Chapter Text
All Carmy wanted to do after work was sit on his couch, choke down a half assed peanut butter sandwich and fall asleep to a Good Eats rerun. Tonight, he was about sixty percent of the way through that goal, having already showered and nearly finished his poorly constructed sandwich that wouldn’t even make it into a kid’s school lunchbox, let alone on a restaurant plate. Carmy watched Alton Brown talk passionately about dark chocolate, feeling hypnotized by the swirling of a ganache cooking in a pot on the stove. He nearly let his eyes fall completely shut.
Suddenly, Carmy’s eyes whipped open, heart beginning to race at the sound of three sharp knocks at the door. He could barely process what was happening before three more heavy knocks came. These ones had full weight behind them. These were the knocks of someone dying to be let in.
He ran a hand over his tired face and threw the apartment door open. To his surprise, Carmy was standing face to face with his CDC, Sydney Adamu. However, the Sydney he was staring at in the hallway of his apartment complex was not the Sydney he usually saw. This Sydney was shaking, soaking wet down to her socks, and were those…tears…on her cheeks?
“Syd.” Carmy breathed.
“Hi, I’m so sorry. I-I had to leave. I didn’t know where else to go!” She cried, eyes scanning Carmy’s face for an answer.
Carmy nodded, immediately sensing that this wasn’t just a random house call to talk about a new menu item. “Of course, come in, come in.”
Sydney hurried inside, leaving her wet boots at the doorstep. She dropped her bag on the hardwood floor by the door, knowing that would be an easier spot to mop water up from than having it soak into the doormat.
“I won’t stay for long, I just–” Sydney stopped once a gentle hand landed on her shoulder.
“Stay as long as you need.” Carmy spoke. “Nat left some clothes here last time she visited, let me go find them for you.”
Sydney nodded. Her mind was too preoccupied with the events of the night that she didn’t even have time to consider the fact that she might not be able to fit into Sugar’s clothes. She’d been losing weight like crazy between the long hours at work and the new meds she was on. Syd hoped the garments wouldn’t hang off of her. Deep down, she hoped they wouldn’t draw attention to her slight frame, as she knew that would immediately send Carmy into a panic.
“Sweatpants and a t-shirt.” Carmy spoke, reappearing with clothes in hand.
“Thank you.” Syd whispered, grabbing the clothes and heading to the bathroom to change.
Carmy’s eyes followed Syd’s body longer than they should’ve. He was realizing that he had next to no information about what had brought Sydney here, to his home, in the pouring rain. All he knew was that he had never seen her this frazzled before.
Carmy turned the TV’s volume down to a small murmur and began cleaning up the remnants of his peanut butter sandwich making habit. He was washing his hands in the kitchen sink when Sydney came back, now drier, in cozier clothes.
Syd put her head in her hands, perching her elbows on the counter. “I am really sorry to show up here like that, I just…I didn’t know where else to go.”
Carmy frowned. “I’m glad you came. Are you okay?”
Syd sighed. More tears almost dripped past her eyelashes, but she forced them back. “My boyfriend and I…” She started. “Things got messy.”
Carmy’s eyes widened. “Your boyfriend?”
Syd nodded. “My boyfriend…well, not anymore, not after tonight.”
“I’m so sorry.” Carmy whispered. He didn’t know what else to say. How long had Syd had this boyfriend?
Syd’s eyes dropped to the floor. “It’s fine, really. I am always big on keeping my work and my love lives separate from each other.” She cleared her throat. “I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him anyways, and tonight was the last straw.”
Carmy’s frown only deepened. “Can I get you anything? Water, food? Alcohol?” He scoffed. “Fuck, do you want a cigarette?”
“No, I’m okay.” Syd almost laughed. “Just some Advil, if you have any.”
“I’m sure I do somewhere.”
Carmy dropped down, beginning to dig through his cabinets. Syd took this moment of lacking eye contact as a confidence booster, preparing to tell Carmy the only thing she never told anyone. “He hit me.” She stated, plainly, just to get it off her chest, just to see what it would feel like to admit that out loud.
At this, Carmy immediately stood up. “He did?”
Syd nodded. “Not often, not every day. But every time he said it would be the last time. It was never the last time.”
Carmy’s heart shattered. “Forgive me for overstepping, but did he..” He cleared his throat. “Did he hit you tonight?”
Syd crumpled, falling into a puddle of tears on Carmy’s kitchen counter. The counter they had dreamed up, workshopped, loved, hated, and perfected so many meals together. Now, she was sobbing into the same granite that she was often eating off of.
“Syd, oh my god.” Carmy whispered, wrapping her up in his arms. Syd had often hoped to be wrapped in Carmy’s strong arms, but never under these circumstances.
“I told him I was leaving! That I was done! I deserved better, and I do!” She cried.
“You do, you absolutely do.” Carmy affirmed, hesitating before letting his palm rub a line down her spine.
They stood embraced in the kitchen for long enough for Carmy’s shirt to begin soaking in with tears. He didn’t mind. He’d never mind. He wished he was better adjusted, more emotionally well rounded, wished he listened harder in AA meetings and those one off therapy sessions that Sugar forced him into after coming back to Chicago. He wished he was more help.
“Any work on that Advil?” Syd croaked, throat wet. Her sore, battered body had started to match a throbbing pain in her head, a lovely sob induced migraine.
“Right. Yes.” Carmy started, hands shaking as he procured the bottle from under the sink.
He watched intently as Syd dry swallowed five pills at once, barely shuddering.
“Can I do anything for you right now?” He asked.
Syd’s eyes dropped to the floor. “Ask me again in the morning.”
Carmy nodded. He watched her sink into the sofa, bleary eyes settling in on Alton Brown. They’d both fall asleep on the sofa to a rerun of Good Eats.