Work Text:
Peter knows bringing his backpack into the lab is a mistake.
He knows this in the same way one knows not to touch a stove that is actively glowing red — not because he has done it before, but because the vibe is unmistakably hostile.
Still, he brings it in anyway.
The lab hums as the doors slide open, lights pulsing softly along the walls like they’re assessing him.
“Mr. Stark?” Peter calls.
Tony doesn’t look up from the worktable. Something sparks. Something retracts. Something hisses in a way that feels personal.
“If you’re here to tell me something’s on fire,” Tony says, “it’s supposed to be.”
“…Okay.”
Peter steps inside cautiously.
He pauses just past the threshold, clutching his backpack straps.
“Where should I put this?”
Tony glances over.
At the backpack.
At the notebook corner peeking out.
“…Why does that look academic.”
“It is academic.”
Tony frowns. “Why.”
“I have physics homework.”
Tony blinks.
Then blinks again.
“…Why would you bring that here.”
Peter shrugs. “It’s quiet?”
Tony looks around.
A robotic arm slams down behind him.
“Define quiet.”
Peter scans the lab for a safe spot.
Everything glows.
Some things hum.
One table is emitting heat waves.
Another is vibrating slightly.
He chooses a chair in the corner that looks normal.
He sets the backpack down.
The chair rotates ninety degrees on its own.
Peter jumps.
Tony smirks. “It does that.”
“Why.”
“Encouragement.”
Peter sits anyway.
He pulls out his notebook carefully, smoothing the page like it might sense fear.
Tony watches.
“That’s paper.”
“Yes.”
“In my lab.”
“Yes.”
Tony squints. “Bold.”
Peter starts working.
He writes the problem number at the top.
He underlines key words.
He is being very careful.
For approximately forty-five seconds.
Then—
“What’s that.”
Peter freezes.
“…My equation?”
Tony strolls over.
“Why is velocity negative.”
“Because it’s moving downward.”
Tony stares at the page.
“…Gravity again?”
“Yes.”
“High school physics is really committed to this bit.”
“It’s… fundamental.”
“Debatable.”
Tony picks up the textbook.
Flips through it.
Winces.
“This book is judging me.”
“It’s just definitions.”
“It just described inertia as ‘resistance to change.’ That’s insulting.”
Peter blinks. “That’s the definition.”
Tony closes the book decisively. “I reject it.”
FRIDAY chimes in brightly.
“I can calculate the optimal trajectory.”
Peter yelps. “No!”
Tony points. “See? Fear. Respect.”
“I don’t want optimal,” Peter says desperately. “I want something my teacher won’t email me about.”
Tony considers that.
“…That’s fair.”
Pepper walks in mid-argument.
She takes in the scene: Peter hunched over a notebook like it might explode, Tony looming behind him gesturing at a textbook, FRIDAY projecting a half-formed parabola in the air.
“…Why are you mentoring homework,” she asks.
Tony points at the page. “It started it.”
Peter squeaks, “I didn’t!”
Pepper pinches the bridge of her nose.
“Tony. He is doing high school physics.”
“And it’s wrong.”
“It’s introductory.”
“That’s worse.”
Peter tries again.
He writes another line.
Tony leans over his shoulder.
“You’re solving that backwards.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m following the formula.”
Tony scoffs. “Formulas are suggestions.”
Peter turns slowly. “My teacher would not agree with you.”
“That’s because your teacher doesn’t innovate.”
Pepper steps between them.
“Five-minute rule,” she says.
Tony scoffs. “I can behave.”
She starts a timer anyway.
Tony watches it like it personally offended him.
Peter works fast.
He writes, erases, rewrites.
Tony rocks on his heels.
Thirty seconds.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Tony inhales.
“You know, if you assume no air resistance—”
Pepper snaps, “Tony.”
He clamps his mouth shut.
The timer beeps.
Tony points triumphantly. “See? I waited.”
“You spoke during the beep,” Pepper says.
“That’s a gray area.”
“No, it isn’t.”
Halfway through the next problem, FRIDAY interrupts again.
“I have detected inefficiency.”
Peter slumps. “Please don’t.”
Tony brightens. “What kind.”
“The method being used would not function in real-world conditions.”
Peter whines softly.
Tony pats his shoulder. “Welcome to science.”
Peter rubs his face.
“I just need to pass.”
Tony frowns. “That’s a deeply unambitious goal.”
“It’s my goal.”
Pepper nods firmly. “It’s an excellent goal.”
Tony looks betrayed. “You’re all against me.”
“Yes,” Pepper says. “That’s the meeting.”
They try writing a contract.
Pepper actually drafts it on a tablet.
HOMEWORK BOUNDARIES
-
Tony will not comment
-
Tony will not hover
-
Tony will not contact educators
Tony signs.
Adds a footnote.
Unless they’re wrong.
Pepper deletes it.
Tony pouts.
Peter finally reaches the last problem.
He relaxes.
Then freezes.
“…There’s a bonus question.”
Tony brightens instantly.
“Oh, we’re doing that.”
“No we’re not.”
“Yes we are.”
Pepper: “No.”
Tony: “I already started thinking.”
Peter clutches his notebook. “Please don’t.”
Tony is already pacing.
“It’s conceptual. I love conceptual. Conceptual is where joy lives.”
“No it’s where panic lives.”
Tony stops.
“…That’s poetic.”
Peter submits the homework that night.
He sleeps immediately afterward.
Two days later, he gets it back.
There is a note written in red ink.
Excellent work.
Please refrain from attaching engineering schematics to future assignments.
Peter stares at the page.
Slowly turns to Tony.
Tony beams. “She noticed.”
Pepper groans. “You emailed her again, didn’t you.”
“…Briefly.”
Later — Group Chat: Do Not Reply All
PEPPER:
I just want everyone to know that Tony is no longer allowed near homework.
PETER:
THANK YOU
TONY:
This is discrimination.
RHODEY:
You traumatized a teenager with Newton.
TONY:
Newton started it.
HAPPY:
Why is the kid doing homework in a weapons lab.
PETER:
IN MY DEFENSE I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD ESCALATE
FRIDAY:
Escalation was inevitable.
MAY:
Why am I being tagged in something called “Do Not Reply All.”
PETER:
HI MAY SORRY
MAY:
Peter. Why is your teacher emailing me about diagrams.
TONY:
They were helpful diagrams.
MAY:
Tony.
TONY:
Yes?
MAY:
Stop helping.
TONY:
I refuse to apologize for excellence.
RHODEY:
This is why I don’t do group projects.
HAPPY:
Next time do homework at the kitchen table like a normal human.
PETER:
I TRIED
FRIDAY:
For the record, Peter completed the assignment successfully.
PEPPER:
That’s all that matters.
TONY:
And that physics fears me now.
MAY:
I’m taking his phone.
PETER:
WAIT WHAT