Chapter Text
It was *THE Big Day*- not for the first time EVER but *all over again*. (For HIM, anyway. This was, however, *CADY'S first time ever*... *Luckyher*.) Father was actually crying along with Papa Chip and (Step)Mamma Betsy, and Pinocchio just barely held back from breaking down into tears of happiness *and RELIEF* either a little or a lot himself. Why???? Because he was *fourteen years old* and had been home-schooled since he was SEVEN- all because his not-even-really-*FORMER schoolmaster* had both literally and metaphorically kicked him out of school because 'School is for REAL CHILDREN- not *PUPPETS*!! Puppets belong in *puppet-show*!!'. -Not to mention that for the last five or six years, he and Father had been living *in AFRICA* since the latter's *new* wife and husband were research zoologists who'd spent practically all of Cady's life there...
(His semi *BIRTH mother* who was NOT the Blue[Haired] Faerie??? ...Wasn't in the picture anymore and hadn't ever really been [though Father had actually more-or-less divorced her just to be safe]. Which, y'know- *good darn flippin' riddance* since it was HER fault he hadn't been able to go to school and *be NORMAL* same as *DIS-Honest John Foulfellow's, Gideon's, and Stromboli's...!!)
*And THEN*/But NOW, Cady's and Pinocchio's mama and Chip's and 'Geppy's' wife had been/was offered a VERY generous tenure at Northwestern University in Chicago, Illinois. As in *America* rather than their going back to either Europe or Pariva, Esperia, Italy proper! And so it was *GOODBYE*, Africa -and Italy- and *hello, HIGH SCHOOL*...
(Poor Father also practically got *ANOTHER heart attack* on The First Day when BOTH his children almost got run over by a school bus at the curb while dropping them off! *Wonderful*... *NOT*.)
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His actual (yes, 'si'- *ha-ha-ha*) REAL first day of school?? -Was as much of a stressful surreal *blur* as Cady's. 'Si', he got in (slightly) less trouble than she did for the most random things... but he was STILL whispered/gossiped about and made fun of. For *EVERYTHING* about him. His non-normal features, his 'girlish' voice, his 'weird fugly' semi-old-fashioned clothing, his being GAY and *autistic* as well as artistic and a theater kid, his being a 'wimp' and a *'pussy'* rather than brashboldbrazen as much as a '*faggot STILL*'... *You name it*, they clocked it before pointing and jeering and snickering or cackling- which sadly unfortunately meant that so far, 'Pinoke(s)' had *NO friends* in/at North Shore High anymore than Cady did. (Which was a FURTHER bummer when you'd skipped more than a couple of grades a la Matilda and therefore stood out even more from the crowd besides The Obvious...)
Come lunchtime, one ate in the girls' bathroom and the other prepared to nibble and sip in the currently-empty music-room, the latter just KNOWING that he was going to *pa-the-ti-ca-lly* cry himself to sleep for more than one reason later that night and the next few nights afterward-
That is, until he heard what sounded like the smooth velvety dark-chocolate voice of Dr. Facilier from the Disney version of 'The Frog Prince' from just beyond the cracked-open door. Heard him not just speaking but SINGING wearily, sadly, and even a little *angrily*- sounding *JUSTLIKE* how Pinocchio was currently feeling...
~"(FREAK!!! *Slut*!! Burn-out; bug-eyes! *POSER*- lard-ass)...!!
We were *so TINY*, happy an' shiny-
Playin' tag and gettin' chased...
(*Freak*- SLUT- *LOSER*; short-bus...!!)
Singin' an' clappin', laughin' and nappin';
*Bakin' cookies*- EATIN' PASTE...
(*Bull-dyke- stuck-up- hunchback*...!!!)
Then *we got BIGGER*- THAT was th' trigger;
Like the Huns invadin' Rome...
*Welcome t' my school*; this ain't just no high school:
This is *TH' THUNDER DOME*...!
Hold yer breath an' count th' days-
*We're graduatin' soon*;
(WHITE TRASH-!!)
College will be PARADISE
If I'm not *DEAD* by June...!
