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Some 80 or so years after his life was restored anew.
Some 70 or so years since he got his teaching license.
Some 40 or so years since his son unexpectedly passed away.
Lilia no longer had a reason to count the years, but he still did.
He held onto every class photo he ever took since he started teaching because those were at least new memories to make.
He had returning students who grew into their teen years, even adulthood, coming and thanking him for being such a fun teacher and encouraging them. In every smile, there was proof that he had done his late son good, despite it all.
Anything to stave off the regret. He had his hobbies that felt empty now, and he was in good company, but something always felt off.
Lilia could never express the obvious out loud; he had never been good at that.
So he kept quiet, for decades.
That was, until his most recent class had the most peculiar student.
This year he would be teaching an exclusively human classroom of 2nd graders. He was assigned human classes, fae classes, and sometimes integrated fae and human classes over his entire teaching career. He thought he had seen and understood it all at this point. He even, most regretfully, learned new more reasonable ways of encouraging childhood development that he had not known when he was a parent.
He walked into the classroom expecting to encounter very sensitive, eager-to-learn human students who required an extra amount of nurturing to grow confidence and empathy in others. The students reacted to his presence accordingly, pointing out Lilia’s fae features with curiosity and some declaring that their parent also had him for a teacher.
One child remained almost entirely silent throughout the entire first day. Lilia only got around two responses from him during their introduction ice breaker.
“Sterling.” The child said after being asked to say his name.
He had platinum blonde hair, so bright it was almost white, and bright blue eyes. His classmates looked at him with confusion when he didn’t speak after that.
“Hello Sterling, could you tell us your last name?” Lilia prompted.
“…I don’t have one right now.” Sterling admitted quietly, receiving more confused glances from his classmates, “I don’t remember what my last name is supposed to be.”
“That’s alright,” Lilia assured him, “Could you tell us something you did with your family over summer break?”
“…I…” Sterling spoke with large gaps of silence between each word, like he was trying to think of the correct answer, “I don’t know. I didn’t do anything different than what I normally do.”
His stilted, confused responses told him that this human boy was not living a life typical of most human children nowadays.
The way he spoke with honesty, even when faced with a question he couldn’t answer, reminded him so much of…
“Thank you, Sterling. Since we’re all done introducing ourselves, let’s talk about all the fun lessons I have planned for you all this year.” Lilia quickly rose from his seat and gestured for the students to take their chairs out of the makeshift circle and return them to the desks.
Lilia distracted himself by writing down the curriculum he had planned on the chalkboard, but stole a quick look at how the students arranged themselves behind him.
The other children avoided Sterling as though he had the plague; his seat was the only one without another child sitting there. He bit the inside of his lip and continued carrying on as if he didn’t notice anything. He’d have to keep observing before jumping to any conclusions…
At recess, he kept his eyes on Sterling and saw how he entirely avoided playing with the other children, choosing instead to meander by the large oak trees next to the playground, balancing himself on the overgrown roots that had grown above ground.
“It’s rare to see you this concerned,” one of his fellow teachers noted, joining him where he stood by the school’s main building, “Is Sterling Kardos in your class?”
“How did you know?” Lilia asked.
“I had him in mine last year. He’s a strange one,” The teacher told him, “I regret not managing to have a breakthrough with him in first grade. You know, second grade is a pivotal time for kids to start forming their own friend groups. I’m worried at this rate, he won’t have any.”
“Earlier, he couldn’t tell me his last name,” Lilia replied, “I thought maybe he was…”
“Raised by a fae?” The teacher finished for him, “He is.”
Lilia snapped his head toward her, then looked back at Sterling, who was still walking around aimlessly on the tree roots.
A part of him hated that his initial judgment had came true. That shouldn’t have been the case. A child connected with nature but completely separated from his own kind, without a last name he could recall, that was exactly how Silver had been brought up…Is this how Silver would’ve looked like to others had Lilia enrolled him in a public school system before NRC?
