Chapter Text
Cold, hard, and damp are probably the least likely adjectives to describe a comfortable resting place. Unfortunately those three sensations were exactly what greeted Leonard when he started coming to. Drowsily he turned his face down into whatever was underneath his head hoping to find the smooth of satin sheets and the scent of something clean and familiar. Instead he inhaled a nose-full of petrichor. He rolled away from the smell, blinking his eyes open to find exactly what he suspected. He was lying in dirt.
"For Chrissake." Bones groaned, drawing his limbs towards him and then stretched them out, pushing dark soil in an almost snow angel fashion around him in the process. Begrudgingly he pushed himself up onto his elbows, finding his pale blue nightclothes stained, near translucent, and clinging to him. "How the hell did I get here?"
All around him were waves of meters high shrubs stretching up to a domed glass ceiling that let in the orange hues of early morning sky. Bushels towered over him with bright green stems, trios of pinnately serrated leaflets and petals shading from white to pink. In the center of each blossom was a bright yellow cluster of pistils. Their fragrance colored with chlorophyll and geraniol making the air mild and charmingly floral.
'Wild roses,' the warm memory of a voice supplied. 'Iowa's state flower.'
Bones wasn't exactly sure how or why he knew that but he was sure it was right. His throat was dry and aching, perhaps from sleeping with his mouth open. He swallowed thickly hoping it would help. It didn't really, not enough saliva. There was something else in his mouth too. It was stuck on the tip of his tongue. A name. He was thinking of someone and for the life of him he couldn't remember their name. The flowers. The voice. Nothing made sense. He needed to get out of there. Bones pushed his palms into the ground and bent up his knees but he couldn't manage to leverage his hips over his feet. His elbows wobbled inward and his biceps strained. Bones huffed in frustration, rolling onto his side, then to his knees step by step. He bent his left leg up and planted his foot into the ground as if he were about to pop the question but instead he tried desperately to heave himself upright. This only served to make him dip forward dizzily, putting his palms out on instinct to brace for imminent impact. Thankfully recovered his equilibrium before getting a mouthful of dirt cake. He deflated back onto the ground with mixture of defeat and paranoia brewing in his chest. He hadn't always been this weak. Someone must have done this to him. The thought ran like cold sweat down his spine. Maybe he was drugged with some sort of paralytic agent— something that was meant to immobilize him fully but failed. Shit. He curled his fists against his temples and tried to knock some memory of who had taken him loose.
Then he heard footsteps. Latent tactile training in the back of Bones' mind revealed itself and clicked into place. He patted himself down quickly, checking his pockets and waist band. No phaser. No communicator. He was on his own. The only option was to lie down again and try to school himself back into a calm state. He closed his eyes and listened. The steps were even and measured as they drew closer, not immediately threatening to him. He took some solace in that, perhaps his captor thought he was still unconscious. Once the paralytic wore off, if he was careful enough, he could catch them of guard.
"Leonard?"
Mercifully it seemed there would be no need for a surprise offensive.
"Spock!" The tense muscles in Bones' chest relaxed and his heart leapt joyfully to fill the newly opened space as he saw the Vulcan come into view.
He was older than Bones was expecting, softer too. Gray chipped away at the once obtuse wall of black bangs he'd sported as long as Bones had known him. Life had etched deep wrinkles by his mouth and the corners of his eyes from decades of letting micro-expressions slip through the cracks in his composed demeanor. His stature which had always curved slightly in on itself had grown from a slouch to a pronounced hunch with age, dressed in a long white night gown and sensible house slippers. Despite the myriad of inconsistencies between this man and the Vulcan of Bones' memory, there was nothing within him that expressed true suspicion or distrust. It was intrinsic, he knew Spock when he saw him. Spock offered him a hand up and Bones' skin hummed where the calluses of their palms were worn to fit one another. He went willingly along, draw into the crook of Spock's elbow, looping their arms together for support.
Now properly righted and steady on his feet, the world around them seemed considerably less intimidating. It was a garden of some sort. A central path of hexagonally interlocked silicate pavers lay just three meters from where Bones had fallen into an empty plot. They cut a clean line from a high-arched glass entryway door to a grove a middling fruit trees at the heart of the greenhouse, lined on either side by trellised wild roses. The glass roof came to a pyramidal point at it's apex. An aperture like series of panels adjust to the harsh daylight of Vulcan regulating the enclosed environment. That morning while the air was still cooled the panels parted letting in a flood of orange fire glow.
