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You have forgotten what you are doing once again. Even Gods can get lost in thought, it turns out. They just risk forgetting whole lifetimes rather than an evening's meal.
What are you doing? Oh yes.
Your form barely moves as you scan the festivities to find your one time companions in varying levels of sobriety and a pervasive unease suffused across the site of your journeys' start.
None come to pay their respects.
They keep their distance, their eyes unable to bear even your visage it appears. All eyes that is, but his.
Astarion, you have noted, has looked at little else but you since your arrival--you know not why such a response would be warranted. You have missed no prayers nor signs of his devotion; can think of no reason for the intensity of his gaze. And yet, for all his eyes behold, he has yet to approach with an offering. There is so much they could achieve together, if he would but ask.
You tire of his games and meet his ruby eyes with cold stone and he flinches, not enough for most to notice, mind, but you are decidedly not most. Your answering grin is painted with starlight and you do not understand the war of emotion that flits across his face as you turn towards the river.
He will speak with you when he is ready, and soon enough, you hear his near soundless approach to join you at the water's edge.
"You know, I wasn't quite sure if you would make an appearance, darling." You can feel the sneer, as if he is somehow able to burn it into nonexistent flesh. "What with your godliness and being so far above us and all." He seethes as you turn to face those rubies, and there is a malice to his grin that once more confuses you.
"Well met, Astarion! Have you come to pay your respects?"
"My respects?" He titters in response. "No, I rather think not, my sweet".
Astarion circles you as if you are made of stone, fixing you with his glare as you patiently wait for an explanation.
"I've come to thank you, you foolish man", his eyes widen as he invades closer into your space, looking for a reaction and disappointed to find none.
"Thank me for what, Astarion? I am not your patron." Your words seem to echo into the spaces between your bodies. Astarion's maniacal grin only deepens.
"I want to thank you, my dear Gale, for breaking my poor little rotten heart the way you did." His hands dance beside his words, a haunting duet of phrase and intention. "You see," Astarion bows his head in mock deference, and you watch unblinking as he speaks with mild disinterest. "Your abandonment is the last thing that weak spawn needed to let go."
He flicks his fingers to the air and you refrain from following the motion as his eyes return to find yours. "He had it is his mind, you know, that this whole marvelous Ascension of mine was a mistake. That you would right his wrongs and save him from himself". His laugh is like glass. "The poor little fool practically died screaming your name. When he realized you left him here to suffocate," he points one delicate finger to his temple, "why, I dare say he rather lost the plot."
Astarion shifts slightly as his gaze scans the festivities. "And now, well", his nose crinkles with distain at the sight, "now we don't need anyone".
He seems to pull himself straighter at this sentiment, and straighter still until once more he reaches your eyes. You watch curiously as he hesitates and you think perhaps now he will start asking for your favor, when his acerbic tone pulls you from your thoughts.
"Did you even spare him a thought as you ascended to the heavens? While he wallowed and wasted away as I slowly took his place? 7,000 souls and he couldn't even save his own." Your eyes focus on Astarion's mouth as he clicks his tongue with a minute shake of his eternally coiffed curls.
His words confuse you, which must show on your features as he scoffs. "What a romantic love then, yes, to have you forget such a little thing like saving your supposed fiancé." He laughs and the sound dies on his lips as he takes in your blank visage. There is a pause, a breath.
"You don't remember." He whispers it to the evening breeze as it dances towards the crowd. It is not a question.
"Did you not come to seek my favor?"
You watch as Astarion moves away from you slightly, as much a retreat as a dismissal. "Thank you, but no," he manages to spit out as he withdraws further, "I make it a habit these days to depend only upon my own favor."
You can sense the tightening of concern on your face and it feels like an unnatural contortion of your features--emotions that are no longer yours to process nor to understand. You watch Astarion closely as he seems to vacillate between responses and settle on an unaffected sigh, returning swiftly to his earlier conversational malaise.
"Well I suppose this is for the best." His eyes do not return to yours and his words ring hollow in your ears. "I do wonder, though, what it is to miss something you can no longer feel."
He turns to you now, and his eyes fall just shy of your own, his hand raising as though by instinct to cradle your jaw with pale fingers. It seems almost like the anticipation of a kiss until his nails attempt to burrow into your skin. Absently, he speaks, "You're leaking, darling". He breaks the connection with a flick of his wrist and begins to walk back towards the festivities, curling his fingers in a slight wave as he disappears into the night.
Your face is still creased with the ghost of emotion and you bring your fingertips to trail upon the path that slender hand traversed, only to pull back when you meet a foreign dampness near your eye. You ponder the silver liquid that greets you and wonder what new and great power this must be; what glory even your tears may unleash. You are vaguely aware of your former companions as the celebration slowly dissipates and all who gathered depart.
You do not see Astarion again and the tightening you feel in response to that fact must simply be a sign that one day he will return for your favor. A matter of foresight, surely, nothing more.
As you continue to ponder upon your growing power and the many wonderful paths that lay before you, your consciousness splinters across the universe of all that is now possible. Time has passed and when you once more come back to yourself, the sun is low in the evening sky and you are alone.
What were you doing again? It turns out even Gods can get lost in thought.