“I remember, back when I was a teaching assistant, you told me you also raised a human child before. So, is this normal for human children raised by fae? Maybe I shouldn’t be worrying too much?” The teacher asked, another unintentional stab to his heart.
There was no textbook example of how a fae should raise a human child. Even if there were, in his own ignorance, Lilia doubted he would’ve even followed that. With all of the books that he and Malleus had read together, Lilia still acted on primarily his own whims.
Silver had grown up to be a kind, handsome, amazing person entirely on his own. He was perfect from the beginning, Lilia had no role to play in that. Would this child even be as lucky? He couldn’t feel any particular blessings on him, diurnal or night.
“That was a long time ago,” Lilia said with a sigh, “But I believe Sterling is a kind child, he just doesn’t know how to express himself with words. Do you know anything else about his family?”
“He lives with just one fae, a man who was friends with his birth parents, I think. I met him at a parent-teacher conference once. He’s a bit standoffish, and he doesn’t interact with the other parents.” The teacher explained, “You’ll get the chance to meet him, too, for progress reviews. He only really comes for those.”
“Thanks for letting me know,” Lilia says with a half-hearted smile.
Seeing Sterling entertain himself all alone, picking up fallen acorns off the ground and stuffing them in his pocket…Lilia felt his heartstrings pull in a direction that they hadn’t for decades.
Without thinking, he found his legs moving on their own, walking towards the lonesome boy.
Sterling saw him approach and became sheepish, hiding his hands behind his back.
“There’s no need to be wary of me.” Lilia assured him, “I saw you were collecting acorns, you know, there’s something really fun you could do with those.”
Sterling brought his hands back out in front of him and opened his little palms, revealing acorns of all different sizes.
“If you make a little hole through these acorns and thread some string through them, you can make a charm bracelet.” Lilia said, “Wouldn’t that be fun to make?”
Sterling’s eyes lit up at the idea of a craft, but he looked down at his hands disappointedly, “I don’t have any string.”
“Hold onto those acorns, and I’ll get you some string after class. I’m sure we can make one before your papa picks you up.” Lilia says and instinctively brings a hand up to ruffle up his hair.
He stops himself and pulls his hand back. Thankfully, Sterling didn’t notice the gesture, focusing instead on hiding as many acorns as he could in his little pockets.
The bell tolled and signaled for the children to line up and return to class.
The rest of Lilia’s lesson was a blur. He had found some string for crafts in the classroom’s storage closet and kept it hidden in his desk drawer, watching the clock tick away as he sat and waited for the children to finish their writing assignment.
Diligently, Sterling remained at his desk as the students piled out to leave the end of the day. Lilia very carefully used a push pin to make the holes, as his attempts at using scissors had destroyed some of the nuts.
Lilia never saw Silver make the acorn bracelet he had been gifted almost 100 years ago, but he remembered clearly how Silver described making it.
“The squirrels helped me find them, and a woodpecker helped me string them together. This is for you, Papa.”
Those words rang clear in his mind even without playing the memory on repeat with his signature spell, on that poor, decomposed bracelet he could no longer safely take out of its tin.
Silver’s bracelet looked far better than his and Sterling’s. Lilia was a bit disappointed that it hadn’t turned out looking as nice, but it was near impossible to beat perfection.
Sterling still seemed happy with it and even tried it on. It was loose and made a funny sound when he shook it, but the beaming smile on that previously shy child’s face made the craft worth it.
“Do you like it?” Lilia asked.
“I love it,” Sterling replied.
“Now, imagine how nice it would be if you gifted that to someone you care about, or want to be friends with-“
Sterling took the bracelet off and held it out for Lilia, “You can have it!”
Lilia’s eyes blur in an instant.
He’s quick to swallow his emotions and wills his eyes not to spill any tears. He bites the inside of his lip as he politely shakes his head, “No, no, you should give that to a schoolmate, or your papa.”
Sterling looked a little dejected, which made Lilia ache even more.
“I don’t know if he’d like something like this,” Sterling admitted.
