Archive of Our Own

Mortis lifted her head up from Nyamu's shoulder. She blinked the bleariness from her eyes. "Hm? Are we there?"

"Almost," Nyamu said. She patted Mortis's leg affectionately.

With a groan, Mortis dropped her head back on Nyamu's shoulder and promptly closed her eyes.

"Don't go back to sleep! I told you we're almost there."

Most of their flight was spent with Mortis cozied up to her side. Mutsumi had made a brief appearance earlier in the day, but the crowd at the airport had scared her off for the time being. The problem was that the plane made Mortis sleepy. She'd been dozing on Nyamu's shoulder ever since they took off.

Mortis stretched her arms up above her head and yawned. When she brought her arms back down, her normal joyful demeanor was gone.

Mutsumi looked around. "Are we there yet?"

"Almost!"

"Hm." Mutsumi put her head down on Nyamu's shoulder.

How did Nyamu end up dating the sleepiest girl on the face of the planet? She let out a long sigh and patted Mutsumi's shoulder.

"You're lucky you're cute," Nyamu muttered more to herself than Mutsumi.

It was a few minutes later that the plane started to land. Mortis perked up as soon as they were on the ground. She looked bright-eyed and fully recharged from her nap. She was scarcely recognizable as the sleepy girl from a few moments ago.

Nyamu was the type to wait until her row was moving before standing. Mortis, however, was apparently the type to immediately stand as soon as the plane landed. Which meant Nyamu was forced to watch her stand completely still as the other rows filed down the aisle.

Eventually, their row finally shuffled out of the plane. Mortis held Nyamu's purse as they walked, and, after a short trip to the baggage claim to pick up their luggage, the two of them headed toward the exit.

Nyamu nudged Mortis in the side. "Put your sunglasses on."

Mortis dug into Nyamu's purse and pulled a pair of sunglasses out. When they were together, Nyamu liked to put a little style into Mortis's look. If they were going to be seen together, they should at least look good. And they did look good together, in Nyamu's humble opinion. Nyamu was the stylish, chic one while Mortis dressed in cute, modest clothing.

With Umiri absent, their ensemble wasn't fully completed—a fact Nyamu lamented. They really did need someone with dark, punk clothes to round them out. Even more than that, though, Nyamu missed Umiri. She wouldn't feel truly whole again until she was back in the city with both her favorite girls at her side.

They continued walking until Nyamu spotted a familiar face in the crowd.

Nyamu grinned. She pulled Mortis with her as she hurried over. "Mama!"

Nyamu's mother opened up her arms, which Nyamu happily fell into. She was a plump woman who only came up to around Nyamu's shoulder. Even still, Nyamu didn't mind ducking down to be enveloped by her mother's love.

Mortis hung awkwardly back. Her eyes were wide as she watched the display.

"Is this your friend I've heard so much about?" Nyamu's mother asked.

Suddenly thrust into the spotlight, Mortis fell back on imitating Mutsumi. She gave a silent, polite bow.

Nyamu's mother wrapped Mortis up in a bear hug. She squeezed her tight before letting her go just as fast. "Aren't ya just the cutest thing I ever did see?"

"Mama!" Nyamu whined, stretching out the last vowel of the word. "You're embarrassing her!"

Mortis looked a little unsettled by this interaction, but she kept her hands clasped in front of her. She tipped her head politely. "Thank you, ma'am."

The older woman laughed. It was a hearty sound—pure, unfiltered amusement without any concern for what other people thought of her. "Oh, come on! Don't be so formal!"

"Mama," Nyamu whined again. "Mutsumi's tired from our flight." She tugged on her mother's sleeve. "Can we go home?"

"Home" was a house much smaller than the one Mortis had grown used to. The moment the door opened, Nyamu was mobbed by two little girls. She laughed and hugged them Mortis watched in interest. The two girls were excitedly talking in high pitched voices to their older sister.

The Yuutenji family home wasn't at all like what Mortis had expected. For one thing, it was so loud. Mutsumi's family lived in silence, passing through rooms like ghosts as they made a beeline for their destination. Nyamu's family were happy to see her. The concept shouldn't have been so surprising.

Normal families got along with each other. Mortis couldn't necessarily name any other families besides Nyamu's and Umiri's, but she was sure of it! She'd seen it on TV. That's how she knew it had to be true.

"Girls!" Nyamu's mother scolded lightly. She was laughing as she shooed the two young girls away. "Let your sister get in the door before you try to knock her down!" She turned to Nyamu. "I'll keep the monsters occupied.

The two girls roared on cue. One of them raised her hands in claws.

She turned to Mortis. "I've already got a futon set up for you in Nyamu's room."

Nyamu and Mortis shared a brief glance.

"Thank you!" Mortis said with a beaming smile.

"It's no trouble. Why don't you girls get unpacked and I'll fix us up some supper?"

The moment the door to Nyamu's bedroom was shut, Mortis pouted. "You're not going to make me sleep on the floor, right?"

Nyamu raised an eyebrow. "Uh. No. You're sleeping in the bed with me. Obviously."

Over dinner, the two younger girls bickered. Mutsumi was beginning to understand that was seemingly their default state. It must be hard to grow up with someone around the same age as you. Regardless, they got along when they weren't arguing over whose half of a shared cookie was bigger.

(To Mutsumi, they looked identical. Perhaps an elementary school girl's eye could discern what she could not.)

Back in Nyamu's room, Mutsumi surveyed the place she'd be sleeping for the next few days. It was clean. Far too clean for it to be anyone's living space. She supposed that made sense. Nyamu had moved out, leaving behind the non-essentials. Her room was a time capsule of who she'd been before Ave Mujica.