"It's beautiful here, like a children's tale." Bones concluded after surveying the landscape for several moments in an awed silence. "I feel like there ought to be playing card soldiers running around trying to paint the roses red."
"Beautiful indeed." Spock nodded approvingly towards the foliage but was very blatantly admiring his companion out of the corner of his eye. "Courtesy of your diligent effort."
His diligent effort? The words stirred something up, knocking the dust off a series of images in his mind. His brow crumpled as he watched them play out on the screen in front of his eyes. Yes. He had been here before hadn't he? He spent hours, days on end here, hauling dirt, spreading it out flat then tilling it. Extracting seeds from rose hips, germinating them, calibrating the garden's temperature regulation system to keep them cool enough to sprout but warm enough not to freeze. Why had he done it? Why did he remember crying all night after the roses withered in the face of their first simulated winter? He knew they would be back in spring. Bones remembered hoping with fear and anxiety, waiting for the blossoms to come back in spring and the joy when they started budding again. That first bloom was a sure sign then that the experiment was a success and that roses could be grown on Vulcan soil. Bones also remembered planting these flowers in memory of someone, but in whose memory? Bones even remembered selecting the color, the specimen of the rose, but he couldn't remember what were his reasons for doing so, it was all lost to the sands of time. Bones knew that the flower specimen, the color, the life cycle of the roses were supposed to mean something and to be a metaphor for something, but he couldn't grasp onto what was it.
Spock's side pressed into his, bringing Bones back to the present. He frowned down at his attire. He was drenched. "I guess the computer watered me along with the flowers."
"It appears so. You will have to strip."
"Strip!" Bones' head shot back up at warp speed and found Spock's eyes roving about his backside. He felt himself starting to burn up. "You— You're flirting with me!"
"I am trying to prevent the onset of hypothermia." Spock met his accusation with the subtlest curl of his lips. "You will bathe while I make breakfast."
Bones isn't exactly a fan of people telling him he 'will' do something, but hell, who was he to refuse an offer like that? The two of they strolled in tandem down the path, leading them into a tall, arched hallway, unlit save for the light streaming in from the greenhouse. There they found a walker laying overturned with it's horseshoe arrangement of wheels up in the air. Bones shuddered to imagine how he possibly got as far as he did into the garden on his own. Probably crawling on his hands and knees like a dog. Spock righted the aid, checking it for damage before guiding his counterparts' elbows into their supports. Bones felt his back straighten up, aligning his hips and knees soothing some of the pressure on his joints. He felt much more confident with the rubber grips in his grasp and hand brake at his disposal. From down the hall came the sound of flat sandals against tile. Bones squinted in the dim light at the mostly indistinct shape of someone approaching them.
"Computer, lights to 75%." He called out and the recessed lights lined down the center of the ceiling obliged. The stranger stopped a polite three steps away from them. They were on the short side but straight in their posture, presenting themselves as the contemporary picture of Vulcan. Their ears were punctuated by carefully laid swirls artfully arranged in what a human might call finger waves. Their shoulders were broadened by the high neckline of their dress which otherwise hung loosely down past their knees.
"Ambassador. Doctor." They gave each of them a respective nod, tucking a PADD into what was presumably a pocket hidden by folds of fabric. "Good morning." They were wise enough not to comment on the unusual state of the pair but Bones still felt a sudden self-consciousness imagining how he probably looked. Bones was confused who this person was, why they were here, what they were doing in his garden without his permission and how did this person know him and Spock. Bones subconsciously clung to Spock, making himself smaller and hiding himself behind Spock. Bones was deep down scared of this intimidating aura that the stranger gave off. Bones wanted to demand them to get out and to not come back. Bones didn't know why but he didn't like them at all. As a matter of fact, Bones very rarely interacted with many people outside of his loved ones and friends because he got overwhelmed and overstimulated a great deal as of lately. Bones had fleeting grasps of a memory of himself feeling alone, scared and crying and holding onto a stuffed animal as a kind and gentle caregiver tried to reason with him and calm him while Spock was away somewhere, probably to never be seen or heard again.