Lilia closed Sterling’s hand around the bracelet and encouraged him to hold it close to him, “Just try it, someone will be very happy to receive a gift like that. I know I was.”
He walked Sterling out of the classroom and waited out by the pick-up area to see if he could catch Sterling’s fae father. Unfortunately, Sterling was still waiting by the time Lilia got called away to tend to Malleus…
Sterling still didn’t seem interested in playing with other children, instead he busied himself with making more acorn bracelets under the trees during recess.
Lilia supposed that was better than him just wistfully waiting for the play period to be over, but still, if he had no desires to play with others, maybe he just needed something else to occupy his time…
An idea struck him, even more reminiscent of his past than the last. He was so lost in the excitement of his idea that he hadn’t thought about how he might’ve been taking this budding relationship with his student a little too far…
“Could you lift the spell over the cottage tonight, just for a moment? There are some items I want to take out.” Lilia requested Malleus over dinner, just the two of them.
Malleus set down the glass of water he had been drinking, “Of course, but why now? It’s been years since you’ve been there, you said it was too painful to ever return since the funeral.”
“There’s this student of mine…” Lilia tried to explain sheepishly, fidgeting with his utensils, “I think he would really benefit from training as Silver did. Those wooden training swords haven’t been used by someone in decades.”
“If it is alright with the parent, then that sounds like a splendid idea.” Malleus told him, “But Lilia, I’ve never seen you take such a strong interest in one of your students before…”
Malleus stops himself, like he’s about to step into a place he shouldn’t breach. Even knowing that, Malleus wills himself to continue speaking as if he knows it needs to be said.
“Our time in that warm, dawning sun is over. There will never be another Silver.”
“I know that,” Lilia responds quickly, “This student has trouble connecting with those around him. I just want to give some skills that could help him in the future.”
That was true. Lilia kept reasoning with himself that it was the primary purpose of why he was doing any of this.
Malleus smiled at what Lilia said and, with a snap of his fingers, made their finished meals vanish from the table. He stood and extended his hand for Lilia to take, unable to teleport long distances without Lilia’s assistance.
“We can go now. In all honesty, I’m thrilled to see the place where our fondest memories are again after all this time.” He said.
Lilia took his hand and felt their magic connect. In a flash of green flames, Lilia was taken back to the cottage that was his home for as long as he had been a father. The glen was shielded by a massive dome of briars. Malleus brought them back into the ground, and the greenish glow that kept the cottage frozen in time was lifted, treating them with a view that was nostalgic of their time there.
Nothing had changed. The crops that Silver had planted before he passed were still budding in the garden, the front door was slightly ajar, and Lilia felt as though he could see Silver sitting outside on the bench with his animal friends, waving to welcome him back from one of his many extensive vacations.
Lilia released Malleus’s hand and was quick to tread the familiar path. He opened the door wide and looked into his treasure trove of domestic memories. It took everything in his power not to see the whole memories of the cottage walls with his spells.
He was here for one purpose only and that was to find Silver’s old training materials.
Problem was, he always lost stuff and never got around to organizing well. Any neatness was Silver’s doing. He did, however, remember keeping items from Silver’s childhood specifically hidden with the photo albums in a trunk by his bed and in his closet.
Malleus hung over him like a shadow and it made the trip down memory lane feel more vulnerable than he wanted. After taking out his photo albums and setting them beside him, pushing past the tin containing his favorite memory, he set his sight on the wooden swords…Only the wooden swords…
They were at the very bottom. Of course they were, Silver had outgrown them so fast, upgrading instead of high-grade steel batons and real swords.
When Lilia pulled them out, he was ready to run without looking at anything else, but instead, he found Malleus sitting on his bed with one of the albums in his lap, flipping through the pages.
“I found them,” Lilia told him.
It took him a little too long to realize that Malleus’s mouth was pinned in a firm frown, lip quivering as he pointed to one photo in particular of Silver as a chubby one-year-old, with cake all over his face, sitting in Lilia’s lap.