But I know, *I know*-
*Life can be BEAUTIFUL*...
I pray- I pray for a BETTER way-!
'Cause if we changed *back then*,
We could change AGAIN;
We could be *BEAUTIFUL*...
-Just *not T'DAY*...
(*FREAK*- SLUT- *cripple*- *homo, homo, HOMO*...!!)
Things'll get BETTER soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown...
Wake up from this *COMA*, *take my d'ploma*,
Then I can *BLOW this town*...!
Dream 'f ivy-covered walls an' smoky French cafes;
Fight th' urge t' STRIKE A MATCH and *SET THIS DUMP ABLAZE*...
*But I KNOW*- I KNOW
Life can be *beautiful*;
I hope- I dream- *I PRAY*
For a *BETTER way*...!
We were *kind* b'fore;
We can be kind ONCE MORE-
We can be *BEAUTIFUL*...!"~
%~"*Just not today*..."~%
"Mmm... *You SAID IT*, baby boy 'r girl. -*Wait*; WHAT TH' F-???!?"
Pinocchio squeaked, flushed bright red, and clapped his hand over his mouth with wide-blown eyes on realizing that he'd just followed along OUT LOUD rather than still in his head when the singer more than likely *DIDN'T want to be heard*- apprehensively *bit* his lower lip as the door first swung then practically CRASHED fully open. *Howembarrassing*- *how AWFUL RUDE*...!!!!
The brightest living gold instantly zeroed in on big still-somewhat-innocent baby-blues and their owner from both a furry taupe-and-white feline face and underneath the brim of a red-and-black top hat... and then *THEIR owner* SMILED slow and sweet as molasses or honey or syrup. *Seductive* yet *HONEST*- not in the least bit 'creepy' or 'slimy' or both yet still causing Pinocchio to not just swallow hard but gulp as his heart thudded nigh-painfully against his breastbone and ribcage since it was *a CAT* who was practically Legilimizing him a la Professor Snape.
A slow blink once or twice beneath literally-feathered red brows that practically matched his WINGS where they weren't black or white- then he swept his hat right off his head, bowed, and literally purred "*Well, hello there*..."
A flustered *now BLUSHING* Pinocchio made to tip his own cap and tangled his fingers in his hair since he didn't wear one often these days yet still bowed back because *MANNERS*. (Well, bowed/curtsied, but *semantics*!) "B-Buon- 'Buongiorno, buon signore'," he either croaked or squeaked or both in reply, unable to stop himself from licking lips suddenly gone dry despite having used Chapstick this morning -a *MUST* in the blazing safari of Africa- anymore than *FIDGETING WITH his hair* or speaking his mother-tongue despite Cady having CRASHED AND BURNED with that earlier in the 'caf' with a group of African-American teens.
BUT- *However*, *THIS time*, still smooth as syrup and easy as pie- "'Direi "Lo stesso a te", pero... Comunque e comunque- Come va'??" ('I'd say 'The same to you', but... Anyhow and anyway- how are you??')
Pinocchio wasn't quite how to answer THAT, much less *HONESTLY*- before or after his hand was suddenly taken a firm yet gentle hold of and *kissed* rather than shaken. Finally, he settled for "I've- I've been- I'vebeenbetter, 'grazie'."
"Hmm... I could tell," Mr. Tall Dark Handsome and *MYSTERIOUS* near-murmured with a nod both sympathetic and candid and another KNOWING Look. "So... 'Come ti chiami'?? I mean, I COULD guess an' prob'ly pretty much get it *right*, but *DECORUM* AKA Manners and Not-So-Common-As-It-*SHOULD-Be* Courtesy dictates that I at least ASK!"
For the first time *EVER* that day, Pinocchio *DIDN'T flinch or flush* on introducing himself even if he still stammered a little but SMILED big and bright all the way up to his eyes instead. "P-'Pinocchio Edward Seth Benjamin Belmagio-Heron'. What's- What's *YOUR name*, Signor Gatto?"
