Chapter Text
But now Looking back...How is it to truly live?
How is it to take someone elses? How is it to live with the guilt of killing one who tried to help you? How is it to know that you are the one who ended it?
How is it to to be the one who put those foxgloves, the poison into the potion that would have saved her, the one who would let her see the world again. And not die with her last moment ending in the one where she tried to bandage you up, to care for you and only seconds later being petrified without being able to rescue her child ?
How is it to kill the one who wanted to adopt you and give you a life in the light?
Since Dazai got back to the Mafia he got worse, he barely ate and slept maximum 5 hours per night. He executed numerous traitors and killed countless innocent lives in his missions where he always risked his live only to then get berated by Mori on why some enemies could flee...Mori. He was the worst, worse then his deceased father.
His father would atleast have the mercy to kill him and end his misery of living in the dark, to live as a demon. But no, Mori would always have that slimy tone in his voice while smiling at him, always forcing him to wear those dresses Elise always wore, sending him to the kennels, dancing with him, touching him.
He didn't want to remember that, but it wasn't possible. He just wanted,...he just wanted his friends back..
Screams echoed through the cold and dark Port Mafia dungeons, a sobbing that was more of a begging in agony.
"PLEASE I HAVE FAMILY THAT I HAVE TO TAKE CARE-" the scream of pure fear was silenced and turned into a pained quiet cry in a heartbeat by a sound of cracking bones.
BANG...BANG...BANG
Three loud shots of a MM9 pistol stung in the ears as the crying now subsided.
A new voice spoke up making the room feel even more unpleasant than before.
"A traitor is dead meat in the Port Mafia and you should know that, yet you still choose to try and escape. You really thought you could break out, didnt you?"
"Let this all be a lesson for you, dont think you can beat the clearly stronger" the boy turned around, his dark black coat swung in the air as he left the room where the boy just executed the latest traitor. His expression was neutral, Do what you were born for.
Another petty little traitor, but truly human, always searching for freedom where there is none, trying to break out from the impossible he thought, but just as he left the room he felt another presence.
"Ahh Hirotsu-san, what brings me the delight to see you here?" The boy grinned speaking in far lighter tones now
"Dazai-kun" the older voice replied.
Yes that is my name, Osamu Dazai. One of many, more mafioso titles, Demon Prodigy, The Black Wrath of the Port Mafia and many more, this is my job, my life i was born to kill
"The Boss wants to speak with you, in about 20 minutes" The man spoke in a calm and respectful tone.
The younger boys shoulders dropped but his expression almost was the same as before, almost
"Uggh lets that slimy old bastard one moment of peace for me?" before Dazai could add another insult he was cut off by Hirotsu
"He wants to check on your injuries, he is in the medical bay right now"
Ohhh right of course he 'just' wants to take a look at my wounds Dazai whisper to himself and sighed
"Well, thanks for that information Hirotsu, you can go now" with that the older man nodded and went the other way.
"Excatly what i needed right now" Dazai tried to sound sarcastic but it came out as a hiss, not that he minded, Mori is annoying enough to just think about, but meetings with him? Even worse
The Boy made his way through the Huge building passing many other mafiosi, of course of lower rank, as soon as he was up to the medical bay where he guesses that Mori would be somewhere in his private office, sadly he was correct.
A slimy voice made its way to dazais ears "Ahh Osamu my boy already here? i was expecting you to come in a bit later, not that i mind, its so refreshing to see you follow orders and arrive on time"
Dazai felt an urge to throw up that at statement of mori, why didnt he just throw himself of that bridge yesterday, he thought. His mind was interrupted by the disgusting voice.
"Anyway, i wanted to check on your injuries and talk to you about your new mission" Dazai had to repress an annoyed sigh at that. The older man made a gesture to dazai to sit on the medical bed and dazai did.
As soon as Dazai was sat Mori got to work and started to unravel some bandages on dazais face and continued.