Mutsumi peered at a proudly displayed silver plaque on the wall. It was the logo of a video site on it. She saw Nyamu's channel name etched into it. Whatever it was for, Mutsumi had never seen anything like it before. Then again, she really didn't know much about social media.

"Keep it that way," Mortis added.

Mutsumi readily agreed. That was one box she didn't need opened.

Moving on, she spotted a few pictures tucked under the frame of a mirror. The first one she saw was Nyamu with her arm around the shoulders of a boy. He looked a little like her. Maybe a family member? They had the same color hair and eyes. Both of them beamed at the camera.

Next, Mutsumi's eyes landed on a few pictures of Nyamu with elderly people. She had a t-shirt with the name of… something. Probably a charity? Or at the very least some organization. Whether it was community service or just volunteer work, everyone Nyamu was photographed with seemed overjoyed to have her there.

Finally, she zeroed in on a photo of a very young-looking Nyamu with a cluster of kids that were younger than her. When Mutsumi looked closer, she saw that Nyamu was missing a tooth. And there was that boy again. Definitely a family member. She was taller than him. Did that mean she was older? He clung to her arm like a lifeline. They must have been close.

Nyamu entered the room. "Bathroom's free if you want to brush your teeth." She let out a sudden noise of great anguish. "Don't look at that!"

"You look cute." Mutsumi put the picture back in its rightful place. "When was this?"

"My eighth birthday. We always invite all the cousins over. I'm the oldest, you know!" Nyamu looked particularly smug.

Mutsumi couldn't help the smile on her face. The tiny, baby-faced Nyamu looked so cute. She could barely recognize her.

Her own baby pictures could be found online. Nyamu wasn't likely to accidentally stumble on them while going through Mutsumi's room. She didn't like her own face enough to keep any around.

"I like your face!"

Mutsumi fought against the blush threatening to show on her face. Mortis could be so silly sometimes… They had the same face.

In the bathroom, Mutsumi brushed her teeth and washed up. Traveling was always exhausting. She was looking forward to a good night's sleep. As she left the bathroom, Mutsumi bumped into another body.

She let out a little "oh" in surprise.

The last person she expected to see was a boy. Actually, though, Mutsumi recognized him. She'd seen him in the photos in Nyamu's room. Now, though, he'd dyed his hair black. Only the very roots of his hair showed any sign of purple. His smile was gone, though. Mutsumi wondered when he'd lost it.

The boy scowled, then pushed past her toward the living room without a word.

"Do you have a brother?" Mutsumi asked as she climbed into Nyamu's bed. She fell into her girlfriend's arms.

"Oh, you mean Aki? Yeah, he's a shithead."

Mutsumi laughed a little. Nyamu had such a way with words. "Do you get along?"

"Sometimes." Nyamu shifted a little bit. She was snug against Mutsumi's back. "He's in junior high. Second year." She yawned. "Look, do we have to talk about my stupid little brother? Can we just sleep?"

"Right. Sorry."

"G'night. Love you."

Mutsumi smiled. She leaned back into Nyamu's embrace. "I love you, too."

Truly, there was no greater joy than waking up in the arms of someone you loved. Mutsumi treasured it every time. She was tucked close to the wall with Nyamu flanking her back. Nyamu, with her lanky limbs, made for a very good big spoon, something Mutsumi often took advantage of. Of course, she enjoyed any form of cuddling with her girlfriend, Umiri included.

Mutsumi lay peacefully bracketed in warmth. Nyamu was snug against her, their breaths in time with each other. She could lay there forever if the world would allow it.

A knock at the door jolted them both awake.

"Girls?" Nyamu's mother called. "Are you up yet?"

Nyamu yanked her arms back like she'd been burned. She rolled out of bed. A dull thud sounded as she hit the futon on the ground.

"Come in!"

Nyamu's mother opened the door and poked her head in. She smiled. "It's so sweet of you to let your friend take the bed."

Nyamu laughed awkwardly. "Right. Well, I felt bad about having Mutsumi come all this way to sleep on the floor. You know how those big city girls are."

Mutsumi had no idea what Nyamu was talking about, but apparently it made perfect sense because Nyamu's mother nodded sympathetically.

"Breakfast is ready. You better come quick before the little ones eat everything."

"Got it! We'll be right out!"

Nyamu's mother closed the door on her way out.

Nyamu let out a sigh of relief. She ran a hand through her hair. "That was a close one." She rubbed her hip. "I think I hit the ground a little too hard, though."

Mutsumi peered over the edge of the bed. "Are you alright?"

"It'll bruise, but I'm all good."

"Do you want me to kiss it better?"

Nyamu flushed. "I guess you're getting all your flirting out now?"

That was the idea, anyway. Mutsumi would have to watch what she said around Nyamu's family. Mutsumi's gaze was drawn to a calendar on the wall. It was one of the ones with swimsuit models for each month of the year. Female swimsuit models.

"Does your mom know you like girls?" Mutsumi asked.

Nyamu shook her head. She climbed to her feet and headed for the dresser. "I never told her."

Maybe having pictures of female swimsuit models on the walls was what straight girls did. How would Mutsumi know? She'd always known she liked girls.

"I think Sakiko-chan was your gay awakening," Mortis helpfully supplied.

Mutsumi ignored her. There was no way she was unpacking that right now. Besides, Sakiko was the gay awakening for lots of girls she knew. Probably the majority of CRYCHIC, save for maybe Taki.

"Do you think she could have... maybe picked up on it at some point?"

"No way! I was really careful as a kid. I didn't bring any girls over for sleepovers."