“I remember this,” Malleus says melancholically, “He couldn’t even form sentences yet, but he pushed the first slice of cake you gave him to me with his little hands.”
Malleus shuddered before he spoke again; his voice came out more hoarse and cracked, “Why did he have to leave so soon…?”
“Malleus,” Lilia says sympathetically, laden with his own guilt.
“He was so young,” Malleus continued, “I knew he would be gone quick in our eyes, but, had I known…”
“There’s no use in thinking about what could have been,” Lilia says, as if he hadn’t been doing that for years on end, as if he didn’t suspect from the bottom of his heart that he truly figured out why.
Lilia tries to close the album for him, but Malleus keeps his hands firm, and Lilia’s strength is no match against his.
“I wonder, if we were here with him before he died, would that have made a difference?” He asks.
Lilia doesn’t want to think about ‘what ifs.’
He doesn’t want to remember his failures.
He doesn’t at all enjoy remembering the woodland animals fetching him when he had been on the tail end of a trip of all things, dressed stupidly in casual clothes, unaware of what they were incessantly tugging at his sleeves for.
He doesn’t like revisiting the moment he happened upon Silver, cold in his bed, already being mourned by nature itself.
He doesn’t wish to recall how traumatizing it was trying to resuscitate his son for over an hour only for him not to wake up.
There were many things that tormented him across his long life, but none had destroyed him as losing Silver had. He didn’t have the luxury of hiding away from the world as he had in the past. Malleus needed him and Silver wouldn’t have wanted him to give up, that was that.
He couldn’t waste the sacrifices his own child made for him to continue living, as sick and twisted as it felt to still be here while Silver’s own life was cut off too soon.
All of it felt wrong. The only difference that could’ve been made is if Lilia could somehow go back in time and tell his stupid past self not to attempt to leave NRC at his going away party.
If he had just found a better way to die covertly, then Silver wouldn’t have…
“Lilia,” Malleus snaps him back to reality. The photo album is now shut, Malleus is standing in front of him instead of sitting, “I’m sorry, in my own distress, I did not realize-“
Lilia felt the familiar sting of his eyes full of tears. He let them slip without thinking.
“It’s alright, let’s just leave this place for now.” Lilia said hurriedly, sticking the wooden swords under his arms and leaving the items Malleus had taken out strewn on his former bed.
Once the spell was back up, no one could enter without permission anyway.
Lilia watched as his first and last true ‘home’ disappeared under a dome of briars. It was back to work tomorrow.
Sterling loved the wooden toy swords immediately upon seeing them and asked permission to hold one before Lilia even got the chance to tell him they were his.
“Really? I can have these?” He asked in disbelief.
“Yes! These are quite helpful for building up strength, stamina, and confidence.” Lilia told him, handing him both, “Would you like to try sparring with me?”
“Yes!” Sterling exclaimed, it was perhaps the loudest he had ever heard the child speak.
Some of the kids who played at the playground stopped to gawk at the two of them by the trees for a little bit. Lilia could overhear one girl questioning why Sterling was given a gift and not the other students, wondering if it was his birthday.
“Normally, we would start with our footwork and guards, but since this is your first time, let’s try some parry and thrust!” Lilia says, in proper position anyway, “Try to hit me and I’ll parry you, then I’ll try to hit you and you parry me.”
Sterling attacked, and it was childishly sloppy in an adorable way; it reminded Lilia a bit of when Silver started. Of course, Silver learned very quickly and was able to catch on very fast, it didn’t seem like Sterling had the same knack for it, but he wore the widest smile…It was worth it.
If Sterling wanted to take swordsmanship more seriously, Lilia supposed he could take on one more student after all these years. Wouldn’t that be fun…Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to open up the cottage more often, pull out the old obstacle course props, take out the test dummies…
While lost in thought, Sterling got a good couple of hits on him and actually managed to topple him over. Lilia laughed and ruffled up Sterling’s hair when he came to check on him.