"You will be going to Hogwarts again so make yourself ready, you'll get going tomorrow, i have already bought you a plane ticket to london, but the rest you have to get yourself"
The smaller ones eyes slightly widened at his words, Hogwarts? again? Is he being for real? Dazais thoughts were stopped by a sharp pain in his face, he looked to Mori who just sliced deep into a small part of his face right under his right eye with his scalpel, forcing him to focus again.
Dazai quickly applied pressure to the bleeding wound with his hand. Mori slapped his hand away "You dont want to get this infected Dazai, do you?"
The doctor took a bit of gauze and swept away the gushing blood, he applied antiseptic and put a fresh piece of gauze on it securing it with medical tape.
"Do i have to explain that-"
"Explain that distraction has no place in the mafia and leads to major mistakes, you dont have to tell me, old bastard"
"Want to repeat yourself, Osamu" the older man said slimy but had a threatening undertone.
The younger stayed quiet and rolled his eyes at him. Mori used it as an opportunity to wipe the blood off under dazais right eye where a few drops of blood have formed and put a small bandaid there.
"You're so cute when you fight back Osamu you know"
The doctor smiled creepy and the boy made an disgusted face expression.
Dazai kicked him in the shin as hard as he could, the older one didnt mind and continued looking at a few papers and dazais unbandaged skin, dazai looked away at the sight of his scarred arms most of them were fully healed but some were not and would need a few more days.
"Anyway you should try to not get any scars on the pretty face of yours, it would cause unwanted attention" The taller man informed him, but it was more a threatening order than a concern.
Dazai remembered, because of one of his latest punishments, the kennel with the dogs he collected a few more scars, which wouldn't be a problem if they wouldnt be on his face, but this was the case so he will need an excuse for it, i'll guess i'll make one on the spot if needed to.
Dazai dramatically yawned, "Is that all Mori or will you bore me to death?" Mori looked up as he was finished wrapping dazai in bandages again.
"Your mission plans. Of course you wont go to Hogwarts without reason, in fact you will only attend half the school year, you'll come back at winterbreak"
"You will get information about how the wizards handle Dumbledore's death and get information about Sirius Black. I honestly I didn't wan't to send you at first, because then i wouldn't be able to put you into these cute dresses!" Dazai's face sickened from the Man's slimy voice.
"But the information that could be won by you attending half the year is just way too good of a deal" Mori drew closer right next to Dazai's .
"You know what happens when you dont follow orders, now pack your bags, read the letter send from Hogwarts that is in your room, here is your plane ticket"
Dazai wanted to kick the Doctor into the face but the warm feeling at the thoughts of hogwarts, specificly of the hell hounds even snape was good stopped him, just the memory of poppy hurt, why did this happen i shouldn't have-...no he doesnt have empathy.. he doent have emotion. He isnt even human.
Mori gave him a plane ticket for tommorow the 28th october 05:00 AM Tokyo airport to London airport "Any questions?" as no reply came he continued.
"Good, you can go now" Dazai turned around almost out of the door as Mori stopped him.
"Osamu" Dazai recoiled at his name, the audacity of the older to call him by his first name.
"You remind me of someone Osamu dear,..."
"And who would that be?" was replied sharply holding back his hatred for the other.
The intimidating smile looked to the other. The brown almost red-ish eye met the lilac ones with a glare as he looked back,
"You remind me of Me, Osamu." a creepy smile was formed where the words were spoken, the man turned around going to his chair meaning this talk was over.
An uneasy feeling formed at the chest of the brunette standing next to the door, as soon as he was out of eye sight of the doctor he ran to his room.
Why am i feeling so nauseous, why am i such a fool, why am i so weak, why am i so pathetic, why am i-
-
Cold floor, White tiles? No red tiles, breathe, breathe! Dazai Snapped back to reality because of an weird loud sound of something trying to go through the door but it sounded like a bird.