Mutsumi was going to say something to the effect of "so I'm your first?" but her mind shortcircuited when her girlfriend began changing clothes. Really, it was a reasonable response for any girl to have.

"She doesn't know," Nyamu insisted, pulling a clean shirt over her head. "I think she'd be okay with it, but I just don't want to chance it, you know?"

"Mhm." Mutsumi would probably never have to worry about that. Her mother wanted nothing to do with her, and the feeling was very much mutual. "Are you going to tell her?"

"Uhh..." Nyamu paused halfway through brushing her hair. "Maybe eventually? I'll put it off for a while longer." She turned around, one hand on her hip. "Are you going to get dressed or stay in bed all day?"

Right. Mutsumi got out of bed and started getting ready.

Nyamu's brother was missing from the breakfast table. Mutsumi looked at the empty chair. Even as Nyamu tugged her to the door, she couldn't help wondering if his absence meant something.

"I'm gonna show Mutsumi around town," Nyamu called as she put her shoes on.

"Do you mind runnin' by the store on your way back?" Nyamu's mother asked, poking her head in from the kitchen. She held out a paper shopping list, which Mutsumi took. Nyamu's mother smiled. "Thanks, baby. I'll have supper fixed by six, so be home by then."

Mutsumi's day was filled with Nyamu dragging her around town. They walked by Nyamu's old school, visited a family owned restaurant that had been opened for longer than either of them had been alive, and stopped by all the places Nyamu used to hang around as a kid.

By the time the sun was setting and they had Nyamu's mother's groceries in hand, Mutsumi was pleasantly tired. She walked by Nyamu's side. As much as she wanted to hold hands, she thought that would be a bit too much. Besides, her hands were preoccupied with holding the grocery bag.

"It's weird having you here," Nyamu commented offhandedly.

Mutsumi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Not in a bad way! It's just… someone from my present visiting my past feels weird is all."

"I get it."

She didn't, really. Mutsumi had always been a sheltered child. Not sheltered from the cameras, of course. No, her parents needed to profit off how cute their daughter was. Mutsumi wasn't allowed to do anything normal kids did. She didn't climb on the monkey bars at the playground. She didn't walk down the street to the mom and pop restaurant with only a handful of coins from her allowance to pay for an afterschool snack.

There was nowhere in her childhood that she could show off to Nyamu. Even if she wanted to relive those painful memories, she couldn't.

Nyamu coughed. "Ugh. Do you smell that?"

Mutsumi wrinkled her nose at the stench. It smelled pungent like a skunk, but she didn't see any animals nearby.

"Must be some kids smoking at the playground." Nyamu didn't spare it a glance as they walked by.

Mutsumi squinted at the playground. There were two boys sitting on a bench, passing something smoking between the two of them. A cigarette, maybe, though that wouldn't explain the smell. One of the boys looked oddly familiar. Where did she know him from?

Nyamu followed her gaze. She clenched her jaw. "Shit. That's my brother."

So it was. Nyamu's brother laughed at something the other boy said. Like this, he looked like a delinquent. Instinctively, Mutsumi held onto the grocery bags a little tighter before immediately feeling ashamed. Aki was just a teenage boy. He wasn't some dangerous thug.

Pivoting completely, Nyamu stomped her way over. "Aki! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

He straightened up at the sound of his name. When he saw just who had caught him, he looked terrified.

Nyamu snatched the still-smoking object from his hand and tossed it to the ground. She stomped the heel of her shoe on it in one sharp movement. "Weed? Seriously?"

"Hey! I wasn't done with that!" the other boy said.

"Oh, you're done alright." She fixed him with one icy look. "Scram."

He didn't need to be told twice. The boy turned and fled.

Now alone, Aki shrunk under his sister's glare. "I paid good money for that, you know," he muttered.

"Yeah? Well, it stinks. You were ripped off." She crossed her arms. "What are you thinking? You're going to give mama a heart attack."

"You're... not going to tell her, right?"

"I might." She crossed her arms. "That depends on you."

He lowered his head. Aki definitely looked his age now, if not even younger. Maybe that was the power of an older sister.

"What are your grades like? I know they're not all A's. You're not failing, are you?"

"No!" Aki's voice cracked on the word.

"All D's?"

"B's and C's," he muttered.

"You know you're smarter than that!"

Aki shrank a little further into himself. With his shoulders curled inward, he looked so small. Mutsumi honestly felt a little bad for him.

"You realize with me not around, you're the oldest now. Mama needs you to help out with the girls."

"What do you care?" Aki suddenly snapped. "It's like you said. You're not around."

Nyamu looked taken aback. "Excuse me?"

Aki hopped up from the bench with a huff. "You can't just come back and act like you suddenly care about us. Why don't you just go back to the city? That's what you want, right?" He shoved past Nyamu.

"Aki!" she called after him.

"I hate you!" he shouted back.

Stunned into silence, Nyamu let her brother collect his bike from the edge of the playground. Aki didn't even spare them a glance as he peddeled away.

Mutsumi eyed the empty chair at dinner. She'd spotted Aki's bike outside. It was the boy himself that was missing. His bedroom door stayed stubbornly shut. Nyamu's younger sisters chattered noisily together. Nyamu poked glumly at her meal.

"Did you girls have fun today?" Nyamu's mother asked.

"Mhm. Lots of fun," Nyamu said.

Silence stretched out, so thick Mutsumi could barely breathe through it. Even the two younger girls fell silent. They glanced nervously at their big sister.

Nyamu sighed. "Sorry. I guess I'm a little tired. I'm gonna go to bed." She stood up from the table and disappeared into the hall.

"Well," Nyamu's mother said. "I guess supper's ending a little early tonight." She began collecting the dishes from the table.