“Well done! Excellent job, Silver!” Lilia exclaimed, and he felt the air suck right out of him after he said those words.
He threw his hands onto his mouth in shock.
Sterling lowered the wooden sword and looked at him, confused, “My name is Sterling, not Silver…” he said.
Lilia couldn’t think. He couldn’t speak.
All he knew was that he needed to get out of there right now.
He took off in the opposite direction, ignoring Sterling and the other teachers calling after him and asking what was wrong. As soon as he was secluded, he teleported himself back to the castle and promptly slammed the door of the room he stayed in behind him.
His chest burned as air somehow failed to reach his lungs despite all his heavy breathing. He pressed his back against the wall and hid his face in his knees.
He was pathetic. A disgusting, dirty bat, that was exactly what he was.
How could he let himself get carried away like that? That poor child was only 7, and Lilia had projected onto him the ghost of his son who has been dead almost as long as he had been alive awake.
There was no way he could continue to teach that class…He’d have to ask to transfer.
But poor Sterling…
“Lilia,” Malleus’s muffled voice called out to him, and a knock followed, “the servants said you came running through the halls in a panic and locked yourself in here. What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied.
“Maybe so, but so long as we are living here together, I would prefer you no longer hold secrets from me.” Malleus retorts.
Lilia sighs and reluctantly confesses, “I accidentally called one of my students Silver.”
There was silence, and then a pained “Oh…” from the other side.
“Deep down I knew I was taking it too far, but Malleus, if you saw him…” He whines pitifully when he realizes how horrible he sounds, “I’ve been trying to claim another man’s child. I’m no longer fit to be a teacher.”
“That’s not true.” Malleus says, his voice sounds closer now, like he sat down on the floor with him, “Those children would be heartbroken if you left them, especially that young student you’ve grown so fond of. There is something you need to do, though.”
Lilia sighed, he knew it was going to involve something he wasn’t adept at, but he inquired anyway, “What’s that?”
“You need to communicate with the child and his parent.” Malleus tells him firmly, “If you explain yourself, they will understand you. You do not need to burn bridges now.”
He was right. Malleus, the young dragon he had hatched from an egg, was telling him his communication still sucks and he cannot continue his bad habits.
“I don’t know if I can,” Lilia admits.
“You have to,” Malleus says, and Lilia can hear him start to grow irritated with him. It reminded him of when Malleus was reprimanding him in STYX, and even then, Lilia still…
“Alright, I’ll tell the school first,” Lilia agreed.
“I will know if you haven’t,” Malleus says as a warning. Lilia hears footsteps growing softer and soon it’s just him and silence.
Lilia was reprimanded when he arrived at school the next day.
It was irresponsible of him to suddenly flee during recess and leave his classroom without a substitute or any guidance, but the principal acknowledged that Lilia took no days off, not even sick days, except for May 15th, and that had been consistent for over 70 years of teaching.
He was let off with a warning and given a break. Before he left, he asked about Sterling and was told that he was absent that day.
Disappointed that he couldn’t apologize to Sterling sooner, he ended up secretly slipping into the records room located behind the main office, a place usually reserved for secretaries and administrative assistants.
Without being seen, Lilia flipped through the registration forms to search for Sterling’s parent and sure enough, there he was.
‘Falco Hawthorne’
Hawthorne…That surname did sound familiar, but the first name didn’t ring a bell. He used his phone to take a quick picture of the information listed and left as he had been instructed to.
During the next two days Lilia had off, he agonized over how to message Sterling’s guardian. He wished he could soften his words with light-heartedness, but it hardly seemed appropriate after what he had done. Malleus had been firm in believing that brushing serious problems off wasn’t good, and Lilia did agree with him.
Any parent would probably be appalled at a teacher giving their child gifts, calling them another name and then running away, disappearing for days. Even worse, the approach of suddenly messaging them unannounced could also be received as rude.
With Malleus breathing over his neck, he decided it was best to write a letter and have Malleus send it to the address with magic.