"Former Ambassador, Lovar." Spock reminded them politely, seemingly unsurprised by their presences."My resignation is final. You may call me Spock."
"Forgive me, Mr. Spock, of course."
They, whoever they were, seemed pleased by that, in a very subdued Vulcan way of course. It only served to make him more unnerved. Clearly this was someone he was meant to know. He hated that feeling, the not-knowing. The only one in the room to be ignorant. Spock knew them, called them what was it? Lovar? He noticed a silver rectangle pinned to them about where a combadge would be. The metal was embossed with some curlicue he assumed was Vulcan script followed by a phonetic standard pronunciation "Lo-var." And some small piece of the puzzle clicked into place. He'd seen something like this before at a Federation medical conference, a name-tag. They were a nurse. He trusted nurses, he was a doctor! Still, nothing explained why there was a nurse there now, in what was presumably "home." He knew enough to understand that nurses outside of hospitals were bad news. House calls were almost completely a thing of the past, on Earth and Vulcan alike, unless someone was so ill they couldn't leave home. Immunocompromisations, cancer, Bendii Syndrome, hospice care were among the top most frightening things that stirred in his mind. Everything circled around to the initial question: why was this nurse here? Was it Spock? If Spock was that sick he would say something… right?
But Bones never liked making assumptions, he liked to ask questions and double check, so he asked "What's your name? How did you get here? Who let you in? Who are you?" Bones pleaded to Spock "Who is this person? Why are they here? Get me out of here!" Bones clung to Spock tightly as he hid, scared for his life. Bones' mind simply couldn't make the connection that Lovar was his nurse. Bones asked Spock "Spock…are they…here for you? What's going on sweetie?"
"Peace, Leonard." Spock spoke to him gentle but firm, holding his arm and his eye line. "Lovar is our caretaker. It is only logical that in our advancing age we require more assistance."
Bones felt warmth, love, serenity and calm wash over him with those words, hearing Spock's voice speaking and reaching to him through the telepathic bond, it was like finding a island in a storm with a lighthouse whose light unfailingly shone through the fog. It was like finding light in a dark tunnel after so long in the darkness and Bones felt warmth and steadiness around him when he had been so unsure moments ago. A memory of the words 'Through sickness and through health' brushed through Bones' mind as he smiled "Oh yes…yes of course. A little help here and there is nice."
"That is all I intend to provide, Doctor." Bones looked back at Lovar, they seemed less strange now and their tone seemed sincere. "I will perform my duties as unobtrusively as possible."
Bones grinned "Well why didn't you say so Lovar? Would you like some tea? Or maybe some delicious sugar cookies? I know Spock told me Vulcans can't eat chocolate chips, but nobody has to know you ate some chocolate…right?"
Lovar raised their eyebrows looking to Spock briefly for reassurance before visibly relaxing slightly, "Yes. I suppose I could try a cookie without my superiors being notified just this once." They paused. "Would you wish to get dressed first?"
"Hm?" Bones looked down and found wear his night shirt brushed against the lever release of his walker. Right, he was still all dirty. "I should, shouldn't I? We're having cookies not mud pies!"
Bones followed with Lovar and Spock back into their small secluded bungalow, and he could instantly feel the coolness hit him as he entered the bungalow. The place had elements of Vulcan and Earth architecture and Bones yawned lazily as he sat down on the couch in the living room, which had an unobstructed view of the kitchen and he grabbed a toy whale and held it close, hugging it as he leaned his head on Spock's shoulder. Bones hummed a soft song, he couldn't recognize what it was, who sang it or what era it was from, but it had a nice rhythm to it, it brought back memories of a crackling campfire, a harp, and a voice that once rang so strong, now forever silent.
Bones was gently guided to the modified shower and he gripped the handle bars as he stepped into the tub with Spock's help and gentle encouragement and then Bones sat down on the shower chair as Spock helped him slowly undress from his soiled clothes and then Spock turned on the water, ensuring it was the perfect temperature before activating the shower head and Spock helped Bones shower down. Spock helped Bones with shampooing his hair and massaging the fine silvery white hair. Bones just kept softly humming and playing with the bubbles and lather as it slid down his shoulders and arms. Then Spock applied conditioner Bones's hair after washing off the shampoo and used gentle and hydrating body wash all over Bones's wrinkly and crepey skin, every inch of Bones was just so handsome and attractive to Spock and it made him want to take care of his husband even more, to see how much Bones had matured over the years. Spock pressed a few kisses to Bones's skin and Bones giggled "Aww you are so lovely Spock, I love you, loveeee you…always and forever."