"Let me help," Mutsumi said, following behind her.

She flashed a smile. "You're a sweet girl."

Mutsumi was given a dish towel to hold while Nyamu's mother washed the dishes. They worked in silence for a bit before Mutsumi finally worked up the courage to ask what had been on her mind.

"Aki and Nyamu… Do they usually get along?"

"Oh, those two have always butted heads," Nyamu's mother said. "If something's wrong, it's best if you let 'em work it out themselves."

Mutsumi wrung the dish towel anxiously. "If you're sure…"

"Positive! You know, I've actually got a sister a year and a half younger than me. Back when we were in school, we used to fight all the time." She chuckled at the memory. "You would have thought we hated each other."

"…did you?"

"'course not. I loved her more than anything in the world."

Mutsumi frowned. "If you loved her, why did you fight?"

Nyamu's mother scrubbed hard at the inside of a pot. Her arms flexed, showing off years of hard work put in to build those muscles. She didn't have the petite frame or perfect skin that Minami had. No, Nyamu's mother's arms were decorated with scars and stretch marks. She had wrinkles around her eyes and mouth from smiling. Somehow, she looked prettier than Mutsumi's mother ever had.

"We fought because we loved each other."

There was a part of this Mutsumi wasn't understanding. Maybe it was just the fact that she was an only child.

"Oh, god, and then there was when she moved away. I was so mad at her. We fought and fought and fought. Until finally I told her if she wanted to leave so bad, she should just stay gone."

Mutsumi's stomach dropped. "…and what did she say?"

Nyamu's mother's eyes turned glossy. "She didn't. She left." She set the sponge down into the sink. "It was the last time I ever saw her."

"Don't you think you were a little harsh?" Mutsumi asked once they were back in the safety of Nyamu's room. Her hair was still a little damp from the shower, and she was debating whether it was worth it to try to get Nyamu to blowdry her hair for her.

Nyamu huffed. She ran the brush aggressively through her own hair. That settled Mutsumi's internal debate, at least. "He's lucky I let him off that easy. I should have knocked him clean into next week!"

She shuddered. "I'm so glad we don't fight."

"Oh, baby…" Nyamu stopped brushing her hair to give Mutsumi a kiss on the cheek. "Only little brothers deserve to get beat up. Cute girls like you are innocent."

Mutsumi sat down on the edge of the bed. "He seemed really upset…"

"Boys are just like that. You go to a girl's school so I don't expect you to know."

It was true that she didn't know any boys. The few that she'd come into contact with were loud, abrasive boys who always seemed to be running somewhere. Mutsumi hated the way their eyes lingered on her. Aki didn't seem like them, though. He didn't want anything but to be left alone.

Nyamu shrugged. "They're moody. Especially in junior high. Ugh." She set her hairbrush down. "Just ignore him."

"Are you sure? What he said back there…"

"What, about me not being around?" Nyamu rolled her eyes. "He's just a kid. You can't take him seriously."

That felt like a little bit dismissive. If Aki was lashing out because he viewed Nyamu as abandoning them, this would only make him more upset.

Mutsumi chewed her bottom lip. She'd never been good with words. How could she communicate her concerns to Nyamu without being brushed off herself?

Before she could figure out the answer, Nyamu was turning to her. "What? Your hair is still wet?" She grinned. "Are you planning to go to bed like that?" She motioned Mutsumi over.

Mutsumi sat in front of her. Nyamu ran the blowdryer through her hair. The hot air lulled her into a peaceful state. A few brushes of Nyamu's hands through her hair and a couple kisses were almost enough to make Mutsumi forget all about Nyamu and her brother's fight.

At least for one night. She vowed to try to talk to Nyamu about it the following day. The last thing she wanted was for Nyamu and Aki's relationship to end up like Nyamu's mother and her sister.

In the morning, all the worries from the previous day seemed so small. Mortis bumped her head into Nyamu's chin like a cat asking to be pet.

"Can I have a kiss?" she asked with a pout.

"I just woke up," Nyamu grumbled. "Give me a second to open my eyes, at least."

"Come on~ Just one kiss?"

Nyamu rolled her eyes. She had a flush on her cheeks that made her look so pretty. In this sleepy, sappy state of hers, she could usually be convinced of just about anything.

"You want to make out in my childhood bedroom? Yeah, no. I think I'm good."

"Who said anything about making out? All I want is a good morning kiss."

"Just one, huh?"

Mortis nodded eagerly. She already had her hands on Nyamu's shoulders waiting for the go ahead.

"And one will turn into two, then three. Then we'll lose count. I know you. Don't think you can fool me."

Mortis pouted. "Please?"

She could see Nyamu's resolve crumbling. Nyamu might put up a good front, but she was almost as clingy as Umiri. "...just one."

The two girls each leaned forward. Mortis sighed against Nyamu's mouth. With a whole family of kids running around, most of Nyamu's time was taken up by her younger siblings. Mortis missed Nyamu's dorm in the city or Umiri's apartment, both of which they were free to do whatever they wanted.

Mortis ran a hand through Nyamu's hair. Short and soft. Perfect texture for her fingers to card through.

A gasp broke them both apart. The door to Nyamu's room was open. Aki stood in the doorway, eyes so wide they were practically all white. His mouth hung agape.

Nyamu lept up from her bed and ran toward him. At the same time, the boy took off. Nyamu was faster, though. Her legs were longer than hers. In only a few strides, she'd caught up to him.

She caught Aki around the neck in a headlock. Nyamu pressed one hand over his mouth as he started to call for their mother.

"You won't tell a single soul what you saw here," Nyamu hissed. "Do you understand me?"

He nodded frantically, thrashing in his older sister's arms.