Later than evening, they had Sebek over for dinner and the three of them discussed possibly leaving for a few days on a trip for winter break.
Malleus insisted he could spare just a few days off of his princely duties since his Grandmother was still in good health, and Sebek, who usually never took days off, rambled on about how great of an opportunity it would be to be regaled by Lilia’s tales of travel while at a new location.
He didn’t have the heart to tell them that his love of travel had grown stale. When he thought about it, his mind drifted to wishing he stayed at home more when Silver was alive.
He excused himself after dinner and retreated to Malleus’s rose garden, which was Silver’s final resting place.
Silver’s tombstone was simple in appearance, nothing but his name, titles, and birthday. Roses of gentle pinks and blues surrounded it, unlike the red and black ones that had been planted there since Maleanor’s time.
Lilia could talk about Maleanor and Raverne just fine for many years now, but maybe that was because he had Malleus to focus on.
Silver left behind nothing and no one. He was just gone; all that remained were Lilia’s memories of him and little keepsakes locked in the cottage.
It was unfair. In a better world, Silver could’ve had a family of his own making. Lilia could have a little grandson or granddaughter with luminous silver hair and auroral eyes, and it would be like he was still here.
How selfish of him to want Silver to continue living through his descendants. Maybe he had chosen to never have children because of guilt over his biological family…
Silly boy, the world would’ve been better off with more of him in it.
Perhaps that was why Lilia was so taken with Sterling. He could easily imagine Silver having a child such as him. But that wasn’t the reality of things.
He had it set in his heart that he would apologize to Sterling and his parent and, should his parent be uncomfortable with Lilia being Sterling’s teacher, he would leave.
Life was far too short for him to still run from his feelings, especially for humans.
Lilia was dismayed when he returned to his class and found Sterling’s seat empty.
He was overjoyed at the children missing him and hugging him as soon as they arrived, and he kept the energy up by allowing the children to do arts and crafts in what would have been their math period, but he wished he could have had the opportunity to speak with Sterling then.
He checked with the main office again at the end of the school day only to receive the worst news.
“Mr. Hawthorne came while you were out and said he was considering pulling Sterling from school this year.” The secretary said, “Coincidentally, he left a letter with us to give to you when you came back. I wasn’t aware you were in correspondence with him, he’s been adamant since Sterling’s been with us that he doesn’t like being contacted for anything.”
“We know each other, you know,” Lilia lied, but pointed to his ears, “Fae and all.”
The human secretary believed him, after all, this was a primarily human school. She gave him the letter, enclosed with a deep green wax seal of some bird of prey. He opened it as soon as he stepped out of the building and read it over.
It was quick and to the point.
‘I have been made aware that you have been in close contact with Sterling, beyond what a teacher’s relationship with their student should be.
I have also taken notice that you have somehow found a way to message me. I would prefer we speak in person.
If you wish to discuss matters in private, you know where to find us.’
Yep, that was a Fae writing that alright. It reminded him a bit of Baur’s writing back in the day, when it came to matters of great importance.
Wasting no time, Lilia looked at the address he had saved on his phone and left.
The Hawthorne home was surprisingly both humble and fancy. It had an air of class to it that came from old money, perhaps former military service in the family, but it wasn’t terribly large either.
He tentatively knocked on the door and was answered by an impressively tall man, somewhere between Sebek and Malleus’s height. The man had jet black hair, a sharp jaw, and an aquiline nose.
Lilia was starting to vaguely recognize the face paired with that surname, but what the man said next sealed the deal.
“General Vanrouge,” he greeted, “so the rumors were true that you became a school teacher.”
“Have we fought alongside each other?” Lilia asks.
“No, but my father was one of your archers, Gawain Hawthorne.” The man replies.
Lilia’s memories return, “That’s right! I heard from Baur that he retired some 100 years after I resigned to care for his new child.”
“It’s an honor to finally meet you in person. You may call me Falco.” He holds out a hand for him to shake.