Spock replied with warmth "And I will always love you too, even if all the stars were to burn out."
It was a powerfully intimate and loving moment as Spock washed off all the conditioner and body wash with his gentle hands and Bones reached over and kissed Spock's hands and fingers and Spock blushed a deep green, his heart in his abdomen fluttering as their love, it was more powerful and mature even though the lust had mostly faded into the background. Spock then helped Bones dry off after shutting off the water and he helped Bones get dressed in fluffy and casual clothing that he could tolerate without much irritation or sensory issues. Spock helped Bones step into comfortable slippers and then Bones grabbed onto his walker and they gently padded into the living room, the mud from the leather couch all wiped up and Bones sat down with a soft groan, his eyes sliding closed as he watched a classic tv show and he started snoring.
Bones then suddenly remembered "Oh…uh…cookies…yes…I should give Lovar a cookie…" and he stood up to fetch some cookies from the tupperware that he had stored them in. Bones found the tupperware box and placed several cookies on a plate for Lovar and he asked Spock "Sweetie, please pour Lovar some tea, this thermos is as heavy as a…agh forget it, you know what I mean." and he handed them the cookies and sat down with a pleased smile on his face.
He was humming to himself quietly when he saw the painting in the corner and he remembered "Oh yes, my project! Oh yes." and Bones cheerfully stood up and walked over to the canvas, the painting was in the form of the Enterprise, sailing among the star studded night sky, the grays, reds, blues and all the vibrant hues of the brilliant colors all melding together into one stunning photo. Bones hummed as a classic song played in the background while he painted some of the details in, losing himself in the mechanics of memory: the sounds of the dials, the swishing of the turbolifts, the sounds of the heart monitor beeping.
Bones even recited the words by heart "Space, the final frontier…these are the voyages of the Starship…Enterprise" and he smiled proudly to himself before giggling as he joked "More like Space, disease, danger and darkness. Nobody tell Jim that of course, he will never listen to me."
Then it hit him. Jim. Wild roses are from Iowa. Jim. He'd forgotten him.
"Spock? Sweetie? When is Jim coming home? Where is he? Where has he gone?"
Spock swallowed tightly, these moments were often like walking a tightrope, a fine art of lying and seasoning it with some truths, but mostly lies as Bones would only get defensive, scream and cry if Spock told him the truth that Jim was dead, dead for a very very long time. Spock just simply lied with the kindest voice "Jim is away at work as he has been caught up in a meeting with the Admiralty. He's currently at Starfleet HQ and will be back by the end of the day."
By then, Bones would have largely, if not entirely forgotten about Jim. Bones looked down, trying to process the explanation, then he shrugged "I suppose those jackalopes have nothing better to do than to keep him in meetings. Oh well." and Spock relaxed as Bones bought the lie and Bones went back to painting and humming. Spock knew the song, it was the song they all sang at Yosemite, the song was "Row, Row, Row your boat." It was the only song Bones ever sang or hummed nowadays as he happily painted away.
Suddenly a phone call came. Lovar informed Spock that it was from the office of the Ambassador and implied, logically, it would be rude to ignore. Spock agreed and stepped just out of sight. Bones was confused who was calling. The Ambassador? Something about that seemed wrong. From Spock's firm and frustrated voice, he could tell his husband was unhappy, he hoped it wasn't at him. He dipped a soiled brush into his cup of water and swirled it watching red paint diffuse out it. It looked like blood. Bones was never squeamish but looking at it still made him feel sick. Maybe the phone call was about Jim? Blood and Jim and something dark swirled all around in his head. It was like he got stuck, pointlessly mixing water and paint long after his brush was cleaned off.
"Doctor?" Lovar was at his side. Bones came back to himself at the of their voice and blinked hard a few times to reset. They had a stain of chocolate at the left corner of their mouth. Vulcans weren't supposed to have chocolate. It made him want to giggle, something that he'd been doing a lot of recently.