"And do you know why that is?"

He shook his head as best he could.

"Because otherwise I'm going to tell mama about you and that boy from your school smoking weed. I bet you've still got some hidden in your room. Am I right?"

Aki stopped struggling. He accepted his fate.

"Not. A. Word. Got it?"

He nodded.

"Good." Nyamu released him. Aki quickly scurried away. "And don't open my door without knocking!" she called after him.

Nyamu turned back to Mortis, who had been watching the scene with a horrified expression.

"Oh, right. I forgot you're an only child."

"You didn't hurt him, did you?" Mortis glanced down the hall where Aki had retreated to.

Nyamu waved a dismissive hand. "He's fine."

It was then that Mortis remembered Mutsumi's concerns from the night before. How could she get Nyamu and her brother to actually talk to each other without trying to kill each other? A plan started to form in Mortis's head.

Coming back home was supposed to be fun. She was supposed to be showered with love and affection from all her family members. Nyamu even thought about treating them all to dinner at a restaurant—not that her mother would ever let her pay. She didn't even cash the checks Nyamu sent home for her.

When Nyamu asked her, she always shrugged and claimed they'd gotten lost in the mail. Nyamu knew for a fact this was a lie. But her mother said they were fine. They didn't need Nyamu's money. In fact, she insisted that Nyamu buy something for herself with it.

"You're so skinny!" her mother had scolded. "Is that Togawa girl even feeding you?"

The point was, Nyamu was supposed to be getting spoiled by her mother. She was supposed to be having a great time! But of course Aki had to ruin it. Nyamu had never met a more self-absorbed person in all her life. Except maybe Minami.

Mortis led the way down the hall and into the living room. She stopped so abruptly that Nyamu bumped right into her. With a frown, she dug into her bag.

"Oh! I forgot my phone…" Mortis looked up at Nyamu with a pout. "Can you go back and grab it?"

"Hm? Sure."

Nyamu turned around and started back toward her room. Mortis was seriously so forgetful. She'd probably forget her own alters if they didn't share a body. Nyamu chuckled to herself at her own joke.

A door opened next to her. Before Nyamu could react, something slammed into her side, sending her through the door. Just as she was regaining her balance, it slammed shut. A soft "click" sounded from the doorknob.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" Aki demanded.

Nyamu tried the doorknob, only to find it locked. "Open this door!" She pounded her fist on the wood.

"Not until you two learn to get along!" Mortis shouted back.

Nyamu glared at the door as if that would get it to move. Finally, she turned to face her little brother.

Aki sat crosslegged on his bed with a magazine in his hands. Slowly, Nyamu walked across the room and sat next to him. If she wanted Mortis to open the door, she needed to prove that she could get along with her brother. What could she even say to him, though?

As kids, they'd been close. Over the years, though, they'd grown apart. Nyamu barely knew him anymore. It's like he'd said. She wasn't there anymore.

"So are you, like... gay or what?" Aki asked.

Nyamu stared at him. "Wow. That's probably one of the worst ways you could have asked that question. I'm almost impressed."

He suppressed a grin.

"... yeah. I guess I am."

"Does mama know?"

"No. Just you."

"And that girl you brought with you." He nodded toward the door. "That's your girlfriend?"

Nyamu stiffened. "Yes," she said in a carefully measured tone. She prepared herself for a fight. Everything with Aki was always a fight.

"I'm a little surprised. She's way out of your league."

Nyamu punched her little brother in the arm. "Shut up." She cracked a smile, though. "She's pretty, ain't she?"

"How'd you end up with her?"

Nyamu thought back to the events of the previous year. The band getting together, then promptly exploding into a thousand tiny pieces. Nyamu's failed auditions. Her growing obsession with Mortis pulling her back. Lingering after band practice and everyone else had long since left. Mutsumi's soft voice as she thanked Nyamu for buying her a coffee, although she didn't take a single sip. Her growing affection.

"It's a long story," Nyamu said finally.

"Figures." Aki looked back down at his magazine, but he didn't seem to be reading it. He stared at the pages, never flipping.

"So… how have you been?" Nyamu asked.

Aki looked at her like she was the dumbest person he'd ever met. "Why do you care?"

"Because you're my brother, stupid." She punched him in the arm again, harder this time. "Of course I care about you."

Aki rubbed the spot with a wince. She'd always been stronger than him. The two years and the half foot of height she had on him was something he couldn't compete with. "Then why did you leave?" he asked in a voice so quiet Nyamu barely heard it.

"I wasn't leaving you."

"You did, though." Aki clenched his fists tight. He glared down at the comic in his lap. "You left us all here because your stupid band is more important to you than your own family."

"That's not true!" Nyamu grabbed him by the shoulders. "Ave Mujica is important to me, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving you behind. When you get older, you'll understand. You'll find something to devote the rest of your life to."

He fell silent.

Nyamu let go of him. She folded her hands in her lap quietly. "…do you really hate me?"

Aki looked scandalized. "No! Why would I—?! How can you even think that?"

"Because you said it."

He blanched. "I… Obviously, I didn't mean it." Aki shifted uncomfortably.

With his head down, Nyamu got a good look at the roots of his hair growing out. She wondered if he'd dyed it specifically to distance himself from her. After all, she was a celebrity. It made sense that people would compare them.

"…I shouldn't have said it."

"And I guess…" Nyamu sighed. "I guess I could have been a little nicer to you."

"It's weird when you're nice."

"Hey! I'm nice!"

Aki smirked. "Whatever you say."

Was that all she needed to say? She and her brother didn't talk about their feelings much. If it wasn't for Mortis locking them in a room together, they'd probably still be ignoring each other. They'd both be quietly seething—stewing in their own misery while waiting for the other one to crack.