Focusing back on his situation as his nose came in touch with the metallic smell of a very remembered scent Blood
Did i? "Why do i even question it?" dazai muttered to himself trying to get himself together and stand up while his whole body was shaking.
He was back on his feet and steadied his minimal weight on the sink with his stinging arms.
He let the water trickle down his arms washing most off the blood off his skin, the burning sensation calmed him but he needed to get himself ready for London.
Dazai turned off the water when the blood was fully washed of and only small red lines stayed, couldn't have been too deep Dazai declared himself and looked for his bandages which were in a cabinet in his bathroom, he unrolled them and precisely applied the new bandages to his arms.
Once he was satisfied of how they looked he cleaned the room of any left blood of his.
As soon as Dazai went through the door connecting to his room He was met with his feathered friend that had partially destroyed the door to try and break in, it would explain the sharp claw marks on the door. "Tried to get in Featherbrain?"
The still shaken boy muttered to the owl that immediately flew up and sat on Dazais shoulders and pecked gently on Dazais face with her beak trying to find out what happend and to calm her owner.
Dazai sat down on his bed and let the owl do what she wanted, "Gosh since when did you become a service animal?" He whisperd petting the owls soft head.His owl had infact calmed him, but Dazai would never admit that, he couldn't even admit that he would do these things to calm himself.
Dazai set Featherbrain down on his bed and petted the owl a few times more and calmed his breathing before getting up to his desk.
"Featherbrain, the damage you did on my bathroom door, do it on moris office door if you have time"
To his horror he found a mess of papers and letters, every single one scratched by claws, but Featherbrains were too big to be hers so another owl must have brought him mail, he looked at the first parchment he could see.
The Letter on top read: Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
Uniform
Students will require:
1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
2. One plain pointed hat (black) for the day
3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupils clothes should carry name tags
Books needed for year 3
The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 3
Intermediate Transfiguration
The Monster Book of Monsters (for Care of Magical Creatures) (optional)
Unfogging the Future (Divination)
Numerology and Grammatica (Arithmancy) (optional)
Home Life and Social Habits of British Muggles (Muggle Studies) (optional)
Spellman's Syllabary (Study of Ancient Runes) (optional)
The Essential Defence Against the Dark Arts
Please note that every student needs to take at least 1 optional subject for the 3rd year
Other Equipment
1 Wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
1 set glass or crystal vials
1 telescope
1 set brass scales
Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad#
As he was looking through the list of what he needed to buy for this year as Dazai realised he had to buy more books, the boy let out a small whine.
"Why do i put up with this" he dramatically wailed as he folded the letter into his pocket and then looked up just to see more letters
The poor owl who had to carry all this dazai thought as his hand made its way to the first letter.
"And the letter is fro-BLAISE?" Dazai accidentally spoke the last part a bit too loud for his own liking as he saw the name
Bloody hell How do you know my address?
Dazai noticed Bloody Hell? I hung out with the brits too much Dazai dramatically let out a whine at that and opened the letter
#Hi Dazai, It's me, Blaise. This is my 11th attempt of me sending letters so i hope you get it this time cause school starts soon and i can't send
another in time. Please Dazai write back, im really, really worried, i heard that even the Twins, Ron, Hermione and basically the whole gang tried to
write you, but you didnt reply to any. Please write back Dazai, please
Best regards
Blaise
Dazai was slightly dumbfounded at the sight of how many letters he must have missed, but at least his friend cared about him.
Oh right, Blaise is just too soft, the Hounds are too soft, These wizards with their warm-hearted thoughts.
How did I deserve my second in command, Blaise
He grinned before letting out a small snicker before moving on to the other letters. As he looked at the pile of letters he quickly noticed
to his astonishment that all the 23 left letters shared the same address and the same last name Weasley, Dazai questioned himself how he couldn't have guessed that the Twins would send him this many letters.
The poor owl who had to carry all this from London to here Dazai muttered to himself as he unfolded the mass of parchment which was making his desk a confusing mess of coffee colored papers.
