself for marriage
that’s hot
“No. I’m just not showing anything to a dick like you.”
He yanked the hem of the dress back down over his thighs again like he suddenly remembered he was supposed to be covered.
u sure
It’s ok ukno
I can pop ur cherry
Gerard hung up.
The guy was seriously annoying.
And Gerard was painfully hard.
Maybe it was purposeful. The way xNausousx was condescending, the way it pissed Gerard off. This fucking pervert probably wanted Gerard to get all worked up and upset over his messages in hopes Gerard would do exactly what he was about to do.
Gerard adjusted his laptop webcam and hit go live again.
He muttered something under his breath, barely audible. His old laptop mic probably didn’t pick it up anyway.
He sat back on his heels this time, shoulders a little tense. He didn’t say hi.
5 viewers.
He reached up and slowly pulled the straps of his dress off his shoulders, letting them slide down his arms until the lace bra underneath showed.
The room suddenly felt way too hot. Gerard wished there was a window he could crack open.
He hummed quietly to himself, mostly to fill the silence.
He was still nervous.
Still really fucking nervous.
But xNausousx had made him angry.
And turned on.
One of Gerard’s shoulders rolled forward slightly, letting one of the red bra straps slip further down his arm.
He bit his lip hard to suppress a moan.
twatbutterface
holy shit
Gerard lifted the dress higher.
The panties barely covered anything. His cock tip was flushed red and leaking already. It stood up against the fabric before he pushed the dress out of the way and ran both hands slowly down his thighs.
He squeezed the soft flesh there, thumbs pressing in as his fingers spread over his milky skin.
His legs trembled a little as his hands drifted closer to his cock.
He moved the panties aside and cupped himself.
Unable to bite it back—
deathb4disco
fuck you’re so hot
“auhh…” Gerard let out a low moan, head dipping forward.
He stroked up once, slow, his grip tight near the base. When he reached the tip he used his thumb to flick over it, smearing the bead of pre-cum.
Then he did it again.
And again.
His hand glided up and down now, pumping slowly at the base.
His hips lifted instinctively into his hand.
With his other hand he cupped his chest through the bra and squeezed, fingers pressing into the soft curve before sliding under the lace to rub slow circles into his nipple.
“f..fuck,” he huffed, breath shaky.
56 viewers.
The chat was flying by now but Gerard could barely focus on it. His eyes had gone glassy, lashes damp as he tilted his head back.
Wet sounds filled the quiet room.
He shrugged the other strap off his shoulder, dragging the bra down with it. The lace slipped lower until his chest was exposed.
He squeezed again, fingers digging into the soft flesh as his thighs spread wider on the bed.
He needed more friction.
More pressure.
The words tumbled out before he could stop them.
Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and thought about xNausousx.
He couldn’t picture a face.
But maybe that made it worse.
Maybe Gerard was the pervert.
“agh.. mm… such a… good boy”
He hoped to hell xNausousx wasn’t watching.
Or maybe he hoped he was.
The thought made Gerard’s stomach tighten.
His hand sped up, slick sounds filling the room along with his soft, breathy moans.
A few more desperate pumps and he was spilling white across his bedsheets and his hand.
Even through the orgasm he kept moving, hips pushing forward into his grip while a strained, choked moan slipped from his throat.
Eventually he slowed, chest heaving.
He pulled his hand away.
The air suddenly felt colder.
And he felt… gross.
He always did after jerking off. Or sex. Or anything like that.
Self-consciousness crept back in immediately.
Gerard tugged the dress down over his softening cock and pulled the straps back onto his shoulders. He didn’t bother fixing the bra.
He finally glanced over at the chat.
76 viewers.
whaleskinlover tipped $15
sunplum89
your dicks so cute
gojosprincealbert tipped $30
There were other messages. More donations.
Gerard didn’t read them.
He just clicked end stream.
Silence filled the room again.
He licked his bottom lip. It was swollen from biting it so much, and he could taste the faint metallic tang of blood.