Bones then overheard Spock icily growling to whoever was on the other end of the phone "And who is going to look after my husband, the love of my life who has severe dementia and can't be left alone for even a minute? Oh and not to mention that last time I went on an assignment, he had a major panic attack, started screaming and crying and yelling out my name despite the caregiver trying to reassure him that I was on my way back and he yelled a few choice words. There is no amount of words or conviction or urgency that could ever convince me to come back. EVER. My husband is the love of my life and I will never put Leonard through that sort of fear ever again if I can help it!"
Dementia. Panic. Love of my life. The words flung through the air hit Bones square in the chest and then bounced back off. His hand slipped from the grip of his walker and he went backward a step. Thankfully Lovar caught him with a steady palm to his back. He never heard Spock so angry before. He not only heard it but he felt it. When he yelled it sent lightening bolt through their bond and into his veins. Yet Bones wasn't scared. He understood now. Spock wasn't angry at him, he angry for him. Something this Ambassador whoever said about him made Spock— caring, gentle, considerate Spock— snap. And Lord have mercy was it hot. The lightening left a lingering heat all throughout him and he couldn't help but smile. Lovar jumped back from him quickly and Bones' smile cracked giving way to fits of laughter. Poor Vulcan, clearly they read whatever unholy message his mind was sending out. He leaned forward, doubling onto his walker for support. Laughing so hard made his knees shaky but he couldn't care less. Spock was pissed. Bones never been prouder of him before in his life. He was sure of that.
When Spock reentered the scene he was standing up ram-rod straight with his hands clasped behind his back. A clear indication to anyone who knew him that he was feeling rather sheepish. The green tint to his ears didn't help his case. Just looking at him made Bones want to run over to him and kiss him senseless but he wasn't exactly in shape enough to pull that off. Instead he waved him over with a coy "Come here."
Spock's eyebrows shot up and hit the ceiling but he obliged. He stopped at his side, turned towards the forgotten easel in front of them where the Enterprise stood watching.
"The consistency of your brush strokes is improving." He said like it meant anything to anyone.
"Nuh uh." Bones waggled a finger in front of his face, "Not this time. You can't distract me." Spock turned to him with a look that said he very much doubted that, "You yelled at someone on my behalf, don't deny it!"
"My reaction to the Ambassador's illogical request was within reason." Spock stiffened, quickly looking around behind them for Lovar. He had forgotten to take them into account before he had his emotional outburst. Mercifully it seemed they made themselves scarce. Spock relaxed slightly, looking back at his husband who was giving him what is scientifically known as 'goo goo eyes.' He relented. "I suppose I may have miscalculated exactly how much emotion was required."
Bones giggled and smirked "Look at you my sexier Clark Gable…all hot and bothered for me" and he leaned in, puckering his lips for a kiss and he kissed Spock with all affection and love, his body had not forgotten how to love, even though his mind was slowly fading away day by day. Bones suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion overwhelm him, his body was tired and he was sleepy as he murmured "I'm sorry Spock…"
"Rest, Leonard. I will be here when you wake." Spock brushed his lips against his temple, shrugging off a top layer of frabic and tucking it around him before stepping back.
The romantic moment was lost to exhaustion as Bones shuffled his way back to the couch and lay down on it, his sleepiness overwhelming him as he closed his eyes, cuddling Spock's prayer shawl and the stuffed toy whale close as he fell asleep. Bones had been sleeping more and more as of lately, his body was steadily giving up on him even though Bones was fighting everyday to live, to see another day. Bones knew subconsciously a special day was coming up, but he couldn't remember what it was. Was it Father's Day? Spock's Birthday? Joanna's birthday? Federation Day? Bones was wracking his head to try and remember, but he gave up and let sleep take him under as he dreamed.