“You can just call me Lilia. Or wait- Call me Mr. Vanrouge in front of Sterling.” Lilia says as he allows himself into the home, “Which, speaking of, how is he?”
“He’s in his room. I told him you were coming, but he often gets rather stubborn when upset. If you don’t mind,” Falco motioned for Lilia to follow him upstairs.
Lilia inspected the walls and found no pictures. Bows were displayed, some of which Lilia recognized as originally belonging to Gawain, and baskets filled with arrows were stored near them.
Sterling’s bedroom was more decorated than the rest of the house, with toys, books, and the little acorn bracelet they made together sitting upon his dresser next to a photo of two adult humans, a man and a woman.
“Sterling, Mr. Vanrouge came to see you,” Falco announced.
Sterling looked up from his bed and his blue eyes brightened up. He promptly ran over to Lilia and hugged his waist. The feeling of little hands wrapping around him tightly felt so painfully nostalgic, and he realized the kind of feeling he had been chasing for years.
It felt like the hugs he used to get when he returned home after a long trip.
“Mr. Vanrouge, I’m sorry!” Sterling said in a pitiful, sad voice, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“What? You silly boy, you didn’t upset me at all!” Lilia knelt down to tell him to his face, hand on his shoulder, “I was very happy and I made a mistake. A dear friend of mine advised me to explain myself to you both. I’m here to do just that.”
He fell silent, heart palpitating in his chest. The mirror of himself and Silver stared at him expectantly, Sterling with his little hands folded and Falco with his arms crossed. Lilia took a deep breath.
“A long time ago, I had a son. He was human, just like you, and his name was Silver.” Lilia explained, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Falco changing his standing position by straightening up his back,“When we were doing all those fun things together- making the acorn bracelets and playing with wooden swords…It reminded me of being with him, and I got carried away. I know you’re Sterling, not Silver.”
“That’s okay!” Sterling replied eagerly, “Silver must’ve been fun to play with if you did all that stuff together. I wish I could’ve met him.”
Lilia smiled and allowed himself to ruffle up Sterling’s hair with an approving look from Falco, “I think Silver would’ve definitely been your friend.”
Sterling giggled at that. Falco immediately took notice and gave Lilia a proposition.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Falco offered, to which Sterling got noticeably excited.
“I’d love to.” Lilia agreed.
After dinner, Lilia and Falco reminisced well into the evening, cutting into Sterling’s bedtime.
Sterling fell fast asleep at Lilia’s side while the two men were busy talking about the difference between Gawain as an archer during the war and as a father who struggled to settle down with his haughty on-and-off-again partner with their son.
Lilia was a little worried that Falco would take offense to how Sterling had clung to Lilia’s side, but the man didn’t seem to mind…Given that he came from two parents who didn’t get along and ultimately left him on his own by his 300s, Lilia was surprised Falco even decided to take care of a child himself, much less a human…
They fell silent, save for Sterling’s soft snores, and Lilia decided to ask.
“How is it you came to have Sterling?”
Falco’s expression remained resolute, knowing that he too would have to admit something about his past.
“I was injured by a direbeast while hunting, and a human couple rescued me and nursed me back to health. They were Sterling’s parents; he was a year old at the time.” Falco explained, “I remained in contact with them since then. Two years later, there was a bad storm. I’m not entirely sure what happened; perhaps lightning struck the house, but everything was aflame, and Sterling was outside, dazed and confused. I can only assume one of them rescued him and went back in to retrieve their spouse, only for them both to perish.”
Lilia looked down at Sterling, who continued to sleep peacefully. He knew from experience that, although children may not remember what happened to them, traumatic events remain deeply ingrained in the unconscious mind. He thought back to Silver’s pitiful cries when he awoke in that cradle 400 years after his kingdom perished, surrounded by nothing but dust and briars.