They were alike in that way. In a lot of ways, really.

"Hey," Nyamu said.

Aki looked up. "Hm?"

"You know I, like… care about you, right?"

His jaw flexed as he kept his mouth firmly shut.

God, this was so awkward.

"You're my family. No matter what happens, don't ever doubt that. Okay?"

Aki's eyes watered. He surged forward, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. Nyamu couldn't remember the last time they'd hugged. Probably back when Aki was still a tiny little kid who cried whenever his big sister left school without him.

Some things never changed. At heart, Aki was still that kid. And Nyamu was still the older sister who would hold him while he cried.

She held on long after his shoulders stopped shaking. How many more times would she be able to hold her little brother until he decided he was too old for it? Nyamu wondered if this was how mothers felt when their kids grew up. She made a mental note to hug her mother a little more.

Eventually, Aki pulled away. He wiped the last tears from his eyes. Snot ran from his nose. Nyamu bit back a gag.

"You should tell her," Aki said. "Mama, I mean. About your girlfriend. She'll understand."

"I know…" Nyamu said. She glanced to the side. "It's just not that easy."

It was then that Nyamu noticed what the magazine Aki was holding was. It was a catalogue for a music store. He quickly hid it behind his back, but the damage was already done.

She smirked in the way only an older sibling about to tease their younger sibling can. "Since when are you interested in music?"

Aki's cheeks burned. "…since I saw your last concert online," he admitted meekly.

Nyamu gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I knew you'd be annoying about it!"

"So what do you think? Are you going to learn drums like your big sis?"

"I was thinking… maybe guitar. I've been saving up to buy one."

"I'll make you a deal. If you get all A's by the end of the year, I'll buy you any guitar you want."

Aki's eyes lit up. "Deal."

Nyamu might even have a guitar tutor for him if he played his cards right.

"I'm mad at you," Nyamu said.

Which was totally unfair! If it was up to Nyamu, she would have kept ignoring Aki until they gradually drifted further and further apart. It was thanks to Mortis's scheming that they were even able to talk to each other.

Mortis pouted. "It was for a good cause!"

Mutsumi patted her shoulder sympathetically. "For what it's worth, I think you did a good job."

At least someone appreciated her.

Nyamu leaned over and pressed a kiss to Mortis's cheek. "Thank you."

Mortis touched the spot with a smile. "Anytime."

With the dawn of their final day, Nyamu knew it was now or never. Her mother deserved to know the truth about her and Mutsumi's relationship. Mortis, she could keep a secret for a while longer. After all, it wasn't hers to tell. She'd leave that for those two to decide.

Nyamu found her mother in the kitchen. "Hey… Can we talk?"

Her mother gave her a puzzled look. "What's the matter?"

She sat at the kitchen table. This seeemed like a conversation that should happen while sitting. The last thing she needed was her mother falling over and hurting herself when she heard the news.

Taking her daughter's lead, Nyamu's mother sat across from her.

"Mama... I've got something to tell you." Nyamu looked across the table nervously at her mother. "I don't know how to say it, but..."

Her mother smiled comfortingly. She took Nyamu's hand across the table and squeezed. "Baby, you know you can tell me anything."

"I..." Nyamu took a deep breath and summoned all the courage in her body. "I like girls."

There was a silence between them. Nyamu kept her eyes firmly glued to the table. It was only when she heard a muffled sound that she looked up. Was her mother crying?

No. She wasn't. Nyamu's mother had a hand over her mouth trying to contain laughter.

"Wha—?! Don't laugh!"

"I'm sorry, baby! It's just... I already know."

Nyamu jumped up from the table. "You already know?!"

"Mhm. Ever since you put that swimsuit calendar in your room in junior high."

Nyamu's face flushed. "P— plenty of straight girls put up pictures of girls! What if I put it up because I wanted to look more like them?"

"Most girls wouldn't try so hard to justify it to their mama. Most girls wouldn't try to hide the posters they smuggled into their room. And you never wanted pictures of boys, either. When all the other girls were into boy bands, you wanted to know more about their girlfriends. Oh, and then there was that friend of yours from junior high—"

By now, Nyamu was beet red. "Alright! I get it!"

Nyamu's mother laughed long and hard. There were tears in the corners of her eyes. She'd probably get another laugh line from this conversation alone.

"So you don't mind?"

"Why would I? All I've ever wanted was for my baby girl to be happy."

Nyamu's eyes watered. "Mama!" she wailed.

Nyamu's mother brought her in for a warm hug. "Any mother who can't accept her baby girl should have never been a mother in the first place."

She thought about Mutsumi's relationship with Minami. How couldn't she after hearing something like that? Mutsumi would never experience acceptance from her mother. She'd never know what it was like to be held in her mother's arms and reassured that everything would be alright. The world was cold and cruel. It's family that makes life worth living.

Nyamu pulled away until she could look her mother in the face. "You should know… Mutsumi and I—"

"Shh… I know." Nyamu's mother rubbed her back soothingly. "I can't believe I have two beautiful daughters."

She couldn't stop the laughter bubbling out of her. "About that…"

Mutsumi and Nyamu were seated close together in the corner of the living room. They weren't quite touching. But if Mutsumi shifted over a few inches, she'd be right up against Nyamu.

By now, she'd grown used to the constant noise of Nyamu's family. The two youngest girls were playing a game. Meanwhile, Nyamu's mother was hard at work crocheting something. A scarf, maybe? Mutsumi couldn't be certain. Even Aki, dark and broody as he'd been the entire visit, was out of his room.

"I came out to my mom," Nyamu said quietly.