Dreams were funny things. They were light and nebulous during naps like this. Full of pictures of people, pictures of him, snapshots of some past life back dropped by distant extraterrestrial landscapes. Voices drifted in and out. He caught on to the words sometimes just before they slipped through his fingers again. Footsteps padded around him. Bones stirred but he couldn't be bothered enough to try and follow them. He was already off somewhere with vermilion skies, slate ruins and tall brush grass. Salt and plums.'He's all yours, Plum.' Something brushed against his forehead, he turned towards it. Nothing was there but it didn't matter much. A new scene began somewhere greener with a blue sky and pond. Like Earth in many ways, but quieter. There weren't any birds or bugs. Bones liked dreaming like this. Being nowhere and everywhere at once, flicking through the back catalogue and only reviewing his greatest hits. At night he sank far too deep into his mind. Having to claw and kick and scream his way out. Sometimes he heard himself, most often he didn't. Thankfully he never remembered what had made him so damn afraid. Some things were better lost.
'I was lost until you both found me.'
'I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll always love you both.'
'Life without you both is life without the sun and the moon.'
Vulcan has no moon. Bones remembered fleeting sensations of pleasure, of desire, love, of grief, anger, loss, hurt, of warmth, strength, harmony, discord, of home. The dreams soon faded and Bones woke up to his daughter T'Leia smiling softly but sadly. Bones felt warm like she was the sun shining down at him. Little T'Leia June, almost T'Leia May but she was a whole week late. It was worth it in the end, the extra week of discomfort to see her face all crumpled up and green flushed. 3.2 kilograms and 55 center meters, always lanky. Someone called her green bean for awhile, Spock did not like that very much at all. Bones blinked and he saw T'Leia had someone with her. He frowned. He couldn't remember that nice lady's name. She had her arms around her, hugging herself. He wondered who she was, but he just couldn't remember as he asked as casually as possible "I'm Leonard, what's your name? I'm very pleased to meet you."But apparently from their brief worried glances, it seemed like the wrong question to ask. He was always asking the wrong questions.
T'Leia replied "It's all right dad, just relax."
But of course, as a hospitable southern gentleman, Bones tried to get up and fetch cookies for the woman who seemed very teary and about to break down sobbing. He found he couldn't get up to his feet. His legs must be asleep. He settled for sitting up as straight as he could to seem awake. He looked back to the woman, he picked up on the sorrow on her face and he worried "Did…Did I say something wrong? I ah…I remember only asking…her name…I think…" and he sobbed "I'm trying to remember…I'm trying so hard. I swear I am."
"Papa, it's me!" The unknown woman began, "It's me, J—" But Lovar, who had returned when they received an alert that Bones' heart rate was elevated, placed a hand on her shoulder silencing her.
"Forgive me, Ms. McCoy, your father is too distressed for conversastion right now." They stepped in front of her almost like a shield. "Doctor, you are safe and with friends. I need to check your vitals, may I do so?" They approached him with the grace and caution of a Sehlat trainer, a hypo in one hand, the other remained open palmed. They couldn't be serious, he knew a sedative when he saw one.
At this point, Bones was just so unhappy that he was flapping his arms and he growled "Get me out of here! Someone get me out of here! I need to leave! DAD GET ME OUT OF HERE! JIIIIIM!" and Bones looked at the two strange women, their facial features unrecognizable, the place looked unrecognizable and Bones screamed again "DAD HELP ME! SOMEONES KIDNAPPED ME!" and he tried to shuffle out as quickly as he could, tripping over himself and his feet into Lovar.
They seized the oppurtunity and tried to administer the hypo but Bones grabbed their wrist and they just missed his pulse point. He ducked under them, falling to the floor with a shriek and army crawling to the nearest wall to leverage himself upwards again. Cribbing along a helpfully placed railing he made his way down a strange walkway that twisted and warped as he muttered "Where's home? Where is home? DAD!? I just want my dad please! Just get me my daddy!" What he didn't realize that his wristband had tripped an alarm and Spock and Lovar were rushing to his side to calm him down. Bones didn't realize the entire neighborhood was designed for dementia patients and Bendii syndrome patients. Bones screamed "SOMEONE HELP ME! THESE PEOPLE WILL MURDER MEEEEEEEE!"
He heard the familiar hiss of a hypospray followed by a slight pinch to the right side of his neck, his head lolled to the left and he landed against something firm but soft and comforting. And that smell..Finally something familiar! His lips curled into a small smile as his mind got all fuzzy. Through bleary eyes he looked up to see Spock. Poor Spock. He looked so tired. Bones should scold him for thinking that meditating can fully circumvent catching some good quality shut eye.