“I took Sterling in out of pity. I know it would have been better for me to leave him with a human family, but I felt I owed it to his parents to care for him.” Falco added, “I have been told by his teachers that he is different and doesn’t care to get close to other humans. So, when he came home smiling more and talking about you, I thought that maybe how I was raising him was okay…Then, a week ago, he came home in tears, telling me he could no longer return to school. I thought he was bullied, I thought you might’ve done something to him…But then I saw your name-“
“It’s okay,” Lilia assured him, “Falco, I’ve been where you are. You are doing far better than I, at least you were friends with those good people. You keep Sterling’s parents in his life with those photos; you allow him to socialize with other humans. You’re doing everything I wish I could’ve done sooner, and you shouldn’t live with any regrets when Sterling’s time comes.”
“I don’t see why you should have any regrets yourself, Vanrouge. Your son…He was the lost prince, wasn’t he?”
Lilia nodded, and then came the admission of his greatest regret.
“Silver had a wish piece. I didn’t know what it was at the time. It kept him alive for hundreds of years in ageless sleep, but was destroyed after he used it to save my life,” Lilia said, “I thought things were fine, he seemed healthy still but, he suddenly passed away young and I always felt that if he didn’t save me, maybe that wish piece could’ve granted him more years of life.”
Lilia stifled a cry and brought a hand up to quickly wipe his tears, careful to not wake Sterling, “I would’ve been happy to die for him. He should’ve kept that wish for himself.”
It’s easier for those who leave, he’s known that for centuries. A part of him felt selfish for wishing to trade places, but a Silver who grieved and then moved on with his life would’ve been better than a Silver who died before he got the chance to grow old.
Seeing that beautiful boy turn into a corpse was a nightmare he had never woken up from.
“I don’t know if losing the wish piece had anything to do with your son’s death. For a human to live as long as he did already, it may have been inevitable,” Falco tells him truthfully, “I don’t desire for Sterling to make such sacrifices for me, and in feeling that way, I believe I’m finally starting to become a real parent. I’m glad you’re still here. I’m glad you’re Sterling’s teacher. I don’t think he’d come out of his shell as much as he has without you.”
That was part of why Lilia became a teacher.
He wanted to learn how to do better, to improve upon his missteps, and to play a role in fostering good relations between fae and children.
Even with his son gone, there were many children who still relied on him.
Although he would give everything up if he could, as things were, he felt it was worth it to continue, not just for Malleus, not just for Falco and Sterling, but for all of the children who were just born or going to be born in the future.
Lilia thanked Falco for the meal and waited in the foyer as Falco carried Sterling upstairs to tuck him into bed. When rejoined, Falco asked him a question.
“Would you be interested in celebrating Sterling’s 8th birthday with us?”
“Of course, you didn’t even have to ask! When is it?” Lilia replies.
“May 15th,” Falco answers.
Lilia wistfully smiles, “That’s a perfect day.”
On May 15th, Lilia pulled his mourning necklace out from under his shirt and wore it with pride.
Sterling thoughtfully inspected it and was amazed at how the silver locks of hair seemed to glisten like opals within the sealed locket.
Lilia and Falco laid out their photo albums on the living room floor, allowing Sterling to see old photos of him as a baby with his parents that he hadn’t seen before. He also pointed at photos of Silver with recognition, seeing Silver holding the wooden swords Lilia gifted him.
While learning to shoot arrows with his new bow that Falco gifted him, Sterling declared, “I’m legendary Dream Knight, Silver Vanrouge!” while his shots hit the white outermost ring of the target and the tree behind it.
Even if this too would end, Lilia was glad to have this.
Lilia still sparingly visited the cottage, but when he did, he decided to display his and Silver’s belongings like a personal museum instead of packing them away.
Gently, he took out the acorn bracelet that was nothing more than a small pile of broken nuts, but within them, the memory was still strong. As a reward for helping Sterling gain enough confidence to form friendships with other students at school, Lilia allowed himself to peer at his favorite memory.
He saw from the depths of the forest clearing little Silver running to him with his bracelet in hand, calling his name.
It was still the most beautiful sound.