Mutsumi blinked. "You did? How did it go?"

"Fine. She said she knew already."

Mutsumi smiled a little. Then, a thought occurred to her. "Are you going to tell your mother about Aki? About… what you caught him with?"

"Hm?" Nyamu gave her a strange look. "Why would I?"

"You were really mad when we caught him at the playground. Now that your mother knows, you don't have to keep it a secret anymore."

Nyamu crossed her arms. She looked over at her siblings playing. Aki pretended not to care about his two baby sisters trying to get him to join them. After a few seconds, he couldn't suppress his smile any longer. He let his two other sisters drag him into whatever game they were playing.

"No, but I'll keep it anyway," Nyamu said with a long sigh. "That's what siblings do. You fight and you argue and you hate each other, but at the end of the day, it's you and them against the world."

Mutsumi smiled. What would it be like if she had someone there to help support her when she was younger? Maybe a sister just a little older than her. Old enough she could look out for Mutsumi but young enough that they got to grow up together. As much as she loved and appreciated Mortis, it wasn't at all the same.

"I'm just glad you two made up," Mutsumi said. "Your mother told me about what happened with your aunt."

Nyamu turned, a puzzled look on her face. "My aunt?"

"The… one that moved away? The one she never saw again?"

"What? No, my aunt visits us every summer."

"But she said—"

"They fought a lot when they were kids, sure, but they're still super close."

Mutsumi met Nyamu's mother's gaze across the room. To her shock, Nyamu's mother winked at her before returning to her crocheting. "I think I've been played."

Nyamu patted her on the back sympathetically. "Now you see where I get it from."

Mutsumi knocked on the door.

A moment later, Aki answered. They were the same height, a welcome change from always having to look up at Nyamu all the time. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk?"

It was half Mortis's idea. Mutsumi was content to just think about it, but Mortis had pushed her to go through with it.

"You should just do it now so you don't regret it later!"

The thought of sitting on the plane back to Tokyo without having this conversation filled Mutsumi with dread. So, she woke up before Nyamu and reluctantly untangled herself from the girl. With any luck, she'd be back before Nyamu even knew she was gone.

Aki stared at her hard before stepping out of the way and letting her in his room.

Mutsumi looked around. She'd never been in a boy's room. Frankly, she hoped she never would again. Aki's room was messy. Clothes were scattered across the floor, mixed in with schoolwork and various trinkets. Magazines and comics were precariously stacked on the night stand.

Mutsumi clasped her hands in front of her. "I'm M—"

"Mutsumi. I know." He glanced at a poster on his wall.

Mutsumi recognized it instantly. Ave Mujica's latest album release. "Oh…"

"Look, if this is about you dating my sister, I don't care. You seem alright. A little weird but alright."

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"It's okay," Mortis said in her ear. "I'm here."

"I've… never had a sibling before," Mutsumi started. "I'm an only child, and… my mother doesn't love me. Not like yours does."

The memory of the warm hug Nyamu's mother had given her as greeting only further distanced Mutsumi from Minami. Her mother would never hug her. Her mother couldn't stand the sight of her.

Aki had a somber expression as he listened. He had Nyamu's eyes. Mutsumi could see that now that he was looking at her. They had the same nose, too. It had to be from their father. They got their cheekbones from their mother, though.

"I don't have a family, but Nyamu means a lot to me. And I can tell that you're important to her."

Aki looked down bashfully.

"So please. Don't let your sister down."

"I won't," he said firmly. There was a resolve there that Mutsumi recognized well. He had the same stubborn attitude as his sister. "She's right. I'm the oldest now. Mama and the girls need me."

Mutsumi wondered what it must be like to feel needed by a family member. To have someone relying on you. To have someone who counted on you to pick them up when they fell. She'd never experienced it. Nor would she ever.

"Can you tell me something?" Aki asked.

Mutsumi made a little noise of acknowledgement.

"Is Nyamu happy in the city?"

What a loaded question. Mutsumi didn't always communicate her thoughts best. For this, though, she found herself carefully picking through what she wanted to say.

"She is," Mutsumi finally decided on. "But she talks about her family back home all the time."

Aki grinned.

There was that smile Mutsumi had seen in the photos. That little boy who hung off his sister's arm was growing up.

"One last thing." Aki's smile vanished as he looked down at the floor. "There's this band in Tokyo. Kind of underground. Have you heard of them?"

It was then that Mutsumi spotted a second poster on Aki's wall. MyGO!!!!! First Live!

"Oh," Mutsumi said quietly. It was surprising to see a poster for Tomori's band this far from the city.

"Do you know them?" Aki's face lit up. "I asked Nyamu to introduce me, but she said she doesn't know them. I knew she was lying!"

"She doesn't know them."

Not really, anyway. Mutsumi knew Tomori, Soyo, and Taki from their old band. Raana had been the one to draw Mutsumi back out. Admittedly, she didn't have as strong a connection with Anon, but her positivity was a welcome reprieve. Nyamu had met some of the members in passing. She knew Raana due to her sometimes stealing Mortis away. She knew Taki because of her friendship with Umiri. Other than that? Nyamu barely knew the other girls.

Mutsumi looked at the poster. "I know them."

"Do you know Raana-chan?!" Aki hopped up from the bed and tapped Raana on the poster. "She's sooo cool."

Mutsumi smiled. "She is," she agreed.

"Does she..." He flushed a little bit. "Does she have a boyfriend?"

Boyfriend? No. But Mortis's memories of what she and Raana got up to drifted through Mutsumi's mind. There was no way she'd tell Aki any of that, though.

"You aren't really her type," Mutsumi said instead.

