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For once, Parrot stood still.
Instead of pacing and running and fighting and surviving, he just… stood. The sun glared down, viciously heating the air and earth inside the old Mining City. The cool ocean breeze barely skimmed over the top of the deepslate walls bringing with it the slightest relief from the heat.
Parrot stared hard. Luigi’s grave stone cast a smaller shadow than he would have expected. Logically he knew that that was only because it was shortly after noon, but… it still felt wrong. It felt like a dismissal. Like everything his friend had suffered for meant nothing if the server had already forgotten him. Like he was just another grave among thousands, doomed to live and die at the whims of fate and stronger, crueler people.
Parrot swallowed hard. This wasn't the type of thing he normally did, but after the purge? After watching Napa die so soon after Spepticle? After seeing everything the law was willing to do to win?
It felt like he needed to come back here. To the place he first lost someone. He took a breath, breathing out slowly, “Hey Luigi… I’m back.”
Parrot paused out of habit, waiting for a response he knew would never come. He sighed. “It’s weird to be here again. It’s been so long…” He tore his gaze away from the grave to look around what had once been his… prison? Home?
The mangrove tree they had planted over Luigi’s grave was bigger now. The trunk was thin, but despite the solid rock it was planted in, the leaves were full and lush. It was thriving. It cast one of the only bits of shade in the whole barren landscape. Parrot remembered R4trick saying as he planted it that, after everything, Luigi deserved to sleep in the shade.
To his right, the old ramshackle village looked exactly as he remembered it, a circle of houses so broken down they must have been built specifically to be that way. Coin’s house still stood dark and opposing. In the distance behind him, Parrot knew the factory and casino towered over the torn up earth. The only thing that was missing was the people.
He remembered the way players used to crawl over the area like ants, making tunnels and scurrying back and forth. He remembered sitting around the campfire in the middle of the village at the end of the day, sharing their meager bread, telling stories about their adventures (both real and imagined), and complaining about Coin and Reddoons and the heat and everything. Parrot smiled.
Everything had seemed so bad back then. He had been so focused on the lock keeping them trapped that he hadn't paused to appreciate his cell mates.
Napa, R4trick, Finiahn, Lezy, Arcn, Lettuce, Dean, Luigi, Wifies.
He couldn’t help but wonder how many of those people were even still alive. Parrot looked back at Luigi’s grave with a sad smile. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I just wanted to give you an update.” He felt awkward talking to no one, but this whole thing felt like something he needed to do. “There's no one left in Mining City now. Reddoons let everyone go. After you died.”
Parrot thought back to everything back then. It was a long time ago. So much had happened. “We found the farlands. We made it all the way there. We did it for you.” Parrot sat down at the foot of the makeshift head stone, settling in for a long story. He ignored the way his eyes watered.
“The Mafia is long gone now. It’s a completely different server than the one you knew.” Parrot looked up at the light passing through the tree with a rare genuine smile. “There’s so many new players. People who still have hope for peace.” The smile faded slightly as he looked back down at the worn sign propped on the diamonds. “I wish you could see it.”
Parrot leaned back, propping himself on his hands. “There’s a new Capital City now. One that's not funded by coercion and abuse. It’s safe” He paused, letting the silence speak where Luigi should have. “Most people come straight from spawn and settle down. They can live their lives without spending every day working for or running from someone else.” Parrot exhaled heavily. “I wish… I wish we had gotten a chance to live like that.”
Parrot sat up straight. He ran his hands over the ground, picking up a handful of dust and letting it run through his fingers, wisping away in the barest hint of a breeze. “Obviously, there’s new problems though.” He laughed dryly. “The server just can't stay peaceful for long.” Parrot shook his head. “Do you remember Lettuce?” Parrot thought back to the player who had shown up at the End Civilization with Fanst. He remembered working with him and the others, side by side, fighting to protect their last doomed hope for safety, only to watch it fall before their eyes. He remembered finding Lettuce again at Mining City and how he had greeted Parrot and Dean and Wifies with a broad grin that hadn't yet held any trace of the deceit Lettuce now wore like a mask. Parrot remembered standing in between Lettuce and Coin’s temper every time Lettuce would push just a bit too far. Parrot scoffed. How things had changed.
“Lettuce started this massive army “for the good of the server” but… he’s been on a power trip. He’s so adamant that he knows what’s best and he's willing to do anything to get it done.” Parrot trailed off. The whole thing was all too similar to Ash. To the mafia.
Ash had said he was bringing order. Lettuce said he was bringing safety. The difference was, Lettuce had the support of the people behind him. As far as Parrot was concerned, that made him even harder to beat.