As the first was open, specifically the latest written one his eyes were met with a messy handwritten text that was almost hurting the eye on contact.
DAZAI ARE YOU ALRIGHT? WE SENT ABOUT 20 LETTERS ALREADY, AND YOU HAVEN'T WRITTEN BACK FOR 8 WEEKS AND WE ARE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU ABOUT YOU DAZAI.
PLEASE WRITE BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE YOU'RE GIVING GEORGE AND ME A HEART ATTACK, EVEN RONNIE IS WORRIED ABOUT YOU SNAKEY. THERE ALSO HAPPENED A LOT AFTER
YOU LEFT HOGWARTS, WE WILL TELL YOU ONCE YOU GET BACK, PLEASE DON'T GET HURT SNAKEY, YOU KNOW WE WOULD KILL FOR OUR LITTLE BROTHER!
GREATEST REGARDS
-YOUR BIG BROS
Finally finished reading the awful text he looked to the first sent letter with Weasley on it which had acceptable, even readable sentences.
"Must have been really worried writing this, cause nothing else excuses THIS NASTY handwriting" Dazai mumbled commenting the last sent letter as he felt this warm feeling in his chest spreading.
Attachment?
Dazai shook off the thought before he could invest more time into it and put all the letters neatly back before looking for his suitcase he would take to Hogwarts. He pulled the biggest suitcase from under his bed and opened it.
The boy looked into his room and made a mental note on what he would need.
My money, Passport and similar, a bit of clothing, my phone with charger and powerba- wait will my phone even work in hogwarts with those magical spells. No Longer Human should deactivate it when i touch my phone but i'm not sure, i guess i'll surprise myself. My wand, my gloves, a few books...
Dazai put everything he needed into the suitcase and closed it securely, by the time he made sure he didnt forget anything his phone showed the time, #21:38#
I should be leaving soon Dazai reminded himself, he looked at his plane ticket, gate 8, 05:00...
Why does this scum Mori always have to choose the worst times humanly possible
The brunette put his ticket away into his coat pocket while letting out an annoyed groan.
The boy took the bird cage, opend it and pointed Featherbrain to it, the bird straight away flew-walked to the cage and entered.
"See you can get in without commotion" Dazai stuck a finger into the cage, ruffeled a few feathers and offered her a small rat he found this morning in the PM dungeons which she delightedly took into her beak.
"Just remember Ron does NOT want his abomination of rat killed, so remember how it looks, either way you would get sick eating that scum"
Dazai picked up the cage and put it next to his suit case gently placing it down.
He took his phone out and called Hirotsu
"Hello Dazai-kun did the meeting with mori go we-"
"Hirotsu-san! Always available just as i thought. So uhh i kinda need your help, you see i dont have a car and neither do i have driving skills.
So could you drive me from the PM headquarters to the Tokyo airport? I dont trust any random taxi driver around here and i dont think mori hired a driver for this mission"
"..."
"Please?"
"Yes,...sure, of course i do it im just questioning myself if im your subordinate or personal driver at this point"
"Oh come on i dont ask you that often"
"This is the 4th time this week"#
"Thats not that ba-"
"Its monday..."# Dazai heard a loud sigh through the phone #"meet me at meeting point HA G28"
"Oh i think im gona die from this kindness what a wonderfull way to go~" Dazai said histrionically and as expected
PEEP PEEP PEEP He hung up.
"UHH WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME?" The boy dramatically sulked as he flung his arms into the air where Featherbrain only gave him an annoyed look.
"OH COME ON YOU TOO? EVEN MY PET IS AGAINST ME?! BETRAYAL" Dazai 'cried' into his arms where the dark grey owl only turned around in her cage when Dazai stopped his mischief.
"Ok i will stop, mean owl" The small boy took finally his suitcase and owl cage with featherbrain inside and left the room and headed towards the meeting point.