"I'm sorry, Ashayam." He whispered and Bones would have laughed if he could. "Forgive me."
"For what?" He drawled, finally letting go and becoming limp, "You saved me."
The dark was a blank slate like a night without stars. The idea of floating through a void was uncomfortable at best and distressing at worse. But this wasn't. There were no thoughts, no rights and wrong. For once, everything was just neutral for awhile. The dark laid on top of him, weighing on his head and pressing down his limbs. There was nothing to do. Nothing to wonder about. Nothing to fear. Wherever this place was, if it was a place at all, he wanted to stay. Alas, nothing lasts forever. One by one Bones' senses came back to him, filling his empty mind with stimuli. First was touch, the gentle pressure and heat of being wrapped up in something. Followed by the comprehension that whatever he was tucked against had a rhythm to it— a heartbeat— that was nice. The dark had a heartbeat. He ventured to bring his hands up to his face and felt some kind of silk. The fabric smoothed across his skin and his sense of smell came to life. First, a clean powdery smell, then floral like an orchid, finishing with the warmth of wood. He curled himself around it, cherished it. How could he have been so happy to have nothing when this something was everything? Then his ears began to prick and sound started coming back. There was a lot of voices and they all seemed to be saying the same things.
"Meant to wait." "Need." "Follow protocol." "I promised." "You were meant to." "Failed." "Be here." "Agitated." "Confused." "Not your fault." "Will he." "Can I." "Wakes up."
It was all a jumble of lost transmissions and static. Bones slowly woke up to Spock by his side and Bones murmured "Good morning sweetie. I love you so much. Today will be a wonderful day." Bones' hand curled around a white fabric that was now stained all over— a prayer shawl his mind helpfully supplied. Bones also gripped onto a stuffed whale and petted the felt fabric, it felt comforting and safe, the smells bringing back snippets of memories of being in front of an analog computer, of crisp and salty air and the singing of whales. Bones then realized the gnawing sensation in his stomach would be known as hunger and he asked Spock "Uh…I'm hungry… for vegan mac n cheese…and soup". Bones added "And maybe some vegan lasagna soup too."
Bones watched as Spock made a request to someone in the hallway and then Spock came back in and lay down and they snuggled as Spock put on Scooby Doo, a childhood comfort show that Bones could watch without being overwhelmed too much. Bones was lulled to sleep by the low volume and he went back into a comforting sleep next to his beloved. Soon the smell of food woke Bones up, and Lovar helped Bones sit up, place a dinner tray on his lap and Bones started eating mac n cheese, but it was Spock who was spoonfeeding him, it was heated to the correct temperature and was made exactly the way David McCoy made it. Bones drank a can of soda with it just like how his father would serve him mac n cheese occasionally. Then Spock fed him lasagna soup, carefully catching the drips that threatened to roll down his chin. Contented and full after just a few spoon fulls he sighed and leaned back against the couch cushions. He watched Spock clear the tray from his lap, setting it down on a nearby side table.
"Satisfied?"Spock brushed non-existent crumbs off his shirt before laying his palm down over his heart.
"You're too good to me." He meant it. Spock was too good to him and for him. He placed his hand on top of Spock's. Their skin was so wrinkly and veined it was almost comical. Who'd have thought they'd end up growing old together? He brushed his thumb back and forth to watch how peaks and valleys on the back of Spock's hand shifted. The Mystery Gang just unmasked some crooked business mogul in the background.
"Leonard." Spock said and Bones hummed to indicate he was listening. "What do you wish to do next?"
There was a host of things that Bones wished to do. He wished he was finishing his painting or pruning his roses or out for a walk somewhere that smelled sweet like peach blossoms. But God, his head was so heavy and everything seemed so far away. In spite of himself Bones' yawned. Spock took this as the only answer required.
Bones drowsily let Lovar brush his teeth and wipe his lips with a wet terrycloth and Bones fell asleep after the empty dishes were taken away. Bones could hear the soft, warm and steady voice of Spock reading aloud from a mission report. It was familiarity, safety and strength and that voice brought back snippets of memories of the precious few years they all had together during the five year mission. Bones felt the soft and plush lips of Spock kissing his forehead and a warm blanket being pulled to his chin and the weight of a arm curled around him as tranquil sleep took over.