“We’re… we’re working on stopping him, but….” Parrot paused, letting the sudden wave of emotions wash over him, aching like a poison smashed against his chest. He didn't want to let it show. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Every instinct told him to shut his mouth, and grit his teeth, and pretend his fear and grief were anger.
Because anger was less likely to get you killed.
Despite himself, he looked up at Luigi’s gravestone with watering eyes. The sun dipped lower toward the horizon, leaving Parrot sitting in the shadow cast by his friend's last resting place. It felt almost like a final kindness. An offering of shade from a friend who couldn't give anything else.
Parrot choked back a sob.
He finally spoke. “I’m scared.”
He expected the admission to echo. He expected the world to shift. Maybe someone would fall from the sky with a mace to strike him dead. Maybe the ground would cave out from under him, swallowing him up.
But nothing happened.
Nothing happened
The sun still shone with a painful blistering heat. The leaves on the tree still rustled in the gentle breeze that managed to make it over the walls. The grave stood silent.
Haltingly, Parrot continued. “With the Mafia, I lost everything.” He closed his eyes in defeat. “I lost everyone. I’m… I’m scared that this time will be the same.” Parrot wrapped his arms around himself as his voice cracked. “I don’t have much more to lose.” The admission came out in a whisper.
“I'm the only one left now. You, Dean, even Wifies. I watched Napa die just a few days ago! Half of the people who lived here are gone now.” Parrot looked up pleading with a dead man for… what? Forgiveness? A second chance? He didn’t know.
Whatever he was asking for, all he got was silence and a shadow.
Parrot sighed, running a hand through his dirty, tangled hair. “I don’t think I’m the same person you knew.” He spoke haltingly, forcing out every word. Parrot exhaled hard in frustration. This was stupid. It’s not like Luigi would hear him. Nobody would.
He continued anyway.
“I was stupid. And naive. I thought I could save everyone with no consequences.” Parrot glanced behind him to where he could just barely see the opening in the wall where he had watched the others sail away. “Then, I thought I could just take the hit myself. Sacrifice my own life or freedom for the good of others.”
The farlands. Wifies. Dean. Everything he had suffered and lost, all to learn one stupid lesson that never seemed to stick.
Hunting for treasure with Theo. Losing him in the Mafia’s tomb only to find him again on the outside.
“For me, a little, just think of yourself.”
”Do I have to die like him for you to believe me?”
“But—” Parrot’s voice broke. For once, he let it happen. “But it doesn’t work that way. I don’t get to choose who will suffer for my choices.” He leaned forward and ran a shaking hand down the headstone. “And it’s always the people I care about the most that get hurt.”
Parrot closed his eyes, feeling the glassy texture of the diamonds under the thin layer of dust caked to the bottom of the grave. He took a deep breath.
Yes. He was scared.
No. He didn't know what to do.
Why did helping people have to hurt? Why did saving one life come at the cost of another? Why did Luigi have to die? Just the first of the many casualties of Parrot’s selflessness.
It wasn't fair. It just wasn't.
“I’m sorry.” Parrot whispered to the emptiness where his friends used to stand. How could he ask for forgiveness when he was still doing the very thing that got them killed. But how could he stop helping people when his selflessness was who he was?
“I’m sorry you had to die for me to realize that my actions have consequences that I can't control.” Parrot paused, “But…” he thought about what he had read in Luigi’s journal. He remembered how Luigi had always hoped for a better server than the one they lived in. He remembered how Luigi had chosen to stay behind in Mining City to ensure other players had someone to take care of them.
He remembered how selfless Luigi was.
“I think you would think it was worth it.” Parrot smiled up at the grave. “ I think you would be proud of how far the server has come.” The next words came out in a whisper. “Of how far I've come.” Parrot stood up, wiping the moisture from his eyes. “I think you would go through it all again, if you knew it meant that someday, somewhere, people could just… live.”
Parrot pulled a white tulip from his jacket and kneeled down to place it on the grave.
He stood back up with a final definitive exhale.
“Bye Luigi. Thanks for everything bro.” Parrot started to turn around to leave. He stopped.
The wind picked up, ruffling his feathers. He breathed in. He had come here on a whim, a broken effort by a grieving man to feel some connection to his past. He hadn't expected much of anything, but… this had been nice.
He looked over his shoulder. “I… I'll see you again sometime.”
Parrot smiled. He opened his wings and let the breeze take him, watching the diamond grave grow smaller and smaller until it disappeared in a glare of sunlight.