Chapter Text
Fool had always known the Birch Box was temporary - all good scams are bound to be caught onto eventually; no matter how well the terms and conditions were hidden. Still, Milkman hadn't technically done anything wrong. There's never been any laws in the Kingdoms - saplings aside - so the fact Avid had the audacity to sue was nearly as impressive as it was frustrating.
So here he was, staring down his weapons chest and trying to decide which would be best to sneak into a courtroom. Crossbows, sword, axe... flint and steel, maybe? Shears if the monkey gets out of hand again and - oh, now That would be a good hail mary. Fool hummed to himself, slipping on the suit MM had gotten him. It was going to be a good day.
It was hard to tell where things had started to fall apart, exactly. Somewhere between M1g's poor acting and Viking calling Avid “dumb as a singular brick”, maybe? Or maybe no one had been on their side to begin with. It wasn't even about Birch Box at this point, not really. Just a constant stream of “Objection!” “Overruled!”, no chance to really get a word in edgewise.
Fool wasn't even sure if half the words Vintage was saying were real, let alone what they meant. His head was pounding, and it was hard to block out the noise of it all. Was he upset, or was that Milkman? Someone was annoyed, someone was bored, and Fool was done playing lawyer.
In another life, he might've chosen differently, but here? Fool had a bomb in his pocket, the motive to use it, and well - the easiest way to interrupt a trial was to remove the judge. Death wasn't something to be wary of here, after all, and it was just a little threat to calm everyone down.
Obsidian.
Crystal.
The noise of the courtroom reached a fever pitch as the end crystal sent everyone into a panic, but Fool had never felt better in his life. He looked at Milkman, a manic grin on his face and static in his ears. By the time he processed Avid running up besides him it was too late to stop-
Punch.
Judge Elffe died first, waking up safe and annoyed.
A second crystal in the ensuing panic and-
Fool died seconds later, and Fool? Fool shattered and didn't. wake. up.