"Hirotsu! Fancy seeing you here" Dazai grinned walking towards the older mafioso
"Lets just make this quick" The slightly annoyed Hirotsu sighed breathing a bit of smoke out
"Understood sir!" The energized teen said already putting his suitcase in the car trunk of the black car, he took the cage and put it in the back of the car next to where he would sit, quickly he took as planned the seat next to Featherbrain and waited for Hirotsu to finish his cigarette.
The older took the driving seat and started the engine "Happy to get back to school?" The older asked
"HUH HOW DO YOU KNOW?" Dazai screeched
"Just because im old doesnt mean i am forgetful" Hirotsu declared a slight hint of a hiss was in his tone but it didnt carry any poison and
"I still remember that meeting with this old wizard, he may be strong and all but he cant do anything against No Longer Human"
The irritated man rubbed his temple already burnt out from Dazais daily antics.
"At least i dont have to deal with you everyday for the next months" Hirotsu said relieved under his breath
"What did you say?" The boy raised a brow
"Forget it"
Dazai sat comfortably in his seat in business class getting away from mori 11,000 meters over the ground hearing music and watching clouds passing by.
I'll see Blaise again, i'll see Fred and George again, i'll get to see Draco...I'll get to see my gang, my subordinates, my friends
But what will i do? Poppy? I killed her, I... Everything will be investigated and so i will be... What will Snape think if he finds out?...
What if he already found out?
Dazai clawed his armrest his breathing deepening as he looked outside the window somewhere into the the clouds
Somewhere in the Scottish Highlands a man was still awake at midnight, although he should start getting ready for teaching classes but he had other goals, searching for answers...proof.
He had already read multiple books and even had bought a modern device as a smartphone which was new to him and was only delievered yesterday, just to look in the internet for answers.
Severus Snape was on the end of his nerves, or more his sanity. His sleep schedule was horrible over the summer break, since Pomfrey's misery and...
He was trying to complete Poppy's last wish. The one he made with her trying to get the child away from that horrible man, but right now... he was doing everything in he could but he wasnt able to complete the last wish of the deceased Poppy.
Dumbledore's death was also another problem but it had its good sides, as in that McGonagall was more supportive in the 'Problem Child Case' than the now dead Dumbledore.
But the absolute despair of Severus was the fact that Dazai didnt give any sign of life, he sent multiple letters which are still unanswered, he already knew that if Dazai returned to that house he may die in that house.
He couldn't imagine the thought of his problem child bleeding out injuries caused by that filthy predator. He needed to get him out of there as soon as possible, even if the child doesnt want the help Snape wont back down until he has the kid under his care away from Mori.
Snapes sneered when he thought about that man. Severus didnt feel that much hatred for a single person ever in his life.
He looked back onto some notes he stuck into some books, he bought multiple, one about Kanagawa, one about special magical conditions and at least 3 about how to take care of abused kids.
In the Kanagawa book in the chapter Yokohama he found out that there is a vicious Mafia that makes the whole Port unsafe "The Port Mafia"
Severus rememberd that name, Poppy already told him, and the fact that the book had nothing else about the Port Mafia explains their power over the whole city Yokohama.
He also found something about "Ability Users" and how they are mostly populated in Yokohama, he remembered that Dumbledore once talked about them but he forgot the rest of it.
It read
Ability Users are a part of the magic users, but they dont have to be wizards/witches, instead they have one 'Ability' which can be anything
superhuman reaching from superhuman strength, creations of 'ghost similar guards' up to elemental control or even mind control. Every Ability is soul based, meaning there is an almost non-existent chance that two Users have the same ability. They are almost found everywhere but the most are sighted in Yokohama.
He didn't like that information, Severus realised that there was a high chance that this Port Mafia has Ability Users in its ranks and it concerned him even more.
His head hung low, his belief in humanity fell apart once more. He couldnt help, maybe Dazai was already dead and he could do nothing about it.
Thinking about it made his throat hurt and tighten even more with agonising worry about his child.
How can I help you problem child? When will you let me help you.