Another slow sweet Cheshire grin that SHOULD HAVE been Creepy but abstively posolutely *WASN'T* despite his seemingly-soulless eyes of gold on black rather than white as their owner said as (possibly mostly) smooth and quiet as ever, "'Husker Hollis Nikitin-Sarkisian'. My friends an' family call me 'Husk'- you can too, 'f ya like."
"I'd- I'd like that an awful lot. *Sorry*! Imean, um- P-Pl-Pleased t' meetcha, Mr. Husk!" Pinocchio squeaked as he first shook 'Husk's' hand-paw -which strangely had *YELLOW pads* rather than red or black or brown ones- and then *brushed IT* with his lips (though on the KNUCKLES where a mafia or royal ring would be were he a Don or a Crown Heir rather than the back of his hand).
Husk's fur and feathers bristled a little bit at that and his own eyes widened, but he didn't narrow them right after or hiss or snarl even if his literally-plumed tail still flicked, so he wasn't the least bit offended, thankGod- just a bit surprised and startled yet also very PLEASED and *flattered*, given the rumbling purring chuckle that then issued from his own 'doors of breath' along with "Well, *aren't YOU* just a livin' doll still d'spite havin' more than Proved Yourself long ago, little Pine-Eye! A 'tesoro' both ways- betcha make Daddy *SO proud* 'long with 'Signore Grillo' an' your faerie mama or sister..."
Pinocchio's heart KNOCKED against his sternum- his stomach swooped and *his SOUL* fluttered like a butterfly's or dove's wings as he ducked his raven-dark head and blushed either deep pink or dark red all over again. "Th- Th-Thanks," he mumbled just loud enough to be heard. "I- I tr- *Itry*..."
"*Don't we ALL*, sweetheart??" hummed Mr. Husk, his words dry and arch yet his tone gentlekindsoft as much as his more-than-just-'pretty' eyes and *GORGEOUS* smile. Then, once Pinocchio finally managed to flick his eyes back upward (unconsciously sweetly batting his lashes in the process), he inquired out of both Courtesy and Curiosity, "-You got a nickname b'sides 'Pinoke', 'Slats', 'Woody', or 'little woodenhead'??? No offense or anythin', but your whole name is *a MOUTHFUL*- a DELICIOUS mouthful, don't get me wrong, but- y' know..."
HOW- *just HOW* was he *not* passing out from all the blood rushing to his face????!! What right did *THIS Cat* have being charming AND sincere as well as Cool and Hot (the latter of which he'd *NEVER* thought about a guy before because he was kind of old-fashioned like Father, bytheway!!!), and *howdarehe*...???!!? Still, even if *just barely*, Pinocchio managed to answer the question. "N-'Nocchi' or 'Pinny', I guess- just- Just *NEVER EVER* 'Pinokie' ev-even TEASINGLY, 'per favore e grazie'! I don't- I don't like that one anymore than Spl- 'Splinter-Head', '*little wooden GOLD-MINE*', or L-'Literal Faggot Still'."
NOW Mr. Husk literally hissed/snarled "*HELL TO TH' NO* on all three AND Duly Noted*!!" while his ears twitched, tail switched, wings flapped, and *eyes GLOWED* with either Anger or *FURY* along with 'Disgustification'- then he forced himself to calm down on hearing and seeing the younger male swallow hard and shiver (formorereasonthanone, it turned out- NOW he finally understood why people said that someone getting all angry and protective was '*so HOT*...!!!'). "An' as to that last... *I don't give A DAMN* anymore than Rhett Butler, given I'm a pansexual demi-romantic here m'self- and literally proud 'f it! -Also, two of my best and admittedly *ONLY friends* are FAR FROM straight even if *my sister* (probably) isn't, so I'd be a fuckin' Two-Faced Hypocrite from th' Mountains of Ignorance right outta 'The Phantom Tollbooth' if I either I-G-N-O-R-E-D that, laughed at ya, or both... 'Nocchi."
He was *STILL being Honest as Honest*- still one-hundred-and-TEN percent truthiest truthiness *EVER* despite having the air of a Criminal as much as that of A Gentleman. The kind that neither 'Honest John' or 'Giddy' could EVER hope of *BEGINNING TO dream* to achieve, let alone a certain just-as-evil New Orleans witch doctor... and he would only ever continue to be-!!