He felt like the biggest goddamn loser in the world.
Then he looked at his earnings. $120.
One stream.
One fucking stream.
Gerard felt relieved, almost. Like people actually liked his streams. There was a little guilt there, and a lot of disbelief that anyone would even watch him. But mostly it was relief.
Gerard stared at the number for a second, then actually smiled at the screen.
He had message requests now. A lot of them. Some asking for weird shit. Some asking for even weirder shit. Almost all of them offering cash.
Because everyone had a price.
One stood out though.
xNausousx.
Gerard shut his laptop.
He stood up and moved over to the mirror to change out of the dress. The fabric slid off his shoulders and down his body as he peeled it away, tossing it onto the chair nearby. The bra came next, then the panties.
He stared at himself in the mirror for a second longer than he meant to.
Then he pulled on his usual pajamas.
The same ones he’d worn for weeks.
The ones with the pinup girls printed all over them.
Black shirt. Boxers.
Same old, same old.
He flopped face-first onto the bed without even bothering to clean up.
He didn’t shower.
Didn’t wash his hands.
He lived in filth anyway.
Gerard rolled onto his side after a moment, staring at the dark laptop screen across the bed.
As much as he wanted to pretend he had better things to do, he didn’t.
So he reached over and opened it again.
sunplum89
can you send me a voice message ?? call me mommy pls :)):):)) 40 bucks for you xo
Gerard blinked at the message.
Girls watched him too.
Apparently they were into the vulnerable shit just as much as the guys were.
He laid on his belly and propped the laptop in front of him, kicking his feet lazily in the air behind him. His chin rested in his palm as he pressed the voice record button.
“hi m..mom—”
Gerard immediately dropped his head into the pillow and deleted the recording.
He couldn’t help the quiet giggle that escaped him.
The request was so ridiculous.
He tried again.
Failed again.
Eventually he stared up at the ceiling like he was asking for guidance from whatever the hell might be up there.
“Lock in,” he muttered to himself.
He rubbed his face once, then hit record again.
“Hi mommy… you’re doing so great…” Gerard said, putting a little edge in his voice this time, leaning into it.
That was probably the trick.
Pretend to be into it.
He hit send, smiling to himself with a suppressed laugh still sitting in his throat. His cheeks were faintly pink and his eyes were still glassy from the lingering afterglow.
sunplum89
omg you’re so hot thx xo
sunplum89 sent $40
Gerard snorted quietly at that and opened another message.
From a familiar sender.
xNausousx
what’s up with the good boy on stream
u thinking about me u whore
loose slut u got such a pretty pussy
I still wanna see ur hole
Gerard shifted slightly on the bed.
He hated how his cock twitched inside his boxers the moment he read it.
He should find those comments dehumanizing.
But he didn’t.
He found them hot.
Nothing to do with you
I want 200 bucks
For what
my hole
yeah the fuck right
what you think I’m cheap
If you asked anyone, $200 still wouldn’t be nearly enough.
And if it were anyone else asking, Gerard probably would’ve made it higher.
But for some reason he kept gravitating toward xNausousx.
He didn’t know why.
no I know ur not
u shouldn’t be
ur sexy as hell
Gerard bit absently at the inside of his cheek as he read that.
The guy wasn’t exactly romantic.
But it still felt like flirting.
give me a couple days
okay
want a call tho
maybe
maybe my ass
or your ass
I bet u’d like it if I was up ur ass huh you whore
fuck you
u’d like that
I wish
Gerard finally went offline after that.
Mostly because he realized he was actually enjoying talking to this guy.
This old man.
Or at least the old man he assumed he was.
He checked his balance again.
Close to $200 already.
Maybe this was a terrible idea.
Maybe it was something he’d regret one day when he was old and wrinkled—if he even made it that far—thinking back on his porn camboy days.
He was only a week in.
And he wished he hated it more.
Or maybe he didn’t.
He wasn’t even sure himself.
But it was good money.
—