Aki deflated. "Damn… It was worth a shot, anyway. It's fine. All the coolest guitar players are gay. I guess I could have guessed it."

At that, Mutsumi laughed. It was such a ridiculous statement to make—one she found herself agreeing with. Every guitarist she'd ever met had been a girl who liked girls. Maybe it had something to do with her sample size…?

"I should get back," Mutsumi said, glancing at the door. "I need to pack."

"Right. Good talk," he said a little awkwardly.

She started for the door. Mutsumi almost wanted to pat herself on the back for how smoothly this had gone. Relatively speaking, anyway. Even someone like her with poor communication skills could get her point across. That was something worth celebrating.

"Oh, and Mutsumi?"

She turned.

"Earlier, when you said you don't have a family… you're wrong. Me and Mama and the girls and Nyamu. You've got us."

Mutsumi's vision blurred with tears. Mortis, who had been patiently watching and waiting, pushed forward. She wrapped her arms around Aki and hugged him close.

"Wha—?! Let me go!"

Mortis squeezed him tight. "I've never had a brother before! Give your big sister a hug!"

"Nyamu!" Aki cried, his voice cracking. "Your girlfriend's being weird!"

Nyamu burst into the room. "What the—? Muuko?!"

Finally, Mortis let him go. She wiped her eyes. "He said…" She sniffled. "He said he's my family…"

Aki's face flushed bright red. "Get out of my room!"

The younger girls clung to Nyamu's legs and cried the moment they heard their big sister was leaving.

"Do you really have to go?" one of them asked.

Every time she manage to pry one of her sisters off of her, the other one latched on again. "Yes," Nyamu said. "I really have to go!"

"Girls!" Nyamu's mother scolded. "Let go of your sister!"

Begrudgingly, the two girls let go. Nyamu wrapped them up in a tight, squeezing hug.

"I'll miss you!" one of the girls said.

"I'll miss you more!" the other chimed in.

Their earlier misery was forgotten in exchange for fighting over who would miss Nyamu more. Mutsumi smiled at the sight up until she was brought in for a bone-crushing hug courtesy of Nyamu's mother.

"You'll have to come back and visit next summer," Nyamu's mother said. She leaned in close. "Take care of my baby girl for me," she whispered.

Mutsumi gave her a small nod. "I will," she said to both requests. She wondered if they could bring Umiri next time they visited. Then, she felt a little embarrassed at thinking of how they would explain their relationship.

Nyamu had to hold back tears as she gave her mother a hug. Even Mutsumi could feel her eyes getting a little misty at the display. Goodbyes were always hard. In the few days she'd spent with Nyamu's family, Mutsumi had felt more loved than she ever had in her own home. How could she possibly go back to her old life?

Aki hovered awkwardly by the door. He seemed to be trying to project nonchalance and failing horribly. "Hey."

"Hey," Nyamu said back.

"I guess you're leaving."

"I guess so."

They both fell silent.

"I'll, like… see you around, then."

"See ya," Nyamu said.

"Now hug," Mortis ordered.

Both siblings stared at her in horror. They opened their mouths to object but Mortis held up a hand to stop them.

"You know if you get on that plane without a proper goodbye, you'll regret it the whole way home."

Reluctantly, Nyamu stepped toward her brother. Their hug was the most awkward thing Mortis had ever seen in her life.

Nyamu rubbed her knuckles hard on the top of his head. "You're still so short," she said with a laugh. "Eat your vegetables or you'll never catch up."

Just like that, the tension was broken. Aki pulled away with a huff. He immediately started fixing his hair from where his sister had messed it up.

"Oh my god. You're so annoying!"

Mortis giggled.

Maybe this was what family was all about. Picking and needling at each other and never truly being able to say what you mean. Because don't they already know? Isn't it obvious how much you love each other? Through all their harsh words, there was another meaning.

I'm worried about you.

Are you getting enough to eat?

I'll miss you.

For all his attempts at acting like he didn't care, Aki looked at Nyamu like she was his hero. Only someone who loved their sister would put up a poster of her band. Maybe that was why Nyamu leaving had hit him so hard.

Aki held out his fist to Mutsumi. "Don't let Nyamu push you around too much."

Mortis connected her knuckles with his. "I won't."

"I'm not a bully!" Nyamu protested.

"And you should stop dying your hair," Mortis said.

Aki touched his hair thoughtfully. "Maybe. I guess you'll have to come by next summer to see."

She grinned. "I guess so."

Mutsumi slept the whole plane ride home. In just the few days she'd spent with Nyamu's family, she'd never felt so emotionally exhausted. Nyamu didn't complain once. They both knew Mutsumi had more than earned the rest.

Umiri was waiting for them at the airport. Mutsumi made a beeline for her.

"Welcome back," Umiri said.

Mutsumi hugged her so hard Umiri made a little noise of surprise. It wasn't dissimilar to a dog toy's squeaker. With her chin in Umiri's sternum, she tipped her head back to look up at her girlfriend. "I missed you."

Umiri smiled back at her. "I missed you, too."

It was like a missing piece of herself slotted into place now that Umiri was back at her side.

"I wish I could have gone with you," Umiri said with a sigh. "But my mother—"

"Your mother loves you," Mutsumi said before she could finish her complaint. "Don't take her for granted."

Umiri raised an eyebrow. "What did the Yuutenji family do to you?"

Nyamu ran a hand through her hair. "It's a long story. Tell you over dinner?"

"Sounds like a plan."

The trio set off. Mutsumi stuck close to Umiri. She didn't realize just how much she missed her until she was back in arm's reach. Aki had been right. Mutsumi did have a family. In fact, she had more family members now than she knew what to do with.