'Nocchi' didn't really know what to say in response to that, so he just smiled big and bright and sweet and let his *eyes and body language* do most of the talking- to which Mr. Husk purred slightly softer than before, slow-blinked again, flicked his tail, and ever so slightly fluttered his wings in reply rather than requiring or demanding a *VERBAL answer* as he could have and most people would have (which caused another heart-thud, stomach-swoop, soul-flap, and drying of his mouth and throat that for the moment Pinocchio didn't think too hard on anymore than Mr. Husk still holding onto his hand and gently rubbing his thumb over the back of it every now and then in a manner that should have been Disturbing but was instead awful soothing).
Finally, the moment was not so much *broken* as RUFFLED by way of Mr. Husk's saying soft and kind as Father's magical kisses and smooth and sweet as honey, "Welcome t' North Shore High an' Chicago and America in general, Signorino Pinocchio Belmagio-Heron. Feel like bravin' it back to th' caf, or d' ya wanna- I mean, wouldja like t' stay here for lunch?? Usually, I'd be waitin' for Charlie an' Anthony, but th' former's on a long-planned date with her girlfriend and the latter's unfortunately SICK- *on th' first day back t' school*, at that; how d' ya like *THOSE rotten sour apples*, huh???!"
Well OF FREAKING COURSE Pinocchio said a fervent happy '*Yes, please*!' after a sweet bashful 'Thank you' despite Mr. Husk's being another Cat and a *STRANGER* still (and an insistent complaining rumbling of both their stomachs)! Leave him behind/alone *after ALL THAT*??? It might not be the least bit polite for a *GOOD Real Boy or Puppet* to say, but- *FUCKTHATNOISE*...!!!!
Already, his First Day *and WHOLE YEAR* were looking 'molto molto' better than either had a little or a lot earlier- and only promised to become *WONDERFUL* from there. *Grool*, even, as Cady often said...!
And because he TRUSTED and *liked* *THIS Cat* as he hadn't since meeting either Jiminy, Zia Chiara, Father, Fabiana, Sabrina, or his now *STEP-family*, he shyly yet readily offered up something that he *NEVER* had before along with half of his grilled tilipia sandwich courtesy of Father. "By- By th' way... You can- You can call me 'little woodenhead' 's well if y' want to. Y-Your 'besties', too... Just, y' know- in- *in private*, please?"
Another shocked surprised start complete with a round of *RAPID blinking* of golden eyes currently more rounded than slanted and fumbling with half of his own ROAST BEAST sandwich before an apprehensive *shy himself* velvet-soft "Are- Are you-??? *Really*???? *Are ya SURE*??? That's- That's YOUR FATHER'S special *HEART-name* for you an' all...!"
Pinocchio just smiled sweetly and nodded sincerely with sparkling eyes that were no longer the least bit damp or smarting in reply- though he added a "*Uh-huh*!" for good measure when he was given a LOOK that said sternly 'I need a *VERBAL answer*, "per favore e grazie", doll'.
Mr. Husk faltered and (carefully) nibbled his lower lip with his much sharper gleaming white teeth for a moment or two- then he Cheshire-grinned big and bright as his own optic orbs didn't so much as sparkle or twinkle or glow in return but *FLARED* like flames more welcoming and flickering rather than dangerously warningly lickedcrackledsnappedpopped from his literally-hairy face and beneath the brim of his elegant top hat that didn't IN THE LEAST match either his sleeveless red muscle shirt or black 'Daddy straps' i.e. suspenders but still worked as *VERY nicely* for him as for Baron Humbert von Gikkingen, Mr. Edward Hyde, or Jiminy rather than looking *RIDICULOUS* and out of place. "Then I'm greatly pleasured and DEEPLY HONORED t' be able to call you that as well, 'malchik'."
A *Russian* nickname this time rather than one in Italian or English... That was- well, *'grool'*! "You- You speak Russian 's well, Mr. Husk??"
"I *AM Russian* 'long with Black an' Italian, sweetheart, even 'f ya can't tell through th' fur," he said matter-of-factly with a trilling chirruping chortle as LOVELY as his purr. "Jus' go on ahead an' call me a 'mixed-breed'- b'cause it's TRUE...!"
Even *teasingly*, Pinocchio would NEVER- that right there was just *RUDE*! Still- however, "*WOW*...!! Just- WOW; y-you *really are* cool same 's Mr. Baron! I only *LEARNED Russian* after watchin' 'Anastasia'- I don't have so much as a DROP 'f Moscow blood in me d'spite havin' the Romanov eyes."
"Maybe not- but THAT'S still both impressive an' awesome... Learn any others b'sides *MY mother-tongue*, lil' doll???"
"Um- well... Th- Three or four, at least. French after watchin' 'Beauty and the Beast', 'The Aristocats', AND 'Gay Purr-ee' for th' first time, Norwegian after 'How to Train Your Dragon' and 'Frozen', Arabic after 'Aladdin', and- and Swahili after 'The Lion King'. I was- I was awful curious..."
"Color me *FURTHER impressed*- you've got me BEAT on th' very latter since I'm a late bloomer... but I *am* fluent in German, Japanese, Spanish, Arabic, and Mandarin as well as Italian an' Russian."
OH!! *Oh-oh-OH*- *ih, ih, ih*!!! Pinocchio had PLUMB FORGOTTEN that he had also learned those four other foreign languages as well after respectively reading or watching 'Snow White' and 'Hansel and Gretel', 'The Book of Life', 'Kiki's Delivery Service' and 'The Cat Returns', and both 'Mulan' -1 and 2- and 'Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat'- *silly him*-!!
(Mr. Husk purred *and PURRED* and his eyes GLOWED on hearing that- which *DID NOT* help with 'Nocchi's' sudden pulse-rush, head-reel, or face-flush. *Atall*-!!! [And neither did his admitting that he also knew a fair amount of ROMANIAN and *Romani* after respectively reading 'Dracula' and watching 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'.])
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-If he nearly FAINTED on hearing Husk as well as seeing him in the music-room at lunchtime, then Pinocchio practically got *a NOSEBLEED* the moment he first caught sight of *Anthony 'Angel Dust' Imparlo-George* during gym class the very next day. Because while Mr. Husk was Tall, Dark, Handsome, and Mysterious, 'Angel' was not only *SEX ON LONG LONG LEGS* the way he'd never really truly considered either Jessica Rabbit or Holli Would or Red-Hot Riding Hood to be but HOTTER than *Edward Cullen* could *EVER* hope to be whether Human or Vampire despite his own pink-and-white fur, mismatched eyes, extra arms, slight lankiness, sharp sharp teeth, 'geeky' freckles, and Brooklyn twang to his own Italian accent rather than smooth tan or pale skin, lots of wavy blond or dark or chestnut or red hair like Liberace, and bulging muscles along with a blithe smile and lithe limb a la G(a)linda Upland. And when he *saw 'Little Woodenhead'*??? Fluttered his own long thick lashes and WINKED and *blew a kiss* while practically purring '"Ciao', doll" himself through a sweet sharp sparkling yet *HONEST* smile on the next pass of volleyball???? -*HeliterallycameFROMJUSTTHAT*. (No- REALLY. *Truly*!!)
In other words, thanks to both Signori 'Husk' and 'Angel', Pinocchio Edward Seth Benjamin Belmagio-Heron had both hit Puberty like it was a brick- no, STONE wall and fallen *hard and fast*. Head-over-heels-over-EARS-over-*tail*-*over WINGS*...!!
He was *a PLASTIC* and Husk was a *LOSER*, yeah, sure... but if THAT couldn't stop them from apparently being friends, then Pinocchio wasn't going to *DROP* one or the other just because of certain stupid *rules* with a blaring glaring capital 'R', either. Because the sparkle in *ANGEL'S eyes* was *sweet* as well as star-bright rather than blinding and *fakefakeFAKE*- and he wanted to CAUSE that sparkle as well as see it from now on...